Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 10-31-24

Episode Date: October 31, 2024

Bill rambles with legendary Guns N' Roses bassist Duff McKagan about his new album 'Lighthouse', upcoming tour, and coming up in the 80's.  Also enjoy a regular episode of the TAMMP with Bill rambling about the world series, the election, and mid-game causes. (00:00) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast with Duff McKagan (46:00) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast (01:19:53) - Thursday Afternoon Throwback 10-31-16 Bill rambles about Halloween, the Cubs, and the Buffalo Bills. (02:26:37) - Anything Better NFL Preview & Picks - Week 9

So I travel a lot. I mean a lot perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right? So I'm out there. I'm living out of suitcases or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy and I want all the comforts of home That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible recently I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado And I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff and before we got to the gigs We were like, let's just get an Airbnb and it is just a more comforting existence you have a kitchen you have a yard you know it's communal living it's just a less stressful place more enjoyable experience so when I go on tour you know like I'll be going on tour

in a couple months I always am like well could my place be an Airbnb you know just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money. And the answer to that is yes, yes, it can be an Airbnb. It's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away. So imagine someone staying at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring the world. Turn your home into an Airbnb.

Give it a shot. You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host. Hey, what's up everybody? It's Bill Burr. Look how shiny my head is, man. All right, so today, Thursday, we kind of got a special thing. Our guest is Duff McKagan from Guns and Roses and he has a new album out and he's on tour. He just crushed it all across Europe, selling out every major city you can think of

and every country out there. And now he's coming to the United States, everywhere, Boston, Chicago, Seattle, all of these Los Angeles, go see him live. And then usually after the interview, we play in a classic episode of the Thursday afternoon just before Friday morning podcast but this week I forgot that I didn't have to do a podcast because I was interviewing Duff but I recorded one anyway so that one

will be up after so listen to that one it's basically you're getting two Thursday afternoon podcasts this week as always thank you for listening and go out and go see Duff live. He's amazing. I will be at the show at the El Rey. I think it's November 12th or 13th. Hope to see you there. All right. Hey, what's going on everybody? It's Bill Burrs. It's the camera and it's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Monday morning podcast and I'm just checking in on you. And look at it, it's videotaped. It is videotaped which means I have a special guest and this guy is one of the most special I've ever had.

Duff McKagan everybody and his band just wrapped a UK European leg of their Lighthouse Tour 24 last week. Listen to this, sold out stops, Scotland, England, the Netherlands, Germany, Czech Republic, Poland, Italy, Switzerland, Belgium, France, and Sweden, basically the whole continent. Among the tour's highlights was a very special guest appearance by Sex Pistol co-founding guitarist Steve Jones

at London, England's Islington Assembly Hall that saw the two longtime friends and neurotic outsiders, bandmates joining forces for electrifying renditions of Johnny Thunder's You Can't Put Your Arms Around a Memory and David Bowie's Heroes. He's here to promote a bunch of tour dates here in the US. Please welcome the one and only Duff McKagan. Thank you Bill, thanks for having me. It's been a long time since I've been on videotape. I know. Well, you know, ATC, man, we're right, we're on the cutting edge of technology. We like to call it vintage technology.

Your first date that I see coming up here, November 4th, is that the election? No, election days are always on Tuesday. Boston, Massachusetts at the Paradise Rock Club. A legendary, is that the original place, do you know? I think it is. I think Guns plays there back in, we did like a club tour with a band called EZO, they were Japanese kind of, they were like Kiss. They were on Geffen. We did this club tour of the East Coast and a little bit of the Midwest,

and we played the Paradise 1987. Do you know ACDC put out a live record there? And then also, when they first were touring the States before, they obviously blew up. And a long time ago, the big radio station there, that's your dog, right? You said that's going to be right around? Yeah. All right. No worries. I just want people to not think that they were hearing stuff. A lot of people eat gummies before they listen to this. I don't want them freaking out. The WBCN, the Rock of Boston,

back when radio shows could break you and everything, they used to have a comedy, a standup comedy, what the hell is it called? The Boston Comedy Riot. And they used to have a comedy, a stand-up comedy, what the hell is it called? The Boston Comedy Riot. And they used to host that there. So there's all kinds of great history there. And after that, November 6th, I just gotta get your dates out here

because I know as much as you like shooting this shit with me, this is business here. You're at New York City, November the 6th in Chicago, at OXSET, Chicago 8th, the 10th in Chicago at the OXSET, Chicago 8th, the 10th in Denver, November 13th at the El Ray on Wilshire, Los Angeles, 18th in Portland, Oregon, and then look at that, you ended Seattle, the show box.

I like this with Joey Shithead Keithley of DOA. That's one of the greatest showbiz names ever. Joey Shithead, yeah. Joe Shithead. I mean, the cool thing is on these dates, and sorry about my dog in the background, there's nothing I can do about it. There's just nothing I can do about it. You can't chestnut to it and let him know who's the alpha male in that house?

Well, he's just, you know, I locked him out of the room and now he's barking. He's going crazy. That's what they do, these puppies. But on the East Coast shows, I have Lee Ving from Fear opening the gigs. He had this band in the 80s called Range War, which was like a country Western band. If you grew up like I did,

I was really fortunate to be exposed to like the early wave of punk rock while I was also listening to ACDC and Kiss and UFO and all that stuff. But I really kind of went head first into like the Pistols and the Clash. And up in the Northwest, we had a band from Vancouver called DOA, which was kind of like my second kiss. They were amazing. And I was 13, 14, 15. And Joey Shithead is a singer and guitar player from DOA. So having him on the West Coast is a big kind of cool get for

me. And Lee Bing from Fear. Fear was one of the heroes for me so That's really cool. I didn't know that you uh shows with both these guys Yeah, I didn't know that you listened to all of that that punk stuff. I I knew that there was some influences How do you think that like affected? Your playing because I always felt like you had like you kind of had like your own Thing happening like as far as like I don't I know with drums. It's called feel

I don't know what it's called with a bass player but like I always loved the way just sort of where you are in every song that I've listened to and punk music was something I could never quite get my head around it was always super fast and I would sit down and try to play to it and I would feel like my right arm was gonna fall off. So out of frustration, I didn't get to listen to enough of that stuff. But how do you think that sort of shaped you as a musician? I mean, if you go back to before it got super fast,

there was the Sex Pistols and there was Paul Cook, the drummer from the Sex Pistols, which I think, you I think this is 1976, they made that record and his groove, they're all mid-tempo rock songs, not unlike the tempos ACDC songs. His pocket groove was so intense that I really learned a lot about rhythm through him, Paul Cook from the Pistols.

So that was a big influence and copperhead and clash as well as, you know, Sling the Family Stone. I grew up in the 70s, the James Gang and Sling the Family Stone and Prince and Motorhead. There's just all of that was on the same radio station back in the day. All right, so tell me about this tour. I mean, you're coming off the gun stuff. You're playing these huge places. It must be an incredible feeling,

obviously to play the huge places, but to come back around and play the clubs and theaters and stuff like the El Ray, I mean, is like a walk in closet compared to what you're used to playing. It has to be, you know, it's gotta be great to just be that close again

to the crowd and feel their energy as you're doing your set. Yeah, I mean, I did the tenderness, had the record called Tendness that came out in 2019, and Shooter Jennings produced it. I used Shooter Jennings band as the band that played on the record, and they did the tour as well with me. We went to Europe and played these theaters, small theaters, not like where you play in London,

but like 1200, 1300 cap. And being that close up, seeing people singing the songs and kind of being affected emotionally by the songs, in that close of quarters for me is actually super special, you know? And I get to see it with guns, I get to see it on a massive scale. And you got to realize like everybody that comes to your show, they have their own story.

And that's a lot of energy. Could be an amazing story. It could have saved somebody's life the day before or whatever. And if you take all that in and kind of appreciate who's coming to your shows, it can be a little bit overwhelming. And so playing the smaller places, it's kind of that on steroids. You can see everybody. And I always end up wondering, like, what's – I wonder what his story is, or that family who came, what's their story? Why are they

here tonight? And I'm appreciative of people spending money and taking the time to come and see something, especially on my solo stuff, like something I do completely alone, you know, like I don't know if the songs are good or not, you know, I'm just record them and we mix them and like, okay, well we put it out and hopefully, you know, people will come to the shows and they do. Yeah, that's amazing. I never thought you guys were even like, I just thought you guys were just up there being rock stars that you would ever be looking.

I can imagine back in the day when I would go to see Dawkin or whatever and they saw some baby face kid with this giant orange fro going, I wonder what his story is. It can't be a good one. I think it comes with a little bit with age or something. Maybe because I had kids and I started to think more outside of what I was doing. I'm not sure, but now I certainly look out and go, you know, I've met more people in my life. I know people have, you know, everybody's got a deepness to them.

So as opposed to just looking out and going, yeah, punters out there. Everybody's got a story. Right. You know, a few years ago, I had like this, I don't know, I don't even know what an existential crisis even means, but I just know it's always used in this moment. Like I became happy. So I was on stage, love my wife, I love my life at home, I love being home.

And I just started thinking like, why am I still doing this? Like, it was this panic attack, like, I used to need to do it. It was my whole identity, it affected my mood. If I had a good set, I felt good about myself. If I had a bad set, like, I went all the way down to the bottom of the lagoon, you know? And all of a sudden, I was like happy,

so it was like this six-week period of me doing stand-up and I didn't even know why I was up there. Like what do I do this for if I don't want to kind of go out on the road anymore necessarily? And then I kind of one night, I think I was doing the Roxy and it just kind of popped in my head, it's like well why don't you do it for somebody else, you selfish asshole. Like maybe somebody out there had a tough week and needs a laugh, and then all of a sudden I was like, oh my god, I have a purpose again. That's right, I'm a dancing clown to take the edge off your week.

And it added a, what I like to think is a lightness to my act, but I just think I was such an angry cunt for so long that people never see past that because I recently recorded a special and it's funny how they try to advertise it. They rage, ranting and stuff. And I go, I don't think I'm doing that. Maybe I am. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, I followed your career and especially your social commentary and stuff. especially your kind of like social commentary and stuff,

you give us a break, you know? You think for us, you say the things, oh shit, I wish I would have thought of it that way and said it that way. So it's a release, so you are doing a service, you know? Well, I gotta give you a shout out as far as like Seattle is that is like one of my favorite cities to just be and forget about performing in and it gets a bad rap where I feel like it always gets lumped in with Portland and it is absolutely nothing like it.

It's completely different and I just love the way the city looks because I feel like it just looks like it was built when we first were landing on the moon or pretending to, depending on whatever you believe. It has like that we're gonna colonize the moon vibe to it, like the way the kingdom used to look, the space needle, that monorail, all that concrete and everything. I just, and then it's on the water,

so it's like beautiful and it's like a little bit, you ever see like when you travel,'s a little bit, you ever see, like when you travel, that brutalist architecture? You ever look at that stuff? Which is it? I look at all kinds of architecture. Which kind? Brutalist, I thought it was Eastern European,

and it was sort of behind the communist block, because it just looks like parking garages, but they can have these really crazy shapes to them. And I found out it actually came from England and it's like, it's a ton of concrete and it's sort of an on purpose eyesore. But what's amazing about it is if it's surrounded by beautiful architecture, it becomes beautiful

because it stands out as like something different. When you go to Boston, look at government center is a great example of brutalist thing. And I always just remember looking at it as like- Brutalist, yeah, for sure, for sure. It looked like they started to build a parking garage and they were like, no, wait, it's an apartment. And it's like, no, no, this is NASA's headquarters. And it's just all sort of stacked up. It's like when you give a five-year-old Legos,

and the stairs, if you walk around when you're out there, they're like long and flat. They're just long enough that it's not comfortable to step from one step to another, but they're too short to take two steps, and it's just brute, even the stairs. What an analogy. Yeah, they're like brutal.

And I always make, when I was going to college there and when I would cut through or whatever, or if I was doing a spot and I was like running over to Nick's, I remember always going up those stairs going, these are the fucking worst stairs I've ever been on in my life. Who designed these things? There's like an NBA player designed it. Like this is how they are in his house. And then all these years later I found out through going to some of those cities that you just sold out on your tour, I started seeing this architecture.

I'm going to send you, I'll send you some photos. Please do. It's kind of, you know, being with your punk rock background, I think you would really appreciate it because, you know, punk rock sort of thumbed its nose at, you know, beautiful songs and whatever was going on in music. Like that style of architecture was definitely thumbing its nose because everyone was trying to come up with something ornate and beautiful and they're just like, no, the world is a cold place and this is the building you will live in.

Hey man, I did grow up with the kingdom. That might be a semi, entering the brutalist territory of architecture. 100%. I went to one game there when I was on the road. That's how I dealt with the loneliness of being on the road is I would just try to go to a sporting event. And you remember this week in baseball with Mel Allen? Yes, of course.

Yeah, bump, bump, and he would do all the highlights. And this is before ESPN. So whenever they would show like, like once a week you get to see the highlights So whenever they showed like somebody hitting a home run in the Kingdome They'd always be somebody scurrying across that that weird so, you know, it was the multi-purpose Venue football and baseball so they would like push the bleachers underneath the other bleachers to create like an outfield wall. So I went out there and I, when Ken Griffey was still playing center field, I sat, I deliberately sat out in the outfield seats because I wanted to run down that alleyway, the, the, the,

whatever the aisle to chase a home run ball. Didn't happen, but incredible and incredibly loud too place to see a game. Probably not hard to get a ticket at the Kingdome. It was Mariners, maybe it wasn't then. It was not then. And it was also. Where was that as far as like in the history? It was the late 90s.

So it was after that great 95 team you had. Oh, late 90s. OK. Yeah. So you still had those all late 90s, okay. Yeah. Right. So you still had those, all of those guys, but, you know, I think- Edgar Martinez, you had Edgar, you had Dan Wilson. I don't think A-Rod was there yet. It was before the big steroid home run thing.

So it was sort of like in between those years. Buhner? Jay Buhner? Maybe? Yeah, it was sorta like in in between those those years. Shea Buhner. Maybe yeah It was a while. Yeah. Yeah, I know people don't know Duff is a huge Seattle sports fan. I've seen you do the the 12th man thing at the the Seahawks game which I always I always trash the Seahawks because that stadium is bullshit like they they made it to deliberately Hold in sound. And just as a Patriots fan,

I know if we did a stadium like that, they would have made us tear it down. Yeah, well, good Patriots win last weekend, and that was cool to watch. And I bet against them. This is how I've been handling the Patriots. Did you really? Well, this is how I've been handling them losing

is I just bet against them every week. So at least I win my bet. So I love, you know, and then they beat the Jets. So either way I went either way that that's how you handle your team sucking now is you put a little money on them to lose and You know if they lose you still won some money But if they win the worst is if if they cover the spread and they still lose that's when you got to go out and go take a walk or whatever, but yeah, who would have thought

that Aaron Rodgers Jets things would play out the way that it does? And I don't think anybody is 100% to blame. It's just the franchise is just cursed. I don't understand the moves that they make. It just seems like one of those marriages back in the day where people go out to Vegas and get hammered and then they're just, all right, you know, they're like, we're going with Aaron Rodgers.

And like three days later, they want to annul it. So I don't know. Hey, I just realized if I'm nodding my head, it doesn't really translate well to a podcast. Oh, nodding your head. Well, with our technology here, how about this weird- Or the video tape. Well, what about this weird AI camera now that if you move, all of a sudden there's like an AI director in there, like sort of panning around with you. Like I was in a writer's room yesterday

on a Zoom thing and my back was hurting me, so I laid down on the floor and I was thinking, oh, this is going to be weird. I'm not going to be on camera, but I'm laying down. And the thing literally, the camera went down and was like showing me on the floor. And it was just weird because everyone else was sitting. So I had to get up and get back in the chair. I don't know. What do you think? Well, speaking of the kingdom. Go ahead. So they built that place. You know, I was at, I think it got done in 1976. So I was 13. Like, wait, all of this was for, for this, you know, this monstrosity. It was just super weird and, and kind of Seattle, you know, at that point, like, of course it's going to be weird.

But I saw Led Zeppelin there. No, you didn't say that I saw Led Zeppelin. But I saw Led Zeppelin there. No, you didn't. I can say that I saw Led Zeppelin. And I saw him at the Kingdom. Is that that video they always show? They always show John Bonham playing and he's got the Deedis Dragons. You remember those? He had the blue and white ones? You were at one of those shows?

Yeah, in 77. I'm not sure if that was the Kingdom show, but you know, you got... I saw Aerosmith on the rocks tour there as well There was certain big shows of Kingdom early on but to get used to the sound in there like you had to like by the time I saw Led Zeppelin I knew like get on the floor and You got to kind of just be over to the right a little bit and underneath something else and you might be able to hear it all, right? Other than that, it was just like booming everywhere. How did those guys even play?

Cause they didn't have like in-ear monitors or anything like that back in the day, right? Like there was no click. They just went out and just started playing and it would just bounce off the arena ceiling, right? Well, if you look at Zeppelin, especially, like no matter what size the place they're playing at, they're super close to each other.

You know, they're like playing like on a, like a club stage. So I think they just played each other and let whatever else happen. So let me ask you this, you're going to go see Led Zeppelin. First of all, Aerosmith Rocks, that's probably the greatest album and tour to go see them on, and anything seeing Zeppelin was incredible. Oh man, if I was a few years older, that would have happened for me by the time I came around.

All of that stuff, because I grew up on that music. I grew up in this great neighborhood where all of my friends had older brothers. I was born in 68, and all their older brothers were like four, five, six years older than us. So how we got into Zeppelin and Aerosmith, and I still remember when Van Halen 1 came out. I went over to a friend of mine's house,

and his brother was playing it on a record player and I just remember just hearing, I still remember where I was when I heard it and I was just like, what is that? Like that sounded like it was from like outer space but it always kills me that I wasn't just four or five years older so I could have actually gone and seen like, I didn't start going to concerts until 86.

So by then, you know what I mean? So I was like 17, 18 years old. So I missed the Back in Black tour, I missed the Van Halen one, I missed the 70s Aerosmith, I missed Zeppelin, I missed sort of all of that. But I saw your guys whole era, and one of my big regrets is I forget I think I was going to school and I couldn't make it you guys were on your

first like sort of big tour and you were opening for Motley Crue and I was living in North Carolina at the time and I couldn't see it and it's like all right I'll see these guys I'll see them like the next time they come around and then I moved and it just, like the first time I finally saw you guys was when, I remember when we were in France, I ran into you. It just so happened. Was that the first time?

I had ever seen you guys, yeah. Like I had gone to see, like solo stuff you guys did, but I never saw you guys all together. Oh, and when you guys did Use Your Illusion, I had a ticket and my older brother, some girl broke his heart and he was just the head in his hands and I was going,

all right, take my ticket, come on, man. I can't watch you walking around like that. So then I missed you on that one and then all the stuff happened. And then I was just like, fuck, I never saw him. Like you don't understand like how, I'm sure you maybe you do, like when I was born and when you first came and your band came, what like what you guys meant to us,

you know speaking of what we touched on earlier, that was like the album of the decade and spoke to us because as much as we were all part of the same generation, like even you being a few years older than me, just the bands that you saw versus the bands that I saw, like, you know, when you were seeing bands, I was too young. And by the time I started seeing bands, you were in a band out in LA. So there was all like these subsets.

So like, you know, when you're that young, two years is a long time. So as far as- It's all, dude, all has to do, I think about that. My influences, we talked about it earlier, and how it really shaped me. It was also the time I was born, and when I got a paper route,

I got a paper route at 11. So I had some money where I could start buying concert tickets and stuff. I think I saw Led Zeppelin when I was 12. We started going to gigs really early because I had seven older siblings. So I think my mom at that point, she said, just let him go. He's going to go anyhow. But also in Seattle at the same time, 77, 78, they started having these $1 concerts at the Paramount Theater. Those $1 concerts were Iggy Pop, The Clash, The Jam,

all these that the punk and new wave wave of stuff. So we went to all these gigs for a dollar. I mean, who can't afford a dollar? You got a paper route, you can go. And so, if you had a paper route, you were rich. People who are my age in Seattle remember this stuff, the one dollar concerts. And it, and it, so I had Zeppelin and I had Iggy Pop, you know, and they were both just as great to me. That's, I mean, you know what's funny? I had a paper route too from third grade all the way to ninth grade That's what I mean. You know what's funny? I had a paper route too from third grade all the way to ninth grade.

And it was the greatest job ever because all my friends were always like broke or they had to try to get some money from their parents. And I always had money to like, if I was even just like going to school, if I wanted extra food at lunch, it's called getting doubles. You know, if they had the burger,

you'd get doubles, so you'd get two burgers, double order of fries or whatever. And I always had the money to do that. And I've always like, I didn't have money, but I never didn't have money from third grade on. I had enough to do what it was that I wanted to do. And my thing early on was actually going into like sporting events and stuff like that So I kind of had the thing that you had what you know, you were a crazy Seattle sports team fan I had that with all like the Boston teams and and my thing was was going to the Boston Garden for The hockey games which I got to ask you. Did you ever play the original Boston Garden? Do you remember I think we did. Yeah, where the Celtics played, right?

Yep, Celtics and Bruins. And those were the old school barns where now because of safety or whatever, and maybe you'll abuse people, I don't know what, like you can't have the stairs of the upper deck, you can't have them be that steep is what they said. So like, but on those old hockey barns and basketball places, you felt like if somebody pushed you, you were going to fall down onto the ice.

So it was like Thunderdome when you came in there. And I saw ACDC with Cinderella at the Boston Garden, dude. It was one of the best ever. It was the Heat Secret Tour and I think Long Cold Winter for Cinderella, which is hilarious, I can remember that. I lose my cell phone 20 times a day, but anything from the 80s is just this vivid memory because it was so great.

So I don't know. Like, yeah, I think we did. To answer your question, I, I, I, I just, I mean, me to remember everything. Like I've done a few shows stuff. You've done a few shows in your career. But I think we played there because I remember the parquet floor. I remember seeing maybe it was back. Maybe they had it picked up and it was in the back and I'm like, oh, there's the Parquet Floor, the famous Celtics Parquet Floor. My producer Andrew just looked it up.

March of 93, you guys played the original, oh, even has a set list and everything. No way. Yeah. Everything you've ever done is, anybody's ever done is on the internet. So tell us a little bit about your album. Is there a place where people can download it

and we can move, what are they called, cyber albums? Like some streams, there we go. What is the terminology nowadays? I don't know. All your streaming, that's what they say. All your favorite streaming sources. Yeah, streaming everywhere. You know what happened on the European run, I just did,

had a bunch of vinyl and a bunch of CDs and I would sign like before the first gig in Dublin they had like stacks of stuff to sign I'm like okay we're not gonna sell all this vinyl and CDs people buy CDs and I signed like a hundred or maybe more CDs and maybe a hundred records and that stuff was gone so wow and it happened like every gig and it seems to me that right now people are maybe a little, I think everybody streams, but I think it's coming back that people want that physical piece as well. Well, I can't tell you how many times I've done

a new upload or whatever, the new system, whatever, on my phone and I've had to just rebuy an album. Like there's so many albums I've bought like frigging, I've had that album. Like where is this song? And there's nobody that you can call. And then this whole thing where they track you everywhere. Don't do a show at that new Clippers arena. It's like a cashless place and you've got to use your face to get in and out of there.

It's just like, and people are just doing it. I don't understand people that they don't have any, I just understanding of like, I mean, maybe I'm like freaking out, but you know what's hilarious? Somebody recently, you know, got me of, I don't want to like trash, I can't trash who it was, but there's a little hint on this show. I got a motorcycle, right? So somebody sent me a vest that has like an airbag in it. I'm like, oh, this is fantastic. So I'm going, all right, how does this thing work? And it says, read the instructions on it.

And step one was download the app. It's like, this is not a vest, it's a fucking tracking device. And they're just trying to like, every place you go now, they're trying to like, just get any information they can out of you so they can bundle it. It's another revenue stream, Duff. And they're just trying to- I mean, if you don't realize that you're being tracked by getting a phone and getting an iPad or getting a computer,

you gotta just be, I've got nothing, I don't care if somebody's tracking me, they are. I mean, whoever they are, but if somebody wants to, and Apple wants to know where I'm at, they can figure that out in one millisecond. You know what my favorite thing is? Is that you can turn it off. Like they can't turn it back on? You know what my favorite thing is? Is that you can turn it off. Like they can't turn it back on.

You know what I mean? It's like, oh, I'm on the internet. I'm in incognito mode. It's like, oh, are you? Like, how do you know? How the fuck do you know? You just take a thing and you just slide it. I actually do care that they're tracking us

because I just feel like at what point do you feel... I have no problem with people being in control of me. I have no problem people running things. I don't know how to do that, so I don't have any problem with that. But it's like, how far are you going to take this? Can you just fuck off for a second? You walk into places we don't take cash anymore. That's not legal. And then it's like, well, then you have to have the exact amount. It's like, no, I don't.

No, I don't. So this is becoming a different podcast though. My girls grew up to this. So you and I grew up in a time when there was no cell phones, there was a payphone, there was no computers, there was no internet. We had to have coins at the payphone to make a phone call if we were on tour, you know. Yeah, subway tokens. You know what I'm saying? And so we're like the tracking thing to us is like, or the, you know, well, I mean, we

just carry it around with us, this phone. We carry around our tracking device and my car. You know, my car, you download the app. I mean, Audi knows where I'm at, you know my car you download the app I mean Audi knows where I'm at, you know for sure everything You know, I like I like when the phone talks to your car and then it cross Pollinates or whatever it does and it figures out where you live Yeah, it's fucking yes, it has a thing on our Tesla that the GPS she knows when it knows when she's pulling into our garage And it shuts her shuts her side view mirrors.

I hate new cars. I hate them. I'm like, I bought a Jaguar like an idiot and it's already overheating at 40,000 miles. So I gotta get out of this thing. I guess it has the same engine as like the Range Rover. I don't know if that's true, but this is the internet. So they can't sue me.

So I just threw the cars that my wife gets, she gets, you know, she's had a Tesla, now she has another, this electric vehicle, so she fucking, when she walks out, like the door's automatically unlocked before she gets to the car, and then like this symphony is playing this sustained note of music.

So when she lollygags, when she has something to do, it's like you just listen to this, ah, this sound, it's just like, it's just a fucking car. It's like doing too much and anytime I back up, it's just going beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. It's like somebody like, I was like a mother-in-law yelling in your ear. And I used to be able to back up a car

because there weren't any blind spots, but now because of all of these cameras, they don't care how they design it that way. And I can't even get a car between the lines anymore because back in the day, you could see the lines as you pull up. Now you gotta be looking like, you know, it's like dead reckoning when you're flying,

you know, if you don't have your gauges or whatever. You've got to like look at the two lines to put it in. I'm going backwards. Like I want to get something from the 2000s and I just, you know, I got enough issues with stress and everything. I don't need my car bringing anxiety every time. Misreading a blade of grass or a branch hanging down as a person and just screaming in my fucking ear. It's just like- My car, I got it back and out of my garage. I got a new car this year. And I had Ford

car this year. And I had like a Ford Explorer. That's been my favorite car. And I keep my cars for like 10 years. I don't care. It carries equipment and it's an awesome car. But Susan was like, you know, you can get a grown-ups car here in Seattle. Something we can go out and dinner. Like, okay, yeah, you're right, she's already got an SUV. Okay, so I looked around and I got this car that I have, this Audi. It's a great car, but I have to back out of my garage, which is one thing, you know, it's two sides, and then I back out, we have a gate, and I back out of that, you open the gate, and my car, it's like a panic attack backing out of my driveway.

And I think something's coming, somebody's walking down the street or I'm gonna hit something. And I backed out of that garage in an Explorer five million times and it never hit anything. So this car's much smaller. I think they're just like, you ever do like a, of course you have.

You've done like one of those business calls, conference call, right? And you're on there for a half hour, whatever, they're figuring out how to promote whatever tour you're doing or whatever, and you're just waiting to wrap it up. It could have been done in eight minutes. For some reason it's taking 30 minutes. And right at the end of the call when everybody's wrapping it up, all of a sudden somebody who hasn't said shit for a half an hour starts talking, and you know they're just talking to justify them still having a cubicle.

They're like, oh my God, the conversation is going to end. I need to say something. And then they just throw out whatever they can think of, and you have to act like it's a legitimate point rather than some panic response. I feel like that's what the car is doing. It just needs to make mouth breathing morons who have a better car that doesn't yell at them if they sit in somebody else's car, they're like, oh, I want my car to go beep, beep, beep, beep, beep when I back up. I want to be cool.

My wife, when I first got, I bought my car. I keep cars forever too. I'm 56 years old. I'm on my fifth car. I drive them for 10 years. Change the oil and all of that shit. My whole thing is to pay it off, drive it into the ground.

Same. Yeah, so when I got mine in 2016, I ordered it. Because I wanted the color that I wanted, so I ordered it in June, I got it in October, it was exactly what I wanted. And my wife, you know, who had a nice car, when mine opened up, this was the new technology, it opened up, and where you go to step in,

it said Jaguar, and it lit up in blue neon. She's like, what's that? I like that. I wanna get something like that. So I'm like, oh God, what did I do? I think, I'd be honest with you, I think we're at the end of technology as far as like what we need. I think it was great by the mid-90s.

It was fine and now they just keep adding, everything is so just over designed. Yeah. I don't know. Like, what does this have to do with you crushing it on the road here? No, no, it's okay. We can go off into gray areas. You know what I did notice though?

The heavier this podcast got, the quieter your dog got. I think we freaked it out with our dystopian tales of cars. So we got a new dog. Yeah, Susan's like, you, we had, we've always had a dog and then we didn't have a dog for a couple of years and we could travel freely and go on tour and not worry about the kids. My daughters are grown, you know, we had, and she's like, I really want to get a dog or we got to get a new dog. And we got this dog.

She found a dog as a rescue mutt, you know, like eight weeks old. And he's he's adorable as it gets. He's a good little guy, but he takes all of the attention. He takes all of the he wants all the house. And we can't like suddenly it's like having a baby. You can't really travel. You can't travel. You can't be gone.

Susan came over to Europe, she came to Dublin, and she came to London instead of hanging out and going to Paris, doing the rest of the stuff with me. Beautiful, European capitals, gotta get back to the dog. Yeah, you're right. He gotta get back to the dog. I gotta ask you, what's it like being on the other side of parenting, you know, my kids are seven and four now.

And, you know, obviously I started really late. What's it like that day when you become an empty nester? How long does it take to get used to that? Because a lot of people my age have obviously are already empty nesters. So it's always an interesting question, I feel. What was it like for you? Well, I think it's the buildup to it

is more than it actually is. Like we were, so Grace, our older one, went away to college. And so we had May at home, and losing that energy of one of the kids was bizarre for everybody. But we got used to it pretty quick. And then we knew May was going to go away to college in a couple of years.

And when she did, we went and dropped her off in New York City. That's where she went to college. We did the Target thing and the Bed Bath and Beyond down on 14th and got her moved into her dorm. And then we flew out of New York City and you see the city and you're like, oh, our 17-year-old daughter's there by herself. And we got back to Seattle. We got in her house.

And there was about 15 minutes of weirdness. Like, oh, what do we do? You know, we've been, we're so used to raising kids. That's all we've ever done. And about 15 minutes into that, we're like, oh, we can do anything we want now. And so for, and Sue in my case, we've just really enjoyed us, you know,

and kind of doing anything we want. We have a great relationship with our daughters, talk to them every day and see them a lot, but it's just a natural thing. I mean, we got it through it naturally. I'm glad I asked you. I'm glad I asked you because I only listen to people when it comes to parenting that they have some like positive thing It's not like gloom and doom or like sad Okay I remember like right before I was gonna become a parent just like the stuff that people were telling me I wanted to be like do you enjoy being a parent like this doesn't sound right like he's like you play drums

Oh, you're never gonna do that again. It's like yes, I am Kiss that goodbye. It's like, yes I am. Kiss that goodbye. It's like, what am I, just sit there and stare at the kid the whole time? So, I don't know, I've been having a, I've been having a ball doing it, but my daughter's the older one, man, and she, oh my God, she's- I saw her when she was a baby.

I came to your house, I did your podcast, I think. Yeah, and that was when you were moving your daughter into New York. I remember you were getting ready to go do that. Oh, okay, there we go. It was right then. You were at the end and I was at the beginning. And I remember that.

I probably asked you a bunch of questions. But I remember, you know what I loved? And my wife loved how great you were with kids. Because you came into her room and she was like, who's this giant blonde guy, right? And you immediately knew she was uncomfortable, and you did this trick that I use with every kid that freaks out. You just ask them about their toys.

Like you were like, hey, what's, oh wow, that's cool. What's that over there? And kids like, you know, their toys are their universe. And then she just started in a little baby way explaining all the toys and then handing you other toys and you were going, oh man, that's amazing. And I think I have a picture of it somewhere. Obviously I would never upload it, but I just thought it was, you know, being a fan of yours

all those years, seeing you being a rock star to see, you know, Duff as a dad and just looking at that going, oh my God, he's an amazing, amazing father. And yeah, my wife was always touched by that moment too, because so much of what we knew about you was stuff in Hit Parader and all the crazy stuff that they write about you guys. And then just to see like a great human being, just you got down on her level, the whole thing, it was just awesome. Yeah.

Well, I think when we had the girl, I didn't have them, Susan thing, it was just awesome. Yeah. Well, I think when we had the girl, I didn't have them, Susan did, I was just there. But the girls, like I freaked out, like I loved our girls so much. And I remember going to like Whole Foods and stuff and seeing a baby, like, oh, look at the baby. And then, you know, I got tattoos and shit and, oh, get away from my child, you know,

I'm like, oh God, I can't do that. I can't just like go up and, you know, do that, freak out on kids. And so, yeah, with your daughter, I was, you know, at that point I was fully aware of how a kid might look at you or the parents or whatever. And I just, yeah, little girls. I think that's only socially acceptable with dogs

or animals, you're allowed to just, and people don't freak out, but if you kind of come up to their kids, they might freak out a little bit. These days people freak out even on your dogs, so when I come out, hey, what's up? Get away from my dog. Really?

You know what, though, the only thing that reminds me of one time, this fucking drive me up the wall when I was first living in LA the late 90s right mid 90s actually I was living fifth floor this this dump and this guy comes down the hall he's got his dog off its leash and I love dogs and I was about ready to go in my apartment so I bent down and go hey buddy what's going on and the dog's off leash and the guy's down the hall. He goes, don't touch my dog. I'm like, well, put him on a fucking leash, you cunt. I just, you know, it's the only time I ever thought

of hurting an animal. I wanted to kick the dog into the guy's face. Of course. Now you're like, oh, obvious choice. All right, well, I love having you on. So like, you know, you're just, I love having you on. So, like, you know, you're just, I was already a huge fan of yours,

and to getting to know you over the years, you're just such a, you're an incredible musician, you're a great dad, husband, the whole thing, you got the whole thing, and you're up there in Seattle in this beautiful city, and he is currently on tour, Boston, New York, Chicago, Denver, Los Angeles, Portland, Seattle, from November 4th to the 20th.

You're doing it right. You're ending up in Seattle right before Thanksgiving. You do the road long enough, your tour manager knows how you like to work. The great Deft McKagan, love you brother. Thank you so much for coming on. And I'm gonna be down there, the El Rey tour. I will be there.

Cheers, all right. Yeah, Susan said to make sure we plan a dinner. We're gonna be back down in LA for January and February and all that stuff. So we'll hit you guys up. Perfect. Hit me up. All right. Good luck with your new dog. Tell everybody I said hi. I'll see you. All right. See you bud. Bye-bye. Thanks. Bye. All right. Duff McKagan, everybody. How great was that? Go check him out on his tour. Truly, man, like that was no BS.

He's just one of the nicest people you could ever meet and his live band is incredible. And usually when you go to see Duff, he's in Guns N' Roses and depending on where you're sitting, even if you're down front, he's really far away. You can see him in a small intimate setting and gain an even bigger appreciation of what an incredible bass player and musician that he is. All right. That's the podcast. Have a great weekend, you cunts, and I'll talk to you soon.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast and I'm just checking in. How are you? What's going on? How are you? How's it going? What's going on? How are you? How's it going? What's going on with me? I'm watching the world's serious New York Yankees came back and spanked that Dodger Ash last night It's now three games to one and all of a sudden it gets interesting all of a sudden it gets interesting

It was a great game and then the Yankees just blew it open but it was like when they hit the Grand Slam and they went up like five to two. And you got it, their fans just fucking willing them. Their fans were great. The ones behind home played a fucking brutal. Those rich cunts who just spend the whole game underneath eating like fucking lion meat or whatever the playing rock paper scissors to decide who's going to win Kamala or fucking Trump. Um, but the rest of them, the, the bleacher, they, they, they, that's like the Celtics Celtics fans are the same way. There's an expectation that you're supposed to, we win in these situations. So iconic moment there. I do have a bone

to pick with the fucking broadcast is like the level of fucking sports bias for the New York teams is ridiculous. Okay it's a five to four game. Yankees are down 0-3 in this series and I swear to God the announcer goes the Yankees are down 0-3 in this series and I swear to God the announcer goes The Yankees are trying to do what has never been done before right so my ears perk up And like okay obviously he means because it's a World Series it hasn't been done in the World Series But obviously he has to bring up the one time that it's ever been done in the history of fucking baseball and nothing one time that it's ever been done in the history of fucking baseball and nothing. Nothing. It's like,

and it's literally you're talking about the team that had happened to nothing never happened, never happened. Houston Astros, their first championship was complicated. It was, this is this things that they say. And as a Patriots fan, to listen to fucking deflate gate for a fucking decade and a half. I saw Lawrence Taylor the other day was trashing Tom Brady going. I don't think he's the greatest of all time. I don't think I've ever seen a guy achieve At that level the the level of shit that he got which I get it people get jealous And they they just want to say you know it was tougher during my time. I get that shit. I get it all day long. But

like, you know, I can tell you right now, if fucking we were up three games to none and lost four games in a fucking row, we would never hear the fucking end of it. Dan Shaughnessy would write a fucking book. They would make a movie about it. Dude I did that fucking documentary they go you want to be in a documentary about the Patriots dynasty? I go yeah fuck yeah and then the fucking dynasty starts off with Aaron Hernandez in Deflategate it was a fucking hit piece. It's fucking embarrassment. Anyway but just me as a sports fan I am really excited that there's gonna be another game. I love October baseball and,

you know, that Yankee fan base, like I'm telling you, like even as much as you fucking hate him, I don't give a fuck if you fucking hate the Yankees like I do. You gotta give it, their fan base is fucking ridiculous. Like, I was sitting there like nervous for the Dodgers as like they they when when they get behind that fucking team it's it's like I'm telling you it's they're like the fucking 10th man that bullshit about the seahawks 12th man fucking horse shit that they actually stole

from um from the the uh the the Aggies. I think they had to pay him like a settlement. They literally just fucking ripped it off. Why is this guy looking at me? Please tell me he's not gonna fucking talk to me. I'm sitting in my car right now. This guy's just fucking glancing at me like he's never seen somebody alone in a car recording a podcast. I mean what? It's probably the microphone. He probably thinks I'm a fed Or Billy Red Billy the Fed he's a fucking rat he's wearing a wire He's got a giant microphone right in his face So anyway now the series

Now the series gets interesting is is I mean I think game five that's a fucking must win you're not going back to New York and they're looking at tying the thing up that is the fucking amazing thing about a seven game series you're down oh three and it seems like you got ten thousand fucking miles to climb up this mountain and then you win one game and then all of a sudden It's just like the other teams like wait a minute if they win the next game We're then looking at possibly tied series like that's that's how fast it can happen. So Who knows it's it's it's getting It just got way more interesting. It got way more interesting. Now, shout out to the Dodgers. When they're down five to two,

they did not fold five to three, five to four. And I was going like, this team is like fucking Jason in Friday the 13th. You're running away and they just walking you down. And it's inevitable you're taking that machete to the head. But I miss when the Yankees blew it wide open. My kids were going to bed so I got to read the books and all of that stuff. So anyway, it's just fucking great. I wish it was more of a series though, I will be honest with you. I wish it was kind of like, you know, what it before games in I mean to two two would have been great

But anyway not now now you got this big this big story, oh but here's the thing Cuz me, you know, I'm just being a fucking Cunt right cuz I love the Dodgers, but I hate Lakers Laker fans, right? So I Know that they'll be happy if the Dodgers win, right? Because I love the Dodgers, but I hate Lakers, Laker fans, right? So I know that they'll be happy if the Dodgers win, right? So there's a part of me that wants to see him lose, but then I know if the Yankees come back and they win four in a row, not only will they never bring up the Red Sox, because they're like, this is the greatest thing that ever fucking happened, because it's in New York. Which

I'm not exaggerating either. Like the level of fucking biased. We all know if you hit if you're hitting 350 in New York, everybody fucking knows it. If you're hitting 350 for the Texas Rangers, people like, what's that guy's name? And then also like the fucking bias where like, I'll never forget that time I was in New York, and on the cover of the post, they were fucking trashing the Patriots. You know, the Cheatriots are coming to to town to Flakegate and all that shit and on the back page I swear to God they're like A-Rod hits his 600th home run I'm like wait a minute I thought you guys you know I thought you guys were like irate about like everything not being above board so anyway who knows who knows? Who knows? Now, you know, and then what's

great too is that Darger's got two days to fucking think about it. Oh, Tawny hurt his shoulder. That's the worst. That's the fucking worst. I hate when a team, you know, you want to beat the team when they got everybody, everybody healthy, but can you feel bad for a fucking $330 million dollar team? This is, this is kind of like Walmart versus Kmart or whatever. You know, the Doug Stanhope bit that everybody loves, rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for Walmart. I don't think that's that. I don't think that that's the case anymore. That was the case in, I would say, 99-2000, right to about 2005 or whatever just those awful years when a rod and Jeter You had the two best like short stops in the league and on the same fucking team and one agrees to play third base that

Those were the bad years, but other than that nobody's spending more money than the Dodgers. So I don't think I Don't think that holds water anymore. So anyway, oh Billy Freckles Billy Freckles is coming back to Boston. He's going back to Beantown. What do you say? I'm doing Comics Come Home Saturday night, Saturday night, November 2nd, I believe is what it is, right? What's today? Today's the 30th,st Halloween for a sec. Yeah, November 2nd. I'll be there with Dennis Leary Bobby Kelly Lenny Clark and Some other people I don't know who I forget

I got the old brain there so I'll be doing that and then I have I I got the old brain there. So I'll be doing that. And then I have some other things that I'll have to do that I can't talk to you about until next week. That's just how it works. And then I have my tour. I have a one week tour coming up.

I'm working, it starts in Ojai, and then I'm going up the 99. I start in Bakersfield and I go all the way up to Stockton and I'm playing all these old Fox theaters on the way up. And I got my new like hour, hour and 15 that I'm going to be working on. And I'm really, really excited about that. And then I come home and it's fork and Thanksgiving. So, Ohai's gonna be great, because I'm playing this place, the Libby Bowl, whatever the hell it's called, it's like a little... Wait, is that the name of the place?

I don't know, it's a little amphitheater. You know what's funny is I flew up there. Flew the helicopter up there. There's no place, there's no like helipad, there's nothing up there. And I was flying over it, I was trying to see the place. I looked at it on my Google Maps there and I couldn't find it. But, um, I went up there a number of years ago with my lovely wife. So I can always find where we stayed.

And I can always find the downtown area, but there's too many trees around that. You know what it looks like? Do you know in Boston they have where the Boston Pops used to play on the half shell? It's like a little half shell thing, like right on the Charles River. I'll be playing that and that's just gonna be a fun run of shows because it's like a week-long tour but at no point do I ever leave California so you know there's nothing worse you end a tour and you're like in fucking Newfoundland like oh my god I got a fucking nine-hour flight back. Whatever. Connecting in Minneapolis.

All right, plowing ahead. And other good news is the presidential election is it's almost done. It's almost done. You can all get on with your fucking lives. And it will be fantastic. And it's getting down and dirty. All right? Fucking Trump is done with the debates. will be fantastic and it's getting down and dirty. All right, fucking Trump is done with the debates. He doesn't like some broad coming in telling him what for slapping him around the kitchen. He doesn't like that stuff. So now he's just going hardcore

with like the fucking immigrants every fucking four years. Ah, these immigrants That's why the middle class is shrinking It's not billionaires not paying fucking taxes getting rid of all the fucking jobs so they can fucking get some more whores and yachts It's not that's not them That's not who it is I love how they act like immigrants come over here and then they just become like fucking doctors And shit like you're an illegal immigrant. What are you doing?

What what what job are you fucking taking and then meanwhile these fucking these these tech nerds? Stop calling them tech bros. They're tech nerds They're the ones Like that fucking Spotify guy. He took all the music He took all the fucking music. I bet he can't even fucking turn on a record player. He's taken all the fucking residual payments from all these amazing musicians and the music that they made. He gets the fucking money. He's a billionaire. He's a billionaire and everybody else can just go fuck themselves. But like I'm telling you though, you gotta watch out for these immigrants, you gotta

watch out for these trans people. I mean they make up 1% of the population. Oh boy, oh boy. What they're gonna do. I mean you can't watch 10 feet without seeing a trans person. How often do you even see somebody that transitioned? I think there's more redheads than there are trans. Like I'm going to ask you, when was the last time you saw a group of redheads just standing on the fucking corner shooting the shit? You know, they're saying

they were trans people. They're not the problem. They're not the problem. It's these fucking rich cunts. Now, to say that, to say that, like both sides are going to blow the rich people. I don't know. I feel bad. That's what it is. That is, I just feel bad because this guy, they're both saying that they're going to turn this shit around and neither one of them is talking about why we're in this situation. They're not talking about the money behind the money They just fucking pointing fingers at each fucking political party and blaming this and blaming that and it's just like that's not what it is It's the rich cunts. All right, that's my little fucking thing. So I as far as the election goes, I feel fucking hopeless. I feel hopeless As far as the election goes, I feel fucking hopeless. I feel hopeless.

Because they always get rid of the people that say what's really going on early on in the election. And CNN and Fox News have no fucking problem with it. And they don't let the people debate, and they don't put them on the ballot, and they paint them as crazy. Like, all of these guys, you know, all the way back to like fucking Ross Perot,

who would just fucking straight shooters. And they always just, oh, he's crazy. He's a fucking whack job. He's a nut job and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then you just go with the career politician. And you know, they fucking deregulate everything. So these rich people can grow businesses and create more jobs. It's not what happens.

It's from where I'm sitting. From where I'm sitting in the fucking car here. All right, so I had a bad morning, dude. My kids woke up and they wanted donuts. So we never get donuts. And I've always said, you know, if you wake up and you start your day with a donut, you're basically saying that someday

you just wanna be bedridden. Like that's the road that you're on. So I don't I don't fuck with doughnuts, right? So I go into the doughnut shop, all right, to get the doughnuts. I have a little fucking text message that says what my daughter, my son, and my wife want. So I order those and then I look down and I see this maple fucking dough donut, right? And it's one of those long ones that I'm like, that's too much I was like you got a maple donut that isn't like a raft like doesn't look like a fucking footboard on a Harley

You got something a little smaller? So she's like, we have a buttermilk maple one. And I go, all right, let me get that. So I come back to the house. My wife made some scrambled eggs. It was fucking hilarious. My kids, they're eating eggs and having a donut. The only thing they needed was black coffee and they could just fucking do a shift as

a police officer, right? So they're eating like cops. And I don't fuck with that donut. I don't fuck with that donut. I make myself a little cup of tea, right? Billy tea bag, right? And I have a couple sips with that. And I just was like, you know, it'd be good one bite.

One bite of that donut would be good. I took a hit off the crack pipe and that was it. I'm walking out the door to bring my kids to school and I'm fucking finishing off the donut. So, I don't know, but it was just one. Every once in a while. Every once in a while, just have a donut, you know? That's like, back in the day,

if you said that on the Oprah Winfrey Show, she'd be like, I like that. I like that. Every once in a while, have a donut. Yeah, huh? Then she'd look at the crowd and they'd be like, yeah. And a while have a doughnut. Yeah, huh? Did you look at the crowd? They'd be like, yeah, and then you like write a book the next thing, you know, you're like the next big talk show host Like that's how it happened

Right, you would just say something It's just like fucking you know Try it. I can't remember what what the example was She would always just be like I like that I Always felt bad for her. You know, even though she was like a billionaire, I just always looked at her like she's out of her fucking mind just like me. But she's like 40s hot, right? 40s to new 30, right? You know, women do that 50s to new 40. No, it isn't. It's your 50. You're fucking 50. Your

vag is half a century old. What do you... Do you remember that? That was a thing with personal trainers for a while. They would do this thing and they would be like, okay, you're 36 but your body is 39. When they would do like your fat percentages and then you'd work out with them and then they would be like now it's only 38 Now your body's 34. I mean you're just doing the right thing here and then they would literally get It's just like Your 37 your body is 37

The only thing you can be is in good shape for a 37 year old or in bad shape or regular shape but you don't you don't become younger or older. You could fucking do heroin and smoke five packs of cigarettes unfiltered a day you're still 37 and they could say you did the damage it's like you're 70 it's like you're 70. It's like you're 70, but you're not 70. But these personal trainers, okay, who don't have any sort of a degree, as far as I know. You know, whenever I went to a personal trainer, I never saw like, you know, with those suction cup things on the back of a degree and they stuck it on the mirror so you knew that this person had the credentials to tell you how old your body was despite the fact, you know what your birthday is and your age, right? I love scams like that all the way back to the best one ever

Which was which was they have weapons of mass destruction No, the best scam ever was when they were gonna fucking Name a star after you and there was all of these people who lost loved ones and these fucking assholes were like selling them stars up in spares right up there and as you looked up they drove away with your cash. Oh my God, did you see the stand up for cancer last night in the middle of the fucking World Series game? You know, sports, the escape from the tragedy and the horrors of day to day living. Let's just remind everybody that everybody here and everybody had this sad look like I miss my friend Jerry.

He died of cancer it was bad enough when they used to fucking do that now they've actually added sad music underneath it they play sad music so I know somebody in the crowd cried they went to a baseball game and somebody cried they made him cry like an Oprah Winfrey interview. Like, who in that stadium doesn't know cancer exists? Stand up to cancer like cancer is intimidated. Like, oh, shit, they're on their feet. Cancer's excited.

Good, they're on their feet. They're using up their energy. This will make it even. They're weaker now. This will make it even, they're weaker now. This will be easier. Should be laid down to cancer. Get eight hours sleep to cancer. Eat some fucking organic food.

So fucking ridiculous. Stand up to cancer and then these fucking assholes can turn our food supply into poor. What about fragrances? That's another thing. Car fresheners and all that. Do you know like they don't have to say what's in them because they're trying to protect their secret formula. Like if somebody found out what was in Polo Cologne, they would be making a fucking like a fucking pot of it at home. So then like, I guess they're,

they're like these unbelievable amount of carcinogens. So then like, I guess they're like these unbelievable amount of carcinogens. Like, you know that poop spray, cause no one wants to smell the leftover poison that comes out of your ass after you eat the shit food over here. Then they have more cancer causing shit that you spray in the air.

To kill the smell air to kill the smell of fermented fucking toxins. I'm sorry I'm a little punch drunk I'm getting used to the time zone over here and but you know I'm talking about a lot of fucked up shit but this is how I this is how I handle it this is how I handle it. This is how I handle it. This is how I handle it. I just fucking laugh at it. Like, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do, right? Oh, my God.

My wife and my daughter fucking raked me over the coals for cursing in front of them. Oh, you know, I came back, I was making breakfast, I was jet lagged, right? I couldn't find the oven mitt, and I had made a Dutch baby, and I was taking it out of the oven. And like, you know, I had like a dish towel, and the hot part of the skin handle, right? Touched my hand, and I went, fuck!

You know? This is the greatest dad moment in my life was nobody asked me if I was okay. But they criticized the way I, the words I chose to use after burning my hand on a skillet, making them breakfast. I got raked over the coals. I was sitting there apologizing while running cold water on my hand. Sorry everybody. Didn't mean to upset you. I'm just cracking myself up today. You know what it is? This is a trauma response. I just I was supposed to take the whole fall off and I don't know what happened Now I feel like I'm not even home in November and I am Somewhere in my brain. I

Am really sad about that. So what I do is I just act like an idiot because then I don't want to fucking deal with it Here's something a friend of mine posted The other day. This is the doughnut. I fucking, I got sugar in me. Thank God I didn't have a, maybe I should've had a coffee to fucking, would that have leveled it off? No, caffeine gets you jacked. That's weird, because I don't put any sugar in it.

So I feel like it's going to be like, flat me out. I started drinking coffee again when I was over in fucking France. France is not a coffee country. And they were trying to say that they were, and I was like, you're not, you're not. You're just not a coffee country. I didn't get one, I found a good place over there. Bonjour, Jacob.

Was good. Okay. You know what was amazing was to be in Paris and see a fucking Starbucks. And I was just like, wow, they think that's imported coffee. Like, it's imported, oh my god, it must be good. It's like, Starbucks is the worst. They're not even trying. They just burn the shit out of their being. Hey, ya girl, get the fuck outta here. Put some whipped cream on top of it.

We own the night Starbucks anyway I just literally forgot what the fuck I was talking about where was I meandering towards not Paris coffee before that we were talking about the doughnut that's it it's gone just like that just like that another another moment that could have happened on the podcast you know I'll bring it back it's called the weave you know guys, I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm thinking about getting a hair system. You know, just, and I wanna get a bad one. I'm not gonna be like everybody else and fly all the way to Turkey. Just out of curiosity, what exactly is going on in Turkey

that everybody's like, this is the place to go to get a hair transplant. Is it really the place to go? Or are you transplant? Is it really the place to go or are you just that ashamed that you're going to get hair stapled into the top of your head and you want to be as far away as humanly possible? You know what would be funny if that was the reason everybody went out there, which is just because they were so ashamed. Like you couldn't just walk into Cy Sperling and come, just come walking out. You know what's funny about size spurling is you went in with no hair and just came out with hair. That was it. It didn't like

slowly grow in. They were toupees. You just come you go you leave work on Friday right fucking bald. No horseshoe, right? The hair on the sides. And people see it. They see you're a little giddy and a little nervous. Like, what's going on with this guy? He doesn't have this... The usual sadness that he has on Friday afternoons where he knows he's gonna be alone with his own thoughts Saturday or Sunday. There's a little excitement. You think he's got a little puss on the side? Good for him. You know, some chick out there probably has a fucking horseshoe bald fetish, who knows?

And then all of a sudden he comes to fucking work on Monday. He's just got this shag rug. That was the thing too, it wasn't subtle. Cy Sperling fucking threw down. You fucking, you left Friday, you were bald. You came to work on Monday, you were Greek. He gave you like statue hair. Like, you ever see those Greek fucking statues? Everybody's got those fucking black... well they're not black, they're white. They're white, but you know what it is.

The whole dude is powder fucking white Which is funny to me Because those people are like tan So, I don't know why they they made all their statues of these people looking like powdered sugar. I mean, they're fucking whiter than me Um like if I ever got signed to do copper tone for whatever reason they just thought like, you know, we're gonna we're gonna like What do they call that? Casting against type. They would stick me next to two fucking Greek statues, so it would seem like it had actually worked.

All right, here's a question for you. This guy's coming down the fucking street. I don't get how these, these leashes that are like three miles long, it has a handle on it, you carry it like a transistor radio and then like the dog takes off, it becomes longer and then the guy's able to make it shorter. I don't know, everything is so fucking overly designed. Like those electric fucking toilets. I swear to God, I've almost broken like five of those.

Because they're sexist. Like the level of effort it takes to keep the fucking both seats up. Like the second one, like the bottom one that you sit on. For your ass there, it just keeps fucking coming. It's like you gotta like fucking... You know, you gotta face wash it like three fucking times. It's like NHL playoffs. You gotta like set the tone with it before it finally stands up, you can take a piss. Look at that guy walking down this steep fucking hill. Walking down frontwards. That's when you know you're young.

You get older, you gotta walk backwards or somebody has to bring the car around. That's too steep an incline. That's gonna create bone on bone if I walk down that. However, if you back the fucking car up, that could work. Speaking of which, I told you my Jaguar's acting like a Jaguar. I didn't realize they have the same engine as the fucking Range Rovers, Land Rovers and those things notoriously have all kinds of fucking problems with overheating and that type of thing so I just got the car fixed though and it seems to be running alright but you know what I'm doing everybody used to do when they had a carbureted engine is people

used to let a car warm up before they drove away and because I think engine was a little cold it would stall. That's why people did it. But the reason you're supposed to do it is you want to make sure the oil is up to temperature. Because when the oil is cold it like almost like coagulates and it's like sludgy. So it's not lubing the pistons as they thrust through the fucking chambers. So I've started to do that now and I've noticed on my idiot gauge it has like the temperature and on the bottom the top it has the red and you pay attention to the red but on the

bottom it has blue. I was like I never paid attention to that I'm like oh this is fuel injected I could just start it and I've been watching these things these have been coming because I've been talking about how I have to Keep getting my fucking car fixed. So my phone's listening. So now they're on Instagram, they're sending me all these things about mechanics and shit and The one that they just they were talking about is First of all, they were talking about like, you know the worst car to buy and like the top two always Jaguar and Jeeps and Range Rovers. And I was like, fuck. So anyways, but I saw this one mechanic where he goes, yeah, no, I always let my car warm up before I drive it. And then

another thing too is whatever they recommend you change the oil in, divide that in half. So if they say once every five with the synthetic oil once every 10,000 miles, sometimes they say crazy shit like that 5000 miles, just cut it in half. Because they want you to wear out your engine because they don't give a fuck what we're doing to the environment. They just want to make more money. All right, that's it. That's it more baseball everybody. And I'll

tell you kills me as a Red Sox fan to fucking, to give up the level of respect that I have for fucking Yankee fans. It's just like, they are a fucking factor. They just are. Not those cunts behind home plate. The rest of them. They, they, they really are an amazing fan base. All right, and with that, but so is the Dodgers. You know, old Billy even handed here. Old Billy even handed. People, I don't know. It's different though. I'm biased towards the East Coast.

I still think the way that they pushed the team along is fucking, is incredible. So I would say like the best fan base is as far as like it would be Yankees, Celtics. All right, so that's baseball, basketball. Back in the day. Would have been the Canadians. Because they just expected it, they fucking expected it, but now they've gone so long

You know 30 years they haven't won in 31 years and Then they've won like two in the last 40 years. So it's just it kind of it's maybe I think the older generation You know, they're kind of aging out of that but I would still I would say They were great. Black Hawk fans are great, too I Don't think there's really one Standout crowd in the NHL way. They just expect to win. But when I was a kid it was it was Canadian fans and Then what does that leave us with? We got football.

I just think parody kind of killed that. When I was growing up, cowboys and Steeler fans expected it. I think 49ers have a great fan base. As far as like, it's different being just being passionate. It's expecting Like not accepting losing is what it's not just a goal. We expect to win because we always win I mean like they are like no you're wearing our jersey and that means you win championships It's a very unique sound All right, that's it that is the podcast

sound. All right, that's it. That is the podcast. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. I was giggling like a fucking schoolgirl over here. All right, that's it. I will talk to you guys later. Enjoy yourselves. Have a great weekend, you cunts. Enjoy the music picked out by the amazingly talented Andrew them list then we have a bonus episode of the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast and I will talk to you later bye bye. Yeah. Why won't you fucking let me hang up? Why won't you let there we go. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's the Monday morning podcast for Monday, October 31st, 2016. What's going on? How are you? It's Halloween everybody. Happy Halloween.

Oh, happy holla fucking ween. Happy holla fucking weed. Da da da. You're a fucking teen. It's you're too fucking old for candy. What's the cutoff? What's the cutoff tonight when the kids come where you just want to be with some of them and just be like, dude, you're too fucking old. Cleo, get out of here, I'll feed you in a minute.

Go on. I'm telling you, my cutoff is somewhere around like fucking 12. You know, even around 10, they just start saying little wise ass, cunty fucking things. You know, that's the hardest thing about being an adult around a kid is they think they're so fucking smart and it's just like, douche, I was your age. I've been 10, I've been 12. Okay, then I've been 20, 30, 40, almost up to 50,

all right, you dumb fuck, you think I don't know what you're doing? Do you think you're playing with my mind, man? I mean, you just wanna say it to him. Do you remember, everybody's gotta have that. Do you ever have that fucking adult that just fucking, when your parents weren't looking, just looked at you and just told you to shut the fuck up.

It probably doesn't happen nowadays because of all the smartphones and everybody's got a video camera and the kid blogs about it next thing you know you get arrested for I don't know what, I don't know what. Cleo, get out of here. Go on. Go on. You know. But back then, I mean, that's the kind of shit you could do. I remember we were talking in church. Me and my brother and this dude fucking turned around. He goes, hey, shut up.

He just said that. He goes, will you shut up? You know, it's just one of those things, you know, and my mother, and I looked at my mother and she fucking put her eyebrows up like, but yeah, well shut the fuck up. That doesn't happen nowadays, a pair of, oh my, you don't talk, you don't, it's emotional abuse, verbal abuse. No, your kid needs to shut the fuck up. So what hour do you think, there's that fucking hour where they just stop being cute. You know, they just stop being cute and they get fucking annoying and then it goes over

the hill where it just becomes like, you know, they're coming up to your thing and they got the shitty grinch smirk on their face. I'm telling you, this fucking year, this fucking year, if some kid comes up with a smirk on his face, I'm not giving you any candy because of that look on your face. This is what I want to say, but you can't because of that look on your face. And if you do anything to my mailbox or anything like that, I'm going to fucking kill you. All right? You fucking pussy.

You don't even know how to drive yet. Get the fuck out of here. All right? But you can't say, you know, you can't, not in today's America. Not in today's America. Well, you know what? Trump's going to bring that back. I've had such a bad experience, like all my life, all my life, I've been looking for something.

I've been waiting for, I couldn't wait to have a fucking house the kids came by to go trick-or-treating. I mean, I moved out and the first time I lived in the attic of a fucking old house that they turned into an apartment, it was fucking hilarious, and you had to like walk down the center of the apartment so your head wouldn't hit either side of the fucking roof. And I told you guys this, right? I didn't have a bed, I slept in a sleeping bag and I would sleep right by the window

because we didn't have any AC. And then one night there was like some torrential downpour. I was sitting there dreaming I was on a boat or something, something about water. And I woke up just soaking wet. And then it was funny, I ended up catching a cold and like the next day it was like July, it was like 89 degrees out or something

and I had a cold like it was fucking November. Oh God, that fucking sucked. Then I moved back in with my parents, got my shit together, fucking finally graduated fucking college. And then when I moved out, I ended up going to New York City. And people don't go trick or treating in New York City. They have places where they go where all the fucking candy is and they make sure there's no fucking weirdos there.

And then when I finally moved out to LA, I don't know, people still didn't come to my first apartment. It was when I got my house, you know, five years ago, they was just like, all right, now they're going to be coming. And I was fucking loaded for bear. And I, I did the bid on it. I had the full size candy bars. Jesus Christ, Cleo, you're driving me nuts. Get over there and lay it out. There's no way to be mad at a dog for longer than, or frustrated, more than three seconds.

Cleo, can you please lay down? Hey, buddy, lay down, down. Go on. Lay down, there you go. And the follow through, thank you. I already can tell she's not gonna sit there because she's laying down But she has her ears up and she's just staring at me

You know what it is. I had to get up early to do this fucking podcast because I got a bunch of shit That I need to do. So anyways people finally started coming to the fucking house and that's what I found, you know Soon as the Sun goes down the first I know I always talk about this but you got to admit it's true the first like Hour and a half. it's the cutest fucking kids you've ever seen. The parents are great. You know, it's just like a great, it's just, I don't know, it's fucking awesome. The kids are adorable. And then somewhere around, I don't know, between seven and eight, it starts switching over.

And there's just nothing but cunts. Like after like a quarter to nine I mean just everybody you see it's gonna be a bunch of fucking oh man you know something we're renting this fucking house and it's got this crazy driveway I don't think anybody's gonna come up here but next year I promise you guys I have to fucking I want to open the door and be like, ah, nah, you guys, you're too old. You're too old.

Look, go buy some candy. Get the fuck out of here. But then you gotta worry they're gonna fuck up your house. Even if they don't do it that night, they're gonna do it another night. Just be like, come on, man, you guys are too old. Maybe I'll just lie and be like, ah, sorry, I'm out of candy.

How tall are you? Five what? Yeah, I'm out of candy. What do you got? Yeah, there's four, you're not four eleven. Fuck out of here. You're five foot one. Bait it. Oh, you know what you do is what's the worst kind of fucking candy?

What's just a shitty old lady kind of candy? That's what you do. You know with the fucking fruit in the middle of it like real fruit. Oh My god, I don't know about you guys. I don't know what grandmothers are like nowadays But when I was a kid man, my grandma my grandparents had the worst fucking candy At least one of them did and And then I had a paper route. And then there was a bunch of old biddies and shit, a couple that never got married and shit, or their

fucking husband died. And they'd always have this little candy. I have a piece of candy, right? And I'd go to bite into it. Oh, god. I didn't know what the fuck it was. It was just horrible. It was like, did they put you a perfume

in the middle of this shit? I'm sorry, I'm just saying it was disgusting, all right? So anyways, I'm actually going to a Halloween party tonight and I was gonna make some pumpkin bread for the host, I was like, of the party and Nia's going like, I was like, God, man, I got so much shit to do and I gotta make that pumpkin bread. And then she just goes like, uh, at the party. And Nia's going like, I was like, I got so much shit to do and I got to make that pumpkin bread. And then she just goes like, well, why don't you just like not do that?

We'll just, you know, we'll go get a bottle of champagne. She always does that. She always goes, you make your life so fucking hard. It's like it's pumpkin bread. It's not that it's just like, it's fucking, it's going to take me like, you know, 10 minutes to put it together and then throw it in the fucking oven for an hour.

It's just a pain in the ass to do it. She's, why don't we just do this? Like, what the fuck? Just be another asshole showing up with a bottle of wine as opposed to showing up with pumpkin bread? The fuck is, you know, I don't know. I don't know, sometimes, sometimes I don't know, sometimes we don't fucking, we just don't see eye to eye.

Like I want to make my own steam dumpling. She goes, I just buy him a Trader Joe's. You know, those are the, those are the times. You know what I mean? Those are the times we just want to kind of smile and nod and just slowly back towards the front door, get in a car and just never come back Again, yeah In other words lie to yourself that that's what you're gonna do for the next 20 minutes as you drive around

You know talking to yourself It's fucking red lights and you look over It's some beautiful woman half your AIDS going look at that crazy bald old guy And you just sit there you gotta be like wow I'm the crazy bald old guy bald old guy and you just sit there and you gotta be like, wow, I'm the crazy bald old guy. No one's gonna want me out here. And then you go back home and then that's it. That's how it works.

But every once in a while, not actually once in a while, more people than not can commit to that. They can back their way out the front door and they can go through with it. They take it all the way to the divorce. You know? They go out, they get themselves a toupee, you know? They paint it orange, they get a red tie, they run for office. They start people up at truck stops.

Um, this election is so fucked up that, uh, it's got really quieted down after the last fucking debate, if that's what the fuck you want to call it. My big thing this year is I want to know it's just fucking lose-lose. It's fucking lose-lose at the thing. As much as I've been sitting here fucking saying Trump's a fucking racist and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, it's just like, well, the Clintons are from Arkansas. So you know. I don't think they're too fucking enlightened down there either.

I know I'm just fucking being stereotypical here, but give me a break. Old Bill and fucking Hillary, they grew up in Arkansas in the 50s. You might want to go back and look at some of those fucking racist people screaming at black people, kids going to school for the first time. You might want to try to pick her head out or something like that. Give me a fucking break. You're from Arkansas. I love that shit word, just because you're a Democrat, that just means that you're not

homophobic, you're not racist. I wear blue. I just don't fucking... Or that if you're a Republican, then that automatically means that you want to bury babies in the backyard unless they're fucking blue-eyed white babies. You know what I mean? Like that whole fucking, you know, the corporations and all that. They're all fucking cunts.

You know how I know that? Because I'm a cunt too, and I'm somewhere in the middle. I like to think. I definitely lean more fucking left, but I'm also a contrarian, and now I live out here in Hollywood, and I just can't fucking deal with these people out here and That it's it's driving me. I Don't think it's driving me to the right It's it's driving me to say things on the right just to fuck with these people like I love trashing Hillary out here

It's one of my favorite fucking things to do You know I'd last night I was fucking around the stage and I was talking about that I was talking about how you know well Hillary, Hillary's from fucking Arkansas, everybody. And they all kind of laughed. I go, you know, those fucking flyover states that you guys all shit on out here, you know? And you know, of course it gets fucking, I don't, whatever. You know what the big thing is on this ballot is? Wherever the fuck you live, more important than whether that orange-headed fucking racist cunt or that devil woman with her fucking issues, right?

She lived in Arkansas in the 1950s. Jesus Christ. Right? Give me a fucking break. Or, you know what the biggest fucking thing is? Sorry, I'm losing my train of thought here. Is all the props, the state propositions. And this is what pisses me off. So I go to this website to try to figure out California's 17 ballot measure propositions explained. And all they do is they sort of explain the thing.

But what they don't have, what I cannot find is all the bullshit that is attached to each one of these propositions. This shit is so fucked up and I do not understand why this is never addressed. Why on all these propositions, no means yes, yes means no, and then there's a little bit of maybe in there. And then if you vote for the fucking shit There's some other measure Saying that you know yeah, it's okay to fucking stick a baby in a snowbank for fucking

You know 13 hours until it freezes to death or whatever however fucking long would take you know I Just can't find anything that says all the shit that's attached to it Why can't the fucking ballot just be fucking, the proposition just be written clearly so regular people understand it? Yes means yes, no means no, and there's nothing else attached to it. You know, like they'll say, all right, here we go. go proposition 51 allows the sales of 9 billion in bonds to pay for for new kindergarten to 12th grade and community college facilities the basics roughly six million students attend K2 you know what the fuck it is proposition 51 wants

to address the needs by allowing the sale of $9 billion in general obligation bonds to pay for buildings in modernizing K-12 and community college. It's the first school bond measure on the state ballot since 2006. It's unusual because it's sponsored by the building industry. Okay, right there. The fact that it's sponsored by the building industry means they're going to charge us up the fucking ass. And in the end, even though they get 9 billion, they're going to come in with the fucking

tab of about 15 billion. And then they're going to be like, well, we already started, so I guess we got to physically move some fucking shit from Tumblr. Typically the legislator would be the path for getting this kind of proposition on the ballot, but it hasn't been able to do so in recent years. Yeah, the fact that the building industry wants to do it, you already know this is crooked as shit. What you're voting on, about 7 billion, nearly 80, see look at this shit. 7 billion would be allocated to the K-12 thing and what, another 2 billion would be for the community college.

I gotta read all of this shit. Supporters include developers, builders, school board officials, and business groups. I don't like any of those people. All right? Supporters say, all right, supporters say many of our schools need repairs and upgrades to make them safe for our children. That's very vague. Proposition 51 will improve education overall and help expand space and

community colleges so more students can attend. Opponents say Prop 54 would add to the state debt, which is already more than 400 billion. How the fuck is California 400 billion in debt? Bond measures should be passed locally, giving communities control of how the money is spent. And Jesus, I mean, do you feel any closer? All right. So there's one comment. Close the border, eliminate anchor baby citizenship and

reinstitute of all provisions of Proposition 187, let's talk about building more schools. Sorry, I used to always vote yes on these. Now Sacramento has changed my vote. I always vote no on school bonds. Quid pro quo, baby. What does quid pro quo mean? Where the fuck is it? Quid pro quo meaning.

I love that everybody else is dumb as me. A favor or advantage granted or expected in return for something. That doesn't get me any close to understanding it. Quid pro quo. Jesus fucking Christ, what am I on law and order here? Quid pro quo means an exchange of goods or services where one transfer is contingent upon the other. English speakers often, is this tit for tat?

Yeah, Jesus fucking Christ. English speakers often use the term to mean a favor for a favor. Phrases with similar meanings would include give and take tit for tat and you scratch my back I'll scratch yours quit pro crow I guess that's the fucking snooty way of saying that shit let's go back to close the borders here so I can try to figure out what his fucking point is oh I get it close the fucking borders and then I'll fucking then I'll give money to this I see what the's saying. I don't know if it's right or not. All right, fuck politics.

All right, you know what, I tried. I fucking tried. Old Freckles has not flipped out about technology. And I figured out how to watch the NHL on my phone because somebody in the room knew how to do it and they walked me through it. And at one point I started to get upset because I go it's not going on he goes what do you mean it's not going on that's supposed to go on now and I go and then I started getting mad

I go why would it go on why why would it go on it's me if I fucking just brought it down bring it down bring it down you know what I mean like you ever see somebody like revving up the engine ready to do a burnout then I brought it all the way down you know before the tires stopped moving and I realized that was not the tires I was actually burning out the clutch that's one of the most disgusting things you'll ever see is somebody trying to do a fucking burnout and I don't know what happens I still don't quite understand I've never done one I just never wanted to beat the shit out of my car I

basically get it with a stick shift I don't know how you do it with an automatic I've watched fucking the videos. But it's basically you get your RPMs up, you let the clutch out, and then you stomp on the fucking brake. So your tires are already fucking going. But somehow if you fuck that up, you let the clutch out and you're revving the engine, and your tires aren't fucking moving, and you burn out your clutch it's it's the I don't know what that smells like but the smoke is evil looking all right let's move on here oh did anybody watch the Patriots game yesterday Cleo get over there and lay down every oh isn't about you go on go lay down go lay down. Go lay down.

Um, I can't even fucking begin to tell you how much I enjoyed that the fact that the fucking Patriots beat the Bills yesterday. I didn't say this because I take a beforehand because I take a nod. I get what Bill Belichick does in his press conferences where he's like, I'm not going to say anything negative about anybody I'm not going to give you any advantages because you fucking fat cunts in the media are going to take this and give bulletin board Material for the other team. I got to tell you Watching the fucking buffalo bills when we played them when we had a third string quarterback with a broken fucking hand or whatever

The fuck was wrong with them how they got in his face before the game Was such a Bush League fucking move To the point like I've always liked Buffalo. I might be done with that franchise Like I used to give a shit. I you know, they lost four in a row now I'm just like, you know what fuck them You know, it's like you're that insecure that you're not going to win the fucking game that you got to try to pull some shit like that. And I was just like, then I was just thinking, you know, like, you know what?

Two great things happened. We lost. So now we don't have to deal with the pressure of the fucking undefeated season. All of the extra media hype that comes if New England's going undefeated. If you fucking Indianapolis with old fucking, what the fuck's his name there? Peyton Manning, you can be all the way to 13 and oh, nobody's saying nothing, man. They're right down the street from them cows, right? So you took that away. And then also I'm like, the Patriots are gonna beat the shit out of this fucking

team the next time because of that bullshit. Cuz I know in house they must have talked about it. And there you go, you get 41 fucking points whatever the fuck we scored Against you haven't said all that I'd like to say a lot of positive things like Tyra Taylor's like impossible to fucking tackle I know the Bills had a bunch of fucking injuries and I'd make those excuses, but they don't give a fuck those fucking animals They don't give a shit They were talking all kinds of trash to a third string quarterback like they were coming

out on the field getting ready to lose another fucking Super Bowl. I love that you're fucking ringless. I love that you're four and three. Hey Buffalo, we're on our way to the playoffs. See you next year, fuckos. Woo! Oh, I enjoyed that. I really fucking enjoyed that.

You know fucking Rex Ryan told them to do it too. Oh God. I've been waiting to go off on this. You fucking get out there and you fucking fucking fucking fucking cause we're the best fucking fucking in the fucking AFC fucking East. Yeah. Go have another fucking hero. You tub of shit. You want to talk about cheating. You know, we let a little air out of the ball. He got fucking that stomach gastric surgery. He's not he's a fat fuck. He cheated. Letting air out of the ball, he had to fucking choke out three quarters

of his stomach so he could actually see his dick every once in a while. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Anyways. Anyways. Yeah, and I gotta tell you something else. Fucking watching this World Series, I've gone back and forth, back and forth, and back and forth about who the fuck I'm rooting for. I mean, how do you do it? One team's waiting fucking 70... not quite 70 years, right?

68 years? Is that what it is? Yeah, 68 years. The other team hasn't even been to the fucking World Series in 71 years. And I know what you guys think, well, Bill, you're a fucking Red Sox fan. How come you're not for the Cubs? I was totally for the Cubs until I saw the 30 for 30 on fucking Bartman. And when I watched it, all of their, hey, let's play two, you know, hey, you know, we're the lovable fucking losers, we always show up, we just root for them.

All of that went out the window. The way that they fucking, what they did to that kid, I just looked at that shit going like that's exactly what would have happened if someone in Boston did that. New York, Philly, Cleveland, these Cubs fans, for all their fucking Mr. Smith Goes to Washington fucking Apple Pie and Chevrolet way that they did, they're just like us. They're fucking animals. I'm not saying they're as bad as Bills fans or that fucking franchise.

Those cunts. That time I was wearing a Patriots hat, it was the Bills jets. I was rooting for the Bills. I'm taking a piss in the bathroom and somebody pushed me from behind while I was taking the piss. What kind of a fucking coward? Maybe there's a reason he lost four in a fucking row. You know, I used to think it was because of my, I believe he, he was just too nice to win a fucking Super Bowl and he went up against Jimmy Johnson

Let's get him some hookers in a Corvette, right? And Fucking whatever that other guy's name is Jerry Jones With his real housewife fucking looking face Good Lord That guy always looks like you know, he he got like first degree burns on his face. Or maybe like slightly like into the second degrees. But he was like, alright, he refused medical treatment and he just put some salve on his

face. Um, I know. I'm going hard this week. I don't know why. I have no idea why. I'll tell you why. You know why? Because last night I wanted to fucking come home and do my goddamn podcast, but my wife,

you know, wanted to fucking come home and do my goddamn podcast, but my wife, you know Wanted to watch a scary movie. So I said, okay Let's watch it. So we started watching that but doka-duk-duk Whatever the fucking that thing is and I got about like I got about 40 minutes into that movie It's like honey. I don't want to watch the rest of this All right. I hate watching scary movies because I buy in I I hate watching scary movies because I buy in I Fucking buy in and I'm just like I don't want to watch this thing Terrorizing this woman and their kid for the next fucking 90 goddamn minutes because I know neither one of them is gonna die I know eventually they're gonna figure out how to put but docker-duck back into the fucking thing and then they're gonna do something with

The book that lets me know that there's gonna be another one because they're always you know Fucking horror movies can never just fucking end. You know what I mean? Every one of them, they gotta get greedy like Friday the 13th part fucking 97. You know what I mean? Nightmare on Elm Street. You know? They did like 20 of those. Hellraiser 15, Evil Dead Part 6. They just want to keep fucking going. And I don't know. I just don't like fucking sitting there having anxiety. You know, and with each scene, they're gradually going to ramp it up.

The first time, oh, it's just a little bit of knocking. And then there's a shadow. And then, you know, I was just like, this thing's going's gonna I got a bad feeling this thing's gonna kill the dog and I don't want to fucking see that all right they already foreshadowed in the book that that's what's what's gonna happen you know they kind of showed you basically with the pop-up book fuck off if you think I'm ruining this this it's this is like paint by numbers every fucking one of them I getting upset because I just hate so I was like I don't want to watch the rest of this

So she ends up shutting it off And then she's like fucking pissed She's like fucking pissed at me, and it's just like I like Westworld. My wife doesn't give a fuck about Westworld I'm still on episode two because every night. I want to fucking watch it. She's like yeah, I Want to watch the real housewives of fucking St. Louis or whatever the fuck it is. So anyways let me get back to the Cubs thing. So right out of the gate not only is the country it seems for the for the Chicago Cubs it's kind of having this vibe of this foregone conclusion that they're kind of

going to win this thing. So I have family, or I had family back in the day, out in Ohio. My grandmother worked for the Cleveland Press, you know? And way back in the day, I had family. You know, I just had family about there, right? And so growing up, I kind of was, you know, I was always a Red Sox fan, but, you know, I kind of, you know, through my relatives, also kind of rooted for the Indians, you know what I mean?

Like I didn't mind the Indians, even though they were in our division way back in the day. That and the Tigers, you know what I mean? Just because of relatives, cousins and all that shit. So I was just like, you know, I kind of like the fucking Indians. And, you know, that Steve Bartman shit, like the level that they took that to, that's exactly what would have happened in Philly and all this shit. If it had happened out in L.A., that poor kid would have got killed.

You know what I mean? Or San Diego or Sacramento or Fresno or one of these fucking lunatic fucking cities out here where they take sports, Oakland way too seriously San Francisco you know so it made me just kind of fucking sort of pull back and then also it's like I you know what I'm kind of over these fucking cities that have two professional teams in one sport. It's like Chicago won a World Series they won it in 2005 and that whole fucking thing where it's like well that was just that was for the south side of the city So what you need another one for the north side

Fuck the White Sox and the Cubs side, fuck the white socks and the cubs. If one of them wins, just fucking jump on a subway or walk three blocks downtown or uptown and join the fucking parade already. Same thing with the Yankees and the Mets, the Lakers and the Clippers, and everything in fucking New York. Giants, Jets, Yankees, Mets, fucking Rangers, Islanders, Knicks and Nets. Just fuck off with that shit already. It's a New York team. If they win, buy your championship hat and go down there and just be happy that, especially New York, that you're so fucking filthy, stinking, fucking rich that you can have eight teams

where everybody else is doing back flips if they just have one in every sport. You know? Isn't it amazing that New York has all those fucking teams and they don't win that much? You'd think that Jesus Christ, you got eight at bats every fucking year. The fucking Yankees, I swear to God, are like the sugar daddy of New York City. You know what I mean? The giants are the favorite son, and everybody else is getting written out of the will. That's basically how it works with the sports in New York.

You know what? New York should get three teams in every fucking city. Maybe they could fucking do something other than the Yankees and the Giants. I have totally fucking respect for them. But Jesus Christ, the fucking Knicks should combine with the Nets, you know, make like a fucking dream team of those two shit shows same thing with the Rangers and the Islanders you know I don't know the Jets and the Mets I don't know what they should do they should both retire and they should start playing

badminton oh Jesus Bill so anyway so I'm really fucking sitting there and I'm loving seeing Terry Francona killing it and it gets all the way up to three games to one. All right. And I don't know, something happened. Okay. My Cleveland friends, comedians, one of them in particular just starts, he's just talking all this shit and blah, blah, blah, blah.

And he starts to, we got, we won the basketball. Now we're going to win the baseball. You know, you watch, we're going on a fucking run. You yarded with no fucking respect. And he's talking to a fan from Boston. You know what I mean? It's just like, oh, you're going to win two in one fucking year.

Yeah, we did that. We did that a couple of times. And then we won every fucking, we did all of this other. I'm not fucking throwing that in your face. I'm not fucking Throwing that in your face I'm always the guy going like I don't know. I'll say I don't know that other team's tough I never believe we're gonna do it until we do it and then we do then I'm fucking psyched and you can go back to My podcast I wasn't even a cunt when we beat Seattle

So these guys are acting like such fucking cunts. You know what I mean? Oh, we got LeBron. We're gonna fucking do it again this year. Oh, LeBron? Oh, you mean the guy that you guys all burned his jersey and you're all done with? Verzi called that one. Oh, Paul Verzi called that one. Paul Verzi fucking, when he was in Miami, and these Cleveland fans were saying, fuck that guy blah blah blah blah Ferzi said to him you guys are all gonna be sucking his dick when he comes back to town

They were like no way that's never gonna happen. Well, it's happening that whole city's on their fucking knees So anyways So at some point after they went up three games to one, I went back to the Cubs. The reality is, I don't give a shit who wins this fucking thing, because it's going to be great for one city. It's going to be devastating for the other city, obviously. So here's the deal.

This is what's at stake with this World Series. If the Cubs win, the Indians become the Cubs. They become the ones that have gone the fucking longest. All right? So they can't fucking lose. All right. If Cleveland wins, all right, not only the Cubs, still the Cubs. As far as my quick research showed me, the next people in line for second place would be the Colt 45s slash Houston Astros that started in 1962. In 1962, the Chicago Cubs were already 54 years were already 54 years into their drought. Okay?

1962 is 54 years from where the fuck we are right now. Right? So the Astros are 54 years into their drought, where the Cubs were in 1962, and the Cubs are now twice that at 108. I don't know what the fuck that means. Does that mean that you should go play the lottery right now? 54, 62, 108? I have no idea what that fucking means.

It's just one of those number things. But I gotta tell you, it's almost fitting that if the Cubs were gonna win it, that they would torture their fucking fans to this level. And it's fitting that if the Indians were going to lose it, they would go up three to one to lift their fucking team's hopes. This is why I think the Cubs are going to win. If Terry Francona wasn't in that dugout, the master, by the way, he needs, that guy needs

a nickname like the assassin. He needs like a boxer nickname. Like remember Lights Out, James Tony, you know? Or the executioner Bernard Hopkins. He needs a name like that. It's just that he doesn't look like that, but that's exactly what that guy is.

All right. What I'm saying is because of what these teams have done to their fans it would be fitting that the fucking Cubs wouldn't just go in and win the fucking thing so their fans could just relax and finally enjoy your series. They would have to go down three to one before they come back and then Cleveland couldn't just lose the series they'd have to go up three games to one. So this is what's crazy about three gear up three games to one you like holy fuck you start to take the wire off the champagne bottle at that point right. But then all of a sudden you fucking lose game five and just instantly it's like holy fuck if we lose the next one it's all tied up so now the pressure is on the Indians

I'll tell you the Cubs are going in there they're playing loose they got nothing to lose other than fucking a hundred and eight year drought I don't know who's on the mound I don't know what but I'm gonna say the obvious the Cubs got to go they got a they got a score early and make the fucking Indians tighten up that's what the fuck they got to do or that's what's gonna happen in game six either the Cubs are gonna score early Indians fucking tighten up and then lose the game and then we get a game seven or if the Indians go up early it's gonna be a bloodbath it's gonna be a shit show I'm hoping the first thing happens because I want to see I want to

see a game seven against a team that hasn't won in 108 years and a team that hasn't won it fucking what is it team that hasn't won in fucking, uh, what is it, 68 fucking years? 68 is adorable to a Red Sox fan. That's fucking hilarious. I mean, I don't give a fuck. That's like, that's where the, we were there in like the 70s, right? What was 68 for us? What was that, the Mets? Let's see, 1918 to 1978, that's 60 years. Right? And 86, that was 1986. So you're just at Bill Buckner, go fuck yourselves. You know, you're just at Bill Buckner.

As far as where I'm coming from, you gotta go another fucking, another 18 years to 2004. So I guess I won't root for the Indians. No, I can't. I fucking, I don't know. My relatives got me into the Indians. I don't know what to do. I don't know who to root for here. You know, I'm rooting for, I'm rooting for a game seven, rooting for a game seven. And then they're going to go up against each other and one team's finally going to win that critical game seven and get the monkey off their back.

And then the another one is just going gonna add another giant cinder block right on the fucking hearts of their fans it's gonna oh god this one has train right written all over it all right let me read a little bit of fucking advertising ah jesus there bill you didn't fucking copy and paste them um i hope by the way you guys are watching the series because it's been unbelievable. What a fucking great series it's been. Oh Christ, what am I doing? Come on Bill, click here, click there. Alright, how many do we got here?

Alright, okay, here we go. Oh, Lucrete everybody, give me the Luke! Actually great shit, you know what I mean? Your luck can smell great when you go on a date. You know what I mean? That's good for the ladies. You know? Maybe they'll be a little less upset when you go to make your move that night. All right. What do I want to talk about now? Let's go to... Oh, I went down to... I went down to Lago last night. Been slogging through my new fucking bullshit.

Trying to see where the new hour is going to come from. And, uh, I don't know. We'll see. All I know is I don't have any fucking rogue gigs until February. So I can just totally chill out. I've been working out and eating like a fucking animal though. You know, I made this pumpkin bread and shit. You know, Rogan gave me some of that Elk burger, I made it late last night, and then I had a slice of pumpkin bread after it, so it's weird.

It's like I'm in really good shape, but I also got this belly. But, um... I don't know, like, I love the fucking holidays. And to me, the holidays is you throw down you cook you make stuff for Your friends, you know, I mean fuck that I'm not getting a fucking bottle of champagne You know, I'm gonna finish this fucking podcast and I'm gonna go out make some goddamn pumpkin bread, all right I'll show my wife. I'll show her who's boss By the way, you guys really enjoyed that two-hour podcast, huh?

By the way, you guys really enjoyed that two hour podcast, huh? I think we just went into a zone. A two hour podcast is a long ass fucking time, unless you're hanging with Joe Rogan, who I hung out with and finally got him on the podcast last Thursday, if you missed it. Once again, he has a new amazing standup special called Triggered. We talked about everything from hunting elk in wild fucking boar to working out UFC shit, election stuff, stand-up comedy. Just had a great fucking time. But his special is on Netflix so definitely check it out if you get a chance. And alright let's get back to the podcast here. Oh, F1 action and F1 action. I totally missed the fucking race, but I read up on it. Lewis Hamilton wins again. For those of you sort of keeping score now that I'm been keeping score, you

get 25 points if you win 18 for second 15 for third then it's 12 10 8 6 4 2 1 right that's the top by the top fucking 10 works Cleo you could not be more adorable right now and what it is is she wants F OOD I got up a little bit early to do this podcast now she's come over she sat down next to me her ears are down and she's rested her head on my arm and she's just staring at me like I don't know what's going on. All right, dude, I got another 20 minutes. Just fucking relax.

No, no, no, no, not coming up on the couch. Go on, go lay down, go lay down, go lay down. Cleo, get out of here, please. Jesus Christ, what the fuck? Get it, get out of here please. Jesus Christ what the fuck. Get it, get out of here. Cleo get off of the couch. Lay down. Oh now she's needy. Alright anyways. So Rossburg had a fucking league and the last two fucking races Hamilton has both. So he's shaved 14 fucking points off of the lead. All fucking Nico had to do was fucking win one more race, I felt.

If he could have won it yesterday, he could have wrapped this thing up. I'm kind of glad that he didn't, cuz I wanna see the person fucking wrap it up. So the next race, I believe, is in Brazil, which is not until November 13th. And I apologize to F1 fans, because I know I got into this shit, and then I just dropped the ball on the last four or five ones. But I'm fucking living in this goddamn house. I fucked up.

I forgot that it was this week, and that I actually figured out through Apple TV or some shit that I patiently worked my way through and actually figured out That I could actually get Was it NBC Sports is that the name of the channel and I could have watched the game I should could have watched the race so I got to go home today My house around the fucking corner tape that fucking thing By the way the kitchens just come to a grinding fucking halt I don't know why but they still tell us that they're gonna finish on fucking thing. By the way, the kitchens just come to a grinding fucking halt. I don't know why, but they're still telling us that they're gonna finish on fucking time, so...

Whatever. Whatever. I'm sure they will. I'm fucking sure they will. Alright, let's get out of this. Let's do some, uh... What can I talk about now? Did you guys watch Clemson, Florida? Fucking amazing game. I also watched the, uh... Not Clemson, Florida. Florida State.. I also watched the, not Clemson, Florida, Florida State.

Then I also watched Florida, fucking Georgia. And you know, I was thinking when I first saw it, I was just like, man, I gotta go to that game. I gotta go to that game in Jacksonville. The biggest outdoor cocktail party in the world, as they say. And I'm like, I bet the fans are cool with each other. They're fucking, you know, cause it's a neutral site. You know, everybody's just psyched to be away from their house.

Sorry I'm fucking yawning here. Georgia scores first, they cut to the Georgia fans in the stands and I clearly see this guy turned around not facing the field and just giving the finger to the Florida fans above them and I'm just like, wow. All right, it's at that level. Okay, it's at that fucking level. I, you know, I really All right, it's at that level. Okay, it's at that fucking level. I really had no interest in going to that game. I want to go to the Swamp,

and I've been to a Georgia home game between the hedges. And I've been to a Jacksonville versus Bengals game, so I felt like I'd been to that stadium. But after seeing it, I was like, fuck man, that looks like fun. And I always have a great time in Jacksonville. Everybody shits on Jacksonville. It's a good fucking time if you take the stick

out of your ass. You can go to a gun range, shoot guns with the fucking silencer on. All right, Cleo, the only thing I can do is just sit here and pet you as I do the rest of this, all right? All right, Westwood. Dear Bill, glad you love Westworld.

For some reason he wrote Westwood in the beginning. Glad you love Westworld. For some reason he wrote Westworld in the beginning. Glad you love Westworld. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the rest of the season. If you like that and you're looking for a great movie to watch, check out The 13th Floor. It came out in the late 90s and deals with similar themes. Are you into reading fan theories?

A common one now that is a non-spo, is that Ed Harris' character and the nice guy who's new to the park are the same person. Another claims that it's actually all on Mars. Oh, for Westworld? Yeah. Well, I gotta get caught up before people ruin shit. I'll definitely check out the 13th floor, and I think I'm going to watch an episode, episode three of Westworld, because I think they're up to five at this point. I'm going to watch that today, and I'm going to get caught up in, you know, because my wife fucking cheated on me with TV. You know what I mean?

When you guys have your shows, right? We watched that show below deck with a Yacht East, get on there, right? And it's just, it's a reality show that we can both watch because they're always in the fucking Mediterranean, they got a fucking yacht, it's the shit. We always think, ah, we should do that, it'd be fucking awesome. And then you look up the prices and it's like the price of a house to rent one of those fucking things. You gotta be like Beyonce and Jay-Z, like both of you can sell out the Rose Bowl on any given

fucking night. You got to be that level of wealth to fucking justify. Do you realize the two of them are almost worth a billion dollars? So for them to blow 250 grand on a fucking yacht is like, let's just say you're worth $100 million. If you're worth $100 million, 250 grand is like 0.25% of your money, right? Because a million is like 1%, right? So I don't know how to work that out.

It's like 25% of 1%, whatever the fuck that is, of your money. And they're worth 10 times that. So that's like you and I, hey, you want a yacht for a week, and you take a penny out of your pocket and you break it into four fucking pieces and just hand it to them. There you go. There you go. Yeah, we'd like all the amenities. Anyways, I will definitely be checking that out.

Ed Harris is like, as always, as always, one of the greatest actors of all fucking time. I'll watch anything that that guy's in, I swear to God. The only thing I never saw was when he was the one where, oh God, you're on it again! Fuck! The only one I never saw was the one where he played the painter and that got nominated, or he got nominated for an Oscar, so I still haven't seen that when he played the painter and that got nominated or he got nominated for an Oscar.

So I still haven't seen that one. So I got to check that out. All right. Old toys. Dear Billy potato head. I love that. That's a good one because that kind of shits on my Irish heritage and then also makes fun of the shape of my head.

If if if you ever have kids, will you try and expose them to toys that you enjoyed as a child? You strike me as a matchbox car kid. I don't force the toys of my childhood on my kids, but I've put a couple army men in their general area to give them a chance to play like I did. I am a huge, um, ag greer of that proponent of that opponent of that proponent. Oh, that's what proponent means. You're pro, right? I never knew what that meant. I just kind of figured that out. Oh, opponent proponent. Oh, pumpkin bread, pro pumpkin bread. I get it. Um, yeah, absolutely. I absolutely, uh,

it? Um, yeah, absolutely. I absolutely, uh, I absolutely will do that. Um, my big thing is playing catch. And, uh, you know, I'm going to buy a fucking, I'm going to buy a, uh, a lefty glove for myself is what I'm going to do because I can throw a little bit with my left hand. And rather than just sitting there firing it into my kid, I'd fucking, I'm going to go with the left hand. We were doing that yesterday. We had a football, right? This place that we're renting here has this fucking great pool.

So it was halftime of the Florida game. We were out there smoking cigars and shit. And when we finished that up, we got the game turned up loud. So the game became there was four guys, right? So you had two on one side of the pool, two on the other side of the pool. So you had to throw with your opposite hand. First person that sent it into the pool, or if you had a catchable ball and it fell into the pool, was, I don't know, whatever the fuck it was, was that thing, that word you

can't fucking say anymore because everybody gets offended. And it's not a racial slur, but it is, you know the word. Nobody said it, but we all knew without saying, we're older guys, that's what it means. So anyways, yeah, I would definitely do that. I was not a matchbox car kid. I was Corgi cars. We used to call them Corgi because we didn't always pronounce Corgi until we got older. I'm so old that I remember when they had rubber wheels on them and I had the giant oil truck. I was big. I had all the race cars. I had the Johnny Player Special. I had the Jackie Stewart Elf car. And my mother doesn't throw out shit, so I still have all of them. I had one of those, you know, that kind of racing where the car just looks like a giant

door stop. It wasn't Formula One. It wasn't, it's not IndyCar Racing. It's not open wheel. You know what, the car looks like a water slide. You could slide from the fin all the way down to the front. I don't know what kind. I had a white and red one of those. Lincoln Logs, Lego blocks, stuff like that.

I think it's big to keep your kids, you know, I don't know, you got to get them outside. And you got to keep them in their own, I don't know, you got to get them outside. And you got to you got to keep them in their own. I don't know. I have such a hatred of computers and iPads and all of that shit. And kids just love them. I mean, they go up to it like. You know, liquid television type of shit, you know, back in the day, the MTV, I remember that graphic, I used to just make me want to sit down and watch it. I don't know, Mr. Potato Head. Back in the day the MTV. I remember that graphic. I used to just make me want to sit down and watch it I Don't know mr. Potato head. I don't know about that definitely like board games. I

Think it'd be fun playing cards. I think it's cool to expose your kids to that You know, so they have like that old-school shit like wasn't it always the greatest like when like for me if I met school shit. Like wasn't it always the greatest like when like for me if I met some woman I took her out on a date and she had she had some old-school stuff about her you know I mean that that stuff that was sort of passed down I think that's really like a cool thing and I think like some shit like playing cards playing catch like going outside. It's just like, you know, riding bicycles. Just like all that shit is going away.

And I'm not one of these old people that I look at young kids and be like, you know, what are they doing today? They're fucking nuts. And these kids today, they don't get it. And it's just like, I totally get why they're doing it. Because I had to tap out Grand Theft Auto 3 in 2003 or 2004. I had to unplug my PlayStation and stick it in the back of the closet. I literally just one day, it was like the fifth day in a row, I was just playing all day long and I could not stop.

I had already beat the game. I got the cheats. I did all of that shit and then I was just going on rampages every night just shooting up the city and I just, you know, I kind of just lost everything else in my life. I wasn't writing jokes and all that shit. So that was like 13 years ago. So I can't imagine how amazing the games are and like the virtue reality goggles and all of that shit. I can't even fucking imagine like how you get your kid to go in the backyard and just have a game of catch. Like to me that's the greatest fucking thing ever.

I think it's a great way to communicate with your kid. You know what I mean? Because it's like you're doing, it's another activity going on, so they're not really paying attention. You can praise them when they're doing well, build up their confidence, and then you just slide in. So how's it going at school? And then you just read them. Oh, it's going great. All right, so it's going good

If you see him kind of look down, you know, it's all right. What's the matter? What's going on? They can kind of open up to you. I think it's like a great way to I Think it's really important early on to be able to do that to have your kid be able to come to you if they have a fucking problem is a is a huge thing, but how you sit there with a glove and a ball and how that competes with putting on fucking reality glasses and you feel like you're going to fucking base jump off of a building or whatever the fuck they do. I don't know what the fuck they do with those things.

Yeah, that's a difficult one. I love Lincoln Logs. I didn't like Lego blocks. You stepped on them and you bare feet, they fucking hurt. Not the Lincoln Logs did, but like that plastic shit. I wasn't into that as much as the Lincoln Logs are cool. We used to fucking build those things. We'd build houses and then we would,

with that corgi car, corgi cars, whatever the fuck they called, drive them around. We'd have traffic jams and all of that type of shit. We had names for everybody that drove the cars. Remember, I had all the fucking race cars in all my... It's weird, they drove like a Formula One car to work and then they drove the trucks. I had trucks and racing cars. Then my other brother who's a total fucking gear head. He actually liked like the real looking cars,

like a Volkswagen bug or like a station wagon. Like he wanted to look like the cars that you could actually fucking drive. I know my mother didn't throw all of those out. Jesus Christ, it's fucking nuts. They're all up in the attic somewhere. All right, election. Bill, the election is right around the corner. A couple weeks ago, you eulogized the Great Barrier Reef.

Any last words for this election? Not the country as a whole, because I don't think it'll fall apart. But I imagine this has exposed the side of our country that we've been able to keep under wraps for a while, which is that no one ever pays attention to anything unless it's an easy talking point, that everything is more fucked up

than we know or would like to admit. What's the worst thing that will happen if either candidate wins? Well, if Trump wins, the worst thing is we're going to have to listen to all these European countries talk about how dumb Americans are, especially people in England. And I just want to say to them, like, you know what, what if you threw out the person every four to eight years? And I would love to see what the fuck you end up with.

You know what I mean? Some years it's just not a good draft. The fucking, what other fuck his name is Tony Blair that guy's been in there since Bush Not even saying that guy's good, but you just get somebody in there, and they just stay there until they die Doesn't he have like Margaret Thatcher's job? Oh the original Hillary Clinton Hillary Clinton can't even say her fucking name. What's the worst that will happen? I don't know, if Trump wasn't such a fucking jerk off, if he wasn't such a jerk off, it's really what the country needs. You need somebody who isn't a part of the fucking system.

You don't, but you just can't have a guy like that in there. And then Hillary is just going to be more of the fucking same. It's just going to keep driving this country towards ruin. Dude, none of them talked about the population problem. None of them talked about the nationwide heroin epidemic. None of them talked about genetically altered food. None of them talked about fucking global warming. Maybe they touched on it for a second.

They haven't said shit. They're not going to do anything. None of them going to try to stop the banks, put them in fucking line. They're building another real estate bubble. I'll tell you what's fucking hilarious out here is they are building up LA like I've never fucking seen They bought up the House of Blues right across the street from the fucking From the fucking Comedy store they play like 28 million dollars for the thing. They're gonna put these these high-rise fucking million Multi-million dollar fucking condos in there. It's like who the fuck's gonna afford to buy those things

All right, and this is the thing after 2008 after we saw what happened They fucking gave the house none of the bankers went to jail They gave him the houses back so they could do it all over again They're building another fucking bubble and I'm already calling it right now, by fucking 2021, 2022 or some shit, there is going to be a bunch of empty fucking condo, fucking high rises going along the sunset strip. And they have knocked down the Rainbow Room,

the Roxy, the Whiskey, House of Blues, maybe the Comedy Store. They're gonna wipe out all of these fucking things. There's going to be nobody in those buildings. And even if they are in those buildings, they're going to have no fucking place to go because they knocked down all the cool places to hang out on Sunset Strip. It's so fucking stupid. I was getting gas the other day, another place on the Sunset Strip, and this guy said, I

said, yeah, you own the gas station? He goes, I wish I did. This property just sold for 14 million bucks and you know they're knocking down the two buildings next to it and they're gonna put up a fucking you know 170 unit fucking I don't know I just don't know where all these people are gonna be coming that can afford to pay I just don't know where they're gonna come from and for what I heard you know at least the ones on La Cienega, that was like oil money. Like Saudi Arabian money came in and they don't give a fuck.

I mean, they got money forever. I don't know. What's the worst thing will happen if either candidate comes in is that they're not going to stop what's already going on. And I got to be honest with you, I don't even think like all the Bernie Sanders and all those types of people, you would literally need an army of those people and then they would need bulletproof vests to fucking... That's how powerful corporations are and that's how off the fucking rails we are.

I don't know, which is why I'm trying to focus on the propositions. And I wish if anybody can find a fucking website out there that not only lets me know what I'm voting for, but lets me know what is attached to it. Because who doesn't want to improve the schools? But whenever they have stuff like that, like, hey, let's clean clean up the drinking water Then they attach all this other evil shit underneath it I don't know I Don't know it's it's all very overwhelming so it's so fucking overwhelming that you're asking extend up comedian. What's gonna happen?

Or maybe you just did because you want to hear me make a fucking ass of myself All right here. We go guy, terrible in bed. Oh Jesus. All right. Uh, dear Billy Bush beer, uh, I'm a 20 year old female college student. Um, I go to Holy cross. Oh, in, oh, you is. I go to Holy Cross. Okay, I go to Holy Cross in Worcester. I had a boyfriend for the first three years of college and now I'm single.

I hooked up with a guy that I didn't know was kind of an asshole. He's sort of popular and seemed friendly. One drunken night I did the worst thing I could do, fed his ego. Had I known he was a moron in a pompous douchebag, I would not have done this. I'll save you the reasons why he's a douchebag, but just picture lame 80s preppy bully who thinks he's God's gift. Again, I didn't know this because I'd never paid attention to him. Well, after we hooked up, he told some people that I told him he was the best fuck I ever had. Uh, this found its way back to me and Bill, I was shocked. Why? Because he was the worst fuck I ever had. Uh, he had no idea what he was doing.

He was for lack of better words, not present, no rhythm and average at best. I wasn't mad at this because it was my choice to hook up with him, but now he's putting words in my mouth. I really just want to tell someone how bad he was and wait for it to get back around to him. What is my move here, Bill and or Nia? Well, wait a minute. Did you say he was? Wait. One drunken night I did the worst thing I could do. Feed his stupid ego. Does that mean that you slept with him? I can't tell if you

by feed his ego you you he was so bad you felt like you had to say something nice. No there's no fucking way you said there's no way you said he was so bad you felt like you had to say something nice. No, there's no fucking way you said, there's no way you said he was the best fuck. I think you're saying, yeah. Yeah, I think you're saying that you, you fed his ego by hooking up with him. Had I known he was a moron and a pompous dude, okay, so he's walking around saying that you said, and you're also saying he's putting words in your mouth.

So I'm assuming that you never said that. So fed his ego means that you fucking hooked up with him. That's what I'm guessing. I don't fucking know. Christ they speak in riddles. I wasn't mad at this because, well, oh, this is a tough one. I would call him up.

Then when he picked up, I'd be like, why are you walking around saying that I said you were the best fuck I ever had? I never said that. Okay? I never said that. Okay? And hear what he says. And you know something, there might be a thing, this is a thing. This fucking, a lot of these guys like this are tremendously insecure. Maybe he knows he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. So he's walking around saying that so he can feel better about himself because he feels that awful about himself. And he feels so fucking awful about himself

that not only does he gotta go that big, that the fucking way he feels about himself is such a big thing that he doesn't even think that that's gonna get back to you, or he doesn't even consider your fucking feelings. So, you can either be the biggest person and know that this person is tremendously insecure and walks around and probably doesn't like themself, which is a fucking horrible feeling to have, and just take peace with

that. Or you can call the guy out, which I kind of like. Okay? And at that point you gotta be, listen, if you were the best fuck I ever had, I would have said that to you. And just leave it at that, because you haven't told him that he's completely fucking inept, you know what I mean?

But you're also kind of putting the guy in check. And then you have your final option which is You can go around saying that he wasn't the best fuck I ever had He's fucking terrible in bed And then you know what happens is everybody just gets to sit back and enjoy watching you guys fucking do this shit I understand why you'd want to do it I Don't know I don't do the revenge thing.

I kind of go to the person that's doing whatever they're doing that's fucking annoying me, and I just kind of chop the head off there. And then if somebody comes up to me and says what they said, I would say... I would just say it impersonally. Yeah, that isn't true. I never said that. I don't know. I don't know what the fuck to do.

I'm sorry that this happened to you. At 20 years of age, it's probably hard to understand a lot of the shit that I'm saying of what that guy feels about himself. But you can't have somebody walking around saying shit like that about you. So I, I would, first thing I would do, I was confront the guy, call him up and be like, why are you saying that? I never said that. You know, and, uh, if you continue to say that and if he kind of goes around,

if you continue to say that you're leaving me in a position here that I have to tell them the truth. Okay? You're not the best fuck I ever had. All right? I don't know. It's just, I don't know. That's, that's a, you know, guys, if you listen to this thing and you're a young person, that's such a fucking asshole thing to do. All right? That's totally coming from your own goddamn insecurity. All right? And as an older, wiser fucking man, you know, I wish that somebody older told me that when you hook up with somebody, you keep your fucking mouth shut. You know what I mean?

You're quiet about it. You know? It happened. Who gives a fuck who knows? You know what I mean? It's an insecure fucking move. And just sit there and then she did this and then did that and she fucking did this.

That's a really fucking asshole thing to do. And women, if you hook up with a guy and he's fucking terrible or he's got a little dick and all that type of shit, right? If he's not out there talking shit for you to walk around fucking doing that too, that's another fucking asshole move It's an asshole move either way and in this case the guy's the asshole. So I Don't know, you know something if you can hang on until Thursday, I'll run it by Nia I'll have her on again, and I'll run it by Nia. I'll have her on again and I'll run it by her.

It's just that she's still sleeping here. So, anyways, all right. Let me, that's it for the questions. Let me read the last two advertisements here and then I got some pumpkin bread to make. All right, that is it. That is the podcast. Let's go Cubbies. I want to see a game seven.

And then, listen, I don't want to see a game seven. And then, um... Listen, I don't want to see either one of you guys lose. You know what I mean? You've both waited long enough. But, uh, I got to root for the Cubs in game six, because I want to see a game seven. Alright? That's it. I got my app. The NHL app is working for me now. I'll be watching Bruins games and that type of shit. And I'm going to try to watch that Formula One race.

Uh, for all you fucking gear heads out there. All right, go fuck yourselves. I'll check in on you on Thursday. What's up, everybody? And welcome back to the Anything Better podcast show NFL edition for week going into week number nine. Holy shit, we are flying by before we start the show.

Before we start the episode, before we start the episode, we gotta shout out our sponsor. It's the best sponsor out there. It's the best, most accurate sports book out there. It's Bet MGM, everybody. Bet MGM is offering 1,500 in free bets to get your season going. How do you get this offer?

Well, it's four easy steps. You download the Bet MGM Sportsbook app to your device. You use our code, the Anything Better code, it's BURR, B-U-R-R, couldn't be easier. You sign up and you deposit at least $10 into the BetMGM Sportsbook, place your first wager, and receive up to $1,500 back in bonus bets. If the bet loses, if the bet does lose,

your bonus bets will be available once your initial wager is settled. And don't forget, we got a cool first touchdown offer. Simply place a prop bet on the player you think is going to score the first touchdown in any NFL game. If they don't score the first touchdown in any NFL game, but in fact score the second, you'll get your stack back in cash. There you go. Bet responsibly. Have fun with it. Don't go nuts. And hey, follow our picks. We're starting to come back. Bill,

happy Halloween. Follow Paul Verzegh's picks. Happy Halloween. Bill, what are you dressing up as? What are you going as tonight? I'm going as a bald dad who doesn't know where his dreams went. I'm going as a guy who doesn't know how we ended up ever getting this busy in life. Oh dude, a bald dad is funny. That's fine. What do you have a bald dad? Oh, you're nailing it. You're crushing it, dude. I totally bought, I mean, that's what I thought you were when

I looked at you. Gray sweatshirt holding the kids hand. Wait, when did you get those clothes out of my closet? He's just, you know, hey, you know, Paul, you're right what you know. That's fucking great. Do you take the kids trick or treating? Are you one of those? Oh, 100%.

Yeah, yeah. I have turned down gigs that we're going to overlap. that Lucas is 15 and like I think he's going to a party like I don't even have that. It's like when do they stop trick-or-treating? You know Sophia's 12 she's going to a friend's house and Lucas is going to a party dude. It's going to be me watching the Jets. Oh my god. Dude what look I you can't blame any players on the Jets like that that That franchise is just a nept. I still don't get why they fired their head coach with nobody to replace them I know you're telling me nobody was better than that guy. Well, here's nobody. Here's the deal Rogers didn't like him That's why they did it That's why they did

Boy when the big dog doesn't like him, you know, what are you gonna do? But hey. They had a little tift. I know. You ride it out, you know? Absence makes the heart go fonder. You know, he stands on one end of the sideline,

the other guy stands on the other, and they meet in the middle. Hey man, I'm sorry, I didn't hug you on game four. That's all right, bro. Yeah, whatever happened to going to get a beer? You wanna run a sweep on this one? Nah, I was thinking of going up top. All right. Hey, whatever you want to do, go get a beer with a guy.

Take a guy to get some wings and talk. Just you two. Whatever happened to that? Can you go get a steak? I mean, I like to think it's still around at a different level. I would do that with you. Yeah, let's get a steak. Can we get a steak, Bill? I mean, we're making money to play a kid's game i mean what what

what is i mean that would make me want to hug somebody let's smoke a stick yes all right so mad right now but i'm so happy now but I'm so happy. I'm gonna buy another car this weekend. Crazy. Oh yeah. Whether it's complete or not this money is guaranteed. I just don't like I don't even I'm getting to the point of like why did the Jets still exist and also as a New York fan it's like you have the Giants walk across the street I believe the fucking stadium they sell reversible jet jackets like it just so they just turn into giant hits when you walk out of the stadium you You know what bugged me, what bugged me last night was right after the Yankees lost, congratulations to the Dodgers.

These Met fans were going, couldn't have been more a perfect day and they don't even have prospects. They're done. All is right in the world. And like, dude, some people that have like big podcasts saying that like rooting, going like this, ah, what a beautiful day. And it's almost like, dude, some people that have like big podcasts saying that, like Rudy, going like this, ah, what a beautiful day.

And it's almost like, dude, you guys like don't even fucking belong in the same sentence as it's like, what are we? And that right there, Paul, is why they love watching you lose. Yeah. You guys always remind them. Yeah.

That they are not the giants, that they are not the Dodgers. They are, they are the, that they're the not as hot second wife after the first one left here for the sunshine of the West Coast. You always remind them of that. Their colors are an amalgam of two teams that already existed. That's why they're the, yeah, they're the gumad. That's not as pretty, but she does filthier shit. Exactly. And it's just waiting for New York to break up with the Yankees and finally marry her

and it's just never gonna happen. Yeah, she's telling her friends, no, he told me, it's coming. She put a few pounds on, she's sliding into 50, she's going to the wine rack a little bit too much. Yeah. I don't know, dude. I would never, I'm really, I wouldn't. And I think, you know, dude, you know me as a friend, right? You think one minute after your team lost, I would ever go,

all is right in the world. It's almost like- No, yeah, you did that. You did that in fucking, when the undefeated Patriots lost to the Giants and you called me up And we fucking rammed it up there Exactly I was standing in Tom Papa's living room. I remember it. I was like god damn man insult to injury

Well, that was oh seven and I don't even know if we met each other yet. I was drunk. I was a different person It was a different decade. I Was a kid. Hey, how could these Mets fans do what I do? That's ridiculous. No, you've been good about it. I will tell you what was fucking bugging the shit out of me was in game three when you guys were down 0-3 and somebody in the broadcast booth goes, the Yankees are now trying to

do what has never been done. And I was like, what do you mean never been done? We did it to them. And I'm like, wait, is he gonna get by on a technicality that has never been done in the World Series? Yeah, I thought that was weird too. So you're not even gonna give us the tip of the cap? Cause in 140 years of baseball, it's only been done once

and it was done to the Yankees. So obviously you would bring that up. Dude, I gotta tell you, if it was the other way around, we never woulda heard the end of it, and fucking Dan Shaughnessy woulda wrote a book. Dan Shaughnessy is such a douche to the local sports teams, he literally should be writing for the New York Post.

I glanced at the New York Post this morning because I'm just fascinated with how mean they are, right? And the shit that they were fucking saying, like this team overachieved. Where they were in like July, to end up in the world, no one in July thought they were going to the World Series, and then they do, and they took their lumps, which is great, because then what happens?

Next year you come back, you know what it feels like to be fucking three games away. Yeah, I agree with that. I think a team needs to feel this pain and the Yankees weakness was sloppy ball and some dumb errors and like ultimately that all caught up with them in that fifth inning and it sucked. But listen, keep the team together and see what they could do and fight back. But, um, all right, Bill, let's get into

these picks. We got week eight right now. A lot of things are changing here. Let me look at these lines. I believe you went first the last two weeks, right? So now it's my turn. Is that right? I don't know. I don't know what happened. I didn't. I was trying. I was flying to Europe and flying back the last two Sundays. I don't even know what's going on. Um, I think. alright, so here we go, dude. I was confused about this Jets-Texans line, which is tonight's game, because it's a minus one and a half, but then I found out Stefan Diggs is out for the year for the Texans, and their other fucking guy is out, and...

Can we just get into the soap opera of the Jets here, Paul? What happens if they lose tonight to the Texans? Texans are terrible this year? Jets are two and... Jets... If the Jets are two and six, dude, if they lose tonight, it's over. No, it's already over. But like, like what happens? Oh, it was over three weeks ago. It was over when he when when the guy went for the hug and then it didn't happen. Yeah, you're right. It was fucking over. Are the New York Jets gonna lose to a wide receiver list Texans team tonight, is the question.

I mean, they lost to the Patriots last week. Patriots were good last week. Patriots played the Jets last week. Yeah. That's a funny thing to do in this point. Who did they play? Okay.

You're standing next to a fat chick. You're going to look all right. That was Rodney Dangerfield. Hey, Lou, be honest. Did you see the new spot? He goes, did I look at it? He goes, you could lose a

couple. He goes, I got to get bigger agnes. Yeah. People love when I gotta get bigger, Agnes. Yeah. People love when I stand next to them, Paul. I elevate their looks, especially with overhead lighting. So I'm gonna, Paul, I'm gonna get a softer light on me. Look at the shine on my forehead. Look at this.

Dude, you look great. Thanks, Paul. I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna flip my, I almost said flip my vote. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna flip my, I almost said flip my vote. I'm gonna flip. I'm gonna flip my pick and I'm gonna take the New York Jets tonight. Look, Aaron Rodgers, Devante Adams.

They have a win. They need a win. They have Garrett Wilson at wide receiver and the defense is good. And the Texans do not have Not only a number one receiver They don't have a number two receiver if the Jets were ever gonna win a game at home. It's tonight on Halloween I think the freaks come out at night. The costumes are gonna be out something spooky is gonna happen

I'm gonna flip my bet cuz I was gonna take the Texans, but then Jake the snake came in a game of the injury report I'm gonna take the New York J But then Jake the Snake came in and gave me the injury report. I'm going to take the New York Jets to win the game tonight. Hey, Bill, I always say, it's like a pick them. It's like a pick them. This is just a pick them. I got the Jets. Shout out to Jets fans that are still showing up.

Yes. It's literally like, I don't know what sort of dysfunctional family they grew up in. I feel like if your parents were two people that should have broke up but never did, you're tailor made to be a Jets fan. Cuz it's a toxic relationship. And the level of gear that they buy, the level of swag that Jets fans wear, you would think that they had like four or

five Super Bowls. Dude, how funny is it that there's going to be a guy dressed as Darth Vader tonight freezing in the parking lot drinking a beer? How funny is it that people still dress like Darth Vader? Like I said, are you mocking Halloween costumes? Oh, all right, Paul, I'm gonna go with the Ravens, lay a nine at home, because the Broncos had their big fucking week last week where they just destroyed the Panthers.

And I like the Ravens at home. I just think they got a great defense. And I don't know shit about the Broncos, but they can go fuck themselves this week. I'm taking the Ravens, minus nine, Lamar Jackson. And the Ravens are coming off that brutal loss to the Browns. I like it. That's a great pick.

Yes. It wasn't a fun time in that facility. My wife's texting me. Is the car at the house? No, I fucking dropped it off. I threw it in the ocean. Of course it's in the house. It's in the fucking... I went home with your car.

I'm not answering that text. At some point these people have to grow up. All right. I'm kidding. For my second. Because some fucking asshole is gonna clip that and send it to my wife. All right, here we go here.

Dude, I don't know, man. Packers Lions is the- Oh, wait a minute, I know what she's saying. I was wrong, hold on one second. That's hilarious. Come on, come on. How do I get out of this? Done.

All right, you picked that. All right, dude. Is Jameis Winston gonna do it two weeks in a row? Yeah, Jake, that's what we need. We need Jake real quick. Jake, what do we need to know? Jake the Snake, everybody, wearing his LA Dodgers shirt. Jake the Snake, laying in the grass.

There he is. Yeah, for, let's see, it's mostly quarterbacks, but it sounds like they're all gonna play play but the quarterbacks kind of monitor our golf Jordan love who got injured in the game last week and Lamar and Jane Daniels, they're all like limited in practice, but they're all supposed to play But they'll have like kind of minor injuries and then yeah, we talked about the X he's out for the year But other than that, you know, it's not too bad with the injury reports this week. Wait Jaden Daniels is playing or is not playing? He's playing but they already they said he's limited in practice you know so it's kind of just like keeping an eye on him but I think he

played last week so. And what's going on the Bengals? Bengals no injuries? T Higgins could be injured again because he missed last week and hasn't practiced yet And then the Cowboys are still a mess on defense with no Micah and digs and all those guys Are you listening to this kid? I mean he just he's like a mob lawyer. You're like leaning in What do I think you just giving you all the info? No, no, I I know man. This is a tough week I don't love these games. I'll be honest with you you. Oh we didn't even get Paul when three and one again. Hey you guys that watch this show layoff Paul in September Barry his bets in October and

you're going to win every year the man is Mr. October he just won on the hill Mary last week right here the command. Oh yeah yeah I did. That. How great was talk about a fan base that needed that. Oh man. Oh how great was, talk about a fan base that needed that.

Oh my God. I missed Tom Jackson though on that play. Cincinnati. I'm gonna take the Cincinnati Bengals laying a touchdown against the Raiders at home. I think this is where Joe Burrow and them fucking hit the gas and go on a little bit of a three four game run here.

I think they click. I'm going to take Cincinnati Bengals at home against the Raiders. I love all the Raiders. Minus seven, minus seven Paul Burzy. You got to love Joe Burrow and the men smoke cigars, right? A lot of points, but. Lot of points. I'm gonna, I'm gonna take the Saints, lay in seven and a half,

going in with the Panthers. I'm just mad that the Broncos destroyed the Panthers last week and the Panthers didn't show up for me. So I'm betting against the Broncos and against the Panthers. I'm being petty this week. Old petty Bill. Car should be back too. Got a box I'm being petty this week. Old petty bill. Uh car should be box of Tampax out here. I'm

going Saints. Mine is seven and a half. I just feel like they're they're always scoring a bunch of points. Paul, I'm in the DMZ two weeks in a row. The NFC South. What am I thinking? What am I thinking? Get out of there! Get out of there! It's like the Rockies. It's a different league, man!

I mean, who knows? Look at that line for the Chiefs and Buccaneers. I know. The Buccaneers are getting nine points. They score like 40 points a week all of a sudden. I know, dude. This is, and dude, Brown's Chargers is tough. But the Chiefs are allowed to hold.

Dude, Patriots Titans is tough. Dude, this week is wild. Um, I like that pick though. I like the Saints because Jake the Snake just said Derek Carr is back. So that's good. The Saints are gonna come marching in, Paul. Right into Charlotte. Oh, when the Saints go marching in. They're gonna burn the place down. All right. Dude, this is, I mean, I fucking hate this week. Let's do this. The Cowboys, this will be the kill shot for the Cowboys. I'm going to take the Atlanta Falcons lay in three. I'm going too many favorites here. This, this might not work, but, uh, lay in three,

um, against, you know, who's out for the Cowboys Parsons. Yeah. Well, we don't officially know, but he has, he's not practicing again. And he's been out for a while. He's probably been out for close to a month at this point. Should I flip my bet? I'm gonna flip it. Cowboy's have been terrible man. I'm gonna keep it. No I don't I you know what. Jake was just the swing state on that one man. Jake was just the swing state on that one, man.

Oh my God. Pauly, trust your instincts, it's still October. That's right. You turn into a pumpkin. You start as a pumpkin and then you turn into a prince. I have not had one losing weekend in October. This is the last day, so I want to hold it. I got to hold the line. You're hanging on too tight, Paul.

You got to go with your gut. You got to swing it out there. I'm going to go with the Falcons, man. Minus three at home. That was my original pick. And I just think that the Cowboys are bad. All right. I'm going to keep doing what I've been doing. I've been betting against the Patriots all year.

It's how I can watch them. Either win the bet or they win the game. They're on the road against the Titans. They're coming off a big win over a tough New York Jets team. They're getting three and a half. I don't like the half a point. I will tell you, I don't like the half a point. I'm sorry, they're going to Nashville.

The Titans, I don't know. Who the hell do they got? Who do they got? Alan Trammell, who the hell's their quarterback? I don't even know. I think it's. Alan Trammell played for the Tigers 40 years ago. Yeah, I don't give a fuck.

I'm gonna watch that game and Patriots will probably win, but I'm gonna take the Titans. All right, for my fourth and final pick I'm gonna take a dog and I am going to take I'm gonna take the Giants. I'm gonna take the Giants if Jaden Daniels is limited at practice we're getting four points we're at home is. I mean, the season's already not looking great, but I feel like if the Giants were ever going to get me a win, it's going to be

them getting four points against Washington at home with our defense. And we've been in every game. We really have been in every game, including the game against Pittsburgh last week in Pittsburgh on Monday night.

I'll take my Giants getting four against the commanders. Hopefully the quarterback is banged up enough. All right. And I'm gonna take the Packers at home plus three and a half against the Lions. I just I love Jordan love. I love lamp. I those games are always close. I think getting three and a half

lines might you know, win by two or something like that. I like that line. I like the Packers I like the line. I like the line. I like the line. I like the line. I like the line. I like the line. I like the line. I like the line. I like the line. I like the line. I like the line. I like the line. I like the line. I like the line.

I like the line. I like the line. I like the line. I like the line. I like the line. I like the line. I like the line. I like the line. I love the lot. I love the pack. Yeah, three and a half to the half point. Oh, you gotta like the Blue Division, dude. That's just a fun division. I like all of

those teams. The Bears, the Lions, the Lakers, the Braves. The Bears. Alright, Bill. Now, we have the Monday night special which is. Oh, we just missed it last week, Paul. By half a yard. Half a yard. Lamar Jackson acting like we haven't had his back his whole career.

He couldn't fly. He's got to die. That was two weeks ago. That was week seven. That was week seven. But then last week, you guys were saying, like, oh, hit it. But then somebody messaged. It was like, no, it was 51 and 1 half under.

He hit 52. This past week, I don't know if Bill, why you're a parasite. I don't know what you guys picked. We couldn't bring it up till now. Andrew, I thought for half a second you were decked out in jet-scare. It's got the self-destruction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Needed a little torture in my life. So this week we got the Buccaneers and Chiefs on Monday Night Football and the Chiefs are

laying nine. I mean that's... Baker Mayfield is the winner dude. I'm not saying they're gonna win this game but nine points. I'm sitting back let's watch the AI camera adjust to this. Let's see if it does. Let's see if it does. I'm sliding down. I fucking hate that thing that there's some fucking robot in there. Look at that. It's fucking wild. It's just a sense sensory.

Oh, thanks Paul. Thanks for explaining that. Computer background. Well, I don't want you to be scared that there's a robot living in your house. Dude, fucking everything. You want to hear something? I got a motorcycle recently, right, so the company wanted to like track me or whatever and do all of this shit and I'm like no I don't want to do that because they were gonna hook me up with it for a

few months if I gave him content and I was just like not I want you tracking me and that was that they refused to not do that so I just said fuck it I'll just buy it on my own so I buy it on my own and then they send me a vest that has like an airbag in it I'm like well that's really nice of them and then they send me a vest that has like an airbag in it and I'm like well that's really nice of them and then I look on the back like how to activate it like step one download the app these people they're all just sending you microchips it's like will you leave me alone I'm not spying on my own country like why are you treating me like a potential terrorist? I'm a fucking idiot. Who wants to go for a ride?

Leave me alone. That's great. That's great. I think we take the points. I think we take the points. I absolutely think we're going to. The Chiefs have been covering all year. I think they're due not to cover.

Baker Mayfield is just, I mean, that guy scores points. I mean, that's all I know. I don't know. I don't know anything else. I like. What are we doing with Mike Evans? Mike Evans and Chris Godwin are both out or no? Both out. Yeah. Both will be out. I hate betting against the Chiefs. I know. It's a lot of points. They already annoy me. And then when he fucking does this, where's the camera? Where's the camera? Where's the camera? Where's the camera there when he does that to huddle up and they zoom in on it? Yeah

After his guys are like look dude does anybody get held more than bosa on the 49ers no I mean that guy literally gets like Monday night like WWE Monday night rock like the level that that guy gets held Like every play he sleeps standing there like this is some guys like inside his jersey WWE Monday Night Rock, the level that that guy gets held. Like every play, he sleeps standing there like this, and some guy is inside his jersey. I was just gonna say the only thing they don't do is put a dildo in his ass. And then I realized that was just such an aggressive, no reason to- I don't know where that came from, Paul. There's no reason to even say that.

Hey, Halloween, Paul, you're tapping into another side of stuff. The only thing they don't do is open his mouth and stick their balls in. It's like, what? Dude, that's a hilarious sketch. The closet of married gay guy, and he's just talking sports, and he just keeps throwing in gay shit. Oh my God, they destroyed him last night. They won by like 25.

I know, it's crazy. Dude, they stuck their dick in there. What? last night they won by like 25 I know it's crazy dude they stuck their dick in there what we got appetizers what's he gonna do next spread his legs and suck his dissing what plumber all over his cock everybody just looks down at the food. When is he gonna come out? You know what, Paul, you've always been a little too into fashion. If you ever came out, I would be surprised. But then when I go, he does have a lot of sneakers that match his hats. He wasn't afraid to get a manicure. I mean, they I mean right there. I mean, you're right there. I mean, right there. All right. So let's go Baker Mayfield. I got a pedicure, not a manicure.

Dude, that's hilarious, dude. They got Deandre Hopkins too, dude. Oh, yeah. Oh, Baker Mayfield is just gonna nut on their faces. I'm sorry. Let me let me rephrase that. I mean, I mean that the way. What? Who said that? Baker Mayfield. I'll tell you who's going to take it in the ass this week. It's the Raiders. Have they ever had that character in the movie? You got to have like the dude like. the now put on my helmet, put on my jersey, put on the helmet. He's got her dressed up like his life. That is so funny.

Dude, how do I tell this story? I knew this person early in my career. And it was just like, the dude was just fully out of the closet, was like married with kids. And he would just show up just like, oh god, my wife last night. Oh God, my wife last night. Dude. And you just sitting there like,

how does she not know? How does she not know? She knows. Honey, I'm gonna go shopping. You wanna watch the game? No, I'll go with you. Did he make a lot of money? Was he killing it?

I'm not giving any more details than that. I just remember my neck hurts from like fucking looking away and looking down. It was just, everything was talking was cool until he brought up his family. I just remember one time, like he invited, you know, me and my manager over to the cookout. And I was just like, dude, I can't see that lie up close.

I just made up an insult. I just said I had a kid. I can't be living can't see that lie up close. I just made up, I just said I had a good. I can't be living in this guy's lie. I can't be a character in this fucking lie. Yeah, it's just like, no, and then the whole thing was just sad. It's like, you know, just go be who you are, man. All right, we're gonna take the Buccaneers,

get in nine. the Buccaneers get in nine. I'll tell you who's gonna get shit on their chest. It's the fucking Vikings. That's the sketch. You find out what somebody's fetish is by the way they talk about their teams. I'll tell you who's gonna be sucking on their toes. Oh shit. All right, dude. Oh my god, dude. You see that place? Oh, he's stuck his paint right in his fucking beard. All right, let's get off this here. Broncos. It's so childish and it's just a never ending beard. All right, let's get off this here. Broncos.

It's so childish and it's just a never-ending bit. And I got this. This asshole's gonna be bleeding after that hit. All right. Jesus, you went hard. We didn't want to close it.

All right, that closed it. All right. Oh, fuck. All right. Let's take the points. I don't know anybody. I don't know anybody on the Buccaneers. You know, maybe they got. What do they got?

Is Ricky Bell still running for them? That's still over there. Warren Sapp. Who is it? Another great running back one day. They ran him like 50 times a game. Warren Dunn. Le Garouplon. No, no had another great running back one day. They ran him like 50 times a game. Gwarr D'un. Legare Blond. No, no, it was before him. This is like the 80s, 90s when they had the giant shoulder pads.

They had Ricky Bell, Doug Williams, the Salmon, Dewey and Leroy Salmon, J.K. McKay or something was their coach. That was a fun thing. Come on. We've got to wrap this up. All right. So who do we got here? We got Baker Mayfield. No, we got we're going to take the Buccaneers getting nine. Travis Kelsey just got a first one of his only touchdowns of the year last week. I wonder if that keeps rolling into Monday night.

I mean, how long can you shut that guy down for? Let's do that then. Let's do Kelsey to, let's do, let's take the points. Let's do Mahomes to throw one, Kelsey to catch one, but we take the points. You think Kelsey has an injury or something? Other than people blaming Taylor Swift, you know, I'm sure it's not that. It's gotta be... People always blame the relationship. Yoko Ono has just, anybody in the public eye,

the second you have a bad show, they just blame the wife. Have it with Jessica Simpson and Romo. Yeah. That was a big one. I know. And did the cowboy fan base ever apologize to her? No. It'd be like, ah, you know what?

It was actually Tony. Yeah, Tony just wasn't good. Yeah. No, I don't know. Tony Romo had like nine quarterback coaches in eight seasons, so I mean. The Cowboys are like, they're like the Jets of the NFC. But they've won, I don't know, I don't know.

I don't wanna get into this. All right. Paul, I got nothing. I'm a housewife've won I don't know I don't I don't get into this all right well I got nothing I'm a housewife here I don't know who plays for the Buccaneers but- I would say a wait is is. Is what the hell's

his name. Dr Fernie Pacheco is he coming back for running back no yeah no. Yeah. No. He's not bashing. Yeah. He's like, well, I'll go. Let's do the nine points. Let's do Mahomes to throw one and you want to do Baker to throw one

both quarterbacks to throw one and we take the points. So no Kelsey. No Kelsey. Yeah. No Kelsey. Let's **** get a win here for everybody. Let's go each quarter, each quarterback throws one and we take the nine points. Okay, there's no numbers right now for Mayfield, Baker, but that'll be, I'm sure that'll be up later.

Okay. Well, that's a very conservative bet. I like it. Yeah, you know what? Let's get back on a winning track. There you go, guys. Those are our picks for the Anything Better going into week number nine. Thank you guys so much. Oh, I want to thank

everybody who listens to the Anything Better podcast, who watched my special reasonable man, which is getting rave reviews and the first write up about it. We just had a write up about it saying, I am at my very best. So all I ask is you watch it, you share it, show people it right. And I hope you enjoy it as much as everybody else has reasonable man streaming right now on my YouTube channel. For all my hearing a great buzz from other comedians about it.

Well, I appreciate that. Thank you. I'll tell you what I really did. I really fucked him in this one. No, I'm kidding. I gave him a wallop with it. No. For all lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't time trick-or-treating with your kids tonight. I will. I will. You know, then I'm in the pressure cooker for a week. It'll be fun, though.

Yeah. It'll be fun. It'll be fun to finally do the show with the crowd. The first time I did it was the pandemic. I had to come out wearing a mask. It was hilarious. It was like nobody there. But I did have to walk by the band, I guess. I don't know. First weekend after the election too.

Yeah, I know. So I'm kind of like trying to put together the monologue. I'm like swinging in the dark here because I don't know who's gonna win. Well, you just have both. You'll be fine, dude. You're gonna crush it. It's you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's, it'll be, no, I'm, you know, you know what it is. It's like the gig you want and then you get it and then it's just like, fuck, I gotta do this. So, but I had a great time the last time I did it and, you know, I'm just gonna have fun, just be silly and the key is you just don't put pressure on yourself to, you know, I have to, you know, blah, blah, blah. I don't, I don't. I just need to go there and have a good time. So that's what I got going on. And then later on this month, I have this tour that starts in Ojai and then we go up the 99 starting in Bakersfield ending

in Fresno. We got all these places. We ended in Stockton, which I've never been to. One of my favorite films, Fat City, was shot there. And then the Diaz brothers from the UFC, I believe, are from there. So I always wanted to, there was just something that's interesting to me about that that city you

know what I mean just I drove through there it's really cool you'd like it's like the typo old town you know it's got some old streets and yeah I'm kind of yeah it's awesome really excited about doing that and then also I like doing a tour around the holidays where I'm still in my home state is yeah it's a good time. It's great. All right that's awesome guys yeah check out my dates uh oh this weekend I'll be down in state is a good time. You'll love it, man. That's great. All right. That's awesome, guys.

Yeah. Check out my dates. Oh, this weekend I'll be down in Jersey. Check out paulversey.com. We got Providence, Rhode Island coming up at the end of November. Enjoy your football week. Bet responsibly, guys. All you got to do to get these, to bet with us, go to the Bet MGM, download the Bet MGM

app to your device, use our code, Burr, B-U-R-R, and put as little as $10 in the deposit and you'll get $1,500 in bonus bets. If your bet loses, you'll get the bet back, right? You'll get your money back on the first one, Andrew, is that right? Yeah, and you get your money back if it hits the second, if you don't win. Yep, and you got the first touchdown, whoever whoever you pick to get the first touchdown of any

NFL game if they don't but they do it second you get your cash back there too. So enjoy bet responsibly have a great week go. Go Jets and Giants. Go next Paul your next to playing gunny your next to playing good man. All right everybody that's it we'll talk to you guys next week. So I travel a lot, I mean a lot, perhaps too much to some of you, but that's kind of my gig, right? So I'm out there, I'm living out of suitcases, or suitcase sometimes if I bring the big boy, and I want all the comforts of home. That's why I stay at an Airbnb whenever possible.

Recently I had some gigs in Fort Collins, Colorado, and I was with my friends and we were shooting some stuff, and before we got to the gigs, we were like, let's just get an Airbnb. And it is just a more comforting existence. You have a kitchen, you have a yard, it's communal living, it's just a less stressful place, more enjoyable experience. So when I go on tour, like I'll be going on tour

in a couple months, I always am like, well, could my place be an Airbnb know just to have someone watching your place while you're gone and make a little bit of money and the answer to that is yes yes it can be an Airbnb it's really just as simple as listing your place and letting it earn a little extra cash while you're away so imagine someone's thing at your home in Los Angeles while you're out there exploring the world turn your home into an Airbnb. Give it a shot.

You might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca.