Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-4-21

Episode Date: November 4, 2021

Bill rambles about Immoral Compass, a new show he produced with creator Tyler Falbo.

Hey what's going on everybody it's bill bird it's time for the thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you. Check it in to see how your week is going because i'm that kind of person a big hollywood phony. Because i don't give a fuck really how you i mean i hope you have a good time just what hope you're healthy enough to make it to my shows. In Reno in San Jose this weekend there you go that's the honest thing and i'm speaking of honesty i have an amazing guest here this week for the thursday afternoon just before friday morning morning podcast to i got to know. Through this guy that i forget his name but he had a sweater draped over his shoulders. Like you know like the coming of age dick in the 80s movies who let us know about this amazing young director writer and all of that we have the wonderful tyler falbo welcome thank you who is on on the podcast we did a show called a moral compass which is going to be debuting november third. Fifth on Roku Roku Roku yes you got to get this i'm telling you this kid is a beast he's soft-spoken he's humble this is the second podcast ever he's going to be all you know i don't know what i'm doing here you know what you're doing tyler. So great i mean how long ago we've been we pitched the show we got it on quibi oh god yeah that was like 2019 yes got it quibi wanted it.

And then pre-pandemic we pitched this thing yeah and then we were supposed to shoot it in march of 2020 and then pandemic. That's right yeah and then that happened and the pandemic happened and then that and then quibi came out after the pandemic start great timing yes and it did poorly. And then they luckily said okay we'll go shoot your show in september and we did and then october quibi said well we're shutting down and then it ended and we just didn't get going and you know funny was a lot of places i think during the pandemic. Like streaming and everything because people just home they were binge watching stuff and i just think for some reason they were the new kids on the block i think they needed people to be out to see the billboards. I don't know not like you can't advertise i don't know what happened so the friggin show goes away i was devastated because i actually do i have a little part on this thing. Playing sort of a guy who peaked in the early 90s which if you really taken the details of how the wardrobin hair and makeup how they just absolutely crushed it. I basically do i would like a wrap around thing and to describe what the show is it's basically Tyler makes these really short dark dark. Dark major left turn short films that all have like a theme like jealousy and the empathy or something whatever and it's all built around.

I just love about each one of them it's like there comes that everybody sort of normal when they start and there's either an event or a decision. And someone there's a fork in the road and someone can veer left or they veer right and your characters always veer in the direction of excitement will say you know i was thinking about because you know we talked about how like. You know it was great that you're involved in the show because there is some some kind of weird similarity. Between your comedy in this show and it's so different because your comedy is definitely way different than the show but i think i found out like the specific thing that reminded me of it adam loader show runner. Reminded me of the clip from your special the black and white one where you're doing the bit about the guy in the helicopter yes yes and what was so funny about that bit. Was not just what happened but you're describing the pilot sitting there what's going through his head when he's watching a guy jump out to commit suicide just let people know there was a guy. Who wanted to commit suicide and he decided to do it by getting a helicopter ride. You know i love the rock star way the guy went out but also did he need to drag this guy into it so this guy actually flew with the guy.

That flew that guy that jumped out he never brought it up which makes him even more badass. And from what i heard the story was the guy just kept asking if you could fly higher can you go a little higher can this thing go a little higher. And because of where they were there was an airspace above them probably you know lax he couldn't go into it. So the guy just like open the door and undid his seatbelt and then open the door and the pilot tried to grab him now you fly a helicopter you can't take your hands off the controls you know especially if it's Robinson. Are you gonna start just sending immediately but he grabbed the guy and the guy hit him hit the pilot and then the powers is like alright fuck it man i'm not dying too. And the dude jumped out and landed in the water did not die at first and then and that's and then yeah i did a bit on that which i think that would be a moral conundrum in the show is if you're the pilot you know what do you do here do you try and say this guy or save your life and then the twist at the end that happened in your story would probably happen the show to where the guy survived. Yeah he lived for a minute and you're in your show the guy would have lived lived but i know absolutely if you're flying so much starts punching you in the head because they want to jump out it's like alright jump. I wish you wouldn't do that but i'm feeling good about life and still being alive and everything so how did you.

How did you like i don't know how long you've been making the like making films and when you started out. We because i i start when i started up stand up i was like totally clean and i didn't want to offend anybody because i've been just getting screamed at my whole life so i was really on like my heels and i didn't want to piss off the headliner and i want to club owners is a nice wholesome act. That's not gonna you know put any ripples in the water did you for you right from the gate where you the sort of dark or no i mean i bet you could guess this but came from like a religious background like in florida like very opposite of. This is not yeah i know i'm from jacksonville florida have they seen your films yeah and i think that's kind of like you know like when my grandmother would watch my shorts like when it hit the punch line she was just kind of like shake her head and look down i feel like that's what. Inspired me that was your litmus testing alright i'm on to something yeah exactly funny and yeah in high school you know i always want to make like serious movies like growing up i was love like the co and brothers and. No they make some comedy a bunch of companies to my call tom sarsen movies and i always want to make like that kind of stuff but whenever i was coming up with ideas i always like. Figure out some weird fucked up direction it would go in and it would not be what i wanted to do but just naturally always happen that way. And i just like i should lean into this is better than what i was gonna make anyway but what i liked is i couldn't guess the ending.

It was always just like somebody did something and you know i kind of you put yourself. In in the place of the character a lot where you just going like alright what would i if i if i just did that would i fess up to it would i try to get out of it and. I can't stress enough i just hope people you know i'm gonna flock to this thing because the casting that we got on this you have one where i think these two guys should do a movie just the way they look together on screen we have one. Of the short films that stars vince vaughn and bobby lee and just seeing the two of them together they're both like genius comedic actors and one guy's what's been six five he's like you're high yeah and bobby's like five what's six or seven five two no no he's gotta be no but i mean for me that was like you know that's part of the. This i want to give me away but it is important that they were the size differences and. And that was just like unbelievable that they were both willing to do that one has had no idea who's gonna get those guys like those like heavy weights yeah i mean i i well do you know what it is there's so much. You know there's a lot of material out there but i just don't think this really great material and what sold it was what you wrote and then you had those. Those other ones the guy helping his girlfriend move in and all the stuff that happens in that one this will be such a difficult show to talk about because he dealt those are all the surprises i don't want to give it away but like al madrigals in one mariel and rice cups in another i host them sort of the what would they what would they call me the.

Oh yeah in the interview the down a rod sterling down a rod sterling yeah i'll take that which i love that because that i mean that is the kind of thing we're going for is that like someone to bring the whole show together i mean you know it gets a little more involved as we go on but yeah like your characters point of view really drives everything in the show well if we do is if we were lucky enough to get another season of this i have more ideas. Of where i want to take that guy i have a couple ideas to because it's like that guy we could go further with him or it's like what if you're another guy. Like just completely we go in a different direction you do that same it's the same purpose but like you're not rick anymore you're. You know steven you know what i like about that is that's like old school tv where by the time i came around and was attempting to act. Like if you did a guest star on a show you were done yeah you had to make sure that like you know there's a couple of my books up on jag and my agent was just like it's only like two lines do not going to bring you back. So like so we waited out for a better part i never got another i never got to wear the navy whites right so but back in the day like you if you did a show and they liked you you could come back. A number of times like i've been binge watching the untouchables and the recently passed away the lake great at asner he was incredible he did like three or four of those gavin mcleod did a couple lee marvin did to. There was a number they would you became like this this guy that they.

They just believed in and it was just like you could be a you could be a character actor like and just keep doing different characters and then somewhere along the line. I guess it became kind of funny to people as they got educated the tv like you know how can you keep bringing that guy back just because he's got a mustache it's like that guy was running a car wash. You know last season in this season he's you know he's shooting a machine gun but i just think back then it wasn't everyone was just so like so psyched to have a tv which i you know if all of a sudden you could watch the radio but i kind of like that idea did you watch did you like a once upon a time in hollywood. Oh my god are you kidding me i love that movie i actually own it on dvd i got i don't know that i got a screener and i won't throw that out even though my fucking tv doesn't recognize my dvd player so i gotta get an external on it and i just. Like i could talk forever about that movie i went to tarantino's movie theater and watched it on me to you know there's a very subtle thing in that movie. That you watch it like three times you pick up on it no one ever says hippie it's always fucking hippie the whole movie is fucking hippies and i just love like my whole life the manson family was so like. Just propped up on this oh my god they were so demonic and they were terrifying like oh my god like who are you know i know what they did was terrifying and he reduced them. To just a bunch of lazy fucking white kids who didn't want to get jobs who actually were fans of movies and tv because you know they geek out when they meet Leonardo's character.

In the end and they just reduced them to what they were a bunch of dumb jerk offs that did horrible fucking things. To a wonderful industry that makes all this entertainment you know for people to watch and the cars in it. Um you know oh my god lee i think that was Leonardo's best performance that little stammer that he had and how he just hated himself like he did that you could just see like. Um how that probably drove him you know he probably got me fun of his a kid he hated himself that's the best part in my in the movie to me i mean other than the ending but uh you know his little arc of like not being able to get his lines right and then coming back in this triumphant thing of him just. Doing the performance right but that was all reason i brought it up was that. Uh that movie kind of gate you know i'm way younger and i i've seen all the reruns of stuff but like the whole world of. You know guest spots on classic tv shows and they put them if they want to put them in the huge mustache and the beer they want to look like. You know rick dalton who was famous from the other show they don't you know the directors like i don't want them to see you right you know so they put them in all this makeup and stuff which is.

Kind of what we kind of wanted to do with you yeah yeah i'm i'm. I had a great time really great time doing that and i'm you know i'm really early on with like acting learning how to do it so each time i just approaching it like comedy each time i try to get a little bit better. Sometimes i try something and it doesn't work you know people make fun of me on the internet i don't give a shit because it's just like okay so i bombed that part of it bombed but you know you just gotta kinda. Keep moving forward oh dude that thing where leonardo when he's. He's not in it when they're doing that take me try to make those stuff like and it's just like i watch that and as much as i wanted to laugh it actually. What's really embarrassing because i was like i've done that i fucking they didn't use the take i hope but like you just get into that thing of like i'm not in this i'm not in this do something interesting like some weird face or anything just the way. That that whole thing was played and i still this day anytime i get on the one on one and that exit every time i think of brad pit drive catalog every single time and so anyway. Roku november fifth is the show i'm just gonna keep saying that i'm speaking of your look i'd never told you this like couple weeks ago we had a little like meeting about the press stuff and the people that were doing the poster they're doing like the photoshop on.

The like key art and stuff they're like so like do you know like you know like bills hair like i was decision but like it doesn't look that good like it looks like bad hair plugs. Like you do you want to photoshop that i'm like no that's what it's supposed to look like why would they think that i would do that you'd be like self conscious about look like having the bad hair plugs know that was the thing this guy like. We did all these little things i don't want to get too much we did all of these little things these little nods. Okay we'll talk about the bad hair put what i want to get this photo will be like this will be a bonus so they'll know what you look like okay so what i love. You know the hair plugs from the nineties those ones which weren't the original ones because i know. I think elton john got one of the original hair transplant and the scalp is just all scarred up like but whatever the hell they did to him. But after that then they had those ones that i was everyone used to call ant legs. And for some reason i don't know if it was super painful there was so many people that i saw on the subway when i was in new york in the nineties they would be sitting down and they would just get one row of them.

And then they would grow them out and they would comb it back and it just you could see like a dot where they put it in and it just sort of never faded or went away and i made like your eyes water so. I feel like when you see those things which i actually feel like they went away like the tramp stamp you know now that you can. Get rid of a tattoo like you never see a tramp stand plus the women who got him or you know of a certain age so maybe they don't show him off but. I feel like all of those things went away but like this guy with like. You know those hair plugs that the tribal tattoo hair plugs right that they look like that that's what people were worried that we act we did on accident. People look like that yeah no they had that and then a lot of guys had that tribal tattoo that was a big white guy thing to get like you was somehow connected to you know some new zealand. You know whatever that six song is that they they sing you see a thing before they play rugby with the dance to whatever the hell that thing is that's just like all right we're not winning this game i can't tell if i was over my first instinct to be to laugh at it but if i was standing there in front of those guys i'd be terrified. I think.

Oh no i would not be left those those guys are like yeah that's beyond breaking those guys would break your femur whatever the biggest bone like those guys just trying to tackle them it's just like a bunch of fucking. Lawrence tailors and like totally amped up and it's like regular season games to so. Anyway do you as is just a you know out of curiosity for like if this thing gets picked up which i don't know why i wouldn't do it really is it's one of the most proud thing that i've been a part of that we we produced here. As far as like the TV show you guys you guys were really instrumental in this a T.C. like that was huge getting all the people involved that entire process was crucial. What do we do we just for a week we pitch the show you waited but i appreciate that but if you do like a season two do you have like. Ideas and all of that stuff i've got a couple and there's a couple from season one that like we couldn't do for budget reasons or whatever that that maybe we now we can figure it out but there's a there's definitely some stuff there that i'm excited jump back into and also you know we had a writer's room for the first one so we would have another one we'd like. Think about eight like great writers that were like pitching ideas you know we made this show as 20 sketches in it and it doesn't seem like that many but it was a nightmare to to like get them all in this short so you got some leftover tracks you have a little bit yeah. All right it's headspace everybody you know what the fuck just what was that selling somebody farted over there all right it's headspace everybody would it be great if there were a pod pocket sized guy that help you sleep focused act and be better i'm hearing all kinds of noise.

Paul you stop fucking drinking your slub. Jesus Christ look at the guy he's got he looks like a fucking wide receiver how many change you got now all right. All right yeah just hit me pull all right it's headspace everybody you know would it be great if there were a pocket sized guy that helped you sleep focus act and be better well there is. And if you have just 10 minutes headspace can change your life headspace is your daily dose of mindfulness in the form of guided meditations and easy to use app headspace is one of the only meditation apps advancing the field of mindfulness and meditation. Through clinically validated research so whatever the situation headspace really can help you feel better overwhelmed headspace has a three minute SOS I can't do it the grocery store. Picking up the kids you can just sit there breathing in your SUV you can meditation for you my heated seat is on too hot and I can't go back down. Need some help falling asleep oh god she won't quit nagging me headspace has a wind down session their members swear by. How to tune out your wife they got it okay and for parents headspace has even morning meditations you can do with your kids so you don't put him in your car and drive him into a lake.

And then blame a black guy remember that white chick who did that the original Karen of the 2000s headspace's approach to mindfulness can reduce stress improve sleep boost focus and increase your overall sense of well being headspace is backed by over 25 published studies. Not the ones that people are just talking shit about the bar these are actually published on its benefits 600,000 five star reviews over 60 million downloads 60 million headspace fans can't be wrong headspace makes it easy for you to build a life changing meditation practice with your mindfulness that works for you on your schedule anytime anywhere you deserve a happier. You do you deserve to feel happier and headspace is meditation made simple go to headspace dot com slash burr that's headspace dot com slash burr for a free one month trial with access to headspace full library of meditations for every situation. This is the best deal offered right now head to headspace man headspace dot com slash burr today head h e a d space s p a c e dot com slash burr b u r r today you know it'd be great is though there's got to be something in like the pandemic. And everybody feeling like whatever side they're on masks getting vax no mask not getting vast like like everybody just thinks they're so fucking right and there's really like an argument. You know why would you trust big pharmaceutical companies when they started to basically a fucking nationwide heroin epidemic and killed a bunch of people's kids. But I mean they're like a lot of athletes a lot of athletes became like heroin addicts because they were given a basically synthetic heroin right and then you had. You know and then the other side of not listening to doctors and listening to your friends are becoming your own yeah sort of lab technician I'm going to go on web md and diagnose myself with no fucking background so I just figured both of those.

Are kind of wide open yeah I would like to come up with an idea that would make both sides angry you know it's like both sides they're watching the sketch or like wait what like what to see they go that's what that's what I that's what I do. Like when I go you know like last night I was making fun of the way liberals trash blue red states down at Largo and I was just trashing them. Cause I was talking about the tomahawk chop and like how can they do that how can they keep doing that it's just like well why would they show empathy when northern whites have not shown empathy towards southern whites since we're still not over the civil war right. Whether we realize it or not the shit that we say that you know if you're going to treat them like shit then it just shit runs downhill. So that was sort of the bit and but then if I go to. Like you know red states you know I talk about their four wheelers and you know their buddy and whoever and blah blah I've seen both sides of that from you I'm from Jacksonville and I think I went to show like a long time ago in Jacksonville comedy zone. You were at that place yeah my friend like is a was a comic my friend force does it did stand up all all the time there basically and. And our magical awesome stories about that place to but I don't want to speak too much about that but I thought this was wild you stated was one of those motels like the Radisson attached or a mod in or I don't know what it.

Yeah your door to your hotel room opens up to outside which is so fucking terrifying that is basically like dude you're on your own. Yeah I never did I did stand up twice in my life because my friends did it is not for me but I was around that whole like community and the whole like. If you want to be a comic you have to pay to go to this class at the comedy zone that's run by the guy that runs the comedy zone it's just like a scam like it. I felt like it was like a cult right I don't know anyway yeah that that yeah that was a result of the 80s. When the in the 80s like all of these people came through and as as it exploded so many people by so many people I mean like half a dozen or a dozen. Became these big like sitcom stars and then there you know a lot of guys got deals a lot of people got like you know it maybe got picked up and it went a few weeks but like. They looked at everybody as though they were a potential Tim Allen Roseanne Seinfeld Ray Romano all of these guys that came through and then ended up being worth hundreds of millions of dollars and they wanted a piece of it so. They would start these things do all the sudden comedy club owners when I came in comedy club owners wanted to start becoming managers they wanted to manage you.

And then they would sort of position you getting your spots. You know if I signed with them I'll get spots then you had to play the game of like yeah yeah like you know I want to guide my career a club owner. Because who knows more about putting together a sitcom deal than a club owner right and it was just like and I saw people like. Get involved in like those relationships and then like the most awkward part was when they started getting heat. And in the club owner started fucking up because they didn't know what they were doing and they're learning with your career by making mistakes when they had to walk away. It was always fuck that guy or fuck that that woman she's never working at this club again that happened a lot when I was coming up yeah. Yeah no it seems like like a weird pyramid scheme like thing that is now whatever the point of normal it's kind of what happens anytime there's money involved. People want to get everybody wants to start wetting their beak at first nobody gives a fuck then all of a sudden it's like holy shit you know it's like when comics started doing like.

Podcasts nobody gave a fuck that's a stupid little promotional tool then all of a sudden people started making money on it and then all of a sudden agencies are like we're gonna start our own podcast network. We're gonna own 50% of your podcast like that's what it is that also reminds me of the whole quibi the failure thing was that you know you were one of the maybe the first comic ever to do a Netflix special right. No no I was one of the first that had one on Comedy Central that then went to Netflix because I used to hang in New York. With Joe de Rosa you know back in the day right. You know before I moved out here we used to hang out and one of the things is he got net he got Netflix when you when they delivered movies and then he got it he had it on his TV because he's like a huge huge. Film guy and we used to sit there and watch the stand up specials and they at that point just wanted anything that they could get on there and they had some fucking brutal. Brutally awful like I don't even know where they got these because at that point Netflix was the last option where now they're the first option like I remember when. In the late 2000s being brought on stage at the improv and one of the things I said you might have seen a special on Netflix and it would get an audible laugh if you can fucking believe it.

They would laugh because they were like I mean that fucking blockbuster postmate thing postmates didn't exist but like they they were kind of considered like like a joke you know so. You were definitely at the front of that right yeah and then on but beyond that you're the one of the first to do a podcast like you know there's a bunch of guys at the beginning but you're in or you know before this crazy podcast crazy. And then I saw those things I'm like oh and we're going quibby is the new. No I know I'm like oh perfect and I know that happens so you know cuz. Bobby Kelly was the one who got me to do a podcast accidentally and it was back when we were still on my space. And he was just like dude you know dude you just you call up this number dude you talk to your fans it's a great way to promote yourself dude. Check it get this you flip that boom and he did the whole thing so I got right so I started doing it that way but Bobby also told me to get a mini-disc player. Telling me that this is and I still have it with the little T microphone and I have sets on it I can't find the charger.

So you know you win someone you lose someone you're on like the forefront and I thought you know. You know quibby was you know had as good a shot as anything and God knows that the people that they had over there they had some heavy hitters you know that had done all of this other stuff but anyway I'm so happy that. That people are going to see the show do because I think you really are so unique and so talented and the way you put this thing together and the people that you know. Came on all and did you did these little shorts with you all had the best time and we're thrilled in the trailer you made like I was shown to people like dude this looks cinematic. Like I want to see this movie so awesome yeah so anyway so is there anything else you want to propose we got wrote the number one thing is immoral compass is what it's called everybody. November 5th 2021 the day after the election it was was yesterday big Tuesday whatever the hell it was Super Tuesday yeah Super Tuesday you got to watch this thing because I have promoted so many things. And the the the the the critic that you get interviewed by is just like oh yeah so what was it like to work with so and so what do you feel about your character do you like making movies or whatever. This one both critics were like oh my god I was watching this thing and I was like no way where the fuck is this going like there was an audible excitement from critics.

Which is all you want yes that's all you want so I know you got anything else that you want to promote all my eggs are in this basket this is all I got if it fails I'm done. Back to Jackson. I keep I've been wanted to ask you the whole time I will do one quick last one here. What what religion were you brought up in and at what point did you I don't know if you've broken away you know you can assume correctly. Okay I think. Yeah I'm not gonna. Alright so I'm not asking you to trash it I'm just yeah interested because I was raised Catholic I got away from it and now that I'm older. I'm feeling myself gravitating to wanting to believe.

In something but it's hard and not just to save my own ass we should do astrology that's what everyone's doing now. What's the next I know Hitler did astrology and that's why he lost the war. I was. He got he got stretched out he got he was too thin you know yeah that was the issue that had been it. He was also a private. Was he he was a private in the army and then he started this group. You know what I mean and then they called the Nazis and a few I like I just said I started this group like I've never heard of it and then. So they had a private would guy who never raised higher than a private.

And he fucking was now running your country and he was into astrology. That's why he was like a player's coach believe it or not a lot of people don't know he was a player's coach where he got gassed in World War one. So he made sure all of their bunkers had a shower that if he got gassed you could shower yourself off. You know I imagine more of a Belichick type but he and you would write down you would but he actually cared about his methed up soldiers. Wow blue eyes and blonde hair I'm surprised no one's made him well I'm not surprised but someone should make a movie just it's about just his failed art career. It's just like that led to it you know it's like the whole movie is him trying to be an artist and at the end he just makes that turn. Yeah you're like oh no that sounds like one of your shorts I do a bit about that if somebody could just have encouraged him. And just kept him on the easel like what what you know I don't know it's.

It's true I mean yeah that's. Because the van go movie I don't have to go into that but there's a van go movie that basically he was trashed his whole life and he still went for it but man. People didn't like his stuff his whole life. Oh man it was really brutal it was like there's a movie with Willem Dafoe it's really good called Eternity's Gate and it's kind of like about his life because he wasn't famous for painting at all until after he died. Like that happens with a lot of artists but like that one like there's like a scene where like he's like he's like treated as like a freak like a mental issue he thinks he's good at painting. But he did have some mental I know he was a big time boozehound. Yeah he had a lot of issues actually but cut his ear off. Yeah I mean that wasn't over a woman though I heard he pulled a blade on his roommate and then he turned it on himself.

I wonder what the real story is because there's like a bunch probably was shit face painting and fell into his easel and then when it collapsed knocked off his ear and then I think people who wanted to make you know who found his paintings because I watched the documentary. There's just a documentary on how they prop up that market and now there's you know like every single market there's like five four or five major players and they sort of move the needle and how they decide what is worth something and what isn't and blah blah blah blah blah. I you know I'm not big believe this is a shocker not big in the art world but I actually really like his stuff and when I was in that where is he from is it is it Holland or is it. I feel bad not seeing the movie but it was in he was in Spain for a lot of it I think was in Paris twice yeah but there's some museum. Denmark maybe I was somewhere and I actually went and I saw his original work like a lot of them yeah and I really there was something about like I like looking at stuff that looks like stuff. Right. Like I get a little bit in that that Bosch yet stuff yeah that's how you say his name. I look at it I kind of get it it's like cool or whatever but I don't know when it just starts being like it looks like a five year old just did it.

All right am I supposed to. Yeah that's an entire that's an entire road to go down. All right it's Roman everybody you know when the moment for intimacy arrives you need to be ready. You gotta be standard tension. Salute the flag Roman ready whether you've been in a relationship for years or just getting started having the confidence that comes from preparation means you're free to enjoy the moment when the moment comes. Go to get Roman dot com I got the hiccups slash burr. That's not part of it. It's not get Roman dot com I have this hiccups slash birds get Roman dot com slash burr now to speak to a U.S. licensed health care professional about erectile dysfunction and get $15 off your first month of treatment.

The benefits of ED treatment can help you reconnect with your partner and rediscover the joy of sex. Roman ready is confidence. What Roman ready is confidence personified. It's the self assured assurance that comes from knowing you've prepared yourself for the moment when intimacy arrives. It's like when Willis reads coming out of the locker room you know you're going to win the game. Roman is complete Roman system is completely confidential and totally discreet. No big local logos or labels on packages when Roman with Roman. You can get a free online evaluation and ongoing care for erectile dysfunction all from the comfort and privacy of your own home.

Even though you are far from ordinary the truth is ED is really common. In fact 52% of guys age 40 to 70 experienced some form of erectile dysfunction. A U.S. licensed what kind of 70 year olds out there still crushing it. God bless them. U.S. licensed health care professional will work with you to find the best treatment plan. If medicine is appropriate it ships to you free with two day shipping. The whole process is straightforward and convenient and discreet getting started is simple. Just go to getroman.com slash burr and complete an online visit.

Take care of your ED without leaving your home. Complete an online visit today to connect with a U.S. licensed health care professional and take care of it. Go to getroman.com slash burr today and if you prescribed and if you're prescribed you get $15 off your first month of ED treatment. Make sure you're ready to have confidence and control this fall. Roman ready. Ready. But anyway the point was that. We were talking about religion.

What religion were you brought up in? I'm really like sidestepping this question. You don't have to answer. No I will. I was raised really Christian but it was non-denominational. My grandmother was one of the Billy Graham like went to his arena. Billy Graham was the shit. I actually went to.

I got like born again when I was like 10 years old in the Jacksonville January like stadium. Dude that's like seeing Zeppelin. He's like the Zeppelin of preachers. That guy was just like you saw Billy Graham live. I know I wish I appreciated it more at the time. Went down the field did the whole thing. Dude that guy was doing stadiums. I mean he was like fucking you too of like priests.

Just as an entertainer you know every weekend it's like am I going to move tickets. That guy was just like I wonder if he had to do like an extra sermon. You know you're trying to go up north and not buying this Jesus shit. You got to do an extra. Do an extra sermon to try and promote this. Oh man yeah I mean that was crazy. But I mean I was pretty like Christian religious like throughout my middle school and then high school I think it was like I started to get into comedy

and like watching stand up and movies and stuff. And it like was going against what they were talking about. But I'm like I kind of like this more. And then but I was still trying to figure out way not to curse. You know I didn't like curse until like senior or high school. But I was still making weird like stuff. And then it just like I must have been the Catholic schoolgirl thing like as soon as I was like you know it's not for me immediately it's like people like getting cummed on or something like you know it's like something terrible. Well that's what happens when you like how many times can you see that somebody with an overbearing oppressed childhood becomes like a fucking banshee whenever I see it.

And if that's I don't know what that term means at this point. Every fucking term you use now you're like wait a minute is that like a fucking something you shouldn't say. Yeah like Jim Morrison you know had a real like you know it was a military brat really like. Oh I didn't know that. Yeah yes sir no sir you know this is how you make the bed and all of that. I mean I think that's kind of like what I was seeing about that it's really so it's kind of good to you know let him run a little bit. Let Hitler paint a little more. Well Scorsese was going to be a priest like that was a part of his his like upbringing he's like really going to go into the priesthood and then he makes like good fellas.

I think there's a lot of like back then they so scared to shit out of people about going to hell that I think there was mothers that wanted one of their kids to be a priest as like collateral for some of the other shit they did so they could get into heaven. And then there was another big thing back then you know you weren't allowed to be gay openly. So that was a place where gay people could go and hide and stuff it's so fucking ridiculous that you just can't be who you are but that's the way it was. But I was listening about a couple years ago I listened to Lenny Bruce at Carnegie Hall starts off a little you know slow but once he gets going like how contemporary it still is. And he does this whole bit talking about homosexuality and like you can't believe like I mean the way they made it seem like back then it was like the dark ages and stuff like that as far as people being accepting of gay people. But like the way he talked about it and the way people were laughing it was like oh everybody knew everybody knew it was also Manhattan so Manhattan was always ahead of the curve socially when it came to shit like that. But like they were just talking about like he was just making references to that uncle you know and this is one of his buddies he's always hanging out with. I can't remember how he put it in the way people were laughing like everybody like just sort of sort of knew so I don't know.

I was imagining him is like one of those like I don't know what it was really like but like to go see Lenny Bruce you had to like go through a speakeasy or something you know like it wasn't like like acceptable. Like was he I don't know much about you know I've heard like his comedy and stuff but like was he doing like late night shows and stuff or is he a lot you know. I know he did a lot of shows like in the village there was like the whole it was a whole like beat poet things was going on the sort of the folk thing you know Dylan and those guys I think were a little bit after him. But and but I think there was a lot of like sort of over like those shows back when there was more of a variety show like the shit that was on TV you know spinning plates and a ventriloquist and then somebody comes out and sings a song or whatever. I think that there was shows like a poet a comedian a band would come out and play it was just live entertainment. And I know that a young George Carlin used to watch Lenny down in the village but it seems like the time to see him. Was before I think like the authorities sort of broke him where he was like just reading about his trial and he sort of got like obsessed with that the way they were fucking with them and everything. But before then when he was just up there just talking.

You know if you can get your hands on like boot like stuff it's really really incredible like I had to hear a fucking bit like six months recorded. Six months after the Kennedy assassination doing a bit because like the whole story was that Jackie Kennedy was trying to grab a secret service person to help. Her husband out and he was like now she was trying to save her own ass. And then listening to people laughing at that because I really think that there's this whole perception of back then if you watch the TV. You know the Mickey Mouse Club and Howdy Doody show and all that you think that these people didn't you know didn't look at this stuff critically like this is bullshit. Yeah I always tell this story reminds me a long time ago I was taking drum lessons from this guy who called himself the last of the great Armenian trap drummers. In Brockton Massachusetts it was a great music store which I hope is still there. I used to take drum lessons from this guy this guy was in his seventies that.

So let's see it was the nineteen nineties. So what is that he was born in the twenties and he was telling me man he goes I used to bang this broad as I've said I was down the Boston coms he goes I used to bang this broad up against a tree. During my lunch hour that the boss coming I had this look on my face like like I couldn't believe it and he just laughed and he goes let me tell you something kid. Because I said you did that he goes let me tell you something kid he goes every generation thinks they're the first one that ever fucked. Now here's a paradiddle. So anyway the name of the show we got to wrap this up here and then we got before we wrap this up once again it's immoral compass November 5th on Roku. There's so much stuff out there that is forgettable this is memorable this is you're such a talented guy man and I'm so psyched to be in business with you that you came over here to do something with all things comedy because. You really made us look good with what you made here and for those people listening Tyler Fabo is his name.

We got the the bed MGM picks of the week for you football fans coming up next. What's up everybody we are back for the NFL week number eight preview brought to you by bet MGM. We'll be using the greatest lines out there the bet MGM lines to make all of our picks and we'll have special offers for our listeners each week if you haven't signed up for bet MGM yet. Use bonus code B U R R for could not be easier B U R R you'll get a hundred dollars free after placing your first bet. 00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:59,800 You download the bet MGM app and you sign up using bonus code for B U R R place your first dollar bet dollar money line bet on any game you'll receive a hundred dollars and free bets immediately after placing your bet regardless of the outcome. It's that simple just make sure you use bonus code B U R R that's Burr B U R R when you sign up now getting into this week getting into this week here we made some people some money we made some people some money. You're making people Monday Monday you are making people money I don't know how I'm going to catch up with a man who doesn't lose.

I go three and one he goes three and one I go two and two. I fucking I drop a game Paul Versey is on point and last week if you watched what part of his Monday night let them Monday and that's special part of his bet was he he made the bold. Dare I say arrogant statement that Patrick Mahomes the great paid towards sideways I've never seen that before was going to throw an interception. And if we have the highlights I was shaking my head Paul I thought you lost your mind I thought you had so many fucking chains around your neck your head was up your ass I didn't think it was going to happen and what does Patrick Mahomes do. He throws a pick and I said Paul if Patrick Mahomes throws an interception on Monday night football on one of the biggest stages in regular season and the regular season I would sing you. I said Connie Francis it's actually Brenda Lee I would sing you I'm sorry and Paul I am a man of my word. So here we go I'm going to sing this now we don't have the music so I'm just going to sing it I'm sorry so sorry that I was such a fool I didn't know Monday night football could be so cruel. Oh Paul Versey you tell me mistakes are part of being young.

I didn't sing that line that line is just funny Paul I am sorry. I mean Paul like you know you started hot I thought you were going to cool off the end of September it didn't happen I'm like you know Paul's you know he's going to pull a hammy you know mid October. Didn't happen we are now into November Paul the holiday season has begun and this is just like at some point you just have to admit Paul Versey is a good team. After all of these years of dwelling in the cellar of the NFC East Paul Versey has learned some things Paul has taken points. Paul he sees in tune with his vibe I don't see myself catching you Paul I'm not trying to jinx you here I'm just being fucking honest I went to and to last week. I got to tell you though that thing that just looked like such an obvious gift left last week was the one good thing that I did make was the the Seattle Seahawks against the Jacksonville Jaguars they were given like was it four and a half and four five at home. And they won like thirty eight to fucking three or something and I had one other one but the bills fucked me over man they covered the last goddamn minute I was I was going I was trying to stay in in in step with Paul Versey three one I'm two and two. So I think I'm like five hundred for the year and with them was yeah you're like one game over five hundred one game over one game over five hundred picking against the spread Paul.

Do you see this on TV that they just picked the money I have one game over five hundred in November picking against the spread and I am still two games behind Paul Versey this like when you win a hundred games. It's a fucking team wins a hundred and twenty. No but that's wrong because I'm two games. Yeah yeah so I got to be five hundred yeah you're five hundred or one game below I got to retaliate up after this week but yeah that's I can't believe I'm five hundred I've had a lot of one or three below I think Paul two over. Oh I got to look here. Listen we are better than most people doing this including ESPN analysts and that's just a statistical fact. All right we're doing great. We're making people money.

We're using fucking bed MGM. They know it. You fucking know it. We almost gave them a Monday night special three weeks in a row. We finally came through. Keep riding the train. Yeah right in the anything better fucking train. I'm I'm riding your coattails because you're the one that the Patrick Mahomes.

I'll tell you Paul your picks on the Monday night special. There was great as our merch. How you like that. Our merch is murdering it but dude I'm going to tell you this right now and you saw this. Look at this softball. The Chiefs are a bad football team. The Chiefs fucking stink dude. They stink on so many different levels and it's weird because they kind of have the same personnel but he's not finding anybody open.

He's missing passes downfield. This guy was breaking down how his legwork is all over the place. Something's wrong dude. I don't know if the kids hurt. That's what my brother said. He goes I think he's hurt. I was like that's a great call. I didn't think that.

But I also think dude they're not a bad football team for Kansas City. They're bad. I mean you know what are they five and three. Five and three is fucking terrible for whatever they are. Five and four is something I mean what week we're on. Yeah I think they're like four and I think they're like a game under 500 but like yeah they're bad for what they should be I guess. But I think he's hurt. I think he can't do certain things with his leg.

I think he's hurt. That's the only explanation I have. Hey what do I know though. But he does seem to be moving fine in the pocket from what I've seen Paul as a 53 year old white male comedian. I think the man is moving pretty moves better than I do on stage when I hit the big stage. Paul you know when I go over to Fudd Rutgers to do a set in their fucking function room. Yeah it's funny how we're fucking comedians and this guy's an elite athlete in the NFL and we're going this guy's legs. This guy's legs.

These guys are terrible. They run 440s you know. I don't run a 480. I'm sorry I'm going the wrong way. I don't run it. I added yards rather than time. I don't run a 1040. After he threw the pick somebody tweeted hey Paul I think things are a little worse at home than you thought they were.

Remember you said last week you said you heard that there was some shit going on personally. Oh I didn't get that. Wow. Oh the rumor's the rumor mill. Aaron Rodgers not playing this week because he tested positive for COVID and then they found out that he lied when he was asked if he was vaccinated. He said yes they found out today that he was not vaccinated and he tested positive so he will not be playing against the Chiefs next week. So is he having a midlife crisis. Something dude.

He's got the long hair now. He's fucking I own you guys. I still own you guys. I like dude. I'm telling you I like the new Aaron Rodgers the old Aaron Rodgers where he was just whatever you want. I'm going to do it. This guy he's he's had enough and he's not taken anymore. I'm not getting the vaccine.

If I own you I'm going to fucking say I own you. I don't know Paul. I like the new Laurel Canyon singer songwriter Aaron Aaron Rodgers requested some of his paycheck in Bitcoin. He's going to you're going to see that guy on a fucking surfboard in Malibu all over the paper soon and then it's over. Soon as that guy gets on a surfboard it's over. No he's going to win. He's going Ken Stabler. Ken Stabler was like that.

When the coach was going like hey Ken you got to try to get more sleep before the game. He's like coach how many hours sleep do you need to play three hours of football. That's great. I like it. Aaron Rodgers is reminding me a quarterback's in the 70s. Okay. I'm sick of all these fucking guys you know just sitting there eating their goddamn whatever the fuck. They're they're they're beet juice and all of that shit.

I like it. I like a guy that goes a little rogue. I want to see a quarterback that has a course light at halftime. You know I want to see somebody go in old school little John Elway have a cigarette and a fucking you know Bud Light or whatever he used to do during halftime. You know who's that guy Bobby Lane Bobby Lane would come in they would knock him out and be like Jesus Christ man is that from last night. I had a couple of pops at halftime. Good old days. We got listen we just saw these lines and you Bill you get first picked because it's an odd week.

It's week nine. So it is your first pick. I'm an odd guy. I am an odd guy. I am going to take the let's see I'm going to take the Chargers in Philadelphia given a one and a half. I think the Chargers that coming off a loss Paul the Eagles I think they're better than people you know thought they were going to be the beginning part of the year but I just feel like this is a game that Eagles the Eagles lose and makes their fan base do something crazy. The holidays are here. Something has to happen.

Somebody's going to throw a fucking turkey or do something fucking nuts that has to do with the holidays to add to the legend of the behavior of Philadelphia fans. So I like the Chargers on the road Paul going in to the hostel confines but like you know I think veteran stadium was way more hostile when you're basically playing on cement. Now I think they have a nice field. You know that's who I like. I like the Chargers given one and a half. I like that pick especially off of a loss. All right. My first pick I'm going to go Kansas City.

No no no I'm sorry. I'm going to go Cincinnati Bengals at home against the Browns. I think the Browns are finito. I think the Browns are done. I like that the Bengals had that game against the Jets. The Bengals. The Bengals are a girl group Paul. It's Bengals.

The Bengals are like our lips are sealed. Bengals. Bengals. Bengals. Bengals. That's actually the go-go's. The go-go's. Sorry.

So sorry to be that good. What are the Bengals? I walked like an Egyptian. Yeah. Eternal flame. It's just another manic Monday. I wish it was Sunday. Whoa.

I fucking love that bed. Don't disrespect the Bengals. Didn't Prince write that one? The Bengals. Yeah. Prince wrote manic Monday. Why'd you have to take the shine off it? I'm going to take Cincinnati Sunday at home minus three

against the Browns. I think Joe Burrow and them have a big bounce back week after they got down with the Jets. And that's my homecoming theory right there smack in the face. I love that. All right, Paul, I got one for you. I'm going to bet on the Dolphins again after they lost me money last week. They got to win by seven.

They're given six and a half over Houston, who I just kept saying they can't be that fucking bad. These guys have been double digit underdogs and not covering the whole season. Getting smoked. Wow. And that's only six and a half. I say they don't show up again this week. Oh, they're in Houston.

I liked it. They're in Miami. Oh, they're in Miami. They're going to Miami, Paul. They're going to go do some blow. They're going to bang some broads down the fucking anyway. They're going to cut that covering. They're not covering.

They're not covering. I'm taking the Dolphins. I'm taking the Dolphins. They're mammals, Paul. They always say don't say squish the fish. All right. Lace is out. Lace is out.

I'm taking the Dolphins. Mine is six and a half over Houston. It's just another Monday. Oh, okay. Who do you got? I'm going my second pick. The first time I've taken this team all year. I don't like this bet, gentlemen.

I fucking love this bet. Okay. I'm taking the New England Patriots. You motherfucker. I was going to take them. God damn you. I'm taking them minus three and a half to beat the hapless. The hapless quarterback list.

Carolina Panthers. I left that on the board because you have not fucked with them all year. And I thought I was going to use son of a bitch. I thought you were going to take my Thursday night pick Thursday night, Paul. I'm ripping the bandaid off. All right. Oh boy. Mine is 10 and a half over the Jets on the road.

The Jets won last week. That was their fucking Super Bowl. The Colts lost last week at home to the Titans, to the Tennessee, right? To the Titans. I had that game. I had that game. That was a pick. I had the Titans.

I won on that money. That game. So I'm taking it. You know, they got what's his face there? A quarterback. What's it? What's his name? That fucking guy throws the ball.

He's throwing it all over the yard. Carson Wentz. Carson Wentz. He'll wrap your head with a fucking ratchet. Mine is 10 and a half over the Jets on the road. I can't believe you took my fucking Patriots. You motherfucker. Now who am I going to take?

You have first pick though. You could have done that. Well, Paul, I thought you were going to be all over the Chargers. You like, dude, you, I thought that you were on the Chargers fucking train. And that turned out to be a one night stand. You watch one game against Chargers and you were like, Holy shit. This fucking guy. I can't remember anybody's name this week.

Their quarterback there, Chris Henshey. Chris Henshey. What the fuck's his name? Justin Herbert. Justin Herbert. You were just like, this kid can fucking play. I got to get my Chargers thing in quick because they're only up. All right.

So I got, I got, I know I got to pick my last one. Yeah. Oh Christ. This is like the fucking, you know, that giant thing, you know, where you pull DVDs out at Walmart. This is my last. No, you just pick Colt. Well, you can look it up.

But yeah, Paul, it's your turn. Oh, you bastard. Guys, I'm going with Monday night for just another man. I'm taking the Pittsburgh Steelers who are flying right now, three in a row playing a Bears team that's up and down at home in Pittsburgh, Monday night football, six and a half. Tomlin's got the ship righted. Let's go Steelers. And they've been winning for me the last three times I picked them.

That's why I hated that game. I hate the Bears. You don't know who you're going to get. You know, I'm just stalling people. All these games look fucking terrible. Jacksonville versus the Bills. The Bills are going down there. Three, right?

Three. Am I really going to take the Bills given 14 and a half? All I got is favorites here. What the fuck? I hate that. I hate having a week like that. I want to take the Titans against the Rams, but Henry's out. I don't like that.

I don't like that at all. I don't give a shit, Paul. I'm not catching you this year. Fuck it. I got to make a bold move here. I'm taking the Buffalo Bills to cover 14 and a half against the Jacksonville Jaguars. They lose them by like 30 every week. You know what I mean?

They got that guy there. What was that fucking toy where the girls would just brush the hair like that was the whole toy? Oh, yeah. Not Barbie. It was like a troll doll or something like that. The guy with the troll doll hair, who's got, you know, he's got the guy going to Hooters, you know, getting hammered.

He's got all that money falling out of his pocket and all these horse start backing their ass up onto him. And then it's his, that guy, you know, I thought he was a victim in that one. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know who that guy is. You know, that guy is Paul. He coached the team there. That was the Ohio State.

Oh, yeah. I can never remember his name. Was it Jim Tressel? No, no, who was the coach of Ohio State? Oh, Urban Meyer. Is Urban Meyer still the coach at Jacksonville? Yeah. He's literally, I love how he went down there and then became a Florida man.

A Florida man was seen hammered in a sports bar. My last pick here. I don't know why this line. This is the most confusing line we've had all year. Why the fuck? Am I missing something? Are the San Francisco 49ers minus one against the Cardinals? That I've only lost one game and Kyler Murray is not hurt.

I don't know what's going on. I know JJ Watt is hurt, but you know what? I don't know why I didn't see that game. You're going to go to Arizona. I know. I know when that's when it's like, if they were like three point favorites, you kind of be like, okay, all right. I'm not fucking with the Packers and Chiefs.

I'm losing. I can't believe you took the Pats. You motherfucker. Oh, that's going to kill me to watch them win easily. I'm going to take the San Francisco 49ers to win that game. I don't know why. I'm going to take the 49ers minus one. It's basically a pick them in San Francisco.

I don't know. I just feel maybe San Francisco starting to play better. Maybe the Cardinals after their first loss. Who knows? Let's let's go. Let's roll the fucking dice. Okay, I don't know. I'm not going to say that that was fucked up because I don't feel like singing Peggy Lee

two weeks in a row, but I didn't see that one coming. I don't must be. You know what? I'm going to switch my bills bet and I'll take the air just so we can do a head to head. I'll take Arizona. I'll take the bills out. I'll take Arizona. You're crushing me on head to head.

Damn it. Paul, you do. You do Paul. I mean, the moves you're making here, Paul, this year. Monday night special. Monday night special. Oh, let them Monday night. It should be said that 2800 people took that bet last week.

2800. That means people who just bet with them GM saw your faces on the main page and said, I like these guys making America money and listeners. 2800 people. That's fucking awesome. And now we got Chicago Pittsburgh. And it's the Chicago Pittsburgh. Paul, I don't know shit about these teams and you got the hot hand, Paul, you know,

and I'm that franchise player, Paul, that knows if they're not going down, I'm passing the ball. What do you got here? You love your loving Pittsburgh, the money line, right? I love Pittsburgh, the money line. So let's do definitely Pittsburgh. What about Najee Harris? There's star new running back.

Najee Harris going in for a rushing touchdown. And when it's been Rothesburg, you're not going to throw a touchdown. You don't have to take a football. Yeah. Two. You might throw two. What do you think, Paul? I don't like that's 21 points right there.

Yeah. And with the Bears, who are like, sometimes they show up and they play. Sometimes they don't. But this is in Pittsburgh. Who do they have a quarterback? Brady Quinn, Mitch Mitchelson, Mitch Tabersky. Who do they got? Who do they?

No, they got the kid. Yeah, they got the kid from Ohio State, Justin Fields. Dude, I swear to God, there's field goal kickers walking down the street. Get recognized more than the fucking Chicago Bears quarterback. All the way back to what's his face there? Jim McMahon was the last Chicago quarterback that couldn't walk down the street. So Najee Harris gets a rushing touchdown. Steelers on the money line.

And what? You want to do big Ben throwing, big Ben throwing. Should we make it interesting? How about big Ben throwing a pass that goes more than like 40 yards? You want to do something like that? Paul, you love the down the field. You can add a fourth thing if you want. How about Willie Galt for a touchdown?

Who? He's from like 40 years ago. Sorry, go ahead. He goes, who? He was one of those track stars. They're like, you know what? Your body works great. Why don't you play football?

You're super fast. No one will catch you. How about this? This is a stretch, but tell me if you guys like it. Ben Rothesberger throws a touchdown that goes over 30 yards. Is that too much? Or can they make the fuck with the odds? Can you do that?

I think they can. I think they can pull. No, you know what? Fuck it. Fuck it. Let's make people money. Rothesberger throws a touchdown. Najee Harris gets a rushing touchdown.

And the Steelers with the money line. Yeah, I don't want to do like those yards like that. Big Ben is always like, he's like half bionic at this point. At this point in every season. You can add a fourth bet if you want. Like maybe you think Pittsburgh is going to get an interception. You want to do something like that? A fumble recovery.

Oof. Four. That's an unpaid poll. The Steelers get a fumble recovery? That's a ballsy one. You want to do that? People make big money, though. Yeah, the Pittsburgh Steelers.

That's what they do. Let's do that. Throw that one in. It's what they do. All four, though, still, right? We're not replacing anything. All four. All four.

So you listeners out there, if you want to stop with the first three. Paul, we hit two Monday night specials in a row. Especially with a four bet. We're meeting the mayor. All right, everybody. That has been the, uh, the bet MGM segment. Paul, you got to read the outro, right? Paul reads the outro.

Same as the intro. Same as the intro. Second verse. Same as the first. All right, guys, that's been our, uh, week nine. A picks. Hope you guys jump on with us with the, uh, bet MGM lines. Um, we are using, as you guys know, the greatest, greatest, uh, website to do.

This is bet MGM app line to make all of our picks. Um, and we'll have special offers for our listeners each week. If you haven't signed up to bet MGM yet, use a bonus code. Burr. That's B U R R. And you'll get a hundred dollars free after placing your first one dollar bet. Okay. Here's how it works.

You download the bet MGM app and sign up using bonus code Burr. That's B U R R. Place your first one dollar money line bet. Um, any NFL game, you'll receive a hundred dollars in free bets immediately after placing your bet, regardless of the outcome. Okay. So it's just there. Go have fun.

Bet with us. Just make sure that you use bonus code B U R R when you sign up. You have to be 21 years of age or older to wager in Arizona, Colorado, DC, Iowa, Indianapolis, Michigan, Minnesota, New Jersey, Nevada, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, or Wyoming only. Uh, new customer offer paid in free bets. Visit bet MGM.com for terms and conditions, uh, excludes Michigan disassociated persons. Please gamble responsibly gambling problem.

Call 1-800-NEXT-STEP for Arizona. Uh, 800-522-4700 for Colorado, DC, Nevada, Wyoming and Virginia. 800-270-7117 for confidential help, Michigan. 1-800-GAMBLER, Indianapolis, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia. 1-800-BETS-OFF for Iowa. Call or text the Tennessee red line. 800-889-9789 for Tennessee or call. 888-777-9696 for Minnesota.

Uh, sports betting is avoid in Georgia, Hawaii, Ohio and Utah and other states. Uh, we're prohibited. Uh, promotional offers not available in Nevada. All right. And that's our NFL picks. Once again, Tyler, thank you so much for coming on the show. Thank you so much for having me. This is a literal dream.

Okay. Well, I actually dreamed about this. I, I appreciate that. And I'm so thankful that you came here to do your project with us. And I hope we're going to get a second season. Once again, November 5th, Roku Immoral Compass. We'll, uh, have a great weekend, ya cunts. Enjoy the bonus episode of Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast.

And I'll talk to you on Monday. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's the Monday morning podcast from Monday, November 4th, 2013. How you doing? How are ya?

How's it going? You know, I'll fucking red faces in a good mood this week. Huh? You know why? Cause it's hockey season. No, I'm fucking with you. You know what it is? The Boston Red Sox, 2013 World Series Champions.

And I was there to see it. Not in person. I watched it on TV. You know, and I gotta tell you. All the emotions I had from jumping on the bandwagon from game one of the American League Divisional Series. You know what I realized through watching all that playoff baseball? I fucking love hockey. Hockey is, I'm not even gonna say how great the fucking game is because I don't want you guys to watch it because that'll ruin it.

And then somehow hockey players will be wearing pink in October. All right. By the way, I'm loving all those stories that are coming out about how little money actually goes to breast cancer research. Not because I'm pro breast cancer. For you knee jerk fucking cunts out there. It's just because from day one, if you couldn't see the money making scam that that was. And then also on the other side to try and get more female fans. Okay, if you can't do the fucking math on that, you know, the rest of it goes.

So anyways, yeah, the Red Sox won it, man. It's fantastic. Hey Seattle, this is how the song supposed to go. We are the champions, my friends. I love it. You know what the best part about the fucking Red Sox winning was watching was Paul Verzi immediately sent me a text and he said congrats. And I knew he didn't mean it. And it took about four, five, you know, it was, it was the Red Sox parade.

Something happened. And now Paul Verzi. All right. A New York Yankee fan is now telling me how arrogant Boston sports fans are. I mean, I'll listen to that. To anybody else in any other fucking city, but to hear that from a fucking Yankee fan. Are you kidding me? And then he starts bringing up steroids.

A fucking Yankee fan. Bringing up steroids. Yeah. Well, you wouldn't know for me. Really? You ever think maybe Manny had to do steroids because he was facing a roided up Roger Clemens. A roided up Andy Pettit. Let's go around your infield.

Roided up Jason Giambi. Roided up fucking A-Rod. Oh, now we're up to the outfield. Roided up Gary Sheffield. The fucking Yankees from the late nineties right through the 2000s were a fucking steroid. Steroid factory. Yeah. And a 2015 fucking million dollar team.

Jesus Christ. But I don't begrudge them. I don't begrudge them any of their fucking titles. It was the steroid era. Okay. You knew what era it was. If you weren't doing steroids, that's on you. You know, it's like you're in the music business and it's the late seventies.

You don't want to play disco. Well, have a nice fucking time. Playing in front of eight people with your Gregorian chant or whatever the fuck it is you want to do. It was the steroid era. I'll tell you right now, we're all going to fucking be on them. They're gradually, gradually going to become legal and all of this shit that everybody's talking about. Come on, look at these fucking guys. You know, I love all these guys, how they get hurt later on in their careers.

And then they go to Germany and they like, I don't know what they're doing over in Germany, but God knows those fucking maniacs love experimenting on human beings. These people are coming back. The Peyton Mannings, the fucking Kobe, Kobe's going to come back made out of titanium and they're going to give all the credit, the drive, the determination, the competitiveness this guy has to return from such an injury. I'm telling you right now, if you want to rewind the clock and come back like fucking Lee Majors and the six million dollar man, you go to fucking Germany. I don't know what the fuck they're doing over there.

I had a buddy of mine recently was talking about that they take blood out of you and they fucking spin it around in this fucking centrifuge. Oh, is that what they're doing? Let me a fucking break. My fucking leg is killing me because I ran like two feet down the street the other day at 45 years of age. These guys can play tackle football until 40. I know I'm not a professional athlete, but I am a human being. All right, I'm not going to name any fucking names, but there's a lot of people. Dude, when I was a kid, 35 was the breaking point.

And when you were 37, you were fucking ancient. People won't even, chess players could continue on at 37 golfers. But that was it. You, you were fucking dust. It was over. These fucking guys, you know, they'll blow out their knee at 41, 42 and come back a year later and have a career fucking year. What did it take us like what a couple hundred thousand years to walk up, right? All of a sudden the knee has evolved that far in fucking 15 years.

I don't know what I'm talking about, but I'm just saying, all right. Oh my God, dude, Verzi, I have never seen him whine. He's so fucking pissed that they're calling Boston title town. I mean, what else are you going to call Boston? Three Super Bowls, three World Series and NBA title got fucked out of another one with those corrupt refs. But whatever, we'll give it to him. Yeah, yeah, whatever. Game seven call 35 files on us and 16 on the other team.

That's fine. That's good. Let's watch him win it from the line and a Stanley Cup championship. They've won eight fucking titles in 10 years with only four teams. The entire state of New York at this point is what those are 10 fucking teams. New York City next year when the Islanders move there, they're going to have two hockey teams, two basketball teams, two football teams, two baseball teams, and they've never had a 10 year run like this. The fucking Green Bay Packers.

If Green Bay, Wisconsin can be considered title town in the 60s with one fucking team, you know. Yeah, I'd say we earn it. I'm not saying that throughout all of sports history, Boston is title town. But right now, the last 10 fucking years, be honest with yourself, get past your hatred of fucking Boston. Just look at it on paper. Who would you rather be? You and the success your team had or what happened in Boston? I had nothing to do with it.

I'm not being arrogant. I'm just stating the fucking facts. All right. And the fact is, I was watching Game, what the fuck, Game Six. And at one point, you know, the change in our goddamn pitchers, and it's taken for fucking ever. And I click over to watch a little bit of the Bruins-Penguins game. And it was right when they had a fight right off the face off in the third period. I forget the guy in the Penguins name, name of the guy in the Penguins, but he's fucking hilarious.

He's in the middle of a fight and he's sitting there smiling, looking in the other direction, staying out of the way of the Bruins guys, right? You know, you can tell there's a lot of new Bruins this year, and I've been watching baseball. So I got to get caught up. And it was just instantly the fight was over. And then we watched like two minutes of the game. And I fuck it. I'm going to say that game was more exciting than Game Six of the World Series.

Maybe it's just me, how I'm wired. I watched the replay of the Bruins. I taped a bunch of Bruins games and I'm getting caught up. I watched the Bruins Islanders game. And that was a ridiculously fucking exciting game. Jesus Christ, Thomas Vanicht is that guy fucking owned the Bruins or what? He's killing us. I'm going to try to make it out, by the way, to an Islanders game before they close that place down.

I'd like to do that and also go to a 49ers game. I got it. I mean, I've been to both places, but it is the last year. I haven't been to Nassau Coliseum. I think I went there in 88 or 89. And I went to an Islanders Rangers game. I know I talked about this before, but that's a legendary building. And I think it's sad that they're leaving and they're going to go to Brooklyn.

Are they going to be the Brooklyn Islanders? I don't know. I've always liked the Islanders except for when they beat the Bruins and the fuck that they beat us. Maybe 83. No, 83 be choked to the Canadians. Somewhere in there, we met them in the playoffs and I thought we were going to have a run there. It was during their dynasty. Oh, by the way, I saw some fucking moron Red Sox fan.

It said 2004, 2007, 2013, Red Sox dynasty. Who the fuck taught like the definition of a dynasty? I swear to God is like, it's just going. Somebody has to stop it from its freefall. I remember in the Patriots, we won three in four years and it was called a dynasty. And that was the first time I'm like, wait a minute. A dynasty has always been, you have to win three in a row. Two in a row is a repeat.

Three is a dynasty and then like however long you can make that go. And as far as I know, my knowledge in professional sports, I think the record in hockey and baseball is both five by the Yankees and the Canadians, of course. And, and then let's see in basketball, Celtics with nine, which I mean, I don't know, I mean, it's like literally the beginning of the NBA. I look at a lot of that shit, you know, those championships you win in the 23 Skadoo years when the fucking league is just getting started, you know, like the league is so new that if you just walked in with a microphone and a PA system, you would be the team's fucking announcer during the game. You know, those old guys, 80 year old guys when they talk about, you know, how did you get your start, you know, announcing for the Milwaukee box? Well, I, you know, I saw the paper that they had a game and I came down with a microphone. And that was about it for 50 years later, you know, like now it's just so, it's so locked down.

So there is that weird thing. And it's also that's that weird thing about sports where like each sport has that team that just went on that fucking run when this shit was just getting established and they got so out in front that no one can. Oh, is that really right? I don't know. The Lakers caught the Celtics, which I'll catch it up to them. That's what I think is the most impressive thing because they did it from 1970 on, which is basically the free agent era and all that. So that's the most impressive one. Canadians in Maple Leafs went blow for blow until 67. The Celtics are a good example of it. And the Yankees to a little bit of an extent, you know, it's like they won a ton before, you know, anybody other than white guys were allowed to play. But you can't fuck with going from Ruth to Gary to DiMaggio to Mantle like no one will ever fuck. Although, although the Pittsburgh Penguins, they're halfway there. No, I would just, I guess I wouldn't say that.

Dude, they went Mario Lemieux, Yarmira Yager to Gino and fucking Sidney Crosby. That's pretty impressive in this day and age in a 20 year period. You know, Peyton Manning to Andrew Luck. It's just not, you know, it's too early. It's too early to look back. I don't know. I don't know what the fuck am I talking about? This is the Monday Morning Podcast, everybody. And what did I do this? I had a fucking great week. I'm back out on the road this week and I'm doing a tune up show tonight at Flappers out in Burbank. I'm going to make sure I give everybody their money's worth this weekend because coming up, I got arguably the biggest week of shows I've ever had. I'm at Constitution Hall in Washington, D.C. And for you comedy nerds like myself, that's where Eddie Murphy taped Delirious. And I believe Martin Lawrence also taped a special there. So I got to bring the A game for that one.

And then the next night, I'm at the Beacon Theater. And then the last night, I'm at Upper Darby. People keep saying, stop saying it's Philly. I mean, to me, it's 15 minutes from downtown Philly, Upper Darby, whatever the fuck you want to call it. I'm at the Tower Theater and I'll be bringing along the most bitter sports fan that I know in this moment right now, Paul Versey. Dude, he was so fucking mad that the Red Sox won. He even brought up the Celtics. They have pile on championship. Okay, in 2008, which I've always admitted to, and I felt the Kevin Garnett trade should have been investigated, considered Kevin Kale was like the fucking whatever was running shit for the Timberwolves. Okay, and I'll listen like once again, I'll listen to anybody give me shit about that other than a fucking New Yorker. He's going to give me shit about buying a New Yorker is going to give me shit about buying a fucking championship. Really 77 78 Oakland A's slash fucking New York Yankees. The 1994 Edmonton Oilers slash New York Rangers give me a fucking break and then I don't even need to bring up the Yankees 99 2000 2009 get the fuck out of here.

Fucking jerk off. Anyways, what am I talking about here? Yeah, I had an unreal we I got to do a little bit advertising here. Sorry, I'm a little bit all over over the place. I got to get some bullshit I have to do today before I run over to the club. I did a benefit last night for pit bulls down at Largo and I got to admit I was a little fucking out of sorts. I've been in a weird mood. I've just been enjoying I've been home for like two weeks for the first two straight weeks in a row this year and I got to tell you I did not miss going on the road kind of scared me. You know, sat around making pumpkin bread and shit wearing a fucking apron. The hell's wrong with me. I got to get back out on the road. I'm going to retire dollar shave club everybody. This is this this one right here is this is killing it right here. Everybody loves this anybody with whiskers be you a fucking male or a hairy woman. This one is for you dollar shave club for a couple of bucks a month dollar shave club.com delivers amazing quality razors right to your door. Not only does it save you a ton of cash, but it saves you from trudging to the drugstore for a pack of blades. I always get stuck behind the lady paying for all her loose change from the car ashtray. Is that me supposed to be saying that no I don't I usually get stuck behind the family is seven.

We want to develop pictures get some ice cream and also I don't know buy some Listerman Listerman Listerine. I don't know what the fuck it is. It's like she thinks exacts change is a requirement. Anyways, but with dollar shave club for just a couple of bucks a month amazing quality razor blades that delivered right to your door people. That's right no more wasting time and no more getting up getting hit for 20 bucks every time you buy razors. Everybody here is getting their dollar shave club blades and you should too. I should really look at these before they send these to me. Okay, it's not everybody here. It's me. It's just me. All right, me and my split personality. All right, here's a genius idea try replacing your old shaving cream with Dr. Carver's easy shave butter butter from dollarshaveclub.com trust me your face will thank you later I've used that stuff it's great. Don't waste time at the drugstore behind the lady with paying and pennies go to dollarshaveclub.com forward slash burr or go to billburr.com and click on the dollarshaveclub banner. Keep your stress level low and your bank account balance high shave shave time shave money with dollarshaveclub.com.

All right, there we go. E voice. If you are an entrepreneur. Hey, who isn't two things keep you up at night increasing revenue and controlling expenses. E voice is a simple technology that helps you do both. How do you do that? Well, I'll tell you. Let's start with revenue. E voice helps you make sure that everyone who calls your business is treated like gold. You get your own toll field toll free or local number. You can set up a dial. Jesus Christ. You can set up a dial by name directory or have calls instantly routed anywhere. Your cell phone your house your partner or assistant or all of the above E voice even transcribes your voicemails and emails them to you so you can prioritize when and how you want to respond without interrupting your workflow with E voice. You can never leave money on the table. Just go to the podcast page at billburr.com and click on the E voice banner or go to E voice.com slash billburr. E voice also cuts your expenses by acting as your business phone system and your receptionist. This technology could save your business hundreds of thousands of dollars. E voice starts out at only 10 bucks per month. With that you can get plus that I'm sorry plus you can get a free 30 day trial right now. When you go to the podcast page page at billburr.com and click on the E voice banner or go to E voice.com slash billburr. That's my website billburr.com and click on the E voice banner or go to E voice.com slash billburr.

All right. Let me just try reading slower and annunciating. Let me see if this helps me. Hulu plus Hulu plus everyone you've probably tried Hulu dot com. Now with Hulu plus you can watch your favorite shows anytime anywhere. Hulu plus lets you watch thousands of hit shows and a selection of acclaimed movies on your television or on the go with your smartphone or tablet. And guess what it all streams in HD for the best viewing experience with Hulu plus you can watch your favorite current TV shows like SNL community and Family Guy. You could also check out exclusive content including Hulu originals like The Awesomes starring SNL Seth Meyers and Moon Boy starring Chris O'Dowd from Bridesmaids. Hulu plus also offers a great selection of acclaimed films for only 799 a month you can stream as many TV shows and movies as you want wherever you want. Right now you can try Hulu plus free for two weeks when you go to Hulu plus dot com slash bill. That's a special offer for my listeners. Make sure you use Hulu plus dot com slash bill so you get the extended free trial and then also they'll know that we sent you go to Hulu plus dot com slash bill now or click the Hulu plus banner on the podcast page at billburr.com. All righty back to the podcast. All right here's one that I've been keeping an eye on over the last couple by the way dude I tried another you know I've been sober here for fucking 13 days.

I like it. I like it in the morning. I hate it at night. In the morning I want to hug somebody but at night I you know I don't know what I want to do but I want to inflict pain on somebody. So I've just been trying to fill up those times with some that I used to booze and I'm not done forever people. I'm coming back. All right. Just like Mariana Rivera. I'm coming back. I tried you know I tried to make homemade ravioli for the first time. Okay and like an asshole rather than just trying to make the homemade ravioli and making a simple ricotta filling just keeping it simple like that or maybe just making a skinny right. What does old Billy fuckface do he tries to make a braised short rib ravioli with this mushroom gravy on top it was like trying to make three fucking entrees. By myself already knew how to make braised short ribs so I had to go through that whole fucking process just to get the filling for the ravioli that I had never made. So for the first time in my life my mother bought me one of those kitchen aid mixes like seven years ago and I have never used it.

The fucking thing weighs more than the goddamn Stanley Cup and I finally took this thing out of the back of my poor excuse for a pantry and I set it down and I had the pasta making attachment and I can't even tell you how fucking excited I was. So I watched the Sicilian woman I'll send you the link to it where she makes she makes this homemade pasta semolina with your fucking perfect just you just look at her she's she's from Sicily. It's not like she's Sicilian and she's lived over here for a couple of I'll just show it to you when you look at her Fred Sanford fucking hands you know that she's been needing pasta dough since the day she came out of the womb and she knew what the fuck she was doing. So the pot the dough actually came out all right I probably should have needed it a little bit more but I didn't have that. The ravioli thing where it's like you're like a notary public and you got to stamp it down so I make the fucking. I make the fucking ravioli. It actually came out really good I could have mixed it a little bit more there's a little bit of granulated semolina semolina so I kind of fucked it up a little bit. And I put my filling in there caramelized onions with braised short ribs and a little bit of carrots in there.

Fucking delicious sticking in this shit and I go to make these things and I fucked up on two levels one I didn't seal them correctly and two I made them too big. Because I guess when you drop them in the water when they're done is when they float but mine was so big they were like fucking barges and they were just floating up top and they weren't sealed and all the fucking all the fucking filling came out of them in them it was a fucking mess. It was an absolute fucking mess and I almost started crying it took me like that entire process took about five and a half hours. It took me three hours. To fucking braise the short ribs get all the ingredients braised the short ribs in the fucking Dutch oven. And it just I didn't you know what I didn't waste the day you learn something in your failures I know how to caramelize onion. I know how to fucking reduce that goddamn sauce down to a fucking gravy the douchebag with the YouTube video the way you edited the shit together you made it seem like that took five minutes.

So I sort of already started sauteing my mushrooms you cunt and you fucking left half of the ingredients off of your shit because you won that cooking contest with it all right. And I get it you want to be a celebrity chef so you don't want to tell all your fucking secrets so why don't you put up a recipe of PB and J next time instead of having this vague thing and having me waste my whole fucking Saturday you cunt. Forget it. All right. So anyways but a homemade pasta not that hard to do. I'm going to do it again tonight picking myself up off the mat unlike George Foreman when my league got knocked him down back in the day. Right. I'm getting up.

I'm coming out. I'm going to try spaghetti tonight making it nice and simple. All right. I got a prego sauce. I don't give a fuck. I'm keeping I'm working at one working on my pasta game tonight. And that'll be easy. I got the attachment you just you know send it through number one a couple of times and then two then up to three I think and then I'll put the fucking skinny attachment on and I'll send it right through the fucker and that's going to be it.

That's what I'm hoping. Jesus Christ what happened to me. You know what happened I stopped drinking. That's what happened when I stopped drinking. All right the booze goes away and the apron comes out of the drawer. By the way do you know we didn't celebrate Halloween this year. I was really that was Nia's call because of all the all the fucking assholes who came to our house last year who were well beyond the age of being able to trick or treat. So instead we went to the Clippers Warriors game and what a fucking team the Warriors have man.

I'm actually thinking about getting the fucking NBA package because I don't watch enough sports right. It was ridiculous the fucking game was like it was like an all star game as far as the was like 120 something to 120 something. We went to the game and being stone sober at a game and just taking in the level of mouth breathing fucking drunk morons that go to the game. That was really eye opening. I just was sitting there like wow that that guy is me except I'm sober right now. I watched this drunk fat couple in front of me get hammered out of their minds and then order this big thing and nachos and then feed them to each other like this. Like they were in Lady in the Tramp. It's one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen but like if I was hammered I would have been like oh look at their in love.

So I'm basically I'm going to try and stay sober until until I go over to Europe and then all bets are off all bets. I mean like I'm going to go to Italy and I'm not going to fucking drink some wine. Give me a fucking break right. Anyways and speaking over there in Europe. This is a story that I've been keeping up on is the the Greenpeace 30 the Greenpeace 30. Okay now for those of you who haven't been paying paying attention or haven't listened to the podcast really quickly. It was a group of 28 Greenpeaceers. Is that the correct word Greenpeace people and and two journalists and they decided that they were going to board a Russian oil rig by basically somehow shooting their ropes up there

and climbing up the side of it and they got arrested by Russian Navy SEALs. They were charged with piracy as you would think that they would and they've all been you know all the Greenpeace supporters and their family members. They're all outraged thinking that the Russians are overreacting and and when we last saw them. Let me click on this. When we last saw them they were in a jail in Murmansk Russia which at this time of year it's dark 24 hours. And and they were actually going to drop the piracy charges from piracy down to hooliganism. But this is what's happened this week. Arctic 30 being moved from Murmansk to St. Petersburg.

St. Petersburg is out of the Arctic Circle and now you're basically just south of Finland. And I want to say that that's the city that Finland had to give back to the Russians even though they beat them in World War Two. They had to give them back just because they sided with angry Charlie Chaplin over there. All right Amsterdam November 1st 2013 Greenpeace International understands from diplomatic sources that the 30 men and women detained in Russia following a peaceful protest. That's what they said. Peaceful protest. Like there was nothing peaceful about that. It was somewhere between peaceful and an act of war as far as I'm concerned. You just don't go out into international waters and just without permission board somebody else's vehicle.

You can't do shit like that. All right. But they consider it a peaceful protest against an Arctic oil platform and are being moved from a detention center in Murmansk to a jail in St. Petersburg. You like how they completely ignore the fact that they tried to board the fucking thing. It's not like they just showed up and kind of drove around it with signs saying hey man fucking knock it off. Lawyers for Greenpeace are not aware of the reasons for the move. Greenpeace International Exector Directive Kumi Naigol said that the detainees this is what this Kumi person said. The detainees shouldn't be in jail at all.

They should be free to join their families and restart their lives. St. Petersburg has some daylight in the winter months unlike Murmansk. Families and consular officials will now find it easy to visit the 30 but there is no guarantee that conditions inside the new detention center will be any better than in Murmansk. In fact they could be worse. There is no justification whatsoever to keep the Arctic 30 in prison for a day longer. I love how they just completely ignore that they broke the law. I don't know what law it is. I'm completely uninformed but I know you just can't go around boarding other countries fucking oil.

I wouldn't even do that to Exxons and they're allegedly on my team. Anyways they are prisoners of conscience who acted out of determination to protect us all and they should be free. Now that I don't disagree with but the way you fucking went about it. So here's the thing Greenpeace today released photographs blah blah blah. So as of last week they allegedly dropped the piracy charges but I guess they're saying they haven't now. All they've done is tacked on hooligan charges. So they now stand accused of both offenses which carry a maximum sentence of 15 years for piracy and 7 years for hooliganism respectively. Alright so I don't know.

I don't disagree with Greenpeace or that type of thing but I hope that they learned that you can't just go around boarding Russian oil platforms. And just because you know it's a peaceful. I mean Jesus Christ I mean that's like I don't know somewhere in there there's a protest. There's that gray area between a protest and an act of war like that shit that's going on between China and Japan right now. They're fighting over those islands. I forget who said somebody's going to shoot down another person's drones. And the other country is going to consider it a fucking act of war if they do it. I got to tell you man that will be fucking insane if Japan and China go at it.

Who do you like? Who do you like in that dogfight? Let's just say for once the United States stays out of it and Russia stays out of it. And if the two of them were just going to throw it out I would just think sheer numbers. China has to have them. They've got to have. You know and those islands are closer to China so that's more home field advantage for them. I don't know. Is it weird that I want to see it? That's fucked up right? I'm just sick of like you know it's like when the Yankees and Red Sox played each other like to the point they just they pat each other play each other for 30 years.

I got burned out in that rivalry. I just wanted to watch somebody else I started watching the Royals. I'm sick of watching the fucking the US go at it with everybody. I want to watch Japan. I want to watch two other countries have a nice fucking throw down. I want to see it. Pay-per-view. Japan versus China. Who do you like? You know technicians versus fucking Smash Mouth football. Alright enough with me sounding fucking stupid trying to talk about international shit.

What a dream come true this week everybody. Aside from watching just Paul Verzi. Oh my God was he a fucking baby. He was pulling out all the stops last night. He fucking hates Boston. And then he tried to tell me all the reasons why he loved Boston to justify his hatred of Boston. You know he basically gave me the sports analogy of the classic no no no wait my best friend is African American. That's what he did but he did it in a sports you know it was fucking horrific.

I think the people are funny. I like the food. Shut the stop trying to give yourself credibility. Please please listen to the Paul Verzi podcast the Verzi effect this week. I'm sure he's going to be going off if you're as a Red Sox fan you should really listen to him. You got to listen to him pissing moan about their beards and all of that shit. It's just going to be fucking music to my goddamn ears. And all he does is he just brings up the fact that the Giants beat the Patriots twice. I don't give a fuck.

We still won three Super Bowls. I would rather who would you rather fucking be. And I'm not giving all New York fans shit. I'm just talking specifically to Verzi. Anybody else there who's a whiny fucking cunt. Who God knows I'm a hypocrite because I've been a whiny cunt about the Lakers and the Yankees and every the Canadians. It's just fun to be on the other side of the whining. And now I get to act like I'm a fucking perfect person.

Yeah I am a hypocrite. Go fuck yourself. I stand by it. Anyways the other dream that had come true is I've been I've been gradually for like I would say I don't know. Whenever Mike Johnston started doing those drum lessons whenever I stumbled upon him. I was still living in New York I believe when I first found him back in like 07 or whatever. And you know I found these drum lessons online and I just kept going from guy to guy to guy. And then I stopped at this guy Mike Johnston and he was just head and shoulders above everybody else that I saw out there. And the stuff that he was teaching and the way broke it down. And his whole philosophy the whole pattern speed movement the whole fucking thing that he did was just I don't know it just really connected with me.

So for years I was thinking you know some point I'm going to see that guy either at a clinic and I'm going to take you know maybe take a lesson one or the other blah blah blah blah blah. Long story short he came down to the new recess studios in Santa Ana California which is right down in Orange County California. If you're playing a band and you don't want to play in some grimy horrific rehearsal space like most of them are with like fucking stains in the rug. From Grand Funk Railroad 40 fucking years earlier when they weren't even famous. If you want to play in just state of the art awesome facility recess studios in Santa Ana California. Anyways long story short I guess the guy who opened the place was one of Mike Johnston's drum students. And he was talking about opening a rehearsal place and Mike said well if you ever open one I'll come down for free and do a drum clinic. So that's how I ended up going down there and I reached out to Mike and he goes hey why don't you come down and take a fucking lesson.

He didn't say fucking he's much more classier guy than I am and I got to knock that out and it was the shit. So I'm sober I'm cooking and I took drum lessons from a fucking drum god this week and now I have to go back to fucking LAX tomorrow where somebody shot up a fucking TSA agent. And I have been a grumpy cunt on stage my last two shows. I'm getting nervous everybody I think I'm getting old I'm getting too old to do the fucking road I got to you know what I got to go to Germany. Like Peyton Manning and those guys I need I need to fucking get up have them spin my blood around some centrifuge or whatever the fuck you call it but anyways I'm getting off track so thank you to Mike Johnston. Unbelievably patient dealing with my drumming and helping me try and improve and you know if you play drums or whatever I highly recommend going to Mike's lessons dot com and he's just state of the art. You can Skype in and watch the guy you know do live lessons. Like he is at the forefront of all of that and on top of all of that he's a phenomenal drummer and will break down any basically if you can get in touch with him anything that he did he'll break it down as slow as you want.

He's just he's the shit so that was my week and with that with that. Let me let me. Oh and also something else I'm not going to say who it was but someone else I know. Has one of those those cars Tesla's. And I got to drive one and ride in one it was the fastest fucking car I've ever been in it's 100% electric so all you guys who wrote all that homophobic shit about my Prius know that my Prius is actually a gas combustion engine. Past five miles an hour it's a big fucking scam it's only electric from under five. And five miles an hour and under but this was actually a full on electric car and it was fucking insane. The back of my head was tingling I think that was blood going to the back of my head we got up to 60 miles an hour so goddamn fast.

And he didn't even have the fast one. He had I guess the slower version of it and you can drive from San Diego all the way up to the border of Canada. And charge the car right now it takes 30 minutes to charge it you can go 350 miles. Most of the charges I guess are in rest area so you just sit down you have something to eat check your fucking messages. I know it's 30 minutes but whatever you pull into a gas station you get a slim gym you go in there you take a shit right that's 10 minutes. You know what the one thing I didn't ask was how much the electricity cost. I have no idea but I guess their goal is you're going to be able to hopefully by 2014 drive from Los Angeles to New York City. But I don't know if you got the money because they're not cheap dude it was insane.

I wanted to I guess all the batteries are under the car and I wanted to look under and see him. And the guy was like well it's going to look like a skateboard underneath the car and it was insane. There was a couple things that he said and I forgot to ask he said there's no fluid in the car. And I'm thinking all right well it's all batteries so you don't need to you don't need any antifreeze you don't need any oil. There's no transmission no transmission fluid but I forgot to ask him about the braking system you gotta have brake fluid right. You know what's funny as I could just probably look it up but if you get a chance definitely check those things out. And this guy was telling me that there's people with drag strips that will take like to some guy he has a Datsun. Just a regular Datsun from the 70s it's all electric power and he fucking wings in the quarter mile drag races all the time all the time.

Which makes me feel great because for years I defended the Prius in electrical power by saying you can get on a subway and that can move a thousand people. At like 35 40 miles an hour during rush hour in New York City you think a fucking car if they really wanted to make one with electrical power couldn't be fast. Well I finally experienced it so I don't know I'm really babbling this week. Let's get to the let's get the questions for this week. Pumpkin bread hey Billy Crocker tell us something exciting about the pumpkin bread making experience. As if you were doing sports center coverage of what went down during the process. Dude what is this like a fucking improv class. I don't know.

I don't know what to tell you I already told you about the disaster. I might you know what I did I already did it with my my my Bray short rib ravioli. That was like talking about the Red Sox collapse in September last year that's as close as I'm going to get. And I don't know we got a we're going to switch it up this week with a bunch of international emails. Take a break from the relationship advice. Listen to this one this one's from Peru. Dear Billy holiday. I am from Peru and I love your comedy.

I wish I could say Peru loves you but I haven't met many people who have heard of you. I think you should come and perform here. Well what the fuck to who. If you I'm to you why don't you just have a birthday party and I'll fly down there. Take me to a soccer game and I'll do stand up and I'll bomb in front of all your relatives. As they stare at me and my lack of pigment anyways nobody knows me down there but for some reason I should go there and perform. He says but I don't know how many people would understand your humor. He said he said a gold digging whore would be a good thing here because it would mean she gave out sex and also what's so bad about a girl who digs digs for gold.

That's better than that's better than a girl that doesn't you know I forgot you guys actually have minds down there and that's actually a job. You know for an individual rather than a giant machine. Anyway she says that's what people here would think don't feel bad though because I think the most people here don't know who Bill Cosby is. Listen. If I somehow could get through Rosetta Stone Spanish. And learn how to speak your language if you think I wouldn't come down to Peru. I'd actually would read up I mean do you guys hate us down there too. I really don't feel like getting kidnapped by some sort of rebel group.

And I hate to admit it but to me that's what a lot of South America is because that's what I see. I see although you know killing Pablo I read that book. I probably I probably haven't read a lot of good things about South America. Yeah. It's cocaine cowboys. It's Nazi war criminals. It's the most perfect asses in the world in Brazil. And I don't know.

I don't know what else it is. It's the Galapagos Islands. That's arrested abroad. It's the hand of God soccer move by that fucking guy. Was it Vince Farragamo. I don't know a lot about down there. You know if I could go down there and you could guarantee that I wouldn't get kidnapped. I wouldn't get stabbed because of some horrific shit that we do in our foreign policy down there.

I would definitely go down there. I've been to Costa Rica. That's the closest I ever got to to South America. But that is on my bucket list of some I want to go to all the continents other than Antarctica. I don't I have no reason to fucking go there. All right. Anyways, let me know. You guys open an English speaking comedy club down there.

I'll fly down there. That's a promise. All right from Dublin. All right there Billy Red Boy. Big fan blah blah blah. I only recently found out about your podcast and been listening to them instead of the depressing shit that's played on our radio station. Dude the difference in work my work days from listening to your comedy and laughing my ass off in the car was immense. The urge to punch some of my managers.

I have to deal with on a daily basis and turn has turned from a vein popper to just saying go fuck yourself in my head and laughing in their faces. So thank you for that and keep it up. Can't wait for the Dublin gig. I've got tickets that I'm going to bring a date. So it's going to be a great night. Thanks for penciling us in on your tour. I'll buy you a pint in Vickers Street. Go fuck yourself.

All right. That was just sort of a love letter. There's really no advice there. Well now that you brought it up. I got to do my I got to give you my dates here. For the big European tour. When I fall off the wagon. I'm going to fall off hard but I'm over there.

I already got some drinking buddies in England that I met the last time I was over there and another friend. That's coming down from Scotland. So right there. You know how that's going to go down. Where the hell are we shows bang right there. The first one December 4th Glasgow Scotland December 5th. I'm in Amsterdam December 7th. I'm at the forum in London for three shows.

Oh wait. I'm sorry December 8th. I'm also at the forum in London. So one of those nights I'm doing two shows three total December 9th. I'm at Vickers Street Dublin Ireland December 10th. I'm at the Savoy Theatre in Helsinki Finland two shows December 11th. I'm at the Bremen Theatre in Copenhagen Denmark. On December 12th.

I can't even read the name in Oslo Norway the. The folky T. Teteret folka Teteret. I don't know what the fuck that is. I'm at the Circus in Stockholm Sweden on December 13th. And on December 15th. I'm at the Silferberg Hall in Reykjavik. Reykjavik however you say it Iceland.

There you go. And I'm going to be boozing it up flying solo. I usually travel with the lovely Nia but. She's done that run with me a number of times. She's a trooper. I mean you can see that's just like a that is definitely a thrash. But she's coming with me to Italy. We're going to have a good time over there.

And then I'm flying off and she's going to stay in Italy. With some friends. His daddy goes out and makes some fucking money. All right. That's how it works. All right. Let's get back to do the final. Advertising reads here.

All right. Legal zoom everyone. Legal zoom. There are two reasons why now is the perfect time to start your business. Reason number one. The longer you wait the longer you delay your potential success. Reason two. Right now you can incorporate your business or form an LLC.

At legal zoom.com for just $99. Legal zooms online process guides you step by step. And you can get total customer support. They couldn't make it much easier. Legal zoom provides self-help services at your specific direction. And can connect you to an attorney. But they are not a law firm. So save a pile of money.

Oh so you save a pile of money. Get an extra discount when you enter BRBURR in the referral box. Check out. Don't wait on the sidelines while others are taking charge of their futures. Now is the best time to get in the game and launch your business. Don't put this off for incorporation, trademarks, patents and more. Just go to legal zoom.com right now. Discount code BRR.

That's legal zoom.com. Discount code BRR. Stamps.com everyone the classic. Here we go. Stamps.com. Think about how many hours you've had to waste. Think about how many hours you've had to waste going to the post office for business, for your business. Driving there, parking, waiting for the next available clerk.

There's nothing I can do to get those hours back for you. But I can save you time moving forward with Stamps.com. Stamps.com brings all the services of the U.S. Postal Service right to your desk 24-7. I am print official U.S. Postage using your own computer and printer. Stamps.com will send you a digital scale and it instantly calculates the exact postage for any letter or package, any class of mail. There's no guesswork. It's easy. Then just hand your mail to the mailman and you'll never waste time at the post office ever again.

I use Stamps.com to send out all my DVDs, my posters, whatever the hell it is I'm trying to get to the thing, the gig or whatever. If I can use it, if a more unlike me can figure it out, then God knows you can too. Right now, use my last name, Burr, for this special offer, no risk trial, plus $110 bonus offer that includes the digital scale and up to $55 free postage. Don't wait. Go to Stamps.com before you do anything else. Click on the microphone at the top of the page of the homepage and type in Burr, B-U-R-R, that's Stamps.com enter Burr. And finally, VistaPrint. What is VistaPrint?

You ask yourself. It's a business card that says a lot about you and your business. What? This copy makes no sense. Let me start over again. I'm just going to read it the way they wrote it. Take two. VistaPrint, a business card says a lot about you and your business.

Are you a hardworking landscaper, a hip and funky salon owner, a loyal dog walker? No matter what you are or what kind of business you have, VistaPrint.com has thousands of designs to just say what you want. And today, we just got word of a great offer on their business cards. Get 250 of their premium cards for only 10 bucks. The shipping is on them too. Good Lord, 10 bucks for 250 business cards. Christ, they're giving it away. I created my cards the other.

No, I didn't. Stop putting words in my mouth. I didn't create any cards, but I'm going to because it's only $250 a month. It's a great deal. I don't need to lie. VistaPrint has so many designs to choose from that you're bound to find one of these that says just what you want. Once you find the card you like, design the process itself. It's easy and it's fun.

Add text, photos or logos and you can change colors, fonts and move things around. So again, that's 250 high quality business premium cards with shipping included for only 10 bucks. Go to www.VistaPrint.com. Click on the herd of us on radio TV button in the upper right hand corner and put in the promotional code bird. Good Lord. As you check out, make sure you take a look at the other marketing products they offer like postcards, flyers, brochures and websites. They can even match your business card. Get 250 premium business cards for only 10 bucks including the shipping.

Just go to www.VistaPrint.com. Click on the herd of us. I give up. Click on the herd of us TV radio button in the upper right hand corner and put in the promotional code bird. You know what? I'm going to hire somebody to read these things for me. All right. Somebody with a nice sexy fucking voice.

And I'll be, I'll be equal opportunity. Male, female, straight, gay. We, we got to do something about these reads. Okay. I can't read them. And now they're trying to do this, this phony put in a personal touch like I'm using all of these products. Okay. I believe in all of these products, but I don't use all of them.

All right. I'm only one man. I can't use everything out there. All right. Here we go. Let's get back to the reads for this week. What are we up to? 53 excruciating minutes.

Military origin story. Billy boy. I am a military vet and wanted to share a story with you seeing as you like military history. And by no means an expert. And this is probably all bullshit, but this is how the legend goes. I love our, I really love how this story starts. Your whole setup of this is what 99% of the shit that comes out of my mouth can be defined as I'm no expert. And this is probably bullshit, but this is my opinion because I overheard this from somebody in a mall back in Vietnam.

There was a guy named Colonel Robin Olds who was who was commander of a fighter squadron. He was a triple ace. I don't know what that means. Does that mean he killed three people or fought in three wars or had three different ways of killing you in the air? I have no idea, but he was a triple ace. I'm going to use that next time I'm drinking in a bar. Some woman gives me shit. I'll be happy to know I'm a triple ace.

What does that mean? You figure it out. He was a triple ace and fought in World War II and would later retire as a general. Good Lord. Any one of those things is beyond anything I've accomplished in my entire life. Olds grew a mustache while overseas in defiance of the Air Force regulations. All right, he's a red sock. You hear that, Versey?

And he's a triple ace. We are the champions. Olds grew a mustache while overseas in defiance of the Air Force regulations and commanded his men to grow one, two on the basis that it makes you bulletproof. One of his men refused to do so because he felt it looked retarded and got shot down. He was recovered and grew a mustache and wasn't shot down again. Is this why all these studly guys throughout the years would always have fucking mustaches before hipsters ruined them? Before this guy went home, he shaved his mustache and got shot down a second time. It is now a tradition for flyers to grow mustaches overseas.

It's such a superstition that schedulers will make sure at least one on the crew has a mustache and avoid making all female crews. Well, what about Tom Cruise? He didn't have a mustache, but Goose did. Goose did. He got hit by the canopy. Well, that's Hollywood. That's not real war. All right, this grew into the tradition of mustache march in the Air Force where everyone, regardless of whether they fly or not, grows mustaches. This in turn evolved into November, where men grow mustaches or no shave November, where men grow beers to raise awareness for prostate cancer and other male cancer and associated charities during the month of November.

So go grow a mustache, you pasty freckled fuck. Thanks for the free laughs. I will look. I'm aware of prostate cancer. All right. I guess I should grow one so I never get it. I've grown mustaches in the, in the, I don't know. I'm a contrarian. I can never go the fucking way. That's actually a really interesting story. I hope even 8% of that was true.

By the way, who was this guy who got shot down? That's where it all falls apart. And then the one there was a guy is that's that's how most of the urban myth start, but I like it. Great story. And I stand by your complete lack of research because that's everything that I do. All right, from Finland. We're going around going around Europe here from Finland. Hello there, William F. Burr.

I'm a 22 year old guy from Finland and I've waited a long time for you to do a show here. So I'm very excited to hear you're coming to Helsinki in December. Unfortunately, because of my studies, I'm doing a practical, I'm doing a practical training in Africa for three months. So I'm going to miss the show. I hope I will one day have the money to come see your show in the US. So I'm going to Ghana in a group of four students and I'm the only guy in the group. I'll be in the same house and going to the same workplace with these three ladies for three months. We all know each other quite well, but I'm mostly used to hanging with guys.

So if you give me some advice or tips on how to mentally prepare for these three months, it would be greatly appreciated. Are there some topics or actions I should make sure to avoid? Thanks and go fuck yourself. Love the podcast and all that other stuff. Hope to see you more in TV. Oh, that's very nice of you. What a nice email. Are there some topics? Listen, dude, the amount of things I fucked up with women, all I can tell you is what not to do. All right, this is what I would do if I was you. The first thing you got to do is if you're a type a male on any level, you got to tone that shit down.

If you're angry, all anger does is scare women. Okay, or makes them not want to be around you or it makes women who have daddy issues. It's like a moth to a fucking light, except the moth reaches in, grabs your heart, pulls it out of your chest and throws it down the stairs. If you're going to live with these three women. All right, these is what you could do. Are you trying to fuck these women or are you just trying to get along with them? All right, first things first, make sure you're really neat. Granted, you know, women in the bathroom are some of the messiest fuckers on the planet.

But I would do that. I would come with slumber party energy and just fucking give into their fucking conversations. Okay, and that's right there is where you establish credit credibility. You're not angry. You keep your part of the bathroom clean and you come with, oh my God, you guys, you fucking give into that fucking energy. Late at night when they want to snack and they're fucking jam, jams, you join them. All right, and you never try to fuck any of them. Then what you do is you talk to them about how you're having problems meeting women in Ghana and you need advice and then they'll become a fucking wingman for you. And you'll be crushing fucking Ghana and East fucking ass, whatever the hell you want to call it, right and left when you're out there. And they'll actually help you do it. That would be my game plan.

But the last thing you should do is try to hook up with any one of them, unless it's the last weekend. The last weekend comes around, all bets are off, you get in there and you fuck them all. Somewhere in there is probably some information that you could use if anybody has any suggestions on what this guy should be doing. My trip isn't until December. If anybody else has studied abroad with three broads and has better advice for the love of God, let me know. And I'll pass it on to this fine young gentleman. All right, documentaries. Just a bill on Capitol Hill. Ah, one of my favorites. I know a lot of you guys are too old to remember Schoolhouse Rock.

Do you remember that? I'm just a bill. Yes, I'm only a bill and I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill. Well, then it's off to the dollar when I put on the bank and something and I something and I bought out a boo and I hope that I will be alone. Sorry, that was way too long. Pray that I will, but today I'm still just a bill. Hey, your top school house rocks. Three is a magic number. Conjunction, junction, verb. That's what's happening. I'm just a bills a great one. Number nine is a great one. Oh my God, I'm gonna have to fucking upload that shit. I have that on CD box at somewhere.

Jesus, under some championship hat. Rub it in. All right, I've got two documentaries for you, your red face to lock onto. All right, first up, Blackfish. This is about killer whales in SeaWorld. Basically, it starts from the time they got a killer whale into captivity. I really apologize for my reading out loud. This is like the worst I've ever done. Anyways, he says this is about basically it starts from the first time they got a killer whale into cap captivity at SeaWorld. They separate it from its mother at the age of two. Males remain with their mothers their whole lives. So the separation is very traumatic. They're kept in tanks too small and fed very little.

The whole thing is mind blowing. It aired on CNN and I recommend it to everyone. You won't believe the stuff that comes out of the SeaWorld employees mouths. I might just take your word on that. I can't handle watching people do stuff. Animals and kids and then the next level of rage because that's about as innocent as it gets. And then the next level of rage above that is someone beating the shit out of their girlfriend and their wife or anything. I can't handle watching that stuff. They made that thing was at the Cove where they just drive all those dolphins into that little area and they're just bludgeoning them to death. Just tell me what I need to donate money. I really can't watch. Like last night, this is my second time doing that pit bull thing.

And one of the women who organizes it has a pit bull herself and it has a scar on its back because some douchebag dump battery acid on the thing. And I showed up late to it this year hoping I avoided the story because I knew that someone was going to ask and I showed up and someone asked and I had to listen to it again and just fucking. I swear to God, I could literally kill somebody. I don't know if I could do that, but I could do some horrific blowtorch shit to them. So I'll watch as much as that as I can. If it's on Netflix, I'll try and pull it up. Second, dirty wars. This follows a lone journalist who tracks the origins of a drone strike from Afghanistan to Yemen. It's streaming on Netflix. Oh, I'll watch this. Those drones fascinate the shit out of me.

If this aired on network television, there would be riots in the streets over what our military is doing in the name of the U.S. All right, but I'm also going to watch it knowing that this is, I mean, is this a documentary or is this like one of those Michael Moore documentaries where it's really an op-ed piece? I'll watch it. I'll watch it. Fuck it. Dirty wars correlates with the news coming out about Obama claiming to be good at killing people to his aides. Here's an article from Yahoo. I'll give you guys this link. I'm not co-signing on any of this shit until I see it. Jesus, man. Do you have a happy one in there? Is there one about an old lady making her own jam and beating out the corporations? You got to give me a ray of sun. I appreciate all of that stuff. I might have to watch dirty wars. I know I'm going to have to. I'm going to watch both of those. Fuck it. Jesus Christ.

Hey, how about now that he's given me two that's going to make me lose even more faith in humanity? And I'm not saying I'm better than these people. I'm a complete piece of shit myself. But can I get a good one in there? Does anybody have a documentary on Iceland standing up to the bankers that I could watch? Because that one fascinates me in how that wasn't covered that much here in the States. I would love to see that one. All right. So here's the wrap up, everybody. Now that the show is over, don't forget to sign up for your free trial of Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus lets you binge on thousands of hit shows anytime, anywhere on your TV, PC, smartphone or tablet. And that's it for the podcast this week. I had just an awesome week. I know I was just bandwagon. But it's really, you know, exciting after all those years of watching the Red Sox suck to actually watch them now consistently be this winning franchise

and be able to turn stuff around. And I know they spend more money than God, but it is cool. And I don't know. I hope it happens to your city. I hope you guys go on a run, especially Cleveland, Kansas City. All of those, you know, I'm only a hater of, you know, the Yankees, the Canadians and the Lakers. And even then I respect all of those teams as much as I give them shit. I definitely respect them. But I don't even hate the Giants. I actually love the Giants. And I'm hoping that they, I don't have that thing in football where I have like a team that's the Yankees. I mean, I love that the Jets beat the Saints this week because that means that old foot fetish guy down there, I'm forgetting his fucking name. Rex Ryan, he has a chance of keeping his job. You know, I don't want him on ESPN analyzing football games. I want him to, as a Patriots fan, I want him right where he is head coach of the New York Jets.

All right. That is the podcast for this week. Congratulations to the 2013 Red Sox. I wish I watched all throughout the year, but I didn't. I'm just a bandwagon guy and I'm going to wear the Red Sox championship hat and I'm going to laugh when you guys give me shit because I am bandwagon. However, I am diehard Bruins Patriots and I'm actually going to get the NBA channel because package because the Celtics are rebuilding. And I want to see if they can do it again. They can rise from the ashes and buy some more free agents and see what happens. But I actually, you know, went to that Clippers Warriors game and I had a great time and the Warriors looked like a really exciting team as to do the Clippers. So fuck it. What am I going to do? Fuck up the ravioli again this week. I watched some hoop. All right. That's it. Hey, by the way, I'm going to be at the Rangers Penguins game. All right. Stone sober. Madison Square Garden this week. Should be a great game. All right. If you're not watching hockey, get missing out. Go fuck yourselves. I'll talk to you next week.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 02:21:48,800 --> 02:21:58,800 Yeah. Yeah.