Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-9-23

Episode Date: November 9, 2023

Bill rambles about the Scope Arena, the price of a Big Mac, and Icelandic broads.  (00:00) - (31:03) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast (31:07) - (01:17:26) - Thursday Throwback 11-9-15 (01:17:30) - end - Anything Better Week 10 NFL Preview & Picks

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday Monday morning podcast and I'm just checking in on you Whoa, oh, yeah, oh Billy Freckles is out on the road here Getting ready to do Madison Square Garden What the hell am I? I am in Atlanta. Hot Atlanta is the kids call it party city. Whatever the fuck they do down here. It's for young people.

I stay in the hotel room, that's my deal. I did go for a little walk around town. I took a little stroll. You know how it is down here in South Maine? You get out there in that weather. You know, I'm working here with Dean, he's going to do this weather is fucking perfect. And I'm like, well, fucking enjoy it, dude. This is the calm before the fucking global warming storm.

We sit in this barbecue joint and the fucking guys up on the TV doing the weather. The fucking map is all yellow orange and red. It's like it's November. It's fucking November? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? Sociopaths run the world and you have to pick a side. You got to pick which sociopath you're going with.

That's how the game works because they control the game. Speaking of sociopaths, I finally read up on a little bit on Donald Trump and Joe Biden Jr. there. Hunter. Gonna get him a strong name, Hunter. And it's fucking hilarious. They just literally getting busted for shit that everybody does, kind of like the University of Michigan.

Like, I don't understand this whole bullshit where it was like Michigan was stealing signs. It's like everybody stealing signs. That's why when you watch the game, they disguise the sign. They put the clipboard up over their face. They, I've said this for years. They're holding a sign up. There's like a cupcake gone there, a picture of a dog, and then like fucking, you know, Fonzie from Happy Days.

Why do you think they're doing that? Because people are trying to steal signs. And it's a skill. If you don't put the right fucking TV star up there and they can't figure, you know, and they figure out what it is. I mean's on you i love that they was stealing science and then they're acting like they knew exactly what the opponent was doing every single play every single game it's so fucking stupid so basically what happened is michigan pissed somebody off the way donald trump pissed somebody off that's basically what it is it's all fucking good until you piss somebody off and then they hold you to the air quote rules.

So all donny boy the fucking DA's come in the DOJ is coming. They're fucking going after this guy because he falsified the value I guess of his assets to get favorable loans and insurance and it's not like he was off by a couple of million. They are alleging at one point he had a golf course with 27 and a half million dollars and he had it on his loans or whatever applying for a loan as being worth upwards of 1.5 billion. Okay, you do that according to them and then you sign the piece of paper you're guilty of fraud okay i'll go with that but what about the fucking banks what about the insurance companies

aren't they supposed to check that out you tell me i could go to a bank and have some shithole house to be like that's worth a trillion dollars i'd like a fucking half a trillion dollar loan. Okay, does everything on this document true? Yes, yes it is. Okay, I've done my due diligence as a banker. Yeah, it's a greedy cut bankers and the greedy insurance companies.

They basically, they knew what the fuck he was doing like they all do it and they went along with it because they believed in him that he wasn't going to fault on his fucking loans. And that game is all well and good until somebody defaults on the loan. I don't know if that's what he did because I remember him when he was running for office, he was like, I took advantage of the the bankruptcy laws. Nobody's ever done it better.

In fact, I know more about the bankruptcy laws than anybody that bullshit. And I remember his side, they were so fucking stupid, they were cheering them on. It's like, guys, that's our money. That's our money. He defaulted on the fucking loans. Do you think the bank's gonna lose money? They don't, they take it out of us. He was basically standing there saying,

I got a bunch of your money and never paid it back. And you guys paid the tab and people gave him like a fucking standing ovation. So then Hunter, little co-cat over there. You know, he took the White House a little literal there. I guess this saying is dad. Dad! How much money you want to take from Syria? He was getting bribes. Oh my god, what a surprise, a political official getting bribes. my god what a surprise a political official getting bribes there's set up to be bribed this so fucking grossly underpaid that's how the corporations ruin this country

they were making it they they were basically for the level that they were at they were getting paid like an NFL cheerleader to have all of us yell at them and tell them that they didn't know what the fuck they were doing they got sick and get yelled at so they took the payoffs and the corporations oh billy making it so simple and tell them that they didn't know what the fuck they were doing. They got sick of getting yelled at, so they took the payoffs from the corporations. Oh, Billy, making it so simple. He read a couple of articles, so Bill, tell us how the world works.

I'm gonna, oh, I'm gonna. So I guess old Joe Joe there, if he can remember, was taking payoffs from other countries, probably to give him aid or I don't know what the fuck, so he could get a house on math is vineyard, although he's white, he's probably going to nantuck it And then he ran him through Hunter and he was too coke up to realize he was getting fucking used And now he's sitting there holding the bag now. He's the Patsy

Is that what's going on Like I think all of that's the same Michigan Donald Trump and Hunter Biden that's all the same fucking story Well, not really Michigan Michigan. I think it's bullshit and I don't like Ohio State But even if Ohio State got busted for like stealing signs. I just don't think stealing signs is a I just don't think You know, that's that's how you win a war It's a skill and you got to try to figure out what they're doing. It's it's it's a riddle wrapped up in an igmo I just don't think, you know, that's how you win a war. It's a skill and you gotta try to figure out what they're doing. It's a riddle wrapped up in an enigma

with the fucking Steve Irkelsign, right? If you can figure that out, maybe you get an advantage on one or two plays, but that's it. It doesn't like, I mean, I guess if you got the advantage on the very last play and you fucking, you know, up by one or some shit, maybe that would be it?

I don't fucking know. Seems like a whole bunch of nothing to me, but you know what, you know what, I'm a simple man. You know what I'm saying? I put my pants on one freckled leg at a time and I try not to be involved, but I had a day off in New York. And I'm an old man, so I still buy the paper.

And it's funny, I had to go to a couple of delis like in New York, like I'm an old man, so I still buy the paper. And it's funny. I had to go to a couple of delis, like in New York, like they all sold the paper. Now, the newspapers going away, you know? That's bad. Though those were like the more wholesome lies that I grew up with used to be in the newspaper. So I like reading those lies, because I can read them in my voice, you know, as opposed to watching the 24-hour news networks where they just sensationalize everything. And, you know, scared the shit out of you, blame the other side and then offer no solutions whatsoever. As, you know, a lot more times they're not

I feel like they're getting paid by the people that they're complaining about, maybe to look the other way, I don't know. I tied all together, I tied together, I somehow, somehow I'll blame this all together. I tied together. I somehow, somehow I'll blame this all on Ohio State or Alabama. At some point, at some point in this fucking podcast. But last night, I was in Norfolk, Virginia, and I played this place. It is the most beautiful of fucking arena. One of the most beautiful arenas in the country. You gotta be kidding me.

Is that somebody fucking, I'm okay, thank you. They just won't leave you alone. They just fucking won't, you know what's overrated? A nice hotel. You know what else is overrated? Going out to a nice restaurant because the entire time they won't fucking leave you alone You go to a nice restaurant every time you start to have a fucking conversation somebody comes over with the water

And you gotta be like I know I'm good. Oh, hey, thanks a lot So everybody doing good. Do you want more bread? Does anybody can I get you anything? Can I can I do something? Yes, you can fuck off We ordered food bring the the food, and then leave. And then when the plates are empty, come back and then you give us a check and we give you a fucking tip and then we get the fuck out of here. What am I a child? You're gonna cut up my fucking steak for me? Fucking beat it. You know, fucking nice hotel, right? You don't want to go but you don't want to go beyond a marion. Married fucking leaves you alone. Do you check in? It's a nice

fucking place, right? You're going in thing nicer than a Marriott. They're coming in, they're bringing like, hey, can I turn you want turn down service? I don't I don't know what that is. You're gonna tuck me in. It's fucking seven o'clock at night. Well, Billy, big problems here. Sorry, I'm just more frustrated. I'm trying to do a fucking podcast than every five seconds. It's just, you know, you just hear like, I can't get to a wall here. You want some more celery? Why would they give you celery? You know why? Because it's cheap and they can give you a lot of it. I don't know. How the make it seem like they're doing something.

Anyway, I played the, I think it's called a scope arena. Is that what it's called? Yeah, the scope arena, and I was just blown away by the beauty of this thing, SCOPE. Look it up. You have to go see a concert there. You gotta go see some hockey or some basketball there. It's 50 years old. They broke ground in 1968 and when they built it, their first tenant, I believe,

was the Virginia Squires and ABA team who the one and only Dr. J played on. Before he went to the New York Nets, before he went to the NBA with the Philadelphia 76ers. And we were there last night and it was the best sounding arena. I've been in and just the look of it and everything it was like. It felt old school and it felt modern.

It's absolutely gorgeous and I don't ever hear of anybody going out of their way. People go out of their way to go to Madison Square Garden or like, I don't know, the Forum in LA, but this, some hidden gems, I would say, the most underrated arena to go see fucking anything would be the Scope Arena. The people there were so nice.

I had an amazing show, just one of those shows I went up there, I immediately clicked with the crowd and they went with everything. And yeah, I texted my agent the next morning going, that has to be a regular stop. Provided I can sell that many tickets when I get old like fucking really old, like Billy Joel. How about Billy Joel?

Still playing the so-5 fucking arena That's unbelievable Just going out there just him in a piano like four other guys selling out the whole fucking thing and the football field Guy is a beast Anyway tonight I am in Atlanta, which some of my most favorite stand-up comedy weekends, gigs, venues ever. There was the original punchline

that was one of my favorite comedy clubs in the country. Unfortunately, they raised the least, I don't know, they probably built some fucking luxury apartments that nobody can fucking afford, which they were also doing in Norfolk, Virginia. I don't know what they're doing or where all of this money is coming from. I'm just finding everybody is hurting right now.

I'm seeing people saying like a fucking big Mac at McDonald's is like 15 bucks now and all of this inflation, and rather than trying to do something to help people out, they're just building more shit that nobody can afford. And they're knocking down shit that people could afford. So what the fuck is going on? You know what it is? It's a Ponzi scheme is what it is there.

So every time I go to watch the news, like every time I take a peek at what's going on the Gaza Strip, it is just so fucking heartbreaking. Seeing all of those innocent people on both sides because of the lunatics at the top, just getting killed in me. I don't know how you sit there and watch. There's like nothing you can do about it. And then it's just fucking horrible, right? So I, man, I don't know. What do we do?

We have to somehow bond as non-social path regular people. And we just have to start helping each other out because these fucking assholes at the top, and as far as I can tell in every country, they're not doing anything. I mean, look at the broads over there in Iceland. I thought they were all skipping around with goats in that beautiful world to have in a

great time. They were fucking pissed. They were like, why not making enough money? Everybody's over. Oh, Iceland, they stood up to the banks. Oh, they'll go to the fucking blue, the goat, and the water is crystal clear, and there's mermaids and fucking blah, blah, blah. And it's not. It's a bunch of angry brides over there getting fucked over evidently. And what's fucked up is they're all related. See, they're literally, it's beyond fucking over your own countrymen, you're fucking over your family. I told you that guys that a long time ago when I went to Iceland, I found out that there's

an app over there that people in Iceland have, that when you meet some chicken a bar or a dude, whatever you're fucking into, you have to, well, I guess a dude wouldn't matter because you're gay, you're not going to breed with them. And it's like open season, I guess. But forget to have that heterosexual sex like Jesus approved of when he got that hooker, there's an app over there. It doesn't say that you put your names in. I guess when you decide you're gonna go forward and maybe fuck, you put your names in it.

There's no way they do this every time. This is like fucking without a condom in Iceland. You don't use the fucking app. It doesn't check to see if you're related. It's how you're related. Because it goes back to two fucking people, like some Adam and Eve ship, but it was a couple of Vikings. I don't know what they were, right? You know, I've only spent collectively four and a half days there.

So let me explain this country to you, such an idiot. So anyway, yeah, that's what you do when then you decide. So I guess what they really do is not until they get into a relationship. It's probably after they banged. It's like, all right, let's see. Let's see. Let's see if we can go to a holy matrimony or if we just

did something unholy. Anyway, the fuck am I talking about? Oh yeah, so the punchline, they knocked that down, so now they have the second punchline, but the original one is the one that I worked, that I have all my memories in. I still like the new one, but the old one, it's like the stadium you grew up in, right?

I like the Fleet Center, but I'll always be partial to the Boston Garden. And then after that place, I played the tabernacle in Atlanta. There's another place, all right? All of these fucking people telling you, you gotta go to these places with palm trees and shit, you don't. So many of these cities that nobody brings up have these amazing venues that you can go see your favorite comedian your favorite band Whatever the fuck it is you're track to pull whatever the fuck you're into the tabernacle You would have a track to pull there unless they had golf carts. It's not big enough, but

magical Magical fucking place where you go see a band that plays live and At least I would anyway. Everybody has, is playing their instruments and his prince said in that clip, you know, my mic is on. That's my favorite thing. My mic is on. I would go check that place out.

This is like my own travel show here. There's two fucking places. You know, we had some friends come out and they said the last time I was here, one of them said the last time I came here, because there's a bit of a drive for him. He said he saw Metallica at the scope arena on the end justice for Altor. How fucking sick is that?

And I didn't even have the ass of guy. I was like, that's automatically that band, that era, that arena had to have been top five fucking concerts you ever went to, had to be. So anyway, the scuttle butt on the internet, all this crap about Bill Belichek, so they get rid of them, I'm sure the whole league is salvading.

Hoping our local news media and armchair quarterbacks. Like I know, I know we, okay, we have the worst record in the AFC. So what? We still have bill bellicichek as a coach. I think the guy has earned the right to try to dig out of a hole. What is every draft pick supposed to work out? I mean, we had an unbelievable run. I'm still basking in the glow of going to nine super bowls and winning six. The fuck am I, you know, what do I give a, I can handle two and seven. What's he not going to turn it around? I don't know. Look, I mean, what about the fucking Buffalo bills?

They've never won anything. They were supposed to be finally figuring shit out to go beat the Kansas City Chiefs. What do they, they only got like three more wins than we do. So what's the big fucking deal? I always feel like those sportsmen, that's just what they just end up doing that, you know, because they don't know what else to write about. So they get lazy and they just try to stir people up. And I guess they know that they say something sacrilegious like, is it time to give Bill

Bellichek his walking papers? Everyone's going to get all up in a fucking frenzy. I don't know, that would be... If they fired him after everything that he's done, like I said last week, that would be right up there with Charles Oakley getting thrown out of Madison Square Garden,

which in recent times, you know, a lot of franchises have done stupid shit with former players that did amazing things, but to literally throw the guy out like he was some drunk I don't know that's that's one I Felt bad for for all Nick fans when that happened because I know they were all going every Nick fan I knew was just like, dude, what the fuck? Like, why the hell, you know?

Haven't we been through enough? You gotta add that to the fucking championship drought here, over here? Speaking of that, with the sports, I've been out on the road, so I haven't had time to watch these Bruins games, but I guess we wanna get, we these burlons games, but I Guess we want to get we finally at our first loss. I want to say it was against the red wings but we're something like 9 1 and 1 or 10 1 and 1

Which is incredible because we lost Patrice Burjaron And David Krajee and this was you know, he signed van Riem's dyke and stuff like that I had a lot of buddies am I going like yeah? I think that you know, they only signed for van Riem's Dike and stuff like that. And I had a lot of buddies of mine going like, yeah, I think that you know, they only signed Van Riem's Dike for one year. And this is just so we can be competitive and they can still sell tickets. And here they are with like the best record in hockey

as far as I know. So, so far so good. So far so good. No Billy Freckles. Still hitting the treadmill. I kind of fucking like, I don't know, leveled out here. I gotta do more of a push. I gotta eat better, man.

I gotta lay off the, I've laid off fucking everything and it's still fucking hard as hell. 55, Jesus Christ. It's a race between what's slower at this point. My brain and my fucking metabolism, but I got this playlist any AC DC fans out there, huh? I got a Brian Johnson playlist for you. It's all deep-cut shit, you know, because they always play the same fucking Five Brian Johnson songs I feel so this is my playlist 31 minutes eight songs, all right

So this is my playlist. 31 minutes, eight songs, all right? First one, let me put my love into you, babe. AC, DC, back in black. You know, start slow, just like me on the elliptical. I did my little soccer mom stretches. You know what I mean? I got my little drink. I got on my fucking pink leg warmers, you know, I'm easing in.

Then you go to one of the great fucking gold diggers songs ever. What do you do for money, honey? Also off the back and black album. And then the Bond Scott tribute song, have a drink on me, off the back and black album. That's the first three. So see, we're ramping it up. All right, I start with ease it in, ease it in, with let me put my love into you, babe. Then they scream at the broads, and now we're at the bar having a drink.

So what can come next? Huh? It's ACD, see, you know the devil's coming, right? COD. Second track, second side, back in the day when you had the vinyl or the cassette tape, carer the devil. Then we keep going with the devil.

I got evil walks, which is the first track. Second side, AC DC for those about to rock. And then I round out that album with Spellbound, which is a very atypical subject matter for AC DC. It's actually about a guy down in the dumps and he's depressed. And it's a killer song, but I feel like collectively as a group they're like, that's not what we do.

We don't talk about being down. You know, I don't think they'll ever be rockin' roll music that's just supposed to bring you down. Do you guys think so? Eight years later, grunge. You know, I wish I was like you. Easily amused. Okay, so wait, let me get this straight, Kurt.

I'm supposed to feel bad for you as you're shedding on me. I love Kurt Cobain. I love Nirvana, but I can never quite give it up to the Grunge bands because they knocked all my bands off the fucking chart. I'm still being a baby. Still being a baby all these years later. All right, then we wrap it up with the last two Off the flick of the switch album this house is on fire and then the title track flick of the switch

Which used to always fuck me up when I would try to play drums along to that It was like, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, boom. And I always would, he wanted to hit on the four, but he fucking hits on the one, he does a slam on the one, and then on the four, and then fucking in the amount of times, I fucked that up, and I would slam on the four, and then they'd hit on the one, and I'd go, fuck, four, bam, and then I would slam on the floor and then they'd hit on the one and I go fuck For bam and then I would go into the song

Someone actually took some video me playing drums the other day and For the first time I only look like half a jerk off I Still hit like a fucking bitch man. I always think I'm up there fucking wailing that I'm not I'm just up there like help him did it right like I'm in my head. I'm like Jesus Christ These people I'm jamming with they're thinking like why did this guy pick comedy? How come he didn't pick music as a profession and then I always start to watch myself on my I've just never had the courage to film myself on a consistent basis and that's kind of like what you have to do To stop looking like a douche I think or maybe you know

I could just own up to the fact that I wasn't born with that talent You know, and I'll just be forever that guy going into a music store going I want to buy the snare drum that that guy plays on that album because I feel like if I play the same stuff He plays that means I'll be as good as he is Which is hilarious because we all wear Jordan ones you know what is the percentage of people that wear Jordan ones but can't dunk that is it has to be in the high 90s it just has to be It has to be in the high 90s. It just has to be. Unless you count like a nerf hoop or that backyard one that you lowered to like eight, you

know, eight and a half feet. Nine feet was actually, was actually for, you know, for a fucking pasty white guy. If you could fucking throw it down in a nine foot rim, that wasn't bad. Yeah, I grew up in a white town. So it was like was like dude he can dunk a tennis ball. That's about as far as it went. I think one kid dunked a volleyball. It was more of a football hockey town. But those are also two great sports. Wouldn't you say, hey you know what, I don't have any advertising this week. So I just got to go straight through here. No ad reads. You know, it's a tough tab coming up to the holidays. I started shopping, you know, for the kids.

I wanted to get my kid, my son. I wanted to get him that 100 year Bruins away Jersey, the white one, because it looks like the home Jersey that the Bru brooons were in the eighties that's the one that i love that's my favorite one is the the the all white one that had those white on the shoulders it didn't have that yellow up there the one that p p is war brick metalton and all of those guys chalice simmer

berry peterson unreal Charlie Simmer. Barry Peterson. Unreal. I can't remember the name of the venue I was in last night, but I can name the fucking first line of the Bruins in like 1980. Well, no, maybe I can't. Well Barry Peterson was there. It was Barry Peterson, Peter McNabb. Peter McNabb, the last guy to wear number eight before

Cam Neely came in. And that was when Ray Bork was still wearing number seven because we had a big beef with Phil S. Bizzito, and then they finally put that to bed, which by the way, is there anything better than listening to Phil S. Bizzito on the radio calling a Tampa Bay Lightning game? It's like, it's not even like he's in a booth. It's like you're at the game with him and he's sitting in the stands Eating fucking peanuts and having a couple of beers. It's fucking incredible

very very underrated Announce it man. I just you know, I have the the center rice package But it's not the radio, but he used to be on TV too and that was my favorite But I think he just does the radio now maybe does like select games. I don't know. He he used to be on TV too and that was my favorite, but I think he just does the radio now, maybe does like select games, I don't know, he's got to be close to 80. But I would love to, if you guys know how to get that feed, you know, that's one of the things you get to enjoy hockey and you laugh in your ass off at the same time, that's the greatest thing ever.

And I miss those guys. I miss those fucking homers. You know, Johnny Moes for the Celtics, Fred Cusick for the Bruins. I mean, we could literally do no wrong. Was hilarious. What sucks now is everybody can hear him. So then they just sit there. But this guy's such a fucking homer.

It's like he's supposed to be. He's not announcing the game for you. Go listen to the fucking your team's feed. You telling me they're not biased? You want them to be biased, especially when you're losing. They start, God, this is fucking bullshit. They don't say that, but you know, You know, it's nice to hear that they give a shit before they just all the all to do like the I don't know what the straight-ahead color commentator by the way shot out to Joe Buck that guys having like some of the best games he's called Since I've been watching him and Troy Ackman manman i am and i'm a broadcaster snob you know because i grew up with so many great ones so um...

and what always happens is that because they've you know there's like a transition like uh... so many the guys that i grew up with you know retired times two you know and everyone said while i like watch an old football clip, and I'll hear John Madden in Pat Summeral.

And I just think, like, I can't believe, like, I just, I never took it for granted, but like, that I got to listen to those guys. I think John Madden came on with Pat Summeral. Summeral around like 1980. And I got to listen to them for almost like, you know, 20 years, 15, 20 years together. All those Al Michaels ones.

I caught the end of Kurt Gowdy. You know what else I liked? What I really liked when I was growing up, I always seemed to get the Browns game. I remember Don Crickey. It was another guy that was amazing. Anyway, that's the podcast here. I gotta go do a show.

I wanna thank everybody that came out in Norfolk, Virginia. You guys were one of the best crowds that I've ever had. It was just an incredible show. I'm incredible crowd. I'm sitting here talking to myself. Incredible crowd. You guys are an incredible group of people to perform to it was fantastic so I'll write some more shit and I'll come back and

I so I would go out of my way to go see a show there. I'm gonna get on their mailing list This scope arena. All right. That's it. I have a great weekend. You can enjoy the bonus episode of a Thursday The Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. I'm fucking getting geared up here from Madison Square Garden beyond psyched that I'm getting to play this place again. I always think any time I play this could be the last time and I am going to fucking go off. So I hope you're gonna be there. If not, no worries, because eventually I'll be in your time. Alright, I'll see. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the

Monday morning podcast from Monday, November 9th, 2015, what's going on? How are you? How's it going? easing into Thanksgiving? I apologize for the podcast being so late and the pee's popping on the microphone. Turn that down there. I just been traveling like a maniac man. I banded everywhere man.

I did Philly and then I did Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. And then I went to Daytona, Florida. Oh, what a time I had. What a fucking time for old freckles. It's good to be freckles these days. His fucking year is winding down. I was wondering what my neighbors think when I fucking come back to New York.

Like, where is that loud content in a fucking coma? Haven't heard his stupid podcast forever. We fucking roach and fester. God, the apartment back here came walking in like this. Just fucking... You know, I have the guy come in and spray it, but I don't know. They still get in here, you know? They just fucking dead everywhere.

But they're so fucking old from being dead, right? Yeah, pick them up and like the antenna stays on the floor. It's fucking gross. So anyways, what was they talking about? I don't even remember. Whatever, yeah, I've been all over the place. So I want to thank everybody that came out to my shows this weekend in Philadelphia, in Bethlehem, and Daytona. I had a fucking awesome time in each show with special and it's own little way.

The first fucking night was the was the Philly show, right? So I go to Philly in contrary to one fucking YouTube video, everybody thinks I hate Philly, I don't. I was actually, this is some shit I've never really even told you guys. I was actually a Flyers fan growing up because when I first started watching hockey, I loved the fact that you could fight and that's what the flyers did. So I loved them. You know, I was too, too young to remember them beating us in the Stanley Cup Final in the 70s, so I didn't have any bad will against the guys. I just knew that they beat the fuck out of people and who doesn't want to watch that? You know, I ease my way into violence. You know, started off by getting my ass kicked by my older brother

Then I started watching rasslin and then I moved on to hockey, right? Years later, I'm watching the UFC. It just keeps progressively Getting more fun. I watch those knockout videos. I watch people getting slapped, you know There has to be a fucking word for the level of excited the person holding the cell phone camera has when they start screaming, world star. It literally sounds like they're on fire. They're so fucking excited that they filmed a knockout and that they're going to get it on the fucking website.

Like they're almost like peeing themselves. I do an impression of it, but I have a show I have to do in about eight days and it it on the fucking website. Like they're almost like peeing themselves. I do an impression of it, but I have a show I have to do in about eight days and it would shred my fucking voice. I'll try to, I was gonna lie to you and say I was gonna try and find a clip. I have no idea where the clip is, but... So anyway, so I went, got into Philly on Thursday night,

had the big shoe, really big shoe there on Friday. So I was like, all right, let me go out and get a cheese steak. And it was really late. And I didn't have a car and I just said, fuck it. I said to the guys downstairs, they're like, all right, where's the closest place to get a good one? And they kind of made a face. Yeah. All right, go down the corner. So I went to this place, Kavanaugh's. So sports bar, one of the coolest thing I saw, they had the fucking Phillies 1980 World Series banner in there, which was cool, and I went in, I got it with the Tater Tots, and I got to tell you, it was pretty fucking tasty.

Pretty goddamn tasty, straight across the board, I give the fucking cheese steak at Kavanaugh's, the fucking thumbs up right so then the next day right we got the show so I'm walking around I'm doing what I always do with when I go to Philly right fucking checking out the downtown area and I always end up over at Mitchell and Nest just to see what the fuck they have and I bought my godson something and what else did I do? I just walked around, I fuck, you know, I enjoy the goddamn city, I don't do the

touristy shit, you know, I meant to check out the Joe Fraser fucking statue, but I didn't have time. So anyways, so we got to go do the fucking show, right? It's at the Wells Fargo Arena, speaking of the flyers and the fucking 76ers and all that shit. So me, Verzy and Joe Matarice are on the show, Matarice is from Philly. So we're driving over there. I'm using the fucking, you know,

I finally changed in the phone, I changed it to a guy's voice. So at least it's a guy telling me what to do. Supposed that fucking broad nagging me the whole way, right? Causing my balls to pull up into me, right? So I fucking, um, we're driving over there. And of course we somehow we get lost, trying to find a fucking arena. And I literally see it says parking for events, but the fucking computer content didn't tell me to turn or my thumb grazed against something and just shut

the fucking thing off. So I went right by it. And when you missed the Wells Fargo Center headed south, you end up in the fucking swamp. So it ended up being like a half hour mistake because it was like 15 minutes to get all the way over the fucking thing. And then we did not get in there. We went into the wrong fucking gate. So we pull in the charge in us for parking. I'm going no with the guys doing the show on bill bird. That's Joe Madorista. That's Paul Versey. So ladies like hang on a second. She's like, yeah, he said he's Paul Burr. So we're laughing our asses off going, I swear to God're them and they go what to tell us a joke

And I was like I don't have any fucking jokes that well the three comedies we can't find a fucking arenas that funny enough And they go all right go down there to gate E And we just keep running into security guards We just keep going yeah, we're the guys from the show and they would just go all right go down that way So then we just started laughing going dude. I'm gonna pull up to arena and be like, yeah, I'm Willie Nelson. Yeah, man, I, I'm a little late. Where do I go? I obviously couldn't get away with Willie Nelson. He's too famous, but I'm telling you, this is how it works. Okay? You need somebody black and somebody white in your car and I

guarantee you you could sneak into any fucking arena when there's a Concert alright, this is all you got to do alright have a black and a white person in there Just in case you get into the wrong line Then what you do is you try to peek ahead to see what color the person is in the parking booth if they're white You have the black guy talk right right? The black guy says, I'm fucking, uh... Oh wait, you got to start with the artist first. All right? So say, what are the kids listening to these days, huh?

ASAP Rocky, right? Say he's got a fucking show. What you got to do is you got to have your black friend, or you got to get a black friend, or just hire a black guy. You have him say, you pull up to the wrong fucking gate, the regular person gate, you make sure you get in line with the fucking white person, right, in the booth,

and all you get black guys got to say is, yeah, I'm him, and I'm late, man, where do I go? Where do I go? And I'm telling you, that guy will fucking wave you with. At least you won't have to pay for pocket. I don't know if it fucking works and if it's a fucking country show Your black friends not going to give the shit. You only need white people anyways. Whatever. I'm convinced. Oh fuck me hang on a second hang on hang on All right, I'm back. Yeah, see black friends not gonna want to go to the country showing all I'm saying is if you just if you fucking pull up Yeah, see black friends not gonna want to go to the country showing all I'm saying is if you just if you fucking pull up

No, wait a minute. They probably know it all they this is me being an ego maniac This is what this is they didn't know why I am so then they're not gonna know who know who fucking Travis Trittis What an arrogant freckled content. I apologize. I apologize not only for this thing being late But having my ego go off the fucking rails. That's soon in this podcast, right? It's fucking unbelievable. It usually takes me at least 15 minutes in before the ego starts coming out. Oh, it reared, it's fucking redhead early, didn't it? So anyways, we were fucking driving around that parking lot

for like 20 minutes. And I'm talking to the guy in the fucking arena and he's going, you know, where are you? I'm like, I'm in the fucking parking lot. It's, it's, we're in E and he goes, all right, did you go into the tunnel? And I'm like, no, I went over a bridge. Well, bring it around a fucking thing. It took us like for fucking ever. And then we got in there. Well, bring it around a fucking thing. It took us like fucking ever and then we got in there and We got to go into the obviously go into the venue before the crowd got in there got to see the you know, they got the boards, you know what the fucking

You know for the flies playing all that shit. I saw the 76ers 83 championship banner the team that I would put up against the 96 bulls And I say it goes seven games, you know. Oh, me and Versa got into it that night. Holy shit. Arguing sports. Good Lord. He's like, dude, they're fucking 72 and 10. You know, he's one of those 1990s babies. Like nothing happened in sports prior to 1990 Nobody dude had pipping it had Jordan Like that fucking shit. It's like all right. Well, they had Dr. J in Moses Malone You know and Moe cheeks

Fucking Andrew Tony and I have a Roni right That fucking skinny white dude coming off the goddamn bench. It was like the defensive player of the year. Dude, Moses Malone underneath against Luke Longley. Luke Longley's gonna fucking foul. He's gonna be in foul trouble every fucking game. All right. I'm not saying that the sixers definitely would have fucking won, but you just say that it's a foregone conclusion that the fucking 96 bowls

are the greatest fucking team ever. They had, there was no Celtics Lakers they'd going on with the fucking, it was a very uneven time. You know, and people, well, if you go Jordan was so good, I'll give you a little bit of that. All right, but, too, when the fucking Celtics Lakers

and Sixers were all good in the fucking 80s, and then the pistons came along. I mean, dude, you had to fucking commit mass murder just to get to the finals. People throwing clothes lying, currambuses, glasses flying across the fucking court. It was a man's fucking game. I'm being that old guy. No, I know it wasn't the 92, but I'm just saying. There wasn't any dreams.

There wasn't, there wasn't like, you know, the Celtics and Lakers were fucking littered with Hall of Famers on both sides. You know, I don't know. What are my fucking bill Simmons? I don't know shit about fucking hoop. I'm just saying. I just hate out everybody.

You do this, you do that. And Moses and Dr. J would just stand around watching them going, jeez, holy, holy macro, collie, jeez, these guys, good. We get into that argument all the time and he also gets the argument that may whether it's the greatest fucking middleweight of all time. I'm like Paul,

Marvin Haglett, the problem is Marvin Haglett, Sugar Ray Leonard, Tommy Hitman, Herons and Roberta Durand all fought at the same fucking time. So they took losses. You know what I mean? I'm not saying that he would lose to all of those guys, but he'd lose to at least one of them. Wouldn't he? Oh, I sound like an old man in a barber shop What's your year back in 1972? Fucking voices junk dude junk doing all these fucking shows and I Gotta be answered to you man. I am I'm fucking I'm done with cigars man I smoked my last one in Philly and I didn't even want to smoke it. I just did it because We were the bunch of people and they you know they wanted to head over there. But I didn't even tell you about the show. So Verzy goes up to open it,

fucking crushes. And which made me feel really good, you know, obviously, because the last time I did a really big show out there, you know, things were a little more aggressive, so to speak. And I had a lot of people, interviewers asking me about it Because I wasn't even thinking about it because I've been back to Philly like six fucking times and I never had a problem But they just kept well, this is a big show so you think this one Huh do you think they're gonna treat you like an asshole? As they say in Philly, yes, oh um

And then Joe Madder East went up by the way who I hadn't seen you know He's a guy I started out with when I first came to New York He moved to New York right around the time that I did came up from Philly and I came down from Boston and You know, he's even funny that I remembered. He absolutely fucking destroyed did it dead on Was it Harry Callis saying his name right? Sounded exactly like him now Philly people know him as the voice of the Philly's. I knew him from NFL Films, taken over for the voice of God, and he absolutely murdered. And I highly recommend you check that guy out if you get a chance. And you can follow him on Twitter at the Joe Madarice M-A-T-A-R-E-S-E-D Joe Madarice.

Believe he's got a special or something like that coming out. He was fucking hilarious. And then when we were driving away, he was doing a dead-on Tony soprano. Fucking dead-on. It was unreal. So we had a great time and then we ended up going out and we smoked some cigars.

I was a good boy. I had one glass of bourbon, and that was it. I smoked a cigar and me and Versi had each other's throats, fucking arguing sports. And then we left. We got cheese steak, number two, Number two, two. And where do we go? We went to something like Mike's Princess Steaks or something like that. I can't even remember. I don't remember the name of it, but that one I thought the bread was good.

I thought everything was good, but the steak, I thought the steak wasn't as high a quality as what I had at Kavanaugh's. And I'm not even talking about was it Pats and Geno's I got I've been to those fucking things I'm trying to go to the satellite once I didn't even get to the ones that roast beef one was closed by seven so I never made it to that one but I still have a good time but Jesus Christ what a fucking shit show if you want to see a shit show get a fucking

cheese steak at two in the morning in Philadelphia on a Friday night. Good Lord. People just swaying in the fucking breeze. Right? And then the people I walked in with, they were fucking hammered too. I wasn't. I'm fucking sober, right? Go walking in. Matter is goes like like way too loud, like drug voice, it goes, he goes, yeah, every fucking loser in Philly out here to get a cheese steak. And I was like, yo, yo, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. You know,

then where is he goes? He goes, Jesus Christ, he goes, look at the haircut and that fucking animal over there. Way too loud. Way too fucking loud. I'm going, Paul, Paul, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. So I was that guy. I was basically the nutty of designated driver, like a designated walker.

And everybody in there, I swear to God, was swaying. They were so drunk. Like 90% of the people in there were swaying. I felt like I was on a fucking ship. And I was some salty dog going at his sea legs and everybody else was just sort of fucking floating around So anyways, we get the cheese takes I fuck up the order the guys all in patient with me And I was gonna be oh you're doing that Philly thing where you get all fucking inpatient because I don't know how to go Yeah, give me too. Wait give me a whiz whiz whiz. No, whiz not you know so so I got that little experience and then as we were eating we we were finishing up right at the the exact right time

like the the white dude With all black friends came walking in and he was trying to you know I don't know what he was trying to do. He was unbelievably loud, he was being fucking rude, and he was gonna get all of his friends into a fight. We fucking left. I was like, let's get the fuck out of here. And I don't know, I had a great time. I actually also ate a really good breakfast place. Little pizza, I think it was called greasy spoon. I fucking loved it. And the lady behind the counter was who works the day shift as a fucking riot. I was sitting there as she got me my drink order and she goes, you're ready? And I was

like, yeah, she goes, what do you got? And I just laughed. I go, let me get two eggs. Fuckin. What do you got? two eggs, fuck it, what do you got? What do you got? I don't know, hunger pains. So anyway, so we had a great time there. And as I said, I can't recommend going out to see Joe Maderee's enough men. Like he fucking blew me away. Versi, of course, was great as always,

but I always like throwing out new names on the podcast. People you could check out. The Joe Maderee's on Twitter. Hang on new names on the podcast. People you could check out the Joe Matt Arese on Twitter. Hang on a bunch of the same. Never can talk and do my password at the same fucking time. If I went into my settings and figured out how to make the screen saver not come up every two fucking seconds. All right, let's do a couple of reads here.

You know what that just reminded me of? I don't know why everybody freaking out about that fucking missile that the Navy shot off. You know, this is the beginning of World War III. Well, great, great. And you know what, we're all going to be dead. So what are you fucking worried about? You know what I mean? I would be much more worried if somebody released one cobra into the

fucking Los Angeles area and I knew that it was somewhere in the hills where I hiked. If there was one cobra there, I would be way more fucking nervous. Like if they said right now, we have a special news flash. China has just shot a bunch of nuclear weapons. They will be here in six minutes, so get your affairs in order. I would go over to the fridge and I'd get out a pine ice cream and I'd sit there, you know, you know, like a little kid sits in a big chair and he kicks his legs up and down like a scissors. That's what I would do. Oh boy, oh boy, I'm gonna get vaporized. I'm getting what everybody wants, a painless death.

That's what you're looking at when you see the nuclear weapons. What you're looking at is a painless death. I'm all about them. I love the warheads. I'm a big warhead fan. You know, I like that we're puffing each other's chests up. You know what I mean?

China's, you know, we're like why I oughta? You know and China's like why we oughta? And then Korea's like hey, what about us? We still count right. I don't give a fuck. I really don't You know, I'm a grizzled vet of this shit. I grow them in the tail end of the Cold War. I remember that shit, right? Everybody says they're gonna do it and then they never do Okay, until they do and when they do you're not gonna know it because it's gonna be over at least I won't know it That's one of the great things about being in a targeted city. You're gonna have no idea that World War three even happened You're just gonna wake up, you know?

Wherever the fuck you go, or maybe you just become part of the radiation, you know? That the next people are gonna climb out of. I told you guys that's my theory, right? That water is the nuclear waste from the last people that fucked up this planet, you know? And we're actually these fucking mutants. We're actually ugly as shit.

We just don't know any better because we're attracted to what we see because we're all fucking arrogant, right? We got the ego. Look at me. My ego came out and fucking for six minutes. You don't know who I am. Well then I could say I'm Elvis and everyone would believe it. Now Bill, they wouldn't.

You fucking dope. Um, yeah, so I don't know what the big deal is. And it was also funny to watch, to read that. And listen to say that they were saying everybody in California was freaking out. And then I call my wife and she doesn't even bring it up. Probably didn't even know what happened. Because at this point nobody really watches the news anymore. Remember the news anymore. Remember

the news used to come up? Everybody watch the fucking news. You had your guy, who do you like? And it was all men, right? Because men tell you what's going on in the world. Despite what these ladies think. You know what I mean? That's why I stopped watching the news. Second I saw a woman news anchor. I was like this broad doesn't know what she's talking about. She only got half the information because whoever was telling it to her was probably thinking about fucking her and he left out half the information. Okay. That's the problem with female news anchors and I've been saying it for years. And you can hide behind your sexist.

He's a sexist comment. All right. There's not an ounce of comedy in this right now. I'm just trying to give bloggers an easy week. I am dead serious. You know, I don't even know. Does Connie Chung still do it? It was funny. Was Connie Chung did the real news and then her husband was doing that? Was that fucking show? Was it a hard copy? And he had that sound of something like a fucking match. What's that thing behind the door? The door stopper? I'm the thing you played with before there was the internet.

You just sit there for hours going, pfft. pfft. pfft. pfft. pfft. That's a hard noise to imitate. You just sit there fucking with that, right?

He was on a show that that was the sound effect as they went into every story and Connie right was actually talking about real shit that was but at least you know the edited real shit our version of the real shit that was going on You know I would love to sit there as they both talked about You know The new stories that they were excited about You know she was reporting about the Berlin wall coming down and he was talking about to some paper boy Who fucked the postman's wife, you know what I mean?

I don't know. I just I guess I just find relationships interesting All right legal zone everybody we have we're still doing advertising by the way legal zone everyone yeah All right, so the next night I went up and I did, uh, I did the, the Sands Casino is proud to present a wonderful new show, a man and his music. And the man is Frank Sinatra. I don't know you people get my room. Come fly with me. You big fat fucking whore.

Um, you guys ever hear that album? Oh what an album that is just with the Count Basie orchestra um there's a casino there's a town I know where the hipsters go called bedrock, but dude, twist, twist there's a Bethlehem, Pennsylvania there is a casino in there that pulls in like a million dollars a day. They make they make bank

I walked in there. I got there early. I talked to this fucking zombie She must have hated her job. I don't know what it was, but she the way she was talking It was like that just that sing-songy everywhere. I'd be like, yeah, where's the gym? She'd be like, okay, the gym is right down the end of the hall and you get that, but you move it, you get it. What time's check out? Just going like up and like, like she was a robot and someone just randomly like programmed the same inflection arc. She started down low and then she went up high and then she ended up here and then she came back down. And I went in there, right? I got a Budweiser. I sat down and this place was fucking mobbed. mobbed. I never seen so many dirty jackets in my life. Mobbed with white people, Asians, black people, any kind of people you could think of was in there. Place was fucking mobbed.

And I'm sitting there, what's Saturday afternoon? And I was sitting there going, is there like a fucking championship fight just let out this is fucking unbelievable and I talked to one of the owners and he said no, dude this fucking place Does a business like it's one of the top casinos in the country and I'll tell you what else it is. It's one of the top venues. I have a performed at I had the best fucking time I don't know what it is. Just certain rooms you walk into, they just, they got that magic, right? You just, you stand to the side of the stage and just feel it, like this is gonna be fucking great.

And I think I did like an, I didn't have done an hour and a half on that one. Oh, such a great fucking time. Such a great time. Oh, I didn't know, it's so funny. I talked about trying to get into the Wells Fargo Center and even talk about the show. So I actually got to do a show at that arena

and Paul and Joe did great and I walked out and crowd was nice. It was so funny, man. Philly's like, we've met a show come with Virzy, like Philly's like the only city met with Chokun with Verzy like Philly's like The only city that you go to where you have you need a game plan Like okay if this happens I'm gonna do this or be ready to do this blah blah blah whatever, but the the crowd couldn't have been

Any better and everybody who worked there was fucking cool as shit and I was actually bonding with the one of the flyer fan security guys, because their team's not doing that well either. Fucking Bruins dropped like three out of four, but we won the last one. That's all right. And we fucked up and then we blew the Canadians game.

Crazy, uncharacteristically, taking a dumb penalty. But I just, you know, I had no idea what to expect this year. So I thought we were just going to get fucking smoked, because we had all these new guys. And they're playing good, you know? I don't mind if we lose a game, because we fucked up, because that can be fixed. It's just when you're just losing, because you just simply can't even compete.

And I have not seen that this year. So I'm still very optimistic that we're going to make the playoffs. And we're going to have a good showing. I think it's going to even be better next year. So anyway, so I fly down to Daytona, right? And oh, Janice Popp has opened for me on that last one. He went out and fucking crushed it.

Actually, he really fucking crushed it. And went over a little bit, so, and he felt it was all apologetic, so I fucking broke his balls for like a good 10 minutes, saying I was never gonna use him. He went over by like fucking three minutes. I was like, no, no, no, you did great, but you're one and done.

It's over, you're dead to me. So, anyways, I went down to Daytona. I never been to Daytona. I didn't even realize that. And I've always wanted to go to the Daytona 500. Why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you want to see people as fucking brilliant as they are in pit row and then stand in the being the stands with some of the dumbest people in the nation? Just that whole McDLT that juxtaposition, huh? Be fucking phenomenal.

Fucking people trying to shave off a, you know, a millisecond, a thousandth of a second, whatever they're trying to do by adjusting some, God knows what. Meanwhile, me and a bunch of the morons are just standing up there, hoping somebody crashes. So anyways, so I was like, man, I hope I have time to fucking just standing up there hoping somebody crashes. So anyways, so I was like, man, I hope I have time to fucking check out the speed wave. I don't have a car. So I'm walking off the plane and you know, in the airports, they have those Florida

ceiling windows. As I walk off the jetway and come into the little place where you fucking wait. I looked across the to the other gate that was directly across and out the window and there was the fucking speedway. The speedway is right next to the airport. It was fucking cool as shit and when I was over at my hotel I heard this car fucking driving around the track. You know, testing God knows what out. It was really fucking cool. So hopefully I'll get back there and I've performed at an aeronautical school. So everybody in the crowd was either a pilot, was in maintenance, homeland security, or they were actually

learning how to design airplane parts or aircraft parts, whatever the fuck you want to call it. And I had a great time talking to them, especially afterwards. And the Dean of Students was actually a veteran. I forget what he said he flew. A sea something or the gunship. And I asked him if he if when he flies now is it a lot more enjoyable because nobody's shooting at him. He goes, I don't do it anymore. And I go, oh, why not? You just sick of it. He goes, nah, man, he goes, I got shit, you know, he goes, when he gets shot down, he goes, I got a metal in my knee and in my shoulder. He goes, because you go down once and one of those, you don't want to do it again.

So I just sat there with my jaw and the ground listening to his stories, but I could not have had a better time. I could not have had a better time at that school. And Vanessa Fraction opened up, she fucking destroyed. It's just a great time. It's just a great fucking run. I just did not get any goddamn sleep. So let me read the questions here and let me get on with my fucking life here. All right. Other language, say, hey, Bill, I'm 23 and my wife will never be complete, real complete, complete without advice from 50. What? Hey Bill, I'm 23 and my, okay, other language, I'm from Czechoslovakia.

All right, I'm going to do my best to read this. Or maybe I guess, I'm just going to read it how I wrote it. Hey Bill, I'm 23 and my life will never be complete without advice from 50-yo out of shape, bald head. I moved to England just because of stand-up. Sorry for writing like a total dick, but this is my second language. I used to be good comedian, back home, check for public, but I wanted more. Ever since I moved to England, I realized I'm not so funny in English. I want to give it three more years, at least four,

when I'm able to do open mics. Do you think that non-native speaker can break in? Hard work inbound. Yeah, Yakuha Sherenov made an absolute fortune. I think you definitely can't. It's not gonna hurt you. Look, dude, if you can figure out being from the Czech Republic, if you can figure out how to be funny in English and make those cuts in England left, you know, if you can make those fucking people laugh, when you go back to your party Europe,

you're gonna be the king. I'll tell you something right now, dude, there's nothing wrong with being the king of the Czech Republic, is it? All those fucking smoking hot chicks over there? You'll fucking destroy. Dude, if everybody in your country loves you, you'll be a fucking zillionaire.

It's over. And who you are competing against? Who's the Czech Republic Richard prior at George Carlin? What's the competition? Dude, you're getting in at the ground floor. You could be the Lenny Bruce over there, right? I think it's a great fucking move. And I think you're gonna do well. Just hang in there. Because no matter where you're at, you're gonna be struggling, right? And while you're at you're gonna be struggling right and while you're at it You're in England you got this cool fucking accent right

Maybe you can take out your old fucking checkster there and stick it between some chicks beef curtains or whatever the fuck they say over there all right Eastern Europe Hello small tits Billy boy you were teasing with coming to Eastern Europe sometime ago Would you consider coming to Poland? Absolutely, I would. I was told to the south, southern part of Poland's great and up north along the water. I would be thrilled to see you live in my country. I'm a huge fan as is everyone who listens to you obviously. Well, that's what my ego says. Sincerely go fuck yourselves. Also, I remember watching you in Breaking Bad and I wasn't aware of you being such an awesome person and thinking every year. And every My ego says, sincerely go fuck yourself. Also, I remember watching you in breaking bad and I wasn't aware of you being such an awesome person

and thinking every, every time you partner on screen, I was like, who is that fan go look and do? To have a fuck you. Anyway, I can't even, is that a compliment? I don't even know. I would definitely come to Poland and I definitely wanna do Eastern Europe and I was talking to my

agent the other day about how we got to do Europe. I do it every other year so I didn't do it this year. I'm gonna do it next year. I do it every other year and I get my act together. You know what I mean? People going over there in a second fucking language. You know in some of those places people listening to me speaking English and they don't speak English as a first language. I got to make sure that like you know I can't be just riffing and fucking around I can do that in This country I can put together an act, but I'm not flying all the way over there to do that So I got to make sure that during my off year between specials. This is this is how it works. I put the shit together I'll take you through the whole thing. I do my special, and then immediately I start doing comedy clubs.

Any place I can get up at, and I get it in an hour of worth of shit that I can say by the time my special comes out. And then I hone that thing to the point where it's an acceptable level. And then I start torn with it on the road. And then I just start dropping jokes as better jokes come in. And then when I get it really ready to go, then I do the European shit. And then I come back and I take the special and then that's it. Then I start it all over again. And it never ends. All right. Here's something about Cleo. All right. Dear Billy Bruford, I have a theory on Cleo's behavior and an explanation for her peeing in the house. All right. For those

you who didn't listen last time or for those of you in the future who just grabbed this one out of a whole slew of them. How are you? Was there a nuclear holocaust? Well, great. You survived it. Are you in your bunker?

Now, many more cans of beans. Can you eat your cunt? What's it like living in a world without ESPN? Da, da, da, boo, boo, boo. Oh, you know what? If you're actually in a bunker without ESPN? Da da da da, boo-doo-boo. Oh, you know what, if you're actually in a bunker right now in the future and you're listening to me, I should probably be a little more positive, right? I should be okay.

Just what makes that little ol' ant think he can survive a meltdown from a nuclear plant? Everyone knows he's got sores all over his fucking face cuz he went He didn't stay That's why you'll be in that what they usually bury that those those things what they stick all the drugs in that sit on the Warps and they stick them on the back of trucks freight Freight fucking things. I don't know whatever Whatever they dealt with during the second season of the wire. Anyway, so the fuck was I talk, oh the fucking dog. So my dog has been having bladder issues every once in a while. She's just like peace, then no fucking reason. And our doctor was saying that's

because she was spayed and that's one of the things that happens sometimes, wants to get older. So this guy has a theory as to why she's been peeing a little bit in the house. She says, he says, I'm our, he or she, what do we got here? I don't know. All right. I'm a lifelong dog lover. I fucked my first dog when I was four. Sorry, it was an easy joke. I'm a lifelong dog lover and own two of my own. Remember last week you commented on how, when you got back from Torah, she slept all night

and then was sleeping in your office. While you did the podcast like she was on morphine, totally knocked out, it's because she loves you. You are the one person who takes her on hikes and gives her baths, et cetera. She's probably anxious loves you. You are the one person who takes her on hikes and gives her baths, etc. She's probably anxious when you're away and when you come home She's so relieved and relaxed that she just passes out now that I know I'm asking about the peeing here, sir All right, don't be answering apples with oranges

Now you're about to leave for tour and she's peeing in the house Dogs are very intuitive and can picked up on the littlest thing. She's picked up on signs that you'll be leaving again and as a result is feeling anxious which is causing her to pee inside. Pee inside the house, she peed inside like what inside of her. Just a thought but it could be what's going on. I think that's a great fucking theory. Good luck and see see you next weekend in New York All right, you know what? Thank you It's fucking phenomenal advice way better than anything. I've ever said on this podcast. Oh, come on bill

Don't don't beat up on yourself. Well, I know All right 89-year-old try stand up for the very first time 89 year old try stand up for the very first time Hey, Bill did you see the article in the video of the old guy trying to stand up for the first time at the first At first the video came out and he was praised then it came out that he lifted the jokes and some people turned on him saying it wasn't that Big of a deal if he memorized them I feel both ways seems like he could have put together a couple of one-liners with all the old people down time he has. Other part of me says he just wanted to stand in those shoes and see what it feels like. Like if you started flying

a helicopter at 89 but had the instructor take off, so he just did the cruising around in the air. Thoughts? Yeah, man, well first of all, he probably came from the handy young man error when most of those guys you know not saying had a young man stole but like back then like people just did street jokes to guys walk into a bar but uh... i actually think it's kind of cool that in eighty nine he's eighty nine years old so he had he got to feel like what it was like to do

stand up he got to feel like what it was like to be famous, you got to feel what it felt like, you got so famous that there was the backlash, you got called a thief, you got the whole fucking thing. Look at him, his second set's gonna be called his big comeback, like Travolta and fucking Pulp Fiction, I think it's wonderful, I'm glad that he did it, and I don't have any problem with him going,

that's a fucking adorable to see an old guy go up there at 89 telling old jokes. Come on. You're not a fucking, you got no blood in your heart if you didn't think that that was adorable. All right, corporations. Bill, I was doing some fall cleanup in my yard because the maple trees surrounding my house

likes to leave a nice mess during this time where I where I live the city requires that you put leaves and grass clippings and giant paper bags that you can purchase at various stores when the bags have filled up we set them out on the curb and they picked up during the week they usually cost around three dollars for a bundle of about five bags one thing I noticed on these bags which every store you buy them from, their logo and or slogans are printed all over the bags, like at a home improvement store. When they are sitting at the curb, the store logo is there for everyone to see who drives

a walk-spot to see. That's brilliant. I realize that because of this, I am advertising for that store for free or actually paying them to advertise for them. This is almost the same as if you bought a car from a dealership and put an emblem or a license plate to cover the car of the dealership. Oh my god, this is killing my brain. I just didn't get enough sleep. If I could find bags that were blank, I would get those, but I have not. I thought to tell you about this because you're a bit about automated cash registers at the checkout stores and was wondering what you take was on something like this.

Love your comedy, thanks, go fuck yourself. Ah, you know, I'm not gonna problem with something like that, who gives a fuck. You know, you went in, you needed bags, they had bags, you gave them to them, they put their names on them. I don't give a shit, you went in, you needed bags, they had bags, you gave them to them, they put their names on them. I don't give a shit. You know, it's no skin off my fucking back. My thing is working for free. I guess technically you could be a jerk and be like, you owe me money for advertising out in front of my house.

You know, start renting out the space at the end of your driveway. I mean, that might be a thing in the future, you know, a way to make money from home, like rent out your mailbox, let people put their logo on it. Um, it'd be hilarious and you have to start hoeing out your kids. Listen, you call up like Nestle and just say, listen, my oldest daughter, I'm not trying to be weird, but she's really hot and everybody wants to fuck her. So they're always driving by the house. So I was thinking, what if you guys put like your little fucking hot cocoa sign on the side of my mailbox, you know, so all those guys, you know, they'll think that, oh man, if I buy this hot cocoa, that they can fuck my daughter and they're not gonna do it. There's no way they're gonna do it because she's already banging one of her teachers.

You see what I'm saying Nestle and they'd be like, all right man, we'll fuck and do it. All right, new relationship. Hey Bill, I need your insight. I just started hanging out with this girl who's 17 years younger than me. Yes, we have had sex, but we have not had butt sex. What the fuck? I'm 45 and she's 28.

Every time I try to calm her down for that kind of action, her left leg starts spasming out and she freezes up. Should I dump her or move on. Oh shit. Okay, I just mocked the entire thing that I do at the end of my podcast and God damn it, I loved it. I loved every second of it. All right, well that's the podcast for this week. I don't know what to tell you. I'm in New York to do my final show of the year, year, year, my final road gig of the year.

All right, and I have already mentally, I'm already drinking eggnog. That's how excited I am about being home for the fucking holidays. I'm gonna be performing at Madison Square Garden, believe it or not, this Saturday, November 14th. And for those of you who saw, I put out a teaser for F is for family that's coming out on December 18th, everybody. And we put out a little teaser there and the rumor mill is that the trailer is going to be coming out soon and we can actually right now it's just sort of a little thing

just to you know you know they do it again. Well we're fucking getting you salvading for it but I'm really excited about that and check this shit out. I rented a drum kit To be set up At Madison Square Garden during the day. So during the day me and some of my friends are gonna go in and jam in an empty Madison Square Garden and It's gonna be fucking. It's gonna be fucking ridiculous It's gonna be fucking ridiculous and we're all like fucking old white guys. So we're just geeking out sending a set list You know

Would you do war pigs Just all this old white guy music Although that stands to test the time black Sabbath does I Challenge any fucking kit today. I don't give a fuck how many mouse heads people have if you put on black Sabbath There's no fucking way you can't appreciate that the level of quality in that music. So we're gonna be doing that and Yes, I will definitely take some video You know, it's really cool as it was a buddy mine forever. I've been trying to jam with them and It just never worked out. So I finally called him. I say, hey, man. I'm in New York

You want to get together Saturday and he goes, yeah, come on out to my place. I moved out to Jersey. I got a rehearsal space. And I said, Nah, man, I got a better space. And you know, he's proud of his space. And I know it's the shit. So he writes back. He's like, what the fuck? And then I hit him with it. Hey, let's go fucking play it out of Madison Square Garden. He fucking freaked, fucking freak. It's gonna be awesome. And for those of you who are already cringing, thinking that I'm easing my way to at some point, playing drums before or after one of my shows, during a live performance, I would never do that to you. Okay? Just know I would never do that.

Know that I know that I stink. All right. I know that I stink. I know that this is just a hobby. I know that I will never make a living. Okay, so fucking relax. All right. I'm just a middle-aged white dude. Fucking being a geek. I'm allowed to do that. All right. Okay. Well that's the podcast for this week. It's a little bit short But I'm a little short on time this week. I'll make it up to you on Thursday That's it don't take any shit go fuck yourselves and I'll check it on you on Thursday What's up everybody and welcome back to the anything better podcast NFL edition sponsored by bet MGM and we are about to get into week number 10.

I can't even believe I'm saying that dude. Like I really feel like we just started this and half the season is over. We got some fun. We got some good games this week, but first of course we got a shout out to bet MGM app guys. You guys know how it works by now. If you've been listening to the show, you've been listening to our picks. Go to BEMGM, download the app and use a bonus code of burr200. That's a BURR200, okay?

Couldn't be easier. You put that code in, you put as little as $10 in the account, you get up to $200 in bets regardless of the outcome of your first wager, okay? Doesn't matter, bet responsibly, have a great time. Also, they still have a survivor pool. I believe they still have the survivor pool. You get some prizes, but it won't be obviously what the grand prize is.

So download the bet MGM app today. Use bonus code, BURR200, that's for 200, put in 10 bucks and you will get $200 in best regards of the outcome of your bet. Now Bill, the giant season's over. It's, we're two and seven. I believe you have. I mean, what's with that spread this week?

Jesus Christ. Oh my God, 16 and a half. I mean, what's with that spread this week? Jesus Christ. Oh my God. 16 and a half. I mean, it's I know. Well, you got you got a fucking, you got like some guy. I don't know. Third, third string guy playing quarterback at this point. Yeah, he's a third string quarterback.

And I hate to say it, but his name is Tommy DeVito. He's an Italian kid from Jersey. Look, I'm going to lay off. No, but he doesn't look. I'll be honest, and this is no disrespect. I do love the gold chains that he's got out, but he just doesn't look the part, man. You know, you know, Tommy me, Tommy D is going to be owning a pizza, a dealership. He's going to have his giant thing. He's going to ride that for a while. Patriots, I believe patriots are also two and seven. Who would have thunk it, Bill? Who would have fucking thunk it?

They're calling for Bill Belichx job. The morons. You can fucking believe that. You believe that? I mean, that's the day. In this day, I went on second believe apalcus. It's just what they do to try to get people stirred up. And I just, I I just I was staying on my my Thursday afternoon podcast. I was saying if they fired him that goes up there with them throwing oakley out of the garden. Oh, you put it there. Yeah, that's yeah. Yeah. Just embarrassing. It would just be embarrassing like to do that. I I don't even want to think about it. Paul, don't bring it up, okay? Hey, well, I actually think that that's just a little media talk. Bob Craft would never do that. You're really seeing about, you're seeing around the corners. Bob Craft would never do that. No way. Over his dead body. Bob Craft. What?

They said Bob Craft, that Robert look too. Now Now after he got with that scandal with the massage thing, I got all the after that here after that, it's Bobby to me. What are you doing? What are you? I'm getting we're in Florida. We all like to have a good time. But you know, we can have this week. Can have it.

Bill, what do you think about the dolphins? Not beating any teams that are basically have a winning record are the dolphins for real or no Paul if you had any sense you'd stay away from that division Yeah, the whole fucking division. I don't even know like I mean the jets are the only one that have a fucking excuse I mean the jets are the only one that have a fucking excuse Excuse jets are always have a fucking excuse. You have done too many goddamn shows Aaron Rogers to go on down. That's the only legitimate excuse the fucking bills are supposed to be somebody who are they pop? Paul they're fucking coming to going They're five and four all this fucking talk all this fucking I

Five and fucking four the dolphins all of a sudden we're looking like they were gonna do something and now what are they I mean who are they Paul how about the Ravens dude they look good there's a lot of the Ravens look good but what about also Joe Burrow the Ravens fucking look good but I bet I'm against fucking Arizona so I don't think they look that good Paul I like Joe Burrow and the bangles here. All right, we're gonna get into these picks. It's week number 10.

We are collectively above 500. We are always right there. You know what I'm gonna be? I went to it till last week, Paul. I'm trying to hang with you. Before we get into this, before we get into this, I just wanna say something that I realized, I was thinking about this last set,

I was like, I gotta bring this up on the show. A lot of X NFL players are not good at picking games, and I figured out why. Like Tiki Barber was on the radio, he's like, I'm bad at Tiki Barber's like nine games under 500, and he's going on bad at this, and I figured out why a lot of players aren't good at it, because they have the mentality

of being in that locker room going, yeah, we're eight point underdogs. We're gonna show you this week and they carry that. They carry that with them when they see a team, they're like, no, they're gonna come out and they're gonna do it because they still have the competitive thing and I think it clouds their minds with picks.

That's just my take on it, but that's what I think it is. I just don't think they watch football. Do they have to for their job? Paul, do you watch stand-up comedy? No. No. No. I know that is true.

But does I want to think it would make them miss it? I would actually love to see. You know whose paper I'd love to see? I'd love to see Tony Romo pick five games a week. Do that guy would be, I think that that guy would be like tops. Dude, what about that fucking guy who was in jail? He needed $10,000 bail and he did like a 10 team parlay. No.

And he fucking hit it, dude. He had all of these teams and then I know where he goes. Let me get the New York Liberty. And he goes, yeah, the WNBA. He picked the WNBA. He picked the WNBA game. ESPN should hire that guy. What? And he got bailed because of it. Yeah. I mean, granted, there was one week, but it was like a fucking 18 team. It was unbelievable. Dude, that's a Hollywood movie. A guy is in jail, but his sports knowledge gets him out.

Dude, I had a dream last night. I was pitching my next fucking movie And it was these I was pitching to these women that were they were living in like the top of a school Fucking house and they had like all the kids had like painted on the floor and shit And I was walking around my bare feet getting like pain on my foot. I don't know why I was and they just kept saying I was trying to picture my idea and they just kept going. That just stupidest idea I've ever heard and they were laughing at me and I was thinking you have fuck all you cunts, but I didn't say it and I just walked out You know when you first started that I thought you were gonna say I had this dream I was pitching. Like you were pitching in the big game? Oh no, I was pitching in the next movie.

Which by the way, I can finally fucking tell people, thank you, the strike sober, right? Can I finally talk about it? Thank you everyone who wants to go see Old Dad's. Old Polly Versus in there. Yeah, that was dude, it was a great movie man. I got Joey being, I got all my buddies in there. Joey be throwing haymakers, that's a great great great movie man. Congratulations on all the success too. It's well deserved. I love it. Hey Paul it was for the people you know

not the fucking lunatics on the French. The French people didn't lie all the way to the left all the way to the right. They didn't like it. Guess what Paul? Huh? Guess what? That guy getting that bacon egg and cheese he liked it. There you go All right, here we go. I I believe I have pick number one to I'm the first pick today because it is a Hey, pick Paul after you, you know after you week 10 here we go I'm just gonna kill myself you don't have the balls All right. No, what? You know, are we going to do that on here? I don't know. I don't think so. No, we don't. All right. Now listen, I have hit the last three Thursday nights in a row. And then I looked at this Thursday

and I go, Panthers, Bears. And then I looked where it was and I go, Bears at home. And then I saw the spread and I said three and a half, I'm not touching it. But oh, something happened. Something happened in the witching hour. That spread, because the one thing I didn't like I'm not touching it, but oh, oh, something happened. Something happened in the witching hour.

That spread, because the one thing I didn't like was the half a point. That's what I was gonna say, but that half a point went bye-bye in the last little bit. And now the bears are three point favorites at home against the hapless one-win Carolina Panthers. They got a backup quarterback that's doing pretty good. They're tight end Cole Komet, who was at my show in Zaini's at Chicago this year.

He's playing really well. Since I have a three game win streak in a row on Thursday and the spread went from three and a half to three. I am taking the Chicago Bears. I'm gonna pull these, gonna pour themself a glass of red wine tonight. And I'm gonna sit down and I'm gonna watch the Bears It Sold Your Field win that game by three and hopefully start my week one and oh

for the fourth week in a row. I got the Chicago Bears tonight, baby. At home, cold weather, Chicago, Caroline, a Panther, Panther, don't survive in the gold. I like that. There we go. All right, Paul. My first pick of the week, I'm taking the New England Patriots.

Oh, he's taking them in Germany. I'm taking the Patriots. I don't have to tell you Paul. I'm telling anybody what? You don't. You don't. I'm taking Bill Bell and checking the fucking Patriots. All right. Oh, you know why Paul you know why huh?

It was out of respect. I got to tell you something dude The rumblings even the fucking nerve to even have a reporter say is Bill Bellicic and Jeopardy Even for that to be out there in the ether that That has not gonna do it, Bill Bellicech. It has to do with that reporter's marriage. Bill, it's their own personal bullshit. Bill Bellicech, getting one and a half in Europe. Oh, I love it. That's a great pick. That's a great pick.

I will tell you this, though, dude, that fucking team meets the smart enough, and they need to be playing Bill Bellicech, fucking fucking football because they're not. That bullshit I saw last week. Stupid mental mistakes and the goddamn penalties. I just think Bill is not having it. You texted me smart enough. I was just picturein' you goin' in the locker room.

Hey, smart enough. But you texted me somethin' that was really, I was like, he's right. Me and you watch football the same. We really do. Watching it at your house, that was the best. But you said something to me where when the, when the patriot guy was yelling on the sideline and pointing, you were like, dude, this is not what the patriots do. And you're right. It's like it turned, it seems like they need to. No, no coach went over there and told him to shut the fuck up. So that's the thing that kind of is scary me.

Like I think, you know, maybe they're just frustrated, Paul. Maybe they're just frustrated. I don't know what it is. But the memes with Josh McDaniel, there's memes of like, you'll just see like somebody outside of a gate going like this. And it just says, Josh McDaniel's trying to get back in the building. There's memes of like you'll just see like somebody outside of a gate going like this. And it just says Josh McDaniel's trying to get back in the building. Oh, yeah.

Oh, guys, has he gone away to college, only to move back home? Josh, you said you were going to buckle down. You're going to hit the books. What happened? All right, dude, this is I'm not going to lie. This is a tough week because all these teams these are all good Dude, Lions chargers fucking, you know, I mean, I don't know dude Saints Vikings both two and a half a lot of low lines except the Giants

16 and a half and I hate to say it, but I could see the Giants losing that game by 30. I'm not touching that game I to say it, but I could see the Giants lose in that game by 30. I'm not touching that game. I have to do this. This to me is a no-brainer. I'm going to take the Raiders over the jets because the jets can't score and the Raiders have a new coach and they're playing for a coach that they seem to like. I saw them smoking cigars in the locker room laughing. How the fuck an idiot. I knew you weren't going to take the Patriots. Why did I take it first? I wanted to, I wanted the Raiders too. I love the Raiders this week.

Yeah. Um, I actually really enjoy like that whole team dude. It is just a fucking different team with that Raider that new coach his vibe is just fucking different you see it all the guys from the taxi squad standing on the sideline he goes why they play all week two it's like oh here we go here we go they're finally gonna I don't know I don't know what's going on but like that the whole vibe fucking changed they have fun goddamn team to watch and they are loaded with talent part to that kid Max that kid Max Crosby do that fucking that that defensive and you can say it that fucking ginger yeah no no I said no I already I already I heard

it too much that's insane that no, dude, that guy, talking about disruptive. Dude, that guy's a throwback, man. That guy's a, that guy's like, man, and his nickname is Mad Max. I mean, it's incredible. That Max could have played in any areas. One of those guys, all right, Paul.

I'm gonna take the Lions. Oh my God, he's not shying away. Oh, bye week. Taking the Lions, you know why Paul, because the charges are the charges. Now usually the lines are the lines, but I think this is a new look lines team and they win a game like this.

They're all rested up. I like their coach better. I like the chemistry. I just like the way they fucking, you know, I mean, it's a fucking three point spread Paul. That's basically a pick them. It basically is. All of this shit this week Paul. So basically, who do you it's a fucking three-point spread call. That's basically a pick them. It's basically, yes, all of this shit this week, Paul. So basically, who do you think's gonna win again?

Who do I think, Paul? I gotta be honest with you, I like how you're coming out this week. You're coming up to the line of scrimmage, doing this. You're just, you just know, you're looking at reads. You just, you came out. But I might go back and fucking collapse like Daniel Jones. You never know

Paul can happen but you might throw pick six six six and That fucking point at the receiver like he broke out for his route and it wasn't my fault All right, man Yeah, you know what you make a good point you make a good point It's once in a while Paul. No, it is these it is. These lines are so close that it's like, who's the better team? Who's going to win the game? I am Vegas. I think the Vegas is going to win the game.

I think the Buccaneers, I like the Bucks. They're, they're minus. Paul Versey and that NFC South. Nothing scares me like the NFC South. You got two NFC South games of Paul's Gold, writing with them Gators. Here's a deal. I saw the look on I saw the look on Baker Mayfield's face when they lost last minute last last you know towards the end of the game and he was devastated. They're at home. They're playing the Titans who I don't know who the Titans are. It's a one-point line and the Bucks are in Tampa. I'm going to take the B the Titans are. It's a one-point line and the bucks are in Tampa. I'm gonna take the bucks minus one.

It's basically a pick them. All right, I'm gonna say some about Baker Mayfield. You know who he is? You know what his career is reminding me of he's a modern-day dud slutie. We just can't get the fuck in respect. He keeps going to shit franchises and he fucking, he's winning.

And he fucking, he just doesn't get the respect he deserves. Yeah. No, look, no, no, no, I saw him. I saw him up close last year in Game 3, against the Giants. He can't make all the like, I think his size, I think his size is part of a little bit of a distance. Doug Flutey, Doug Flutey, you can't see over the line.

What do you say to the final store? Okay. Oh, dude, I got three favorites, even though they're like pickups. I don't like that. I usually don't do good when they're all the same. What do you got, Phil? I like the Cleveland Browns getting six against the Ravens. Oh shit. You can't lay off a Raven game. I never said anything like it.

No, I just feel like the Cleveland Browns are, is Deshaun Watson back? Whoever the fuck? I don't know what's going on with Cleveland.'t know. I know they just fucking they play. They play well. They're in every game. They're in every game. And I don't know the Ravens. I mean, they think, you know, yeah, I know I like this. I love the Ravens.

I know, you know, I love them to lose to the chiefs and the fucking AFC championship game. So little fucking twinkle toes. I love Patrick Mahomes, but I hate the way he runs. There's something about the way he runs. I just cannot get behind the Kansas City Chiefs. His knees touch. He takes little steps.

I don't know what it is, Paul. Looks like he's running in his dad's shoes or something. It's just something about it. I can't handle it. Dude, that's a great pick. It's just something about it. I can't handle it. Dude, that's a great pick. Brown's getting six, getting six to Sean Watson is back and they have a good defense. That's a great pick, man.

Paul, he's rested and relaxed if you know what I mean. He's always rested and relaxed. He's always rested and relaxed. He's always rested and relaxed. For my fourth and final pick of week number 10, I am going to take the Pittsburgh Steelers minus three against a, against a packer team that is just, you know, kind of not that good this year with a new quarterback. I don't know who they are. And I know that Mike Tomlin is good at home. And I think the Steelers need another win.

So I'm going to take the Steelers getting three. And I'm really just basing that off of the Steelers being home and not on the road and the line being only a field bill. So there you go. And we both love the city of Pittsburgh. We both love the city of Pittsburgh. It's an underrated city. Great people, great food, beautiful bridges, great baseball field, good coach. Joe Bartonix from there. There you go. Randy. Randy Bowling and Bill Crawford on TV. Yeah, I mean, look, what's that to like Paul? Mario and you. The way you're sitting lets me know you're confident about your fourth and final pick.

You look very. Maybe there's no more love in this relationship, and I don't give a fuck what happens. You know that guy was wife's yelling at him and he doesn't even give a fuck anymore. That's why you just get a sit there. What am I allowed to do that? You're gonna picture about that too. It immediately goes out and fucks your personal trainer. That he's paying for.

I'm gonna take, I know, I sort of got to give him these fucking situation. I really lucked out in the wife department. I really did. I will say this, I'm taking the sense in any Bengals poll. I like a healthy Joe Burrow, and I want to watch a Bengals game because I really enjoy watching that team play. They're fucking solid on both sides of the balls and everybody's talking about the Ravens

poll. You better watch out, Paul. You better watch come playoff time. No, they're going to the Bengals. You know, I think that they got, I think they already, they already wedded their fucking storm. They got the sales up. They're starting to catch a win and here they come. Here they come Paul. Dude, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, LSU. The Cincinnati Bengals are going to the AOC championship game for sure. I'm Paul dude. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, LSU. The Cincinnati Bengals are going to the AFC Championship game for sure.

I know. First one. I know how you just took my fucking pick from me. No, that's your pick. But I'm saying it. No, wait, do you think it's going to be Cincinnati versus the Ravens? Oh, you just saying the Ravens are going to do great in the fucking regular season? No, no, no, no.

I'm talking about how the Ravens are good now, but I think Cincinnati will probably be back in the AFC Championship game against the Chiefs, like they were last year. That's literally what I just said. Did you? I just said, you're talking about the fucking rate. You know what I mean, listen, you don't even listen to me anymore, Paul.

Sorry, sorry. I thought maybe that's what I thought I said. I love the pick. I love the pick. What does Taylor Swift think about it, huh? Dude, you know she went around this fucking business and went straight to AMC released her movie and made like a billion dollars The fucking love this shit. I mean, I can't listen to music. I'm not gonna lie to you Okay, I don't have access to crying anymore. You know, so her music does nothing for me. Dude. She's got a couple bangers, dude. I'm not gonna lie

know what, so her music does nothing for me. Dude, she's got a couple bangers, dude. I'm not gonna lie. Does she? Yeah. I mean, I'm excited. I'm gonna come to me. I don't give shit. Cause a fucking strong woman.

Ooh, be doop, be doop. Nothing. No. No. No. Dude, she's throwing nothing but shit right down the fucking pipe to those 15 yearyear-old chicks. Fucking brilliant.

She ought to be on the cover of Forbes Magazine. Dude, she's 30 years old, crushing it. I just crushed it. No, dude, I don't mean right and hits. What she's doing in the business. What she's doing to them is what they're trying to do to us Paul Yeah, good for that dude that deal they just signed is only for fucking three years dude And each time they're gonna take more of a chunk out of that fucking AI thing and then eventually you and I don't exist anymore

But then you know what's great is they're gonna use the AI they're gonna use it that AI shit to get rid of each other And then it's just gonna be one person left who makes all the fucking TV and he just lays in bed and all the money and he goes give me a turd teen on me to start saying to you where the fucking fucking guy is and it's gonna all come together. Get a robot over here and the fucking blow man. They are fucking sociopaths. They're fucking sociopaths. And for all you regular people out there, all you ham and eggers. AI is not for you. It's for them. It's for them. They're gonna make a sub-sleeve, Paul. Hey Bill, but you want to know what AI is not gonna be able to do? Pick this next fucking game.

Pick these games like we do. Come on, fucking AI. I got it. AI doesn't see it like I see it. You know what? That sounds like what you're going to say is they lead you out in cuffs and your AI replacement is that you doesn't see it the way I do. Ask everybody loves me.

Nobody had the bears. I do ask everybody loves me Nobody had the bears No, you you can't program some robot to talk shit the way I do You know why it comes from in here. You can't point the heart because I got your confidence in me That's so fucking funny. All right, Bill. Dude, we have been coming so close to these specials. We have been coming. So, I mean, we got everything early

and I texted Bill in the second quarter and I go, dude, we just need a Justin Herbert touched out throw. Eccler scored, they're gonna win the game and I'm like, it's done. And he doesn't do it because they're fucking, because the just, the just put no pressure on them because they can't score. And their defense was out there, whatever. Anyway. All right, guys. So this week's Monday night special. The Monday night game is the Denver

Broncos at the Buffalo Bills. The bills are given seven and a half points to the Broncos. I don't know, Bill. What do you think here? I know Russell Wilson's your guy. What do you think? I hate this game because I think the Broncos are good at this a perfect number. They're good enough to hang in there and the bills just keep tripping over their own goddamn feet. Josh Allen to throw one for sure, no? Yeah. Okay. You want to do over under and not touch the spread? What the fuck is going on with the bills? Five and four.

You know what? I'm over those guys. I'm over them. If I had to pick the game poll with seven and a half, I'd take the Broncos. All right. There's something going on. I think like Vegas knows that they're going fucking show up and they got to have just enough Just enough for like the bills are gonna win

But I don't think they're gonna win by seven up and I wouldn't surprise me if the fucking Broncos one because I just Just dumb shit always happens Some hapless fucking team all of a sudden is a two game win streak in the middle of November I like to row then they just shit the bed for the rest of the season. You know what? I like the way you said that. I think you're right. Let's go. Let's take Paul, you're mistaking my sleeping is for confidence this week. Just know that. All right, Paul, you're the one looking around corners. I mean, Paul, you're crushing it so hard. You weren't a jersey of a sport. You don't

even watch. I mean, that's the level that you're strutting around right now I didn't want to bring it up. I tried to wait, but I just have to be like You probably think that's an actual team in the fucking I know it's a movie. I know, but look I got my name on the back That's fucking sacrilegious But look, I got my name on the back. That's fucking sacrilegious. Well, I know, but it was a gift and I figured, hey, you know, Paul Newman, you know, I like Paul Newman.

That's the jersey to get. Cause everybody has like one of the, the handsome brothers on the back. You get the Paul Newman, but you don't get the guy that got the strip tease. Yeah. Um, all right don't get the guy that got the strip tease All right, so let's do that. We're gonna do Josh Allen's gonna throw one I love Josh. I'm gonna take the points

We're gonna take the seven and a half points and now we need a third what should be the third should the third be a Russell Wilson throw touch down I'm already took we already took the Broncos, Paul. How far into this fucking underdog shit are we gonna go? You don't think Russell will throw one? I don't know. Do we need something safe like Dick's, Dick's, Dick's score a touchdown or something? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Now, Andrew Themlas says bury the under, but I don't wanna lose to that. You know, I don't wanna lose to that because if it's a shootout, I love the under, I think it's gonna be a shippking.

Okay. This has Thursday night football written all over it. I don't know why. No, it's Monday night though. I know, but it feels like a Thursday night game. It's like it's going to be like a Thursday night game. All right. You know what? We'll do it. I like your instincts today. The way you say it. Yeah, because you know, I know the bills need to fucking win. I think you said your second to fucking get out of the road guys. I'm way and I think they get a little frustrated in there. The Broncos don't give a fuck. Okay.

They don't even have their quarterbacks phone number. All right. So they just die, it gives a shit. Now they're playing for their contracts next year, so they don't get let go. Bill is not going to sing the Monday night special till we hit one. Okay. So they already sang Taylor Swift this week. I can't fucking sing anything. Bill is not going to sing the Monday night special till we hit one. Hey, are you saying Taylor Swift this week? I can't fucking sing anything. Hey, hey, hey, hey, Swifties, no disrespect.

Okay, we're going to take seven and a half points for the Broncos. We are going to take under 47. Is that right, Andrew? Under 47, seven and a half for the Broncos and Josh Allen to throw a touchdown? Is that why we don't hit Paul we always like fucking Bet the other team and then bet the other teams quarterback to throw a touchdown So do you want to do it reverse? Do you want to do do you want to do all Broncos and the under you know because This is going to be the fucking week that happens. No, we're going to yeah. Hey Paul,

you dance with who brought you? Well, there you have it, everybody. Those are your picks for week number 10. It's a pick them week. I call week number 10. This is the pick them week. It's this parody parody week There you have to show you how good the NFL product is Paul It's I got to tell you something man. You don't have to Paul. Sometimes you can I don't think the The officials man they were really on point in that jet scan The officials man, they were really on point in that Jets game. Like every time there was a call and everybody booed, you'd see it, you'd just see the guy

just pulled a jersey and the fucking corner back is going, yeah, I did it. I was like, all right, it's good flags. Except- You know, speaking of great officials, I watched that video like three times before I went to bed last night, where the Metz manager comes running out of the dugout. You got to give us a shot. You know that. But why don't give us a shot. You know that. But why don't we get a shot?

That fucking bullshit. The fucking MLB didn't do shit to that guy. They do fucking shit to him. Tommy, you know where I stand on that. Tommy, you know where I stand on that? Come on, walk with me. Walk with me. That was great, wasn't it?

Listen to me selecting here what I'm saying. That's my favorite line. Tommy, talk to me. All right, that's it. We did it. Oh, sorry. Did I bring it down? I love that fucking. I love that video.

You got to give us a shot. That cock sucker. He said that too. He went hard. He went up there. He looked right at the ramp. He went, you cock sucker. And the up didn. He went hard. He went up there. He looked right at the rump. He went, you cock sucker and he upped in from up because of that. I think that up kind of knew he wasn't cock sucker. Tommy, walk with me. Walk with me. He said, I got to listen to what I say. I didn't hear that for it. Listen to me so I can hear what I'm

saying. That's great. And then he goes, okay, it's good. You got it out. You got it out. And then he just sort of watches the meds manager walk and then he just fucking cheels up. But there we go. Yeah, that's one of my favorite, that's probably one of my favorite ones because it's the most candid one ever. Rest in peace, Bobby Knight, even though if that guy was ever my coach's son, I would have, but when you're a coach's son, your son's coach. My son's coach. How about that? The next, huh? Last night. Well, that kid came in that webbing yama seven four kid from the the Spurs and I just like beating Greg Popovich. I'm not a Greg Popovich guy. How? Coaching wise, he's great, but he's a dick.

He's a personal dick. He's treated too many reporters with disrespect. He's treated human horrors. Like even Craig Sager, he was short with rest his soul. He's just a he's just an unhappy man I could see it in his face. I know for a fact. I Know for a imagine if you had to fucking take questions after you stand up sets. I would be nice So I am Okay, after a tough fucking set Paul. No, yeah, yeah, I mean, why did you, why did you feel like you, you know, do you feel like maybe you shouldn't have gone that hard on your wife on stage? That's different.

They don't do that. They just don't know. Oh, they're talking about the game. They would be talking about your, I know, but when you see somebody just go like, hey, man, you guys shot 34% man. Any adjustments you're gonna make and he just looks at him like, yeah, we're gonna. And then it's like, all right, dude, I don't know.

I don't like mean, I don't like unhappy people. I don't get time for it anymore. You know? I don't like that. He never struck me as unhappy. Oh, dude. Does Bill Parse tell you used to do that all the time? You fucking love that guy. He never struck me as unhappy. Oh, dude. Bill Parse tells you to do that all the time. You fucking love that guy.

He's a dick, too. He's a dick. Yeah. I guess I don't know. I like when they fucking, it's supposed to just collectively sports writers. Because you know something, and I'll tell you why Bill Belichick is in a dick. Bill Belichick would do it in the funniest way because he would do it almost like he was sad. He would just go, he would just go, yeah, we're gonna work on that, we're gonna just,

and like you were like, okay, he's not going to add people. But like Greg Poppich would be like, is that a good question? Is that a fucking, is that a, it's like you also had fucking heart. I get it. There's a little bit of ego in there. I, there is. There is. That was my thing with, you know, Rester's soul Bobby Knight. I thought at the end, he kind of felt like he had to ramp it up or whatever. With the, with earlier on, it was more like authentic. Bobby Knight was a really hard guy for me to watch

in some of those losing their tempers because I saw a lot of myself. I saw a lot of myself. I saw a lot of myself. Wait, wait, wait, wait, without the championships. But I think- You know, I got a lot of Bobby Knight and me, Paul, just not the successful buck.

But you know what I feel like Bill I feel like if like coaches like coach K like coach K is a guy that I would run through a wall for because I feel like that guy wants me I maybe I'm wrong but I feel like that guy would want me to be a better person in life and it wouldn't be about him. I would have a hard time running through a wall for Bobby night because Bobby night is all about him and his wins. Well, if he had a hard time, he would have had no problem throwing you through the fucking wall. I know. Dude, when he grabbed that kid by the fucking throat, man, on camera, he grabbed that kid

by the fucking throat, dude. And obviously he got fired, but like, I mean, dude, at what point are you illunatic? Like, what? And I love how like Isaiah Thomas and people are like, no, he's just passionate. He's a great guy. It's like, he grabbed the kid by his fucking throat, too. It's like Yeah, I know what I do. Yeah, I do like people the amount of people that grew up in a fucking

dysfunctional family so they relate to it and they go, I'm sorry, but this is what good coaching is and everything. It's just like, you know, he wasn't great coaching everything, but like there's a lot of that stuff is, I just got more fascinated like, like that guy needed to do mushrooms, like nobody ever met my son. I just figured out, I can't imagine what his dad was like. No. Because everybody kind of, you know,

settles it down or whatever, but I'll tell you, I went and I saw him when he was at Indiana and it was fucking, I mean, I was almost not watching a game sometimes when he was like yelling other thing. It was fucking unbelievable, like the level that he was fucking yelling. Oh my God dude. It was like he was like this fuck I don't want to do it I'll hurt my neck like it was just it was just completely fucking unhinged completely fucking unhinged like I can't believe he lived as long as he did with how much he hated losing. I mean, I just, like, that's why I think he was so fucking great.

I mean, that guy fucking hated losing, like, the level of frustrated he would fucking get and those golf things that he's doing. Yeah. You know what I think? That's the things that he's doing. Yeah, you know what I think that's the part that made me not then I see like you know when everyone's standing around. No it's okay you know hey you know doing a project trying to keep him like common shit. Yeah dude a guy fucking guy was, you can say whatever you want about him. I could do definitely fucking care. There's another fucking more shit shot. I remember, I remember I had a keyboard in class just thinking about coaching.

I had a keyboard in class in high school and the coach's name, I mean the, the keyboard in teacher's name, who was also the varsity coach for years was swear to God, his name was Mr. Nickabocker. And everybody called him Mr. Nick. And he was the nicest man and the calmest man and amazing. And he liked me and we talked in key boarding and he goes, man, he goes, I had to stop coaching the high school team after a couple of decades. He goes, he goes, I would lose sleep over, he goes, I'd be in my home and he goes, and I would lose sleep over, he goes, I'd be in my home, and he goes, and I would lose sleep over it. And it's like, I'm this year, I'm coaching Sofia Sixth grade team.

And last year I was assistant coach, we were nine and two, we got fucked in a championship, but I hold it, I remember what happened, and I hold it, and I'm going, I couldn't do, dude, you know all the years I opened for you, doing comedy? You know, it's crazy, as I realize, I haven't opened for you in six years, dude.

That's how long it's been since, how crazy that it is. But I remember the bad ones. And there was only two that really stick out with me. Not bad. The Edmonton one wasn't bad, but that's when I tried that one when you go try that joke. And it was the joke where I said, every time you go to someone's house, you see the wedding picture and the wife looks like she was training for a de-cathalon, she's all fucking, you see her jawline.

And then I said, and then it goes to shit and I go, why don't you just have halfway, just have like halfway. So I know what I'm looking at the next 30 years. And dude, you just heard one voice in a 3000th theater, You just heard one guy go, oh my God, dude, and I was having a good set until I did that. And I remember that. What are you gonna learn not to listen to me? I remember that one.

And I remember I tried to knew on our count Basie. And I remember I lost him. I did a count Basie thing and I lost him. But it's funny. So the point of Basie theater, not about count basic. The count basic theater, I did, I was having a good set and then halfway through, I tried something and I lost them. But out of all the years of open and for you and we've had some epic ones, those two,

I remember me making a decision and whatever. I don't know if I could be a coach because I look back at like the coach of the bills when he's beating the Bengals in the AFC championship game with 13 seconds left. And Josh Allen goes down, it goes and they're all on the thing and there's 13 seconds left. And then they lose that game. Or the Atlanta Falcons in the Super Bowl against a New England Patriots 28 to three with eight minutes left in the third. Losing that game, dude. I don't know if you come back from that in life, dude. In life, that's tough.

It's like, I don't think I'd be a good coach because I'd be too busy trying to psychologically help out the right fielder. Just being like, listen, man, I don't know why you're out here if your dad wanted to come out here, but you know this is all bullshit, right? Alright, you're a good dude. What checked you like?

Go up and talk to her. Who gives a fuck if she says no. I will be too busy focusing on rather than the next five games, I'll be focusing on the right fielders next five years of his life. So he just doesn't get the sunken shoulders and just give him to fucking losing, like losing, becoming a part of him. Yeah, well, I could see you losing it on a ref.

I could see how. Are they younger me, what up? I couldn't do that. Cause I, especially if I was coaching my kids team, I wouldn't want to embarrass my kid. How impressive is it that Tony Dungee never lost his shit? I don't think I've ever seen him lose his shit when he was on the silence.

Any one is super bowl. Dude, what does Tony Dungee eat all day? Celery? I've never seen a guy that old, that fucking thin. And he's always been that thin. What is he doing? He's easy to run. He's very thin. I'm Celery. He eats What is he doing? He's easy runner. I'm jealous.

It's he eats the fucking leaf on top of the salary too. It tells me up. Yeah, he's a thin man. Night, what a nice human being man. See a guy like that. See, I need a player's coach, dude, for me, you know, me, dude. If I got yelled at and you were on my team, I'd go to your locker and be like, this fucking guy suits it. I'm not fucking play. I'm a fucking. Oh, you turned the locker room around on me. Oh Jesus Christ Paul. I'd be the cancer. No. I love Tony Dungeon. He yelled at me Bill.

Fuckin' it. He be like Paul. Just just too good. He'll be like, no, no, no. He just shouldn't talk to me like that. My dad didn't talk to me like that. Oh, another hair haul of fame first ballot guy who Raymond Bork from the Boston Bruins Oh, okay, I don't know him too. It looks like he's got a fucking beaver on his head Is it real? Yes, wow It is the thing where you know you just got fucking great hair You have the same fucking haircut you had when you were 20, that you have when you're in your 60s.

I know, I know. But I found out he's got all the hair. He could, he could, not like fucking, you know, some people like they keep it but it gets, it gets thin. He has all the soldiers. Jason Lawhead's father, coach. Remember his hair?

Oh, it's lawhead, yeah. Coach Lawhead's in high school basketball, coaching Hall of Fame. His head in the conversation. His head of hair. Remember? Oh, no, he does. No, he has like, listen, if that's 70s hair, you know, it's like curly too. But if you get to 70 years old and you still have you still have healthy

It's just in the jeans. It's incredible. Oh, they could reboot Ben Hur and if they fucking died his hair, he could fucking be in it This has been I would give you some overtime gave you some we gave you a real podcast there been, we gave you some overtime, we gave you a real podcast there. This has been episode 10. Enjoy the week of games. Don't forget our Monday night special is the Denver Broncos getting seven and a half under 47 and Josh Allen to throw a touchdown. Go to the BDMGM app, download that app and and use our code, bonus code, BURR200, burr 200, put in as little as $10, and you get up to $200 in bets, regardless of the outcome of

your wage. It's fun, bet responsibly, have a great time with it, enjoy the games, enjoy the week, and let's go. They fall, enjoy your life. Let's go bears tonight, baby. Let's get it for an arrow for Thursdays in a row. Let's do it. And there's a lot to hold. I will see you guys next week. Take care. All right. Bye bye.