Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast

Episode Date: March 22, 2019

Bill sits down with Les Claypool to talk about his new project, The Claypool Lennon Delirium.

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Are you ready? All right. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast and I'm not checking in on you this week. Usually I check in on you to see how you weeks going but occasionally I'll have a guest on at which point I'm talking to them and hopefully this fills up your ride home.

I am with the one and only the legend from the San Francisco area from Primus, Mr. Les Claypool. How are you, sir? I am well. I'm fantastic. You just got over. You literally just landed and you came right over here, which is you're just a hardest working man.

I'm a jet setter as they say. Yeah. It's like an Irish setter in a jet. How was your Southwest, I'm going to guess, flight down? No, I took one of the, I've never done this before. I took a, it's called, I think it's called Jet Suite. Oh, that's one of those app jet things. Yeah, I don't know.

My guy out there set it up. I've never done such a thing. Was it? No, here's a big question that everyone's going to want to know. Did you have to go through any sort of security? Do you just walk on the fucker? I walked on the fucker. Big box like Bugs Bunny's security.

I got there earlier than I needed to get, which was like 45 minutes and I sat in a little lounge and I ate some beef jerky, which I have some beef jerky if you would care for some beef jerky. You know what? I think I'm going to pass. I just had a bunch of shit food that I shouldn't eat in the, in the, in the goddamn lounge area here. I should have gone beef jerky.

If I could have held out, I could have had a nice protein. You could have had a nice Jim Beam, you know, convenience store pack of, pack of jerky. But I hopped right on the plane. It was, wasn't anything fancy. It's not like it's a fancy thing. It's just a convenient, you know, you don't have to. It just looks like a plane, but you can't, it looks like a fancy plane, but inside it looks like a regular plane with, you know, you know, sort of cramped seats and all that.

But it was, it was cool. I enjoyed the notion of not having to be scrutinized by, by a guy and, and take my shoes off and all that. Right. So that all part is perfect. But do they do any sort of screening like, how do they know you're cool? Ah, I don't, I don't think they ever, I don't think they ever, that was, I don't think that was ever a concern, but I was cool.

I'm just saying, like if I'm a terrorist, not the Fonsi airline, no, no, no, I mean, as far as like, I don't mean literally cool. I mean, as far as like the reason why we all go through the security. So now you have this thing that's just generally, if you have the cash and you can download a fucking app, you can just get on this damn plane. I'm assuming it's, it's, it was my, it was my virgin run. So I'm, Did you, was there any, was there any of that, any of that concern as you got on there?

Did you do a quick turnaround to see if, uh, it's just trucker hats? Uh, I did not, but there was, there was a woman that came walking in and I'm assuming she had some form of enhanced buttocks. Like, oh, whether it's the pants that have the padding in it, or she had some sort of surgical, Ascent plant. Yes. Because it just, it, what didn't look like,

It doesn't move. It didn't look like reality. It doesn't move. Like first of all, the legs move, the ass doesn't. And then on top of that is the legs don't match the ass. Yeah. It looked like it. It looked like something when you were a kid, you would draw, you know,

Funhouse mirror. It didn't, it didn't look like real. It didn't look like reality. I'm just going to leave it at that. Right. So that was the only thing I noticed. There could have been a bomb smuggled in that form of fashion. That was the only thing I saw that seemed irregular.

Did you shame her? No. No. How would I, how would I shame her? That's what I would do. What would you do? I'd be like, you think you're fooling anybody with that fake ass? Could somebody please make sure?

What'd you really? No. What I would do is I would be, I would be a coward about it is I wouldn't say anything. I would snicker to myself and I would talk about it on my podcast and my standup. Okay. Well there you go. I'm the cowardly lion. I'm the cowardly comedian.

Cowardly comedian. I like it. That's exactly what I am. Good. So I know you're a busy man and you, you don't have time to just be flying around and just sitting down talking to some fucking middle act here who shames people with fake asses. There is a reason you are a man on a mission here. I'm a man on a mission.

What's my mission? I'm just curious. You're here to promote things as, as most people who are very artistically inclined. Yeah. I started asking you about your new album that you did with Sean Lennon called the monolith of, I would say faux. The monolith of Phobos. Phobos.

That was an old album. That was our first album. That's your first one. So this new Lime in the Limpid. Well, that's our, that was our, an EP we did. The new album is, is, is, is different. The new album's called South of Reality. I literally, before we turned it on, I asked you, what is your new album?

No, you said what were your previous albums? Oh, did I say that? Jesus Christ. All right. What's it called? It's called South of Reality. South of Reality. Yes.

Okay. This is a nod to Slayer. It's South of Heaven. So your South of Reality sort of. I didn't realize that we were nodding Slayer, but I do enjoy nodding Slayer on occasion. I have to say this album, I've never had such a difficult time naming nor coming up with the artwork for an album as we did. Is that something that in the past has just come easy for you?

Yeah. They usually just, you know, pork soda. Oh, that's got to be an album type. You know, these things just frizzle fry. They just kind of. But this one, you know, perhaps it's because of the, you know, both Sean and I are very opinionated, but we just never, we never could come up with a title that really set the tone or the artwork as well.

It took a long time, but you haven't got the artwork here. But it's, it's actually, it's one of the best album covers that I've been a part of. I have to look it up now. No, very cool. You know what you're reminding me when you just said your pork soda, like something, that's got to be an album title. Yes. That reminds me of David Tell.

David Tell will call, will text me with like the most brilliant joke that no one could think of other than him. And it'll be like, do you have a joke like this? And it's like, no, Dave, nobody has a joke like that. It's like, why would you like pork soda? Who comes up with that? Maybe, maybe Beck, Beck had some new pollution and stuff like that. Like Jeff Beck?

No. The other Beck. Yeah, I know. The rapper. Hey, so is that what comedians do? They call each other and say, do you have a joke? If you're concerned, if you're concerned of like sometimes, I don't know, you ever written a song, just came too simple and you're just like, did I hear this in a fucking elevator

or something? It's the same thing with like. That's pretty much every Primus song. Oh, look at that. You got it up there on the screen. This is the modern technology. Okay. South of reality.

All right. Let's go through this. You know, this is not a visual medium here for people. So what am I looking at that appears to be some sort of insect does not appear to be on this planet, but he definitely seems to be dealing with some sort of global warming issue here. That looks like he's at the polar ice caps and it's melting. He's got sneakers on.

I like that. And he's looking into some sort of like your interpretation of compact. Yes, he's putting on taking the shine off his nose. That would be a flee. It's supposed to be a flee. Okay. Because we have a song called like fleas. And so the flee made that made the cut.

Basically, what happened was we were bouncing artwork off each other. Sean's an artist. I'm an artist. We work with a bunch of different artists. And Sean did the drawings for the, for the, for the first album. And we somehow the notion came about of let's, let's find an artist to do something like one of those old sci-fi paperbacks from 60s and 70s. Oh, okay.

And I stumbled across this piece of art and we couldn't find the artist and we looked and looked and finally found this guy and he's this Japanese fellow that Sean ended up knowing about. And he used to do Omni magazine covers and whatnot. And, and he after my brother used to read many renditions. He came up with this. So there it is. Now, how does that connect with the music?

I guess I have to listen to the album. Like this looks like some old school stuff where you just do like that kind of drug that makes you happy. You know, none of that crazy stuff that makes you think he can fly. And sometimes I haven't done a lot of things. I'm thinking you can fly kind of makes you happy, don't you think? The notion of the notion of flight. Oh, do I get that out of the fleet?

This right here is why I don't go to museums because it just makes me feel dumb. I just like there's no scoreboard there. I can't tell what's going on. And then I just, it just ends up making me feel dumb. I think if you listen to the record, you'll get a notion as to what some of this stuff is like fleas is the closing song, which is a song like fleet, the line is like fleas on the back. Eventually we'll be shaken off, which is the notion that parasitic man and eventually,

you know, mother nature is trying to kick us off the off the planet because we're just screwing everything up. And so Sean said, we're like fleas on the back of a dog. So it was a water will rise up. It was a moment where, you know, I had this lyric and and I read it to him and he said, oh, well, we're like fleas on the back of a dog. And then that became another portion that became the chorus. Oh, that's cool.

That's where the Claypool Lennon lyrical cooperative comes into play. I was thinking yesterday I was out in Santa Monica and I just looked at the ocean. How big it was. It's just like it's coming for us. Oh, it's coming. Would you say that you are addicted to touring? No, because every time I see you, if you're not making an album bank account is addicted to touring.

Oh, is that what it is? I got a kid in college, man. You got a kid in college. What was that? Did you get into school legit? Or did you pull that show biz stuff that happened? I don't know if there's a bit of a scandal down here. You know how many cocks I had to suck to get into college?

Well, he got in legit. We're not dealing with chimps here. I wasn't sure if you photoshopped his head on to like a... What were you saying? People... Oh, you're talking about the latest thing where people are paying? Yeah. So there was a...

Yeah, I mean, I... I mean, I... There was some Hollywood celebrities that got in trouble. They were photoshopping their non-athletic kids' head on top of like some sort of roided-up guy. And then the football coach would be in on it, being like, hey, is it great? New... They think of a white kid.

Put it on some Samoan kid's body torso or something. The next thing, you know, he's the starting linebacker, allegedly, potential for the USC Trojans. See, I should have done that, because, you know, I don't know. He's going to an art college, so there's no sports whatsoever there, but just the notion that we could have applied that element to it. You could have taken one of Salvador Dali weird mustaches in the beard thing and just photoshopped it onto his face, and they'd be like, well, look how creative this kid is.

Yeah, look, he's trying to get in on a sports scholarship to a school that has no sports. No, he's an artist. He's going to Laguna College of Art and Design. He's learning to make video games. He's been in games. He's learning to make video games. He's been into it since he was like 14. He's been taking courses in the summertime at Cal and Stanford and whatnot.

He's all about it. That's his whole world. Oh, so you're out here hustling. Look at you being a great dad. Making sure his dream comes true. I'm a good dad. You are. There you go.

One of my better accomplishments. I wasn't sure how you were going to take the compliment. A lot of people can't take compliments. I'll take that compliment. I take pride in what I've done with my kids. I'm a good god damn father. I'm a damn good father. I only put three cigarettes out on their foreheads.

You've got to make a statement. You've got to let them know who's in charge. You've got to set those parameters. You set the tone. We're going to be seeing the tour bus. You can do it on a run right now. You're doing some dates. We're just promoting the album.

I was just told to come down here and talk to Billington Von Beringham. I have friends down here. I just kind of popped down here. I'm just going to say hi. Okay. But I know we have a record and we're getting ready to go on tour. The record's new. We did Colbert last week, week before.

We're out there. We'll see you slumming it today. We're out there starting to shake hands and kiss babies and all that. So the press tour is starting to wind down now that you're starting to do podcasts. I think it's all winding up. I think this is the beginning. We're about to start touring. The thing is, this year was supposed to be mellow because last year was a big primus

year. We did the longest tour I've ever done. I saw you guys. I saw you in Austin. It was incredible. Austin. At Austin City Limits. I absolutely love that show.

Three times in my life, I was supposed to see you and some BS came up in my business and I wasn't able to go. Three fucking times. Finally, our paths crossed on the road and I was able to see you guys in Austin. I performed some dump the night before and then I went to the beautiful place you guys were at and I got to see the show and it was absolutely incredible. Like the way you, I don't know, all the stuff that you do, the way you put together the music with the visual, it's just a whole experience that makes me wish I tried psychedelics at

some point in my life. So you've never tried psychedelics at any point in your life? No. I've always been like a late bloomer. So I figure I'll try. You didn't do the thing with your cousins where you'd hold your breath, hyperventilate and then they'd squeeze you until you pass out and smack your head on the ground and none of that stuff.

No, I did see some kids at school. There was this big thing. Like we didn't understand how the body works. So there was, we thought this was amazing that basically what's, you'd sit there and someone would grab both your jugulars, either side of your neck and just squeeze them. Holy mackerel. Yeah. And kids would just fall in over.

Where'd you grow up? The suburbs of Boston. It was the 80s. Like there wasn't a lot of information out there. That didn't come to my neighborhood. Yeah. So you went straight to methamphetamine. Oh, you did?

Well, I didn't, but you went to, oh yeah, I figure I tried weed for the first time when I was like almost 40. So I figured I'll try. I remember saying I get it when I finally got high. I was like, oh, I get it. I get it. But it's not something you partake in. I think the way that I'm wired booze is I should probably smoke weed because I'm probably

too wound up, but I relate to booze, like how it makes you feel. And also I feel like there's, there's a trajectory to it that I understand. Like I had one beer. Here I am. Okay. Now I've had two in this amount of time. And now we, now we go up to the second floor where that shit, it's just like you do it and like nothing happens until it does.

And then it's just like someone dropped a fucking piano on your head, depending on the potency of it. Yes. And then you start falling and it's just like, how deep is this fucking hole where with drinking you can kind of be like, oh, okay, I've seen people go into the hole on the drinking too. You can do that. You can listen. I'm not trying to get it in the way of anybody's fun here.

I'm just saying the way I'm wired where I, I with drinking, I can see the staircase down to the basement where with like psychedelics, I feel like I can maybe see, I would think anyway. Like, I never done psychedelics was some fucking weed though. I've ate weed a couple of times and never eat weed. That's, that's, that's the worst. I mean, I've, I saw the last time I ate weed, I saw the light. I saw the light the whole bit and I literally said, don't go into the light.

You have kids. It wasn't like kids were little and I, how many, how many milligrams was it? I have no idea. I was, I didn't even want it. We were in a van touring the, the, the East coast with one of my little bands and a couple of the guys, somebody had given us some. Claypool's bucket of Bernie brains. It was the Frog Brigade and, and Jaseky, who's just a, just a, a human bong was eating all

these brownies him and a couple of the other guys and I was just hungry. We were driving to the hotel late at night and I was like, all right, I got, he's like, man, these things are a hell of a week. And I was like, all right, let me have one. I'm just going to eat it because I'm hungry. And by the time we got to the hotel, I could barely move and it was intense. Yeah. I thought the first time I ever ate weed was like that.

I, my girlfriend at the time brought over a tray of brownies that a roommate had made and they were probably about the size of like a bathroom tile, you know, big square things. Right. So she eats half a one. I go, well, how much should I eat? She goes, well, you're bigger than me. You should eat a whole one. So I ate a whole one and then we're sitting there and looking back, I was getting high,

but I didn't, it was coming on slow. So I didn't feel like I felt anything. She goes, and we were going out. She goes, well, you're bigger. Why don't you have another one? Yes. So I had another one. The slippery slope.

I still didn't feel anything. And then as we walked out the door, I ate her other half. So I had two and a half, then got in a car and went to Newark airport because we were going to Costa Rica and it hit me right at the fucking airport. And it was one of the, uh, at first it was hilarious. And then the paranoia came in and by the time I got onto the plane, I just wanted to stand up and admit everything and just fucking get it over with. But, um, probably for like a 12 hour period, it seemed, I felt like, you know, when your

foot falls asleep really bad, I felt like there was a ball of that sitting on my head. And I remember thinking, oh, people say I got baked. I got fried. And I was thinking, I'm literally frying my brain right now. And I, I didn't enjoy it for like two days. I was like weed hungover. And that was the end of that. No, it's making, it's actually making me nauseous, just hearing the story because I know that

feeling. Yeah. I don't eat weed. I just remember there was a big pot smoker for many, many years, but I just don't like smoke. I don't like putting smoke into my lungs. It's a ball game. You're a wise man.

Yeah. I'm kind of, yeah, but then I smoke cigars every 10 days or so. What? Every 10 days. I tried to, yeah, every weekend I have. I have one. I don't know. Red Arrow back loop for a long time.

He used to smoke them every time they won a game. He won a lot of games. He lived a lot of years. How did you end up meeting up with Sean Lennon? Does he have any sort of musical background, by the way? Not much. I think his dad was a transmission mechanic. Oh, that was my dad.

Sorry. His band, Ghost of a Sabertooth Tiger, opened for Primus on a tour we were doing with Dinosaur Jr. and we just hit it off. Actually, he and my son hit it off right away because my son's like one of these guys that just absorbs random bits of knowledge and then regurgitates them to people to get these conversations. Where did he get that from? I wonder.

This is way more. This is way more. He gets into all this nerdy stuff. And Sean's the same way. Sean's like Encyclopedia Brown. It's unbelievable. You can get him going on just about anything. And so they're just sitting there talking about the cosmos or talking about whatever.

So then this was on one of the tours and Sean and I hit it off and we just kind of started jamming one day. And then we have this little dobro bass that I carry around and fiddle around with backstage. What is that? It just looks, you know what a dobro guitar looks like with a resonator with a big, it's like an acoustic guitar, but it has a big chrome resonator in the middle of it. And they tend to sound a little more metallic and I have a bass that's like that. So I was twanging away on it and he comes over with his acoustic and we start twanging

and I started realizing, wow, this guy's playing, he's not playing just predictable counterparts to what I was doing or playing along with me. He was playing some very interesting stuff and we just made a habit of it, just kind of getting together and jamming. And I said, hey, why don't you come out to Rancho Relaxo at my place and see what we can come up with. Rancho Relaxo. And we did.

How does that work? I've always been fascinated because I'm such a huge music fan and was not given the gift, unfortunately, or fortunately. I've seen you play drums. I know, but I mean, yeah, it's like dad rock. You know what I mean? If you give me all the answers to the test. ACVC is like the mainstay of the Australian economy because they're dad rockers, you

know? Yeah, I'm just saying, one time I ever jammed with somebody and they actually had their own riffs and then I had to do what you were just saying Sean was doing and there was no answer to the test. It's like, hey Bill, you know, because before I was just, oh, John Bonham played this. Just fucking work on this till I can play it, which of course I never was able to, but I could fake it. But this one I actually got together with somebody like, hey, here's my creative ideas.

What can you creatively add to this? I just kept playing the same beat. I think my face literally turned red. I was so I was like, wow, I knew I sucked. I didn't realize I sucked this bad. So that fascinates me that you got together with Sean and what he was playing caught your ear. Like, oh, what is this guy saying?

How did how did you learn how to like free yourself up? Like, at what point did you feel like you like, hey, if I'm in this mood. So now when I pick up my bass, I can play the mood that I'm in. Like I feel like great musicians. You guys are literally just like talking with the instrument. So like the way I can be like, you know, how was your day? Oh man, fucking sucked, but I'm down here and this is my tone. You guys can do that with your instruments.

Like how do you learn how to fucking do that blows my mind? Well, I mean, I've always, I have said for a long time, you know, playing. Music, it's a, it's a conversation and interacting with jamming with other musicians. You're having a conversation. Some musicians are really great at reading a speech, you know, or classical musicians that can only read the written page. I've had people come into the studio and violinists or whatever say, hey, you know, jam on this. What, what do you mean?

You know, where's the written page? Yes. And I would assume it's very similar to what you're doing, you know, you can go out on stage and just tell the jokes that are on the page or you can tell the jokes on the page and throw in a little zippity-doo in between or take off on a tangent or full straight improv. I'm sure you've done all those things. It is, it is the same, but the thing about what fascinates me is with, with stand up.

Okay. It's like, uh, all I'm doing is talking. So you come, you know, from the beginning, mama, dad, dad, you start talking and everybody like right as right now, just talking, you're just listening to me and then you're reacting to it. So you already know how to do that. As a com, a comedian, all I have to do is make that leap to, uh, you know, making it funny.

And then of course, you know, blocking out the fact that there's a bunch of people staring you, which is the weirdest thing ever. Yeah. But see, you're, see now you're saying things that to me are, are frightening, you know, and I've always been fascinated with stand up comics because the notion of going out and, and doing a bit over and over, um, you and I talked about this a little bit once you said, well, I can, I move it around. I am probably do this and I get that, but I can go out and stand in front of tens of

thousands of people, hundreds of thousands of people, um, with, is if I got a base in front of me, you know, I got my base, I can do it, you know, but going out there without that thing, I would buy, you know, I, I, I don't know if I could do it, you know, but maybe. Well, maybe that's what it is. Maybe you just, I don't know. I just, I just think that that's the most fascinating thing ever that like, um, because I had appeared in my stand up where I was literally, I would just memorize my jokes

and went up and did my jokes. And then occasionally I would try a new one and was this big fucking moment. Like, okay. How was that for you? Here's that new jokes. Terrifying. Yeah. Terrifying.

How was it received? Oh, most time in the beginning of it. It didn't do well. And then I would get panicked, which would make my brain go blank and then I couldn't remember my act and then dry mouth and then it just would all go to shit. But like, I would just by continuing to bomb, like if for musicians who are listening to this, how did you keep going after that continuing to bomb? That's, that to me, that's the big hurdle right there.

Uh, I don't know who said it first, but the, uh, this is the best way to put it. Like, uh, the comics, for the most part, that do make it or whatever, or become prose, uh, quitting. It never dawns on you to quit because that's what makes sense. It would make sense that if you felt that horrible feeling, you would be like, I don't ever want to do this again, which is what you feel as a comedian, but if you're a comedian as a person, you feel, but as a comedian, you, you don't think, um, you think, I don't, I'm still going to go and do this.

I just don't want that to happen again. And then that's, that's the thing that makes you nervous and makes you live on stage of like, fuck, is that thing going to happen tonight? What is there that element of, okay, I dusted, I dusted, wait a minute, I just got a great seven iron shot. You know what I mean? Is there that? Oh, absolutely.

Absolutely. There is. That's, that's what it is. It's that getting, uh, getting a laugh, uh, yeah. I mean, you literally, in the beginning, you're just living laugh to laugh. I remember that one guy in the crowd, that one guy, I heard him laugh or that comic who's actually a pro said, Hey, good job or good stuff. And how soon into, into this, did you get, did you get that?

The first time I really got a good one was there was a comic, uh, Mike McDonald and it's not the guy, uh, rest his soul just passed away in Canada. It was, uh, out of the Boston scene and I was in this comedy competition, the big radio station WBCM, which I'm sure promoted, uh, selling the seas way back when, um, and, uh, they used to have this, this thing called the WBCN, uh, comedy riot. And it was at Stitch's comedy club and it was to try and find, you know, the best up and coming Boston, uh, comic. I mean, there's a scene was just, I mean, I came at the tail end, I missed it, but it

started in the 80s that BCN would do that. And it was just like, it was fucking insane if you, if you won that thing. And then of course it was the curse of the riot if you made it or whatever. So anyways in 19, um, 93, the last year of it and Stitch's clothes, like the week after it and I, uh, I was, um, I entered the contest and, um, the night, my night, it's like, if you won your night, then you went to the finals. So there was like a qualifying and then you had your night. So the night this guy, Mike McDonald was hosting it, I went up and did my bullshit and I went

over and went well and I sat down at the bar, I was still working at the dental office with my dad and, uh, he came off stage and he walked over to me and he just goes, uh, he just, he just looked at me dead serious. So I typical pro comic didn't laugh at all or anything. Just looked at me and he goes, look, he goes, uh, I don't know what you're doing, but keep doing it. And that's all he said. That's all I remember him saying.

And I remember being like, wow, I saw that guy on fucking MTV and he's hosting the riot. It was the biggest thing ever. And then that was a thing over the next year and a half of sometimes doing okay, sometimes having a moment of killing. And then most of the times bombing, that was just something that I hung onto. That guy, Mike McDonald said, I don't know what you're doing, but keep doing it. So if you hadn't got that, that little nugget, yeah, that's the thing that scares you. Cause I was thinking the other day, I remember that, you know, being an entertainer, we,

we work on those nights when everybody stays home. So it's kind of cool during the week when they have to fucking go to work and shit, but then all of a sudden, you know, the holidays come around and all that and everybody's gathering around eating fucking, drinking eggnog and having the Norman Rockwell scene and you got to grab your gear. I got to fucking put on my stupid sport coat to go do a, do a show. I remember the first time having that feeling was football season and, you know, still living back in Massachusetts.

And this is back when you actually had a fall before it just went from January to July. This kind of seems like the weather now. And it was just that perfect, crisp, cold football weather. I was still living at home, you know, just got out of college and my parents are making a great meal. They had some friends over and we were watching a, I think BC was playing Notre Dame and it was this big thing, two Catholic schools and both teams were ranked and it was going to be great.

And I had a fucking show and I had to go down to Rhode Island to go down to some fucking bar that wasn't a comedy club. I knew it was going to be a hell gig. And I remember saying to my older brother being like, yeah, man, I don't, I don't know, man. I don't, I don't think I want to go to this and blah, blah, blah. What do you think? We think it would be bad if I just didn't get, and I was booked on the show.

I was going to like cancel it and thank God he just sat there and he listened. He's like, I don't know, man, I think you should go, you should go. And I went and I remember it sucked going out, getting into my piece of shit. I was old fucking Ford truck and I got into it. And then once I got on the highway, it just started making sense like, yeah, yeah, what the fuck was I thinking? What else do I have? I suck at everything.

I was terrible in school. This is the only thing I want. Why did, you know, it was just my first experience. I was, I was sort of just like, I don't know, I'd never lived on my own or anything was sort of me having to kick my brother, helping me kick me out of the nest a little bit and I went down there. And so those are two things I think about a lot. If that wasn't a good show.

No, yeah, older brother, younger brother, older, but no, it wasn't a good show. It was a, I did okay. I think I did okay, but no, none of them were good shows in the beginning. It was, it was, it was surviving. It was all it was. Like my first like year and a half, like very rare would there be like open mics in an actual comedy club. It was mostly a lot of, you know, Boston area was a lot of Chinese restaurants, sports bars

where they turned down the sound of the fucking Bruins game, but they would leave it on. These are performed at the, the 99s and restaurant in Bellrica, Massachusetts and, you know, I'd spaghetti Freddy's they had a basement. I've played like some shitty places, but I still, I've listened to what you're saying and I go, man, that's, that's, those are just some big ass hurdles for me that I'm not sure I would have been able to, to go in and play in spaghetti eddies or Chinese restaurants or whatever. Question two, I was going to ask you because I heard you say, oh, the Dennis off that you

worked with your dad at the Dennis office. Yeah. Um, so how supportive was he and your family to what you were pursuing? Totally, totally supportive. Like my parents are really cool where, you know, they did what they did and they didn't pressure anybody to, they definitely stressed the college education, but there was just like, like everyone in my family does something completely different. Um, so you just, I don't know, it's just weird.

My family's weird. It's really like loving, but everybody's a total loner. So it's like love is like implied, but it's definitely there. If you look at it, it looked like the Brady bunch, but there was all kinds of, you know, like most families had a lot of things going on there, but the, uh, the, the thing that I, I, you know, as you become a parent, I think what you do is you're like, you look at all the great stuff your parents did, you're like, I'm keeping all that. Then there'll be like two or three things that you'd like to adjust.

But one of the things that I am definitely going to keep is, um, that thing that my parents didn't judge me that I, I wanted to get out of going to a regular college, go to more of a performance school that I started doing radio that I got into stand up and they were totally 100% supportive. They never thought in a, never said anything of like, well, Jesus Christ, what if you don't make it? You're going to be fucking destitute, um, which was a period in my thirties that I had to deal with when I didn't have any representation or, you know, sleep it on a fucking futon.

But they never gave it to you. Hey, you know, it's, you've been working hard at this, but you might want to, you know, hey, they're looking for a salesman over at the Chevy dealership. No, you know, it was a dick, the, uh, our butcher, he was an asshole when he just found out that he, and my mother was all proud going like, yeah, he's over at Emerson college and he's majoring in communication. He might have a career in radio and he's waiting for my mother to say, he goes, I don't know. Everybody wants to be the staff.

Like that's what he said. And I remember looking at him and his bloody fucking apron, he would, you were standing there when he said, yeah, I was just like, you fuck this guy, fucking cutting up pork. God bless him. Cutting up the pork chops and shit. But like the fuck. And we never even had a butcher. Yeah.

You gotta have a butcher. We didn't have a butcher. You just go to this store and there'd be, there would be some cellophane in the way you went. All right. Well, here's my thing. But the, but the great thing was, was all I had to deal with was me. I didn't have to figure out how to get along with three, four of the fucking people and

getting a van and deal with somebody's foot odor. And I found with group traveling, that's where the weed comes in. That's where, cause I was not a pot smoker prior to getting in that van with this foot odor and the hippies. Right. It was, I'm serious. I smoked some dope in high school. In fact, well, that's a different story, but tell it, my dad, my dad was like, we've

always gotten along very well, but my dad was very young when I was born. He was 19. And my dad was like the fawns. He was like a cross between the fawns and Dennis Weaver, you know, and, but he was not, he was married. He used to brag that when he was 19, he had a mortgage payment, a car payment, a payment on a washer and dryer. He was a transmission mechanic and he had a wife and a baby boy at 19.

So needless to say, he was not the type of guy that in whatever year that was, was running around smoking dope or any of that stuff. He wanted, he wanted to beat up those guys. So, so when they found the tiniest little speck of weed in this film container in my bedroom when I was in high school, I got a lot of trouble for that. In fact, he called the cops on me. He did it to scare me. He called the local guy that he knew and it scared the shit out of me.

And that weed was actually sold to me by Kirk Hammett, by the way. But no way. Yeah. We went to high school together. He used to smell, sell me weed, but I was not like a big weed smoker. I just kind of smoked to hang and be cool and all the musicians, you know, but I didn't really enjoy it because it was very similar to you. I was a, you know, I was a tall skinny guy and it wouldn't, it would hit me and just,

you know, I couldn't control my brain. I didn't like it so much. So it wasn't until I crawled in that van in my early twenties with all these dudes and we start driving across the country and the joint comes passing by me and Pink Floyd Animals is on the stereo that I went, okay, I'll have some of that. And it made the road so much sweeter. And I became a pot smoker after that for many, many years for decades. I got to ask you a question.

Where are these fucking high schools? How is it musicians? Like you listen to guns and roses. It's like, oh, Slash went to high school with Steven Adler. He listened to the Chili Peppers and it's just like Flea went to school with a blanket on this lead singer's name, Anthony, right? They just like, like a whole fucking band is just like, like there's kids walking around like being like, oh yeah, the, the bass player from, from Primus was in my IPS class and the

guitarist from Metallica, I took Jim with him. Like where the fuck are these high schools? Well, I mean, I grew up in, in an area, I was born in Richmond, Panol, El Sobrante, which is northeast Bay, San Francisco area. And basically it's all, it's all blue collar. You know, where I went to school, you said, you would say, you're taking the test? I'm, I'm taking the test. Are you, I'm not, well, I'm going to take the test or are you going to take this?

Well, I took the test. And the test was to see what job you were going to get at Standard Oil. You know, Larry Lalonde from Primus took the test and he did very well, but he said, screw that. And he went off and played death metal in a band called Possessed. But that's, that's where we grew up. And so I don't know, I mean, Kirk was in my, my algebra class with Mr. Kelly and Kirk had, you know, he had this dirty white t-shirts and big thick pop bottle glasses and he sat

behind me just divvying up dime bags and looking at guitar magazines. And so I remember, because I would always be singing these songs and he said, hey, Clay Poo, hey man, you want to come sing for my band? And I was too bashful to sing because I can barely sing now. But so when it came down to it, I couldn't do it. But then I met this other guy who needed a bass player. And so I begged and pleaded my dad, hey, let me, because we had no money. So let me, I knew a guy who has a bass for $30.

Let me, let me buy it and let me some money. And he said, well, if we're going to do this, let's do this right. Let's go see Al over at Al's Music. I love that there wasn't the guitar centers back then. Yeah. Well, I mean, there was, but they were not where we lived. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

It's just more like local play. We used to go to Norfolk County Music. Yeah. So we went to Al's Music and bought a Fender, a Memphis P-Bass copy, copy of a Fender P-Bass. And you know, Al's going to give us a good deal and I'm not sure Al gave my dad a great deal, but I ended up, I had this bass and I had to pull weeds all summer and work for people and what not to pay off this bass, but I was instantly in a band, but That was the thing.

If you were a bass player, it was easy to get into a band. Everybody wanted to be Eddie Van Halen. Nobody wanted to play the bass. So it was like, hey, I thought it only had four strings. I figured it'd be easier. And I was instantly in a band and away I went. But Kirk, he was, he also had this band called Exodus, which went on to be Exodus, one of the premier metal bands of the world.

After he left Metallica, I mean, after he left Exodus to doing Metallica, but we just had a good little music community where we were, we'd all get together and jam at Kegers and whatnot. And that's just what you did. That's, that's, I don't know, but I came from more of a jock town. So none of that stuff existed and we weren't, we weren't, we were not jocks. As soon as I, you know, I used to play a little baseball, some basketball, but as soon as I picked up that bass, I stopped, I didn't want any of that stuff touching my hands.

My hands became precious, but then I was a carpenter for, you know, eight years beating the hell out of my hands. So how did you develop that? How did you develop, because nobody plays like you. So who did you listen to that you, were you actually, I feel like you, if I had to guess, were you listening to a lot of non bass players to get your ideas? I was listening to pretty much everything, but when I first started, it was guys, it was definitely Geddy Lee and Chris Guire and John Paul Jones and people like that.

And then I got turned on to the Larry Grahams and the Stanley Clarks and the Louis Johnson's, you know, remember Don Kirschner's rock concert? Do you remember that? The name I know, but that was a little before my time. There was no MTV. So late night there would be, there was the midnight special, I think it was called and Don Kirschner's rock concert. And that's what you'd see.

I've watched those on YouTube. Like I discovered those like when YouTube came out, I was able to go back and watch the, I remember seeing a cheap trick on Don Kirschner's and seeing the brothers, Johnson and there's Louis Johnson going, oh my God, what the hell is that? So here's the question. How the fuck did you figure out how to do that? Because these kids nowadays, that you can just look up basically any song and somebody will break down how to play it.

And sometimes it's actually the guy who literally played it. Like nowadays it'd be like fucking John Bonham. Hey, this is how I play that quick little triplet thing. You want to do this? And Bob, good luck, mate, whatever. But these bastards have it so much easier now. No, we just, I know, and they're monsters. You had to sit and just figure it out or go see concerts, which I didn't have any money.

So it was hard for me to even go see concerts, but just playing, just kind of that's why my style is the way it is, because it's it's it's there's no conventional element to it. Besides, I joined jazz band right around then. And my my music teacher was shocked to find out that I didn't know how to read music. So he gave me this crash course on reading music and I just was in the jazz band. So that was the only real theory I ever. You still know how to read music, but just barely, just barely. Yeah, you don't really, I mean, here's as good as they are.

You don't really need to, do you? I mean, unless you're like a session guy, right? And not too many people are reading music these days, unless you're unless you're in an orchestra or something like that, like a hipster thing to do in the music world. What, read music? You know, they always do all the throwback shit. You don't I mean, I have no clue. I mean, I would love to.

I wish my reading chops were better, but I there's other things I'd rather do at this point than polish my reading. Well, that's right, because you have your new album to catch south of reality. And that's a flea on the cover to actually learn what a flea look like. I never knew there was some little thing jumping off of my dog with the great Sean Lennon and you guys are going to be touring. Is it going to be a U.S. tour? You're starting here in the U.S. going up to Canada.

What are you doing? Yeah, we're doing I think we're doing three or four tours this summer. So we're we're starting in a couple of weeks going around the states. And then we go out with Jim James and then we go out with the flaming lips. So that's awesome. By the way, before we wrap this up here, I love your bus. By the way, Honda. Oh, my God. You have you bought like one of those old school, like Greyhound looking buses

that has like the roof and then it goes up and there's like the windows. Is that what it was? Or is it straight across? Straight across. It is. It's a prevo. It's a prevo prevo prevo, as they say in France. And what year is it? It's an eighty seven.

Yeah, I knew it was an old school. Yeah, it's it's older than I was. My wife said a handful of years ago, hey, when I'm letting you know, once the kids move out, I'm coming on the road with you. And I said, all right, well, if you come on the road, you're going to be selling some booze because we have a boutique wine label. What's the name of a purple packet of claypool sellers. But we make it's very nice peanut like.

So I would have brought you some. For some reason, I didn't think you drank because you always catch me. I'm on the wagon. I'm taking this year off. I, you know, the problem what I did with booze was I brought it into my house. I let the devil in the house because my thing is if it's there, it's just like a gown ice cream. There's a gown ice cream. I'm going to fucking eat it. And as a bottle of booze, I'm going to finish it.

And then the same way if I eat fast food, then I crave fast food. If I'm drinking booze, I just sort of crave it. But so I just kind of got out of my house and going to take the I want to be that. I want to be that guy that has a glass of wine with it, with the, with the meal. I was like, oh, that was great. That that was a nice accoutrement, accoutrement, accoutrement to my meal. And then if you come to my house, I have a, I have a lot of ice cream. I have amazing, amazing wine. No, but that's another thing though, or it's an event.

It's the same thing with cigars. I got them out of the house because I started smoking Cubans. So you do go in the full book because I went through a big cigar phase many, many years. Yes. So I'm a humidor full of them. They're like 22 years old or something. My thing about them is I find that with Cubans is so many of them, they're wrapped so fucking tight that, you know, like when you had like a,

like when you were a kid and you had like a shake or malt or something like that. And you had to like almost suck your brain out of the back of your head just to get it to come. I feel like malt. Yeah. So it's like, you know, there's not, doesn't have a lot of them don't have a good draw. It's a pain in the ass. And there's, there's some, um, ones that I like more Dominican or Nicaraguan cigars that I'm enjoying and they're, they're not wrapped, you know, balled up like a fist. I still, but there's nothing better than a Cuban with a good draw,

but like trying to find one. Somebody gave me a Cuban the other night and I was like, Oh my God, this is amazing. I was just like, Jesus Christ, my fucking eyeballs are going to pop out of my head trying to get a little mouthful of smoke here. So, um, I like the Aurora emeralds. And then there's, um, there's the other one. What the fuck is it called? I can't remember. I just know what the word is. So you're smoking like the big old church hills or you sticking with a little,

you know, uh, uh, Fistful of dollars, you know, Clint Eastwood style. No, not the little ones. Ron White smokes those. I've seen him smoke a few of those and he looks cool as hell is doing that. But no, I used to steal the old T and one of smalls and Swisher sweets when I was a kid and smoke them in the tree for it. That was always. Oh, my dad used to smoke the Dutch master and then he would, then he would always keep the box and then in there, you know, all the loose screws and everything would go in there, um,

inside the, uh, whatever, the little kitchen drawer there. So, um, I told you, and you know, I haven't been able to pull it off yet, but my road, uh, bus that I want to get is I want to get one of those. You remember that, that, uh, that GMC? Yeah, we, you and I were sending back and forth. Yeah, I just, yeah, you're a busy guy. You didn't buy that one with the blue leather interior. That thing was cool. And I know, I, I know, I know, I want to get, I just have to, I have to work it out cause what it is. If I didn't have a fucking kid,

then I would be doing the road like an animal and I could bring my wife along and blah, blah, blah. But you know, I got this whole, I'm rooted now, which is great and I love it. But, um, are you rooted here? Yes. And I love it out here. The dream is I want to get one of those, half my buddy who built my truck in my dad's car, um, redo the thing. And, um, sorry, I'm trying to, I'm going to burp here. It's a much bad food today. Um, Turkey, but help you out, Turkey. I, that's, I needed that this,

if this podcast was a tube, my body would be thanking you right now. I want to get that thing totally like read down like underneath, like have it still look like 1974, 1975, but underneath be like 2019. And the thing that I would add to it was I would have a humidor and then it would just be like my, my vice mobile. So I wouldn't do anything when I was home, which is most of the days now and I only do, I do two, two runs a month. So I'd be like, you know, and just like one, one night on each run,

I would go hard, you know, well, I had my face off. And then that would be like times 12 months. That's 24 days a year. I got drunk, gives a shit. My lever, but you know, my doctor, my family, but other than that, who gives a shit, right? Well, I mean, there's many things in that, and that's big statement. One is you can drink. You don't have to get drunk. I mean, I drank the wine because I enjoy it every night. That's called being mature.

And, you know, with the little, little beef jerky, it's all good. And then the rig, I see, I'm that guy. I'm the, if you're looking for a vehicle, an older vehicle, I'm the guy because I always tell people I don't do social media. My version of social media is going on Craig's list and looking for all car parts. And I'm not bullshitting. I'm always looking for Chrysler parts. I'm looking for this and that. The next thing. So when I hear somebody's looking for something, and I did do a little digging

for you at that time, and then I forgot, but I used to have a 23 foot Birchhaven GMC, the 23s. Well, there's a kick in the table. Something's happened here. Oh, down there. I just noticed that's the 23 and the 20. This is the 26 and then there's the 23. The 23s are cool because you can take them into most campgrounds that don't normally allow RVs. And the Birchhavens were the only, the Birchhavens and the Royals were the ones that actually had real wood interior. So I remember you sent me all of that stuff. Yeah, it's a whole, it's a whole subset. Yeah.

And there's websites about these things. They're amazing rigs. And when you drive them, it's like driving a Cadillac and the way the windshield wraps around you, it's almost like you're sitting on the bumper. You know, it's, it's, they're really incredible rigs. Now with a few times I've done tours and I rented a bus or anything. The thing that I did love about that was, first of all, the guys that I toured with it, toured with three of my great buddies and like, it was like, he was so excited to do the show and you'd pull up in the bus, was fucking awesome.

And then you'd go and you'd do the show, you'd have a great time. And then we would get on the bus and you'd be so excited. And we'd put in like good fellows or anchor man or something like that. And we would just sit there laughing the whole night, you know, drinking and eating and just watching movies. And it was like the, the camaraderie on it was, was, was incredible. And I kind of, I do miss that. And I have to figure out a way I've been, I've been toying with it.

Because my thing is, I think I want to do it is to just hire a driver and then he just has it. But that's a different thing than getting the GMC, right? I mean, that GMC. But I want to get the GMC and just have the guy hat. He just has the fucking thing. No, I see. Right.

And it's just like, all right, my, here's my torque goes from here to here. Because the bus is like the free-goal buses. That's a whole different level. That's like, you know, million dollar rigs. And they're, and they're amazing. That's why I don't do it anymore. Because when I got the bill, I was like, Jesus Christ, because he was the, you know, driver's going, you want to leave tonight?

I was like, yeah, let's get the fucking drive out of the way. I didn't realize I was paying overtime. So I already paid. I was already one, one, you know, gig and a half is out the fucking window. And then the bill came, you know what I mean? It's like, you know, you know, it was like, we got to stop playing them Chinese joints and then you can, you can step up. Well, anyways, the album is called South of Reality.

You don't know where they can get it. I'm assuming that you can get it on iTunes and all that. It's like psychedelic music. It's true incredible musicians. Sean Lennon and Mr. Les Claypool, thank you for doing my podcast. And thank you for we're going on three solid decades of incredible music. And I love everything that you do.

Tim Alexander, one of my favorite drummers of all time, brain, everybody that you play with, I just, I just love the musicians that you work with. So I'm going to be downloading this when I get home. Well, my wife teaches me how to do it. There you go. I will definitely be doing it. So look for the tour, three tours. Right. So far.

Yeah. Oh, by the way, I'm so I got to read an ad here. You want to see something inspirational? I'm ready. Watch, watch me try to read out loud. All right. Oh, look who it is. It's my bookie. Hey, how you doing? Brackets, first round upsets the final foe. March Madness is here and it's time to bet with the best at my bookie.

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Monday, morning podcast to follow. Thank you guys so much for listening and thank you again for all the great stories and all the wonderful music. All right, let's play pool, everybody. Let's play pool south of reality. Yeah. Bill Burr on the sports gambling podcast is brought to you by my bookie dot a G.

My book is the leader in online sportsbooks. Use the promo code Bill Betts for a 50% deposit bonus. Play, win and get paid at my bookie dot a G joining us on the my bookie dot a G hotline, the one, the only Bill Burr, Bill, it's March madness. Are you are you one of those guys who fills out a bunch of brackets? Are you going to fill out a bracket? I used to be that guy. I got a kid now.

So I try to watch the games between watching like the Mickey Mouse Club and puppy dog pals. I feel your pain there. I feel your pain. The kids have been out of town for like four days. So I've like just immersed myself in college basketball. It's awesome. I got to say my dad will say, watch hockey, watch hockey, watch basketball.

She knows what it is. But then like about three minutes in, she's just like, I want to watch dogs. I want to watch dogs. I mean, puppy dog pals. So I essentially, all it was was highlight of Zion where there's since like whole career, him blowing up the speaker and all of that out. You know, that ridiculous block shot look like somebody photoshopped him in continuing to go up after he blocked it.

Oh, that's a great highlight. Attention to it. Yeah, that's, yeah, that's like the, that's the highlight of the year for college basketball, for sure. He, he blew out his shoe and he also kind of hurt his knee. And then there was this big debate in the, you know, amongst the sports, like talking heads, whether or not Zion Williamson should come back or just rest the rest of the year and miss out on the tournament.

It's pretty cool. I know, I mean, go ahead, Bill. It's the only good, sorry, but the only good thing about that sort of dialogue is at some point, I, that doesn't have to pay the kids. It's the kind of one to stay and not have conversations like that. And I would just basically give him some sort of money. And when you're a college kid, you have like 200 bucks a week, you know, if you were filthy rich.

Yeah. And I think, you know, I think we're going to, we're close to, they can't keep continue to this, this charade of like amateur athletics, but we're going to sign billion dollar contracts with the TV networks. I mean, specifically I like how Zion's kind of like, nah, man, I want to play ball with my friends, like back up, you know, I'll make some money in the future. But I do think it's funny that everyone had to have an opinion about this. What this kid wanted to do. And he's like, well, I'm a kid and I want to play basketball with these dudes

whom friends with. So it's at the very least they should just let them, you know, make money off their own name. If there was a guy on a math scholarship and some, and some like compass company wanted to pay him a bunch of money or a graphing calculator company wanted to pay a bunch of money to him to use that graphing calculator that the school wouldn't have a shot. He's an amateur athlete, please. It's just, it's just cause the colleges aren't, wouldn't be getting a cut of that. And they already had these shoe deals.

That's, that's the real issue. Yeah. It's going to be, what happened was since the beginning of college athletics came television and then the internet streaming and all about, and it became this billion, multi-billion dollar business and they've been able to hide all their amateurs and literally take the purity out of the game. I will say the one thing I do know about the college game is that the players have to listen to the coach. And I think it's everything that's right with the NBA game right now where,

you know, I was watching, I'm going to say the guy, but I'm watching this team. And this, this team is playing better without the star and then he comes back and it's just all about him. So they started to kind of discuss it. And one of the, one of the color commentators goes, well, you have to understand that when you get a player of his caliber, he's going to have to get his touches. And it's just so, so how is this touches? You got to get a win here.

And it's all about like, I, I, I, I, I was watching the program now with, you know, it's a game and I'm thinking about 10-01, my team's still launching a freeze with nobody underneath. Nobody's getting benched. I didn't see one pick and roll the whole game. It's just, it really is a completely just different game. And so we like the college game better, but it just sucks when, but they don't pay the kids and then also you only get to see coach K develop a guy like Zion.

So just one year as opposed to like, I really think like the last big guy that stayed four years was what's his faith from the sparse, just blank on his name. Duncan, he stayed, he stayed for a while for sure. Yeah. I do think there's that element of like, I want to root for these guys year after. I mean, part of the reason you like rooting for a pro team too, like that's going away. It is, it is becoming, I feel like the millennial culture and plenty of people have talked about this specifically in basketball. They root for players now.

Yeah. Like, like Odell Beckham would be a good, good choice too. I know a lot of people are getting Brown's jerseys because they're Beckham. It's like, what, what is this nonsense? Like, support your team, you support your city, defend the shield. It's fantasy football. It's fantasy football. And also, you know, like the call, I don't judge any of those kids not staying for four years. I mean, it's, it is insane. And I think that them leaving will even then they're never going to open up

enough of the, the wallet to get those kids to stay compared to what they would make as pros. Yeah. I mean, even if they know in my business, if I sell out an arena, I get a nice check at the end of the day. Yeah. It's the ultimate, it's the ultimate bringer show, right? You're bringing the entire crowd. It's the fab five thing. You know, Jalen Rose, Chris Weber are walking down the street. The college is making tons of money. They're selling their jerseys for $100 a pot, but they don't have enough money to pay for it. Like that's, it feels like you could very quickly fix that by

saying, if we sell a Zion Williams jersey, you get a piece of this period. Yeah. A piece of the merch. My favorite thing is in people like they get a free education. It's like, then they're not getting a free education. What they're doing is they're going to school to play a sport. That's what they're majoring in. And they're making the school billions of dollars, you know, especially like football, how sophisticated the offense and the defense and all that. You don't have time to like be going to class and all of that type of stuff. I mean, it is what it is. And the reason why those schools have all those

beautiful buildings is because of the sports program. So, I mean, they, they should be getting, I don't know, should be getting a little something. I would think. Yeah. I mean, no, it's all those chemistry advocates there donating hundreds of millions of dollars to build buildings. It is as a, I know, I mean, it's a sad state, though, that is some really smart Asian kid transfers in that that's not as big a deal. And then you're going to have this genius kid coming in genius, I should say, academically, you know, not to say that there's not sports genius, you know, that he comes in that that's

not as big a deal. Like, you know, like if he's like the, the good will hunting kid, right? And he solves the math problem that there's not like a big ESPN segment on it. That would be hilarious if people walked around with jerseys that just said like genius, genius Asian kid on the back. He's figured out the first 31 trillion places in pie. It's like, who gives a shit? Yeah. Well, the closest thing for that is the stone B, but I think everybody kind of watches it because it's funny to watch those, those kids that during their awkward years, like freaking out. Oh man, these spelled, you know, grasshopper

correctly. It's somewhere between a blooper. It's definitely a novelty thing that people are watching for comedic. Like they don't play the highlights on sports center because they want to show some awesome words. Yeah. They really just want to make fun of these kids. It's kind of fucked up. They want to have some GIF of some kids sweating and it's like facial reactions in his glasses. And yeah, that's what they're looking for. Not, not the celebration of spelling. When it's really one to win the whole thing. And still it's so slowly. We've got counting down instead of like

freaking out. Yeah. It's like, uh, it's a more intelligent approach to wheel of fortune. Oh, absolutely. That's still one of my favorite shows. I still can't, even when I go down to the vows, I can't figure. I hope the 80% of it. Uh, Bill, let me ask you this. Consider it so, so little money, uh, basketball team has always been the king. This Jay, uh, another one, a parent this year. And I think Paloma being in, uh, the spectrum. They are definitely one of the teams that people are throwing out as don't be surprised if Kansas takes an early exit from the tournament this year. They have, they have some, uh, they've had some issues all year. And I think they're

what's John, a four seed. Yeah. They're taking on North, Northeast. Yeah. They're, they're a four seat going up against the 13 seed. This was the first year that in the big 12 tournament, they weren't a number one seed. So every, I actually 14 years since they didn't win the conference. I think something insane. It's been a crazy year off for them, but those are, those are sometimes the teams you have to be on the lookout for as far as betting on teams with that kind of history that maybe just had a down year in the regular season, solid coaching. They could kind of turn it on, make a run. I mean, that's all I kind of think Villanova is going to do. They've won two of the last four national championships.

They didn't have a great regular season, but they played well. When in the big East, I think they could make a little bit of noise. Yeah. Just the tight up Kansas is playing northeastern in the first round minus six and a half point favorites. So people still liking Kansas. I think not, not northeastern Boston. Yeah. Yeah. They're in it. We, you know, because we were going to talk to you. I, I looked through it. I combed through it. I'm like, what's Boston teams are going to be in the northeastern is the only Boston representative. And yeah, they won whatever conference they're in. Look at that dilemma right out of the gate. My Kansas J Hawks. Oh, I got to go. I got to go

northeastern though. All right. So you're going northeastern. So you're not a millennial who's just going to follow players. You guys stick, stick to the home, the homegrown. I'm a county. I'm old school. Nice. I like it. So maybe, maybe ride the Huskies with Bill Burr catching six and a half points. Bill, I'm going to watch it. When is the tournament start Wednesday, Thursday? It starts tomorrow morning. I think the first game tips at nine 15 Pacific time northeastern Kansas is going to be at one PM tomorrow. Oh, that's got cigar bar written all over it. And they're smoking a stick watching that. All right. I love it. I love it. Go Huskies. Go Huskies as a, as a comedian, you know, it's, it's easy to get annoyed. I think at,

you know, the, the announcers, when they try and be funny, I think the one exception though is Charles Barkley. Are you, are you a huge fan of watching Barkley as a, as a color commentator or analyst? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of great ones out right now. I think the best one that came in the morning years is Tony Romo and NSL. Oh no. You want to stop that you won when you watched that guy play that guy. One time he talked about at the end of the game, the Patriots had it one and Ballochek was changing up some stupid thing. He was going, he's literally doing what he's doing right now. This has nothing to do with the game. This has to do with throwing off other coaches,

trying to figure out his, his tendencies. This house, this is how far ahead this guy looks. I love Tony Romo. I heard what he had grown, but I love it. Well, I just love that he waited to, he saved his greatness for after he was done playing football for the Dallas Cowboys. So I do was great. He was great. I had like 19 quarterback coaches. That wasn't his fault. His problem is that owner who looks like he should be on the Kardashians with all that bone talks. That's his problem. That guy stepped in S in the beginning when he got Jimmy Johnson and couldn't handle the Jimmy was getting all that credit. He has a high speed elevator going down the field. Their problem is the owner. It was not Tony Romo, but he's a quarterback.

So he took all the brunt. He does have a Montgomery burns type vibe. Jerry Jones, do you have a high speed elevator to get down to the field so we can run out there and get some safe time when they win that. That's not staying in your own way. Yeah. That is a, I mean, that's a horrible move going on the sidelines. Just as a Arthur Blank of the Atlanta Falcons, when they were up 28 to three and he goes down there with his wife and they're holding the hands as the lead slowly slips away and the paths all the way back and win an OT that you just, you got to stay in the that was right up there with watching somebody blow like choke on Sunday playing the masters. Yeah. There's nothing like choking because it takes so long.

All of the sports. He does it up and it's a ball. He missed his game over. Like you like choke for like an hour. I mean, do you remember the Greg Norman choke job where it was like, it was a holes and you're just, I mean, I remember as a kid watching it and just be like, Oh my goodness, this, this guy is completely ruining his life right now. Time just goes down. He looked like a guy in a public course. Yeah. No, I was going to say that's what happens when, when you're playing a foursome at Debellon Burbank and you're playing with a guy who just freaks out and on the third hole, he's throwing his clubs. And it's like, all right, well, this isn't going to go well. Who is that guy? I saw like, uh, it was like 20 years, not

time, I'm sorry, 10 years ago. The first time I was like, I'm going to watch the masters from Thursday right through Sunday. I watched the whole thing. Is it Kenny Perry? Oh, that. No, what the hell was his name? I think I got to get the guy's name. He had the whole joy turned into tears of sorrow. And then they went into the overtime and he lost, I forget it was last thing. And he said afterwards, when he reflected on the last, he said, when he sold out his scorecard, he didn't even talk to his family. He just got in his car and started driving. All right. And it's a thing. I've been to the masters. And what blew my mind was, I, you think the way the course looks that they can make this

better. It's literally like a hooters. You walk by that and then you go on the golf course. There's like a best buy and all this. It just looks like a regular, you know, strip mall sort of area. So he left, went down that whole room with all those beautiful trees and then just pulled out and went by a hooters just driving down the street. It's funny you say that bill. What are the worst things they ever saw? You're right. It was Kenny Perry. It was 2009. So stellar memory. 10 years ago, did collapse. I've also been to Augusta and yeah, it's, it's kind of like when you visit a very prestigious university that's dropped in the middle of a bad part of town and there's

just, you walk through some game. Yeah. You walk, you walk through gates, Georgia tech and like this, the USC is a little, you walk through some gates and all of a sudden you're the grass is green and things are nice. And you're like, what the fuck's going on here? Yeah. Kind of makes you think about society a little bit. You go on the outside of the gates of the Augusta and it's strip malls and barbecue joints. Like that, that's all there is down. Yeah. That's, they call it disgust for a reason, Sean. It's funny you mentioned that Hooters because every year at that Hooters, John Daley shows up in a RV and just hangs out at the Hooters parking lot and just signs autographs and talks

about his crazy days. What a life that guy has. No, he's really on top of it. No, he's wondering if he really is. He's like one of the great Americans. He's really misunderstood. I love that guy. He has a great clip on YouTube of just some of his longest drives and like the torque and the speed of the head of his car. It's so ridiculous. I laugh like I'm watching a standup reel. Like just, that's how he's still just a raw power. And just having that all since that when he was just telling stories about like, you know, how he played better drunk. I mean, now it's considered a disease and all that. All the old NFL players have stories like that from Bobby Lane to like Ken Stable.

There's a classic story of John Madden didn't Ken Stable a shit for going out and partying the night before and saying like, you know, he's too tired or whatever. And he just finally looked at him and he's like, coach, he's like, how much rest you need to go out and play a couple of rounds of football. I mean, think about Michael Jordan and he was playing pick up. Yeah. I mean, Jordan, Jordan was probably enjoying cocktails on the golf course. Lawrence Taylor. I mean, that was the opposite that he was all into uppers, uppers only. Well, John Daley had a great, he was in, he was doing an interview and he explained that he had trouble putting because every time he would go to putt, as he was pulling the club head back,

he would start thinking about how much he owes his wife in alimony. He was paying her $35,000 a month. He goes, I can't hit a God damn pot anymore. All I do is think about how much money I owe her. Yeah. So sad. Yeah. Someday, someday I hope this progressive era comes around to that. You know, alimony and child support at some point, you know, there's gotta be a little knot in our directions. Maybe one, one day daily, you'll get some of that money back. Bill, before we go, just your thoughts on NFL free agency or the NFL off season, the big Odell Beckham trade in Tony O Brown. He didn't want to play for the bills and he ended up getting traded to the Raiders. I think that's such BS that players can do that now.

It's like, no one does bust a lot. I have to wait to get a great player. They may, you know, he's, he had a really, you know, with the stores, the bills made a move and they got him and then he's just like, oh my God, that's sad. I don't want to play there. And then it's just like, he gets to go somewhere else. It's like, well, then go to the NFL. I got to understand how they want to lead. I mean, it goes out of me both, like, you know, Kobe Bryant, John L. Y., all of those guys. I understand. I will say, I will say with it, with an NFL quarterback, because if you go to a bad team and they have no offensive line, like your career is going to be over. Like all that, like the Joey Harrington's or that guy was a bust. It's like, he's a bust. He went to the Lions.

Who knows what he could have been. He wasn't running for his life for three years. So I don't know. I think, I, I forget what the Browns are doing. It kind of seems that Baker may feel swagger and, you know, Odell, his emotional issues or whatever, they're kind of becoming the Midwest Oakland Raiders. So maybe that'll work if they can get a bunch of free spirits in there, as they say. I think, I think him and Baker may feel they're going to be great together. Yeah. And I think it's exciting just to see Browns fans excited. I'm happy for that. I do agree with that. I do find it interesting that we, as a country, feel sorry for Cleveland and always want to prop them up when there's an opportunity. But yeah, it does seem like Odell

Beckham walking into the Browns locker room is like the dude smoking the cigarette, walking through a gas station. Like it may, it may turn into nothing, but it also may turn into a very awesome situation to watch. It could come down and Jarvis Landry. He's no, he's no wall flower, that guy. I was supposedly his best friends with Odell. So maybe they make it work, but he's, he's a guy who loves getting the ball and is going to make that a point. So if Baker can kind of balance, I don't know, man, I'm starting to, I'm starting to see an old timey, like 1970s and a 13 get put together up there. And I really hope I hope, I hope it goes the positive way. And they become like this hilarious, you know, exciting team to watch that has like the best

interviews afterwards. Cause they all say a bunch of crazy stuff. That's what I'm hoping for. Well, and the networks are clamoring to get Cleveland Brown's games this year. So that's new multiple Cleveland Brown games in prime time. It's been a long time. My uncle, my uncle's going to roll over in his grave, but you got, I mean the Browns fans in general, Cleveland is a real legit sports city. Any team like that, that has so many diehards, whether it is the Browns or the bills, teams that maybe the city doesn't have a lot going on besides the team. You got a root for those, those fan bases. So it's good to see they're getting some big time players in there. Bill, as always appreciate you calling into the podcast. Make sure you check out bill's

money morning podcast, F is for family. Anything else you got going on bill? I got season three of F is for family is now streaming on Netflix. It's an adult cartoon, I would say definitely some vulgar language. It's got a lot of heart. Don't watch it around your kids. We got three great seasons and we're wrapping up season four right now as far as writing it and season four should be out next year. A quick sidebar to that. One of my kids fat stumbled across efforts, F is for family. I had that moment where I was like, how the no stop, but it is funny. Great show. Great time. I'll let you guys as parents decide your own, your own, what you're going to do with your kid.

I'm not a big fan of censorship, but I maybe applied a little censorship. Yeah. You got to, you got to figure out the right age. All right. Thanks as always. You got to let him have a childhood. All right, guys. We'll see you. Go Huskies. All right. Appreciate it. Go Huskies. Take care. Hey, warm things up this spring with a trip to Sarila's where romance finds fantasy. While flowers are blooming outside, bring them inside with a hugely popular rose toy from NS novelties described as small, but mighty. The rose is 25% off this month at Sarila's along with all

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