Monday Morning Podcast - Throwing Little-People, the Television Hall of Fame, Instagram Locations | Monday Morning Podcast 8-18-25
Episode Date: August 18, 2025Bill rambles about throwing little-people, the Television Hall of Fame, and Instagram location settings. Open Phone: Go to www.OpenPhone.com/BURR and get 20% off your first six months. You can e...ven bring your existing number with you for free.
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Hey, what's going on?
It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday.
August 18th,
2000, 25.
What's going on?
How are you?
Oh my God.
Where is the summer going?
Hang on.
Can someone just explain to me
where the summer went?
I swear to God.
It was almost like it was just winter
and now it's the end of summer.
There's no goddamn spring or fall anymore.
I'll tell you where you can't stay anymore, the four seasons.
They've got to change the name to the two seasons.
You know what it is?
It's because of Trump and Joe Biden,
and they were listening to Obama and Bush,
who had the Clinton's ears,
who talked to George Bush, Sr.,
and he brought it all to Ronald Reagan.
And they all decided there was going to be only two seasons.
Because they didn't,
like having to move their shit out of the attic four times a year.
They just wanted two clothes, winter and summer.
And that's true.
But you'll never see that on the internet because the world's afraid of it.
Sorry.
Oh, my God.
Red Sox lost today.
What a fun-ass fucking team to watch, though.
I'm having such a good time getting caught up with those guys.
Marcelo Meyer is that his name
22 year old third baseman
we got a 21 year old kid in left field
we're fucking young
in the words of the late great
Kevin Knox
you're young you're young
they're coming on
we're in first place for the fucking wild
card I think we could win the first round
surprise somebody
build off of that
I'll tell you they've been wearing those
alternative uniforms so much
it was weird to see their regular
once. I gotta tell you, I fucking hate to say this, I like the green monster ones. First it
was the hat and now I'm looking at the jersey and I'm like, ah right, that's fucking cool.
And I love green. God damn it. Now I got, you know, so what do I do? What do I do? I go on the fucking website and the hat's all sold out.
It's all sold out. You can't try to buy the hat on the day that they're wearing it because too many people are at home going, I want one of those. And I was one of those people.
I was one of those people
I got left out in the fucking rain man
you would think all these years
sitting out there in the bleachers
with all the other big-headed Bostonians
they would have a hat in my fucking size
and they do not
although here's a good one for you
don't try to buy merch for your team
when they're hot as a pistol
as they always say
best home record
best record
at home since June something.
They keep saying that.
And then we have the most walk-off wins of the year.
What does that all translate to?
I don't know, about six games out of first place.
I think the Blue Jays won.
You know, and that's good, man.
You know, Toronto, I don't get mad at it.
Canada needs a winner.
You know what I mean?
Like I always felt like Canadian people never
white people in Canada never really got their due for like how evil they are you know what I mean
because of because of that imaginary line we act like they're not also from Europe and there are also
not from countries that began the slave trade you know they just they were just up there so they got
like cut off like you remember like behind the music and there'd be some big band and they'd always be
some dude who got kicked out or quit the band early on and then the
band goes on to play fucking arenas you know what i mean i feel like that's what happened to the
white europeans that settled up in canada like they they were like that first drummer or that rhythm
guitarist he just didn't have the look you know or he knocked up his girlfriend and that was it you know
and they missed out on you know us up you know being a part of us and saying how awesome we are
while, you know, oppressing people.
You missed out on it.
We are the Oprah Winfrey of countries,
except nobody gets a car.
It's just you got weapons of mass destruction,
and you got weapons of mass destruction.
Everybody freaking out in the audience.
Canada missed out.
So why can't they be up five fucking games?
in the AL East on August 18th.
You got a good reason? Can you explain that to me?
Why they shouldn't be up five games?
I had that bad company song in my head.
Ooh, I want you today, yay!
And I don't know any of the music. I've heard that song, I don't know any of the lyrics.
I'm ready for love. I know the hook.
I keep singing the name of Billy Squire's drummer in it.
The late-great Bobby Shoo-Win-Out.
Bobby Shoo-Nod, Bobby Shoo-Nod, ooh, I want you to stay, yeah, all day long.
And then I think about Eddie Murphy when he played Buckwheat, when I get to the chorus,
I'm ready-punov.
Oh, baby, I'm ready-punub.
I went to the gym today, and I was singing along to the song,
and I was singing Ready Put Nub,
and this woman on the treadmill just looked over and gave me a weird look,
and she was one of the rare people that did not have,
like, those little fucking white earplug things in.
She actually wasn't listening to any music,
and I just walked by going, ready put nub!
Old Billy Backbend!
Three quarters of the way up!
Huh?
How do you like that?
that how do you like that pasty is all get out white is the fucking snow on the first day of
fucking the year barely any pigment barely any athletic ability ugly as a four-day bender
and there he is getting three-quarters the inexplicably if you could see the level of shock on people's face
when they see a fucking 57-year-old white man
get on the mat
make a look of pain
a wincing look on his
as he anticipates the pain
and getting up
I mean it's literally it's like the spruce goose
I'm not going to lie to you
if you ever saw the one and only flight
of the spruce goose down I think it was down near Long Beach
it had like 19 engines on both fucking way i mean this guy was just
howard hughes was uh there was something wrong with that guy
and i think it was called syphilis i think he had syphilis
it entered through his his uh penile corridor and ended up in his brain
this guy fucking he crashed he's crashed more planes than i have cars
although i have an impeccable driving record but i've been in some accidents when i
I was younger, you know, when drinking and driving was actually on the sheet to be considered
an Olympic event, at the last second we came to our senses, we're like, no, this is stupid,
this is killing people. All right? We already have the TT. We don't need Olympic level
drinking and driving. That would be amazing.
oh my god you do a throwback 80s night okay the music the fashion the hairstyles all of that
and then you have one of those figure eight race tracks and it's the fucking uh it's to drinking and
driving what you got the daytona 500 this would be the day drinking 50 or something I've got
You gotta somehow see 500, I don't know, the day drinking 500.
And it's you and another driver.
Just hear me out on this, all right?
It's just you and another driver.
Everybody signed their fucking waivers.
Your waivers rancheros, okay?
You get into your car, right?
It's all safe.
You got a fire suit on and shit.
You know what's funny is you would see the most accidents and the
least amount of injuries.
The dude driving drunk never gets hurt.
He can be ejected through the fucking windshield.
And he's just,
he's like one of those fucking things outside of car wash.
You know, those things they blow the air up in.
Just a giant Gumby.
Like, you must have seen that clip with that,
those people were mouthing off on the golf course.
Some public golf course shit, right?
Because they don't have to worry about a membership.
So they're getting after it, right?
One foursome is yelling at another forcum.
And it turns out one of the guys is a retired hockey player.
So, of course, there's always some guy, you know, who just thinks if he yells,
let's go intensely enough, he'll know how to fight, you know.
Let's go.
Let's fucking go.
He was doing that.
And literally got into a fight with a former NHL enforcer.
Now, this isn't what I want you to watch in the video.
what people
they're all making fun of in the
he throws the fucking dude into a
into a mash
into a lake
into a pond
into a sound
I don't know how big the water is
a lake
throws him into the
fucking pond
the kid comes
comes out of the fucking pond
like Jason in Friday the 13th
um
and it like it wasn't enough for
going into the pond
didn't sober him up at all.
He was just like,
that's all you got.
It's all you got.
I'm going to walk up to you
in squishy fucking sneakers
and socks right now.
Coming up to you.
So he goes after the guy again.
And this is when I'm telling you
why drunk drivers
never seem to get hurt
and everybody else does,
when the hockey player
fucking throws that guy,
the complete lack of resistance,
that he has to any of it.
He's like a fucking newspaper in the wind.
He just goes with it.
He's like, like, jello.
And he just fucking lands, and he pops right back up again.
Nothing.
Shoulders not blown out.
Didn't break his collarbone.
What gets you hurt is you go,
you fucking tense up and everything's all fucking rigid.
But this guy, he went, I'm telling you,
he went like, he just got, there was nothing he could do.
It was like, he just fucking went with it,
and he landed and fucking popped right back up again.
So anyway, everybody's, you know,
making these memes about this guy getting thrown or whatever,
but they're missing the lesson here.
The lesson here is if you're drunk enough,
in a fight and somebody throws you
on grass or
into a fucking body of water
like did nothing's going to happen
your clothes are going to get wet
you're going to have to go to the dry cleaner
all right if that dude was stone sober
go let's fucking go
I'm telling me he got thrown into the
somehow his head would hit a fucking rock
when he came out and that dude threw him
he would have tried to fight it and he would
have like broke his fucking neck
his foot would have got spun around
Something would have happened.
But he was prepared.
This man was shit-faced.
So nothing happened.
He took like 12 punches from a former NHL enforcer
who was also making sound effects
as he was punching him.
He was going, bang, bang, bang, all of them,
waiting for the knockout punch.
This dude was like Tex Cobb, just fucking eating all of them.
he took like 12 punches from an
retired NHL enforcer
was thrown in a fucking lake
and then hurled
like I haven't seen another human being
get thrown like that since back in the day
on wide world or sports
they used to try to find the best bouncer
in the United States I swear to God
this was true
in one of the events
it was like how you could kick somebody out of a bar
like you throw them out of a bar
so they had stuntmen midgets
with like these these fucking
I don't know, these belts on that they could just pick up and out you go.
And they would throw these little people.
This was on television.
Big, roided up men with mustaches throwing midgets.
And it was part of a sports program.
And that was back when you could buy a lazy boy that had a built-in ash,
tray in the fucking arm and you were ready put nub oh baby you were ready put nub um anyway i had a
fucking epic epic epic epic dad weekend with the kids just making up for all that time i was doing the
play i'm going to i'm going to give you an example of the kind of days i'm having with my kids
all right
and this
like the dad day
I had
just on Saturday
was like
I was dialed in
like Wayne Gretzky
was it
1982 when he scored
96 goals
when it didn't even seem
like
how to fucking
somebody even do this shit
I did the dad
version of Wayne Gretzky
in 1982
I'm talking shit
somebody needs to throw me
in a fucking pond
um
arms
never went out didn't even try to break his fucking fall peaches fucking woo he enjoyed the goddamn
ride um so don't ever forget that you know somehow the gorilla ever breaks out of the zoo
and just grabs you by the throat and throws you across the fucking parking lot don't fight the
gorilla just go with it you know enjoy the ride
on the pavement underneath that park bench just stay there just stay there and let that fucking
thing pick somebody else um so this is my day i woke up i made two dutch babies my kids that's
their favorite breakfast so they're getting bigger now so they they want one each right so i made
that then we drove around my neighborhood in my old truck and they both took turns steering it
my daughter also used the turn signal
then I got some gas
I went out to breakfast
get myself something
the to-go thing and I got them
some cookies
then we went back to the house
I met my mother-in-law
we went bowling and there was an arcade there
and there was a bar there
I mean this fucking place you could
if they ever did the Big Lobowski
again like this fucking place was amazing um and i'm not gonna lie to you i got thirsty when i was
there i was like this is the kind of place that old billy freckles were day drinking
because the bar they took the fucking bar the bar was all the way up you know it's a classic
bowling alley layout you walk in you see all the lanes it's amazing like walking into a
ballpark when you come out from underneath and you walk up you see all the fucking lanes all right
And then you see, like, there was an arcade in the corner, and then there was a place to get food.
And it was like that hockey rink food, that's, you know, the square pieces of pizza, all that bullshit.
But then tucked her all the way around the corner was this bar.
I couldn't believe Steve Buscemi and John Goodman, you know, weren't sitting there drinking with, like, Hawaiian shirts on.
And I looked at that.
And it was great, too, was it was like, it was a three-sided bar, like, up against the wall.
And there was a way to walk all the way around to the backside
and get that last chair on the back side
and just sit there
just getting fucking hammered
and nobody even knows. You know what I mean?
And I'll tell you right now,
and I'm not going to tell you later. I'm going to tell you right now,
somebody, if I was in there for fucking three hours,
could pick me up like that dude in the golf cars
and throw me down one of those alleys
and you would get a fucking strike
and I would not get hurt at all
and I would just get up
with the same look as that kid
and you could do it again
I would be that perfect level
of fucking hammered that I should not
be driving but I cannot get hurt if you throw
me
it's when we went bowling
and then
we were driving down the street and there was a
random
motorcycle store so I brought the kids
in there and they were checking out the
motorcycles and they've you know kids love motorcycles um and then we came back to the house we had
a late lunch and then we went swimming and my kids just fucking attack me the entire time i'm in the
pool like my son swims at me with his his hand at his forehead trying to look like a shark fin
and then he pops his head out of the water and he tries to bite me and my daughter's always going
under the water she's grabbing my legs and shit and I finally just said can you guys just let me enjoy the pool
you know how come you don't do this to your mother you only do this to me and my daughter goes
because you let us and it's like well I'm not letting you now and then she goes yeah but we know
you're not serious which I was serious but what she said was so funny I laughed and then it started
back up for like another 20 minutes
yeah they're insane i'm not a person to them i'm a fucking bouncy house
like my daughter's like dad walk to like more towards the deep end so you're underwater
so i can stand on your shoulders and jump off of them i don't know i should be like no
that's going to hurt i'm old but instead i go all right does this mean you like me and uh yeah
That was it. That was one day. That was one day. And then this morning we woke up, you know, we went out, went out to breakfast. I had the kids steering the truck again in the neighborhood.
Got my son to do it. He was a little nervous about doing it. And then he started doing it. We're like, buddy, buddy, buddy, back to the right, back to the right, back to the right. He would be like laughing, looking at his sister. I had to like fix it or whatever. But I don't know. I'm really having a great time with them enjoying these last few.
few days before they go back to school, you know, and I keep running into parents, you know,
and they just keep saying, you know, goes by fast, you know, it's like slow and fast,
all the same, that's all they say. It's like they try to, it's like, dude, I'm sorry that you're
sad. Your kids are grown up. How old are your kids? Oh, eight and five. Oh, that's such a
magical age grow enjoy it enjoy it because they grow up so fast and then fucking awful things awful
things it's like all right all right yes like they always every fucking parent that has grown up kids
always says it goes by fast it goes by it's like i i know it does and someone said that to you
and there's nothing you can fucking do about it so stop doing that because my kids are still eight and five
I want to fucking enjoy.
Just stop putting your fucking sadness onto me.
You're not talking to me right now.
You're talking to your younger self.
All right?
I'm in the pool.
I'm letting them drive my truck down the street.
All right.
Stop fucking giving me anxiety, you cunts.
All right.
Ooh, I want you to shut the fuck up.
Anyway, oh, Billy, elevation.
about ready to take my drumming to a whole new fucking level
I don't know why I got all intents about that
I for the longest time
had wanted to get a high hat
a fixed high hat
on the right hand side of my kit
so I can play along
to all this double bass shit that I loved growing up
all right
and that's everything from
Metallica Slayer
uh
Primus
um
Pantera
Van Halen
Motorhead
what else
even Tommy Lee
threw in some double pebble
shit every once in a while we had a double base for a while up until he had a double base until
1989 when he went on the doctor feel good tour but right up through girls girls girls he had a double
base and he was a pearl guy and then he switched over to dw yes i do know all of this shit so anyway
that's going to be my next move to try to fill up the void
is going to be my next move.
Bill, nobody's saying
nobody's saying you can't do it, you know?
All right.
Sorry, sorry, just get like a little intent.
You know what it is?
I'm fucking so excited
that I have
all of this fucking time off.
Like, I ain't doing shit
for the rest of the fucking year.
Except doing shit like that.
Like playing with
my kids and buying a fixed high hat. That's it. And avoiding people that have grown up children,
so I don't have to listen to them tell me how fast it goes by. I am enjoying every second of it.
I have spent more fucking time with my kids in the last month than any kid from my generation
got from their parents,
their entire upbringing.
We were just fucking outside.
Go outside.
Just go outside.
That's what it was.
Go outside.
I'll tell you know what's funny is
I never heard anybody from my parents' generation
talking about, you know, it goes by quick.
I guess you wouldn't say that to a kid, though, right?
They were just different.
You know what it was?
fucking internet there was no social media so like parents used to fucking hang out with each
other you know and just get ripped you know it is funny about fucking alcohol is if you keep
drinking at a certain level past a certain age you just fucking red as far as like a white
person you know like last night i was at this event and
And, you know, I'm telling you, that bowling alley with the bar kind of, you know, I wasn't going to do anything.
But that was like a fuck.
Every once in a while.
Because usually 99% of the time, I'm like, I'm so psyched I don't drink anymore.
But every once in a while, oh, you know what I mean?
It's like a retired baseball player smelling the fresh cut grass.
Just like, hearing the sound of a ball hitting a bat.
And he just, oh, man, I wouldn't love to go up there and just fucking.
and take a couple of cuts.
Yeah, well, I'm not an athlete.
I was a functioning alcoholic,
so I get that feeling when I look at a bar.
Like, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Dude, back in the day, me Bartnick Verzi
in a bowling alley bar during the fucking day,
that would be one of those hangs
that we talked about 10 years later.
trying to remember what the fuck we were laughing at oh my god that's what i actually feel bad for
oligarchs like do they have that do they get to have that moment do they ever just get to go
get hammered in a bowling alley bar can they take the time to just fucking and enjoy that
or are they too busy thinking about like looking everybody bowling thinking about how much money
they're making off at each one of those people.
You know, like oligarchs, like when they go to some orgy
and they're all dressed up like different animals and stuff,
like do you really get that fucking high school cafeteria laugh
in the middle of it?
You know, when they're sacrificing a virgin,
is there, I don't know.
It's a different world.
But you definitely, you know,
you think about it so anyway uh last night i went to a went to this event
electing people into the uh television hall of fame and um it was one of the most fascinating
the group of people that they inducted and they went through their whole careers
The stuff that these people did, and then what people said about them before they brought
them up and what the people said when they were up there, like, you know, those award shows go
on a long time.
This is the only award show I've ever been to where the whole thing was fascinating to me.
Put it this way.
It opened with Viola Davis.
She opened.
And they had her whole career, and then she went up there and just winged his speech on
how she overcame
and I don't know what
just built herself up up in her head
to do all of this stuff
then they brought this dude up
Ron or Rod something or other
he wrote all the fucking music to every goddamn song
every show he had a partner
and then continued on after his partner died
he did every fucking theme song
from the Rockford Files
greatest American hero
A-team, Magnum P.I.
He did the Law and Order theme.
They brought him up on stage.
That's where they brought.
Bump, bum, bum, bum, bum.
And he went up on stage,
and they were showing everybody on TikTok
that do, like, these dance routines to that.
That whole craze.
And he just went up shaking his head,
like, I don't know why these kids are doing this,
but this is awesome.
Hill Street Blues.
L.A. Law.
All the fucking major hits.
then they had another guy
who had passed away
but his thing was he did
events
like big events like Super Bowl
halftime he was the king of like that stuff
Super Bowl half times
shows
the 9-11
tribute
the Olympics
when Muhammad Ali came out with the tour
like those
the Oscars like giant events
where it's basically live
you got one shot at it
and the odds of you
screwing it up
and critics ripping you apart
because everybody's watching it
so everyone is going to read
about it and it's a good way to get clicks
and get attention and make money
so you've got to have your own hot take
this guy lived in that pressure
crushed all of those
then the next one up
was Henry Winkler
and they showed all of his work
from pre-happy days
to
like post Barry
all this stuff that he did
and he's just like
like I don't know if you did like a coaching tree
of the nicest people ever
if you if you
like
I
to me it's Henry Winkler
Adam Sandler
and then I got to think who's third
but like
Henry Winkler is literally the nicest human being you're ever going to meet.
And he went up and was absolutely hilarious and, of course, totally humble and, of course,
you know, very inspiring and all of that.
And I don't know.
If there's a way to live a perfect life, like, because there's a lot of people that are like,
loved at home but get their ass kicked at work or people at work love them but then their
home life suffers this guy just straight across the board crushes it professionally and
personally and he was giving shoutouts to his grandkids and like everybody was there was was
fucking amazing and then to close it out um Conan o'brien went up and then he he fuck oh my god he
fucking murdered.
He roasted everybody
in a playful way
that had been up there.
He made fun of the venue
that we were at.
He made fun of himself.
And then, of course,
had an overall
positive outlook on the future,
the future of television,
the future of creativity,
and the future of people.
How he always does,
lands it.
You don't have to be
totally silly and ridiculous.
I don't know where he hits you
with some profound shit.
it was an amazing night and I'll tell you I went there and after I got in and I sat down
you know my wife was out of town can't make it right so I'm there by myself feeling like an
asshole I'm like yeah you know I'll I'll hang here for like an hour then I'm just gonna I'm gonna
wait or as they clap somebody off I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna leave and it was so
entertaining I stayed for the whole thing and that
was my evening um i gotta get back on stage i haven't done stand up in a minute and i got a bunch
of new shit that i want to fork and try out um oh and i had a nice fucking helicopter ride and i had a
nice motorcycle ride i had a great fucking week oh billy down time oh billy down time um yeah that's
it all right i got i got to hit pause here and see if any of these materials have come in yet
because I don't have any of my, the questions from you guys are the advertising yet.
And through the magic of the pause button, I have my materials that I need.
All right, let's do, I only got one read, everybody.
Lucky you guys, you only have to listen to me read out loud once.
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And with that, and we're back.
with your questions for the week.
Black Sabbath.
Hey, Billy Butstuff.
Hey, Bill, a long time,
a long time listener and fellow mashole.
He put a comma after a, he said,
Hey, Bill, comma, a long time, comma.
Hey, Bill, a long time.
Listener and fellow masthole.
And he spelled Masshole, M-A-S-S-O-A-E.
H-L-E. This fucking guy. He was day-drinking at a bowling alley. His fucking thumbs were drunk.
A few weeks ago, when Ozzy died, I heard you reference a song where he is pleading to God
and how much it creeped you out. I apologize if somebody else let you in, but the song is
Black Sabbath by Black Sabbath off the album, off the Black Sabbath album. So they were the first
ones to do that, huh? Because I remember there was a band called Big Country.
that had a song named Big Country, off the album, Big Country.
In a big country, dream stay with you to the lover's boy, to the mountain side.
Stay on sides.
That's what you're singing in a hockey game.
Also, I know you appreciate it, but it was the last song that WAAF played at midnight.
Oh my God, WAAF, kick ass, rock and roll.
Before they were bought out by a Christian rock station.
Do you know I actually bought a WAAF kick ass rock and roll t-shirt and I wore to school the amount of shit that I got?
I came walking in and the first kid said, oh my God, I always hear those advertised on the radio.
I never knew somebody who bought them.
Do you remember that?
Do you remember when you showed up to school wearing something that you weren't even fucking questioning?
And is you got half a fucking pony high top into your fucking 19.
1980s high school, somebody shits on it, and you're just like, oh, God, this is going to be a long day.
Why couldn't it be gym day?
I would have had my gym stuff I could change.
And he yelled it too in the hallway.
Got a big laugh, and then that was it.
I spent the rest of the day with my arms crossed across, you know, my chest didn't help.
Anyway, they were bought out by a Jesus station.
The only thing's scarier than Black Sabbath by Black Sabbath off the Black Sabbath out.
is a rock a kick-ass rock and roll station getting bought out by a christian rock station
how much are you in the cult that you pick up a gibson less paul and you're still singing about the
lord it's not what guitar is about sinning i get it you're into jesus did you just
apologize for this later let's let's do some black sabbash shit
anyway this person said i was in a college at fitchburg state at the time and working at a liquor store
and ran to my car to hear what song w aaf would play last that's kind of cool that you knew it was a big
moment i actually you could go on youtube and listen to the last like i think shift of w bcn i know this
sounds like old guy stuff but you have like no idea how personal like radio was what station you
listen to the bands that they played and the on-air personalities the DJs and like it was this is
before a clear channel it was just regional so these people on the radio they sat in the same
traffic ate the same food rooted for the same sports teams
So they basically expressed, you know, like, Jesus Christ, is they going to snow again this weekend?
But Bob, they just, they were going through the same thing.
86 when the Red Sox blew it, they were there for that.
We got blown out by the bears.
All of that shit.
They were just, they were fucked.
Too many men on the ice.
They were fucking there.
Some construction project not working out.
They were fucking there.
And, you know, technology continued on.
and they all disappeared.
This person goes on.
Anywho, actually the kinks were a really cool song about that,
around the dial, about some kid, you know,
putting on the radio and his favorite DJ isn't there anymore,
and you're trying to figure out why?
Because there was no information back then.
They just weren't fucking there.
You're like, what the fuck happened?
Anywho, this person said,
I'm a big fan, and I've been doing comedy for a little over a year,
in the boston and worcester scene i'm doing all right for myself but i just want want to know what you
think about young comics trying to come up and do it the right way i'm looking i think it means
booking small shows and i host an open night right next to the wilbur and the wang love your brother
the last special was fantastic uh what do i think about comics coming up doing it the right way i'll
be honest with you i don't know what the right way is i know it worked for me
um i think uh you know i don't want to fall into that thing that you know the way my generation
did it's the right way and that's the only way to do it there was a lot of you know older comics
that looked at my generation like what are you guys doing that's not comedy though that's
not even jokes um so comedy is just like music where it it keeps evolving it keeps changing
And, you know, but it is a weird thing where you can kind of stay contemporary.
You don't get, like, locked in to a decade, like so many bands do by their fan base and by critics.
Like, they won't accept any new music from you or whatever.
They just want you to play the hits.
Comedy is the opposite where they want new shit.
They don't want to hear the old stuff.
But I don't know.
But I think as much as it changed is probably, you know, the only way to get better at this shit is to get on stage, you know, anywhere you can.
And I don't know, you just learn while you're on stage.
I guess you mean by the right way is to not try to make it in two seconds by, you know, posting clip after clip after clip on Instagram.
I don't think that that's a bad thing.
I mean, I'm glad it wasn't around when I was coming up because I would be, like, some of your earlier shit, it's like, oh, my God.
I wouldn't want any of that stuff seeing the light of day.
But I don't know, man.
Like, my advice to you is what feels like the right way, do that.
Just work your ass off.
Don't be an asshole.
And say what you want to say on stage.
however you go about doing that i think you'll be all right um anyway all right plowing ahead here
what's the next one what's the next one it's always always nice to hear from a comedian though
as an older fella um all right havoc hvacac i have no idea what this is about hvac hey there billy ball sweat
union havoc hvac service tech here
uh heard you bitching up a storm
about the idiots not putting a return in your drum room
hope they are bending you over on the bill
you got to watch these non-union guys dude let me tell you something
you got to watch all the guys
anytime you get anything you're like listen
don't fucking touch anything until you have everything
to replace it. Order everything,
have it ready to go, then
rip it out and put it in. And what
do they always say, oh yeah, no problem,
no problem, but what do they do? They rip it
out and immediately there's fucking delays
and they always have like 10 fucking jobs
going. And once they fucking gut
your place, dude, come on.
Don't even act like
it's just non-union guys. Anyway,
most are fine, but for example,
my wife's grandma's
AC
went down last week.
and they told her she needed a whole new system
because the refrigerant is out of production.
It's hard to get, but the shit isn't out of production.
They just lied to an old lady to get an easy cash grab,
11 grand for a new unit.
I repaired the leak for $40 of materials
and $400 of refrigerant later,
and she's good to go.
Wow.
$440.
you know let's be honest if you did that for somebody you'd probably charge him what a grand 800 a grand
but still that's 10 grand less you didn't charge you for labor uh anyway scabs are out here
doing half-ass work and charging out the ass so my suggestion is try and find a union shop near you
they cost a little more an hour but they have the training and know how to do it right the first time
well there you go all right i've come back around on unions because you because you said so um
i don't get people who are out there doing shit work i don't get that at all like i had jobs i didn't
like but i always did a good job you know i remember being a bus boy in a restaurant and i had to
like mop down the hole.
They had an oyster bar, black and white tiles.
And I had to do the men and the women's room.
And, uh, oh my God.
Some nights, like, I don't even know what the fuck happened in there.
And I hated every second of it.
But the fucking place was gleaming by the time I was done with it.
And, uh, the piece of shits that I worked with me, I remember they used to look at me.
Like, dude, what the fuck is with this kid?
He actually, like, there's so many people out there that are just so,
into fucking people over that they don't even understand
just doing the right thing.
Like you're paying me to do this job,
I'm gonna do the fucking job,
and I'm gonna do it right.
Like, scumbags.
They almost look at you like when a dog
can't figure something out and they cocked their head.
They don't even get it.
It's like, why would you put all that effort in there?
What are you getting out of that?
You're already making that money an hour,
why don't you dog it?
And then figure out how to take somebody else,
like the people who are,
approach shit that way i don't i don't get that like how you could like go in there and see an old
person you know they're not working anymore you know that money is important to them and you go in and
you and you take 10 times what you need to take from them so you can do what do what go out and get
yourself a car with t tops you cunt um anyway instagram showing users local
A, there, Billy, my old chum. Instagram made an update to their app that turns on your location data by default, now revealing your geographic location if you use the app unless you go into settings and turn it off. This has caused influencers online to be posting content without them knowing their home address is being revealed to the world, causing randos to take pictures of their houses and sending it to the influencers.
people are out of their fucking minds
first of all
I don't understand why an app
can do something like that
you know
think about all the women out there
that have fucking stalkers
um
I believe mine's shut off
I'm going into it now
I don't handle this stuff
my web guy does
um
Um, yeah, this is all off. Never.
There you go. Yeah. Yeah, I don't have any of that shit on. I don't have any of that on. But, like, where does Instagram get off doing that to people? Like, what, why, why would they do that to people?
This person, if you personally use Instagram, you should change the settings before people start standing in front of your place. I appreciate this, by the way.
That being said, this is just another example of how these tech companies share your personal data
with no consideration of the negative impacts this could cause on the users.
Yeah, they don't give a fuck.
And they have enough money to buy all the politicians.
That's it.
So what it would take would be for all of us, regular people, to somehow get on the same page.
But all they would have to do is send bots at us blaming Joe Biden or Donald Trump.
and then we would just start arguing, and that would be the end of it, and nothing would get done.
That being said, this is just another example of how these tech companies share your personal data with no consideration of the negative impacts, blah, blah, blah.
They don't even bother making announcements of these updates since the app updates in the background.
Stay safe. Don't go fuck yourself. Have some frozen yogurt instead.
Oh, what a good shit. Thank you for giving me the heads up.
Yeah, it's just fucking...
Listen, we all know what we're headed towards.
If I see one more fucking commercial on TV
or something on the news
or some regular person
is just going on and on
about how amazing AI is,
this reminds me when I lived in New York
and there was a player on one of the baseball teams.
Once a year, he would do a fucking...
He would do a piece with the local news thing
about how much he fucking worked out.
and how hard he worked out and all that and guess what he got busted for doing steroids this is the same
thing with this AI shit oh my god this is a man i use his AI and it was fucking incredible blah blah
AI is here to replace you first thing it's going to do is take your job and then it's going to become a
robot and then it's going to take your life and that's what's going to happen and all we're
going to be doing while this happens is screaming about trump and joe biden that's all that people
are going to do because they're fucking mouth-breathing moron
They're fucking morons.
The fucking people that think that,
let's get the legal immigrants out
and then I can afford a house.
It's not going to happen.
Like illegal immigrants are buying up all the houses.
Like illegal immigrants are driving up the price of fucking house.
It's unreal.
Literally the guys that are fucking you over are going,
no, no, no, it's them over there.
It's them. Oh, it is.
And then you run down the fucking street.
It's unreal.
unfucking believable
literally
the person that has his
dick in your ass is going it's him over there
he's the one fucking you
oh all right
thank you piece of shit
who doesn't pay his employees
and doesn't pay his taxes
I'll listen to you
all right forced to give email
for a receipt
Bill I'll keep this short and brief
I bought a shirt at H&M
When I went to buy the shirt, I asked for receipt, and they asked for my email.
I said, no, thank you.
Thanks.
Please give me a paper receipt.
The lady informed me that the receipts are only digital now, and they would need my email.
I said, that's bullshit.
I don't have an email.
Now what?
She then said, do you have friends email?
I said, no, I don't.
We went back and forth for about one minute, and I didn't want to make the other people
waiting lines, so I just didn't take a receipt.
I think it's absolute bullshit.
they're actually forcing us to give emails for receipts.
It's only a $13 shirt, so fuck it, I guess,
but it had me so infuriated.
It should.
Just print some fucking paper.
You should look this up.
H&M can suck my dick.
Fuck them.
Exactly.
Fuck H&M.
Part of me wishes I stayed and fought longer
and forced them to address the issue with the manager,
but I just said fuck it and left with my shirt.
didn't give them my email
when I mentioned I don't want them
to have my email they said it's only
for receipt and I laughed in their face
exactly we don't share
it it's like no you don't share
it they must think
I'm retarded retarded
I don't know how to properly
express my rage or why this infuriates
me so much but it does so I'll
stop before I just ramble
on saying fuck this and fuck that
we'd love to hear your thoughts thanks
and go fuck yourself well I think a lot of
people like yourself, the reason why you have rage issues is because you would never do
some shit like that. Or maybe you grew up in a really controlling environment and the fact that
you didn't feel like you had an option made you fucking flip out. Or I'm superimposing my issues
under you. That's what I got for you. Yeah, fuck all of these people and there needs to be some
sort of pushback. I always give a fake email. I always give a fake phone number.
Yeah, do we have a phone number in our system?
And I always go, no, no, you don't.
Do you want, no, I don't want to.
Do you want to be a member of our group?
No, I don't.
I don't.
And always when I'm standing in line behind us, can I get a phone number and you're like
6-1-7, 2-1-2?
It's just like, what the fuck are you doing?
They just, you know,
you know what those people are there guard tower guard tower people you know that moron in front of you
in the line when you're being exterminated by the robots he's going to be up in the guard tower
thinking he's in with the robots and then when they're done killing all of us then they'll go up
and be like all right buddy it's your turn and he's going to be like but wait i gave you my phone number
in you go that's how that works um same thing with these illegal immigrants they start with brown people
they don't look like you, you're not fucking concerned.
And then they run out of those people.
And they still have to make money.
They still have to put people in those fucking little prisons that they have.
So then guess what?
Then it's your fucking turn.
That's how that works.
That's how that works.
I don't know, at least my limited knowledge of fucking history and control over people
and what the fuck they do.
But this is getting too deep.
This is not why you guys tune into this podcast.
All right.
Red Sox got a Monday Tuesday
A two game series against the fucking Baltimore Orioles
The last place Baltimore Orioles
I don't know what happened
They had like two or three seasons there
Where they were turning it around
I love the fucking Orioles
Eddie Murray
Rick Dempsey
Doug DeSense
That fucking crazy hillbilly
That passed away that was on the dugouts
Spelling out the name
They used to play in that old war memorial stadium
With the Baltimore Colts
Fucking amazing
Jim Palmer
Frank Tanana
The fuck else was on that team
Earl Weaver
Those great orange shirts
Oh my God
I would
Nothing can fuck with baseball uniforms
1979
Some of the highlights
Houston Astros
Pittsburgh Pirates
Baltimore Orioles
Who else had a great
fucking uniforms
A lot of them sucked in the 80s
Like the White Sox always had a boring uniform
And then that one they had like when Lamar Hoyt
Or just said socks
When Carlton Fisk was there
I never liked that uniform
I always thought that was weird
Okay let's go let's go back
Come on Bill you can do better than that
Houston Astros
Oh the fuck
fucking Milwaukee Brewers, the Seattle Mariners.
They had great uniforms.
The twins.
Oh, the fucking St. Louis Cardinals, that blue jersey?
Kansas City Royals, that nice clean uniform.
All right, that's all I got.
You know, I was looking up some shit the other night.
I was watching the Dodgers and the Padres.
Because all of a sudden, the Padres were up one game.
And then the Dodgers took them two games in a row.
Now they were up a game.
and it was talking about the Dodgers uniform
and it said that it was blue and white and red
and I was like, what the fuck is red
on the dog?
And for the life of me, I couldn't think of it.
And I put on the Dodgers game,
I'm like, oh, the fucking number is red.
How have I never noticed that?
I mean, I see it all the time.
I just never noticed it.
You know, Bill, you could have ended the fucking podcast
instead of just, you know what else I never noticed?
All right, that's the podcast.
go fuck yourselves give out fake emails fake phone numbers just you know uh you can't fight this
shit but you can have fun with it just take surveys give all bogus information like i think that
that's the only way to combat this is we just all give bogus information and there'll be so much
misinformation out there about all of us that you know the value of tracking nah that's still not
going to have this they're going to they'll track us even more um anyway and it's all god's fault
because he makes selfish people he makes fucking sociopaths and he makes narcissists and um
you know there's like bacteria in your gut your whole life there's the bacteria in your gut
that's going to activate when you die so you can decompose it's just sitting there waiting for that
to happen um i think that the human version of that is narcissists and sociopaths
And if you believe in God, he put them in the human race to end the human race eventually because God gets bored with shit.
And then he moves on to something else.
He had a good time with the dinosaurs, done with that, moves on to human beings.
He's about done with us.
And then they'll be the fucking next thing.
That's how it works.
Remember there was Friendster, then there was Myspace, then Instagram, and it just kept going.
Same thing with creation.
It's just a theory.
All right, that's it.
Go fuck yourselves.
I'll talk to you on Thursday.
Thank you.