Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-30-17

Episode Date: December 1, 2017

Bill rambles about Christmas shopping, nodding off on heroin and Elisha Manning.

Warm things up this spring with a trip to Cerrillas, where romance finds fantasy. While flowers are blooming outside, bring them inside with a hugely popular rose toy from NS Noveltees. Described as small but mighty, the rose is 25% off this month at Cerrillas along with all NS Noveltees. Afterwards slip into something as sexy as you're feeling with a huge selection of lingerie in petite to plus size. Shop Cerrillas in Indianapolis with six area locations and in Anderson. Or shop online anytime at Cerrillas.com. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. And I'm just checking in on you.

I'm just checking in on you, doodah, doodah. Hey, guess what? What? I am fucking on it this year when it comes to Christmas. Hey, Christmas, go fuck yourself. That's what I'm saying. I'm talking all kinds of shit. I'm backing up.

I'm wagging my fucking head at you, Christmas. I'm sorry. I'm just excited. I got all my shit wrapped and I shipped it out today. Fuck you. Over. Over. That's it.

All you need to do is get a pair of Jordans, right? Whatever the fuck Verzi says and then that's it. It's over. The greatest fucking feeling ever. This holiday is like, you know, when you become an adult, it's dreadful. It's like, ah, fuck, man, I got, you know, I got to bring the kid over here. I got to fucking get this person something. Oh Jesus, what do I got to get this guy a calendar or something?

I got to show, I got to show him how much I care about his stories that have no fucking point. You know, got to at least get him a stocking stuff for how many minutes of my life did he waste this year? Just the, the, the fucking stress of that. I got to tell you something, buying the things and wrapping them, slapping the name on them. And then once you mail that fucking thing, it's like a high. You ever hear like runners talk about like runners high? You know, which is hilarious because if you look at the look on their face when they're running, it does not look like they're enjoying themselves. Every person I've ever seen jogging down the street like not everyone, but most of them, they look like they should have quit like two miles ago.

They're leaning to one side. They kind of got that fucking stroke mouth going, you know, the fucking one. It's like, too, just enough already. Enough. We get it. We get it. We get it. You're, you're, you're, you're a fitness fucking guru. Slow down, walk, go to that taco stand. All right. Get yourself a fucking taco or something. All right. Just relax. Who do you hate more? Joggers or bike riders? Neither. I like everybody on the profit and force that balances out your life. Get the hell out of my office. Hey, you crushed on the podcast. Let's see if you got another one in you. Don't hit me.

I gotta go. I gotta go to the gym. Bye. You go to the gym. What for? Are you all Hollywood? You're trying to get your abs going for 2018? Yeah. Huh? Beefcake. Beefcake. All right. Bye. Oh, Jesus. The anticlimactic. Then you got to come back. Come on. Give me a kiss. Goodbye. Give me a kiss. Goodbye. Actually, you know what? Give it to me when I come, when you come home. All right.

I'll see. Asshole. Gross. Oh, I got all the tags, Nia, for the gifts and stuff. Yeah. And I try to make your Nia. When I said from Uncle Bill and Auntie Nia, I tried to make your Nia. When I said from Uncle Bill and Auntie Nia, I tried to make it look like your handwriting, but it clearly looks like mine. Plus I'm left-handed, so it's smudged across. And I forgot to sign your name to the card. The one that said how much we care about him. It's the second time I've done that. You are the worst.

There's going to be a lot of hostile. I didn't do that to you. Nia, I'm kidding. Come back, please. The fucking shit that women are into is just, you know, it's, she got a card inside my name to what about you? All right. I mean, how could you do that? Everybody's getting thick. I don't care. No, they're not. They have lives. Anyways, I got the shit fucking wrapped. I got, I got like one more thing to get my laugh and have all of that fucking wrapped. All right. And I just see, here you go. All right. Here you go. Leave me alone. And then I'm going to, I got to like eloquently come off the wagon. I'm still on the wagon. I got 15 weeks in. All right. I'm already a 30 the year in 26 weeks is half a year, but that takes me into February and I'm going to the Rose Bowl.

So that's the next tough one. That's the next hurdle I have to get past is if I can somehow go to the Rose Bowl and not get all fucked up, which I've done before. I've done it. I think I've done a couple of times. I've done the Rose Bowl sober. I don't know what, but I'm actually, I was thinking the other night, like when I come back to drinking. All right. When we rekindle our relationship, you know, like you ever see, there was a particular person out here in Hollywood had an abusive relationship. This guy was beating the shit out of her and stuff. And then she went back to him, you know, being like, no, he fixed it this time. And I remember the talk show hosts were like going, like, are you sure you know what you're doing? This is me going back to booze with my little barbed wire tattoo. I think I'm just going to go straight to heroin. Like I for some reason feel like I can handle it at my age, you know, because I know how stupid it is to do.

I would just do it like one time and just be sitting there like right in the living room to just don't don't have the shame that most junkies have. You just sit down with your family and just say, listen, this is something that I want to try. I'm just going to do it once. And I would appreciate it if you guys would hang out during my entire high and make sure that I don't tip over and bust my head open on the coffee table. Even though we have the kidproof things around it. Actually, a lot of that kidproof shit becomes junkie proof after a while, you know. I'm kidding. I'm not making light of the nationwide heroin epidemic, but we all know that the nationwide heroin epidemic is not the biggest story in the country right now. That's not the biggest story. It's not that they've poisoned our food supply, fellow Americans. It's not that. It's not that after all the protests, they're still going to put that fucking pipeline in. It's not that. What is the biggest story? Huh? Matt Lauer buying a fucking dildo for the stand in weather person. It's not that.

Having a president who's out of his fuck. No, it's not that. The biggest story in the United States of America right now is Eli Manning is being sat on Sunday and his 210 game streak is coming to a close in all of New York. Shut down. They couldn't believe that Alicia Manning. I didn't know his name was Alicia. I have never seen such a fucking ridiculous reaction while ignoring real fucking problems. There's like 30,000 fucking tornadoes or whatever the fuck we had, hurricanes. Hey, fuck all that. Miami's give me on the water. Like the fucking texts that I got from New York sports fans, my friends, like the level that they were having a fucking meltdown, you know. Fuck the rope a dope that's going on in the Middle East right now where you got a fucking band of fucking 3500 nitwits bankrupting a billion dollar companies.

They got a bag of rocks and we're flying F 18s at them blowing all our cash. Fuck all of that. Eli Manning is being sat on Sunday. I got a buddy money flipped out so bad. He's actually betting against the Giants. It's like, dude, if Gino sucks, which I don't think he's going to, no one knows how good Gino Smith is. He played on the jets. No one knows how good anybody is when they play for the jets to the jets. Sorry, everybody out in Queens, but you know, there's an element of truth to that. Okay, the Patriots used to be like that. All right, so there is hope for you guys. God knows Bill Belichick is 70 years old and we all saw Tom Brady try to recover that bad snap last week, right? You saw when he was running after that thing, he looked his age.

He looked like a guy who forgot to set his parking brake and was hobbling after his fucking car and then realized like, I'm not going to break my leg. I don't fuck it. I got insurance on this car and just flopped on the ground. If Gino Smith shits the bed, Eli is going to be back in the second quarter. All right. And by the way, this happens to every quarterback, no matter how good they were, no matter how good of a class act they were, this happens to everybody. What the fuck happened to Peyton Manning? After all those years of standing there with at least 19 inches of his 42 inch neck exposed between his helmet and his shoulder pads, it finally fucking gave out. And what did that fucking guy, Jim Ursay, the fucking national inquirer of fucking sports owners, he turned his fucking back on him. Okay. And Peyton Manning, he went to fucking Eastern Europe. He went to Transylvania, right?

And he got fucking child's blood pumped into his fucking, whatever the hell, virgin blood pumped into his fucking neck. And he comes back to Jim Ursay and says, I'm fucking ready to play, right? Whatever the fuck he talks. Why don't you put me in this week, whatever the fuck he said to him, you know, probably made more money doing that. And I had a blood washer, right? What did Jim Ursay say? He said, Peyton, with all due respect, fuck you and your fucking three feet of neck. We're moving on. We're tanking the rest of this season so we can get Andrew Luck. That's what the fuck happened. Look what happened to Brett Favre, right? He fucking, he actually had to go to the Jets.

Eli Manning, all these guys with his quiver and bottom lip, all he's got to do is sit on the fucking bench for a couple of plays. That's it. That's all you got to do. Everybody losing their fucking minds. How could they do this? How could they do the exact same fucking thing that they've done to everybody? You don't remember the end of Derek Jeter's career? When all those sports writers were fucking bitching about him saying he's costing the team, he's too fucking old, should they move him over to first base? This happens to everybody, you know? You don't think they're talking about me right now? The way I'm fucking looking these days? I have like three friends of mine that are, I love them. They're the biggest New York fans ever.

And I got like fucking phone book-level texts about what was going on. You think it's going to end pretty with Tom Brady? This guy wants to play till he's like 60. At some point, oh, fucking Bob Kraft is going to have to sit down and be like, Tom, you're too old. I mean, look at you. You still have a Beatlemania haircut. What fucking year did you come in the league? You got a fucking Mo Howard haircut with the fucking part. I mean, I don't even know what to tell you. Fucking Bill Clinton was still president when you came in. I don't know what to tell you. This happens to everybody. Yeah, it's obviously a shame. Eli's fucking great. I got to tell you, it sucks as a Patriots fan watching the Giants just fucking dismantle and I wanted one more crack at him.

We had nothing to lose. You already kicked our ass fucking twice. We'll come back like Tex Cobb for a third one. And I was loving, and there would always be an asterisk, even if the Giants made the Super Bowl and even if the Patriots made the Super Bowl this year. They came back without Tom Coughlin and we won that one. That still wouldn't be the same. That's the level of respect that I have for fucking the Giants organization, Tom Coughlin and Eli Alicia Manning. I'm just breaking your balls, New York fans. I know it sucks. You know what it really is? All you guys flipping out and you're acting like you love Eli Manning. What you really are is you're a bunch of selfish cunts because watching Eli gets benched is just reminding you of how fucking old you're getting and now we're all going to die. It reminds you of your own mortality.

So rather than deal with that, you call in sports shows, losing your fucking voice. You know, and meanwhile we're fucking blowing a billion dollars a month fighting people who have slingshots in a bag of dynamite. I swear to God, if I was running, this is how I would handle ISIS. Whoever those fucking gamers are that actually got to play on the giant TV screen in Dallas Cowboys Stadium, if you're good enough to do those guys who had those drone races in that stadium, that would be my defense against ISIS, some intelligence and then I have those fuckers sitting in Cowboys Stadium when the Cowboys didn't have a game and I just have them flying around, you know, blowing up their jungle gyms. I mean, that's how I would handle it, okay?

And considering I haven't even fiscally researched this on any level, I haven't talked to anybody who's even remotely informed about what's going on over there. The fact that I did this in my own self-contained think tank, I cannot even begin to describe to you how much this makes sense to me. You know, come on, dude, you don't sit by yourself sometimes and just start solving all the world's problems. You start walking around your house, whispering, pretending you're getting interviewed by Oprah. Come on, we all do this, don't we? Oprah's sitting across from you.

Do you consider yourself a hero? Is you're sitting there muttering to yourself and then somehow you come into your fucking present, and you're just sitting there scrubbing like a fucking old rice check off a bowl? And you have that split second of just really stepping outside of yourself and being like, well, I'm really, I'm a fucking crazy person. And then all of a sudden the front door opens and your family walks in and you go right back into character and they have no idea because you're standing there with this phony smile and wearing a sweater.

I'm sorry. Anyways, happy trails, Matt Lauer. You know, you did a hell of a job waking everybody up for the last 20 years. And you got a little sideways. How do you buy a sex toy for somebody you work with and then write a letter? I mean, Jesus, why don't you just walk around with a fucking neon sign around your goddamn neck? I swear to God, did these people get this successful and they just like want to sabotage their own fucking career?

Although maybe he's just like old school. He came in, he came in the league when that was, I don't know, when you could do that. Because you got to think when he first started buying like fucking shit like that. If it was the late 90s, when you think about the cell phone technology, texting didn't even exist, there was none of that shit. There was no Facebook, there was nothing. I mean, what could that poor woman do? Run off a bunch of copies, put them on telephone poles.

It just, you know, and then you just have an assistant run out and tear them down. Matt Lauer screaming from the window, I said tear them down, right? I don't know. I don't know. Anyways, I'm going to be in New Mexico, in Albuquerque, New Mexico, Southwest part of the state. He's part of the country and I'm going to be in Arizona this weekend. Come on down.

I'm going to be at the Route 66 casino. Where the fuck am I going to be in Arizona? I like Arizona, dude, dude, because it's only an hour away on a Southwest flight. Again, on the fucking plane. I listen to the stupid jokes. Then they say, we're beginning our initial descent. Please raise all your tray tables in your seats, please. How come this fucking thing isn't loading?

Why is my signal so weak? Jesus Christ, well, we'll get back to this. By the way, by the way, thank you for everybody who's buying tickets to the Patricio Neal Comedy Special. Comedy Benefits, sorry, I'll be promoting this right up until February, Tuesday, February 20th, 2018, 7 p.m. at the city center in New York City, the sixth annual Patricio Neal Comedy Benefit Benefit Benefit. And we keep adding more people. All right, we just added the great Jim Norton. Jamie Norton, Brendan Burns, Pete Corrielli, Jonah Rosa, Sam Jay, Robert Kelly, Jessica Kersen,

Cypher Sounds and Rich Voss and myself will be there honoring the memory of the best stand-up comedian I ever saw live. All right, and where am I going to be in Arizona? I'm going to be at the Desert Diamond Casino. I'm just a fucking dirtbag this week, aren't I? Route 66 Casino in the Desert Diamond Casino in Saharita, Arizona. This is the degenerator. And then on December 10th, I just added this date. I'm going to be at the Allington Theater in Santa Barbara, California.

All right, Santa Barbara, speaking of Oprah Winfrey, one of her giant houses is up there. Maybe she'll show up to the show. I'm going to be up there. And then December 14th, I'll be at the Hard Rock Live in Hollywood, Florida and December 16th, Bob Carr Theater in Orlando, Florida. And on the 15th, I'm going to the Magic. I got to get some tickets for that, by the way. I got to figure out what the fuck I'm doing over there. Anyway, should I read some advertising here?

What else did I want? My ribs are feeling better in case you were asking, in case you were wondering. I got masseused and trying to lay off the drums. I'm trying. Did I mention that I'm building a drum room finally in my house? I've had it. I've had it with having to drive to go to my fucking drums. Just having a kid now.

You got to wait till they take a nap and then you run out there. And for fucking 20 minutes to an hour and six minutes, you play fucking drums with the little kid monitor there, right? So you can see when she gets up. Then they go back in. That's how I'm going to do it. That's my game plan. You know what it actually did? I have almost every modern drummer from the 1980s.

And I was looking at him the other day. And I saw that old Steve Jordan one that they did in like 86 or 85 where Dave Garibaldi broke down his ghost notes and all that shit for messing with the kid. I got to get that down. I got to learn that shit. That's that's my next fucking goal. All right. My goal is to become a better person. My goal is to recreate what was already created and then hope that somebody notices and is impressed by me.

All right. Let's read. We got four reads here today. Can you guys hang in here and listen to me read out loud for the next few minutes? Okay. If you think the bullshit I was saying was remotely amusing, this part will be hilarious where I expose really my level of intellect. Warm things up this spring with a trip to Sarila's where romance finds fantasy. While flowers are blooming outside, bring them inside with a hugely popular rose toy from NS Novelties.

Described as small but mighty, the rose is 25% off this month at Sarila's along with all NS Novelties. Afterwards slip into something as sexy as you're feeling with a huge selection of lingerie in petite to plus size. Shop Sarila's in Indianapolis with six area locations and in Anderson or shop online anytime at Sarila's dot com. Right. Tipsy elves, everybody. Everyone needs an ugly Christmas sweater this time of year. If you want bragging rights for the most talked about sweater at your Christmas parties, listen up. Talk about your tipsy elves sweater and other products you saw on the website.

I've yet to go on it. I don't know anything about these. I know that hipsters love this shit. Hipsters, here we go. Tipsy elves has hundreds of Christmas sweater designs that are like nothing you've seen before. This is where they show my, I show my age. I don't think Christmas sweaters are ugly. I think they're very festive.

It's like wearing an oriental rug that has like snowmen on it. They're not for the faint of heart. Be the life of the party with hilariously irreverent designs. All right. Let me look this shit up. Let's see what fucking tipsy elves is bringing to the table here. All right. They're saying they're fucking hilarious.

I said they're saying I'm remotely amusing. And these cunts have the balls to come on and start talking all this shit. You know, like they just put out a Chris Rock level fucking special. All right. Tipsy elves dot com. All right. Let's see what they got here. Let's see how.

Jesus. Okay. All right. These guys are definitely bringing it. What the fuck? Oh my God. They got an Obama one that says miss me yet on the back. They should have all his drone attack with a list of all the people who weren't terrorists.

Can we fucking be balanced in this country? Jesus fucking Christ. I don't understand this hero worship of that guy. I really don't. What did he do? You know what the best thing about Obama was he could deliver a fucking speech, you know, and I don't even know how good he was considering he was in between Bush and fucking Trump. So that's really like, you know, that's really set in the bar like low.

Yeah. Yeah. Fool me once. Yeah. You're not going to fool me again. I mean, how do you not follow that? And then I don't know what this other guy's doing. Donald Trump is so fucking bad.

He I actually had this thought the other day. Well, thank God Mike Pence is in there. Okay. I got to give it up to these guys. Tipsy elves. Yeah. I'm a fucking sweater. These guys are definitely, uh, they're definitely crushing it.

I like this suit though. I got to be honest with you. I am actually digging the suit. Um, anyways, while you're shopping for your ugly sweater, check out their holiday attire for yourself or as a gift like adult onesies. Oh boy. Oh boy. Isn't that, isn't this, this is a weird time to sell adult onesies.

Huh. Is there a picture of the latest guy who got fucking ousted out of his career for buying sex toys? They've even sell wild and crazy ski suits for your, you skiers out there for men, three piece Christmas suits. I thumbs up to those interactive sweaters. Are they concentrally interactive? Uh, beer pong cornhole.

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Oh, how did I fucking pick douche? I've been bombing lately on this song. Why do I keep doing? I got to pick up easier word to rhyme with. I've just been off my game lately, you know, me on these me on these. Isis is on a jungle gym. Me on these me on these. We could beat him with a slim gym.

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I think that's like 28 minutes. Um, yeah, I'm going to try, you know something. I'm going to try to get out and do some stand up tonight. I think I'm going to do that because I got some gigs the next couple of nights. Right. Go out there, shake the fucking dust off. I've been in the edit room almost every night of this week. Okay.

Only two nights, but it felt like every night with my ADD. Um, we are currently editing season three of f is for family. Um, I don't know when it's going to be. It's going to be out later on next year. Uh, that's how it works. Animation. It's a very slow process, but, um, I'm really loving how this season is coming together. And I'm hoping you guys are too.

And if you don't, then I guess we won't get a season four. And if we don't get a season four, I will be sad, but I'll also have a lot of free time. So it's one of those deals. So who knows who knows what happens. Or maybe I'll just take the show and just start fucking putting it up on my website. Maybe I'll do something like that. I would be stupid building. You have to finance it yourself and you go bankrupt.

Just fucking watch season three so I can stay with my cushy deal at Netflix. Can you do that for me? If not, can you go to the Patrice O'Neill comedy benefit? Um, I'll be announcing more special guests as we go. We might have a surprise guest that night. We're reaching out to some people. We'll see what happens. Um, it's always a great night.

We always tell Patrice stories. We give each other shit. And it's obviously for a great cause. Okay. That's it. Please enjoy the music as we transition into a, an old school Thursday afternoon, just before Friday, Monday, morning podcasts from a Thursday from, I don't know, years gone by or possibly earlier this year. I have no idea.

That's it. Have a wonderful weekend. Um, your cunts and I will, I will talk to you on Monday. I'll be breaking each other's hearts. Cause each other pain. I'll be taking each other's love. Without thinking anymore. Getting to get back.

Listening to pity. How's this YouTube video? Yeah, thank you, Bill. There we go. Bill Barr was telling us that he found a fine video clip called best, best wrestling promo ever starring this guy, jumping Jeff Farmer. I'm judging, I'm guessing that it's, it's from like the eighties. And this is before Vince McMahon.

So everything up. So it's an independent wrestling thing. I don't know. I don't know where at, but this guy is legit. So basically what it is, is this guy jumping Jeff Farmer. He's going to promote Jeff Farmer jumping Jeff Farmer. He's going to promote his big wrestling match coming up on the Saturday. He's going to do the Ric Flair thing.

Let me tell you something. He's supposed to be doing that shit. And he might have a little bit of a tough time. We've all been spoiled by the professional-ness of the wrestlers and how they're able to rock the mic and really get on there and ad-lib and talk. And this guy apparently doesn't have the skills. He's still in the development phase. I'm not going to judge his entire career.

We got Sam in here. He's a wrestling expert. Sam is an expert. He's an expert, I mean. Sam, we'll really come running down the hall with those floppy feet. You know, we've got to promote Kevin Smith's call on the show today, too. Oh, yeah. The show just keeps getting better and better.

Oh, my God. He tweeted a while ago that he's sleeping on his phone right now. So they wake him up for the interview today. So Kevin Smith in about 15, 20 minutes. All right, let's check this out. Best wrestling promo ever. Earlier we talked to Jumping Jeff Farmer. Let's go now to that interview.

Folks, there's Jumping Jeff Farmer. Jeff, a while back. What a match you had with Motley. Yep. Probably the hardest match I've ever had in my life. I didn't pause. When things aren't going my way. Motley Cruz, you turned the tables on me.

You turned the tables in a wrong way. You got me mad now. I stood around. I've listened to everything you had to say. I've did everything necessary. But when you turn around and you backstab me one way or another, and you keep me out of what's rightfully mine, that's when I get angry.

Now, I'm the one doing the challenging. I'm issuing a challenge to you, Motley Cruz. Get in the ring with me. This time, I'm going full force. Jumping Jeff Farmer. Jumping Jeff. That guy is the worst. That is the worst intro ever.

You got your ass kicked last week. Yep. Yep. Motley Cruz. Full force. I didn't want the panic on his face. He looks like he's going to piss himself. That's when I was supposed to go on with this shit.

He looks like he's going to piss himself. What man? Someone's saying he played the fake sting at one point. Is that true, Sam? Really? Does he look familiar? I don't think so. He never had a career in wrestling, really?

Someone was trying to say he's in the wrestling hall of fame. The W, whatever that is. I'm the WWE hall of fame. Well, he's in the IPW. Don't fucking get Sam started. He'll school you on this shit. Sam, I thought you knew everybody. Did we find a wrestler you don't know?

I feel it around. I've listened to every... You know that guy? No. You don't know that guy? What are you doing? You had to say, I did everything necessary. Oh, give a listen.

When you turn around and you backstab me one way or another, and you cheat me out of what's rightfully mine, that's when I get angry. Now, I'm the one doing the challenging. I'm issuing a challenge to you, Motley Cruz. Get in the ring with me. This time, I'm going full force. Jumping Jeff Farmer.

That guy's classic too, by the way. By the way, all wrestling promo bloopers are genius. Fucking great. Kim Paterra, it is just fantastic. Are there some bloopers out there? Have you ever seen the one where Booker T calls Hulk Hogan the N-word and then he grabs his head because he's humiliated? Well, Hulk Hogan calls Tony Atlas Black Boy.

Back when he was Thundalips. Well, this one's great. The Hulk Hogan. What's the tugboat one? Right here. Get the tape what we want, and after we take that fruga, in the giant, we want the gold sucker. Hulk Hogan, we're coming for you, nigga.

I should point out the pressure. He ran away with it. He puts his hands in the mic. Booker T puts his hands in the mic. It's the best when he turns around and he looks at the girl and his crew, like, oh, Vince is going to kill us. Get the tape what we want, and after we take that fruga, in the giant, we want the gold sucker.

Hulk Hogan, we're coming for you, nigga. I should point out the pressure. I should point out the pressure. And he was like, yay! What did you say? Which he should have been able to say, which he sounded good. Coming for you, nigga, because that's his character. Fantastic.

Wrestling promo bloopers are genius. We keep a tower of his genius. Lex Luger's genius. There's a Lex Luger blooper right there. Oh, yeah, yeah. Let me play the Lex Luger one. We take what we want, and after we take that fruga, in the giant, we want the gold sucker.

Hulk Hogan, we're coming for you, nigga. I should point out the pressure. The best part is he goes to cover his face, and then he makes it look like he's rubbing his hands together. He knows he fucked up somehow. Maybe this will fly after all. He also noticed the whole time he's got his chest, his pecs doing that.

Pecs are moving up and down. This one's good, because it's taken, when they do SmackDown, they tape it to rebroadcast, and they edit it sometimes. But if you have a satellite dish, you can pick up the satellite feed, and watch it live. So they got the satellite feed of Hulk Hogan just completely starting over,

and blowing it free. Okay. The Hulk's very good. Oh, he messes up in front of the Hulk crew. And you know, McMahon, the fact that I had something to do with building this company

just makes you sick. The fact that I am the one that put this company on the map and helped you make it what it is today, that makes you sick to your stomach, brother. Yeah. Yeah.

All those weird sets that you have, all those billions of dollars, the houses that your kids live in, the $20 million vacation home, and blow it up, because of these maniacs. Shut up!

Fucking Vince. Kiss my ass. Wow. Fucking Vince. Let me tell you something. I think you're starting to believe in your own bullshit, Hogan. I could have had anybody

play the part of Hulk, Hogan. I could have had anybody bring Hulk a man. Hold on one second, McMahon. You actually think anybody could have ran with Hulk a mania? Look at all the guys you gave the ball to. Look at all the guys that had the belt.

Look at all the guys that ran to the goal line. Nobody ran as hard as long as I did, McMahon. He sounds like a real argument. Yeah, I know. If you actually think if you actually think I was just the right guy

at the right place, at the right time, let me say it one more time, so you completely understand. If you actually believe in your mind, if you actually think that I was just the right guy

at the right place, at the right time, well then you're a bigger, delusional bastard than I thought you were, McMahon. Right gay, right gay. Yes! Cockabainia going wild. You know what I say right now, McMahon?

Right now we just settle this because I had a man with a rock a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, he was just paddling. You were the one to get in the ring. You were the one. The holy mother of God goes on forever.

Sam! Why would you do this, Sam? I put the good ones on. We're losing them, man. We got a good bid here. You go with a fucking four minute... Yeah, they really did mess up, didn't they? Yeah, yeah, what the fuck is...

It sounded like a regular phone. This is good. What's up with the Lex Luger? The Kempertaro one, dude. Yeah, that one next. Lex Luger. Mr. Luger, Mr. Luger. I saw what just happened out there with Ron Killens.

I just want to ask you, what are your plans for the next show, Super Brawl Saturday? Are you going to take care of Ron Killens? What kind of disgusting, despicable lack of respect is that Billy Watts' name show

booking a match for the total package Lex Luger and Super Brawl? Super Saturday, what is it? I know what it's called! Super Brawl Saturday? Can you afford to pay me to wrestle Ron? I don't know! I'm one of the biggest legend stars ever in this...

God! He can't have this shirt on. You're too tight, too, Billy! And you book a match with me, and that's right, Killens! Look at me! I'm a total package! I'm going to rip him apart! I'm pissed now!

He fucked that up! I don't think I'd... That stunk! Royally! Even the interviewer, he has his whole costume on, but his voice is just regular. Yeah, regular voice. What's that one, Sam?

This one's Kempitara. What? That's not right. That camera... That's really hard. What the fuck? Watch Geno! Geno goes the best!

He and Gene... I think he was laughing when he said dirty yard dog. Look at Gene! He had to turn around! But I do hear, and I hear well. All right, what a beating he took. That was a little too visual, because I mean, Gene is laughing his fucking ass off.

Dude, it's just... This someone's been... This is... This is really good. There's a couple things coming in. Botchmania on YouTube and Shockmaster. You've seen it before, I think. Botchmania is very visual, but...

I had 10 laughs in my life. Shockmaster's up there? Yeah. And it might be in the top five. This is my favorite one. Psycho City doesn't realize he's live. Oh, okay. It's live, pal.

You're just an idiot. You're live, pal. He just asked, let me do that again. He covered for him, though. Man, a few words. A few starting words. This is the Shockmaster. What's the setup on this?

This is a good version of it. They were supposed to... They had a mystery partner, and he was supposed to be the next big good guy in WCW. And he was supposed to bust through the wall. But nobody told him there was a support 2x4

at the base of the wall. So he trips right over the 2x4 and falls flat on his face. But you've got to have Sting. The entire thing is the funniest thing you've ever seen. Sting and the British Bulldog are horrendous.

They were supposed to be this big pump-up of the Shockmaster. But when he fought... I'm telling you, when Rick Flair, because he's one of the greatest of all time, is surrounded by

five bums who are awful. And his reaction to what happens, I watched this 700 times and I cry every time. The Shockmaster, he was just an old wrestler from the Tugboat in WWF

except they put a stormtrooper helmet, literally a stormtrooper helmet that they covered in glitter. Oh, it sparkles. Make sure you have the Sting lead in so that, you know... This was actually so bad

that this guy had a whole gimmick. He was going to be the next main event guy. They changed his entire gimmick so that he was just a klutz that always lost. They couldn't do anything with him. Because of his debut, yeah. The Shockmaster! The Shockmaster!

Wait! Wait! Wait! Don't miss! Don't miss! Rick Flair! Please listen to Rick Flair. It's probably what happened already.

The guy fell out of the wall and then he lost his helmet and then put it back on his head. And then he covered his old face so it's like that's a gimmick. He rolled on his head and then rolled away and then changed his head.

He was like a potted, glittered, potted plant on top of his fucking head. Do you think other wrestlers laughed at him for this? His voice was done. His voice was done by a guy off the set who had a live mic.

He didn't tape it, he did it live. So when he trips, you can hear them go, oh god. No, that was Rick Flair. When Rick Flair, he goes, let me tell you something.

If you watch the whole thing at home, you gotta understand, Harlem Heat, who would just go home, he was doing a bad promo. And Sid Vicious,

Sid Vicious was doing a bad promo. Now we just watched two bad promos. British Bulldog and Sting were awful. And Rick Flair had, this was like the Rick Flair show. So he was trying to put this together and Rick Flair was trying to, but when he fell through the wall,

Rick Flair went, oh god. That fall through the wall is the greatest thing I've ever seen. And it takes forever. It falls in slow. I went even further. That helmet falls.

The promo was up to that point. He's panicked grabbing for that helmet. And this is in front of the audience? It's a live audience and it's live on TV. This is their big thing leading up to a pay-per-view. Live television by the pay-per-view so you can see this guy make his debut.

That was supposed to be his debut. He's like, this is that big thing. And make him perfectly clear they're expecting big things from the Shockman. But you hide. Sting. Sting goes, you're in for a shock. And completely to the end.

How is that helmet thing going to stay on if he ever wrestles? Is this the best clip? The audio is a little low on this. Bear with us. I rounded a little further so you could get some more lead up. It seems to me

if you were as smart as you act like you are you wouldn't have waited just to tell everybody who your partner is. You want me to tell you? You want me to tell you? You know they're all nervous

because Flair's there. Flair is just like disgusted. I'm not gonna say no. I'm gonna go. Oh my god, is he yelling? No, the people. Who's that people? That's the British bulldog talking now.

All I have to say is all I have to say is our partner is going to shock the world. He sure is. He is none other than the Shockman. The Shockman.

That's the worst outfit I've ever seen. You have to listen. He's got Captain Caveman's vest on. It looks like he's wearing a pumpkin on his head. You have to understand that Rick Flair went off.

He said what the f... He was like oh god. Did he say that because Flair goes off? He was like oh god. Did he say that because Flair goes off? He puts his helmet back on.

Awkwardly. He's shaking his head through his mouth. He's gotta put his helmet on because the other guy's gonna do his promo for him so you can't see his mouth. It's in the top last I've ever had in my entire life.

Just because it's not even a regular wrestling game. It's the Shockmaster. He falls through the wall. He's supposed to break through. I watched this live in 1993. It's the greatest moment

in pro wrestling history. There's never been a better. I'm trying. It's killing me. There's eight different things that make you laugh. Do you think they watch this and just laugh? Absolutely. It completely destroyed his career. Not only do you have to

be as quiet as you can because you can hear Ric Flair say oh god. And then you can hear Offset where he's getting ready to do his promo for him. You can hear them making fun of him. It's hard. Let's try to be quiet.

It's so much fun. Keep the laugh to yourself. If you can. It just rolls off. It's a fucking fat gut of vets. Yeah. I fell through the wall. I was trying to drill a hole.

I made it too big. Wait a minute. You know what? And we're doing his costume of injustice. He had a giant fur vest that was three quarter length. With no buttons. A giant sparkly helmet and jeans and boots.

The Shockmaster. And no shirt. The Shockmaster. The Shockmaster was an ass. They literally, after this show they changed his entire gimmick. He became a construction worker that constantly falls down. That was his career.

They gave him bells palsy. The Strokemaster. He keeps having them. Okay. Shockmaster rules. This is the greatest thing I've ever seen. The smoke. Okay. Everybody contain yourselves.

We'll try. We'll try. It's like Big J. All I have to say is all I have to say is our partner is going to shock the world because he is none other than

the Shockmaster. The Shockmaster. Yeah. His voice hasn't started yet. You see him motioning with his hands. But his voice didn't start yet. The guy behind stage isn't talking yet. Right. So he's just motioning like he's talking like he's a mime.

But the worst is none of them said you fell through the wall. Shockmaster. They're still acting like y'all. I'm actually impressed with this guy to be able to yell without laughing. The shit stinks. He's so bad. He probably didn't know. He has no muscles at all.

He's terrible. The shock producer. He's got on tight gap jeans. I had to have my stomach stapled. I keep breaking the wall and falling. I wish we could hear the audio better. I was trying to nail a Foundry logo to the wall. I'll pummel you with how cupcakes are made DVDs.

And he fell. And this is the thing too. He fell no hands on his head. Like flat on his fucking fucking stupid helmet. And his helmet went falling. He's got down on the fucking floor like a fish. He felt like a guy with a sandpale on his head. With no stopping himself.

But dude, when he puts the helmet back on, I love the fact that he's staying there. He has to wipe the ground dirt off his hands. She rocked Dustin's ground dirt. And look at staying his bed. All I have to say is, he's calming everybody down. Here's the moment. All I have to say is, our partner's going to shock the world.

That guy fucked his mom. It was an explosion. It was a big pyro. And the pyro was off timing. It was a disaster. It was a disaster. It was, it's so bad. I got to see it again.

Please, we're ready. Does he ever get to talk? Oh yeah. Do you want to hear him? It's really hard to hear. The whole outfit, everything. Even if it wasn't a mistake. Yeah, he doesn't have a good body.

That terrible helmet. Wait, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it. Stop it, I'm sorry. You got to understand too. This was the Sid Vicious. Yeah. And the Harlem Heat. And they were beating up a British bulldog

and staying for like months. And this is the guy that is going to match the intensity of the three guys. The top bad guys in the company versus the top good guys. And they had no one with them. And they needed someone to save the day. And this is the guy, the fucking guy,

to stop the brutal onslaught. Enduring for the last month and a half. Do you, I would love to know what their, what is the shock master thinking after his helmet goes on? He's like, I just fell through the wall. How humiliating is this? It's a big moment and he falls through the wall.

Oh man. Oh, I wish I could see that from behind him. Oh man. Sam. The shock master. Rick Flair's, oh god. It's the best. So much tweeted that they made fun of this

on Raw recently? Yeah. Oh, did you do it? We get it with the clip. I'll get you the clip right here. All right, good. Yeah. Supposedly they went real inside

and made fun of this clip on Raw. It's all time. It's an all time. It's an all time. All right, here's one more from the shock master. Flair is going to shock the world because he is none other than the shock master.

The shock master. Dude, he just fell. There's no 2x4 there. He just fell. Everybody, man. We got it. Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

This is what he's doing. He's waiting for that guy to start talking and when he yells, he thinks it's his voice. He's actually pantomiming. The guy was yelling at him. He thinks that it's his backstage voice guy, but it's not. It's the guy yelling at him.

He can't even pantomime. The only, it's this 5 seconds, which seems like a million years, where everyone is collecting themselves to pretend that shit didn't. The audience, the Fritz Flair, the shock master. Everybody went holy shit.

His helmet's so discombobulated. He thinks what he's hearing is what he's supposed to be saying. Dude, they're all, but it's not. He is a stormtrooper helmet. He got that at a Halloween storm. Yes, yes.

Not a exaggeration. It's the stormtrooper helmet with glitter on it. And then he went to the next aisle. He got the Captain Caveman fur vest and kept his jeans that he drove to the arena in. I think I heard a better version from the guy that just tweeted me.

Hey, man, I gotta pick up at 9.45. I gotta go to the airport. You gotta go, Bill? Yeah. Fuck! Bill Burr came by to say hi, and we appreciate that, Bill. Yeah.

He's going back to that. I will be back next week. Yeah, hopefully. Next week? Yeah, hopefully. ASAP. Anytime. Bill will be back on the show next week.

Thank you, Mr. Burr. Keep up the podcast. I'm a big fan, Bill, of the podcast. There goes Bill. There goes Bill. They're all looking and going. The Shockmaster just fell through. They all see the whole gig going down the toilet.

Could you go back? Could you go to Shockmaster on Raw and just see if it's a better clip? Shockmaster on Raw is the... the Shockmaster on Raw. Like, that's the... when they made fun of him. That's not the original Shockmaster clip.

They have a clip of it, though, in the beginning just to set it up. All right, we could go with this. It's just that the audio is a little long. I just want you to hear his promo now. Yeah, let's go. You're going to have my... you're going to have Dan Bader

and we're going to be waiting for your next... So you're the man that rules the world. They call me the Shockmaster. But you just fell through the wall. You rule the world long enough, and I'm suspicious. Get ready. Come on, you want a piece of me?

They want a piece of me. Come and get me. Come after me, stead. I'm ready. Can you pause this? Glitter. I think he has a glitter storm trooper helmet. What is on his chest?

What is coming? It's all on his chest. What is coming off? It's on his chest from when he fell and sweated, and he got that fucking storm trooper helmet sparkles all over him. And why is Sid all scared of him?

Because he looked all scared. Why didn't he turn around and go douchebag? You just fell through the fucking wall. The Shockmaster is a dud. And the promo is terrible and embarrassing. He was supposed to be this brutal villain. This guy from another planet. Oh my God.

With jeans and boots and a fervor. And this voice. The first thing you see is him falling. You want a piece of me? I just fell through the wall. Oh, motherfucker. That is so funny. Now, what is the setup on this now?

Is this from 19 or 2009? Yeah, it was a year ago. See, much better audio. But he doesn't have his promo on this one. He is none other than the Shockmaster. The Shockmaster. I told you. Oh, God.

You heard someone say, what did he fall? What did he fall? Did you hear that? That low voice just says, what did he fall? That's from backstage. What did he fall? Oh, I love this guy. He is none other than the Shockmaster.

The Shockmaster. I told you. Oh, God. I told you. It's just so bad. Everything about it is poorly done. Everything. Everything is edited from the original one.

They've cut out some awkwardness. Oh, yeah. One thing I noticed. Yeah, this is when they... And then Rod did a spoof on it a year ago. Yeah, because they were putting out a... When was the original Shockmaster promo? 1993.

All right, so fucking 17, almost 17 years later, raw fucking goofed on it. That is hilarious. Let's see how they goofed on it. No, but where is that coming from? I don't know. I think it's coming from that wall. You know, it sounds like it's coming from over here.

Yeah. Oh, man. Where's that voice coming from? I don't know. It sounds like it's coming from right over there. Oh, there it is. It's coming out of the mic. It's standing backstage.

Did the crap... Yeah, did anyone even get it? Do wrestling fans love the Shockmaster clip? Yeah, oh, yeah, after that. If you never see... I remember a lot of labs I had in that Shockmaster. That's great. And then there were Dusty Rose, who was probably in the top five,

like, Mike guys of all time, too. Like, Dusty and Flair and all that. Who was the best? Was the rock the best Mike guy? No, he might not have even been in the top five. Really? He was great, though. Who else was good? Dusty, Rit Flair. Rit Flair is better than the rock.

Roddy Piper. He might name five. I'm trying to think. The rock was good at making catchphrases. How about Sgt. Slaughter? No. Oh, Jake the Snake is in the top five probably. Rock is not in the top five. He's in the top ten.

Stone Cold is probably better on the Mike than the rock. Stone Cold is probably, that's the five. The rock was just good at making catchphrases. Dusty's the best, though. Dusty and Flair are neck and neck. They're also saying Owen Hart had a really good one. A really good blooper. Oh, yeah, the best blooper of all time, buddy. Oh, that's terrible.

No, no, I'm saying that damn Shockmaster, dude. That is hysterical. I like when I'm able to laugh until I come actually fucking tears are coming out my eyes. Owen Hart went funny. I just recently stopped watching it and laughing. But you still watch it with this thing like, wow. He went right on his fucking head.

It's the worst thing that could have happened. The worst thing. And the helmet falling off and he scrambles to put it on and it's so clumsy. And then he's just standing there trying to be tough. With all the glitter on his chest. It's not unusual. All right.

We got Lisa. She's very pissed off. Is she really? Yes, she is. Lisa in Jersey. Lisa. Yes. Hi, Lisa.

How many girls does he, is he with? It just shows the product of woman he's with. I just can't believe that women fall for his crap. Oh, you're an easy mark. Listen to you. You have no guidance. Oh, an easy mark. Yeah, I would get you within two days of knowing me.

You'll be subscribing. Yeah, right. Just by your answer, sweetie, I can tell you go, this is classic. Yeah, right. Whatever. Here's what is on your mind. I'm a big arrogant, big mouth fucking asshole, right? And you want to curb, you want to destroy that any way you can.

So here's what you do. If you're pretty, this is what pretty girls fuck up. They, they try to hear, hear a giggling. This is, this is, this is, here's what pretty girls fuck up. They try to get me because I'm a fat motherfucker. So what they try to do is they play the love game. They give me something they think is precious, which is pussy. That's what girls have to give.

But after we have to get that's, that can an attack mode. You, what other plan can you have other than your pussy on attack? If you want to, if you want to destroy a man's fucking arrogance, what do you do to do that other than use your pussy? Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Do you hear what she's doing to singing?

Cause she really don't have an answer. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's like, what else can you do? Talk about fucking the French re-rear with me. You, you, innately. Obviously you couldn't talk about that. Yes, I could.

Innately, innately, here's what you got to understand, ma'am. We don't like you. No matter what you know, we don't care if you know all the quarterbacks in NFL. We don't know if you, we don't care if you know every team color. We don't care if you know all the GM's. We don't care if you know every basketball. We don't care because innately we don't like you. So you try to infiltrate your personalities on us and you realize that you're not interested.

Then you try to fuck us. When that doesn't work, you're ours. Okay, okay. So that's the only reason that you're interested. At first? And then, look it, if I work hard to get what I want, which is pussy, right? You agree with that, that we work hard to get pussy, right? Yes.

Then after I do what I do, what's your job? Don't you like the companionship or something? Yes, but in a, in a possession kind of way. Like, like you, you go wild. This girl, she, you know what women have to do? Grow on you. My girl been around for four years. Grow on you.

Oh my God. Yes. You love, you, you, you love. I can't, I can't imagine that you're dating an intelligent beautiful woman. She's a genius, really? She's fucking a genius girl. I, I think doctors, lawyers, people tell you. I don't date no fucking homeless people.

Retards, no one that dates on Paxil or no shit like that. Look who's in bed with you telling her, telling who, that she just had a miscarriage. That sounds like an intelligent woman. Oh, and that's a goofy bitch. But that's the bitch you, that's the bitch you fuck when you just meet. The bitch with lactate meth. Fuck it. Had a, had a miscarriage.

That's, that's, that's the, that's the price you pay when you meet a bitch on, on the street. But that was a snack for Patrice. Yeah. I'm just talking about like, like a girl like you, we would go out to dinner. You would curse me out for a little while. You would, you would understand because you, innately you don't have your own philosophy because you're not really saying anything now. Yeah.

When, when Patrice brought up the fact that the pussies, the weapon, when they go, when you girls go into battle for the first time, this is before any get to know you, get to know you, whatever it was. It's just. Because that's, we, we know that's all you want in the beginning. That's all we want, but. In the beginning. That's not all I want unless that's all you got.

Now, if all you got is pussy, why would I try to. You don't sound like that. You sound like, you know, this is the way I keep her on track. And this is, you know, she's, that's mine. Like, look at your mouth. Like you can tell there's no guidance in your life because you're too comfortable yapping about nothing. Okay.

You talk about nothing all the time. Right. Because I'm a guy and that's what we do. But you, but you, the stuff you talk about that you think is about something. You talk constantly. Thank you. But it's always interesting when guys talk. All right, Lisa.

Thank you. We got a couple more here. Let's go to Kevin in Nebraska. Kevin. Hey guys, what's up? Jump in, find your spot and go. Hey, Dr. O'Neill, man, you need to shut up. My wife was this show and you're giving away all my secrets.

I'm sorry, man. I don't get no good soldiers in trouble, but it's the state that's yapping. Let's go right to Colorado. Kirsten. What's up? Hey, I totally agree with Patrice. Absolutely agree with Patrice. Men need to know their place.

Know what they do. Do it well and please their man and their man will be around forever. Good girl. Wow. Forever. Absolutely. Men need a rider. Be a rider.

It's not that difficult. Keep your mouth shut. Do what you're told. Be who you are. Is that what you do with your girl? All right. Thank you, Kirsten. Let's go to John and Utah.

John. Yeah. I just want to say Patrice saved my marriage. I was the doting husband and it was all about her. Started to listen to him and things were going bad. So I started going, well, what would Patrice do? I started following his advice. What would Patrice do?

It was bad at first, but it's turned her around and we're happier than we could possibly be. Here's what he said. Here's what he said. Here's what he said. We're happy. A happy man is a happy relationship. A happy woman is a miserable man.

Patrice. Wow. She wanted me to be the man. That's what the fucking point is. You got to do a one shot deal, a relationship advice show for this channel. Like one hour, two hours, whatever you want to handle. It's just simple. We'll work that out with Washington.

Patrice O'Neill on the show by himself just taking calls. Here's why you should always understand why it's legitimate. I'm a fucking mess physically. I'm trying to get in shape one of these days, but naked. If you look at me naked next to my girl, you would go, what the fuck? My self-esteem has to, when I fuck her, I have to go, why is she fucking me? I would never give me no pussy. I'm looking at her going, what's she up to?

My low self-esteem. Got to be an ulterior motive. My self-esteem is so low, it's high. I go, what is this bitch after? But I start realizing it's a mind thing. All they want, all they want is just a motherfucker they can look at and blink slow and respect. It's not about beating them and subjugating them. It's about they look at you and feel like they don't need to be your mama.

That's it. That they go, wow, this motherfucker is in my corner. He handles his business. This is what I'm saying in your house situation. You become a million times sexier. Because that's some man shit you did is buy a fucking mansion. That's some man shit. You bought a mansion, Anthony.

So it's like your girl can't help but go this motherfucker. When you're renting, she can kind of that other half of her voice that tries to put you down. She can look at you and go, this faggot is renting at $59. But now it's like... This nigga's renting a house. This pussy ass nigga. You bought a mansion to get clothes. She wants you more.

You're hotter. $159 finally. You're hotter than you was when you was renting. It's a fact. Fuck, man. Wow. That's really good. Hey, wait, hold on a minute.

Let's go to John. You got people, man, reacting to that. Oh, yeah. John in Pennsylvania. Patrice, I'm impressed. You know how to keep your woman in line without a contract. Yeah, man. It's mind shit, dude.

It's mind. I'm telling you. It's like... It's like... It's pimping without beating her and making her sell pussy. It's just... They want that, dude. Don't ever let them convince they don't want that.

What will they do without a man's guidance? You never see a woman at once. They try to... You see how the success to a woman is being like a guy. It's like, I do this. I do that. I do this and that. And we can care less.

Like a sexy man, like fucking a female opie, like a woman... A woman that's in the same position that's opie's in is not any sexier than the bitch that works at McDonald's if she's cute. That's the thing about us. We don't... It's a good point. Very good point. You don't see a woman walking on the street.

A lot of people are calling you the Black Doctor Phil. Black Doctor Phil. That's the name of your show. We're going to give Patrice like one or two hours. See how it goes. Black Phil. The Black Doctor Phil with Patrice O'Neill. Black ass Philo.

All right. Don's listening. We got to set that up. You want to do... I don't know. When would it make sense? Sounds like get my fucking whole mind straight. Like I just go off on impromptu.

No, we'll just turn on the freaking channel and just let the phones ring and see what happens for an hour. We'll set that up in the very near future. Let's go to Turtle from Wackbag. Turtle. Hey guys. Listen, Patrice, you're absolutely right. I've been jumping through hoops ever since I met my wife.

Trying to get the pussy. And once you got it, they put up more hoops for you to jump through. I got to go home and implement the O'Neill standard in my own. The O'Neill standard. Wow. Because she knows eventually you're going to figure out... If she doesn't constantly apply pressure that you're going to figure out, holy shit. What?

Like my man, he was nervous that his wife was going to leave him. And I go, let me ask you a question. Like if you really... If we really sit down, if my woman left, your woman left, your woman left. You go, what would you really miss about her? Exactly. Like what would you miss? It's your own arrogance.

Our arrogance is men. Because they're possessions. And if they leave, it's like losing your favorite pencil. But it's like... Pencil. He's equating... He's equating a relationship. A loving relationship.

Of tears. You're losing... Maybe your favorite pencil. Doesn't even sound like it's a number two pencil. No. You're losing. Oh. You're losing.

You're losing. Oh. Isn't it a pity? It's a pity to change. Hey. How we break each other's tongue. Cause we're just playing. How we take each other's love.

It's not thinking at all. It's a pity to give back. This isn't it a pity. It's a pity to give back. This isn't it a pity. Forgetting to give back. This isn't it a pity. This isn't it a pity.

This isn't it a pity. This isn't it a pity. This isn't it a pity. This isn't it a pity. This isn't it a pity. This isn't it a pity. This isn't it a pity. This isn't it a pity.

This isn't it a pity. This isn't it a pity. This isn't it a pity. This isn't it a pity. This isn't it a pity. This isn't it a pity. This isn't it a pity.