Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 10-21-21

Episode Date: October 21, 2021

Bill rambles about Cleo and the playoffs.

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Hoo, hoo, hoo. Yeah, I'm walling up the pipes. Woo! How's it going everybody? How's your Thursday? You almost made it, man. You almost made it to another weekend, man. Crawling on your hands and knees. I need you to join the Zoom call. Where the Zoom call started 10 minutes ago. Where are you? We need you to sit there and say nothing as the person who earns the most money blathers on and fucking on. You all got to sit there and nod.

Just wishing, what if they just dropped dead in the middle of this, right? All of a sudden a trickle of blood just came out of their nose like that fake video that musician dying live on TV, right? But what if it was real? You know, you knew that was a fake because of the way the guy, afterwards once they found out it was a fake. I was like, oh yeah, if he really dropped dead, like when you drop dead, like you fall like the first time like a baby doesn't know to put its hands out. I like how Manny Pacquiao, the great Manny Pacquiao when he got caught that one time when he just, he was just out and just fell straight down, straight down, face flush on the square circle. Anyway, sort of a melancholy day for me, everybody, man. I got some sad news, people who follow me on Instagram know the great Cleo Rene Diego Burr passed away this week.

My beloved pit bull. Oh, Cleo! I always got, that was always good for my soul to yell. I used to always yell that. It's like a Clydesdale coming to the door. She was just the best, but I'm not as sad as I thought I was going to be because, you know, when I had to, I'll give you the full, don't know the back story. Basically, the dog was born in 2008. It was abandoned. It was found by the LA River. Shiverin' and all of that. This nice woman found her, brought her to work. My wife agreed to air quote, foster her, and they know what that means. You're going to fall in love with her, which is what we did. And, you know, the dog was very complex, had a lot of issues, loved us, was an absolute teddy bear.

I could do whatever I wanted to it, but anybody else other than like four or five people came through the door and she was just super aggressive. But then it got to the point where she was trying to bite people and ended up finding this trainer, Lynn Boyke, who had his business out here called Zenford Canines, and he helped us begin to rehabilitate her, but we were never able to quite get her there, and she was a very, very difficult case. And so then, you know, she stayed with us and all of that right through me getting married and all of that. And I used to take her on hikes every single day, and she was just the best. We absolutely loved her, but, you know, we definitely had to put her in a different room when company came over. And, but whatever, she was, you know, she was like a comedian, you know, completely fucked up but had a great heart. So, trying to keep this light. So when 2016 came around and my wife was pregnant with our wonderful daughter, we both knew in the back of our heads like we just can't risk how is she going to behave with the new person when it's a baby.

So, we held on as long as we could. My wife gave birth in January, and in November, in November, I looked at her and I was like, you know, we're going to have to give her to somebody else. And she just said, I know. So, we looked at all these places. There was like, you know, shelters. I'm like, I'm not putting her in a shelter. No one's going to take a 10-year-old pit bull at that point, 9-year-old pit bull with behavioral issues. She'll get put down. I don't want to do that. Then they had a no-kill shelter and it was like, I don't, she hates being by herself. I'm not doing that. So, we worked something out with Lynn that he would, he would take her, but I would still pay to border and all of that for the rest of her life. So, that's essentially what happened. She was still my dog, but he had her and once a month or so, he'd bring her over where we were at and I'd still take her for a walk and all that. So, I still got to see her and everything and then eventually Lynn, who's now based in Arizona, they went out to Arizona, but he would still come back for business out here and I still got to see her like once every six weeks. So, but he would always send me videos and because she was now with a master, Lynn Boyke, who's absolutely incredible, L-I-N-N, I think it's B-O-Y-K-E.

You should look this guy up if you have any issues with your dog. This guy is incredible and he, I remember the first time we dropped her off. The dog was trying to kill him and I handed the leash to him and I did it in the wrong way and he's wearing these baggy pants and the dog bit down on his pants and we were standing there trying to help him. He's going, get out of here, get out of here. Just leave, leave, leave, leave. I'm like, really? He goes, get out of here. So we got in the car and we left and because he understood with dogs that like once the dog was protecting us and then once we left the dog's like, all right, now what the fuck am I doing? It's kind of stopped. So we have many of those stories, but anyway, you know, Lynn would try to teach us as much as he could, but at the other day we weren't him and we didn't have his skill set. So anyway, he would come back from Arizona and I remember, you know, I always had guilt because I always thought, well, what if she actually got along with our daughter? Because, you know, I cried like a baby when I had to give her away and I remember so I brought her over, you know, I had her on the leash and I made sure, you know, there was no way she was going to get away or anything like that. Obviously I had her on the leash and had her collar, you know, leash in one hand and collar, right?

So I let her fixate that my baby was up on the bed where she used to sleep and she looked over and her ears went up and rather than kind of like, you know, nudging ahead in a different direction. So I let her fixate and she looked at my daughter and she went and growled and I was like, all right, and Nia was in the bathroom. She goes, did she just growl at our baby? And I go, yeah. And she goes, all right, I never felt bad about it again. But when she was out in Arizona, she lived with other dogs and became friends with another dog, which was just unheard of and they would be like Lynn would send me pictures where she would be spooning with another dog. I was so happy. Most of the videos he sent was her in the backyard, like scratching her back, like, you know, rolling in the grass.

It was funny. She kind of went out to Arizona for her golden years, like a retired conservative and she lived out there. And I still got to see her like every six weeks and I always whenever she was in town, he would leave her at the vet and I would drive down and I take her for a walk every single day. And I would always sit with her and I pet her and I talked to her and everything. And I'm so thankful that there was a guy like Lynn in our lives that was able to really make, she was a miracle, man. The dog with that bad breed with those kinds of issues lived a whole life, 13 years. So it was a success story. And I remember when I took her on, that I told her when she was a year older, like, I'm not going to let anything happen to you, buddy.

So I feel like I kept my promise. And yeah, so that's it. The only thing that sucks about a dog is that someday they're going to die, right? Somebody sent me a quote or something like that. So there you go. There's that. There is that. So rest in peace.

Oh, I still do that. I still every once in a while, I'll do that. If I drive by some of the old places where I live with her, it always makes me feel good to yell her name out the window. I used to, when I would pull in with me and he had our first department and she'd have the windows open. We didn't have any AC, but we get a nice breeze a little bit. So it wasn't too bad. Actually, it was pretty bad in July and August. I'm not going to lie to you, but she'd have the windows open with the screen.

And as I would pull in, I had the preaspect. And so it was quiet and I could pull in and I would just yell out, oh, and I'd hear like a dog collar move and another move. We had a little garage in the back. I have video of it on one of my computers. I got to find the thing. One of my computers. It's like as thick as a fucking laptop. I would have her sit all the way at the top of the stairs and I walked down.

We lived up on the second floor and it was like, you know, the crisscross stairs going down the back all the way up the driveway. And I opened up the hatchback and I go, oh, what do I do? I think I was like, I just go like that. And then she would just come bounding down the stairs. It sounded like she was falling. You know, dogs aren't as graceful as cats. And then she'd come tearing around the corner. I loved watching her run.

It was like a thoroughbred. All those muscles in her just galloping and she would leap. I swear to God, like eight feet from the back of the car. I can't believe the Prius took it and would just like land and stop on a dime, spin around, sit on a butt and be wagging her tail, you know, panting and all that. All right, buddy, let's go and take it. It was awesome. And it was something funny too about riding around with a blue nose pit bull and a Prius. It's like, what is going on in that car?

A lot of messages. So yeah, rest in peace, buddy. There'll never be another one like you. You were a crazy dog and I loved her. Loved her to death. So rest in peace. So all right, let's get on to something a little less sad. All right, let's do let's do in his movies.

He didn't fucking say that when they put the movie together. All right, let's do some fucking reads here. Okay, there's two dynamic reads. Oh, there's a dynamic reads. All right. What is a dynamic read? That's a read that I read and then they stick it into an old podcast because a lot of the shit that I advertised back then. I don't know.

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I treat myself to a root beer. Hey Bill, you didn't fucking crash into somebody's house. Have a sugary treat. Mmm. All right. Oh, look who it is. Every butcher box. You know people when it comes to meat.

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I was being brave everybody. Hashtagging. Linking. Backtracing. And all of a sudden it said Lago was going live. So they always have a great act down there. I'm like, who's down there? And I fucking Mark Marin's playing with the blues band.

Playing guitar. Absolutely fucking destroying. That guy's so legit. It's ridiculous. Like if I didn't know he was a comedian, I'd be like walking in a bar, just be like, you know, the music business is so unfair. How the fuck do I not know who this guy is? Why doesn't this guy have a deal?

He was destroying. So after he rips on guitar, he pulls a harmonica out of his shirt pocket as you do and fucking destroys. He's like destroying on guitar harmonica and singing at the same level he destroys as a comedian. Like I've never seen a lot of comics that are good at their hobby, but I've never seen a guy that was the same level. There's no dip, you know. Fucking amazing.

So he's been doing these shows down there. These Mark Marin, you know, it's like music comedy and friends or something like that. If you get a chance, you got to go down and see him, man. He's frigging amazing. Absolutely amazing. Tell you what else was amazing was watching a two to one game become a two to game. To all of a sudden went down by like 20 fucking runs. Holy shit.

What did the Astros break out the garbage can again? They fucking lit us up in the ninth inning scored like fucking, I don't know what it was, nine runs. I can't remember if it was nine to two, eleven to two. I don't even remember. I was just sitting there, you know, but I didn't give a fuck. I was like, all right, score all your runs tonight. I love it. You know, you know, do that.

Dude, save him for tomorrow. You know, when you say that shit, I did. I think it's funny that that Al Tuve guy, whatever, he hits a home run and he still does his little dumb bow and arrow, whatever the fucking, you know, after the shame of what he guy is like, no shame. It's why, why aren't you miming somebody hitting on a fucking trash can these fucking kids today, man? I swear to God. It's like, you know, like I bet I was real nice to ask to the Astros and Astro fans about that. You know, I thought I was nice and fucking even handed where I was like, well, listen, if the Yankees and Red Sox,

we're going to field $180 million, $200 million teams full of roided up free agents. You know, what do the Astros do? They banged on some fucking trash cans. I mean, that's, you know, that's, that's on par. It's on par to having a $200 million team feel like it's the first game of the season every day the whole year. Dog days of summer still feeling like you could run through a fucking brick wall. Um, you know, all fair, all fair and love and war, but you know, when you get caught with your pants down like that, like if you get busted for steroids, do you really hit a home run and then point at your biceps?

I don't think you do. I think you have a little bit of fucking humility, but that's not what these kids do. They don't fucking do that shit, you know, unless they strike out. They're not whining to the umpire. They just walk quickly back to the fucking dugout. You know, did that ever become an Olympic event speed walking? Um, anyway, so, um, yeah, so now it's two to two. It's a great goddamn series.

Um, Red Sox just playing with house money. This was supposed to be the year that we just waited for Chris Sale to come back, you know, rehab a little bit. And then next year we were going to start, you know, trying to buy up the league because that's how you win a championship, right? Talk to the Dodgers. They try to do it every fucking year, right? The Yankees had done it forever and then George, he died. And now they're trying to do a grassroots thing, which is fucking hilarious because they're not getting anywhere doing that. And Yankee fans are starting to get restless, you know, do it the old way.

Buy a kilo of cocaine and give it out to the other owners and get their stars. Come on, man. It's been like fucking 12 years, man. Um, so this would be pretty good, man. If we actually went at this year, we would be in double digits in World Series. Who would ever thought you'd say that is a Red Sox? Ten fucking World Series. I'm not trying to count my fucking, you know, PEDs before they hatch here.

So, um, this is going to be tough. It's going to be at Chris Sale, though. Thank God Chris Sale maybe settles them down. But I was obviously not happy with our relief pitching, but I look at it this way. You're going to blow us safe. You might have like, just give them all the runs in one night. Might as well get nine runs out of the fucking way, right? Does that make any sense?

I mean, look, I'm trying to, you know, I'm trying to be PD positive here. Trying to be PD positive. I'm trying to stay away from the landmines of the shit that's going on in the entertainment business right now. Fucking unbelievable. I'll tell you, speaking of kids, man, the confidence of some of these fucking younger fucking people in this goddamn business, man. They, they, they, they, they're going in. They're going in. I said, they're going, I wouldn't have said that to that guy.

That is some fucking Steven Segal says shit like that. All right, everybody. Well, that's the end of the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. Um, before we go, we have a little clip for all you, uh, sports fans and degenerate gamblers. Bet MGM. Here's the Paul Verzi and Bill Burr clip talking about our, our, our picks and our, uh, whatever the hell that Monday night wild things called. And listen to this and enjoy. Hey guys, we're back with week seven, lucky seven, Bert Jones, Magikowski.

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If you haven't signed up for bet MGM yet, use bonus code burr and you'll get a $50 free bet to use for this week's games. All right, everybody, you know, usually Paul Verzi starts this segment, but I know that this man is walking, wounded right now. He's taking a sip. He knows it's coming. Each week we pick four, we pick four teams and Jesus Christ, Paul, to pick four in a row and to win them all. There's the unimaginable. You carried off the field like you just won the Super Bowl. And then there's the other side, Paul.

It's the universe. The universe has to balance itself. The old four, which is known as the unforgivable. Like you can't go home for the holidays and you Paul Verzi. I did it last week. Didn't pick one loser. Didn't pick. Do you picked four in a row?

You went to Detroit Lions on us. You had a winless and, you know, something you at the end of last week's segment, you said this, you go. And I don't believe in jinx, but I said to you, I go, Bill is going to blame me. No, no, no, I'm not going to blame you, but I just said, I go, dude, you know, you were actually giving me a compliment. You go, Paul, you went three and one back to back weeks. You're crushing this. And I said, and Andrew could play it back. I go, dude, I could easily go all in four.

And that cop sucker, those Steelers. Oh, dude, it hurt. And to make it even worse, it went to overtime. So I'm going. So I hung on to a chance. I hung on to a chance until the end and then stayed up and went to bed with the unforgivable under my belt. And, you know, bad. I wanted to text you when you lost that last one.

Oh, Vegas is so good. Oh, I stopped myself from doing that. You could have. I didn't want to do that to you. You were hurting the five points. It is about this, Paul. You might, you might disagree, but this means more to you than it does to me. There's something about you, Paul.

Paul, I've never met a guy when it comes to sports. You can see it in your body language. Your face is just twisting up. You want to be right about sports like nobody. Yeah. I've ever met you want credit. I mean, you screamed at me for years about how you predicted about Robinson Cano and his first at bat that he was going to be a Hall of Famer. You kept yelling at me that you said this shit and I wasn't there and there was no way to confirm it.

And you just wanted me to believe it for years until he got busted doing steroids and then you just slowly walked away. No, that was so bad. He broke my heart twice. That fucking guy broke my heart twice. He leaves the Yankees to take that fucking ridiculous contract in Seattle and that broke my heart. And then come to find out he starts cheating or he's cheating or was cheating. Don't, don't, don't fucking kick it down the road now, Paul. Yeah.

I mean, starts cheating. All you fucking Yankee fans. Oh, we're going to kick your ass. We're going to kick your ass. And then you fucking lose. Oh, I'm not into baseball. Oh, Andy Pettit only did droids cause he loved Jesus and wanted to get closer to him. You guys got all the excuses.

No, I, I, what happened? Oh, I'll tell you what was annoying last night was watching the Astros come back and score fucking like 90 runs in the ninth inning in that L2 big guy fucking hits a home run. Then as the nerve to kind of celebrate, he does something with like a bow and arrow. It's like, how could you wear banging on a trash can? You fucking little cunt. Yeah. I like how he's all right again. It's kind of like when, when fucking a rod got busted for steroids and everybody gave him shit.

And then all of a sudden he hits his six hundredth home run. They're like, where do we put this guy? So, wait a minute. Historically, where did we like, what is the guy where, where did you end up? Bill? I didn't even know your record. I was two and two, Paul. I picked up two games on you because the fucking Buffalo Bills didn't cover Paul.

How does that happen? Dude, that sun comes up. The sun goes down and the Buffalo Bills cover in 2021. And all of a sudden they went down there. I kept, I felt kind of bad as a Patriots fan rooting against Mike Vrabel. And you know what, Mike Vrabel fucking made me pay for it. Not only did the, the bills not cover the Titans won the game. And Jacksonville did this last week, this past week, what I said they were going to

do the week before, when you said they were fucking done, they fucking beat the Dolphins. And then the raiders did this week, what I thought the Jacksonville was going to do last week and they fucking won. So there goes another theory. Oh, Paul, we also had a guy right in saying that my theory about divisional rivalries being close and betting the underdog was better and he debunked your, he debunked you're a good team coming home. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, he debunked it.

He debunked it. You gotta know that. No, no, no, no. Listen, you want to sit here and trash me for going on for the unforgivable. I'll take that. Don't act like you need my approval for that. That's what happened. I'm just saying what happened.

No, no, no, I'll take that all day is what I have to take that all day. It looks like that's something you fucking have an option of taking. Okay. Fine. That's totally fine. Very abusive, Paul. Very abusive behavior. But I'm this fucking guy going and said the theory of a team who lost on the road going

home was 49.8%. That's not what the fuck I said. What I said was my theory is a good over 500 team that loses a heartbreaker on the road and comes home is going to, so what does that mean? That's not what you said on the podcast though. Of course it is. They could play it back. It isn't.

You didn't ever send an over 500 team. No, I said it after the fact. No, no, no, I said a little in the thing. No, I said a good stats nerd. I went out there. Well, here's the thing, Paul, my theory, my theory, you don't have to fucking put a bunch of bells and whistles on it to still make it look true, but then it's not a theory. Okay.

Okay. What do you mean? It's not a theory. Here's. No, no, no. Mine was better than yours. And now you're a good team over 500. I've always said a good team play on a Thursday and it's outside.

I've always said a good team. I've always said a good team. So fuck him and fuck you. I've always said a good team. Paul, let me say I have, you could go back to it. I've always said a good team on the road. I didn't say that Jacksonville Jaguars losing on the road, but now you're just saying a good team.

But you said over 500, you started putting all these, you know, fucking curb finders on your thing. So a good team is 500 to me or better, but I did not say if the Jacksonville Jaguars lose on the road, they're going to come home and do a good team. That's not my thing. 500 or better. A good team is like fucking, you know, eight and two, but I'm talking about a team that's going to come home and probably win the game or should win the game.

That's my theory. I'm not saying a shitty team. So you're basically doing Paul's, you're stating the obvious. You're saying if you, somebody's like a fucking really, what, what, so what 500 teams, a good team? I'm just saying that, you know, a 500 or above team after a heartbreaker on the road coming on, 500 teams, not a good team, Paul, a 500 teams, not a losing team, a 500 team, you get fired

as a coach depends what year, but yeah, but it's not a bad Paul year after year. If you're going fucking eight and eight, here's the thing, dude. I know Andrew. I know we got to wrap it up, but here's the, no, no, Paul, what is a good team? What's their record for the year? See I think, I think a nine and seven or a 10 and 16 is a good team. I'd say that's a decent team. Okay.

But nowhere in my theory did I say a bad team is going to come home and win. I know, but Paul, but then aren't you just stating the obvious that if a team that's going to go 11 and five lost on the road, they're coming home, I'm betting on them. I mean, is that a really, is that a really wild thought? No, but it's a theory to win money. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Paul, I got one for you.

A team with the franchise quarterback versus a bum ass quarterback coming home is going to win that game. Are they, but, but that, I'm saying cover. My theory is what I'm, that's what I mean. All of this shit is about gambling. It's about gambling. So Paul, he put his little fucking, Oh, Paul's theory is 0.2% under five, under 50%. Fuck that.

And no offense to the guy. I'm glad you're a fan. No, no, no. I'm just fucking with you, Paul. Yeah. And I, I don't want that guy to show the listeners how bad you want to be right. Do you think I gave Paul was just one guy and listen, I don't want that guy to just made that all up.

Why did you get so, what is it about sports, Paul, that makes you want to be so right? Um, I don't know. I don't know. That's a good question. That's a good, you know what? I just heard all the pain in your childhood. You just go, um, yeah. I mean, if I wasn't having a bad enough fucking week, all right, I'll stop fucking with you.

That got more heated than I wanted to depict. Let's do our picks for this week, Paul. Yeah. All right. This is an odd, I'm a big fan of charity. So I'm going to let you go first. No, it's odd week. I go first anyway, right?

Yeah. I'm just fucking with you. Paul, listen for, I should have picked up at least three games. I only picked up two games. I had you right where I wanted you and I'm still, I'm still looking up at your Paul. Uh, I think I'm 13 and 11, I mean, 11 and 13 now, I think you know exactly what you are. I'm brutal.

It's brutal. It's brutal. Um, all right. So my first pick this week. Yeah. Andrew scroll. Cause I thought, I thought there was one. Yeah.

Yeah. Sounds like you didn't do your homework, dude. No, I did my rolling right off your tongue. My pick this week is the Thursday night game. What's the Thursday night game? I remember seeing it there. Yes. I am going to take, I'm going back to the Cleveland Browns.

I'm going back to the Cleveland Browns. Even though they have not done right by me, I'm going to take them to win by a field goal tomorrow at home against, uh, Teddy Bridgewater and the Denver Broncos. All right. I like the radius minus three and a half at home versus the Eagles. Now the Eagles are playing better than they people thought they were going to play. But at the end of the day, they are the Eagles and they played good last week. So I think they're going to shit the bed this week.

I like the radius at home, giving three and a half to those dirty birds out there in Philly. Okay. Uh, for my second pick, oh dude, this is, I'm going to be honest with you, I'm going with the Tennessee Titans. I'm going with the Tennessee Titans after that Buffalo Bills win. I think they're flying high. I think that that's a game that lets them know that they can be a team that, that can really, really make a run in the AFC.

And listen, the Kansas city chiefs don't stink because of Patrick Mahomes. The Kansas city chiefs stink because they're defense as far as I'm concerned and not stink. I know that they're like, not a bad team, but I feel like a 500 team, Paul, they're like a 500 team. They're a good team. They're, they're, they're going to lose to the Tennessee Titans at home, Tennessee's at home. Get in points.

I love it. All right. I like Joe Burrow since he, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba, getting six and a half versus the Baltimore Ravens who had a big win last week. Everybody's talking about their defense and dancing all the fucking round and all of that. And I think Joe Burrow is going to go in there. He's going to handle himself. He's going to be a gentleman about it.

And they're not going to lose by more than six and a half. All right. My third pick, no comment or nothing on that. Paul just goes, all right. I think that they're going to lose it going into Baltimore, Paul, you know, Paul, there's a lot of giant spreads out there. So I know you're excited this week. I'll, I'll go, I'll go head to head with you on that and take the Ravens.

You take the Ravens. Well, Paul, you, I don't like that because you've yet to beat me head to head. You, well, we've had two and you're two and oh, I believe, right? Have you won one? No, no. I said you're two and oh. You had to clarify that because you said I've yet to beat you as if there's a huge number, which is, that's just true though, Paul.

Yeah. Well, there's two games. You have yet to beat me head to head. I have yet to beat you head to head. Yes. That is correct. Well, you were the easiest mark this week. I don't know what it is.

You take it every bait. I'm giving you. All right. I like the Chicago Bears. Dub Bears getting 12 and a half burst of bucks. I think the bears stink. I don't think they stink that much. And I think, uh, you know, they're going to sort of dick around with them in the first

half and then the bucks are going to beat him, but I don't think they beat him by more than the bet GM GM spread of 12 and a half points, Paul. I like that. I don't really believe in the bears either. My question is, do I go Packers or do I take the lions, the hapless, windless lions getting 15 and a half? That's a lot of points, but they run a lot of points. They stink.

Um, I'm going to take Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers at Lambeau field to beat the Washington football team by 10. You know, I like that pic. I would actually, you know, I like betting on Los Angeles teams because I think guys go out there and they start banging starlets during the week when they're supposed to be practicing. So maybe that's not even a theory. The amount of times I watch the Bruins and then the Celtics come out here and lose to

the fucking clippers or the Anaheim ducks when they stunk or the Kings when they stunk because they're out here banging, uh, you know, whatever Betty Bush face up in the Hollywood Hills instead of practicing. Um, I'm taking the, the San Francisco 49ers. Oh my darling, oh my darling, uh, the 49ers minus four and a half playing the formerly known as the Baltimore Colts, leaving in the middle of the night, like a country song out to Indianapolis over them, the M, the bed MGM line minus four 49ers, Jimmy Garoppolo. I hope he's playing.

I haven't even looked it up going in there. They're going to win by four. That's what I'm hoping, Paul. You know what? Both of us stayed away from that Arizona Cardinals and look at that line. Holy shit. Cause I already won on that bet. Yeah.

That's a, I already had the bills minus 17 against Houston and they won 40 and nothing. And I am smart enough to not go back again, Paul, and to give that money right back. I'm keeping that. I'm keeping that right. My little shirt pocket, Paul, are the Texans that bad? It's a bad team. Do you Paul? I'm stick.

I'm sticking. I'm sticking with seven and nine at this point at seven and 10 dude. No, no, no, nine and seven. I said, Paul, they play 17 games now, which is hilarious to me because all they talked about was that CTE and how they give a shit about players and how they make it and play an extra game. Yeah. Yeah.

And if we brain damaged them quicker, um, all right, well, there you go, people. That that is it. Uh, Paul, you know, I got, I got to hand it to you. You took it. You took it like a man. And you know what? I got to say this. Let me say this before we get out.

I know we got to get out of here. We're talking a lot for a guy that went on for last week, but go ahead. Done and wrong with the New York Giants, the New York Giants fucking stink. And you know, something with the, with the, with the stuff that they did with defense, with the fucking, you know, the running game coming back. And you know what? He called out somebody goes, I'm sick of their coach acting like, well, we're going to make a team that teams proud of, we're going to make the fans, you know, it's like you've

guys fucking stick the defense stinks. Daniel Jones is in the game 38 to three after coming back from a concussion and they fucking did a quarterback sneak. That's grounds for fucking firing right there. The kids shouldn't have been on the fucking field. All right. And he's, he's, he's wobbling and looks like he's going to throw up and faint seven days prior and then you put him in a game and you keep them during a beat down as much as

I hate to say this. I was really fucking wrong about the Giants and it's very disappointing. There we go. Monday night special, Paul, what, what was, you know, Smith stinks, you know, Smith stinks. I love the saints, but it is in Seattle. So I don't know. And they actually played a close game. They covered last week, Paul, sneaky Pete.

You never know what sneaky Pete's going to do. Want to take the points? Yeah. Cause I think they overachieved last week as far as scoring, who's that great running back they got? Um, who's this? What's his name? I don't know.

I forgot his name. Kamara, Alvin Kamara. Oh, you're talking about the saints. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I take the saints. I think Kamara is going to score a touchdown.

I think Jameson Winston's going to throw two TDs. Big day. James Winston, two TV, two, now let's say one, we'll say one. He has a good deal. He has a good deal. He's got that Bobby. What's his Bobby? Womack.

You like the saints to cover? I like the saints to cover. What about you? Oh, wait, they're going in given. What am I thinking? They just said, you just made me think different cause you said sneaky Pete, they're going to be home. They're coming off a loss.

There you go, Bill. They're coming off a loss going home. You want to buy? I think they overachieved though. Russell Wilson wasn't playing. That's the thing, dude, with, with Geno Smith, it could either be a disaster. That's a tough one. And they, yeah, they also came in, you know, I think, you know, they're a little schizo

this week. I mean, this year, I think Seattle, they're not just, they're not solid. They don't have their QB. I think whatever they did last week, the saints are going to look at it. The saints have a great coach. I think they cover. All right. So we'll take saints.

We'll take James Winston to throw a inner, I mean, a touchdown, Jesus, Paul, don't change it. What are we going to do? Geno Smith to throw it. Interception. Good. No, that Alvin Kamara to score a touchdown. Okay.

Can you, I'm just going saints. The saints come marching in in Seattle, Paul. All right. All right. And those saints cover that bet. You put the money in a Corvette. All right. Let's do the outro.

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Bet responsibly. That is the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. Please enjoy the music selected by the great Andrew Thamelis, and after that, we'll have a bonus half hour from a greatest hits Thursday afternoon, just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. Have a great weekend, you cunts. Hey, what's going on? This is Bill Byrne, it's the Monday morning podcast for Monday, Jesus, October 21, 2013.

How you fucking doing? Why is there such an echo in here? Hey, I'm in a hotel room, a sparsely furnished hotel room here, that's why it's echoing a little bit. It's good. You know what? This will help my awful singing. You know?

Oh, you know, Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen. How are you? How was your weekend? As you can tell, I'm a little banged up, a little banged up, didn't get a lot of sleep last night. You know what? I've been in the fog last 10 days. I was kidding.

Who last like 10 weeks? I've been on the road. I've been working my ass off and daddy's been taking his medicine every night and you know what? I'm in a fog. I need to, you know, I need to turn over a new leaf here. I got to become like that dude and remember those grape nut commercials, where he'd be outside in his fucking bathrobe, you know, one leg up on the fucking wooden seat, a couple

of squirrels running around in the background, some birds tweeting and he's just eating his grape nuts, all clear headed, right? That's why I need to be, all right? I got to quit. I sound like shit getting over a cold. I'm a mess this week, everybody. You know what? This should make you feel better about yourself.

You know, at least I didn't, didn't fucking behave the way Bill Bandwagon did this weekend. You guys been following me on Twitter? That's my new character, Bill Bandwagon. I was joking on Twitter that the Boston Red Sox signed the first free agent fan to a three-week contract, Bill Bandwagon, and that is me and I am him. Bill Bandwagon does what Bill Bandwagon do. I actually went over to the Red Sox pro shop here in Boston and I went over to it while during the, whenever the fuck we were playing Detroit this past weekend, I walked into the

pro shop and I literally, I got sick to my stomach. How weird is that? Cause I bought so much Red Sox shit right up during the whole height of that curse of the babe shit trying to end that fucking 86 year drought. I have more Red Sox shit than I don't think I'll ever have to buy anymore. I mean, if they went in the championship, I'm definitely, I'm definitely going to buy a hat. I like getting the World Series patch, but that, that's about it.

Maybe a shot glass or something like that. But as far as jerseys, dude, I got, I still in mind the back of my closet, I have Derek low t-shirt, Manny, Manny Ramirez jersey, Noma fucking jersey. Somebody got me a jersey that was like the old school Red Sox one and just said poppy on the front of it. Like I'm ever going to fucking wear that, but I can't throw it out. You know, so the last thing I fucking need to do is go into a store and get more of that shit that that is going to become sentimental and then I can't throw it out.

So I went by there again today to see if they had the World Series patches and they don't. I guess they get them tomorrow. Some shit. I don't fucking know. So anyways, congratulations to the Boston Red Sox. I can actually name a few now go around the infield a little bit. Was it Middlebrooks over to drew over to Padroia and I don't know who plays first base. Is it Napoli or is he out in that field?

I don't fucking know. And then there's those two Asian guys who were just fucking killing it. I can't remember the guy's name. It begins with a U and he's fucking lights out. It's pathetic. It's so sad that I haven't watched this year and I have to sit here like a housewife who's been doing needlepoint all year and acting like I get it. I don't get it.

I don't know what's going on. I've been here in Boston for the last five days and I'm actually reading the sports page and this how fucking nuts this place is like Dan Shaughnessy like three days in a row wrote a positive article. It's incredible. But whatever. Let's just get down to brass taxi the Red Sox in the World Series unbelievable fucking series.

We had to win game six. I just said we I know I did. I'm a fucking hypocrite. They had to win game six because they were there's no way they'll be in verlander twice. So thank God they did and thank God that guy hit that grand slam and he punched himself in the chest. Right. Like that chick who sings sings the the Titanic song right away.

That's Whitney Houston. What was the Titanic song that was just a song that made you hate women. You know you ever do that. You just really I don't know if women if you ever do did you there's ever a song that comes on that just makes you hate guys. A bunch of fucking meatheaded guys bunch of peanuts around the peanut shells around their feet sitting there screaming and yelling right standing over there in the corner with their shit stained drawers drinking beers like this has to be a fucking song like that for me

the male version it was whatever that Titanic song was and that stupid meerkat that sang the fucking thing and she'd punch herself in her little hollow chest oh God the fuck was her name and then she dated she'd married that landscaped fucking coke dealer slash maybe did some porn at some point in his life directed it anyways that boogie nice looking guy and one of those really fucking effeminate French names like Renee or Susan or some shit right Jackie whatever the fuck his name was Jesus am I in a mood listen to me trashing that that fucking the female George St. Pierre of Canada right they're basically on the same level one can choke you out the other one chokes you up there you go look at that that

was poetry right there I'm summing up Canada everybody you know Jesus um anyways I found a cigar when I was here in Boston I got to lay off that shit dude I swear to God I look phenomenal for my age but if I live another week the way I've been living the last six weeks all right I'm gonna catch up to out what Ron Howard looks like and I'm gonna go right by him you know and that's no disrespect to Ron okay that guy's like in his 60s isn't he isn't his 50s I don't fucking know whatever this is the Monday morning podcast everybody the Boston Red Sox are in the World Series against the St. Louis shit birds and red birds sorry why would you start with them they're they're very nice fans very nice fans out

there in the home of Ann Heiser Bush and I gotta tell you something right now I cannot name one person on their team this is the most baseball I've watched since I stopped watching in 2010 I don't know anybody on that fucking team who's pitching for you John Tudor what do you got over there did that guy who finally shaved his fucking head no wait you traded him to the angels and then from what I've overheard he's been shitting the bed out there what the fuck is his name I don't know I don't fucking know but you know I'm gonna watch you know what's the hardest thing about trying to fucking watch the Red Sox and get all caught up is they all look alike with those fucking beards there's like three

of them they look they have the exact same length and color beard and then there's the backup catcher or whatever but he's got the gray in it I don't I don't fucking I don't pretend to know all right but if you think I'm not gonna be standing there on the childs as the duck boats go by like I've been there all fucking year you're sadly mistaken yes you are all right let's get out let's get out of the whole sports thing this is a story that intrigued me do you guys see the juice don't you hate that fucking word I saw it now is intrigued you know like the whole world should be rejoicing that you're fucking fascinated just say it spot your interest you were intrigued what a self-serving fucking word that is that's

a deal breaker right there if you're ever on a date and somebody uses that word on a first date unless you're a fucking douche and you want to you know maybe cancel out your douchiness you know like two negatives make a positive and maybe your baby will come out and be a good shit I'm telling you right now steer clear of anybody ever uses the word intrigued you know as if that artsy fucking glasses didn't give themselves a way to begin with the second that word comes out of their mouth you know if you can't do the math on that I can't fucking help you here's a story that just piqued my interest if you guys seen this shit about the Greenpeace 30 it's basically 28 Greenpeace guys ladies whatever the fuck you call them Greenpeaceers and two journalists for

some stupid fucking reason they decide they just decide out of the fucking blue to go over up into the Arctic Circle all right and basic what the I gotta I gotta say this right basically what they did they tried to board okay more than a month ago after Russian Coast Guard seized 28 Greenpeace activists and two journals journalists in the Arctic waters following their attempt to board a Russian oil rig these guys got these guys had a meeting these 28 people had a fucking meeting and they were like all right here's the plan to help save the environment or at the very least try to slow down the changing of the environment because there's always gonna be an environment you know taking one from George Carlin there it will always be an environment what's just changing so they

don't like the direction that some of the other human beings the effects they have and honestly decide that they're gonna I don't know try and stop these guys from drilling in this area that Greenpeace feels they shouldn't be drilling it so they're sitting there in the war room drawing up these plans all right and I'm just picturing myself in this fucking meeting because I don't have a problem with Greenpeace you know looks like a very thrilling job sit there zigzagging in front of a fucking whaling ship wind in your hair you know people from other lands shaking their fist at you that sounds like a hell of a fight sounds way better than tying yourself to a tree going come on man not this one you know it just seems like you know it's a good time

so if I have a joint Greenpeace I could see myself getting sucked into a position where I'm in that meeting all right so now you're in the fucking meeting somebody up there who god knows who man or a woman is up there going all right so we're going to go up to the Arctic Circle right there I'm like all right that's gonna be fucking cold what is it it's October the fucking planet starting to tilt away from the sun up there I don't know about this are we going up there on an icebreaker that's my first concern yeah yeah yeah blah blah blah and now we're gonna go fuck with the Russians whoa right there I'm looking around the room they need to see my whole life is a childhood those were the guys you didn't want to fuck with you don't fuck the Russians you know

this isn't like you're gonna go over there and you're gonna go mess with uh I don't know fix anybody the Estonians who the fuck knows anything about Estonia I don't Estonia what are they doing over there do they eat people they don't eat people I'll fuck it let's go over and let's go mess with them the second you say Russians I'm like wait a minute what is this and then they get to the fucking point yeah then we're gonna pull up to their oil rig we're gonna shoot some ropes up it like we're in an action movie and we're gonna start climbing up the side of it and we're going to board their oil rig right there I'm out I'm I'm not fucking doing that shit you out of your mind we're gonna get shot somebody is gonna take

a fucking meat cleaver right as we get up to the top they're gonna pour hot war a fucking oil on us so anyways these fucking jerkoffs get on this goddamn boat and then two journalists go with them to cover it and they fucking they they they go out there and what exactly what you would have thought would happen happened plus fucking like russian navy seal looking guys with these fucking awesome guns pointed at these these people they arrested all of them they took their boat and the two journalists the greenpeace guys are saying that the the fucking boat was in international waters gives a fuck you're at the top of the planet there's no straight sides you know what are you looking at your little fucking watch oh we're on this longitude and

this latitude nobody gives a fuck you just tried to board our oil rig all bets are off so anyways they all got arrested and they're being charged with piracy and they're beside themselves they're just saying yeah the russians just don't seem to understand and it's like no no no no you don't understand you fucking morons you don't you don't do shit like that find my neighbor was planting some ugly bushes in his yard and i wanted to protest i wouldn't try to fucking repel into his living room and then when they they arrest me for fucking breaking and entering i wouldn't be all playing the victim being like dude what the what he's talking about i was protesting your your shrubs you just don't seem to have to see i have the same sense of humor

about this that i do so uh yeah so i don't know like everybody's feeling like talking about this like they're the victims it says the organ the organizer the organization's uk executive director has worked every weekend since the incident in the pecoracy well i hope i said that right the the pecoracy while leading efforts to secure their release but is still finding it difficult to sleep he's in a constant rush or interview blah blah blah he said russia he said russia is sending our out a clear signal saying hands off our part of the arctic and hands off complaining about our right to drill for oil there i think they're saying something a little more than that don't fucking show up to our oil rig like like you got tom cruz on the boat you're gonna do some

mission impossible shit this is the real world jesus christ you guys know how dumb i am right i know not to go out on a fucking boat and try and board a russian oil rig like you know i would just be like that guy in platoon the whole time i got a bad feeling about this man so we're going out there listening to the mamas and the poppers some hippie shit all the leaves are brown and the sky is gray and the sky is gray and these fucking guys start screaming at you in russian dude the guns they had pointed at him with a shit i gotta tell you that right now i think that was the uh the game over i think it was called the game over 9 000 that's what the fuck they were pointing at him so uh you know what are you gonna do there's a lot of dumb

ways to go to prison but uh that i gotta say that's that's right up there how awful is it to get arrested for piracy and you didn't even fucking take the time to dress up like one you know that would be the only saving grace i'd be the only way i'm going on this mission is if i get that fucking hamburgler striped shirt put a patch over my eye and some sort of cutlass in my fucking mouth is that a knife is that a gun i don't fucking know what do you what do you call that one of those one of those it's not a sword it's a fat sword it's like a meat cleaver that got an erection stick that right in your fucking mouth that's very phallic and then you climb up the side going i are your fucking ace i'm really in the archic meaty um when instead you're fucking

climbing up the side one two three four we don't watch you drilling for oil okay all right easy guys hands up everybody jesus they're they're serious um all right let's get to some advertising here for this week the green piece 30 everybody let's try to keep up on that one can you believe it who would have thought who would have thought you couldn't fucking just pull up to an oil rig in the middle of the fucking ocean dude you couldn't do that to axon the very least someone's gonna pee on you as you're climbing up the side somebody it's far enough in the ocean somebody might even take a shit i don't think cell phone cameras work out there because of the bermuda triangle um dollar shave club everybody oh yeah i talk about this

every damn week um there's so many things in the world that irritate me hippies boarding a russian oil rig and getting charged for piracy and then sitting there staring at their bergenstock shaking their head going i don't understand do you like how much i'm stereotyping them that they're like this i'm sure they're hippies 2.0's whatever what else bothers me um the red socks beards i can't tell one from in the other that's been bugging me and um i don't know my my the way i've been living my life lately very unhealthy that's been bugging me but listen with all that things that was so many things out there that can irritate you why would you add razors to the list you fucking moron come on do the math here it's time to stop

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sign up for your razors today go to dollarshaveclub.com forward slash burr burr that's dollarshaveclub.com forward slash burr burr or go to billburr.com and click on the dollar shape club banner all right hulu plus everybody you know last the last couple of weeks i keep saying that they have breaking bad on there and you know what evidently they don't so why don't i actually go to the friggin website and try and look it up here let's see what they got going on here well you first try one week free jesus christ help me out here how am i supposed to figure this out oh fuck yourself everybody's trying to get you information um do you know i tried to rent a bicycle here in boston yeah i did that i did that i was gonna ride a bike and i felt good about it and you guys

could say anything you want about me i don't care i like riding bicycles in cities and when i ride them i like going as i go by pedestrians waiting to uh waiting across the street makes me smile so anyways they they have these you know they have a new york city you know those city bikes unless you're in a rich neighborhood and they don't want bicycles in the neighborhood it's you know what's amazing about rich people it's just how much they just don't want to be around other people and you know i i hundred percent get it i fucking respect that the fuck out of here your animals all right do you think i stole all this fucking money to listen to you getting on and off a bicycle get the fuck out of here you're a piece of shit and i took your 401k right anyways who

plus everybody no i'm kidding so i um i'll get back to that in a second so i got to rent this bicycle so i'm like all right what's what's the deal i got to stick my credit card in the bike thing so i go ahead and do it and uh then all of a sudden they want my phone number they want my phone number i'm just renting a bike you already have my name and my credit card number you know who took the bike what do you need my phone number for you know who i am you know when i took it you know i didn't bring it back okay you have my credit card that's going to link it to where the fuck i live and that's it it's over i got i got to give you the bike back why do you want my fucking credit my phone number fucking cunts they just can't make it's not enough they're making money

off the bike now they got to get one more piece of information out of you so then they can then stockpile all those numbers with your credit card information and then sell them to the fucking telemarketers so i said you know what fuck you bicycle i'm not bicycle company i'm not using it so fuck them i don't know if they do that new york city but i'm not renting a bike in uh in boston don't give him your phone number you asshole i wonder if i could have just made up one i'm really big on misinformation you know when you can get away with it always put out other information about yourself give yourself a chance all right hulu plus everybody uh you probably tried hulu.com now with hulu plus you can watch your favorite shows anytime anywhere hulu plus lets you watch

thousands of hit tv shows and a selection of acclaimed movies on your television or on the go with your smartphone or tablet that's the amazing thing about this everybody this is really like watching tv in the future like even when i was a kid i never even dreamed that you could do something like that just walk around watching tv everywhere it's awesome um it streams in hd for the best viewing experience with hulu plus you can watch your favorite tv shows current tv shows excuse me like saturday night live community family guy in zillion moors or you can also watch some original programming that uh hulu originals i should say like the awesome starring snl sef miah's and moon boy starring chris o dowd from bridesmaids hulu plus also offers a great selection

of acclaimed films for only seven ninety nine a month you can stream as many tv shows and movies as you want wherever you want this is the future people this is how you watch tv right now you can try hulu plus free for two weeks when you go to huluplus.com slash bill all in caps bill all in caps right uh that's a special offer from my listeners make sure you use huluplus.com slash bill so you can get an extended free trial um and they'll know that we sent you go to huluplus.com slash bill or click on hulu plus all the hulu plus banner on the podcast page um on billbird.com all righty so back to the fulkin podcast um european trip is coming up everybody rumor has it my agent was talking to me i think we're gonna add not a second but a third show in london

and uh for all you people who've been sending me emails from manchester um england uh don't worry i'm not i don't have time this time to do it in the schedule because i have to i think i go to scotland the next day but without a doubt i promise you when it comes through next year i'm gonna go i'm gonna do a show in manchester i just uh you know it's a fucking zillion miles it's an ocean away i didn't know how i was gonna sell tickets so you always go to the major cities and um i've just gotten a bunch of people saying calling me a cunt telling me to come to manchester and you know that's all i need to hear that's all i need to hear a little bit of interest a little bit of insults and i'm like i like these guys i'm gonna go fucking head up there um

now i'm now forgive me for being stupid here but manchester is that where man united is from it's gotta be right that's crazy to me you would think that the the most successful uh premier league team would be in london doesn't that make sense rather than being in the Worcester of uh of england i'm really i'm really fucking on two levels stepping on landmine here i'm talking sports when i don't even know what the fuck i'm talking about and i'm shitting on cities and i have no idea oh Jesus manchester is that one of those train spotting towns where i'm going to go there and get fucking head butted and have my ear bit off i really don't want to deal with that that's why i feel safe in london i just feel like it's a bunch of people skipping around drinking tea and uh i'm not

going to get beat down you know that's not on my agenda taking a soccer hooligan fucking beat down i tell you a long time ago i read that book among the thugs and uh i'm sure it was exaggerated or even worse maybe it wasn't maybe they toned it down but uh yeah that was enough for me that was enough for me all right anyways i'm just fucking with you guys i'll definitely um you know the more cities i can add when i go over there the more shit i can see the more people i can reach each time i go over to europe i'm just going to keep adding countries and cities and that type of thing that's the game plan and i'm sticking to it oh by the way you guys all talk me out of going to naples jesus christ i might as well said i was going to

fucking date in ohio i've never heard a city get trashed trashed fucking voices cracking here the way naples did okay enough enough said enough said i got it i got it so i think i'm going to stay in rome and then kind of i think florence got some good reviews venice got some good reviews and i really should venice fucking dirty water i gotta go somewhere hey does anybody know a good book on musolini can recommend a good one i've just read so much shit about that guy he reminds me of paul versey you know they both have a shaved head they both think they see things and they both predict shit and they prepare for victory and then they lose um yeah that's it benito versey paul musolini i told you that day when he fucking

i think he was either invading someplace in northern africa or he was going to Greece and hitler told him don't do that shit all right and and musolini's like i don't worry and we got this it's all good he goes out and he buys a white horse to ride through town getting ready for the victory party and then they lost and he's got that big dumb horse he's got nothing to do what do you do he's already dude it's gonna be a bloodbath i got it so i want to read more about this guy um he sounds like quite the character speaking of characters um there's a fucking hilarious hilarious video only because it's all it seems like

that just everybody's drunk and lethargic uh the name of the video is jetfan punches female patriots fan in the face after their victory congratulations to the green cunts by the way um that is your super bowl and you know it is you're not winning it again this year you guys realize you're coming up on your 50th anniversary of not winning a super bowl like the your golden anniversary you know and they and they said it wouldn't last congratulations when you guys don't win it this year this is me just pissed because you guys won um you know you guys jumping around like you did something yesterday uh you wait you wait till we come back healthy you fucks um and that was an excuse and you know what when you're losing the number one fucking defensive

player on all levels fence will fork fucking mayo and akib talib i gotta tell you jeno smith dude that fucking guy he better get a nickname you dumb new yorkers after you fucking said sanshize can you give one to jeno don't you know what don't don't jinx the guy because that guy looks like he's the real deal man i really like that guy he's a quarterback man and i don't give a fuck man patriots aren't winning shit this year anyways you know i don't mean that no bad way but i'm a realist okay i'm still enjoying the season fucking cunt um anyway so it's at the end of the game and so the name of the video is is like basically male jet fan punches female patriots fan in face what it really should have said was male jet fan punches female patriots fan in the

face after female patriots fan was punching him in the face for some reason you know because you're not supposed to hit a woman in the face whenever they show these videos they either cut out that part of the video or they show it and the people on tv never commentate on the fact that the woman was punching this guy in the face dude you gotta see this jets fan it's fucking hilarious he's so shit-faced and like lethargic that's the thing because everything is just sort of like in slow motion roundhouse and he takes a lot of punishment but he never uh he never loses focus i call him the big unflappable if you watch him you know tim duncan is the big fundamental this drunk jet fan was was the big unflappable and i gotta tell you that female pats fan she took that punch like a

champ popped right back up um i don't know what was going on but that jet fan i don't know if he did something it starts right at the beginning of the video and he does something and then it looks like two ladies and some fat guy in a blue shirt are kind of swinging on him and he's just like in slow motion like just punching people in the face and uh i don't know he obviously shouldn't have done it and deserves to be punished but uh this is something i think that i've asked before of female fans on this podcast if i have any um how do you feel about that obviously you should never punch a woman in the face but no you know what fuck this let me ask a better question any woman to listen to this podcast have you ever just gotten mad at a guy in a bar and

just started punching him in the face and when you're doing that or punching him in the head when you're doing that is there any fear that the guy is going to hit you back are you are you literally thinking like well you can't hit you i'm a lady you can't hit me i'm in the safety zone or are you just simply so mad you lost your shit and you're just throwing punches because um like i said i don't think that that jet fan should have done what he did what he should have done what a gentleman does when a woman is punching him in the face is you go with you go with a front kick at like 30 speed if you go with the front kick 30 power that's what you do it's so it's not quite a kick it's sort of just pushing her off you you know you just sort of you just you know kind of give

one of those keeps her at bay leg is longer than the arm you know but then there's that thing where you got to do it fast enough because the second you do it you know some guys are going to come in and totally overreact because you actually made physical contact with this human being that does not have a penis has a vagina yet is throwing punches at you it's really it's a really weird dynamic but uh i gotta tell you the big unflappable he did all right he's got it he's got to wear a jet's jersey he's got some you guys got to pull some money together after you bail him out you got to get him a jet's jersey and on the back he got to have the big unflappable um i don't know somebody's probably going to get mad at there is no excuse done

whatsoever i'm not saying there is but i just i don't know i find that that that dynamic is uh interesting um i don't know i heard a great guy fucking bum the other day just walking down the street just the way he was begging was great he had some sort of musical background and you went you walked by him he had this great voice and you just go change change change change change i can't even do it the way he did it put a smile on your face he just went right down the scale i didn't have any money i only had fucking atm money you know so you got like a couple of 20s in your pocket it's like all right i want to help you but dude i'm not trying to help you you know i'm trying to get you a sandwich i'm not trying to fucking buy you you know i don't know what can

you get with 20 20 bucks is a bit much you ever give me you ever given a homeless guy like uh like five bucks or 10 bucks and they react the same way as if you gave him a quarter and you kind of get mad kind of a jason alexander moment where you wanted to get credit but then you also think like well you know if i don't have a house or an apartment you know getting five dollars really is not a major step in that direction it's just maybe i can get the egg and swiss you know the ham and egg i can get a ham egg and cheese as opposed to an egg and cheese and then i'm gonna eat that and then in 90 minutes i'm gonna be fucking hungry again so i kind of get it but it's also kind of annoying change change change change change change um so anyways world

series starts tomorrow night if you want to jump on my bandwagon i have the shiniest bandwagon the newest and shiniest bandwagon in town um oh dude i've gotten a fucking argument with someone really bill what a surprise don't come at me with that attitude all right i got this big argument with somebody uh the other day they were telling me all about los angeles talking about uh fake tits and all that type of thing was make you know and those jobs and you know i went out to la everybody's so plastic and fake out there it's just like you're a fucking moron yeah and everybody back here just tells the truth right is that what you're telling me fucking blows my mind it just really does and i've just like you know what kills me as i've lived out there for six years and i'm like

look i know when you first get there i know what you do you go down fucking sunset strip you go down hollywood boulevard yeah and that's what you see okay you're telling me when you go to the fucking meatpacking district in new york city it's not a bunch of plastic phony fucking paris hilton types or whatever the fuck the new one is of that ilk yeah you go to the fucking club scene with the beautiful people it's always going to be a bunch of phony people but i gotta tell you i don't think the plastic surgery is that bad in la and i know all you guys are like oh my god and what are you even reacting to have you fucking but this guy i i've lived out there for fucking six years and i'm telling him go dude it's really not like that there's a lot of really talented good people out

nah so yeah yeah what the fuck do i know i just live out there you've been out there six days i've been out there six years what the fuck would i know please by all means you tell me about what you know i'm somehow missing i have got to be honest with you if you really want to see plastic surgery that's out of control um these are my top three places and then there's uh my my wildcard pick i would say orange county california dallas texas and uh miami beach florida unbelievable and then my my my wildcard the impossible dream would might be i would say phoenix arizona with the fake tits um but even then i think fake tits are out you know like roller blades they were they're like a 90s thing at the very least they don't have them like uh

you remember those ones they had in the 90s oh jesus christ those fucking clean eastwood vane on the side of them yeah the women fortunately stopped doing that there's never been a pair of fake boobs that looks better than the real thing than whatever the original real boobs just look way better regardless of size way better you know what i mean i don't know i guess when you have a shirt on nobody can tell but i don't i don't know the fuck that's just weird that's that's fucking insane to take a plastic bag of chemicals and stick that in you rather than keeping your beautiful normal ones i'm pro boobs look at me talking nicely about boobs here

in october oh by the way uh i called it with the pink scam it's finally fucking coming out you guys seeing all these articles this is all that pink shit all that brazen when you just can't you look my heart tired of that stuff how can you make fun of it everybody coming down on me you think i'm the bad guy i'm wearing the black hat and fucking october i gotta link for you guys to check out that i i swear to god a hundred people have tweeted to me so it's not my find i'm not going to take credit for it but this is how it works with that pink shit it's basically whatever they sell so say they sell a pink football jersey nfl jersey you buy a tony romo pinky right kami pinko fucking jersey right basically like 10 percent of the wholesale

not the retail price on the jersey now what you pay the 80 hundred bucks whatever the fuck it is the wholesale which is probably we'll say 35 bucks maybe what does it cost them after the kid in the sweatshop makes the fucking thing i don't know we'll just say 35 bucks so 10 percent of that so it's a hundred dollar jersey retail for you 10 percent of the wholesale 35 bucks that's like they donate three dollars and fifty cents and then they pocket the other 96 dollars and fifty cents and then it goes over to the kami pinkos there right they take that three dollars and fifty cents now they have their entire infrastructure on all the people that are making money trying to raise raise awareness like that's their job that's how they pay their rent that's

how they get themselves a yacht that three dollars and fifty cents has to be thrown into the stockpile to pay all those people for their pink cubicles and their pink staplers and all of that shit and by the end of it i don't know what you have left so there you go there you go it's just one big sea of shit i don't know i don't know what the fuck i don't i really don't mind it's one of the dumbest things i've ever seen in my life i think people are aware of it and i just find it to be this weird thing where you have to be that aware of it like it's more important than it's like they're jockeying for positions in like you know this disease march madness you know they're running up the score so they can get the number one seed so they can play a 16 rather than being like a five

you know and playing a 12 i don't know i didn't do a fucking math on that um all right let's get into the um let's get into the fucking letters the letters for the week um i need a man's advice well what the fuck are you emailing me for um long time fan recent subscriber to the podcast i had no idea i'm sorry well i never promoted you know dude why would you know about my fucking podcast isn't there like nine zillion things on the you know give yourself a break there's a zillion things on the internet there's free porn on the internet the very fact that you even listen to two seconds of this is is an unbelievable comment compliment um anyways he said uh i'm recent subscriber but i've obsessively caught up and listened to like five months of monday morning

podcast um breaking bad date night chappelle show all your stand-up saw your recent man home time minneapolis um not a huge football fan what are we getting to here all right well thank you for oh there was an arrow said start here thank you for all those compliments sir all right he says hope you can see the arrow down emoji i love emojis also tipsy for courage to write this i don't know what the fuck that means he's spelling shit wrong anyways he said i've been manifesting manifesting feelings for one of my best guy friends of 15 years now i'm 30 years old and it seems like a no brainer oh this guy's drunk braining well this woman's drunk whoever the fuck this is i'm 30 years old and it seems like a no braining that as friends we make the go

at seeing if it could be more oh Jesus let me see if i can fucking get through this this is like an english person or something who's drunk um i feel like what's holding me back are i'm not 100 percent physically attracted to him i'm worried if it doesn't be if i'm i'm worried if it doesn't work out i risk the chance of losing a great friend after a night of hanging out and drinking i texted him so why have we never messed around in our adult life to which he responded great question i'm not sure jesus to which i said you're what you're epilepsy el lip sis that's not epilepsy your ellipsis indicates an admission of words you know people you know i'm fucking dumb don't use this

what the fuck is that ellipsis what i gotta look this up ellipsis you know a lot of people laugh on but a lot of people also want to hear the definition ellipsis is a series of dots that usually indicate an intentional admission of words sentence or whole sections jesus christ okay all right my world that's dot dot dot i thought that said epilepsy you know what it is i start reading a word and when i can't i don't know what it is i panic like mayor menino and i just throw out a fucking word great question he said i'm not sure dot dot dot to which point i said your ellipsis indicates an admission of words dot dot dot all right you know what right there i'm not fucking you i'm assuming this is a woman at this point um

um yeah anybody uses the word your ear not even that they use the word ellipsis i can i shouldn't own up to my own stupidity or ellip ep ellipsis um indicates an admission of words right there you're already putting him on the defensive you know you're already fucking like mind fucking him anyways he said hoping to get him to make the text move he hasn't oh you thought that if you wrote i'm just gonna keep saying dot dot dot because i'm paranoid everybody's laughing because i'm saying it wrong your dot dot dot indicates an admission of words dot dot dot she says hoping to get him to make the next move dot dot dot he hasn't so is it on me to make the next move is is the risk of running the relationship ruining the relationship not worth it is it even

worthy of your podcast uh what do i do the person says i feel like regardless of if you read this or not this is where i say thanks and go fuck yourself all right um well look if you actually seriously want to uh explore a relationship with somebody it's probably not a good idea to start the relationship after a night of drinking with texting i would think i think that's a that's a sober move now if you just want to fuck the dude then yeah drunk texting is great but i would leave out the big words in case he's a dummy like me um i don't know what is the next move well if you want to pursue it i would bring up the text said sorry you know i was a little drunk when i text you but uh i was you know you know what don't do this this whole thing is set up wrong

you just wrote why have we never messed around in our adult life you didn't say how come have you never taken me to a movie um you've basically the relationship you're setting up here is a fuck buddy so if that's what you want i would say full steam ahead um if that isn't what you want i don't know how to finesse around the drunk texts that you sent so why have we never messed around in our adult life great question i'm not sure your ellipsis i'm saying that right indicates an admission of words who would have fucked whatever texts that this the guy's already drunk he probably looked at what he probably fucking held the phone up to his drunk roommate what does that say uh why is she talking about epilepsy i don't know what to tell you ma'am

um but if you want to hook up with them it's it's there it's there come on you're a female jesus christ how hard can it be you're putting it out there like that you're all set as far as there being a love connection i i don't i don't i don't see it i would do something different go fucking take a cooking class together you gotta do some i'm taking you seriously um type of stuff i don't know you're not that physically attracted to the guy you're drunk texting them you know what you need to well you need some halftime adjustments that's what i would do all right you're better than this you can't you can't go fuck up with a guy that you're attracted to don't settle for less sweetheart all right you need to sober up like me you need to get out of the fog i'm doing it this

week you do it too go hang out with some different people go find a good looking chap that you're attracted to and uh you know go fucking have a cup of tea with them or some shit whatever you do i'm guessing you're from somewhere else because uh just the way some of the expressions beyond that word i couldn't read that i've never heard oh jesus christ i don't know anyways i gave me a headache all right advice dealing with racist family bill i'm a big fan and i need advice about a problem you may have experienced uh my girlfriend is a different race than me and my family is reacting in a racist way about it i didn't have that problem thank god the problem is i am very close to my family i usually talk to well yeah of course you are i usually talk to my parents once a day so this

means i have to deal with their crap on a daily basis um i love your grandmother comes to town bit and that's similar to the kind of bullshit that i'm dealing with on a daily basis uh here's the backstory my family is jewish but not religious my parents are from russia and are old school white as far as they can see it as far as they see it racism is just the way it is and there is no shame in telling it like it is by making ignorant statements statements my folks told me exact words that they want my girlfriend to be jewish but they what my folks told me exact words that they want my girlfriends to be jewish but that they would settle for someone white did you leave something out there sir that doesn't make sense to me

so my girlfriend is levinese slash mexican oh wait wait a second wait a second wait a second oh your family is jewish all right now i get it sorry i'm so fucking dumb this week um um my folks told me that they want my girlfriends to be jewish but they would settle for someone white my girlfriend is levinese slash mexican ever since i mentioned her to my parents they've been making all kinds of racist comments about her um they hate us or why can't you date normal people oh jesus and there will be problems you'll see so i'm stuck i can't dump my girlfriend because i love her and two we have a great relationship and three dumping her just because of racist bullshit would make me a hypocrite but i can't cut off my parents because i love them too

and they have otherwise been wonderful in support of all my life i've tried explaining that my girlfriend is not a problem and that she won't change my relationship with them but my folks keep repeating the same racist bullshit any advice for dealing with my folks would be greatly appreciated thanks and looking forward to seeing you the next time you're in new york city all right well dude you got to live your life you got to do what's right for you and um you know hopefully your parents will come around but here's the deal dude you're going to outlive your parents so they're going to be long gone and if you do everything that they want you to do then when they when they're gone you're living the life they wanted you to live rather than the life that you wanted to live now

if they what they want you to do and what you want to do overlap then fucking by all means full steam ahead but if you really love this girl then i would i would stay with that all right you know what are you what are you gonna do the fuck you're gonna do fuck people you know fuck what they think bunch of fucking mouth-breathing morons why would you even listen to me i'm a look at me i'm a moron but i'm not a moron when it comes to that shit fuck people live live your life and let them uh let them deal with it ah Jesus fucking relationships are hard enough you don't need that shit tell your parents to grow up all right girlfriend sleeping over all right hey bill i'm 26 and my girlfriend of about three months has been staying at my house four to six nights

a week jesus christ this started about the second week we were dating when i asked her to stay over i only meant for that night i gave it time to get used to to get used to someone being my bed it's killing me she lives with her dad and i understand why she would rather stay with me she only has a toothbrush in my house so it's not like we moved in together but i have never lived with a girlfriend before i feel like the relationship moved too fast the worst part is i have to get up for work at about six a.m and feel like i have to tiptoe around so i don't wake her and get dressed and i have to get dressed in the dark i'm also tired in the uh in the day from lack of sleep i've dropped subtle hints when she hasn't spent the night like i slept so good last night that's

fucking hilarious i also started to be loud in the morning and turning on a lamp i think she got the hint but nothing has changed i asked my roommates and his girlfriend for advice but it seemed kind of blunt my roommate's girlfriend is in college so his girlfriend is only there on the weekends and he misses her not being there so he thinks i'm being a bitch uh i don't want to break up with her just find a nice way of saying go the fuck home or i'll see you tomorrow thanks for the advice by the way does everyone say go fuck yourself at the end or do you add that uh yeah no people say go fuck yourself um yeah this is the deal uh you're sound like you're a younger person and yeah that's one of the hardest things you have to learn is how to say what you're saying

i will say what you're feeling knowing that the other person doesn't want to hear it but you say it in a healthy way so i would just say um oh Jesus Christ just say listen we got to talk about something and she'll say what and it's just like uh listen i love when you're over here i love spending time with you but four to six nights a week it's affecting my sleep and you know my job and that type of thing so uh i'd like to have it be more than like two nights a week it just kind of moved a little too fast for me and then she's like what are you saying what are you saying what are you just saying no i'm not saying that i'm not saying i don't like you i'm just saying it moved too quickly and this is on me um i didn't i didn't want to hurt your feelings and i didn't know how to convey it

i know i'm 26 but you know this is an area in my life that i need to work on so i'm trying to get better at this i'm just trying to communicate with you what would make me happy so we can be happy and then you know if she wants to pout and be like wait if you don't have me over here i just won't be over here and then you know what the fuck you're gonna do you've only seen it for three months if she's gonna act like a fucking baby then uh let her but um you mentioned that she lives with her dad and you understand why she would rather stay with me so is that guy a dick so if that guy's a dick then like she's like a stray cat and you gave her some milk and now she's at your door every fucking day that doesn't mean she likes you that's that's not a that's not

a fucking healthy reason for her to be over there four to six times a week she's over there four to six times a week because she loves you that's one thing but she's over there four to six times a week because her dad's a fucking asshole um then she's just kind of being codependent so but that's a whole other can of worms and i don't bring up that part do not bring up her dad by the way on any fucking level when you tell her just say listen this moved really quickly and um all the bullshit that i just said just say it that way and if she's gonna cry then like hoody and the blowfish said a long time ago let her cry all right just let her fucking cry and you know that's what they do when they get upset they cry

so it doesn't mean you're a bad guy just understand that she's crying because you conveyed what's going to make you happy can you imagine if you did that if the shoe was on the other foot and she was just saying listen you watch an espn you watch sports center like three times in the row it's the exact same show can't you just watch it once how many times do you have to look at these highlights what do you think she would do if your bottom lip started quivering and you started crying and then tried to put the entire relationship on that one little thing you know do you think she'd have any fucking guilt i don't think she would so neither should you grant watching espn three times in a row and actually saying hey could you not stay over

here as much as you know they're not on the same level but you know what i'm saying so good luck to you sir just write down on a piece of paper that's what i used to do because i wasn't good at it i just wrote it down on a piece of paper everything that i wanted to say and i would draw a smiley face above it so i would remember not to say it in an angry fucking way i know that sounds stupid but it worked for me so good luck to you sir all right two guys and a lady two guys and a girl all right hey there brother man bill love your show my wife loves you stand up ever since i showed her let it go i've got a situation on my hands here that i would love to hear you your input i had a falling out with one of my closest friends about six years ago it was all

because of a girl that he said he was that he said was his first love and apparently lost his virginity with the girl and i hit it off and i so we started going out we didn't want to hurt his feelings since we were all best friends but after he found out he wanted nothing to do with us which is understandable there's nothing worse than somebody banging somebody used to be in love with right and then they come to you in a mature way it's the last thing you want you want him to sneak around so you could be like how dare you i thought you were friends well they actually can't listen this is just something that we wanted to talk to talk to you about because we value our friendship with you the same way we value the feeling that we both they're just being

mature so you have to fucking sit there and not call them cunts that's the worst all right plowing ahead as the relationship grew she told me that she never was intimate with him and that he didn't even know wait as the relationship grew she told me that she was never intimate with him and that he didn't even know he liked her that way oh and that she didn't he left that out there that she didn't even know that he liked her that way fast forward to present day i'm married to the same girl and have two dogs and in the process of buying our first home together out of the blue out of the fucking blue my friend contacts me via facebook and keeps asking me to go out with him when i say that my wife wants to tag along too he keeps repeating the phrase we got to talk man

man to man before we can start anew i just got all fucking turned around in there what the fuck just happened all right the wife loves it your relationship grew dude you fucked up a pronoun in there and that just threw me right over the cliff as a relationship group she told me she never wanted to be she was never intimate with them now wait a minute this guy said he lost his virginity to her jesus christ it's like a soap opera so you married the girl you got two dogs you're in the process of buying first out of the blue my friend contacts me via facebook and keeps asking me to go out with him oh to have a drink all right when i say that that my wife wants to tag along too we keep repeating the phrase we got to talk man to man before we start anew should i go

um uh no no no you shouldn't you shouldn't because because he's fucking weirdo he sounds like he still has a lock of her hair someplace gotta start man to man dude give me a fee still fucking that's why to wait wait a second why does he want to hang out with you he could walk away that easily how good of friends were you you know if you guys just watch games together because you work together you went to school for a couple years together i mean i think it's a fucking wrap sounds like you got a great thing with your wife why do you want to bring this guy over and then what then what he wants to see what she looks like that's weird dude that's that single white female shit

i i wouldn't should you go no i wouldn't go fuck him all right this is the deal you want to hang out with us we're a couple see us that way other than that you know i i can't fucking help you does that make sense yeah fuck that i wouldn't go stay there with your wife all right three-way relationship sir billiam of orange i like that one it's very uh i feel like i just got knighted with a fucking creamsicle um thanks for the podcast man i'll try to keep this short so my girlfriend and i ah fuck you know what i forgot to read the other advertising there hold on a second let me fucking read this real quick um e voice everybody if you're an entrepreneur and a customer calls do you want to seem like you're

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anyways and right now you can try e voice for free for 30 days go to e voice calm calm or just check uh go to the podcast page at billbird.com and click on the e voice banner last but certainly not least stamps.com's everyone uh pretend you have a water cache in your hand now imagine throwing it in the trash all right that's exactly what you're doing if you're leasing one of those expensive postage meters for your small business long-term commitments maintenance and reset fees expensive ink it's all crazy i know a better way use stamps.com with stamps.com you can get all the benefits of a postage meter and more at a fraction of the cost just use your own computer and printer to get official us postage for any envelope any package any class of mail plus no more time consuming

trips to the post office everything you would do with the post office you can do it right at home from your own desk with stamps.com i use stamps.com to send out my dvds to send out my tour t-shirts and to send out my new fancy pants posters that i'm going to have for my upcoming shows in dc philly in new york uh right now use my last name burr burr for this special offer no risk trial plus 110 dollar bonus offer includes a digital scale and up to 55 dollars free postage don't wait you son of a bitch go to stamps.com right now before you do anything else click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in burr burr that's stamps.com enter burr all right back to the final letter of the podcast here hey how about those Bruins going down to florida showing those

two teams down there how the games play three-way relationship sir bill sir billiam of orange thanks for the podcast man i'll try to keep this short so my girlfriend and i are 25 and been together for about four years things aren't great but they aren't horrible either recently we started hanging out more with her best friend and ever whenever we hang out it's always a great time her friend has been in a bit of a relationship dry spell lately and recently my girlfriend told me that they've been discussing the possibility of us starting a three-way relationship all right all right okay i don't need to read anymore do it do oh wait he says my girlfriend and i have already gone down this road before

with minimal complications but that was primarily a sex only relationship whereas this new one would probably be more serious what are you fucking jack tripper how would it be more serious you're going to live with the two of them that was a threes company reference for anybody under the age of 50 um the problem is i'd really like to date the friend i think that we could make this trio work but i could see myself liking the friend more than my current girlfriend and fucking the whole thing up for everyone i also think that breaking up with my girlfriend after four years just to date her best friend is a cut move and therefore is off the table finally this fucking the fucking question sorry so should i encourage this three-way as it's the only way i'll ever get

to date the friend which seems quite cunty or should i just break up with the girlfriend forget about the whole thing and move west to start fresh thanks again and go fuck yourself please ps come do a gig in main before you get too big for your freckles and only do stadium gigs um first about sir you are a fucking hero and you are living a life life right now that most men only fantasize about myself included that's fucking tremendous that is a tremendous situation to have yourself in you know what i say i say you're fucking both then you dump her and then you're fucking you move west and start afresh that's what you do and that's not a dirty move okay because what your girlfriend is doing all right she's into women she's into both but you're not going to marry this woman all right

this girl she's she's rogue she's a renegade she's going to get a pilot's license fly around the fucking world this is Amelia Earhart man you don't tie this woman down all right fuck that you're not going to marry her you know you're not but you want to fuck a friend all right so why don't you just do it i say you're fucking both all right it's not a cunt move they brought it up you don't think your girlfriend's being selfish here she's not she's sitting there risking her friendship with her girlfriend to drag you into the fold the whole thing's for there's no fucking relationship here sir you're a fuck stick and by all means let them use you as such get yourself some condoms have a great time i'd have my suitcase packed right outside the fucking bedroom door

right then do the porky pig yeah yeah that's all folks and you're fucking out of there god bless you god bless you but that's jesus christ people shit on main people make fun of that state that's that's considered a problem in main everybody it's god's country up there blue potatoes fresh air fucking threesomes they gotta do something to stay warm all right that's the podcast for this week everybody i hope you enjoyed it i hope you have a wonderful week um i'm gonna fucking i don't know go get myself some green juice or something i'm laying off the stokes i'm laying off the booze it's feast or famine with me all right i'm done with this shit uh

somehow still in great shape though i don't know what happened it's probably the liquid diet there all right here's a wrap up everybody know that the show's over don't forget to sign up for your free trial of hulu plus cannot stress that enough people this is tv watching for the future okay hulu plus lets you binge binge on thousands of hit tv shows anytime anywhere in your tv pc smartphone or tablet support this podcast dammit and get an extended free trial of hulu plus when you go to the podcast page at billbird.com and click on the hulu plus banner or go to huluplus.com huluplus.com excuse me slash bill that's huluplus.com slash bill um all right so i got some great gigs coming up um and i'm playing three legendary theaters i'm gonna be at constitution hall dar

constitution hall right down the street from the federal reserve everybody you know i want to take pictures and sell dvds in front of the federal reserve after my show i know i won't be able to all right and judging by the green piece 30 i don't feel like getting arrested for any sort of fucking terrorism or whatever but um let me get to my podcast page here so i can get you the dates on these these are three awesome just gonna be legendary nights uh for myself uh here we go here we go all right on this november 7th dark constitution hall in washington dc and here's the deal with that one everybody that one is uh that's where eddie murphy taped delirious all right enough said um i did that i've performed there one other time but i was there with jim

norton jim brewer and david tell on the antisocial network tour it was awesome and i was really hoping when i came out there they'd have that electric blue carpet for some reason i feel like eddie had the blue carpet um but i think it was just a stage and it was it was awesome so to actually i thought i'd never get to go there again um so the fact that i'm going to be there it's going to be an extra special show and uh i'm really looking forward to it and then on the eighth i'm doing the beacon two shows at the beacon theater um and then on the ninth i'm doing uh two shows at the tower theater um it's just it's just going to be awesome beacon theater obviously you know all my brothers do the beacon run every fucking year there and i've done a number of benefits benefits there i

did the that when i did the night of too many stars when i did the steve jobs bit uh that's where i take that one so um yeah it's amazing to be able to come back there and the people are buying that many tickets so i want to thank all you guys for that and as always dude i called it versi new jersey zone paul versi paul benito musolini versi will be opening for me and it's just going to be an awesome time and i'm really looking forward to it and i got this feel this whole new chunk of material coming so i'm beyond psyched to go out and you know work it out this weekend la and have it ready to go in november all right guys that's the podcast who's playing tonight the g-men the giants trying to not go oh and seven dude paul versi is the

greatest giants fan of all time he no matter how all in one all in two all in three all in four i have to every fucking week they're all in four dude i'm telling you right now they're gonna finish nine and seven the giants are gonna go nine you heard of here first they go in nine and three the rest he was saying last night i was hanging out with them he was still talking positive he says they're all in six he goes they're gonna win this game i think he's gonna said that they're gonna finish eight and eight all right fucking phenomenal fan i gotta respect them for that other than that i make fun of everything else he does all right that's it go fuck yourselves i'll see you uh

you