Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-30-23

Episode Date: December 1, 2023

Bill rambles about clutter, the algorithm, and old politicians. (00:00) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast (31:33) - Thursday Throwback 11-23-15 Bill rambles about drinking yourself to death, giant fish tanks, and the draw play. (01:26:50) - Anything Better NFL Preview & Picks 

I have a big family and they're spread around multiple countries. So a few years ago it was my brother's wedding and most of them decided to come. Great news, but a big problem. Where do you put eight people all with different requirements and keep them all together? We looked at some hotels but then it was obvious get an Airbnb. My mom and I were able to find the perfect place. It was a big house with multiple rooms and in a part of the city with woods

and walking trails all around. The Airbnb also included a huge kitchen where we all got together the day after the wedding for a big family meal. This is a cherished memory for my family and me. And whenever I drive by that location, it always makes me smile. Not long ago, my mom and I stopped by that area to walk around and remember one of the most special times for my family.

Whether you're traveling with friends or with family for a big wedding or justification, get an Airbnb. Hey, what's going on at Spill Burr and it's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday Monday morning podcast and I'm just checking in on you. First things first, I was given away some shit last week on Monday's podcast. It's been given away. The practice guitar, the travel guitar and the flight simulator software shit. So thank you everybody that asked we just picked we just picked the most desperate looking people it's the holiday season um anyway i have more shit i need to give away so you know i got a bunch of fucking shit i gotta give i got a bunch of books i want to give away i always want to walk down the street you know those little fucking things

those those little nerdy Coverage on the side of the road or whatever you call a little glass thing leave a book take a book Take a book leave a book that type of thing for like I don't know who the last thinkers amongst us I'm sure it doesn't happen out there in the middle of fucking Kansas Right it's to goddamn spread out maybe in Kansas City not not we're gonna happen out there in the middle of fucking Kansas. Right, it's too goddamn spread out. Maybe in Kansas City, we're not way out there. You know, places I used to go to. I can never remember the far out places, far out man. Places I went in Kansas, just in Nebraska,

like Hayes, Hayes, Kansas. I remember driving the fucking 80 in the middle of nowhere and for some dumb reason it was like this wooden bridge that went over and I'm like, what in the fucking, it was just like a field on either side of it. Like, at least that's how I remember it. And then like grand junction way out in Colorado, all of those places.

Anyway, you know We only one book out here That's how to cook math no the Bible the good book Whatever I'm I'm I gotta get I'm gonna get rid of all of this fucking shit. I got so much fucking shit Like I'm in and my my drum room right now. It's just just clut look at all these fucking drums So go least what about what I got one of my a session drummer or some shit? You know what this is? It's when you don't have the gift of music what you start to do is buy all the shit that your heroes played

And you're like maybe if I play what they play LP is good as they are and it just doesn't work and then you have your own little music store here Your own little music store here your own little music store Oh Billy Freckles. Oh Billy whiskers. I am seven days in no cigars no coffee. I'm telling you right now. It's not gonna last All right, if I can't have a cup of coffee I can I can maybe do without coffee But in this cigar thing, you know, I don't know how to do it. I don't, I mean, I'm an all-in-nothing guy. I'm either fucking doing it. Or I'm not.

I don't know how to fucking, I don't know how to lay off. You know what the key is to laying off is actually laying off. That's what I don't do. I do it and then the next day, in the next three days, two, three days when I should just lay off and get that craving out of my system, I don't. I give into it.

I need to lay off. But I was doing great like this time last year. I went November, December, all the way to like May of last year where I would take the first 10 days off no vices No nothing All right No fucking heroin. No who was no nothing No, my vices are basically

Weed gummies I Go in and out with those things, but I just don't like them. I'm not a weed guy I'm a booze guy and I'm a booze guy, and I left the booze behind. I celebrated five years, five years of smoking more cigars and drinking coffee instead of fucking killing myself that way instead of the alcohol. Now I'm gonna get a bunch of fucking WebMD douchebags going, you know, I actually be better up, you're still drinking

because you know the new studies show you know i you know i favor thing in the fucking one is my favorite thing but i just like to preface things that i say i say you know my favorite thing is or i say ninety percent that's my percent out percentage that i like to use and what not but um what i was going to say is uh... these fucking i like these people that somehow they know how to find the truth on the internet

is the most amazing skill you could ever have like the level of lying on all levels of the fucking internet everybody just spinning their fucking all the social media for the most part right I saw this I saw this stupid fucking ad of this guy. He was wearing the lining of a jacket Okay, and they just said hey, hey, this is the new style wearing the lining of a fucking jacket Maybe like I'm not fucking doing that. I'll just unzip the lining of my winter coat. Nope. They don't do that. They have an a muscle car Making this guy seem like he's just fucking everything from here to fucking grand junction Colorado

Bangin all that sticky pus up there. They agree Lee Is it the slaughterhouse or is it the women? We're taking callers. I'm sorry, that was me. You see, you know, I only only social media I do is Instagram. All right. And I just watched drummers and I look at old cars. And I try to stay away from those those those people that are showing you how to work out. Oh, it's like, they just never have any fucking clothes on and you just try as a man not to click on it. And the second you click on one,

you watch one fucking video. The next time you go and you hit the magnifying glass, it's like, that's all there is. You know, so then I gotta watch like fucking 19 videos on a Buick Century or some shit just to try to fuck with it again, you know, so then I got to watch like fucking 19 videos on a Buick century or some shit just to try to fuck with it again, you know to get it back Okay, I made one mistake Instagram I'm in order talking about I'm just I'm talking about the lies man Anyway, I flew again this week, man.

I'm getting, this is the time of year where they have the Santa Anna wins. And every time I go out there, I'm looking at the sky and the sky's nice and clear. So I'm like, well, it's gotta be pretty windy up there. And sure enough, because I didn't redo my windy app, but even if it's really as windy, I got the fully articulated main rotor system.

You people know this, I've told you this shit. I'll just fly the pattern because it's not good for the hell. He did be sitting around, right? So I get in, it's fucking, you know, winds variable, right? Which doesn't mean like which way they come in from. It means they, they don't even register. As far as I can tell, you know, let's say five knots. When they say wind's variable, it's just calm.

A little whisper this way, that way, right? So of course I get in there, I listen to the atis, and I don't set it here like, you know, fucking some no-tam about turbulence. I was like, I fucking knew it. So I go up anyway, you know, I'm dumb, right? I'm not dumb, I'm safe. I was like, I'm gonna go up, I'll fly the pattern, and if it sees like, I'm getting knocked around. So I go up anyway, you know, I'm dumb, right? I'm not dumb, I'm safe. I'm like, I'm gonna go up, I'll fly the pattern

if it's, he's like, I've been knocked around, I'll come back. So I went out and I flew, I don't know, I flew about like, maybe about 20 minutes in one direction. I started going up and over the hills and then of course that's when it starts getting all bumpy. And I was just like, I don't need this shit. Do I need this shit?

I don't need this shit. Then I just went back, set it down perfectly. Perfectly. I got the muscle memory back. Right, you bring it onto the pad. You just sort of drive it on, staying just ahead of your own fucking vortices. And right, as you're about ready to set down

gentle apsychlic and it just sets down like a daisy. I set it down like that when I gave my wife The right. Oh, she took a little video of it. Oh, that's right. Oh, am I patting myself on the back? I think I am Anyway, plowing ahead people. Let's enjoy the rest of this year. We don't have a lot of it Okay, after today we only have 31 days left 31 days left until it's another ungodly year of a presidential election. Jesus fucking Christ. Is there a reason why our only two picks are going to be two guys like that are like fucking 85 fucking years old? You know, that's all I want at this point.

I don't give a fuck. What color the tie is. I just want somebody in their 40, that's all I want at this point. I don't give a fuck what color the tie is. I just want somebody in their 40s that's gonna have to live with some of their decisions. Oh my God, I just realized. If somebody in their 40s gets in, I've never been older than a standing president. I've never been older than a president. They've all been older than me. I think the youngest guy right now would be Barack Obama.

Oh, big, right? He's probably the youngest guy, but once, you know, once he went in there, that's the thing. The second you get in there, you fucking, you start looking like a founding father, how quickly you age. Even Barack Obama, you know, they say black, don't crack, it goes gray great though i'll tell you that

that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that Why the fuck anybody would want that job? Just stay in the Senate. You're still gonna be worth 20 grand with all the fucking insider trading that they're not allowed to fucking prosecute you on. And most people don't even know your name. So even if they get mad in your state, you just move one state over. Nobody knows who the fuck you are. And then just tell them, I bought Apple stock. That's it. That's it. And then you're up a new

ham, sure you got your fucking indoor outdoor infinity pool into a fucking mountain of coke that you skate, you ski on. That's how you do politics. You don't get into politics to help people. If you get into politics to help people, that's how you get whacked. All right. Well, you got to help the right people right you got to help the right we got to help the rat ones baby all hall um get my fucking ass kicked this bed mgm shit i'm so sick of the fucking half a point it's fucking genius fucking It's fucking genius. That's right up there with 22 is a push in Blackjack for the dealer and the dealer only. Well, it happens when I hit 22. Oh, you lose.

I mean, isn't there enough here? You got two decks going. I can't count cards. It's not enough. It's not enough. You just got to get some more. He's got to get more out of me, don't you? Like a goddamn brood.

I had a fucking great week as a dad, Jesus Christ. One of my kids wants something for fucking Christmas and I'm just like, you're not, you're not getting, when I buy in that, you know. And you know, kids, kids don't give a fuck and you tell them no they they just they just you know they act like an adult woman is what they do they just go get really emotional they say crazy shit and you just have to sit there and take it going. They don't mean any of this. Just ride it out, just ride out the fucking storm. And that's kind of like what I do.

You know, if you notice about this podcast, I don't have a guest I talk about people. They're not on here. They can't defend themselves. So I always end up being the hero. Okay. And this is done on purpose. I'm building my brand. Oh speaking of which on Monday December 4th, I will be announcing my

2024 2024 fucking tour. I cannot believe it. I Started way back in 1992. Jesus Christ. And now it's 20 24 I had a buddy mine just found some footage of an interview he did with me. Way back in the day, I think it was like he thinks it's around 2002. And I remember right around then I started to feel like I was becoming a grizzled vet. And I was only 10 years in. And it's funny now, 32 to look at look at me back then with my fucking thin face

Still let a full head of hair and I was just looking. Oh my god. I was a I was a baby But I still think I was like 34 though if it was 2002 But whatever I'm gonna take a look at that footage and I'll be posting on one of these stupid throwback Thursdays Or I don't know. I'll use it for something. I'll use it for something. But anyway, the presidential election is coming. Oh my God.

Can you, what are they going to do? They can't have Joe Biden debate. He's not going to know where he is. There's no way. There's no fucking way that that guy can make it To November and next year What's the overrun on that Sunglasses sunglasses and a half

One and a half fucking aviators that that guy's gonna be able to make it I don't know what they're doing with that guy. It's like, can you just let the guys, I mean, I'm fucking 55. I need to take afternoon naps, unless I pump myself full of coffee. Oh, freckles. I got to go lay down. I don't get, I don't get time for that shit. I'm in my Danny Glover years. I'm too old for that shit. And this fucking guy, 80 years old. It's kind of ironic, ironic you know he probably wanted that job his whole life and he finally gets it is not even a fucking remembered uh... they should treat him like a horse that broke its leg ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha How the fuck would you know? I know you're supposed to make fun of somebody that has like mental problems, but it's like you're allegedly running the company.

The country here, sorry, the company. I don't know. I did a fun show yesterday. I did a fucking, it wasn't a new and I did a 230 in the afternoon show for some cops out here in LA, which is such a fun group to do it in front of, because they're like this, they're like cowboys and conservative all at the same time.

It's like they're wide open and they can be like oddly conservative. So like I was sort of like when I was doing the show, like I would say, you know, most people will laugh them, but there was a few people looking at me and I was thinking like, I don't think I wanna get pulled over by that person. But the rest of them were cool.

This really cool spot. A bunch of motorcycles there and shit. So that's another, like, I'm gonna, because guitar center, dad with drums, I'm also that way with motorcycles. I always look at them and I talk to the person that owns it. And I say, you know, I rode a couple of times, you know? I used to play in a band and you know,

that type of thing. I'm the funny guy at the office. I'll the dumb shit that you say, you know, when you meet somebody that's doing something that you wish you were doing, you somehow gotta be like, you know, I threw a football once. I guess I can talk to you now that you're a professional quarterback. Um, anyway, some Michigan fans were upset this week, huh?

That they weren't number one. I don't even give a shit that they're coming at him for that fucking sign stealing bullshit. I just want to know who they pissed off because that's the thing with that. You fucking pissed somebody off and they decided to enforce a rule that they just don't enforce. I think everything has that.

It's kind of like what they're doing with Trump right now, right? It's just like they could enforce that fucking rule on every rich cunt out there. Forget about the bankers who give them the loans, you know, who just allowed them to inflate, you know, how much their asset was worked versus what they were going to loaned out, right? You could do that to anybody. But old Donnie boy, the orange cunt, he pissed them off. And what's funny is he's morons that like him, thinks that he pissed him off

because he was gonna clean up the swamp. That's what I love. That's another genius thing that he did, literally being in the fucking swamp and then acting like he was gonna, yeah, I'm gonna clean it up. It's like, aren't you the swamp? I'm confused, right?

So this fucking guy, I just, this is my theory on that guy they don't give a fuck about whether you're president whether you have a blue tie or a red tie they just want to know what you're gonna do they just need it to be predictable I think I've said this probably a million times in this he was just I'm nobody knew what the fuck he was gonna do. And then he turned on his own cabinet and they're like, all right, this guy's out of his fucking mind, okay?

I don't mind a fucking Larry liberal in there. I know he's gonna tax the shit out of me so I can move my money over here. But I know what he's gonna do, right? Talk about stealing signs, all right? They know what the fuck they're gonna do, but you get, you get Donnie in there. Oh, crazy legs Johnson, you know?

He goes up there, you know? They call the play in his helmet and he starts doing a fucking audible, like, like, Peyton Manning, they don't know what's going on. And the best part, he doesn't know what's going on. All he knows is he just called the greatest play ever. Some people would say that maybe he's the greatest

play caller of all time. I don't know. I still wanna try that on my wife. When she gives me shit, Of all time, I don't know. I still want to try that on my wife. When she gives me shit. I actually did something today and she goes to me. She was telling me how proud she was of me. She goes, you know, 85% of the time you drive me nuts. I go 85% and she goes, yeah, she goes 15% of the time.

15% of the time you're great, right? Which is really a fair assessment. But I blew the moment I could have gone Trump on. You know, I should have just been like, you know, actually I'm an incredible husband. I actually don't think that you have the ability to understand how great a husband I am. I mean, some people might say that,

some people are saying that I'm the greatest husband of all time. I mean, I people might say that, some people are saying that I'm the greatest husband of all time. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Still watching Kojak, still not watching the news. That's what I'm doing. But if I'm gonna put together a new hour here,

well, I don't know. I haven't taken this special yet, right? I'm just getting sick of my shit. Sick of you, bullshit, bill. I did have a good week of fucking Christmas shop enough. You know, I was sort of flat-lined. I didn't know what to do. And I actually got my daughter her big gift. And my son's big gift is on the way. And now I got to deal with my wife.. And now I gotta deal with my wife. Hey, I gotta deal with my wife.

I gotta keep her in line here. I don't know what I'm gonna get her. I have an idea. I think I know what I'm gonna get her. I just have to go fucking do it. And then I did this spontaneous purchase for my daughter and I got the wrong fucking size. And I thought I was being so smart.

He's cute little purple pajamas, you know. She likes purple this week, you know. Last week it was blue before that it was red, you know. You know they are, right? By the time Chris was come along, she's probably gonna hate purple. And I bought her the size that she is now. And I thought I was being so smart because I got a gift wrapped.

So I don't have to fucking deal with that. Now I gotta take it back to the store, get it ungift wrapped and get back there before the other ones have gone. It's just like, this is just so, and the whole time I'm just sitting there going, this is so fucking stupid. I went to one of these big box stores, okay?

And I got my son something, and then I spontaneously bought my daughter something. I ended up getting the wrong fucking size, so I have to go back. I bucked both of them gift wrapped, and then I go downstairs and I say, Hey, I go, do you got a face scrub for men? I used to use that clinic shit, but they changed their formula. It sucks now. Now it feels like lotion. I like it when it feels like I got an SOS pad on my skin. It

makes me feel like I'm doing something here. I mean, what am I, I live in LA? There's all kinds of smog. I got to get it off my face. I mean, this, this, this is the breadwinner. Okay, my big fucking Charlie Brown head. Um, so of course, what she suggests only comes in this big fucking box with like these three other goddamn things. It's like, I don't want all that. I just want the tube of that. And she goes, it only comes in this thing. So I go, all right, how much is that? She's like, it's $75. I'm like, for those three tubes, and she's like, yes, she goes, but it's on sale for $63. And I'm like, all right, and then she rings it up

and goes, okay, that'll be $70. It's like, what happened to $63? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Choozy 75, but it's on sale for $63. That'll be $70. That's what she did. I just started fucking laughing. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm there for three days and now I'm like I'm never gonna use that shit

But I tried So anyway, I'm gonna try to Try to get my Christmas shit done Maybe like in the next week if I could just get all of that done and then hell all of my shit wrapped Then I can just fucking hang out because I really don't have anything to do Everything is kind of behind me. Thank you to everybody that's been watching Leo by the way getting a bunch of nice emails about that Adam Sandler Adam Sandler, playing Leo and all of that type of Robert Smigel. I'm trying to remember all the names of the people that I worked with.

A bunch of geniuses over there wrote a killer script. I got to do a couple of lines in it. Once again, that's been my formula. That's my formula. I do 10 lines in something amazing that somebody else wrote and then somehow they think that I'm a part of it. Oh, I just gave you the code. That's how it is. That's how it is. Ten lines, fucking five lines on Chappelle Show, ten lines on Breaking Bad, couple of scenes on Mandalorian. I'm not writing any of that stuff. I didn't come up with that.

None of that's my shit. I just went in and said what they fucking told me to say. You have such an interesting career. Yeah, I wait for other people to write great shit and then I say what they wrote. And I did it again with Leo. So thank you to everybody over there. And thank you for all you guys for watching the shit. Um, so anyway, there's some sort of fucking stomach virus going around with all the damn kids. Um, my kids have been all right so far, but I'm just waiting for that to hit.

That should come in, that should come in right around fucking Christmas. That's what I'm thinking. Tell that shit usually works. But anyways, as I mentioned earlier that I was off to cigars and coffee, I'm going back to the gym. I still haven't gotten, I can get into the green shirt. That was the goal by the end of the year.

So I got four more weeks and I only need to lose about like three, four more pounds, which I can do if I buckle down. But the problem is it's the month of December, you know, so there's all these fucking Christmas parties and shit. So I'm just going to make sure I go easy at those, you know, I'm just going to have like a, I don't know, try to have a healthy meal before I go to those things, do a couple of laps, say a couple of laps, say a load of people, and then get the fuck out of there. I mean, I'm at the point right now. I'm laying off bread. Oh, red is laying off the bread. Unbelievable, bleat, difficult.

I had no idea how much bread fills you up. You know? You have a meal after eat with no bread. You ever just eat healthy, like 20 minutes later you're hungry, because your body's just like, alright, we processed all this. We've converted it to energy, and now we need some more fucking, you know, we're running low here. You turn your body into like a gasser, right? We just have enough fuel to do the quarter mile, whatever the hell they did, you know, that little fucking gas tank on the front of the fucking thing.

Then you eat like a sandwich. they did that little fucking gas tank on the front of the fucking thing. Then you eat like a sandwich and like just how I guess how hard it is for your body to process. I guess shitty bread. You know, I think if you have like good bread, or whatever the Italians do that's semolina instead of whatever the fuck we use over here. Yeah, I don't know, this American food that you eat, you fucking, that is the good thing about our poisonous food is you stay full for a while, but I'm trying to be like, I know this isn't going to last everybody. Okay. So don't fucking roll your eyes at me.

I'm already doing it. All right. I'm just trying to go as long as I fucking can with this whole, this whole hell thing that I'm gonna be doing. I know I'm done with cigars for a while though, but for a while means probably until the end of next month. I mean, what am I supposed to fucking do here? Like, am I supposed to be like meditating and taking naps and Fucking eating salads? Let me tell you what this douche said. He's not my doctor anymore. I fucking went into the guy, right? He does a check out check up, right? And rather than just saying like, hey man, you're a great shape for 55 He was telling me the stuff, you know, I got to watch out for us. I appreciated that and he like oh really? I got to watch out for so i appreciate it then he like all really got to watch out for that he said

yeah he goes your age there's no good news you you leave your fucking said that i i so many times i wish i could go back to that moment and just be like uh... can i have my chart please you know longer my doctor like what the fuck kind of thing is that to say to a pay?

Obviously, I know that. I know that I'm sliding down the back half, but I also know that your mindset is what is really important to you. Why would you just say the most negative thing ever? I just felt like that was like such a fucking ego thing for him to say. You know, there's no good news. Duh, duh, duh. Alright, there, Dr. Smok and Feffer.

Uh, well, you got a little lab coat and all of a sudden, you're a couple of pens you think you know shit? Go fuck yourself. Jesus Christ. Fucking sit in there. Looking at a half naked 55 year old bald ginger, and you come up with the brilliant this no good news after this There was no fucking good news when I was born. I was fucking orange. I weighed 10 pounds. I was a mess

But fucking ginger was a watermelon. That's what I look like. There's not one cute picture of me a baby I've been hiding the buying the fucking eight ball my whole goddamn life. I don't need you coming in here From sitting on this fucking piece of paper for 10 fucking minutes you can make you goddamn dramatic entrance Jesus Christ, there's no good no all of 55. I start growing hair on top of my head again I thought that that's what happened. Oh, thanks for clearing it up Fucking jerk off. He should have been a veterinarian you know always all about veterinarians are walking around like they're actually doctors too it's like you're not all right you're a fucking professional farmer

you're a white collar farmer I Don't reason why that made me laugh so hard cuz it didn't really make sense and then I was also picturing veterinarians listening to this and getting super fucking offended No, I like veterinarians. I can tell you what I'm done watching ugly checks hugging cows though on Instagram. Jesus Christ It's it's like which one's the cow? You know, I'm so sick of fucking people trying to tell me that fucking, they understand animals. Now they have the same emotions we do.

Oh, do they? Do they really, or are you, are you just not connecting without the human beings? So now you're lost in this weird fucking world. I mean, when you love an animal to that level, you'll like, you ever see those weirdos that are like, they're literally in love with their car. And it goes beyond just being a car guy,

like they actually get aroused looking at it. Like I saw this fucking thing one time. On one of those trashy shows, and they were showing people that are the women that were in that they would love with inanimate objects like there was something fucking wrong with them. I think animal people, you know, this if I like I love animals. Hey, I like them like the next guy, but I'm not going to lie to you. I do go on YouTube and I fucking watch them

battle to the death. I do watch that. I did watch a fucking bear trying to pull a pig over this fucking decided this fence and he couldn't do it. You know what kills me about prey is they don't help each other out. You know what I mean? Like if you went up to a fucking lion, let's just say you could fuck them up. The other lions ain't gonna sit there and let you do that. They're gonna jump you. Hyenas do it, all the prayed wild dogs, carcasspanials, they all gotta throw them in there. They bite more fucking people than junkies. Carcasspanials bite more fucking mailman a year

than junkies bite police officers. I'm gonna put that out there. I'm gonna say that, I think that's a fucking fact. I learned that when I owned a pit bull. And you only, only people who said that, people that own pit bulls. Ha ha ha ha ha. Trying to pass the guilt onto somebody else.

Sorry, my chair, sitting in this chair that's a little squeaky here. No, I'm not gonna lie to you. I would love to go hug a cow. All right, I like cows, you know. Actually, I have not gonna lie to you. I would love to go hug a cow. All right, I like cows. You know, actually I have to end on that. I like cows, there you go, you know. I like the whole deal.

I like the milk. I like hearing a moo. I like petting them on the head. I like when they're slaughtered and then you fucking eat them with some greens. All right, that's it. That's the podcast everybody. Enjoy your weekend, your

cunts. And then there'll be a bonus episode of the Thursday afternoon just before Friday Monday Morning Podcast. Alright, see you. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and this is the Monday Morning Podcast from Monday, November 30th, 2015. What's going on how I I'm not doing shit. It's Sunday night Sitting here with my fucking pit bull and I'm watching it's half time of the Patriots Broncos That's when I'm that's when I'm recording this What blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah You know what sucks about the fucking NFL? I never thought I would say this this fucking parody thing. I swear to God Every any team can beat any team. So you'd die like a thousand deaths every Sunday

Remember back in the day, you know if your team was good you had those teams you could just kick the shit out of four of them a year It just seems every week now.'re in a fucking dog fight. It's 14 to seven. Now they're going into the half. It's starting to snow out there. These orange crush cuts are starting to feel confident. I tell we got hurt. Yeah, what are you gonna do? Hey, you know what I noticed watching Sunday night football. You know when they have the the little thing, I'm sorry, I got the TV on in the background. I can't believe they're redoing the wiz. You know, do you guys ever see the original one?

I swear to God, is it me? Is it fucking nine hours long? It takes them like three hours before they even get to Nipsey Russell. Come on in, he's on down. Why don't you fucking run down the road? I'm sorry, that's such a bad joke. Well, it's too fucking long Who the fuck pitch to redo that thing? I don't even get it. Why do you put it out now? That's not a holiday movie

Why don't they just keep them like the old ones? Do you know I'm I'm taping Rudolph the red nose rock?ul, bo bo, Rudolph the Red Nose Rain, dear, that classic one from, well, what a back in the fucking day. I'm going to watch it, you know, Tuesday night. It comes on. Get myself into the fucking holiday spirit. I can't have the TV on do a podcast because I'm just keep talking about you guys want to watch TV with me. I just saw this new Ray Liyota,

Jennifer Lopez movie or TV show. I don't know what it was, it was just coming out. I thought it was gonna be one of those commercials where Ray Liyota just stares at somebody cause they're not drinking vodka. I just want the other person to be like, right, no, I mean, I'm sorry, I love fucking good fellows, but this is my drink.

What's going on with you, man? What's with the fucking looks? Relax. I get it. You can kick the shit out of me. You know, he's just laughing at their fucking manhood. He's disgusted with them. He's disgusted. It's actually an amazing piece of acting because he never says anything. He just fucking looks at him. You just see the generational gap. You can just see him going. Your entire generation is a bunch of fucking posses. Just with one fuck, he just gives him that one fucking look and next thing.

Of course, they got the guy sitting over there with like an umbrella drink. I don't think I've ever sat in a bar and anybody's ever fucking looked at me because of what I was drinking. I guess I've gotten shit for it. You know, but that was just back when I lived in the Boston area. Oh, come on, you fucking Mary. Do a shot. Um, God, I'm driving to.

We're all driving. Don't hear us making fucking excuses. Um, gone driving to we're all driving don't you just make an excuse this uh... anyway so you know in that that fucking horrific sunday night football song comes on you know the little cutie pie there and glitter outfit because she's in show this right to get some glitter on it's all this special affection

uh... i don't know if it's me or what. Isn't that song just a complete fucking ripoff of Joan Jets? I hate myself for loving you. When they get to the whole fucking, you know, I love myself for watching football. Is that how it goes? I'd say, I don't know what they say. I always fast forward through it. I've never liked that song. I liked it back when it was an orchestra. You know, when you had somebody like John Williams, you had some great composer come up with a piece of music that could actually move you emotionally. And then somewhere along the line, they went blame Hank Williams Jr.

it's not his fault, okay, his dad obviously banged somebody who had no musical talent whatsoever and so the best Hank Williams Jr. could ever be is half Hank Williams senior, but you know sometimes you get a little more, you know, you get a little more one than the other. So rather than him singing, what the fuck did Hank Williams sing? You're cheating hard, my loam some truck, I don't know what the fuck he's saying, but all I know is that guy like drank himself to death but he was only like wow I gotta look this up. How fucking old was that guy? That guy looks like he's fucking 60 He drank himself to death the way I can look this I'm sorry. I'm sorry

You know, this is the kind of this is what happens is what happens when you fucking just run your goddamn mouth Hank Williams Hank Williams Hank that he was he was the original Frank the tank, but he was Hank 1923 to 1953 he was fucking 30 years old You know, he that's a you know as sad as that is that is a hell of an accomplishment to drink yourself to death by 30 I Mean anybody can owe D. I mean that yeah,. But I mean, to literally, to put in the fucking hours that the amount of hours that it takes to drink yourself to death in only 30 years. I mean, you got to figure that guy didn't have his first shot of booze. Well, say, I'll even give,

I'll get say 13. He had his first fucking drink of booze and Within 17 years Guys fucking dead That's amazing. I remember a long time ago watching some fucking show or something and was saying the body was actually designed to live 150 years Optimal conditions, you know, basically if they treated you like a fucking classic car that had been had a body off Restoration, and they just sort of floated you around and never drove you treated you like a fucking classic car, they'd been at a body off restoration. They just sort of floated you around and never drove you or anything like that, right? Like you could live, you know, breathing, perfect air, eating perfectly and all that you'd live for 150 years.

Which that made sense to me because every time when those people used to come and give the cancer talks about cigarettes and be like, every time you smoke a cigarette, you take five minutes off of your life. There's twenty cigarettes in a pack so that's a wide at a hundred minutes. So you just took almost two hours of your life away. So I was sitting there, you know, doing my dumb math going, well, Jesus Christ, you'd be fucking dead by the time you're 30 because I was counting down from like 80 I guess they're counting down from 150 Well, maybe they're just lying and they're trying to scare the shit out of you And they don't think some freckled cut in the crowd is gonna try to actually do some math. I don't know All I'm saying Is you got to give it up to Hank Williams, you know?

Draken himself to death, you know, you know, the first third, the first third is cirrhosis as fucking fun. After a while it's not fun anymore, but you know, a lot of things aren't fun after a while. You know, being a parent isn't fun after a while. You see it on their faces. Once they get past the little bundle of joy, once he's done saying cute things, once they're done being cute you know like they

step on an ant and they say hey hey what I'm going I dead it I dead he like oh did you say I this she just said I dead it rather than I killed it oh that's adorable right the little things kids say once they get past that and they start rolling their fucking eyes at you, you know, you just like, I'm fucking over this shit. That's right. Parenting is like cirrhosis of the liver. Look at Bob Cauchy's with this fucking smart looking coat and his goddamn scarf. Guy always looks sharp.

Gotta give it up to him. My only person who winced when they talked about what was wrong with Peyton Manning's foot, planter, fisher, right? Which I've actually had, um, from improper technique, playing drums. I didn't know how to get, I was trying to do those John Bonham triplet fucking things from good times, bad times. And I think I was just using my big toe to try to make it happen. So I was arching my foot.

I don't know what the fuck happened. I woke up the next day. I thought someone was stabbing me in the foot. But, Peyton, actually, it's basically this, I don't even know what it is. I had it. I don't even know what the fuck it is. I thought it was a tendon that runs along the archery of foot.

I don't know what it, after I saw the drawing, then I didn't know what the fuck it was. But it goes from your heel to like like where you get your bunion there. You know, if you get hammer toes, stop. Hammer toes, do, do, do, do, if you get hammer toes, right? That part that sticks out. Anyways, the partner, the heel, they say, is tearing away from the bone. The fuck. I'm done. I am fucking done at that point. Am I part of my body is tearing away from the bone? I just stopped doing stand-up. If my fucking arm from leaning on the mic is something in my elbow started

tearing, that would just be a podcaster. That would be it. My voice would crack. I would cry. So, it looks like we're going to be losing paint manning and Kobe Bryant in the same fucking year Two monsters of the game. You guys see Kobe's poem my wife read it to me I actually even as a Celtics fan. I was a little sad Then I also had to chuckle that he wrote this whole poem this whole ode to basketball and it not once did he ever mentioned coaches or teammates and I was kind of thinking like, you know what what? That's why he never passed the ball did he? He's still one of the greats but Jesus Christ. How about a shout out to fucking shack at least his ass you know? Remember that? How does my ass taste? I'm sorry.

Let's get back on track here. What was I talking about? I was talking about plantar fisheritis. No, I was talking about how the hook of that Thursday night fucking song, the Sunday night football song, they got to get you into it, right? Because you're not into football ever, at least. So they got to have some lady come out in a little sparkly dress throw a couple of looks to the camera like you know what I'd blow you if you were

here I'd fucking blow you she got to give you those looks Thursday night football is his my tits right they do that can't break free of the things that you do it's the same fucking song and for life for me, you know, I think Joan Jett oughta, she oughta go after the fucking NFL. Why not? They went after Tom Brady. Why can't they go after the fucking Joan Jett? Do you know, I got in a big argument with this fucking friend of mine, right? Who right now? I think he's a kind, no, I don't, but he just was, you know, he was being a, he was being a, what I've never run into, a whiny giant fan. New York giant fan.

I love giant fans. They never bitched. They never whine. They just fucking beat my team. I got to respect that. He was fucking, he was still whining about the giants losing to the Patriots two weeks ago. It's like, dude, you went two and a, and the fucking super balls against us. Why don't you give a fuck about a game in November?

You know who won that game we actually won your game because when you got good to ball It's anyway, they won your catch. We caught it. Yeah, I agree with you. I Thought that's Brian caught that fucking ball I don't understand what you got to fucking do these days for them to call it a catch. It's a weird fucking rule So he started going in on how the Patriots cheat and I'll let fucking whiny horse shit. And he tried to say that the Patriots win. This is the best one I've heard so far. The Patriots win 90% of coin tosses, which I think that's the number I always pull out of my ass when I want to win an argument. That's the percentage.

I always go with 90%. Look, 90% of people out there, we're fairly fucking blue, but blue, right? So he tried to pull out of my ass when I want to win an argument. That's the percentage. I always go with 90%. Look, 90% of people out there, we're fairly fucking blue, blue, blue, right? So he tried to tell me that 90% of the fucking time, we win the coitus. It's like, okay, so what are we doing there? Are we somehow sneaking a fucking different quarter

in there? It's just unfuckin', and he continued on with the whole, the Patriots watched the Rams, final fucking walkthrough before the Super Bowl, even though ESPN detracted it and said that was a complete horse shit lie. Of course, they detracted it at 12.30 in the morning.

You know, they talked about it for five years at nine o'clock in the morning on Sports Center, and then when they find out that they were perpetuating a lie, they then, oh, oh, sorry about that. It's fucking 1230. So I don't know. I finally got him to come around. I finally got him to come around.

It's just like, look, okay, if you want to see the guilty of gamesmanship, absolutely. Do they fucking, you know, try to get away with shit if they can get away with it. Yeah, but so does everybody. They just don't fucking win all the super balls. You know, it's unfuckin' believable. What other teams have done and there's like no fucking problem. Like I'll tell you right now that fucking, you guys see that, that redskins play where Kurt Cousins, they hiked the ball and the ball flew out of his fucking hands and he he asked the ref where did you get this ball because he thought there was something slick on it

and they got it from your own sideline if that happened during a patriots game in the other quarterback said that we would have lost the draft pick somehow they would have fucking but is it possible to maybe they they graced the fucking but they had somebody sneak over dressed like a red skin and greased up the balls. You know what I mean? I've gone through this a zillion fucking times, but you know, it's unbelievable that that piece of shit,

Jim Urse and that piece of shit fucking, I can't even remember his name. and that piece of shit fucking, I can't even remember his name. Man Eric Manjini have effectively tarred and feathered the Patriots that will be brought up for them for the rest of fucking time. Air pressure and stealing signs is what they're fucking guilty of, right? That's it. These other teams have to fucking defense tested positive for steroids. They're building stadiums that make their fucking fan base sound loud. It's fucking hilarious. Oh, that's that pumping fucking crowd noise in. And it's fine. It's fine. Don't worry about

it. Don't worry about it. Jesus fucking Christ. We still signs for one fucking game one game. It was illegal and all that's all they did it They did it every game Unreal I'll have to have that debate for the rest of time It was only illegal for that one game that we did it and got caught if we did it the year before the year before it wasn't Fucking illegal Then all you stupid cuts out there who think all you have to do is just film the other coach and then you know what they're gonna do, you dumb fuck, you gotta, you'd have to take that

and line it up with their plays, watch it at half time and then try to memorize as much as you can. If you're lucky, maybe on two plays, you know what the fuck they're doing. You know what I mean? I mean, the team sit there and they watch game film every fucking week looking at their formations and all of that shit. How is that legal?

You couldn't do that back in the fucking thirties, right? Yeah, fuckin' just sittin' if, I guess you could if you get what camera. Some guy in those fucking jockey pants and just sit there rolling the film. How is watching game film legal? You're considered then you're a good student. But if you try to steal their signs, then you're a cunt. I don't get it. I don't get it. But I'm never going to defend that the Patriots don't try to fucking bend the rules in their favor. But I won't go so far as to say that everybody else in the league doesn't also fucking do it. This whole fucking horse, you know what they sound like? They sound like Republicans when they

talk about America, when they go, America was founded on. Everybody's got a shot and they completely ignored genocide and slavery, right? That's what other football fans sound like to me when they try to act like we're the only ones who fucking dick around with the rules. Oh, Jesus Christ, he just landed on Brady. The Brady rule in effect. Personal foul hitting Tom Brady. I love that man. He's got to keep a little bit 15 yards first down I love it I love it I love that's called the Brady rule you know even it's the it's the money rule they call it the Brady rule that actually suggests that the NFL on some fucking level gives a fuck about Tom Brady they don't they give a fuck about the

money he makes you know what I mean? It's like fucking Lance Armstrong all right After all the bullshit after he gets fucking caught that everybody gets on the high horse that's disgusting That's not what the tour de France is about and all that fucking shit. Let me ask you this all those cuts that made all of that Fucking money when he met him when he won seven in a row and people who didn't give a fuck about bike racing, tune didn't watch and they could charge more money for advertising. Okay, during that whole time, did they

give the money back all the fucking money they made, all those owners that made all that money off all those fucking guys do in steroids, you know, hitting the ball over the fucking god, damn freeway, Made all that money. Oh, we're gonna clean up the game. Oh, yeah, you're gonna give away all that dirty money you made. You're fucking guns. Like you didn't know they were doing Reids.

That's your team. If you managed an Applebee's and half of your staff was on steroids. You wouldn't fucking notice? At some point, when you walk in, when you're going in to go get a fresh sack of fucking potatoes, you wouldn't walk in on somebody injecting somebody else in the fucking buttocks. Just out of just being there every fucking day, you know what was going on. I never tell you that time when I used to work at that fucking, uh, is holding all fucking day and they let it go.

Brady Dink, there's an interception, it drops the ball. Look foul, you motherfucker. We got away with holding on that one. Jesus Christ. Anyways, I used to work in this fucking... I used to work in this restaurant. It was called the Sable Cafe in Kerry, North Carolina. Back in like 87, 88. Why didn't I just say that now I'm gonna say, oh this

fucking horrific shit about it was a fun job and there was some activities that were going on in the back room because it was almost 30 years ago. Anyway, so I worked in this fucking place and I used to work on a mesquite grill and I had this big chef hat like I knew what the fuck I was doing and The place was gradually going out of business One of the managers had a major cocaine program, but a lot of people didn't it was the 80s It wasn't really it was just becoming a problem You know that's right around was cocaine the big lie You know, I mean so this guy used to steal from the registry to do a little fucking toot right and you know

You know to fucking the guy, the guy fucking running shit is on drugs. And I mean, just trickles. Damn, I got a certain example. So, you know, I remember, I used to work like the fucking dinner shift one night. And it's just fancy fucking restaurant. And by fancy, I mean, there's carpeting, this cloth napkins, and they had a giant fish tank. All right, that was fancy for fucking Kerry North Carolina. You know, I was fucking assholes. Always giving me shit for being a Yankee. You know, in fact, Kerry back then stood for concentrated area of relocated Yankees.

That's what he's saying. Like, you know, you know, you know, Kerry stands for, you know, that stands for. Nobody, what is it? It stands for concentrated area relocated. I fucking hate the draw play you cunts has the draw play ever. It's never fucking worked. The draw play, okay, it must have worked at some point. They keep running the fucking thing.

I think that's when you've just decided that you're gonna punt. And be like, all right, you know what, let's just not give the ball over right here. Let's just, you know, just wait a second. It never, it never fucking works. It's weird how the draw play doesn't work, but somebody fucking basically doing the same thing, but if they go out for a pass, it always works. Or it works more times than not, you know what I mean? Like sort of the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thing, but if they go out for a pass, it always works. Or it works more times than not. You know what I mean?

Like sort of the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, with you with all the interest we got. I think if we would play Carolina Panthers right now The only reason we if we would win would be we would just out coach him out of fucking experience But I think Carolina looks like they look like world beaters to me I don't know how fucked up is it that the redskins are fucking five in six and they're in first place You know what I mean like I think seven and nine could win that division. You know, I'll tell you what's going to be brutal. As watching the New York media drive Tom Kaplan out of town, that's going to be fucking unreal. Like he does not a coach. You know, it's not his problem that one of his best defensive players maimed himself. You know what I mean? That whole fucking thing he had to deal with.

I mean, I don't know. I don't I mean, the fucking guys are winner, man. He came to BC and immediately turned it around after the the the Doug Flutey hangover. All of a sudden, we became we were winners again. Right? After Bicknell left, he went to Jacksonville. He almost got the Jacksonville Jaguars to the fucking Super Bowl. He fucking goes to the goddamn New York Giants They went to Super Bowl's beating the undefeated Patriots 18 and 0 Guy has one fucking bad I guarantee it. They're gonna fucking stay gonna send him out of town Yes, you know one of my buddies thinks this because of his wind burn face I've never seen a guy who needs

fucking lotion more in my life. Like, I think that that's his next move before he, if he gets run out of town, you know, and he just needs a break from football, they should do that thing, you know, like if you go and bald and they just go, eh, not only the fucking douchebag in the commercial,'m also a client right he should do that with like fucking uh... whatever face lotion whatever the fuck you call whatever how do you get that red shit off of his he's got i don't believe the guys he's got windburn in like september it's like it's like he always looks like he just got done competing in like america's cup

you know what i mean at least come out with a little nxema on your nose, right? I don't you guys are thinking like Bill, you're just running your fucking app here. How about a break? I haven't gotten the advertising or the fucking, the questions yet for this week. So I'm just fucking filibuster in here trying to get through

this shit. Hey, did I, did I mention that I went, oh, I told you guys on Thursday, I went to the, the King's Black Hawk game. And on what, what a, the highest level hockey I've seen in so long, it was unreal. Like the whole first period, it just seemed like they were failing each other out to see what they were going to do.

And just the whole fucking thing, every fucking line, every defensive unit defensive unit their goal tenders all of that shit. It just it was incredible The way that they played you know there was there was only two penalties the whole there was two penalties in the first period that was it Chicago went up to nothing and then the King scored two and the third and then came back and won an overtime By the way three on three even if you fucking hate hockey, there's nothing to hate about three on three hockey and overtime. It's fucking unbelievable. Just end to end action. Every five seconds it seemed like you were seeing a two on one or a breakaway.

And the lovely knee everybody, looking you linger in over there. I actually heard Al Michaels tonight talk about the three on three hockey. Are you leaving? Yeah. Are you gonna come here? Are you gonna go see Creed? Yeah. Nia's like one of the only black people ever into that band.

No. Yeah. Don't you like them? What do they think about? Jesus Christ on the bros and in, he got stabbed inside. Oh, God. No, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not stabbed inside. Oh, God. No, not not create the band. What did Creed think? Creed the movie. I don't know. If you can sing a Creed song, I'll take you out for a nice creep. Okay. Can you take me higher? Oh, that's right. That wasn't bad. Can you take where where where I don't know what he says. Yeah. Where did I hear it?

I heard it. Is that like power rock? Is that considered power rock? Those kind of bands were like the lead singer. It's just like like just like this. Really anytime they say power associated with music there's no power in it. Okay. Come here. Come here. Says who says you? Yes. It's me in my dumb opinion. Oh, you are fucking over me today. Are they playing in Boston? The Patriots? No, they're playing in Denver. It always rains. Look. No, I'm really, it's no, it's sorry. Yes, I'm going to go see Creed. Are you coming? Are you going to be done? I don't have the advertising of the question, yet. So no. Look at Cleo. Look how cute she is. She's actually exhausted by took her on a long hike today.

Yeah, I think we definitely need to start feeding her more, because you exercise her like, so you're just like an athlete. Yeah, because she didn't put on fucking 10 pounds. I did. Yeah, me too. You know what I'm going to try to do in December? What's that, honey? Oh, God. I piss Nia off today. I got to tell the story. I got this Nia. Nia hates when I make fart noises like if I'm singing and I don't know I just go if I just do that I hate when people do that in general it's so I don't like it because I don't like bathroom

toilet humor like I just I think it's so gross all right so she hates it so of course what am I gonna do so I'm singing along to the radio and I just keep making fart noises and the matter she gets the funnier it is to me. And I keep thinking, don't do this because we had a wonderful afternoon. This is going to ruin it. And I just, it was so much fun. I had to keep doing it. Yeah.

And you kept doing it while it's not. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I have to go to movies. No. You know, there's something wrong with the, if you don't think of fart noise is funny. I can see if I actually farted and you had a deal with the death that came out of me, right? Oh, no. Nothing is wrong with me. You have the maturity of a 12-year-old, and it's like you can't just let someone enjoy their day without doing something irritating. It's true. You like to irritate people, especially me, admit it. Admit it. I have no idea what you're talking about. I just wanted to take my lovely wife out to lunch. You did take my lunch. It was very nice. It was great. Okay. I don't want to stay's such a problem with that. You know what? I will make an effort to stop doing it

Can you take me higher? Your old person has to say I'll make an effort not to make fart noises like what seriously? I'm a fucking clown That's what I do for a living. What do you want from me? Not to make fart noises. You're better than that Bill that Bill how fuck you with your first psychology I'm not know how much you hate that say you're better than that it's horrific all right I'm going hey if you notice the Broncos quarterback is like eight feet tall. Are you talking to me? Yeah. Why would I? Okay. Well, you can notice if somebody's tall, can you not weird how fucking tall he is. I don't know what's one you're referring to. They all I want to see him ride in a tank like

Michael do caucus just to see how much of his torso comes out of that fucking hole. Remember when he did that, you were too young when they when he ran for president, he was running for president, he was running for president. He was doing fine and then he drove a tank. We didn't drive a tank. They just had him stick his fucking head out. The tank. I remember when he was running, even though I was young, and I remember his wife drank

like rubbing alcohol. Didn't she? Kitty. Kitty. Oh, yeah. Kitty, too cocky. Yeah. Top three dumbest reasons I ever saw anybody not be able to run for president or lose it is do caucus sticking his head out that fucking manhole.

And that's what it looked like. It was this it was this fucking eyebrows. That's that's what screwed up. Gary Hart getting fucking in trouble for banging his that fucking broad on the boat. I mean, that's what you get a boat for right All right, you're losing me. I'm losing you and then third was when Howard Dean went And then everybody was just like I fuck that guy. He got a little excited. he was like a wrestler I thought that was weird we're gonna go to karaoke we're gonna go to Mrs. Debbie we're gonna go to say yeah he was like

alright I'm leaving bye it was an unfortunate it was an unfortunate moment hey and enjoy the movie I wish I was going to go see it well you know what time it is I actually have the information do you mean literally what time it is you say and then like a black way like you know what time it is. Jesus, she hates me.

All right, that's the first half of the podcast. I have to wait for the advertising and all that shit. So it's not going to mean shit to you. I'm just going to hit pause and when I come back I'm going to read a little bit of advertising. It's 14 to 7. The 9 foot quarterback drops back, he throws it down and that's the first step for the Broncos. Jesus Christ look at the size of them. It's not even any snow on the top of his helmet. I mean, he's above the storeclubs. Sorry. What's his name? Osweiler? Do you know, Nia took me to this fucking German bar and I had the best goddamn fucking brats and I got one of those giant beer stands like a fucking asshole. But whatever, it starts tomorrow, man. I got to turn this shit around. I actually I didn't lose the weight. Nice fucking play.

I didn't I didn't I didn't lose the way that I wanted to lose, but I just I stayed the same, which is pretty good for fucking Thanksgiving week. I still worked out every day, but you know, I made a bunch of pies. I had to eat them, you know, what the fuck was I supposed to do? So anyways, what I want to do is six days a week, I'm actually going to go to the gym and I'm going to get on that fucking elliptical for an hour. I'm going to do it six days a week throughout December. That's the promise that I'm making to myself. And as you can tell by the tone of my voice, I'm not even remotely thrilled by it.

But I refuse to go right back to the fucking fat ass, can't fucking wait that I was. The pies are done. Most of our Thanksgiving food is done so I can go back to my my thrilling way of eating healthy. I can't believe I fucking do. Oh, I can't believe I did this to myself again. You know what the one good thing I do have is I haven't had a cigar in 15 days.

That's pretty good. So I want to be that guy who fucking, you know, wants to twice a month. I'll have a cigar. It'll be a special moment, you know what I mean? Oh God, I just pictured Caitlyn Jenner in a bubble bath. My wife showed me that fucking picture and I freaked out. I wasn't ready for it, you know, just showed it. I was just, oh, and he missed a fucking field goal. Yes! Woo!

There you go. Yeah, you stupid, MoVember mustache. We know people are dying of cancercees. You're fucking shaved that off. Anyways, I'm just literally stalling waiting for this shit to fucking come in here. All right, I gotta let me hit pause here. I'm gonna hit pause and I'm gonna fucking find out where where where I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. And now when I come back you guys are gonna get to listen to me read out loud. All right. All right by the magic Now with the magic of the pause button I'm back like a half hour later

Still 14 to 7 to be getting out the fourth quarter But now it's time for me to read out loud with that up, but me undies. And I am out of fucking, oh, for fuck's sake, tackle the guy. Jesus Christ. Oh, God, damn it. This fucking parody. Well, I know we got a lot of injuries in shit, but Jesus Christ is fucking parodies killing me. They're killing me. Why are you that killing me? So the other night I went to a bar surprise surprise after After the the King's black hawks game I Took the subway back. I love taking the subway out here You know what I mean? And it's like a real subway now like there's all kinds of

Fuckin vandalism on it and shit. I remember you know when I first moved out here in 2007 you went down there. It was just like You went on that subway and it's like wow, this is what The world would look like if there was a like a massive plague. Yeah, yeah Let him turn the corner and get it first down and it touched down. There you go. Great defense guys way to go Yeah, fucking crazy. Um anyways, I was thinking like this is must be what the world's going to be like after a giant plague hits, right? And then we start all over again, and we still know how to do shit, right? We still have some reason the scientists fucking survive.

Oh, fuck. So, my other scientist survived. That would be the ultimate thing. If the scientist survived, so you like, you had the same amount of people on the planet that existed, you know, when we were just running around in caves and shit. But you have all that new technology, then that would be perfect, right? You have any ditch diggers too. We fucks gonna plow the street and pave the roads. Come on, miss the extra point.

You fucking cunt 21 to 14. Am I the only Patriots fan that actually think it's a good thing to maybe lose a game and go into the playoffs and let the Panthers be undefeated? Oh, yeah, they'll always, I'm just thinking, you know, get a little less attention. Just one year I'd love to be treated like the Indianapolis Colts. You know what I mean?

Well, your owner can literally be abusing drugs and fucking around with everyone, you know, and nobody gives a shit. Haha, he tremendous. Just living that quiet time out there. Wouldn't that be nice? Well, I think it would be you know I think it'd be nice if I could get some fucking questions over here. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do with myself Well, what am I up to here?

45 fucking minutes of me running my app and trying to read out loud. This is getting ridiculous You guys want to listen to me send a text? This is pathetic. You know, I'm gonna start my fucking Christmas shopping. Oh, I know what I'm gonna Tice all my fucking came back on the I know I'm all over the place. Fuck you. It's how my brain works So I'm on the fucking subway. I get off and I meet Jay-La head at this fucking bar And it's just one of these cool fucking bars They're not a lot of people know about but enough people know about that it stays open You could fucking chill out in there, man. You can have a good time and it was perfect

It was a perfect old man fucking bar I apologize for yawning if I'm making you tired at work um And everything's going good and then out of nowhere This cool bar they start having karaoke and all these fucking nerds are going up there and just going Just going full out singing horrific Singing dancing just absolutely awful just a horrible display of communication was going on and it was annoying the shit out of me because I just wanted to be in a quiet

place drinking why am I yawning all the place drinking a fucking you know a bear or something I just want to be a nice quiet fucking place right and The fucking Halfway through them singing and dancing everything I actually fucking tap Laud head and I go I go look at him Look at him Laud look at him. I go, that's what's heckling you on Twitter right now. Look at him trying to dance. Look at these fucking animals trying to sing. Look at him. These are the people that blog. These are the people that get offended. Oh, look at colors. What then, male that male Michaels both rock and the scarves.

I never understand why they have the scar. Are they inside or are they outside? They always make them look like they got the window open. Do I need to take a nap? What the fuck just happened? You know what? I'm getting sleepy waiting for these fucking reads to come over here. You know, I'm interviewing Pete Corielli this week for the Thursday afternoon

just before Friday Monday morning podcast where I check in on you. And he has a new special out on showtime, I believe. This is one of my favorite comics that not enough people know about. Great storyteller. And I've known him, I've known this guy for 20 fucking years back when we used to work the New York comedy club together, late night spots and all that. Who the fuck is that guy Brady keeps throwing to? The anti-Gronk. Who is that guy?

Oh, and we get a pass interference. Here comes our first loss of the year. Oh, what the fuck are you going to do? Anyways, you know what, I'm going to pause again. I'm going to wait for these things. I swear to God. This is the most fucked up podcast I've ever done I'm gonna wait for these these I'm coming back reading people We're gonna prepare you right now

All right, I'll be back. Well, you know with the technology. I'll be back in a second. All right All right, I'm back. I don't know if that's probably where did I say I'll write them back because I didn't seem like I left with the fucking editing right Shut up bill. We get it. You hit pause I can't find I don't my reads aren't coming through this week So I'm just gonna fucking pick some shit out here as I go from old email Somebody sent me something now because I mentioned that I went to Chipotle And they had all these signs in the wall about how hey, we don't put any shit in our food, which made me fucking weird it out like, well, you shouldn't. But I guess so many people do, I don't know.

So I thought, you know, made them seem shady to me, right? By the way, it's 2117 at this point in my world. Oh, for fuck's sake, you got to catch that. It's behind them, though. Anyways, yeah, it says, hey, Bill, just want to drop your line about Chipotle. say she got to catch that is behind them though uh... anyways yeah it says a bill just want to drop you a line about chipotle which you mentioned on Thursday's podcast uh... check out this recent article in a late times

chipotle is being harassed by a bogus consumer watchdog group that is actually funded by restaurant alcohol tobacco and energy companies they're spending millions of dollars harassing companies that do or say anything which goes against the interest of their clients chipotle stance against anti-biotics and meat has apparently incurred their wrath uh... this firm is engaged in a very public ad campaign smearing chipotle so i think problem this think this probably has something to do with

all the signs you saw in chipotle the other day touting their product and what they do differently Thanks for the podcast go fuck yourself. So I clicked on the link there and And it says why is a nonprofit shield for business interest attacking Chipotle? Says the US Department of Health and Humane human services Says that if you're being pushed around by a bully walk away and stay away don't fight back chipotle has taken this message to heart evidently that i'd fight these guys christian or the spokesman for the burrito chain told me chipotle has no plans

to tangle with the food industry front group that has run a series of ads critical of the company's health claims uh... the guy says uh... christis is a smear campaign but we've chosen to take the high road position most recent at appeared last week in the new york post it said chipotle is scaring the public and tricking people into thinking the change meet is healthier because it's quote antibiotic free blah blah blah so allegedly this is just some this is a group that's pretending to be a watchdog group, but it's actually

You know a spokesman for probably corporations that put antibiotics in their fucking food And all of this other shit Jesus Tom Brady is just acting like a fucking lunatic When are they gonna throw a flag on the guy? I know he's got seniority, but even as a patriots fan. What is he? Yeah, he's, you know, he's fucking flipping out. Yeah, he's losing his cool. Look at that. Tommy, Tommy, get the fuck out of here. Okay, you're the face of the goddamn leak. We can't give you a fucking. Gronk seems frustrated. Oh, what the Broncos cheating? God, it's all right. That's okay. Are they doing little fucking underhanded things to get an advantage? That's okay. You're in Denver. It's fine. It's fine. No cheating. No underhanded shit there. Tom Brady throwing. what the fuck? That boy, it doesn't seem like it's our night now, it does it.

2117, now it's fourth and 15, I don't like it, I'm already drinking, already got a beer here. So anyways, these fucking guys, I guess, I don't understand how these groups are legal, I guess they've been around for years where you can put together a fake group, like Rick Burman, executive director of the Center acknowledged that the organization is funded by part by food and beverages company.

He declined to name any of the contributors and the guy goes, who doesn't matter, who pays as long as what I'm saying is truthful and I'm telling the truth. What a crock of shit. You know what? I guess, who knows? I don't, I don't, I know what to believe now. I guess now I'll go to fucking Chipotle. I don't fucking know. What, what is it? I believe, I mean, now if you're going to have fucking, you know what I understand? This genetically altered salmon now. Like why, like, why weren't we allowed

to vote on that? Why don't they put that to the people? Why is that the fucking center? Oh, that's right, because they got them all paid off, right? Now it works. Jesus Christ, do I have to hit pause again? I do, I gotta find another letter. This is like fucking, this is like what podcasting in the 1800s must have been like, right? I got a bad feeling we're gonna lose this fucking game.

Why built to the Patriots help you pay your bills? Oh, but I mean, you know. They're the football team in my city. Be back in a minute. All right, so I guess there's gonna be no reads this week. I don't know what the fuck can tell you. I don't know where the fuck they are, but I'm not waiting around all night.

All right, there's four minutes left. We hand up the ball and they fucking tackle us again right at the line of scrimmage. So my drum teacher got me into tears for fears this week. I couldn't stand them in the 80s. I just hated the guy's face, you know? I hated the way he sort of launched his face at the fucking camera as he sang. Welcome to my world. It's the one. Rock and Rina. Rory. Nothing. Oh, that.

Right. And I just couldn't get past their fucking face. So first down. So he fucking 3.5 minutes left. Come on Patriots, hang in there, get a full conveyor roll over there. That's the one to help us out. Why I feel good, put out some by fucking seven points. I like it. So anyways, um, he goes listen to this tears for fears. I was like, oh my god, tears for fear. Everybody wants to rule the world. And you know, many times I've heard that fucking song.

Like now I don't mind tears for fears, because it reminds me of the 80s when I was young, had a full head of hair, my whole life in front of me. You know, my pants were all puffy. I was lifting weights every day, but only the upper body. The way you're supposed to, oh no, to grunk just get hurt. He took it. Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no. Oh, fuck. Dude, everybody who's even remotely good in the team is heart now. Except Brady. I shouldn't have just said that. Oh, Jesus. Oh, they just went to commercial. Just went black.

Ah, fuck. Anyways. So he says, listen to this tears for fears. You know, everybody wants to rule the world and I'll make it the fuck. You know, so I'm listening to it. For years, I never heard what was going on with the hi hat. You know? The guys playing triplets, but he's playing them in groups of two. He accents every other one. Listen to it.

I always say, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, I thought it was that. I didn't know like the hi hat was going, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah. My only drummers understand what I'm talking about, right? One, and uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, It's kind of like, uh, the way you,

when you first learn how to jerk off, like, you know, you just try, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, It's the same fucking thing, except you do it on the high up. But anyway, there's a point in the story that maybe you guys can relate to this most fucked up podcast. That I've done is he then played this song about the ladies, it's some fucking song about women set them free

and squit fucking around with them or whatever the hell it is. Where is it? I downloaded this song, but this is sick ass, fucking fill towards the end of the song and my drum teacher showed it to me, you know, goes over the bar line, comes out on the end of the song and My drum teacher showed it to me, you know goes over the bar line comes out on the end of one It's fucking unreal and who is it? Who is it on drums fill Collins?

And I go you got to be kidding me people on my podcast are shit non-fill Collins Talking about you know how we sucks This I look at grunkies down. I fuck this is bad. They keep saying how we sucks and all that you know how he sucks this out look at gronkeys down I fuck this is bad they keep saying how he sucks and all that you know and he was going you know we talk about this guy's a fucking monster here the shitty didn't uh... was it brand X oh no you hit right in the fucking knee all of that type of stuff. Oh God, that's bad. Guys, I'm sorry I'm watching.

I'll never do this again. This is like fucking ridiculous that I'm doing this at the same time. But anyways, I'm covering my ass because I don't know if fucking see his leg knee wiggle like that again. This is why people hate filcons. All right. It's because they don't take the time to act like this is a guy. He's such a fucking talent that he actually, like he could go to Berkeley, play drums.

I mean, I know he's had health problems, but at the height of his popularity, at the height of his skills, I should say, before he he got hurt like that guy could fucking force hell looking a grunk before his health got fucked up. I'm sorry guys. This fucking guy would have like musicians at Berkeley with their jaws on the fucking ground. All right and they're into all his prog rock shit but then he was so good he could actually fucking write songs that made 14 year old girls dance around like Molly Ringwald and breakfast club. And the problem is, is your average jackass, classy Bronco fans clapping right there, class act right there. The fucking your average jackass isn't going to listen to the prog rock stuff. So all they're going to listen to is Sosudo and all that. I remember in the 80s, I fucking hated Phil Collins.

Mid 80s, I couldn't stand the guy. And then when I started playing drums and I started paying attention to who was drumming on what? I was like, well, I mean, this guy drummed on the tears for fear thing. He drums for this in the 80s, Robert Plant, Eric Clapton. When Zeppelin got together, he played with them. If he really sucked, I don't think that they would be bringing this guy along. So I would say listen to some of his older shit. That's all I'm saying. You know what, I'm gonna put a clip up of him just fucking playing drums.

And people probably still say that he sucks, but I think he's the shit. But anyways, can I bail now guys? Can I just say that that's the podcast? I'm sorry, I didn't have the fucking materials I needed, but I got an early date tomorrow. I'm starting to get ready to hype in the efforts for family by the way, getting great feedback on that.

And I just wish it would come out already and we got a premiere coming up out here in LA which I'm really excited and nervous about. This is weird feeling when you watch something that you did and it's being shown on a screen and you can't fix it and it's just going to be played. It freaks me to fuck out because you can't fix it and it's just going to be played. It freaks me to fuck out because I'm used to performing live. And if it's going shitty, I can speed up, I can slow down. I can at least try to make some adjustments. But like if you're in something and it's not working with the crowd,

you just got to sit there and write it out. And it's a helpless feeling. So I'm excited about that night, but I'm also nervous. But I'm going to be coming back east to do some press. And then I come out here and I do a few more than I go to the premiere, but once again, it comes out December 18th. Also, as I mentioned, thank you to everybody who went and bought Felicia Collins new blues off of iTunes. What else they want to have? Oh, the great stocking stuffer for 2015 is tickets to the 4th annual Patrisonil comedy benefit that's going to be going down Tuesday January 26th. Did I say going down? I think I did.

You know why? Because I was trying to focus on what I was saying here and not the fact that we just had a punt the fucking ball away again Makes a great gift. It's obviously in remembrance of one of the great friends I've had in life and I was talking to his mom the other day and it reminded me of So fucking Patrice O'Neal story. He called me up one time, right? Yes, it's back when we were both still living at home with our parents. And I pick up the phone,

he's like, Bill, he goes, what are you doing? I was like, I'm not doing anything. He goes, yeah, let's go up to the square one mall. And I'm like all right where's that and he's like it's up near Saga something of the the cow loon and I Go all right well the fuck we I go what do we have to go up there for you as well, you know they I need to get a mop I go you need to mop he goes yeah to get a mop. I go, you need to get a mop. He goes, yeah. And granted this fucking mall is like, there's like three malls between where Patrice lived and where I lived. And he wants to go all the way out of his fucking way to go up to this goddamn mall.

And I like, well, what the fuck kind of mall? What kind of mop do they have at the square one mall? And he's like, he goes, one of them square one mall mobs mother fucking he starts flipping out on me so I go all right I just finally got it out of him he wanted to go up there because it was right when they first put cheese in the fucking crust of pizza and he wanted to try it out he and he started laughing when I finally got it out of you because I got to try it I got to see what it's all about So we drove up in the middle of the fucking day sitting in traffic on route one to buy a fucking mop and so he could try stuff crust pizza I don't know why I told you that I'm just trying to fill up the fucking hour here. Have I done an hour? Is it marcerfully over?

So you guys saw my kryptonite right here, man. If I don't fucking... If I don't have any questions, what do I do for that last half an hour? I have no idea. You know what I realize is how few people email me and give a fuck. Everything on there was just bullshit about... Was either spam, or it was shit about efforts for family, one of the other. You gotta do this, you gotta do that,

or it's just a bunch of horseshit. But I think I scroll through a couple pages, I could find some, I guess because you guys sent them to the other email and I didn't even know how to get to it. Oh, is that what you think, Bill? All right, that's been the Monday Morning podcast. This is a completely fucked up one.

I apologize. Profusely for this awful free podcast, all right? Before you guys start blogging about it and you tell me that you're offended. Anyways, hey, if anybody sees that movie Creed, let me know if it's good or not, because I actually wanna see that on two levels. One, I'm a big fan of Sylvester Stallone

and two, I need to get back in shape. So I figure whoever's playing Stallone's always in shape, even at 70, fucking 70, he's still in shape. Oh, how about the fucking Bruins, by the way, when in five in a row, is that what happened? I think they did. All right, that's the podcast, go fuck yourselves. Pea Corielli, this Thursday, and thank you once again

to Joe Rogan, for getting me on the Joe Rogan experience that helped me promote the FFIS for family. I really appreciate it. All right, go fuck yourselves. We'll talk to you next week. What's up everybody and welcome back to the anything better podcast show NFL and welcome back to the anything better podcast show NFL edition preview for week number 13 lucky 13 Dan marino 13 who else bill. Oh, as far as he's the best 13 I ever saw. Uh, who's a good 13 there. Alex Rodriguez. Alex Rodriguez was 13 and baseball. There's got to be another 13 and football, no? Oh, well, Odell Beckham Jr. is rookie. Odell Beckham Jr. was 13 trying to think who else? It's a college number. It's a college number more, I think, than a, right? For like every day player. superstitious. I don't know. Well, I'm talking about it.

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Download the app and it's all good. This is week number 13, which means Bill has the first pick this week. We've both been status quo. We've both been, we've all, the line is going here, man. I don't know. There's been no ups. There's no downs. It's been a weird week. I'll tell you that I can't be three. I wanted to save my life. I'm two and two every week. This week though, I went, I went one, two and one. Ask the only loose half of it. Because whatever fucking reason back in the day for some, I used to think that what a fuck don't take, why do they kick that extra point once you've won it over time? Why don't you score a touchdown and it's over,

but they always did. They always did until I had money on the game. And they didn't kick it. They would always kick it. I thought the best game of the week, though, man, that game was, dude, I was at no empathy. No empathy for me getting fucked on that extra point. No, I mean, of course there's some empathy.

It's it's it. I didn't feel it. I was at a party. My daughter did a friends giving. So, so, so, Fiya did a friends giving, but this year the family said they want all of the family and parents to come. So we go to this house. It's nice. And they're die hard Eagle fans. The dudes from Pennsylvania, great guy, great dad. And he literally said, he goes, guys, I'll be honest with you. If, uh, if this was a playoff game, you guys wouldn't be here. I, we, I just started laughing. He goes, but it's a big game. So he goes, we're, the game's going to be on. We're going to be watching the game. You know, if that's a problem, I don't know what to

tell you. I'm going to be running around going nuts. And not he wasn't. He was joking about that. But he was just watching and his kids. And has this little daughter and she would run in younger than Sophia and Lucas and she'd run in after every good eagle thing. It's high five of them and stuff like the whole family was in on it and it was awesome. But what a game, dude, and pretty nuts to think that the bills are done. Um, yeah, I mean, I don't know, dude, that whole thing this year, like the whole AFC East just went out the window. Yeah. Like, the whole thing was just going to be the bills and the jets with Aaron Rodgers.

Right now Aaron Rodgers is starting to practice, practice, I mean, it's too late for the jets, but I'm just saying, maybe they'll be a little bit of excitement. And then the dolphins, I don't know, I don't know. I'm not buying those guys. I know that they've been doing well. But everybody in our division, shit in the bed. Did you see that fucking idiot, trash and Tom Brady going, he played in an easy division. The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, easy super balls. How many in the guy had like no rings, but it's probably why he did it. He was like, you know, I'm gonna have a hot take. Yeah. I when he said that and he said to the two

and then he goes, no offense to Teddy bruski and Randy Moss and then he looks at Rex Ryan. He goes, Oh, and you too, I guess all three of you. He goes, that's the weakest at AFC East Division. And I was just like, whoa, and fucking Teddy bruski. Randy Moss took it as a joke. Randy Moss just smirked and they were just going like, what the fuck? Teddy Brusky. Randy Moss took it as a joke. Randy Moss just smirked and they were just going like, what the fuck, Rex Ryan took it the hardest. Who's the guy who said it? Alex Smith. Alex Smith, I mean, what did he have a do? Alex Smith, yeah, first round pick, what the, who was just 49ers? So he's never done shit and then he went to the chiefs, yeah. So that's kind of like something that like a sports writer would do where he doesn't have to prove himself on the field.

So that guy went out on the field and didn't win anything. And then he's going to trash this guy. That's he's just trying to he's just trying to be that guy. There's no way he thinks that shit. Dude, how about this going into week one? Everybody had, I know I thought these teams had a chance. Bill's gone. Bengals, Joe burrow gone jets with eruders gone. It's been a pretty while you're right. The AFCs taking hit and I agree with your. Wait for that. Fucking guy said we had an easy schedule every year for whatever reason. We always had to play the Steelers and we had to play the cults. They weren't even on a division. Just had to have Brady verse Peyton Manning, Brady versus Rathlassberger. Can I say something?

I don't believe in that. I don't believe in easy schedule. Everybody saw you're playing the Texans, it's an easy schedule. And then they got a rookie. And there's nothing to it. They used to say, there are patriots are a boring team.

They're winning with a bunch of nobody. So you can't win. You know what I just call, this is intelligence is not just fucking reading smart shit or knowing a bunch of numbers and stuff. It's how you process information. And that right there is a classic example of someone who isn't smart. The smartest sports fans are the ones that aren't screaming at the television. That's what I've learned. Well, I, I, I, that I'm a dummy, but I know that Paul, let's get into this man. I got, I got

a, oh, I got a big day today. All right. let's go. You got the first pick this week, but what a pride time. It's isn't it great when you, when you're fucking stressing to get your kid the gift and then you finally get the big gift. I knocked one of those out yesterday. My wife, I don't know what else to fucking get her. Hey, my wife will tell you it's a rough one. I'm going with the Lions going down into New Orleans. You know, they shit the bed last week.

I'm sure that their coach gave me nice inspirational. Like, did we did all this fucking work to blow it in November? And then just we're gonna do this to Lions fans again. I don't know what's going on with the Saints. I think they're down there, you know, trying to put the pieces together. I have no idea what's going on down there. I just know, you know, people are always partying. I think have to team drunk Paul. I'm going with the Lions minus four going into New Orleans, the Mercedes-Benz

arena, probably the best pick on the board. And I would be that's I jumped off lover because I knew you're going to be like, good dude. I went about week. And then you say at home, but I knew you couldn't lay off on the road. That's a great pick, Bill. All right. You just have a snowball fight. Can you explain to the listeners why you address like you're going to go build a snowman? Okay. I will. Okay.

I will. My, my daughter sick, my wife is sick. I started to feel like I'm getting the chills. My basement is freezing and my ears were hurting. And I said, you know, I fuck it. I'm not, yeah, I'm not trying to be here. Is what hurting or they were cold? No, I was getting like a little know, I fuck it. I'm not trying to be here. Is what hurting or they were cold? No, I was getting like a little bit of an earache.

I'm getting a little congested. So I said, you know what? Why not just I got one for you, Paul. What? Get yourself some rod ginger. I got some ginger advice here from a ginger. Oh, I thought you were going to go with the every, every, every advice people go. Here's what you got to do.

You got to get black tea. Everybody. No, no, no. I got one that actually tea. Everybody. No, no, no, no. I'll tell you what, no, I got one that actually fucking, it didn't, it, nothing cares the cold. But I'll tell you, it keeps it out of your throat. Oh, uh, raw ginger, it sucks. Cut out like an inch of it off, peel it,

and then just fucking eat it and swallow it. It's gonna be on the fire. Okay. On the fire is gonna be on fire. Then a spoonful of that raw honey, got that, that kind of eases that, and then some lemon water. Yeah, after they stole the whole thing,

I'm telling you, all right, I'll try. The shit was coming on. I was like, I hear some fucking tape and onion to your foot, old wives shit. I think, I think, you know, a lot of what you need is in your fridge, not at CVS. Yeah. There goes those advertising. You got to take a cup of rice and put it in ginseng and sniff it for 15 minutes. It's a life leave. No, but there's actually there,

there are things out there. No, of course. No, it's not like that's the one I can't do. Rugged garlic. I mean, Jesus, I'd rather drink fucking Drainow. All right, you got Paul. With my first pick, since that pick was the epic pick off the board, I'm gonna say, I mean, I mean, dude, it's tough. This week sucks, Paul. This is a tough week. Weeks like me. It sucks. Um, I can't believe I'm going to do this, but I'm going to do this. I'm going to

take sneaky pee and the Seattle Seahawks. I love that pick. Get nine. Get nine. And I think he's a way better coach than Wayne Fonts. Whatever that fucking guy is who so there over there with the other. Oh, dude, speaking of Wayne Fonts, I just waste. You have to. Everybody has to. The Barry Sanders, bye, bye Barry documentary on Amazon Prime was one of the best NFL documentaries I've seen. Heartfelt touching, it was amazing.

You laughed, you cried. You laughed, you cried. You put on a pop on hat and you moved on. Why have the Eagles plus three at home? Is Jalen Hertz hurt? Is it Jalen Hurt? What's going on there? Jake the snake, oh, Paul, God bless you.

Thank you. Jake the snake, what's going on in Philadelphia? Is Jaylin? There we go. No, he's good to go. You know, I think there's a lot of foreigners love right now because they blew out Seattle last week and Eagles is plastic. Yeah. And they'll be in nail biters. All right, you know what? I'm going with the Eagles plus three at home. I don't give a fuck. I believe in that lunatic that they have as a coach. Whoa

All right, I'm keeping it three at home The big thing with the 49 is Paul you got to go up early then he can expose that kid because other than that He's just he's just keeping that Ferrari on the road I'm gonna take for my second pick. Oh, I don't like pull it doesn't Ferrari on the road. I'm going to take for my second pick. Oh, I don't like pull it. I wasn't like this week guys. I'm not going to lie. Um, I'm going to take, I'm going to let the train keep rolling with the, with the Denver Broncos getting three and a half. They, they're playing the Texans. I know the Texans are good. I know the Texans are better. But there's a little bit of a thing going on in Denver.

And I think Sean Payton's a good coach. And I think they write it the ship around. I don't know about that point five. I didn't like that point five. We always hate the point five. Listen, the point five is a snake that bites. Wait, you're getting three and a half? Yeah.

Oh, then I like it. Yeah. No, but I'm saying the point five is always the snake device. Paul, I didn't think I liked it. Turns out I like it. I mean, you know, who am I? Who am I, Paul? I'm just some jerk off picking games. I'm going to take the fucking green bay packers, getting six against the Kansas City chiefs in Lambo because you know what? The chief should kick the shit out of him. And that's why they're not gonna because that's what the chiefs do. Okay. And I know this time of year year they start turning it on, right?

Andy Reed starts putting his belly on people going like, are you going to show me you got what it takes? Or you're going to feel the mustache on your fucking nose, right? And then they start playing. But I think I like that kid, that kid's got a cannon, it's Lambo,. Maybe it snows Paul. Hey, hey, talking just in the parking lot, all right? I mean, everywhere. Okay. Hey, hey, talking to the restroom. All right. Yeah. That was the reference, the rest of man, the dolphins line is too high. Otherwise, I would take them. Otherwise, I would take them. But Paul is laying off. Dude, the dolphins are the AFC East team that I just don't know anything about. No, I know. I know. I know. Still. I just always get excited because I think it's Nick Crowell. And then it's like, no, it's their coach. All right, I'm going to do something stupid

here. I can't believe this. Everybody talk about it. You've got to put that in your shoulders. Don't do it. Come on. You're doing so well. Jake, I need you, Jake. Jake, this is the best part of this year's show is Jake just comes in. Jake slides in like the analyst. He does, but I'll tell you it. Fucking Andrew Thamelis very quietly killing it. I'll tell you somebody else who's a beast. Nate Craig, Nate Craig goes, the bears are a lock. He said that last night or whatever, two nights ago, three nights ago. That's saying a lot. Jake, how that last night, or whatever, two nights ago. Three nights ago, Monday and football. That's saying a lot. Jake, how are your charges health wise

and are they mathematically eliminated? Great questions. They're not mathematically eliminated, but they might as well be. They're near in the end and health wise, not great either. But if keen marketplace, and health wise, not great either. But if he now plays, that's the big injury to watch. That's all right.

No further questions Paul's heard enough. Thank you. No, no, Jake, that's what I needed. Thank you, buddy. All right, I found it. All he wanted to know is that they were healthy. Jake, I love Jake. All right, you know what?

I'm gonna take the... I'm gonna take the Atlanta Falcons against the hapless New York Jets. I looked at that game. I just don't know who the Falcons. Huh? It's like some psycho-checked that this thing one week. I like it though. I like it. They got to win by a field goal.

Do the jets are on their third quarterback. They're there. They're slowly, you know, how they bench that other kid. Well, yeah, and you know, them showing Rogers in a red jersey practice. And I mean, the guy had a kill his fucking thing of three months ago, man. He's not, it's, it's, he's not playing. So, um, oh, gotta take that. Uh, yeah, I'm, I'm taking a Falcus, man. Falcus or a lock. Jets have no offense. That's coming from Themeleus, right?

Yeah, it's coming from Themeleus. Oh, okay. Listen, dude, if a third string quarterback beats that pick, are we trying to help me? He said, San Fran is healthy. Does the only thing people in San Francisco hate more than the rent is people who don't live there calling it San Fran. It's Frisco, the Joe, the order of cheese steak like this, no one cares.

Oh, a feminist said he's still taking the eagles. Look at that. Okay. All right, I'm gonna take the Rams at home, minus three and a half against the, who knows what they're gonna do, fucking Browns? I hate the point five, but Paul, you know what? I don't like myself either.

So I kind of like that line, it reminds me of me. I like that, we got a new one from the show. The point five was a snake that keeps on biting. All right, I like that. I was looking at the Rams Browns. That's another one that I just don't know. This is keep your eyes on your own paper. Okay. This week is wild. Um, you know what, dude? I know I ate in a half, ate in a half. How many picks do I have left? Oh, that point five Paul takes out your knees

through the amount of walks that I take because I don't flip out in front of my kids. I just take a fucking walk. My neighbor's got to think I'm crazy. I don't watch the games. I watch my team play and whatever prime time game is on and that's it and then I look at it. Oh, I thought I was the only one who did that. I know. I don't want to I went to the car show this week. Bill, you know how I find out how my picks win. I look at the phone at the end of the night and I watch my team play and whatever prime time games are on. I don't this fucking NFL package. You got to be out of your mind to buy that. If I'm looking at six screens, like a fucking cat with a laser, fuck that dude. I'll tell you what, I don't, I don't like that. It's on fucking YouTube. I don't either. I'll tell you what I don't I don't like that it's on fucking YouTube. I don't either. I just know like any of my I don't like that they fucking made me get direct TV

and then when they switched to YouTube they go no and then they start going like oh no dish hanging off the side of your house it's like you didn't fucking say that. 10 goddamn years ago did you? Well did you? got my pick. And just you know, I hit about the NFL, nobody picks up the phone over there. The screen in my calls every week when I win, they see the number. They go, don't get that one. Do don't get that one.

He's a terrible gambler and he's going to blame us again. He thinks it's fixed. There's only 50 guys on both fucking sidelines. He thinks they're all involved and they keep them out shut. That feel goal miss is he taking it out of you. I'm gonna take this, the Pittsburgh Steelers, Andrew goes, he's asking about the prevent defense again. I can't, I can't, if you want, if you want to take the call, you take the call.

What's he gonna do? Talk about the flake gate again? No, there's a phone line, there's a phone for everyone, but then the bill, the phone is red. The red one's blinking. It just says, do not answer on top of it. The red one's blinking, not the red one's blinking.

Which kicker missed? Hey, what else is, no. They're trying to find it. Well, these eggs, so it's just a couple of Sunday night. This fucking jerk off's calling us on a Tuesday I'm gonna take the Pittsburgh Steelers. I'm gonna take the Pittsburgh Steelers at home and The only rhyme or reason for this is because Mike Tomlin at home Is just a winner the line is under six So if they win the game by six, I get the game.

I don't really know what the Cardinals are doing. I don't think their coach is nearly as good as a Steelers coach and the Steelers are home. That's my reasoning. I always think that's a good reason. Good coaching Paul goes a long way. A good coach. That's does good parenting.

You know, yeah. Quality ingredients in your dish. Well, those are the three things. I'll stop there. You know, yeah, quality ingredients in your dish. Well, those are the three things. I'll stop there, you know, and knowing what's important. Knowing what's important. Yes. And keeping your head covered. Dude, the billber hotline is the funniest.

The red phone buzzing is my favorite part of this episode. I can't hear you. We can't hear you. We can't hear you. I was just thinking of how funny it would be in a few years if like they had AI and they just had like a designated AI to handle the bill for a line. So it's just this thing person putting up all the talking point. But the AI works so hard that they got to like, you know, computers get hot servers, they got like cool them down. The ass.

So, so, so, they got to have a guy for water on it, the bill per AI, but works so far. When I call up customer servers by the end of it, I get the guy to admit that he's in India. I wear him down. The thing is you don't curse, and you just keep saying that's not acceptable. And then they just, they just,

they just on the line with you. It's like a NASA, like NASA in Houston, like they're all in there. And the guys looking at, and before every field goal, they're just looking at the phone like this. All right. And Robert Caper-Cizzis to see who's going to have their Sunday evening. I don't like this. I feel like people don't like me. Who's next? Or are we done? We got the Monday night special brother. Like did we pick for each?

Did you pick for, Paul picked for, right? You picked the Steelers. That was your last one. We pick. Okay. All right, so what's the Monday night special? Beated, boo, win some money for you. We did hit one.

We hit one. We came so close the next week and lit this past week. We should we should fucking we last week our pick last week should be we should just been like you know I take full responsibility. No, no, no, we didn't get it done. I told them list. I like when we lose it like that. I don't like when we lose it by one thing. I like just being raw early Paul you the most positive guy I've ever met in my life well you know what hey if I'm gonna fall down a flight of stairs I want to hit every stair if I don't have at least five

broken bones I don't feel like I got my money's worth I get to lay around my wife makes me fucking soup positive Paulie we got the Cincinnati bangles without Joe burrow going into Jacksonville against Goldilocks. Oh yeah, the fucking, the good looking zombie. That's a great one. The good looking zombies. I don't know what to do. That fucking guy's a killer. Trevor Noah. And he looked really good. Trevor Lawrence. He looked really good last week. Dude, he's a stud. And they're on prime time. Did you get to blow out? Dude, that guy could pick me up and the red phone

that they don't answer at the NFL and fucking throw me to the other side of the globe. I like that guy. What's the spread? Eight and a half. Dude, if this one more fucking half, you fucking Vegas cunts, you know it's some little wormy prick out there. And he's got one of those little fucking pencils, Paul. Look at me when I'm talking to you. It's got one of those little

fucking pencils without the erasers because he never makes a mistake Paul. Yeah, but that guy keeps his job. You know, he keeps his job. It won't hurt you with eight. And well, I'm gonna tell you something. That's one of the things that I love about you. The level of confidence that you just said that with, it's like you already watched the game. No, no, but it's a point eight, it could be in the benefit because of nine, you know, the number wise, eights rough.

When's the last time you saw a team win by eight? You know, whenever a guy is bundled up as you is, starts talking with his shoulders, I just shut down. You're like, you know what, I mean, it's not gonna stupid fucking hoodie touching your hat. No, come on man. This is a nice soft one. I'm not saying it's not nice But the combination of the two. Do you have on mittens? Well, it's wearing a onesie. All right Paul Paul saying the eight and a half's not gonna hurt us Who do I have to call it the NFL to get rid of that fucking point five? We could

take the bangles. If you want to take it, I don't know how you think the point five is not going to hurt us. You're looking at it like they're going to go seven, seven, seven, seven, seven. And it's like not a factor. All Andrew says, yeah, ATN to rush for a touchdown. That's a good one because they give him the rock a lot. All right. What about Joe Mixon? Oh, I don't know, but you got to, you got to get down the field. Think about the Sid ball, the, the Cincinnati Bengals have a really good defense. So I think they're going to hang with them for a half. At that point, Trevor Lawrence, how about good looking Paul Bunyan? How about that? The brownie fucking towel guy that looks like

he knows where the weed spot is. All right, so Trevor Long. We're going to figure out a nickname that isn't that long. So how about this? Trevor Lawrence to throw one, ATN to rush one, and then what's the third? Do you know what I kind of that we've been laying off of? Go ahead. I like it. I like it already. I like it already. I didn't say anything. You know, we always go with the number one receiver. Now these aren't great teams right now because of injuries or anything. Just keep this in your head, Paul. Next time, there's a great defense playing a great offense. They're going to do the Bella check thing where they're going to take away the number one option. So next time we bet on a fucking receiver, we should probably go to number two receiver.

Kind of woke up to that with the Kansas City game, even though Kelsey got one. That's just something to think about Paul, but not on this game. I just wanted to waste time. Paul, I'm not going to lie to you. I can't name one player on either not one Joe, Joe borough, Joe Mixon, Trevor Lawrence, Jamar Chase, Kiki Bandawai, T Higgins. Well, we don't have to pick the game. We can pick Lawrence to throw one ATN to rush one and then we over under the under over is the over under 39.

I everybody's going to take the over Paul. Everybody's going to take that ball. But what about you Paul Paul? You're different Paul, you stand out from that. That, that, that number is too good. I don't like it. I don't like it, dude. Paul, you like it. You like the under. You want to be that guy.

As the fans are walking out, you stand up when you see. Instead, I took the under. Oh, there you go. Top of the stadium. Oh, but that's only, no, Andrew, that's only one point. You could tease it up one point. You could tease to 43. You want to do that and take the under? Yes. All right. All right. Let's do that. Or Jacksonville

money line. What does the money line even mean? I mean, gambling. It means Jacksonville just needs to win. You don't get as good of a fucking odds on that. Right, you don't get the, but, but it's a part of it. I would tease it before I do the money line. I want people to make some money here. Okay. So let's do that.

Let's do Trevor Lawrence to throw one. I was my hand wider than my head. They're both out in the same sun, right? No, I hate to get some more exposed. You got pockets. Money. It doesn't take it directly, but you think I'm walking around in my pockets, my hands and my fucking pockets.

You know, I saw a guy one time I was stopped at a red light and you standing with his hands in his pockets, and I wanted to yell, hey, get your hands out of your pockets. I get your hands right, I can see him, just to see if he would do it. You'll be funny if you start to take your, what a fucking, my list of this bald idiot. All right, we can do that. It's perfect timing. It's one o'clock. We're done. Let's do that. We'll do a t n to rush one Trevor Lawrence to throw one and we will tease the under over up to 43 and we will take the under. And then

um, and then there you go. I think that's it. Just to give them some odds to make some money. How's that sound? Thameless Jake good. I like it. Oh, he said money line is a good fourth edition. If you want to push it. I mean, that just means you want to push it, Paul. You want to win a game. Jacksonville is going to win a game. It's Monday night. They're home. I needed you to say it three times like Beetlejuice, me to believe it. Jacksonville's going to win a game. Okay, that's it. Fuck it.

There's a chance that my nut moved the odds much. So we'll like, we would leave it off if it actually was the hat squad. You guys call each other man. It's like 60 degrees in here. Yeah, we can take a look at it, but yeah, that we can add that in as a fourth. And if it does, if it does something for the odds, let's just add it on because we all think Jacksonville anyway. All right, guys, that is the show.

Those are our picks for a week number lucky 13 and download the bed MGM app, as always, use bonus code, burb, you are our deposit, your $1010 deposit and you can get back $1,500 back regardless of your first, regardless of the outcome of the first wage or so. Bet responsibly have some fun this weekend. Enjoy it. Don't take it out on your wife. Enjoy the Christmas music. Have a holiday.

Jay fucking missed it. Spilling the egg knock. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. What the fuck are they doing? Jack Frost nipping at you. No, I Holy night.

If he's not fired next week, I'm done. Look at his face. We're going to win with that guy. All right, everybody, enjoy this week's game. Go the fucking ball. We'll see you next week. Take care. All right, bye-bye.

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