Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 1-25-24

Episode Date: January 25, 2024

Bill rambles about 'wide right', money, and entourages. 00:00 - Thursday Afternoon Podcast 32:05 - Thursday Afternoon Throwback 1-25-16 Bill rambles about the Patriots loss, the Bonzo Bash, and the world's poop. 01:38:12 - Anything Better Championship Weekend Preview & Picks with Paul Virzi

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. And you know, as much as I'm checking in on you, I wish that you would like maybe check in on me sometimes. Oh, Billy Freckles. If you knew Billy like I knew Billy. Oh, oh, oh, what a cold.

This fucking lingering ass cold has been in my house for two weeks and I haven't got it. And I've been interacting with my kids, being a good father, and I just kept taking vitamins and eating raw ginger and fucking all natural honey. That really isn't all natural. They just removed one ingredient and it's the same shit from the shit grocery store. Now they can put it into Trader Joe's and I've called it natural. Trader Joe's, they should call that place, you fucking traitor, Joe. Fucking traitor, Joe. Did you hear about that? Most of the shit they're saying that's in Traders Joe's

is in the other supermarket that was fucking poisoning you. And all they have to do is they, the food lobby is so fucking strong, all they're like, all right, all right, all right, we'll take one thing out. And now we can call it organic, cause we decide, and you're just eating the same shit, minus one ingredient.

Allegedly, allegedly. I'm sweating here, roasting bacon, boiling. It's like a sauna. Holy shit. The fucking Buffalo Bills. I was watching that game going like they can't do this to their fans again. Like they just they cannot fucking do this. Shout out to that dude, Sass. They're gonna blame you. They're gonna fucking blame you, but it's bullshit. The fucking Buffalo Bills, I mean, they did like, it's like they wanted to lose that game.

How many drop passes? How many times did you hear Tony Romo go, you know, he should have caught that. Now granted, he sides with the quarterback, but there was times right through guy White, like fucking open and Alan puts the ball where it needs to be, right? Doesn't happen. Chiefs made plays, the bills didn't. And I, you know, that fucking fake punt on your own 30 yard line,

that was a debacle. That shoulda iced the game for the Chiefs, but your defense bailed you out. You had like fucking six key drop passes. And even if you made that field goal, all that woulda done was tie it up. The Chiefs were gonna go down, they were gonna go down,

they were gonna cut your hearts out one way or the other. So you got it over with. But you know, the whole wide right thing just fits the narrative. Oh, the two saddest words, you know, in Buffalo. It's not wide right. The two saddest words are lake effect.

Two saddest words in Buffalo, near Rochester. There's way more sadder words than fucking wide right. Anyway, the Buffalo Bills are not ready for prime time. Okay, that's just basically it. They're good enough to get there. They're not good enough to win. And you know, if you want to take the frustration out on the field, go kicker and really not take a look at your life and the relationships that you're having and how you feel every time he or she or they open their fucking mouth. And you're going to ignore that voice in your head that's saying, how in the fuck Out of all the human beings I could have cohabitated with that I ended up with this person you know And the voice in your head just starts growing stronger every day like the telltale heart right and it finally just you know

Just say it just say it. I'm not happy This isn't working for me. I want out. I want out, right? I'm doing it this weekend. I'm doing it. And then what happens? There's a playoff game in your city. There's a party. People drink. They're watching it. It's a disappointing loss and now you're gonna go home in trauma-bond with that person that you don't, you just don't love them anymore. Okay people, this is why you need to have a good game plan on Sundays or Mondays, because it affects people so much more beyond just the game. How about that fucking pussy in the crowd

just breaking down crying? I mean, that was fucking ridiculous. I'm sorry, that would be, if that was my son, I would be like, what in the fuck was that? Were you watching a romantic comedy? that. Were you watching a romantic comedy? You know, remember those fucking awful romantic comedies and these fucking writers would always have to come up with that line to make all the women be like, oh, you know, you complete me. First of all, that is an awkward clunky fucking line.

You complete me. You make me want to be a better man. You could just say shit like that in the 90s and fucking women would lose their mind like watching the movie. That line doesn't work in real life. You make me want to be a better man. She just be looking at you like, well, okay, are you going to be a better man? You haven't really committed to anything with that fucking statement. Why did you give me that big stupid dramatic look before you said it?

This is all a bunch of talk Jack. I need action Like that fucking dude crying Crying like he's the first sports fan ever to experience a devastating loss Go fuck fuck yourself. And everybody, has anybody suffered more than the fucking Buffalo Billfans? What the fuck are you talking about? Suffering. They're like middle-aged sufferers. I don't wanna fucking hear that shit.

The Chicago Cubs didn't win for over 100 fucking years. People born, lived, died. Never saw them win anything. The bills have been around in the NFL since 1970. Alright, they're 53 fucking years in, 54 years in. Quit your fucking whining. You lose a game, you take it like a man. Break it down, crying in the stands.

What is this, World Cup soccer? You're an American, you don't feel feelings. There's certain fucking groups of people out there, I know that they don't cry. I know they don't. There's no way Armenians, if they lose a soccer game, break down and cry. That's just not in them. Russians, there's just no fucking way. All right?

And it used to be Americans. Okay? You didn't cry. You went home and you took it out on your wife. You snapped at your children. That's what you did. You didn't just break down and cry. Is that the Chris Bosch effect? Did he make it okay? Oh, is that that other person? There was somebody that film themselves crying. Oh shit. You know I watched the other day, yesterday, I'm trying

to get over this cold. Speaking of crying, Ion, the cry tear Eon channel. And I watched John Capitas escape from New York. I hadn't watched that. I watched that on cable when it came out in the mid 80s and I fucking loved it. I went back and I watched it, it was fucking, it was great. Was,

I would say it kind of reminded me of like, the Road Warrior or like the Terminator in sort of the rawness of it But I feel like those movies took from John Carpenter style. He kind of came up with that first I didn't realize that guy scored most of his own movies Had like a Casio keyboard and he wrote like he wrote the theme to Halloween That's pretty fucking iconic right? That's right up there with that guy right in the theme to when you're thinking about shit on Jeopardy Do do do do do do do That's right up there with that guy writing the theme to when you're thinking about shit on Jeopardy.

You just speed it up. It's the exact same song. I heard Murg Griffin and John Carpenter never spoke after that. That's true. You can put that on the Wikipedia page. No, it was a fucking great movie. Fucking, you know what's funny is that when I was watching it and I was thinking about Kurt Russell and I was thinking how he did that big trouble in Little China, I'm like, he's literally mocking his own performance in, uh, escape from New York. And I was thinking like, I wonder if that pissed John Carpenter off.

And then I saw that John Carpenter directed that movie also. So they were kind of making fun of this genre of movies that they helped create, which I thought was really cool. And both of them totally worked, because Snake Plisken is a total fucking badass. And, but there's, you know, of course you can look at a movie and make jokes about it, but like, it's still a fucking great movie, but then Big Trouble and Little China,

he was just sort of making fun of that whole, like leading man action hero thing. Which I love too, right in the height of it too. Not like looking back a decade later, like some hipster cunt. You know what is funny about hipsters is how they dressed, they dress like, you know, sometimes they'll, you know, the ones that dress like they're in a period piece, like movie, like the pic they dress like they're in a period piece like movie, like the pic they dressed like it's the 1920s or whatever. And I was like weird, like so you identify with that era, you know, it was pretty wildly racist in 1920. You know, they dressed up like they're gonna be a man. Let me tell you I'm shade sports should be white for white children

No, I do not the ideology it's just the fashion Anyway So my wife saw me right now because I'm not good when I'm sick Like what I do when I get sick is I just sort of ignore it And I just continue I go, you know, I just keep doing whatever. So she yelled at me in a loving way. She looked at me and she gently touched my face and she said, listen, you bald orange cunt Okay, go to the bedroom lay down drink plenty of fluids and get over this Okay, you're not playing drums You're not going outside. You're not going to the movies. You're not gonna go, you know

How great are my options even when I'm sick It's one of the great things about becoming a stand-up comedian when you're taking time off the road is it's like you're a kid now, like summer vacation, except you're hemorrhaging cash every day. Money never sleeps. Isn't that what they say? I hate that fucking phony deep shit. Money never sleeps, rise and grind, like all of these fucking things that are supposed to sound deep. And it's just like, no, you have just 100% bought into capitalism.

That you're gonna have to, every day you have to wake up and just work your ass off. And if you don't, like you're going to have to, every day you have to wake up and just work your ass off. And if you don't, like you're somehow losing and you're going to lose all of it. I swear to God, like this, they should just be like, did I say this on the podcast? They should just have like a limit to the amount of wealth that you can attain just so you don't miss out on life. You know, like just say whatever it is, $50 million, $100 million. And then once you get there, you're able to just have $100 million. You have $100 million. You're fucking good.

You were able to just have a hundred million dollars. You have a hundred million dollars. You're fucking good. You know, the fuck do you need anymore of that? Right. But then they, but they give you a sticker. And it just said, I did it. You know, it's like having like the black AMX or whatever the fuck everybody wants. You know, I did it. I'm done. Are you?

Yeah. Are you then they like shit? So it still feeds their ego Then they can all compete about when they were done You know that was done by the time I was 36. I was done by the time I was 34 Yeah, but you know you came from fucking I'm done money, right? I'm a self-made. I'm done her right? And then you just, you're fucking done. And then the rest of the money that you make, because some people are just really good at making money, you know, but then what would you do? If you keep earning money and you give it back to this system is so fucking corrupt. And then also this whole thing about giving money to poor

people like they're all fucking saints, you know, poor people are just like rich people. Some of them are cool. Most of them are assholes. So you'd have to educate everybody on money and it just, it just, you couldn't do it. That's the thing, man. You literally cannot help somebody out. You can't help dumb people out. That's what I've learned or stubborn people, pigheaded people. You can't help narcissists. There's so many different factions of human beings that if you try to help them out, you just can't because of the way that they're wired. You know, like I know some really smart talented people in this business and you literally just cannot help them out because

they're fucking full- narcissist or ego maniacs and they can't take in any information unless they feel like it came from them or they figured it out or whatever. All right. Sorry. I just got a phone call there. I always forget to put it on airplane mode. Why would you put it on airplane mode when you're sitting in your house.

Here's one for you. All right? As you go into the world, two things. Don't ever become part of somebody's entourage, and don't fucking interact with somebody that has an entourage. Don't waste your time with that person. That's it.

All right? I'm not gonna say, oh, maybe I say a little more on that. Yeah, you just, just trust me. Don't be in somebody's entourage and don't fuck with somebody that has an entourage and you will be good. All right, anytime whatever fucking business you're in and somebody rolls up and there's like two or three SUVs,

there's the dude you wanna talk to and then three other trucks of jerk offs, that's it. Like that person is not a person anymore. They're just, they're not tethered to reality cause all of those people, the one person that they're not tethered to reality because all of those people, the one person that they're all underneath like that person's like happiness becomes their currency. Keep that thing happy and then we all eat. And then at that point, nobody's calling the person out on any of

their bullshit. They are no longer a somebody that you could actually have a fucking conversation with. There you go. That's a good one. You know what's another, you know, it was a good one back in the day was when you went over to somebody's house and you just sort of took a glance at their bookshelf and what books they were reading. You'd get an idea. And one time there was this fucking sleazy ass manager that wanted to sign me and I swear to God, over his left shoulder I'm taking a meeting with him

and he had a book on mind control. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I swear to God, it set mind control. And that guy, obviously, for obvious reasons, I was not going to sign with this guy. All right? Even though I did, because I didn't have any self-esteem. I actually, I'm full of shit. I signed with him for a couple years.

But I shouldn't have. That's totally be honest here. Fucked up. Which is what wisdom is. Wisdom is what you learn through the fuck ups in your life. And if you're not a selfish bastard when you get old, you pass on this information to younger people so they can avoid some of the pitfalls that you stepped into. And then we all become better people.

Isn't that how it's supposed to work? Anyway, two reasons why I shouldn't decide. One that he's giving off this sleazy vibe and the obvious. He's reading a book called Mind Control, which of course he was not even good at. And then secondly, the other reason, he's like, if you're reading a book on mind control and you're trying to fucking sign a client, you should probably be smart enough not to have that on the shelf. Because if you do, all you're going to sign is low self-esteem fucking idiots.

Well, maybe that is right. Maybe what he was doing was good. Maybe that was his genius. Maybe he left it out there. You know, that anybody that has self-esteem and sees this is going to walk out, but anyone who sees that and still signs with me, I'll be able to do mind control. All right, well, I worked that out. Anyway, well, learn from me. If you're taking a meeting with somebody and they have a book on mind control, don't get into business with them. And you wouldn't think you'd have to tell people that, but I wish somebody told me that.

Oh, geez. So what do we got here? We got the ravens. We got the bills, not bills. Sorry, we got the chiefs. The chiefs. And then we got who else? We got the 49ers and the Lions. Is it going to be a rematch? Ravens 49ers or chiefs and 49ers? What would I like to see. I would like to see the Lions vs the Chiefs, the Lions win, or Lions vs

the Ravens. And I actually like the Ravens. I like both Harbaugh's. I like the Raven organization. I like defensive minded organizations like the Giants, the Ravens, the Steelers. It's kind of funny, the Black and Blue Division. Bengals have a really good defense, Browns have a good defense, you know. Historically speaking, I like those types of teams. All right, so what do I think is going to happen? I think it's going to be 49ers versus the Chiefs. And I think the Chiefs are going to win. That's what I just think.

I just think that the Chiefs are too well coached and I just think that Patrick Mahomes, Kelsey and they just, they know how to win. They know when to flip the fuck this switch. Because on paper, the Ravens should win. And then it should be Ravens 49ers. And on paper, it should be the 49ers because they have the most talent or whatever. But I think Brock Purdy is still a little bit young. We shall see. That's, you know what that is guys? Hey, you know, it's just my two cents. That's all it is.

Hopefully I feel better. I gotta go do some fucking standup. I'm climbing the fucking walls over here. I went to go fly. I haven't flown in like fucking like two weeks. It's just been raining out here. So I finally go up there. It's clear day.

The day after it rained, usually a clear day means high winds. That's why it's clear. Hazy day, people think, oh, it's a bad day to fly. It's actually the haze is just hanging in the air because it's nice and calm air. It kind of sucks though. So like when you fly, on the days you don't get tossed around you can't you know see as much as you would like And on the crystal clear days

You get bounced around so of course I go up to the airport and there's no wind or anything But I as I drive in though I see the flag and it's fucking blowing Significantly, it's not hanging or dangling, it's straight out and it's blowing. Not violently, but it's blowing. I'm like, wow, that's more wind than what was at my house. And by the time I was done pre-flight and fueling it up and everything, it was just like, you know, winds weren't bad. It's the gusts in a light aircraft. It's gusting that just makes it not fun. So it was like 20 knots gusting up to 27, 28. And it's just like, all right, I could fly in this but it's not going to be fun. Just getting thrown around up there. So anyway, I do have

it all pre-flighted. So I think this weekend I'm gonna take it up. Fucking dying to go flying. There's a couple things I wanna check out. There's an old car museum in Oxnard that's closing. Johnny Cash's house up in Ojai. There's this killer fucking bowl in alley, you know, from like the 1960s that they haven't changed at all. You go in there, it looks like the Jetsons. I like doing shit.

Like, like, Ellie's such a fucking interesting city when it comes to all of that stuff. So I definitely want to do that. Chomping at, what do they call it? Chomping at the, at the, not the bit. I used to know what it was. It's the thing you stick in a horse's mouth. Oh, who the fuck knows? Anyway, let's do the reads here for this week if I even got any.

I have no idea if I've even received these yet. It sounded oddly religious, didn't it? Do you accept the Lord Jesus Christ and all of his teachings so help your God? Whatever the fuck they say in all those mob movies. What was that one? Do you denounce Satan? That was Godfather. I haven't seen that in a long time. All right, now I got to come off airplane mode, right? I come off airplane mode and then I go into my my my fucking inbox and then it's there, right?

And then it's there and it's not there. All right. Fuck this. We're going to wrap this podcast up. I'll do the, I'll do the, uh, I'll do the advertisements later. Oh, let me just do the, I'll just do the intro. Okay guys, now it's time for the live reads. Dad, we're back.

Dad, we're back! Anyway, you know what I can't believe is F1 and MotoGP are going to be starting up in like another month. It's fucking incredible. How much they beat the shit out of their bodies and they only give them like three months off and then they're just like right back at it. The big thing is, is Mark Marquez is writing for Ducati. I cannot fucking believe it. I've always rooted against him and Honda and rooted for David C. Oso and all those guys back at Benyai.

All right. All of those guys over at Ducati and uh I don't know now I don't know what to do because I love Ducati's. I like just all that Italian shit the food, the cars, the motorcycles, all of that stuff. I've really been wanting to go back to Europe though, I've become fascinated with, you know, I don't know, just all of the language and food and cuisine over there and how it just was through colonialism over here and the British ideology and it just became like you speak English, fuck all of this other stuff. And then we all had to kind of fall in line, just like any other country that Britain was

involved in. It's really fascinating how they did that. And to this day, how like English is considered like the top language or the only language or the language of the world. It's like, why? It's no better or worse than any other language. Anyway, like when I was growing up, like if someone couldn't speak English, if they spoke broken English, like you literally looked at them like they were dumb. Like they were dumb because they couldn't

speak English. And even though they could already speak another language, their language was dumb because it wasn't English. How fucking stupid was that? And that was the prevailing thought when I was growing up. I grew up in a dumb time. Guess what? I fit right in. Oh, I fit right in. Well, as much as my lovely wife told me not to go play drums, I'm going to lose my fucking mind if I don't go downstairs.

Go out to the garage and fucking go fucking play some drums. I got to do it. I'm dying to do it. She's not home. She's out busting her ass today. So I think I'm going to go do that. All right. And that's basically it.

I still have glass in my finger. I still have a cold, the bills still have not won in the post-season. Fucking unbelievable. But anyway, I'm gonna head out tonight. I'm gonna do some fucking stand-up, that's all I'm gonna do, alright? And that is it.

And that is it, that's all I have to say. There's a bunch of other shit that I would say, but I'm not gonna say it it because I don't believe in it What do you think about that? Huh? Oh, did I tell you I'm going underground this year? I'm going underground. I am not gonna sit back and watch these two mentally ill fucking old-ass white dudes run for fucking president I'm just not gonna sit there and watch the entire country act like they're fucking idiot isn't a fucking idiot. It's just, it's, yeah, I'm not watching it.

You know, it's gonna be like the fucking real housewives. Except old guys. They should sponsor, like Viagra should sponsor this year's presidential election. Brought to you by sunscreen and Viagra. Anyway, I feel like maybe this will be the last time we have to deal with both these old idiots. And then I think hopefully you'll be amazing

if we just went youth. And by youth, I just meet somebody 40 years old, male or female, you know? We just, we gotta get out of this. How about a 40 year old Asian chick, or like a fucking 39 year old Puerto Rican dude? We gotta shake this up. This is just fucking,

ha ha ha. This is just, I don't know what are we doing? Oh no, what are we doing? I mean, Jesus fucking Christ We have a warm longer with dementia going up against the reality show TV star Again That's what I love. It's not how did we end up here? This is happening It's happening again

Fucking wild. It is fucking wild. And there's people that actually have passion for either one of those candidates. Like I get it, you told the company line, but to actually be passionately for one or the other just fucking blows my mind. This is just my two cents here. All right. I think I've said enough. That is it. But you go out, you have yourself a good day today and you

go out, you'd be nice to somebody, you know, regardless of their fucking political leadings or whatever. That's it. I think that's the only solution. It's just regular people. We just have to be nice to each other. We got to stop watching this shit. I don't have any solutions. I have no idea. I have no idea. But I'm looking forward to being back on the road. And you guys, if you're nice enough to show up to my shows, making you laugh, because that's what fills me up. That's it. That's all I got. All right, go fuck yourselves. Have a great weekend, your cunts, and I'll talk to you on Monday. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, uh, January 25th, 2016. What's going on? How are you? How are you? Oh, you know how I'm doing. I'm not doing

good. Oh, everybody in Denver settling in with a big fucking smile on your face. Aren't you? How you fucking pot smoking cunts with your goddamn hemp ponchos. Congratulations to the Broncos. They deserved it right out of the gate. We took the ball, they stopped us, and I remember when they scored in the first drive, I was like, that was disturbingly easy. And they just, we have, they just, Vaughn fucking Miller.

I mean, if he was in the backfield any quicker during the game He'd be taking the fucking snap. I mean it was brutal. We just didn't have any answers on the off at the wood And that's what did it not the fucking field goal and not us going forward and forth down I can only imagine what they're saying. I'm doing this Sunday night I can imagine the sports talk radio that they're second guessing Bill Belichick. Yeah second guessing. second guessing. It's just Bill Belichick. Oh, what are you? Yeah, you're the other fucking, you've never coached on any fucking level. They right now, why did they kick, they should have kicked the field goal. Then when they would have been in by five and they grew up, can't you see touchdown pass and they're

up by fucking there. I love how people think like, like something earlier in the game if they just did this that that doesn't change everything after that I mean how many fucking back to the futures do they have to make that you see if you change one thing that it changes everything else so if the Patriots did kick the fucking thing and we got to within five and when we got the ball back, the fact that a touchdown would put us ahead rather than us being down by eight, they would have had a completely different fucking defense. Okay. Before they fucking do all of that second guessing shit, you know, fucking Verzi was, was going through that. I said, I was saying,

I was saying when they did it was dumb. Oh, did you non-coach Verzi? Yeah, I'm gonna listen to you as opposed to fucking Belichick. When they did it, I was like, I love the, I love the call going for it. We weren't able to move the fucking ball at all on offense. The entire fucking game. We were, the only reason why we had a touchdown was because they had that fucking lateral. And even then, then we missed a fucking extra point. It just, it wasn't our day.

Even when we had got a gift, we fucked it up and then we gave it right back with a pick and then they scored. But yeah, we weren't able to move the fucking ball. Every time Brady went back, there was somebody in his face, you know, chomping at the fucking, his legs as he was trying to throw the fucking thing you're that close I I Agreed with going for it didn't work out, but you know, that's how life is sometimes so but it was a great season and For what they accomplished with all the injuries and all that type of shit. It was amazing and I gotta tell you I am I'm definitely rooting for

Peyton Manning I'd like to see him go out like John Alway. It'd be pretty cool if another guy in the Broncos does that. But then you also got to love Cam Newton, you know? Jesus Christ. The only guy I know like about Cam Newton is one more person tells me there's nobody having more fun than him. I'll tell you right now, there's nobody having more fun than Camp Newton. Camp Newton, he's like a kid on Christmas. He's like a, he's like a kid with a second birthday. He's like, I get it. He's having fun. He's also totally fucking hamming it up and making sure his next sneaker deal would be, it will be even 10 times what the fuck he has right now. Let's not just, let's not

be totally naive here and just act like everything he's doing is just because he loves playing the game. He wasn't this fucking animated when he was at a fucking Auburn. I used to watch those games, Root Against, Root Against him. So I would watch and I was, he wasn't doing all that shit. But then again, he couldn't get paid or at least legally, he couldn't get paid back then. So, you know, what was the point of dancing every time you fucking, I love when that one guy fucking, they threw the screen pass and he ran all the way to the other side of the field. By the time he gets there, Cam Newton runs in with them and kind of fucking jumps in on that guy's Super Bowl, Super Bowl, his touchdown celebration. And then the cameraman is just following Cam Newton for the rest of the time.

In my business, that's called, not stealing a scene, it's called, Jesus Christ, I don't do enough acting to even know. Stealing a scene is when you're better than the other person. Upstaging somebody. He was upstaging him. So I just don't need anybody else telling me how much fun Cam Newton's having. I get it, he's having a good time,

but he's also completely hamming it up because when he does, he makes a zillion dollars. However, as crushing as the Patriots loss was, like I literally had to, I had to go for a walk after they lost. And I gotta tell you, I felt like we were gonna lose that game. You know, sometime in the second quarter,

I was just like, I can feel it. This just isn't our day. It just wasn't, Brady never, I mean, they were all over him. He never got comfortable. And he wasn't screaming and yelling and getting people going. But our fucking defense played great. Um, but I don't know. I just, sometimes you just feel it's just not your fucking day. So I literally had to go for

a walk. I went to the bank. I mailed something. I got the car washed. It was like nobody there was like a ghost town. It was just like, you know, some fucking nerds or whatever who don't give a shit about sports and some poor bastards who had to work. And yeah, I went to the car wash and then I went to this, uh, uh, I don't know, Mediterranean, Middle Eastern, whatever the fuck it is. Got one of those wraps, the Schwarm, a wraps, whatever the fuck you call it. And it actually worked out perfect. I walked a few blocks over.

I got the wrap. I ate it. I watched some whatever the fuck you call it. And it actually worked out perfect. I walked a few blocks over, I got the rap, I ate it, I watched some of the Carolina, Arizona game. And then when I came back, right as I came back, the guy was finishing my car and he put his hand up like, who's car is this? It was fucking perfect. Perfect timing. It was about the only good thing that happened

during those three hours of watching that fucking game. But anyways, I gotta tell you, Good thing that happened during those three hours of watching that fucking game but Anyways, I got to tell you is as bad as As bad as the the feeling I had when the Patriots lost The one thing that cheered me up was watching that Carolina fan fall out of the fucking stands That was one of the funniest fucking things I've seen in a long time. He just completely he missed timed when the player was coming down. I think he just ran down and he just misjudged where the rail was and he just slammed into it and just went

right up and over straight up and over. I mean, if you put a coat rack on wheels, it would have landed lighter than this guy did. There was just nothing athletic about it. It was just all fucking, was it a inertia? Is that the proper physics term? He just ran down. I just wish I could have heard his thoughts when he was at the tipping point, when his legs were right up, but pointing at the 12 and his head was at six o'clock. Right as it started to come around to about 11.45. You know he was lying to himself, hanging on to the rail, like I got this, I got this. Ah, fuck.

Oh, it is stupid dad jeans, just shooting up in the air, right from the gap and just fucking lands on the ground. I liked when he got up too, and then he tried to like climb back up in the stands and that dude was there like, I know buddy, why don't you just walk around? We don't need you falling down again. I'll tell you what the funny thing is, is you know there's going to be some lawyer

scaring the fuck out of the owner of that tape. That emotionalist maniac that they kept cutting to when he would just be sitting there like he was listening to the verdict of his own murder trial. The fuck is with that guy? Is he just focused on the Super Bowl? Everybody in his luxury box is going nuts. He's got his fucking furred up wife.

That's when you know you got money. When your wife has a fur coat and hasn't been spray painted, you know, that's when you know that you guys are living a level of wealth that you don't even run into commoners. Do you, you know, there's always some cunt that's got to come along and fucking spray paint somebody's fur coat, which I've never understood. It's like the animal died and now he's going to throw out a tide.

At least there was a jacket. You know what I mean? Like if somebody came on, killed me and made a jacket out of me, I wouldn't want you to spray paint it. You know, and then they're just going to throw it out. And I'm just like a fucking jacket, you know, on a landfill, right? Floating in the ocean. Let the bitch walk around with it.

Anyways, Jesus fucking Christ. I'll tell you right now, nobody's having more fun in the National Football League. Oh, God, I was watching the game with a buddy, man. We were just throwing out the cliches. He gets it. He gets it. He's the first one here and he's the last one to leave. I'll tell you right now, you give me 22 guys like that. I could coach the state. I'll tell you right now, you have to know where you

are on the field. Why would you run a five yard route when you need six yards for first down? I mean, that just doesn't make any sense. I'll tell you out there, they're just having fun out there. They're just having fun. That's what this game is all about. You're out there, they're loose. He's just out there slinging it. Um, anyways, and just like that, my fucking football season is over.

So who do you like in the Super Bowl? I'll tell you what I don't like. Have you seen that fucking advertisement for Super Bowl 50, the 50s in gold? And for whatever reason, there's this woman standing there looking like the hot chick that walks in in some gum shoe movie from the fucking 1940s. She stayed in there in a rank coat and high heels with like a golden umbrella telling you, it's over. it's fucking over the bills hired a I don't know what they hired they had a woman for some job over it's fucking over it's done it's

done those three hours where you could get away as a married guy you could just get away for three hours it's it's. It's going to sound like the Westminster dog show. In about seven years. You know, we had a great run. We had a great run. And now it's over, you know. But it's our own damn faults. It's our own damn faults.

You know what it was? We just couldn't hide the joy We were having watching football without him We couldn't hide the joy and there's nothing that a noise of fucking woman like a bunch of guys going and having a good time without him So they're in they're dressing in pink for a fucking month. It's it's fucking it's fucking over I for a fucking month it's fucking over. I wish I just knew. I wish I knew that it was going to come to this. I would have tried to enjoy my first 37, 38 years of football. They just flew by. I would have tried to enjoy them a little bit more. Now it's over. We should make a trade. We should just trade

him the WNBA. Just go like, what if we just give you a league that we started? It would be almost like a divorce where you just get it even though you didn't do anything. Or maybe you like emotionally supported the guy or some shit. Whatever the fuck you say at the court, right? You just give them the WNBA. You can be the commissioners, all the owners, the commentators, the refs. You can be everybody in the stands. We'll give you your section of Buffalo Wildlings. You know, just don't take NFL football from us. Can you, can you just not just, can you give us us can you just leave us with that? Can we just have that? Oh, God, maybe I'm just too old to understand it.

Coach, can you tell us what happened there in the first half? Well, you know, we weren't getting it done. We're going to get out there. Maybe try to have a little, you know, I'll tell you right now, no, we just have more fun than me. I just don't know if I'm ready for that. You know, I don't know if I'm ready for that. You know, I don't know. I just, you know, I don't know.

Where do you go now? I guess the only place left is you become one of those weird old guys that plays chess in the park. You know what it is about chess? It's boring and quiet enough that they don't notice that you're over there without them. Enjoying yourself. You know, that's the genius. You ever see a guy who's been married for like 50 years, like the genius of them? I swear to God, the genius of them is they fucking, they know how to have a good

time without their wife noticing. So it doesn't peak her interest, right? She's fucking over in the choir. She doesn't give a shit, right? But young guys, we're idiots. We come home with a big grin on her face talking about how awesome it was and blah, blah. And all they hear is this motherfucker had the nerve to go out for three hours and not miss me and not think about me. Well, we'll see about that, won't we? It's fucking over. It's over just like the Patriots season. So who do you guys like in the, who do you guys like in the, I'm trying to think of an activity that women do, what fucking group that they have that I would like to infiltrate and for the life of me I can't think of it. know, what do you got the, the four H club girl scouting, um, any of those feminist groups,

they'd be a funny thing to join, join one of those fucking groups and act like you're a feminist. You just go down there and you say like the most ignorant, but like yet it's still pro women shit. come down there with a fucking bud tall yeah I just want to say you know I came down here to support you bruhs you know I think it's I think it's fucked up the way the guy treats you you know just because you run around with a skirt and it takes you long to get ready doesn't mean you can't run the company right my right ladies Bill we really appreciate you coming down here. We think what you're saying is positive.

We just, just some buzz words here that we put into a spreadsheet, a little pamphlet thing that we'd like you to look at. Maybe you could not say them the next meeting. Maybe take a couple of weeks off. Oh no, no, I'm showing up every week. Wait for them to kick me out. Then I sue them for being sexist. I'm just a grumpy old man. That's all it is. wait for him to kick me out then I sue him for being sexist.

I'm just a grumpy old man, that's all it is. I'm a grumpy old man who wants things to stay the same. You know, do I make any money off the NFL? I don't. I do have the mute button. You gotta love the mute button. Anytime they cut to the chick on the sideline, I just fucking, I hit mute. You know, just trying to keep it going, you know, just for another couple more weeks. How come we can't blah, blah, blah? Okay, alright, Jesus Christ. I think it really comes out. What are you going to do? It's, you know, it's fucking over. It's our own goddamn faults.

It's our own goddamn faults. We just had too much fucking fun without them. So you know, the next thing we start, just you come home, you tone it down, fucking tone it down. Anyways, let's plow ahead here. So I still haven't even said, what is it, the Super Bowl? Who do you like? Panthers or Broncos? You know, I was impressed that the Panthers fucking were kicking the shit out of Arizona

and they didn't take their foot off the gas pedal this week. I don't know, but the Broncos have that fucking defense. But our offensive line stinks. It doesn't stink, we're just banged up. So I don't know. I don't know how good the, uh, I don't know. I don't know. You know what? I don't even fucking know. I'm still so fucking annoyed by that goddamn. The finality of not even that we lost because I felt Denver was the better fucking team. God damn mother fucker. All right, that's it. Plowing ahead. Oh, by the way, did I mention I saw the hateful eight? Did anybody see that? Did anybody see the

hateful eight? I can't remember if I talked about it. I saw it in 70 millimeter at the arc light here in, uh, in Los Angeles. Um, it had an intermission and it had an overture in the beginning. There were no coming attractions because who the fuck's gonna shoot that 70 millimeter, right? And I absolutely fucking loved that movie. From start to finish, I love the pacing of it. I loved the whole, I just loved, I loved it. I just, the whole, it was just an experience. Like Tarantino was like, I don't give a fuck about your cell phone, how your fucking brain is all scrambled now, cause you're looking

at an iPad screen all goddamn day long. I don't give a fuck. The movie's this long, this is the movie I wanted to make, and you can settle the f*** in or leave was it just an experience i absolutely f***ing love that movie um oh speaking of speaking of ipads you see when the patriots ipads went out that was strange huh through the broncos go out been that weird that's just one of those strange things just one of those fluke things that happen to happen and it's all good it's all good. It's all good. Cause it happened to the Patriots

now had it happened the other way around and it was in our stadium. Oh Jesus, how many months would ESPN talk about that? You know, Verzi called me today instead of former quarterback. I think it was for the giants. I don't even know what we're saying. Like, yeah, we used to take air out of the ball all the fucking time. Everybody did it and everybody does it once again. And I know you guys are like oh Jesus Bill How long are you gonna harp on this? Well, they talked about it for fucking eight months. You know, I think since You know the judge threw it out of court. I mean it hasn't been eight months since then has it September October November December January you got another three months of this shit

Anyways enough of that shit. I, oh, by the way, I started that, that, that series Top Boy, T.O.P. Boy on Netflix and fucking great show. Two episodes in enjoying it. But Jesus Christ, you got to put on the fucking subtitles. Good Lord, mumbling fast as fuck. It's almost as bad as Peaky Blinders, but Peaky Blinders you're gonna understand this shit was supposed to happen like a hundred years ago.

This shit here as far as I can tell is supposed to be going on right now and I still can't understand them. I don't think they say in it enough. Stamps.com everybody, here we go. A little advertising for this week. All right. Here we go. You know it would be cool though if there was a female like Vince Lombardi who came in. You know what I mean? And she had the exact same like demeanor. Grab, grab, grab. Nobody tackling out there. What the hell's going on? Today will be the greatest day of your life.

Believe it! You know, they'll start having, they'll have their classic sinks. All right everybody, grab a towel, cover your dicks. Let's, let's focus on next week. Um, oh, by the way, uh, I want to thank, uh, Brian Tishy for letting me be a part of the Bonzo bash this past Friday night. I got to go down there and co-host it with him and, uh, just the amount of drummers that I saw that night and I got to stand behind them. There's any YouTube video You're gonna see my dumb fucking head just staring at their bass drum foot

These are some of the guys that played last Friday night Stephen Perkins James Addiction Chad Smith from the Chili Peppers Dave Lombardo from Dead Cross and Slayer Smith from the Chili Peppers, Dave Lombardo from Dead Cross and Slayer. Who else I'm going for memory? Oh, there's a guy, Greg Potter from the Buddy Rich Band. Guy plays in the Buddy Rich Band and crushed a Zeppelin song. That's pretty much running the gamut. Simon Wright. Last time I saw Simon Wright play, I saw him on the Who Made Who Tour. Rob Afuso from Skid Row. Last time I saw him, they opened for Aerosmith, New Year's Eve, 1989, December 31st at the Boston. Will Calhoun was there. Brad Whitford from Aerosmith, Carmen, uh, apasy.

Oh my God. Ray Luzier from Corn absolutely destroyed Achilles last fan. It's got John Hummel I never heard of. Fucking destroyed Cashmere. Just so many fucking amazing drummers. And I actually got to sit in, which is fucking hilarious. I got to sit in between guys at that level. I played that song off of the presence album For Your Love and I'm sorry For Your Love For Your Life. And I want to thank everyone in the Moby Dicks for helping walk me through that song.

You know what it was? I fucked up a lot during the song, but I nailed the arrangement as far as like all the changes I was on it for that. And I find that if you do that, that people in the crowd don't notice that you fucking up the fills. There was like one big fill and I fucking rimmed out on the thing. I was so fucking pissed. Um, what are you going to do?

But it was, uh, it was just a fucking amazing night and, uh, four hours fucking long watching these guys and they had this. Bonham fucking Vista light set the exact same style kit that he had if you watch the song and the song remains the same and this the fucking kick drum was wide open they had nothing in there they didn't even have a felt strip going across it it was one of the sickest sounds I've ever heard in my life. Big 26 inch kit. They had the two timpani's to the left of the hi-hat

and then the fucking gong. And I'm so pissed at the end of the song, I didn't hit the fucking gong. How many fucking opportunities do you get to do that? And I blew it. But I just had the best time doing it. And then of course, I'm driving home. It was down in Anaheim, and I'm driving home.

And the best thing about driving home at night in LA is there's finally no traffic. And I'm fucking cruising. And all of a sudden, the fucking five just comes to a grinding halt. And three, four lanes merge down to one and then are forced off of the highway into like a neighborhood.

Because the only time they obviously that they can fix the highways is at night. So I have empathy for these state workers out here, but sucked from me and I completely I had like a fucking meltdown for about five minutes. And I was texting everyone that I got a number from that was on the show telling them not to get on the five and uh... fucking brutal. Now what's again, I just don't understand why people buy fast cars out here unless you have a pickup truck with a trailer and you can drive that car you can tow the car to a racetrack. I just don't understand you know these fucking cars you see out here that can go like 180, 160, 200 miles an hour, some of these fucking cars. It's like, where are you doing that? I don't know.

It's fucking ridiculous. I beeped at this lady today. I was probably a dick. I just really, I can't fucking stand people when they sit at a goddamn red light. You're right behind them. And then when the light turns green, they put on their fucking left turn signal. And then you beep at and they're like What the fuck it's like you give me a heads up? Give me a heads up so I could have backed off and gone around you you fucking dick now the 20 people behind me You're gonna go by I'm gonna miss the fucking light now. I'm on your schedule You know like that that's never happened to you you've never been the person behind that person you don't fucking remember now

You're first in line. You just say fuck it the person behind that person you don't fucking remember now you're first in line you just say fuck it sorry most of this shit everything that I'm saying women in the NFL all of this shit most of this shit has nothing to do with the it has to do with the fact that my team lost you know so now I'm just fucking grumpy anyways today would be the best day of your life, but only if you win. Let's win one for the Kipper. All right. Oh, hey, I'm going to be playing out live again. If you guys, uh, and do a standup.

Oh, Dean Delray. Dean Delray's, uh, 50th birthday. You got to come down to this at the L-ray theater delray at the l-ray uh... it's going to be an unbelievable fucking lineup of uh... comedians and musicians to celebrate dean delray's fiftieth birthday and of course my fucking internet cuts out i finally had the fucking thing finally had it had it all fucking lined up

i was ready to read off the whole thing and what happens? It just fucking disappears. You fucking cunt. All right. Well, this is what I know. Joe Rogan's going to be doing some stand up there. I will be on it. Chris Delea. Let me get to the flyer here. Let me get to the flyer. There it is. There's the flyer. All right. Brian Redband, Joe Bartnick.

Rosebow, Tailgate legend, Joe Bartnick. Dean Delray's gonna be there. And after we do a bunch of stand up, we're gonna do some, from what I heard, there's going to be all these musicians there and they're going to play the entire Highway to Hell album. Rudy Sarzo's going to be there from Ozzy Osbourne. Dave Kushner from Velvet Revolver and the guy who does the music for F is for Family.

Dave Lombardo, Tracy Guns, Gilby Clack from Guns N' Roses. It's gonna be fucking sick. It's gonna be a lot of fun. So come on down February 2nd. You can get tickets at goldenvoice.com. All right, let's continue on here with, with the, uh, with the podcast. What else did I want to talk about? Is there anything, anything at all?

Is I, if I, as I settle into the fact that my fucking football season is over. Um, oh Jesus Christ, the Patrisso Neil benefit. How the fuck did I almost forget that? Um, late gray Patrisso Neil, the, I think this is the fourth one we've done. Yeah, 13, 14, 15, 16. Yeah. This is the fourth one. It's already flying by. It's sold out. There will be a few tickets released at the, right before the show starts. There's always a few people that request the tickets and then they don't show up so there's a chance if you walk up there

might be some tickets. It's gonna be an amazing lineup and as always, other than the money that we use to pay to rent out the theater, all money goes to Patrice's loved ones and it's really made an unbelievably positive effect on their lives. You know, his mom has been able to get a condo and his stepdaughters is going to private school since the benefit and just the quality of their lives basically stayed the same. You know, Patrice was taking care of them. So it's really, it's the greatest thing that I'm involved in during the course of the year. And I'm so happy that you guys step it up every year

and buy tickets. So I want to thank everybody who bought tickets. It means the world to me and everybody involved and all the comics that take time out of their schedule to come down there and perform. And it's just a, it's just an awesome thing thing and we're just going to keep doing it as long as you guys keep showing up. Alright, so thank you. Thank you for that. And with that, let's get into some of the reads here for this week. Alright, what are we up to here?

33 minutes. Alright, alright. Hackey hate. Hey Bill, how are you? He says I am not a Patriots fan. I am a Die Hard Bears fan. After the Patriots lost, all I saw on Facebook was people trashing Brady and bringing up

Trump and the Flake Gate. I get it. They're on top most of the time and people love to trash him or whoever is winning at life. Now let's stop giving excuses to these pansy ass fucking sports fans who spent, sports fans who spent 90% of their fucking time talking about gossip. It all gets classified under gossip.

Every hack who is, who was a static that the Patriots lost is an asshole. Especially the ones who will declare they could care less about sports. Congrats, you're about as cool as the guy who paints his face. The only time I talk shit about the Patriots is to remind them of 1985, even that's pretty weak go bears. Yeah, but you know, if you're on top, you got to expect that people are going to give you shit. The only thing I didn't like was, was when the, uh, Broncos

defense, you know, we're getting sick of hearing about Tom Brady. It's like, well, then win a fucking Super Bowl, win four of them and they'll talk about you. The Patriots never talked shit about the Broncos. They never said that they were better than the Broncos. And I also loved too, it's just like, you know, they were favorites. They were like the Patriots made themselves favorites. You know, it's really overrated is, is being a favorite or being an underdog has nothing to do with your team. It has to do with the fucking dope in the Buffalo Wild Wings who's betting on games. All right. What Vegas tries to do is they try to get money on both sides of the ball.

So they try to pick a number. All right, that's gonna entice people to go 50-50. That's why the line changes during the course of the week. Did one team get better or another team get worse? I mean, if there's an injury, yes. But generally speaking, no. What happens is there's too much money going to one side So they need to entice people to come back the other side

Because if if you know that you can't have like 90% of the money on one side of the ball that could completely fuck over the gambling ring or The they don't like those odds and because ties lose that's enough to tip it in their fucking favor That's basically what goes on, which is why, you know, if you look back in 07, when the Patriots beat the Giants the last game of the year and the Giants put up like fucking 33 or 34 points and we only won by like three or something, that's why like a month later, we were still 14 point favorites. It had no, the Patriots are overhyped. They weren't overhyped. What happened was

the Super Bowl brings out people who don't know shit about football. All right, it brings out the fucking ladies. It brings out all, you know, there's nothing worse than a Super Bowl party if you give a shit about football. If you really like the Super Bowl, if you really like football, if you really football fan, you watch it alone or you watch it with like two or three other people that keep their fucking mouth shut, right? But what happens is during the Super Bowl, that brings out all the fucking, the novice fans that people don't even watch and all they see is 18 and all, are they know Brady? Like they know, they know Tom Brady the way I know Darth Vader. All right. I can't tell you a fucking thing about the last like I don't even

know how many there's been since the original three I know Vader is fucking Luke's father and that fucking Luke and Leia a brother and sister and that they kind of had like this sexual tension and wanted to fuck each other in the beginning, which I think is a really weird thing to put into a kid's movie, don't you? Maybe he didn't know that when he initially wrote it, and then he just needed a good left turn

when he was writing the second one. I have no fucking idea. But I think the way he tried to make it up was with those gerbils in the third one. Going woo, what the fuck they did, you know, I don't know what the fuck they did. So anyway, so that's as much as I know about Star Wars. These people know about football. So then they come in, they go to Vegas and everybody goes in and thinks that they're

fucking Sean Connery and James Bond. Right? They weigh, you know, they fucking go down there and they got some I'm in Vegas suit on their wife's wearing some fucking, you know, sparkly number and everybody's out there, you know, stepping outside of themselves and it's like, I want to gamble. I want to get in the action. Who's playing? I don't know who that other team is. I know Tom Brady is. Let me, uh, let me put a hundred bucks on his, on the cleft of his fucking chin. And that's how the line goes from what it should be, about three, four points to all the way up to 14.

That's what the fuck happens. All right. And that was for everybody who doesn't fucking gamble. Okay. All right, Bill, enough already. We get it. Your team lost and you're fucking, you're in a cunty mood. Thank God that guy fell out of the stands.

He didn't even look that drunk. I just loved his fucking gap jeans, just fucking straight up in the air. All right, next question here. Oh, by the way, if you'd like to donate to this podcast, all you gotta do is just go to, next time you go to Amazon, if the next time you're gonna buy something on that,

just go to my website, billbird time you're going to buy something on that, just go to my website, billbird.com, click on the podcast page, and then you just click on the Amazon link. It just takes you there. It doesn't cost you any extra money. You might, you know, later on in life, if your index finger wears out, you might think like, you know what, if I didn't do those extra two clicks with my index finger, maybe I would have had another 10 minutes of joy and no fucking constant pain in my index finger.

Other than that, there's really nothing. I even do it. I even go when I go to Amazon. Well, why wouldn't I? I guess I get the money, right? You know what I did? I went on there and I fixed my fucking cooler. I don't know what the fuck happened to my cooler this year at the Rose Bowl. It's been to every Rose Bowl that I've been to, and I've been to eight of them at this point, and I never had a fucking problem.

And at some point, like my cooler basically, it opens up to a point, you know, the hinges stop it from opening, and then there's a strap to keep it from going any further. And I don't know what happened, because I fucking passed out like at like 10 o'clock in the morning. So I didn't even notice that my cooler was fucked up, but at the end of the night when I got my cooler back, it had basically been decapitated.

The strap was busted and the hinges were busted. And I was like, what the fuck? What happened? You know? It's like the Hulk opened the thing up or something. It's just like, just open it a little, it's fine. But then I was thinking, well, when I fell down was I was drunk, did I land on the cooler?

And it's like, no, I wouldn't notice that. I landed flat on my, I landed like that fucking guy. When he fell out of the stands, that's how I fell. I fell on the grass. Do you realize I was on a fairway, a straight fairway golf course, and I lost my balance and fell down. That's how fucking drunk I was. And you know what was on a fairway, a straight fairway golf course and I lost my balance and fell down. That's how drunk I was. And you know what? It was fucking great. So anyways, I went to,

oh, actually I didn't go to Amazon. I just looked up Igloo Cooler Repair Kit and they got like, there's two different kinds of hinges and I accidentally ordered two of them and I only need one of them So I have an extra repair kit and I know you know the odds and they send you like three sets of hinges you know if you have like the The giant one you know the person who kills his wife and doesn't want anybody to know and just says she's on vacation and he cuts Her up like they have that size hinge for that cooler And then they just got you know the happy drunks that falls down on New Year's Day, you know, so they come with three sets of hinges for each. So I have an entire extra one. So anybody out there who has like a cooler that needs to be

replaced, it comes with everything even like the drain little drain hole fucking spout thing. It's got that the strap does come separately. I don't have an extra strap, but I have an extra repair kit. So if anybody wants it, send us an email with an address and I'll send it out to you. Cause what else am I going to do with it? I'm not going to throw it out. And someday if I ever move, you know, I got to pack up something that I don't even fucking need. So there you go. Oh, by the way, I'm still in the running here to maybe get this drum room made slash podcast room in the back of my garage.

As always, there's major, major fucking structural issues. But I don't know, I just got to, gotta I gotta show up that part of the house, but there's all these these all these fucking issues that I can't even talk about because you know, I'm getting a permit, I'm doing all that fucking shit. I know somebody like oh, you don't need a fucking permit if you're building within the structure, if you're not adding any square footage, but I know all that shit, but like, I just, you know, anytime you start hammering in your fucking garage, your neighbors hear it, they fucking rat you out. I just don't need the fucking headache.

So I'm doing my due diligence and it's taking a long time, but I'm gonna make this, I'm gonna make this fucking happen. And I have a 71 Ludwig green sparkle, all bottom sized drums, and I'm gonna make sure that I'm gonna make this fucking happen. And I have a 71 Ludwig green sparkle, all bottom size drums, and I'm gonna make sure that they fucking fit in there. And I'm gonna fucking, I don't give a shit. What do I care, right?

You know, the oceans are all fished out. The government takes all your fucking money, you know? I don't give a fuck. I'm going all out with this thing This thing I'm literally gonna be able to play I'm gonna tell this guy if I'm able to do this and I'm not gonna have a fucking problem legally and I can build the fucking thing I want to build I'm literally gonna be able to play at 2 o'clock in the fucking morning and no one's even gonna hear it

They might it might sound like a stereo zone really low But I'd never be a douche enough to play then At least sober. That'll be great then, right? Anytime I'm bugging my wife, I can just walk out the back door, go into my garage, sit down and put on a Zeppelin album, Guns N' Roses, fucking, oh my fucking shit I listened to when I was growing up, Queens of the Stone Age, you know. What else do you fucking need? Oh, you know what else I need. I need a bar out there, right?

Flat screen TV. You know what's funny about a man cave, when somebody really throws down in their fucking man cave, all I hear is, I am not happily married. And what you're doing is you're building a mini version of what your life would look like if you weren't, what your house would look like if you weren't married. Like after you show them the house with all the throw pillows and all the fucking popery and all that shit, you bring your buddy out to the garage and you're just like, yeah, if I wasn't married, like this is what it would look like. But you know, it's funny about that. I'm old enough to know that if your house did look like that, the ice,

I see the loneliness in it. Because the bottom line is a man cave. What it is, is like, what you're building is what you wish you had. You wish you could afford when you were fucking 22 years old. That's basically it. And the problem is, is if you do it honestly, if you actually work your balls off, you know, and you don't steal from anybody or any of that fucking shit, it's going to take you to your about 50, unless you're one of these fucking nerds in Silicon Valley that comes up with an app or some shit You know, you really don't get paid until you get close to 50. That's just how it is

You know, it's just how it is Except for Cam Newton. He's getting paid around day right now. Nobody's having more fun than that guy if you look up fun in the dictionary Anyways, I Yeah, I'm gonna fucking make a little podcast thing. I mean, I don't have a lot of room, but I'm gonna fucking do it upright and, you know, getting back and taking lessons again. Dude, the shit that I'm actually paying attention to now that I never paid attention to, how I hold onto the sticks, where I'm hitting the snare drum, my balance, all of that shit. It used to be all about going on YouTube, seeing some guy do one of those gospel chop fucking licks and I'm going to go down here and fucking just do this for fucking nine

days in a row. And then I'll be able to do that, you know, pull this fill off next time I walk into guitar center. able to do that, you know, pull this fill off next time I walk into Guitar Center. And, uh, and then meanwhile, all my other playing sucked. And, uh, I've just had this total epiphany about all of it. And, uh, it's funny. I'm not doing nearly as much as I used to do, but I think I'm playing better than I ever played. And, uh, I don't know.

It's fucking exciting. It gives me a reason to get up in the morning, you know? So anyways, let's move on to the next question here. Oh my God, did I tell you guys how I butchered that fucking pork chop meal that I made? Still sick over that. I'm like, I'm eating pork chops again this week because I have to redeem myself.

All right, so the hacky hate thing. Yeah, that just kind of comes with winning games or whatever. All right, no Asian diversity at the Oscars. Bill, hello from Canada. Would love to hear what your take is on why no one is complaining about the lack of Asians at the Oscars. Oh, you motherfucker, that's the bit I was gonna do. That was the bit I was gonna do.

Yeah, that's, he goes, as an Asian, I don't care because A a I suspect we are producing good enough shit not to not we're not producing good enough shit not because we're Asian be Asians aren't getting sweet roles because I'm not profitable. They aren't going to cast an Asian parentheses or black or female actor that would make more money out of some white conspiracy. Dude, you had like fucking two sets of parentheses in there. Asians aren't getting sweet roles because it's not profitable. They aren't going to not cast an Asian or black or female actor. They aren't going to not cast an Asian actor

that would make more money out of some white conspiracy. So you're saying if they would make a money, then they would. See who cares. If you don't like how the Oscars define the best whatever, I don't get why. And then that's the end of it I see what you're saying well yeah you're looking at it from a very like money like I think that's a lot of times sometimes you know it looks like it's racism a lot of times it's just money but what I think American cinema is finally realizing is that there's a whole bunch of other people in the world that they can actually get money from if they gave a fuck to make

a movie that would appeal to them. And the only reason why I think they're doing that is because everybody stole movies and it's so hard to make money off of them now and there's such a big fucking risk because dollars Star Wars action hero movie or it's like fucking below 10 million dollars it seems. All the way down to like a hundred grand like indie sort of you know micro budget fucking thing. Um. So yeah I see what you're saying yeah I mean I mean, yeah, there's no agents there either. Where's the outcry for that?

Well, people don't, people give a fuck about themselves. That's the one thing that I can say about people in general, straight across the board, you know, which is why I guess white people need because they're running shit, quote, running shit, you know what I mean? Like they're all cooperating with one another because there's white people in those positions. They need to take the time to actually give a fuck about all this stuff.

Cause I gotta be honest with you. I thought that kid that played EZE in Straight Out of Compton, he should have gotten nominated. He was the fucking shit in that movie. I should know that actor's name. He was, you know what? God damn it. Why don't I step outside my whiteness?

I'm gonna I'm gonna set the example here right now and I'll tell you right now There's nobody having more fun right now Going on the internet than this guy you look up fun on the internet. There'll be a picture to me easy E actor me easy actor Eric Lynn Wright is here Jason Mitchell on playing easy that fucking guy was he should have got something he even get a Golden Globe did he get nominated for that that was one of those movies that I actually didn't even want to see there was some line that what's his face Giamatti said, you know me again? That's when he yelled whatever the fuck he yells, I got Jesus Christ. This this looks really heavy handed. You know what I mean? And then they always have to have the, you know, they always have to have the white, white angel in those movies when they show racism.

So then white people will go so they can lie to themselves and be like, yeah, if I was there, that's the white guy I would be. I'd be the angel white guy. I wouldn't be the, you know, the racist guy. Yeah, no, it's a very interesting, the whole fucking thing is really interesting. I don't know. I have no idea. I mean, I think you shouldn't just say, look, black actors should be nominated. You should fucking then back it up. You know what I mean? And give shout outs to people that fucking deserve. You should be like, Jason Mitchell playing easy, straight out

of comp. Now who the fuck is going to say he of them got something? Or maybe they did do that. I gotta be honest with you, I don't really pay attention to award shows. I fucking can't stand them. They're horrific. They're fucking horrific. They're boring as hell. There's usually one moment that's worth fucking watching.

And with the internet, you're not gonna miss it. They're just gonna show it to you. So why would you waste four hours of your life watching the shit? Like for the Golden Globes, the moment of the night was Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey stole that even that fucking speech was hilarious. And from what I've heard from people out here, he just winged that thing. That's how fucking funny that guy is. And watching him do that and the brutal honesty of it really made me wish I could still watch him do stand up to be honest with you. All right, here we go to your health. Good sir. Bill, I've heard you discuss many topics with with yourself on the podcast about health

and longevity of the major topics, i.e. food and exercise. I would have to suggest considering another area to focus on breathing. Oh, Jesus, I got to work on this too. Breathing is huge. How you breathe and the types of breaths you take during the day to really change your body for the better. I just literally thought about breathing. I got more relaxed. This is this yoga shit that I try to slow my brain down from. Conscious breathing. Conscious breathing. Are you gonna plug your book in the middle of this?

You motherfucker, you know what? You got me, you suckered me in, but I'm gonna read it like deep thoughts by Jack Handy. Here we go. Conscious breathing is a book in a great place to start. Also a man by the name of Wim Hof is doing amazing things and has been on Joe Rogan's podcast. You may not have three hours to listen to it, but if you run into Joe, I'm sure he can give you the breakdown.

Thanks for the free laughs. Um, no, I'll listen to anybody that's on Rogan's podcast. Joe Rogan's podcast, the fastest fucking three hours you're ever going to spend, you've ever, ever lucky enough to be a fucking guest, you can be like, ah, I've been here like 40 minutes and then all of a sudden you're like, how the fuck is it like seven o'clock at night? Like I missed, uh, I missed my meal. Um, well, I'll get, I'll give meal. Well, I'll give it a chance. I'll give it a try.

I know, I definitely need to fucking stress less. And that's always like one of my goals. I haven't been drinking this year though. The day after the Rose Bowl was the last time I boozed. I had one gulp of wine after I made this really rich dinner in my stomach, I needed to settle it So my wife was drinking some wine. I just took a gulp of that and Then the last three nights in a row. I'm getting rid of these Rose Bowl beers. I just drink like one light beer

I just have one and then then I'm done and it just kind of makes me sleepy But I'm just trying to free up some room in the fridge because every year at at the end of the Rose Bowl, I get stuck with all the extra beers and like fucking 15 cans of half used mustard. I get all the condiments in a broken cooler. All right, trash in the ocean. Hey Bill, I know you talk about this all the time on your podcast, but believe it or not, there are people who do not believe our trash being dumped in the ocean is a problem. Well, there's always going to be those people. There's also people that thought the fucking world was flat. Well, I guess I would have thought the world was flat if I lived back then. People didn't think that we were, we were earning an effect on the climate. You know, all the fucking trees that we've cut down that alone.

You know what I mean? Alright, anyways, he says, there was another scientific study done, if you believe in that kind of thing, that states plastics will outweigh fish in the ocean by 2050. Yeah, I saw that. I don't think that that's going to happen because I have a feeling that mother nature has had enough with us and will, you know, and they keep predicting by 2090, the population will more than fucking quintuple. I think that, you know, we're already long past the tipping point. Scientists have said we're past the point where we can even fix this fucking thing. So I, this is like when you can't do your homework.

At some point you're like, maaah! And she comes down and helps you out. I think Mother Nature is going to do that. And she's an old school mom and she's going to slap the shit out of us. But you don't need to listen to me say this. Just listen to George Carlin He'll tell you all about it. All right. He said I guess these assholes assume They'll be dead by then and don't give a shit

Long-time listener here. Just saw you in Indie back in October. I can assure you we aren't all ignorant KKK asshole or Jim Ursa fans, you know, you know, I just say that just a fuck with you. Jesus Christ. I grew up outside of Boston I just say that just to fuck with you. Jesus Christ, I grew up outside of Boston. Half the people in the clan would go there and be like, all right, hey, take it easy. You know, easy. I understand, but easy. All right, thanks to go fuck yourself. And then they sent me the unbelievably depressing link, which I don't even go to them anymore. I don't even go to them anymore because all they do is depress me. All right, average amount of waste produced by humans. Jesus Christ, we're just staring into this. Hey Bill, I'm from Columbia and love your podcasts and you stand up comedy. Hey, that's fucking great. Oh, you're from Columbia. I thought

you were down there listening. But whatever, you're from there, right? You live there at some point, you're still listening to the podcast, it's still cool. He goes, the, or she goes, I don't know who the fuck wrote this. He goes, the other day I was wondering how much poop is produced by humans on a daily basis. And I did a little research on the internet and some calculations which I would like to share with you and your audience. Okay. According to the world fact book, the world population consists of

7,174,611, wait a minute, 7 billion, 174,611,584 people and the average human being weighs around 62 kilograms. Oh, you motherfucker. I don't want to know what that is in pounds. I got to switch that over. I want to see where the fuck I'm at. Wait, what did you just say? 62. What do you guys think the average person who I didn't say the average person weighs about 100, a lot of starving people. I'll go 162 pounds.

What do you say here? All right, 62. And LBS. All right. That's equal to 136 pounds. Holy shit. God damn it, there's a lot of small or starving people in the world. All right. Now the average, that means I am right now, I'm like 40 pounds over the average and the average human being. All right. Now the daily average for stool gross is one ounce per 12 pounds of body weight, which means the average person poops 11.39 ounces.

Therefore, each day the planet receives 2,295,876 metric tons of shit. But since the average stool is 75% water, dude, this is gross. It would be safe to say that humans produce 1,000,000, 721,907 metric tons of poop every day. Jesus Christ. You're really taking all the fun out of this podcast to put this in perspective. I think you put it into perspective, but he's going to keep going. The Empire State Building weighs 350,000 tons. So human beings puke the equivalent of five giant turds the size of the Empire State Building. If we add farts to the equation, this fucking dude is all in.

The average person farts 17 times a day. That's it. Try eating a salad, fucking double your numbers. You break Dan Moreno's record. Times 17 times a day producing a liter, a liter of fart in total. A liter, L-I-t-t-e-r that's a litter of fart in total which gives a new meaning to a breathing fresh air i have included the links where i got the information

at the end of this email and when you think about it on top of eating our own rollerblades we're eating our own shit. By the way, everything you read or hear about Columbia is true. Go have a meaningful experience with yourself. Does that mean go, oh, that means go fuck yourself. This guy is a clever son of a bitch. Jesus Christ. Well, you know what? Hey, how about I end the podcast with what I promised to do last week, which is I was gonna start reading segments from the Bible. Now granted, I don't own a Bible. All right? Let's start with John 316, because I'm a sports fan. John 316. He said it unto you with. All right, John three, 16, for God so loved the world that he gave his only is one and

only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish, perish, but have eternal life. Well, that's straightforward. He let his kid die. So as long as you believe that that happened, you will not die, you will have eternal life. You will live forever. Think about that forever. You know, you have been at the DMV. Just imagine that except it never ends. Right? What the fuck would you do forever? Right? What the fuck would you do forever? There's no way that that's fucking true. You know, movies don't go on forever. Planets don't go on forever. Or livable planets don't go on forever. How fuck this? This is why I don't read the Bible. I don't fucking get it. Let's just look up Bible passages.

B-I-B-L-E. You'd be funny if this actually got me back to going to church. I still love going to church. You know what I mean? I still like going. You know? Keep in mind that Jesus Christ has died for us and is risen from the dead. All right, encouraging

Bible verses, hope Bible verses, Bible verses by friendships Bible verses. Let's give hope. Encouraging. Well, where the fuck is it? Ah, I just want to open it like the phone book. The Bible. I'm gonna look up the Bible, please. Read the Bible. WW double, a free Bible on your phone. I don't want it. I want it on my fucking screen. I want Hamburg. No with cheeseburg. Official Kim James Bible.

Want amber know what cheeseburg official Kim James Bible Commit thy way unto the Lord trust also in him and he shall bring it to pass Bring what? Commit thy way unto the Lord all right so walk in the general direction of the Lord trust also in him Well, if I'm walking towards him, aren't I, isn't that trusting him? What do you think? I'm creeping up on him. Hey man, just make it sure everything's cool. I'm walking your way, but you know, just wave your white flag. Don't open a trap door when I get there, dude. And he shall bring it to pass. Genesis, I remember reading this. It like makes sense for like three fucking sentences. And then you just like what in the beginning God created

the heaven and the earth and the earth was without form and void and darkness was upon the face of the deep period. The deep what? And the spirit of God moved upon. That's like when they go, you know, they got to eat up some clock. Darkness was upon the face of the deep and the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. I thought there wasn't any. Thought there wasn't any water, wasn't anything. How was there water for his face to be on? And God said, let there be light and there was light. Let there be sound. There was sound. Is this Bonskott? God said, let there be light and there was light. Well, what was he doing before that? He was just sitting in the darkness all by

himself. Just one day he's laying there going, I'm going to make some shit. And God saw All by himself It's one day he's laying there guy I'm gonna make some shit and God saw the light That it was good and God divided the light from the darkness God called the light day. It's like Cam Newton everything's about the same guy I'll tell you right now. Nobody's having more fun than God making earth He's like a kid in a candy store that doesn't exist and kids don't exist because he hasn't made it yet. Ah, fuck this Genesis.

Let's look up Job. Let's see what old Job had to say. What the fuck is he? Well, let's read Titus. That's the name of a comic I know. How about that? All right, Paul, a servant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ, according to the faith of God's elect and the acknowledging of the truth,

which is after godliness. I feel like somebody's trying to sell me a car. That was all one sentence. In hope of eternal life, which God that cannot lie promised before the world began. Dude, this is like God called everything, you know, before you even born and all. But hath in due times manifested his words. You know, I thought this would be a funny bit. This is just fucking annoying. But hath in due times manifested his word through preaching, which is committed unto

me, according to the commandment of God, our savior. It just, it just goes in circles to Titus, my own son, after the common faith. He had another kid. He had Jesus, then he had Titus. Grace, mercy and peace. Who were they? Was Grace Grace? Was she another virgin? How many times is he going to use this virgin thing? He banged him. Right? He had Jesus with Mary and then Grace was

his fucking side piece and he had Titus. Right? For this cause left ID and creed that thou should have set in order the things that are wanting and orders elders in every city as I appointed thee. If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children, not accused of riot or unruly. It's not a sentence. Oh, maybe it was back then. You know, if I get judged someday, you know, and God's standing there and being like, I just, dude, I, you know, I tried to get through, I tried to get through the book. I don't know what to tell you. As far as I can, it's a bunch of fragments.

All right. They're not complete thoughts. You know, you can't write just because you put a period at the end of it doesn't make it a sentence. Right? All right. That's the podcast for this week. Once again, congratulations to the Broncos. Congratulations to the lady who got a job. I'm going to end this positive.

Congratulations to the lady who got the job there. The Buffalo Bills. I'm sure you're going to do a great job. I'm just a grumpy old fucking man whose team lost. All right. Congratulations to the Panthers. I look forward to seeing Cam Newton, you know, play against Peyton Manning. It's going to be great. I love that he called him the sheriff. I thought that was cool. You know, the best of the old versus the best of the new. So I'm an old fucker. So'm gonna have to root I got a group for the Denver Broncos the

AFC and Peyton Manning even though I love the Panthers and I love the way they fucking play in their defenses to shit and I don't know I just hope it's a good game I hope the Panthers if they're gonna win or the Broncos I just don't want anybody beating the fuck out of anybody right but I will tell you as always I will be watching it by myself. Okay, I'm not going to, I might go to a Super Bowl party because my team's out of, but I don't think so. I want to see Peyton's last game and I hope he goes out like Elway and I'm going to do what I always do. All right, I'm going to tape the game, you let it go for a good 90 minutes. As I mentioned, you shut your phone off, you

get the grill going, you crack a couple of beers, you know, you make yourself a burger or two, you invite a couple of friends over and then you go, all right, let's sit down and watch it. And you blow through all the fucking beginning and the home of the brave, right? Boom, kick off. And here we we go blow through all the fucking commercials fast forward through Beyonce lip syncing during halftime you'll get caught up halfway through the third fucking quarter and if there were any cool commercials that you missed you haven't recorded but someone's gonna put them up online anyways you're not gonna miss a fucking thing and you can watch the Super Bowl and about I Don't know you can watch it about two

Two hours and 20 minutes two hour two and a half hours. It's fucking tremendous. All right God bless you guys yet. Go fuck yourselves, and I'll check it on you on Thursday. All right What's up everybody and welcome back to the anything better podcast show NFL edition for a championship week. We are down to the final four. I'm happy to be back. I know some of you missed me. I feel better this week. I'm not shitting my brains out and throwing up all over the place. So I still didn't miss a show. Still did not miss a show. You had food poisoning. He still brought himself on to the stage old school. It took a lot.

It took a lot. But I did it. But I went to and to last week. I don't know what I didn't know anything about you guys because I was picked the exact opposite games. And we both went to and to. OK, we went head to head. Like everything that I said is like, Paul's going the other way.

Paul's going the other way. And I was saying, I want a four and oh, and an oh, and four. I don't want two and two. And that's exactly what we got. We both got two and two. I mean, those people in Buffalo, if they have to deal with another wide right, you know what? Fuck them.

Whether they're so sick of everybody acting like they though. Oh my God, it's gotta be so fucking hard. Paul, nobody chants anything at them. Nobody. What do you mean? The fucking Rangers, my whole time growing up, 1940, just rubbing it in your face in some regular season fucking game. They chanted 1918 at the fucking Red Sox.

Dude, look at the Lions. The Lions went 0-16, having sniffed a fucking championship since the 1950s. And I gotta be honest with you too, Paul. Okay, I just want to say this. Okay, I have empathy for them and everything like that, but this whole fucking thing, is it the worst thing ever to be a Buffalo Bills fan? Nobody is giving them shit.

Yeah, so they should scream, are you saying that they should start chanting wide right when they're on the road? I mean, you would think they would, but they don't. Do you know what it is, Paul? I feel bad for him. When I saw that man in the crowd who was like, look at me, he was in his late 20s, early 30s.

Just, he broke down crying. Oh dude, I know. I mean, he was in his late 20s, early 30s, just he broke down crying. Oh dude, I know. I mean, that was fucking pathetic, Paul. The shit that I saw as a fucking Red Sox fan, as a Patriots fan, as a Bruins fan growing up. You didn't break down and cry. Now listen, we were walled off emotionally, but there has been an overcorrection in the American male.

The fact that that guy could start pulling his hat down and openly sobbing in public with a pom-pom hat on is just like, that's, I mean, that's the kind of thing that gets your country invaded. I'm just saying. I'll never understand, although I did cry one time in 1994 when we lost game seven to the Houston Rockets, but I was drunk and I

was a kid. You know, so it's like, and you were like 16. I was hammered. I was like 15 or 16. You know, it was a great Nick's run and I was just, I didn't cry. I was like, but I was like, fucking dicks like shit like that. You got emotional. You got emotional, but that guy, you're right. Game six. I didn't cry. Why the fucking Patriots losses I didn't cry couldn't beat the fucking goddamn Canadians forever anytime we went there fucking building They'd always put on a power play was fucking annoying and cry cry dude. The guy was like What the fuck pull it together I'll pull it together that what are you gonna do wait when when you when there's a fucking flood The last time I saw crying like that was when we saw that guy from Argentina in the World Cup

That's the thing that's the thing that did the fucking a little better I'll give you a little leeway. I'll give you a little leash with the World Cup It's every four years your country might have never, NFL, you're coming back next year. What do you break it down for? What do you do? With parody, relax. It was a bad, look, and I also, I forgive an athlete for crying.

That's your dream. You were that close. I get it. I get that. I don't have a problem with an athlete. But if you're in the fucking stands, Paul, just some regular guy putting his sweatpants on, one fucking oversized leg after another.

I don't wanna watch you fucking, and I don't judge Buffalo Bill fans off of that one fucking guy. I don't. No, you know what I, Bill, you know what I just thought of? How funny would it be? If they got beaten down with wide right chance,

so much that every time a Buffalo guy missed, it always just went hard left because he overcompensated. Yeah. Dude, I went to that Buffalo Bills game. I had a Patriots head on and that dude waited till I had my dick out pissing and he pushed me from behind.

Fuck all this because you lost all of a sudden your salt to the earth people. That just as big a cunt as anybody you find in New York or Real or Massachusetts real New York or Massachusetts because they don't live in real New York. All right. They're basically Canadian I wanted them to go man. I did I was rooting for him I but here's the thing to that fucking wide right is not the reason why they lost that game They needed to bring their a game. They didn't bring their a game. It's true They didn't convert and they fuck how many drop passes that they have how many times the tody rohmer go Yeah, she probably should have had that. Well, how about that bomb that absolute bomb?

I can't remember the last time I saw a ball that high and far and then digs it went in through digs this thing I mean dude you catch that get gotta catch that catch that catch catch that catch us that Jerry Rice, Randy Maul. I said, I just said, you know, who catches that bomb? And he goes, I know, dad, Randy Moss, because he knows how much I love. Yeah, Jerry Rice, one would have caught it. John Stallworth would have caught it. Yeah. Yeah. Drew Pearson catches that boy. You got to catch that fucking ball. Got to catch that bomb. And then you're on the thing to even if that kid made the field goal that did

they weren't gonna chiefs were gonna go right down the fucking field and they were going to score like they did. Who's running back? That's a girl runs like fucking Roger Craig. Isaiah Pacheco, man, kids. I mean, not Isaiah Pacheco. Great. Great. Knees high fucking elbows just tearing through their line. He reminded me of a mod Bradshaw on the Giants like that's those little guys that just run hard and run with the purpose. Nothing he did reminded me of the Giants running game but continue. No you don't know my Bradshaw man that was the guy. When? 2006 to 2009. We lost a

Super Bowl to you then. I don't remember that guy. Number 44. I remember your defense. I remember Eli Manning. Yeah. I wasn't thinking, oh God, not fucking a mod. Brad Shaw, I saw my Brad Shaw at that party,

Willis Whalen hooked us up with. And I walked up to him, he was just sitting there, and I go, dude, you ran so hard for us. Thanks so much. And he was just so he was like, you know, you know me. I love the athletes, but you make a good point, Bill. White leather and athletes. You, you, uh, you make a good point, Bill. The Kansas City chief scored on the first seven drives of the fucking game. Where's the defense? Where's the defense? First seven drive. The bills are still not ready for prime time. They had no business winning that fucking game,

the way that they played. And they're gonna blame this stupid fucking kicker, Sass, right? And he's gonna walk around, laces out for the rest of his fucking life, and everybody's gonna forget all those drop passes. They're gonna forget how they just went right down the field and scored on him. Yeah, get a stop. All right, you missed the field go get a stop three and out get a fucking stop.

They went right down the field Paul like butter on Thanksgiving. Given the kid death threats. What the fuck are you doing threatening the kids life? Assume you know when the coin toss assuming your dad like you really want to. Yeah, so, and then he makes the kick. You assume you're gonna get the coin toss. You assume you're gonna get the ball, get a touchdown and win. Totally disregarding everything

that Kansas City Chiefs could do. It's a rough one, you know? Yeah, they scored like 70 points the last time they were in the playoffs with the Chiefs. They still lost like 71-70. Yep. Yep. And I'm not doing this. I'm not doing, I'm not gonna fucking glorify a fan base

because they don't fucking win. Those guys are just as big a cunts as any other fan base. All right, pushing a man in his back when he has his dick out. I mean, come on, Paul. I mean, where the? Oh, look up. I didn't throw any other bills fan going, hey, hey, let him finish pissing first.

And I was like in my 40s. I was an old fucking man taking a whiz, trying to hope the fucking year went by my swollen prostate and this guy pushes me in the back like he plays for the fucking penguins. You were in a vulnerable position, man. And he took advantage of it. He took advantage of a vulnerable position You don't touch a man with his dicks in his hand. You just don't you just don't

And you know what's up, you shouldn't have to tell people that but evidently you have to tell the people above low that Dude if a mob guy came to put a hit on you and kill you he would be like all right zip up finish up Finish go ahead finish you hungry you want something to drink? put a hit on you and kill you. He would be like, all right, Zippo, finish up. Finish up. Go ahead, finish up. You hungry? You want something to drink? All right. The other game was a weird one because the Texans are in the game at halftime.

10-10, I'm going, oh, shit. And then, boom, Baltimore happened. That's the one that I lost. You won that one. You call that one. Yeah, I thought basically I thought the Texans in Green Bay had their game last two weeks ago in the super far out fucking keep on trucking wild card weekend that the NFL had. Yeah, super duper. Super du. Yeah, fragileistic fucking wild card weekend Yeah, I mean there's enough people that's like fucking the NHL's like a half the fucking league was playing that weekend not the Patriots

but they were right and I thought that that was okay that was They had great games Against teams that can't win wildcard weekend. They're gonna turn into pumpkins And I just thought the Texans were young and I thought green Bay was the same thing and I believe sort of in the 49s 49ers man. They're a weird team, dude. They are kind of crowned Brock Purdy like he's this fucking grizzled vet and As far as I hear with that guy all they're doing is just like hey He's fucking he throws the ball before the guy even makes the cut. We've already talked about that.

That's how you play quarterback. You have to do that at the college level or they'll get knocked out. Unless you play for Yale. Yeah, and going back to the Texans, that's a great year for them. Rookie quarterback, inexperienced coach, they get to that round, they get to the divisional round.

It's a great year for the Texans, but you're not gonna beat an experienced Baltimore team with John Harbaugh and Jackson, I just like the points. I like the nine and a half, but they fucking put it on them I guess we'll make some picks bill We aren't championship weekend We have the Detroit Lions and the 49ers and we have the Ravens and the chiefs in Baltimore. What are the spreads here?

Let's go Andrew. What are the current bet MGM lines here? Three and a half. Three and a half. That's a fun one. I'll tell you this right now, Paul. The chiefs getting points in the fucking playoffs, I believe in the chiefs.

I believe in Patrick Mahomes. I believe in Andy Reed until somebody shows me that I shouldn't. Those fucking guys don't let passes go through their hands. Those guys, you know, when they do that, Paul, they do it in November, when it doesn't fucking matter. But come January, these guys just get fucking locked in. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm not saying they're gonna win the fucking game,

but they're gonna cover three and a half. I think the Ravens defense at home, I think Ravens are different at home, I think it's gonna be a monster game. The three and a half is perfect. It's so perfect. I hate the point five. I hate the point five.

If it's three, I take the Ravens, if it's three and a half, perfect. It's so perfect. I hate the 0.5. I hate the 0.5. If it's three, I take the Ravens. If it's three and a half, I got the Chiefs. I don't think it's gonna be a close game and someone's gonna go into the pre-event, little fucking garbage time back to a cover. That's how I see it, Paul. I agree with you 100%. I think the Ravens are gonna win the game by three or two.

Yeah. You know what would be cool, like this has never happened. Two brothers winning the, in the same year winning the college football championship and then the Super Bowl. That would be amazing. That would be amazing.

But I think Lamar Jackson is gonna be a lot for the one thing that you learned about the shooting. That's the thing I didn't like about their offense. Who? When I was watching the Ravens, as much as they put it on the Texans, so much of it was him dropping back and then taking off and running.

Yeah. Now I don't know, the chiefs don't exactly have a back defense. They don't have a great defense. I don't know. I just get like, that's like college football, like Tim Tebow level offense. You know, I drop back, I look, nobody's open

and then I run for fucking eight yards. Yeah, but the one thing that is about the, that they were saying about the Chiefs and I saw it, you could see it with Buffalo is the Chiefs don't have a good run defense. And I think running the ball. I don't think the Chiefs have had a good fucking defense during this whole time that they've been the top dog

in the AFC. They've never have had a good fucking defense during this whole time that they've been the top dog in the AFC They've never had a lights out fucking defense. No defense is okay, but the no-run defense I like I like Baltimore to win the game. I re-kill they had Kelsey. They had fucking Patrick Mahomes Like they had all of that shit going on and they were You just changed I just changed my mind. I just changed my all through that Paul you fucking you've been killing it This shit. I'll listen to me. I'm gonna some lose some Billy. No, no, no. I'm going against you. I Okay, good. I like that. I like Baltimore to win the game by I think Baltimore is gonna win the game by by they should win The game by a touchdown. I'm being scared. I'm being scared because it's my homes can't lose

Fuck that dude Baltimore is better. They got a better defense their home I'm taking the Ravens and you know what I heard in that they should win that game They said they will they should win that game and that's what fucking happens when people play the chiefs on paper You should fucking beat them in the playoffs and then you don't Well twinkle toes throws a fucking Well twinkle toes throws a fucking You're the guy floats around he's got a dance background, you know does a little soft shoe back there I'm expecting him to have three throws to just do a Michael Jackson

Yeah, the whole thing the way he walks the way he runs the way he throws it's just not it's not it's not the Marvel man back there. You saw that kid on Instagram doing impression of him. Oh dude It was you know my two favorite was that one and then the guy doing a Yolkich is it Jokic a Yolkich I'm not an NBA guy the guy on Denver. Oh yo, it's it's Yolkich. Yeah, yeah, cuz they call him Joker So I always end up fucking it up Yoloke. It's when he was doing like the kind of just throwing it up like that. And he had it. It's like his head, neck, shoulders are all like fused. Like it just, he just, when he walks, it's just kind of like, have you ever seen an NBA superstar champion give a fuck less about his job?

No, you know what the big shame is Jason Lawhead never fucking uploaded his batting stances I saw some guy doing Reggie Jackson the other day. I just it disgusted me compared to Jay Lawhead's I don't know why the fuck he never put those things up. It was when it went viral They were unbelievable. Yeah, they were on fucking people used to come walking over from the other tail gates to watch a case fucking doing Ricky Henderson. Yeah, it's great.

All right, so Bill's got the chiefs. I got the Ravens moving on to the next game. Bill, I've been thinking about this game. I've been driving in the car. I've been thinking about this game. I've been driving I've been thinking about this game and it hit me I'm gonna go as far as to say for me. This is a no-brainer and I know that could be the kiss of death. I Absolutely with all the thinking that I've done with this love Love the Detroit Lions. I Think the Detroit Lions are going there

where house money that the casino gave them. All the pressure is on the 49ers. I think that the Lions got a great quarterback. I think they got a good defense. They got a coach they'll run through a wall for and they are this close. And I love the seven points. I think they could be in that game.

And I gotta be honest with you. I didn't love how the 49ers played against the Packers man. If that kid on the Packers doesn't throw across his body, they have a chance to go down there and win the game with one drive at the end of the game and Debo Samuel, I believe this Jake the Snake can pop in here for our injury report. I believe Debo Samuel is 50% to play and did not look at Jake the snake right now. You tell me he doesn't look like Hugh Jackman. Get ready to play Wolverine. Look at this kid. What's going on? He's single. Get out. Get out through. Yeah, that's the one big injury from this whole weekend is Debo up in the air with a

concussion. But yeah, than that, everyone else is going to play. But yeah, that's a big one for sure. He's a fantastic player. I think the Lions going there Lucy Goosey, and they got an opportunity to take out the big dog at the end of the game. I love the seven points. Your boy Paul is taking the Lions, Bill. What do you got? So we brought up an interesting point about the 49ers. They were saying how they don't play well from behind They haven't had to do that Which kind of goes into my theory that Brock Purdy as well as he's playing he's driving a fucking Lamborghini

And it's kind of like just keep it on the road I Kind of feel like they had this stinker rule last week. I Can see Christian McCaffrey just coming out, going up in the beginning, and I think it stays close for about a quarter and a half, and then they start pulling away and they start going like, you know, with these lines, they don't need to hang your heads. You know, this is something they can build on. Dan Campbell has them believing that they're going to fucking,

da, da, da, I just see it going that way. has them believing that they're gonna fuck a da da da. I just see it going that way. Seven points I do not like. I do not like them Sam, I am. Fuck, that's such a... Once again, if it's six, 49ers all day. You know what, I think the first one's gonna be close. I think Ravens and the Chiefs will be a close one.

And, but I think the 49ers, I don't think this is gonna be close. I think they're gonna pull away in the second half and it's gonna be 49ers versus Chiefs. That's what I see. I do think the 49ers go to the Super Bowl, but I can see the Lions covering in the backdoor cover. So I'm gonna take the Lions with the points

and I'm gonna take the Ravens. What do you think about the conspiracy theory that whatever colors they use? I love that conspiracy theory that whatever the Super Bowl- It's been three years too, I love that. I love how the Super I love that. I love funny like it's like if you're fixing games, what is it? Is it because you want to get caught? Like, why would you do that? Oh, did you see Rashad Jennings, the ex running back? He was watching. He goes, he goes, guys, guys, he goes, can you just tell me why? He goes, why would Tampa Bay not call a

timeout here? He goes, this is the shit that makes people think it's fixed. And he looks at the camera and he goes, which it's absolutely not. Yeah. But what it is is you watch like shit that doesn't make sense. And then you watch human behavior of them like fucking. I think though it's massaged through rule changes

to give, you know, they've definitely like the level of advantage that the offense have had for the last 20 years in order to grow the sport, because they know that offense gets the casual fan. It's the problem with soccer. There's just not enough goals for an American, okay? We like portions. We like big fucking portions.

And if they change that game, either they had a little person in the net or they made the goal bigger I think Americans would start watching if the games were like seven to five Right I agree at what point did you tune out during that Paul Jesus Christ? I felt like I was just fucking no I was I'm taking a job fair. No, I'm taking it. I've done some weight weighting tables and I've I where I worked on the line to a kid. Well, we'll find a place for you. No, no, no, no, I was I was I was no, I was taking it in. I think that there's two types of people that watch a game. I think there's people

that watch people who cry and people who don't. Or like people like when me and you watched that Monday night game at your house and we sat down and we enjoyed the bangles and whatever. Me and you were watching it different than a fucking guy going like, the fuck's he doing? Look at his fucking, like I got friends that do that. Look at his fucking guy. This guy can't, and you're like, you're not. It's like, no, dude, that happened. All watchers. Yeah. It's like that happened because the quarterback had two seconds because the defensive line is bullying the offensive line like that.

Now, fuck that. He doesn't want to be out there. You know, he got a big contract. Yeah. Yeah. The coach doesn't discipline him. That's what like those guys that call up the radio station. I watched a fight on UFC the other night and it was a co-main event and it was this two female UFC fighters going for the, what is it, the fucking, what was Ronda Rousey's?

Bantamweight. Bantamweight championship. And they said that the one chick who needed to win needed to do a certain style in order to beat this Brazilian. And she had to make an adjustment in the fight, which made the fight not as action packed, but made her super smart and control the time and control things. And people are going, oh my god, this woman's fight is the most boring.

I thought it was great. I actually thought it was great. And then the interview, she goes, yeah, she goes, that fight didn't go how I planned it, but I needed to do this and I loved it. All that was online was people going, oh my god, this fucking woman's fight, this might be the worst fight I've ever seen.

I actually thought it was cool how she made the adjustment to win the title. So- Because you appreciate the art of fighting, Paul. I appreciate- All of it, offense and defense. You know, Paul, you're a very fighting, Paul. I appreciate all of it, offense and defense. You know, Paul, you're a very appreciative person. I like it all if it's good, man.

If it's good, you know. Hey, I got one for you. I apologize, people. I'm a fucking little sick here. I got one you got to go back and watch, Paul. Yeah. With your whole fucking Mayweather would have beat Hagler, Hearns, Durand, Leonard. Here's a fight you have to fucking see.

Okay. Yeah, he would have gone for it all. No, I just walked right through that fucking division, even though all of them took losses. That's what you said, Paul. You're forgetting one, but you're forgetting one part of that argument in the steakhouse. You said peekaboo fucking thing. I wouldn't be able to get in with it. No, lawhead and Bartnick got me going, going, they beat the fuck out of that little fuck. That's what got me going. They would

fucking get him in the corner. You match that lack of respect with your own lack of respect. I didn't like the guy that's undefeated and has good defense being thrown in the corner and beating the shit out of like he wasn't a champion. That's made me go. But go ahead. Yeah, that that was that was too disrespectful. You were the first one. I could say this, you were the fairest one at that table because you all look at my complexion. I've always been the fairest of all, even though that's when

Hey, Bill, you're always the fairest. Always the fairest. Bill said, Oh, that was when you said get this kid a month out of the year on the reddest. Bartonik Love when you said get this kid a malt. Three months out of the year, I'm the reddest. Barton and Glover, you said get this kid a malt. But you go, all right, man, I'll give him two and two. You know, I'll give him two and two. All I was saying- I didn't even go three and one. I mean, but there's no fucking way you're fighting

all of those guys. Like the like- Dude, Marvin Hagler went to Floyd Mayweather Junior event. Like all the memorabilia walked up to him and he goes, dude, I'm such a huge fan, would you sign this? You're like incredible. Like Marvin Hagler did that. So it's not like you guys, not you,

but somebody's like, they take that fucking little bitch, throw him in the car. They would beat the fuck out of him. Yeah, yeah, listen, listen, I never said that. And it was also like you started it saying it though. You started with, he would beat all of those guys. Did I say he would or he could? No, to you it was no question.

And then secondly, Marvin Hagler going up to Mayweather and saying that, you have to understand who Marvin Hagler is. All right, they fucked Marvin Hagler on that Leonard fight. They fucked him on that. Like you have to beat the champion. All right, Ray Leonard did not beat the champion. Okay, that was like, if you want, the best I'll give you is that was a draw.

Okay, I won't say that Hagler beat Leonard, but you have to beat the fucking champ to take the belt. They didn't. So what they were doing was they were fucking Marvin Hagler because they figured he'd be so mad he would immediately sign up for a rematch because they were getting up there in age and it's like we wanna get paid twice

and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and fuck this guy's record and all of that shit. So they fucked him. But this is what they didn't realize about him is Hagler didn't give a shit and he didn't give a fuck about money and he just retired and said, I fucking, I'm out of here, right?

So for years after that, Ray Leonard tried to get a rematch with him and he was in Italy, you know, making movies and shit, doing all of that, which is the funniest conspiracy theory ever. Bartnick thinks that Hagler threw the fight so he could do fucking movies in Italy. That's how the mob paid him back. That is the funniest shit ever.

Can you imagine that? You're gonna throw this fight wait, I'm gonna lose the lettered Yeah, but you're gonna be a movie star in Italy Yeah, but if I beat lettered then I beat all four of them and I'm one of the greatest of all fucking time If not the greatest if I do that. No, no, you're gonna throw this fight But here's here's the back you're gonna do Marvin Hagler's good, the bad and the ugly. Oh, okay. Right. Anyway, years later, Hagler came back to the States. He's at some big event and Lender was there and he sent one of his people over there and said, Hey man, you know, whatever you want, let's, let's have another fight. We can make a zillion dollars, blah, blah, blah. The pay per view would be sick. And Hagler said to

that kid, he goes, tell Ray Leonard. I said get a life And that's the thing what it was about him was he was done. No, but he was also at peace He's also like he's one of those guys where talent doesn't scare him so he can walk up To Floyd and ask for his fucking autograph. You think Floyd would ask for Hagler's autograph? No. No. I don't know. But I'm just saying that is like,

you know what I mean? Paul, you've worked with fucking like headliners, right? Coming up. There's some that just say a good job, some that ignore you when you kill them. There's other ones going like, God damn man, you're really funny. What's your name?

Here's my phone number. You need any help, I'll help you out. There's those guys. Hagler was that guy. So here's the fight you got to watch, Paul. And this guy doesn't even get brought up. You got to watch Marvin Hagler versus John the Beast Mugabe. Oh, is this what you were going to say before you said our argument thing? This is... Yeah. What you were going to say before you said our argument thing. This is, yeah. Okay. Watch that fight and know and watch the fucking shots that Mugabe throws and takes and know that that division was so fucking competitive. People don't even bring him's name up.

Yeah. It's heckler, herds, Durran Leonard. There's not enough room. McJohn. It's like testimony. Testimid. They bring up the big four and they leave testament off the fucking list and if they There's not enough room. It's like testimony. Testament, they bring up the big four and they leave Testament off the fucking list

and if they can totally hang with them, it's just not, for some reason, it's Mount Rushmore, right? Mount Rushmore has four guys on it. Four, yeah. When I get reelected, there will be five. Some people saying that my head should be above all the other heads. I don't know.

I don't know, it's my favorite thing ever. I don't know. They should put John McCain's head up there so he looks at it and he's like, who's that? It's like, that's you, sir. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, Paul, Paul, how much are you not gonna watch politics this year? I cannot, I'm not gonna sit here and watch this shit show. I think this is the end. This is like a trilogy. All right, this is fucking. This is when fucking Skywalker and Vader finally fucking this is the rubber match 2016 2020 and 2024. This is the rubber match. What I fucking love was liberals was so fucking excited When he got booted out I was excited too

He's just such a hateful racist fucking guy and giving like a voice to these fucking racist morons, right? It's just horrible. Did you see somebody like that, right? So I was happy when he lost I had no idea that he could run again and not only run again Paul He could win this and then we have eight more years of them So then if it comes like no night liberals we should have just taken our medicine and we would have been done with them No, you can't get eight more. You could only do you could only do two terms total No, but you can come back and then you could you can go back to back

But I I maybe I read it wrong. No, no, no, you can only since he's since he was four years. Here we go. We go. He can't he can't go away No, what you're thinking of is there was Oh my god, Hollywood would have been a living huh was a Roosevelt that did that ended up with the extra term I'm blank and I know Because we were coming out of the depression and then we were in World War blanking. I know this. He went three years in a row because we were coming out of the depression and then we were in World War II. Right, I thought there was one that went for, for space and then two, because they hadn't said,

well, it was consecutive and then they changed it so then it became a poll. Oh yeah, you're only allowed a few other. I'll look into it. I thought it was like refinancing your mortgage where you went back to payment one. And you're like, hey, my payment's lower. It's like, yeah, the fucking interest

is through the goddamn roof. Bill, you wanna know why I'm gonna watch No Politics during this? Because my New York, make no mistake about it, I'm gonna say it now. I'm gonna say it now. And I mean it, I mean it. I don't doubt every year when you say this.

The New York Knicks are now probably the fifth best team in the NBA and they are gonna make one more move by the deadline to get a shooter off the bench, and we are back, dude. We are back, we have- Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Back from what? Back from being the laughing stock in the NBA.

But what are you back to? Relevance. Okay, all right, all right. Well then, we're back to what? Competitive- We're back to being competitive. All right. I just wanted you to say you're talking about his team as 17 fucking championships. Don't sit there and talk to me like that. Don't disrespect me like that. Okay. No, I'm not going at you. I'm not going at you. Like anybody's nervous about the fucking nicks. That's what that's the thing though. Right now you don't want to play the nicks in a playoffs. Yes, we do. No, well, now, now you might, but you just said right now you don't want to play the nicks in a playoffs. Yes, we do. No. Well, now, now you might. But you just said right

now you don't want to play the next in the playoffs. I said, yes, we do. And you said, no, you don't. Then you go, well, not now. No, I'm saying by and by May, when the playoffs come, you're gonna, you know, let me tell you something, Paul, you know what's gonna happen to fucking playoffs? Oh, we'll bet on it. We're gonna go down there dressed like Spike Lee with all your fucking wear, you know, your fucking battalion and all of that shit. You guys are gonna jump up and down. Don't you wish you were playing for the Knicks?

And you guys are just gonna fade away like you always do. You know I'm not gonna be down there dressed. I'm gonna be sitting in front of my TV with my son, biting my nails, yelling at Stacy, not to bother me for three hours. That's what I'm gonna be. All right, fair enough. Fair enough.

I don't hate the Knicks either. I just, the fact that they are still considered just so relevant and so important to the NBA while doing nothing but losing, it's just fucking ridiculous to me. The Madison Square Garden is still, it's a mecca. All a mecca means is it's a place where people go to gather. It doesn't mean like it's oh my god. I can't argue man until they win until they win I get people saying I don't want to hear it because I do that. Muhammad Ali, Joe Frazier made that arena famous. Frank Sinatra makes that arena famous. Well you're also forgetting oh no we got to do this Sunday night parlay. Well don't forget

though you know Clyde Frazier and Earl the Pearl Monroe in the 70s, this is something, you know? I mean, I just a long time ago, but I'm just saying, you know. Paul, can I ask you a question? You remember the 90s when the Houston Rockets went back to back? Is anybody calling their fucking stadium a fucking Mecca? No.

And that was only 30 years ago. I love how you thought about arguing with that, then you just laughed. No, that's what sucks is like you can't because I do it to med fans until it happens, you just got to wait. It was 50 fucking years ago. 1973 was 51 years ago, dude. Wow. Yeah, Paul, look at you.

Look how you look. Look in the mirror. Look at you. Not good, dude. Uh-huh. Yeah, Paul, look at you. Look how you look. Look in the mirror. Look at you. Good, dude. Uh-huh. Yeah. How do you, what do you think you look like? Huh? Just know that in your entire time, okay, as an, as a person, yeah, you've been able to get to the point where, you know, you lost your hair. You got some white whiskers, you're growing a beard. You had a Pontiac, Paul.

You drove a Pontiac SUV. All of this shit happened. And you know what didn't happen during your entire existence? So this planet, Paul, you slipped the disc. You've been arrested, you started comedy. Had a couple of kids, you were an open-micor. You had a couple of cats that lived for like 20 fucking years. I did.

But you know what? One thing I also did though Bill. You saw OJ when he was back when he was a fucking hero, fucking movie star, to go to a murderer, double murder him and get off on it All of that stuff has happened Paul. Yeah, jeans were tight. They got loose. They gave became tight again And now they get loose again But I stayed loyal Bill What it but what hasn't happened Paul that entire fucking time

Come on, man. Are you doing this to me? You know, you know, I'm doing this to you because your New York arrogance. We're going to be back. We're going to be back. You never were. You never were. We were relevant in the 90s.

Like, I mean, actually, we were, you know, we went to the finals in the 90s. We were as relevant as the Pacers until you played the Pacers But we did go to the finals against the Spurs in 99 was pretty well. All right. Well, you guys are the first participants participation trophy NBA franchise Paul I'm just I'm just sick of Of the fucking bravado and in all of the fucking it's just that you just don't have the hardware paul paul for a guy who loves jewelry paul Well, here's the likes to walk around with this chain out I know you know what jewelry looks like here's the deal you being sick of it is not going to ever stop my love and passion for my nicks

You understand i'm not telling you to not have love and passion. I'm just saying just choose your words carefully When you're talking to a seltik's fan That's all it's respect. Like what if I said right now, you know, after 2018, when the Red Sox won their four and I saw a czar century, we're fucking common to, and you're sitting there with 27 championships. Looking at me all excited because we won four in the last 110 fucking years, right? Or a hundred years.

You would be looking at me like, is this guy really saying this shit to me as a Yankees fan? Is he really saying that? That's a good, that's a good point. There you go. See, I had to get into your fucking ego with the Yankees for you to finally see it. No, no, no. I knew what you were doing the whole time.

I saw it, but yeah, you're right. If a baseball team talked to me about their couple of cute titles and I see that almost 30, you're right. I would be like, all right. All right. Here's my question. How long did the Yankees, the championship drought, would it have to go? Which is amazing that it's considered like the fact that you guys have only gone 15 years here and that's considered like, holy shit. This is like your second longest drought. I mean, the longest one was 1978 to 1996. That's how fucking spoiled you are as Yankee fans.

I was still that like, dude, there's people just like, you know, the Phillies win one like one every fucking 80 years or 40 40 years 80 years or something To answer hello, we have to go before people are like yeah, I guess 32 teams all this jumping around with money I guess, you know George Steinbrenner dying like this shit is actually over I Would say to answer that question. I would say if it got to like 25 years, I think if it went another decade from now, then people would start to have to be like, all right dude, 25 years,

it's a fucking quarter of a century without any winning, that would make New York fans be like, what the Yankee fans go, holy shit dude, it's over, or it could be over, so yeah, holy shit, dude. The it's over or could be over. So, yeah, I would say 25. It's not going to go 25. I just thought that is you guys got you got too much money. You got really good farm team.

You guys were right there. I don't know what happened. I don't have too busy watching the Red Sox. We just fucking just kept my losing people to free agency and getting nothing back from everybody. You know, my phone about what's his face who went to the Dodgers, why we ever let him go. I don't know why.

I don't know. Now fuck that though, the Dodgers giving $700 million to one pitcher. It's so stupid. I'm glad the Yankees didn't do that. You know, it's like. But the Yankees did do that, Paul. You were the original $700 million to somebody.

Just $700 million wasn't $700 million 20 years ago Right, but it's still now it's to put somebody on your payroll for seven that really fucking takes a big hit for your farm Oh, it's beyond stupid. It's beyond stupid But I mean I can't let's do a Yankee fan fucking sit here and say like keep believe how much they paid that guy I mean there was a time towards the end of George Steinberg's life Like there's nothing he loved more than a 38 year old future Hall of Famer with half a season left in him and give that guy fucking 15 million. Yeah, well, he did that late. He did that with the Oakland A's, right? Who did Steinbrenner when he got? Who was the other than Reggie? Didn't he get another Oakland

A? Catfish Hunter. He got Reggie Jackson. Yeah. Um, no, I'm talking about like after the 2000s when he was going after like, you know, Randy Johnson. Uh, what was it? Kevin Brown? What was that guy's name? Yeah, he got, yeah, he got an old Randy Johnson. He had Kevin Brown. He got, uh, who was the other guy? Yeah, we would get guys that were like, we'd get a couple outfielders that kind of Luzinsky, I think he gave him a hundred million have it passed it fucking prime He called Greg Luzinsky up. We've been retired for 15 years You play first base, you know three that mobile. He's like, all right, just eat up a few games for fucking Tino

Yeah, what was his name? Tina Martinez or Greg, Greg Luzinski? Greg Luzinski. Yeah, he was, no, that's a guy from like the seventies and eighties. Yeah, yeah. You look like a softball ringer. You know, when you play somebody else and it's just supposed to be people, you know, one, one warehouse versus another warehouse.

And then this guy comes up with a fucking ass as big as a Volkswagen bug. And you're like, what the fuck is this guy? You know what? We gotta go back and sends one into the parking lot hit somebody's Volkswagen. Shirako was the 80s. Paul, those fat out of shape guys that just would hit fucking. Oh, it's the best. It's the best.

You guys had that. Fuck you know that guy you guys had Mo Vaughn. Oh my God, that guy dude, that guy hit guys had Mo Vaughn oh my god that guy dude that guy hit a home run at Shea Stadium that I swear to God I can't even believe a human being hit a ball that far oh yeah he would hit the moon shots and he would almost fall he would he would and he did like that that way up there that fucking swing I loved Mo Vaughn oh Movaughn hit fucking bombs, dude. You know, we got to do if when the NBA. Shall we just go? He made a little effort to field balls at first base.

Who are we talking about there? Movaughn. Movaughn. I remember being on the first base line in the Red Sox game because, you know, kid in the 90s, like we like Movaughn. It was just that was flavor of the week. And man, I just remember. It was a flavor of the week.

He was he was there. That was he was there for a while. Yeah, around in that guy was like in my like 40 years of fandom. But but but yeah, he was that for that period. He was the biggest player. But no, I remember literally just watching him like stumble forward for a ball, just terrible fielding. Didn't always try.

He could, but very rarely. But yeah, move on was one of the one of those big guys. I love Movan. He was great. Oh, dude. Fucking moonshots. Dude, moonshots. I know. That's back when we didn't understand, like,

hitting and running and stealing bases and all that. We just used to sign one guy after another like that. We'd always, like, Dave Kigman, late in his career, be like, dude, he gets to Fenway. Yeah. With the green monster that he's gonna hit, like, any fucking old runs. You know what he would do? Ground into double plays. They would just pitch those guys fucking low and inside. They would turn on it. That was before

Moneyball analytics guys would just get sluggers back there. Oh yeah. You know, it's what it was all about. That's why the National League was more exciting because they were playing a complete game. Like they were playing a complete game. Like they were playing hit and run. They were doing a stealing basis. They were doing all of that shit. They had the, you know, it just was a more fun game.

And I love watching the pitchers bat. I hate that they changed that. That's stupid. Anyways, Paul, this is getting late here and I gotta go fucking, I gotta get writers from here. Bringing in big boy, oh in big boy. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Yeah. J. J. J. J. J. J. J.

J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J.

J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J.

J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J.

J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J.

J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. J. Licking his lips when he would when he would try to steal a base. He was halfway there just struggling And he would his head up Rest his rest his brother's soul this brother passed away horrible man Horrible Jeremy rest his soul. All right, so we'll do a party about how about going to the San Diego Chargers I think it's great. Yeah, go Diego Chargers. I think it's great Yeah, go super charge hers. I think it's great. Oh, you know Paul is gonna be picking San Diego next year I love Herbert and I think he's got a quarterback a coat a quarterback coach type of coach that's gonna make him win

I love it. You know was awesome was reading all of these Ohio State fans Calling Harbaugh cheater. They're such fucking babies. They are such fun. They had the biggest fucking cry babies and they're giving the guy no respect and secretly they're they're so unbelievably excited that he's gone. It's like, for you Ohio State fans out there, he didn't even coach in the game this year and you still get your fucking ass kicked. You are, you are beyond happy that that guy is leaving. You'd be psyched if he left Michigan and came to you guys. Yeah, how great is it you leave your alma mater?

You go I mean you leave you go back to your mother. You win a championship there. You're like, now I'm going to go to the NFL. I'm going to go to one of the a good quarterback. They got a great team. I think the Chargers are going to be good. Let's do our last pick. Let's do a right. Let's do our last pick. Let's do a pick.

Let's do a parlay here. We have the, we could do either one, right Andrew? It's our world. I guess it is, he's not here anymore. He said yes, he said yes. Which game do you like better for a special, Bill? You like the Ravens and Chiefs or do you like the Lions and Niners? I think they're both pretty good.

You tease the fucking... What's... Can we do that? If you tease the 49ers down or if you tease somebody up and that Chiefs... How much... Well, I mean, that'll affect your odds, but like how much can you tease these guys up and down? I think you could get, it's six or you could buy seven. Andrew, can we do a tease?

I never noticed though that it's on the bet MGM thing. Yeah, yeah, we can, we always, we've done that with the over under, we've teased it up or down, so yeah, I would 100% to bring the line. All right, so this is what we'll do we will do a championship week tease a two team tease we'll take we'll tease the 49ers down you want to tease the 49ers down to one point I think two I think two that'll you two out of three, my home's to throw one and then tease them up to like almost 10 points.

It's pretty good. Let's just go 49ers. Just go 49ers. I have no idea. I mean, I have no idea on that chiefs. I mean, I think it's gonna be close, but then part of me is going like. Dude, let's get the Ravens get nine and a half.

All right. I mean, you think the Ravens are gonna lose by 10 at home? And I got no feeling on that game, Paul. I'm like fucking Maverick right now. It's no good. Yeah, it's no good. I can see it. I can see it.

I can see it. I can see it. I can see it. I can see it. I can see it. I can see it. I can see it. I can see it. I can see it. I can no good. It's no good. Come on, man. Pull the trigger. No, it's no good I gotta go back to the cruise ship take my shirt off play volleyball

You know, I fucking hate about all those movies that I enjoyed the 80s and then people go it was the latent homosexuality It's like yeah, if you were gay, I Just thought it's a bunch of guys fucking playing volleyball. I never thought that they were blowing each other after it. That's on you, right? Yes. Yeah, I'm like, no, dude, these guys are in good shape. The fucking plane is shaped like a dick. It's like, is it? Dude, if I had that body, I'm no shirt on the beach playing

volleyball. Hot out. What are we gonna, I'm no shirt on the beach playing volleyball. It's hot out. What am I gonna do? Keep my shirt on? Um, all right. It was an impromptu game of volleyball. You saw they had their jeans on. Yeah, they're not gonna all start sucking each other's dick when the game's over. Yeah, like, where does that come from?

Like Batman and Robin. Oh, there's a really homosexual thing going on there. Was there? I thought Batman was trying to fuck cat woman dude please do this on stage that is so funny god that's funny it's like yeah are you sure maybe this might be a you issue yeah I think you're gay I think you want to see these guys start queering off with each other which is fine but don't fucking tell me that that was the purpose of that scene.

That scene was supposed to get women all excited to go to the movie. That's why they had him oiled up. They didn't do it for me. Why is he crying to his best friend about his wife? Maybe he wants to suck his dick. It's like, wait, or, or is his friend or his friend died? Or his friend died. Dude, that's the ultimate dude, I called it maverick watch the canopy you fucking called it Goose slammed right into it and died oh Dude, and he had come so far. He couldn't get any pussy in college He was in the worst fraternity, you know? And then once they got revenge on those fucking athletes

next to you know, he joins the armed services. He's flying jets. Oh, that's great. That's great. He's banging Meg fucking Ryan. I mean, the guys he had his whole life. Maverick called it. Watch the canopy goose.

Bam. That's like watch the fake punt and They call a fake punt. That was another thing the bills did that fucking fake punt. You know, that was, you know, that was a terrible amount. Oh, no. And they put Hamlin in the middle, dude. It was predictable and terrible. Good call. Good call. We're going to blame Sass. You know, we're just going to blame him instead. Yeah. Jake, Jake the snake just said at your own 30. Yeah, that's a that's a bad coaching move. I thought it's great if it works. I was reckless. I don't know what I was thinking when I made that call Paul. He would have been a hero if it worked. It's like, uh, all right, so we'll do Ravens get

nine and a half. No, no, no, not 49ers minus 10. 49ers minus 10 means they got to win by 11. You don't want that. Don't you think the 49ers logo, that minor with the short shorts on, there's just a lot of latent homosexuality going on there? You know, he's bending over to pan for gold. Dude, did you see Lamar, Lamar Jackson's teammate go up to him on the bench and rub his head after that great play. That was as suck as Dick.

No, that's the bit. It's the closeted gay guy that tries to make like everything that you're watching is gay. I mean, is it me or is this gay? I don't think it's gay. It's the fucking food network. This guy's making a top of the hot fucking steak here. It looks just like a dick with some balls hanging off of it.

I might nuts over here. Hey, man, I don't know what show you're watching. That is watching a guy cook a steak. The guy where everything he sees is gay is endlessly funny. It's endlessly. It's endlessly. Dude, you see my home's hug, Kelsey after that games. but next thing you know, he's gonna fucking grab his ass the fuck was that You gotta like here lately

In the whole thing, I just can't believe they weren't playing tecto music in those You see Harbaugh's dad hug them when they won the national Gay shit was that. They were crying. Well, that Bill's fan crying, I would just say that's definitely that's that was that was more in that direction than Top Gun. All right, let's let's finish this up here. All right.

So let's do we're going to take. We're going to take the 49ers down to minus one meaning they got to win the game by one or two and we're gonna take the Ravens getting nine and a half at home against the Chiefs the Chiefs aren't gonna beat the Ravens by ten dude on in Baltimore It's not gonna fucking happen. I'll put money, I'll do a side pick. They have too good a coach. They have too good a coach. They've got too good a coach, dude.

They've got too good a quarterback. They got a, no, no, no, no, no, good defense. Ravens get nine and a half as good as you're gonna get, and then we'll see what happens. We'll take, we'll do a two team tease. I don't know what to talk about. Ravens is kind of a gay bird. Am I nuts?

I mean, it's right there. It's right there. All right. So Ray. So the Ray. The Ray. You see that logo? The chiefs. I mean, there was a guy who dressed up like a chief in the village people. I mean, they're practically serving it up on a platter. That whole organization is gay. My nuts. Dude, we got to do this. When we go to Vegas. We got to do this All right, that is the

That's the show everybody Bill has the 49ers and the chiefs I have the Ravens and the Lions and our special is the Ravens getting nine and a half the 49ers The Ravens getting nine and a half, the 49ers giving one point. So that's our two team teas. Enjoy the teas, enjoy the week. And of course, make sure you download the bet MGM. We why do they call it a tease? I mean, that's just so that's right there.

I mean, that's a kind of tease. Talking to strip tease. That was what that. I didn't know where you were going. Dude, our casino is getting gay, tease. I'm a grown man. He don't tease me. Hey, what do they call on this weekend?

Is it just championship weekend? This is keeping it gully, AFC, NFC championship weekend? No, they kept this one traditional. This one's a championship weekend. Traditional, okay. All right, everybody, there you go. That's the show. Make sure you. All right, everybody, there you go. That's the show. Make sure you go to the best sports book out there, the best lines there is.

It is BetMGM, our sponsor. You download the app and you use our code. Our code is BR, B-U-R-R, very easy and the promotion is awesome. You do a bet up to a little as five dollars and you will get a hundred and fifty eight dollars in additional bets regardless the outcome of your bet so Andrew did I say that right I want to make sure I don't mislead people but I think that's the bet correct there you go five dollars bet responsibly enjoy championship weekend I am pulling I'm not gonna lie I'm pulling

for the city of Detroit man I'm pulling for Detroit city of Detroit, man. I'm pulling for Detroit. I think it would be awesome. But I also want- Yo, it's funny, I'm rooting for Detroit and I'm rooting for the Ravens, but my money is on the opposite teams. But I do love the people of San Francisco 49ers and I love what's it called, Perti and those guys.

It'll be great. I like Buffalo Bill fans too, except for the guy that pushed me in the back when I was taking a leak and that fucking guy who cried. Uh, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't great. I like Buffalo Bill fans too, except for the guy that pushed me in the back when I was taking a leak and that fucking guy who cried. Wide right, kind of gaseous. Just everything.

All right, there you go guys, we'll see you guys. Oh, next time we talk, it'll be Super Bowl week. We'll talk to you guys next week. I know, and that's the last game of the year Paul Dude, it's oh this went so quick. It really was like it didn't happen did it I mean, I feel like when it started I was in Greece. That feels like a zillion years ago Dude for me. I feel like we did six weeks of this and it's done But well, hey, what do I know? Hey, you know, you're in your element, you know, I just like doing the show with my friends

Fucking gay as shit as that. You wanna, all right. Take care everybody, we'll see you next week. Couple of bald guys with closely cropped beards. I mean, this is one of the gayest podcasts you could be. Is it me? I don't know. I think we're trying too hard with our backgrounds, Paul.

Like you have like a black, I have gray, you know? A little whole plate thing over there, you know, I love whole plate thing over there. You know, I'm just trying too hard. I mean, it's just obviously I love the swimming and decks over here. Yeah, when you go Batman and Robin, it's kind of gay. That's some gay as she go. Is it? Yeah, I thought I was those kind of cool that beaten up all these weirdos. I thought it was a sidekick and friend. I'm sorry. Yeah. All right, guys, I'll see you guys next week.