Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 12-10-20

Episode Date: December 10, 2020

Bill rambles with Kevin Bacon about playing Boston cops, being a dad, and 'three on the tree'.

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Visit Genesight.com for more information. Okay what's up everybody and welcome to another wonderful edition of the Thursday afternoon just before Friday Monday morning podcast. I'm just checking in on you with a very special guest that I promised that I teased on Monday. Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the incredibly talented Mr. Kevin Bacon. Are you on the road? I heard you were going to Texas. I think that's what I am.

Yes I am. This is the final night, eight nights, sixteen shows. I realized how old I am now. Just doing sixteen shows indoors would have been hard enough but like outside, I feel like I've been yelling at the tailgate for a week. How's it been going? I mean first off, you know, listen, tailgate comedy doesn't, doesn't Texas just say tailgate comedy?

That's the place to do it right? Yeah but you don't want to be the only guy talking at the tailgate. I don't mind chiming in and then having a couple of beers when I used to drink but it's just sort of the first one we did was in Dallas which was a great venue but it was more of a music venue and there was a highway nearby and it was like final approach for like Love Field. There was a lot of stuff going on but the people event like just ridiculous, like the fact that they're going to sit there in the cold under blankets listening to me do my

dumb jokes, you know, you know, kind of like I couldn't get too upset with, I got frustrated because I want to give them a show so I got frustrated with a little bit of the distractions on some of them but like the fact that they were sitting there the way they were on cold grass under blankets, I'm like, all right, well I can't bitch about this too much. So Dallas was cool, I went to Austin, Austin was crazy, those people got after it. I thought that they were going to be like super mellow, you know, the liberal town and it was sort of the exact opposite. Yeah, they were partying and then I did one night last night here in Houston and they

were great, they were great. So well, good for you, man, I mean, I first off I think your jokes are anything but dumb and I think it's I think that's really cool that you were able to get out there and do your thing. Oh, yeah, I mean, I got a mortgage so I got to get it isn't just for for love of comedy. Have you gone out and done anything? I know you do the Bacon Brothers stuff. Yeah, no, we have not we've not played the Bacon Brothers actually when the when the

pandemic hit we were actually in the studio. It's so weird to think back on the day that we went into lockdown, whatever it was, marked something. We were finishing up the last record, we were doing a bunch of songs in the in the studio and it was at that moment before, you know, it was kind of like pre-mask, but you were kind of not quite shaking hands and and doing a lot of like hand sanitizer, but we hadn't gone to the mass thing. And there was there was a glove period people going to the grocery store gloves on.

I did that. Right. We didn't have a mask on enough. We were at that. We were at that glove period because we had to take the gloves off to play. But you know, it was I haven't really done anything. The only thing I've done is I have gone back to work on this series that I'm doing on Showtime. And that's been really interesting because, you know, it's really, really weird to start

with because you get to work, your temperature is checked, you go through, you answer a bunch of questions. Everybody is in PPE, you're completely, you know, masked up and shields and all that. You do the quick nose test every time too? Yeah. We get tested probably, I mean, four or five times a week. For some reason, the testing has shifted a little bit where they're not jamming it all the way up to your, your, you know, brain, it's just kind of like a spin, a spin around

the lower nostril. And my wife said to me the other day, she said, the testers must love you because given the size of your nostrils, you're like a super easy target. I said, thank you so much, honey. That's really sweet of you to point out. And then at some point after we've rehearsed, we have to take our masks off because it's 1992 and we don't have masks on. And at that moment, that's when it feels just like it used to feel.

Because now I'm acting, I'm doing the thing that I know how to do. I'm talking to actors, the masks are gone and you know, the cameraman is shooting it and the boom operators there and everything is kind of like, at least for that moment feels like right in the way it's supposed to be. Is it weird to do like to go to be doing a show now, going back in time, during a time where you were already working in TV and film, do you do anything like it wasn't quite like that? Do they go to you to ask them, you know, hey, when you did these, I guess it's not about

shooting a show, but one of my pet peeves is when I watch something in a period is greetings. If I see one more high five in something before the high five existed, or more than this, you know, that greeting that came somewhere in the 90s. I'm with you. Yeah. It drives me up the wall. It's just like, plus I love the low five. I missed that.

Yeah, right. I was watching something on then I was like, the high five didn't exist then. No, that's that's really, that's true. I do the same thing. You know, I'm old enough that I don't really remember it. Sometimes I'll go, I'll see a, I'll see a high five or, or, or, you know, like a, you know, like a hug or something and I'll go, I don't think that was, but maybe I don't know.

I don't know. I'm really remember, you know, the other thing that's kind of about that. And you know, when I was listening to the other day, you were talking about drumming and, you know, learning the Zeppelin tune and stuff, which I thought was really fun to listen to. And there's a really great movie now called the sound of metal. I don't know if you have a chance to see it yet, but it's a, it's, I really would recommend it.

And it's about a, it's about a drummer in a, in a, in a, in a metal band and he loses his hearing and it's a, it's an incredibly well done and moving kind of moving the sound design is just, I've really recommended it. I have no connection to it. And my son looked at it. My son plays in, in, he's a guitar player in a, in a metal band. And when you look at something, a movie that is like specifically from your world, like if I would look at a movie, like you were mentioning before of somebody making a movie,

I'd go, yeah, that's not right. I'm like, you know, why isn't, you know, it doesn't happen that way. And I sort of feel the same way about music. And I'm sure you feel the same way when you look at things that involve drumming and drummers. And I was talking to my son about the movie, he was like, yeah, you know, I really, I really liked it. But why did he have that specific t-shirt, you know, and it was like, it was like something that only a metalhead of would, would, would notice, you know, it's like it was a band

that he didn't think that this guy would necessarily like that band on his t-shirt. But that's what happens when we watch movies about things that we know intimately. But that's what makes also something great is if somebody can pay attention to that level of detail. Like a long time ago, one of the first like major acting things I got is I got to do a couple episodes of Breaking Bad and they prided themselves on like, you know, the trolls that would be like, oh, it wouldn't happen that way. Like they literally, when we had a scene, it was a pallet of money and that we laid

down on one of those seasons and they actually broke down the denominations of cash that Mr. White would have and how big it would be. We did a train robbery thing and they did the math on the chemicals, they were taking out whatever the chemical was to make the math and then putting water in how much the density of it and there was some guy whose job was to sit there and shut down these trolls and be like, no, that's exactly how much it would have been just for the fun of it. That's great. So, yeah, I find that fascinating about movies and movies can also create something that

never happened or TV or they'll get like, say like with goodwill hunting like the amount of people waiting for them. I grew up just south of Boston and they'll be like, oh yeah, how do you like them apples? And I'm just like, nobody ever said that when I was growing up. That's the Matt Damon joke from Goodwill Hunting or that movie, Donnie Borosco, which ruined the expression, forget about it. It was so universal and they just so overly described it like to this day if I if I'd slips, because people tease me out of saying it, I'd be like, oh yeah, I wanted that steak

because, oh man, forget about it was unbelievable and then they go, forget about it. You feel like an asshole. Yeah. It ruins it forever. I know. I know. Listen, I know, I know exactly how you feel and I have to say that, you know, just speaking of Boston, you know, for some reason, for whatever reason, I have done a lot of movies

in Boston. Yeah. And, uh, uh, Mystic River, Patriots Day, Mystic River, Patriots Day, Mystic River, RIPD. And now this show that I'm doing on Showtime, my wife and I met in Boston during doing a thing for WBGBH. And the one thing I know for sure is that I've come to, I have a sense of peace about the fact that nobody from Boston is ever going to like my Boston accent and I'm completely fine with that.

I like, I get it. I get it. And what's really weird about it is that I'm from Philly and Philly has a, has a really specific accent, but nobody does it. It's hard. Well, it's not that it's hard, but Boston's hard to, I mean, it's not, it's that no, but for some reason, nobody in the mood, everybody goes to Philly and they talk like this. They're like, Hey, what are you doing?

Everyone from Philly. It is from Brooklyn somehow, miraculously. And I don't really understand why, why that is, but, but I've gotten a chance to do, you know, my own hometown accent, like, like maybe, maybe twice out of every single movie I've, uh, I've done. And people don't even really know that that's what I'm, I'm doing. It's like a very, it's a very specific thing that just, for some reason, we don't get a specific respect.

I remember I met this, this woman one time she was from Philly. She was a beautiful woman and was just hearing that Philly accent, like added to her beauty. And I remember she was talking to her beauty. Oh, I'm glad to hear that. Added to it. No. Cause you know, I was, I thought you were going to say the opposite. I thought it was a buzzkill because she was trashing somebody and she just, she said

something like, yeah, he's in the asshole. He kind of had that weird way. I'm probably doing it wrong. He's in the asshole. And just was like, what the hell was that? And then that it was just, just added like another layer to it. I think Nick Kroll though, he actually got props. I think he does a good Philly and Pittsburgh, um, um, accent, but like,

What does he do it in? Cause I want to check it out. Um, or does he do his part? He used to do, just going like YouTube, I'm sure the clip is on there. It's a KRLL was a sketch show, brilliant sketch show that he did on like, uh, like three seasons on comedy central. And they did it. They would do a sketch where it was him and one of the characters, a Pittsburgh guy yelling

at a Philly guy or something. Oh, okay. I'll check it out. I love Nick Kroll. Yes. He did like a good, I mean, be honest with you, it makes you feel better. People give me crap about my Boston accent if I lay into it a little bit more. Um, but, uh, anyway, before we get too far into this, I do want to get into what, uh,

you're promoting here. This sounds like an amazing show. So here's the promo thing I'm going to read here, forgive my reading out loud here. But if you listen to the podcast, you're ready for this here, uh, celebrating, uh, the power of music to make it change a prime time broadcast concert special benefiting the NAACP legal defense and educational fund incorporated and why hunger hosted by our podcast guests here today, Kevin Bacon and Eve. It's going to air on CBS on a new date and time, December 15th, eight o'clock Eastern,

seven central and exciting additions to the musical lineup include LL Cool J, DJ Z trip, Sarah Bareilles. Hope I said that right. Emily King, Pedrito Martinez, special guest Bruce Springsteen, John Legend and Ringo Starr. I think you got enough of a show there. Well, we also have a machine gun Kelly and Ziggy Marley and Andre Day and Bon Jovi and Marin Morris and Yola and the high women and Gary Clark Jr. And the list goes on and on.

It's, it's a, it's a really, it's a really amazing group of musicians. I like to say that if you like music, uh, we'll have something for you because we've got rock and folk and soul and rap and reggae and country. And, uh, I actually was thinking, well, but there's no jazz. But, um, the great John Batiste is doing a cover of People Get Ready, uh, from the Apollo at the end of the, at the end of the show. And he does a solo that I would definitely, uh, classify as jazz and he's got kind of New Orleans, uh, chops.

Um, we, we are, uh, decided to, to do it from three different iconic venues. So it's part of it was shot at the Apollo in New York and part of it was shot at the Tributor in LA and at the Bluebird Cafe in Nashville, which is a, uh, fantastic sort of singer-songwriter venue. Um, and, uh, really proud of the show, both for the messaging and for the, the money that we've raised for these fantastic organizations, but also for the musical side of it, because I know that, um, you know, you, you play and I'm sure that you've seen during, um, the pandemic, that people have done some sort of collections of

music from home and it's, it's, it's fun and was kind of charming at the beginning to see somebody just, you know, with acoustic guitar, kind of, you know, singing their songs from the living room, or there's been, uh, on the other extreme, these very big production numbers with no audience, which, uh, you know, can sometimes feel, I don't know, a little, a little strange. I think that we've really hit the sweet spot here for, uh, these, these musicians are together and they're playing live and they're having a great time and they're in these really super cool venues, but we're not trying to pretend that there's

people that are listening to them. That sounds amazing. That almost reminds me of, um, what was that documentary? It might get loud and they just had Zach White and the Edge and Jimmy Page. They were just sitting in a circle or like, uh, you ever watch on YouTube? Have you ever watched that live from Daryl's house, Daryl Hall? I've been on it. Oh, you've been on that?

Yeah. I was watching one from this morning. One of my, um, uh, I always forget his name from, uh, James gang and the Eagles was on it. Um, the guitar player there. Oh, Joe Walsh. Joe Walsh. Yeah.

Oh my God. They do this version of, uh, that would have, life's been good to me so far and just, it is just a sonic masterpiece. And, um, just being like, I always call myself, uh, uh, you know, a dad drummer is basically what I am. And there's just something about professional musicians, just listening to them tuning up is so much better than anything I've ever done and just how they all like lock in and, uh, the fact that you guys are going to all be at the venues.

I'm psyched that you're on here to promote this because this is something with, you know, just being on the road, I might have missed it and, uh, I've been able, luckily enough to perform at two of those two out of the three of those venues, um, survive the Apollo and, uh, I'm sure you did. I'm sure you did. Well, I remember I'm doing, doing the gig and this dude just sitting sideways like this the whole time, getting ready to get up my whole sex never left, but he never turned around.

But doesn't that, isn't, isn't that a great challenge that you just keep your eye on me and you go, what are you still in your seat? You're still in your seat, motherfucker. I haven't, I got another one you haven't left yet. Well, I remember standing in the alley behind there waiting to go on and it was taped. It was, it was the summertime. It was August to 2000.

So, you know, even though it was like the late afternoon, the sun was still out. And I remember hearing somebody getting booed and go, and go in like, you know, I really didn't need to do this. I'm a perfectly good white guy. He could have just stayed in the white guy clubs. Why am I doing this? And what was funny is I had met my future wife like two seconds before that, but I was so busy focusing.

I met Nia and her dad was booking it and he was leading up the stairs. I remember he had a look of concern on his face. He's probably reacting to the look on my face. So, and then of course the Troubadour, you know, I'm a huge music fan and all that. It's how have you been able to, with as busy as you are, like throughout the years? I've always been a mate. Like I've really envied your career as far as all the great work that you've done. You seem to stay out of trouble, you know, which is a hard thing to do now as a comic.

It seems you stay out of trouble and you're also able to do this music thing with your brother and get involved in these charities, you know, keep the home life together. Like you seem on paper, you're one of the most sane people in this business. Like, how are you able to do that? You know, I don't know. I mean, I feel like I really, really love what I do. And I've worked really hard to be able to keep doing it through the years, you know,

because it's something that I just get, I still get a tremendous amount of pleasure out of, you know, the time between action and cut is like such a sweet spot for me and every time, I don't care what, you know, what kind of piece of shit I'm doing, I still really enjoy, you know, pretending to be another person. In terms of my own personal life, I think I met the right person. People say, you know, why, how do you stay married for so long? And it's a really hard question to ask on the last record, we had a song called play and that I wrote about as sort of as a kind of a wise-ass response to that

because everyone says, oh boy, it's so much work, isn't it? You got to really work at it, you know, be to have a successful marriage has got to be a while out of work. And I said, no, really, to me, it's really about playing, you know, you got to have the play, that's got to be the part of it, you know, where you're still labeled and that's what's what I feel with with with Kira. And I don't know, man, you know, I try to wake up every day with a lot of gratitude for having a roof, having food, having love in my life.

A lot of things that a lot of people certainly during this time, difficult time don't have and also for being able to make a living doing what I really, really love to do. Yeah, that's that's that's incredible. I've already been out here, you know, I started late in the game as far as getting married and having kids and all that type of stuff. And it's made the road is a different. It's a really different thing when you have something that you're leaving,

that you actually want to be still a part of. So thank God for like zoom and all of that type of stuff. And like I don't zoom, I mean, like FaceTime and that thing, because I've been able to be out here for as long as I have right now, like eight days, which is something I usually wouldn't do. I just kind of needed to, like I said, I got bills to pay here. So but just being able to FaceTime with my kids and to also see, because I remember early on in my career, when I should have been, I guess, getting

married, if I wasn't such a lunatic and having kids, I remember my friends telling me like, man, I went on the road for the week and I came back and like my daughter's face changed. And all of a sudden, you know, she's starting to walk and I missed that. So the fact that I get videos and things like that have been. It's huge. It's huge. When, when, when FaceTime first came out, we used to say, God bless Steve jobs.

That was like all, all, that was like our mantra, God bless Steve jobs, because we're, you know, we're a couple that, um, and a family really, that even though we on the surface look like, you know, well, they have, you know, we're sort of home, home bodies. We're really vagabonds at our core. We are, our marriage has been really based on two suitcases being packed and ready to go. And, and that's been a plus and the, and the minus.

I mean, because clearly, you know, you're going to be forced to spend some time apart, but it actually has been part of what's kept us together is the fact that, you know, we like to be with each other. We like to be home, but we're always kind of ready to go, okay, I'm going off to work, you're going off to work. And for a long time, it made things really complicated when it came to bringing the kids back and forth and stuff like that. But to be able to reconnect with somebody, you know, once a day or whatever is

really great. And if you could do it on FaceTime, um, even, even better. And, um, this time has been really strange because, you know, when, when the pandemic, you know, rolled into town, I immediately flew to LA where she was. And we went into lockdown together and went through, I don't know, probably four months or five months or whatever. It was just like the two of us in the same house. And that's something that's never happened in our marriage ever.

After 32 years, we've been married. We've never spent that much time together ever. And, you know, we don't have a big house out there, but luckily we have, like she could go into the bedroom and I could go into the living room or something. So like in the course of the day, we would serve like kind of separate, then we'd get together and we'd have lunch and then we'd separate for a while. Then we get back together and we had dinner. Um, a lot of people didn't have that kind of luxury, but we, it was a, it was

an adjustment to actually be spending that much time together and one that we survived luckily. And now I'm on a show in New York. She's not a show in LA. So she went out to LA. Now we've been separated for the longest period that we've ever been separated in our marriage. So these are two sort of like milestones.

I've never been apart from her for, um, for this long. And, uh, you know, we're getting through that as best we can. So it's, um, you know, it's, it's interesting that you're, you're, uh, you know, just kind of coming to that now. And, um, Oh dude, I have, I have a zillion dad questions for you. How did your son find music? Because I love playing, but I don't want to force it on him.

But you know, it's like, you want to be like, come on, man, you play guitar, play drums, I can jam with my own kid would be the greatest thing ever. Um, and she goes kind of through periods of liking drums and playing guitar. And, but she's really, she has a toy guitar. She's really getting into it. So I'm trying not to be that. How old is she? Uh, she'll be four in January.

Well, I don't know if this is too hippie-dippy, but I used to play a lot to, um, to her belly when, when she was pregnant. Um, he came out and one of his first words, or if not his first word was guitar. And he wanted me to make him, uh, his little cut out guitars all the time. Like, and I would draw pictures of them and then, then you want me to cut them out and then they would pick the, the, uh, the paper would bend and he'd get upset. So then I would have to take cardboard and make it stiffer and glue it against the thing and then eventually he'd break that and he'd cry and then I'd have to

make him another guitar. And I was, you know, I was like constantly making guitars until I could finally get a toy, a toy one. And he was really, really like, um, obsessed with, he was not into, not into the sports, not into, uh, any, anything, you know, with a ball so much. And then he found, uh, swords and like most boys, and then he found guns and then he found video games and they got, you know, more and more, you know, increasingly more violent than, you know, this is a kind of a real, right, right.

Yeah. Well, they weren't the, so we're talking about, he's, he's 32 now. So we're talking about, uh, it was, it was an earlier kind of iterate. It weren't as real as they are now when he was about probably I'd say 10, he stopped playing the video game and he picked up the guitar and I took that video game and put it up in the closet and he's, he's never played again. He's, he's, that's, he just has been doing music ever, ever since then. So I can't say that I forced it on him.

I mean, yeah, I got him lessons. I got him gear. If he wanted a look, I mean, if somebody, if somebody wants an instrument, I say, get them the instrument. Get them the instrument. People don't get hurt making music. You know, people, um, making music is a, is a, is a, is a strong and peaceful and powerful thing to, to do.

You can, you can bang the shit out of your, your drums. And, you know, the only thing you, you're, you risk, risk of hurting is your ears. And, you know, I guess when you get to be real old, you can get some, you know, tendonitis or whatever. Yeah, I gotta look at that. Yeah, this one. Yeah. Yeah, but, but, you know, it's, it's a, it's a beautiful thing to make music.

And, um, we always had, uh, you know, we always had gear around, always guitars around, always, always, um, drums around. I mean, there's always percussion around here right now. And, and, uh, um, it was just, uh, there was access to it. And, and something really cool on your website for your charity, sixdegrees.org where you kind of use where you are in the world to shine a light on these charities that people just needed some attention to. And they're all great causes.

And the one that, that really appealed to me, there was something about helping schools get instruments for their students. And, uh, I went to, I went to public school and we got instruments, like in Philadelphia, the Philadelphia public school system back in the, in the, uh, 50s and 60s. If, if you wanted to play something, they just gave you, they gave you, you know, the trumpet or the flute or the violin or, you know, whatever it was. And along with lessons and stuff. And that just, I don't think that really exists anymore.

And I think that, why do you think that is? Because I live out in Los Angeles and it's like, like the public school systems, it's like not even an option. You got all of these people there, you know, paying taxes and all of this type of stuff. Like ridiculous level taxes. And, you know, when you go to the public schools, I don't, is it because, do you think, I was trying to come up with a theory, like, I just think like raising a kid's a lot more expensive where, you know,

get your kid ready for school for the school year. You bought him a new pair of sneakers, a couple pairs of pants, some shirts, and then some crayons, pen and pencil, and they were good to go. You didn't have to get them like a cell phone and laptops. Right. I mean, a laptop is like, I mean, essentially, it's like you're buying your kid like a new used car. Yeah.

Every year or two. Yeah, that's a good point. Rich kid. Yeah, I never thought of that. I think it was also that there was more, I don't know, more funding for, you know, that in the public school system. It just seems like, you know, if you're going to cut something, people feel that music and instruments and music in general

is something that is on the chopping block pretty quickly. Yeah, they feel like it's a silly thing. Like it's like, I think they almost put it up there. They put it somewhere like in like gym class, as far as level of importance, which is, I don't know, that's strange to me. But people listening, if you want like, Kevin has this amazing charity, sixdegrees.org, right? I'm saying that, right?

Yep. And what I like about it is you're not just funneled into this one thing. You had like this wide variety of like whatever you're into, you know, pediatric cancer all the way to getting instruments for kids. So there's kind of like something there for everybody. But I don't know, another question, another dad question. I got a few of these because, you know. Yeah, yeah, man.

I, so did you go through like, I don't know if this happened to you, but like I find I try to avoid talking about being a parent with most parents because they seem to want to focus gloom and doom on like whatever you'd like. Whatever your kid is, they feel like if their kid's a little bit older, like nothing good is going to happen. And it's always like, oh, you wait. And it's kind of like, well, each kid is different. Just because you're dealing with that doesn't mean that I'm going to deal with it.

And how do I know you're even involved? They'll be like, how old you kid turning four? Oh, you wait, you wait. The next year is going to be, blah, blah, blah. And you wait until they become teenagers. I would think that there's at some point they're going to act out. And that's like my biggest, I just don't want to go through or try to minimize. I know at some point they got to like test boundaries and, you know,

break free a year and everything. I just don't want to go through this period where my kid doesn't feel that they can come to me and be like, all right, look, last night I was at a party and X, Y, and Z was going down. Maybe I did this or I was thinking about doing that and feeling that they can come to me. And it's not going to be this, that's it. You're never seeing your friends again and all of that type of stuff. How are you able to navigate those years where all of a sudden it's like, okay, I'm going out with my friends and you're really what you're,

it's not even you're worried about your kid. You're at the mercy of how did these people raise those kids? Yeah. Are now driving my kid down the street. Yeah, that's a good point. I guess I haven't really thought all about that that much. But yeah, that's true. You do think about that, the other people.

Well, listen, I totally agree with you that it can be a real street, bad street to walk down to even raise this topic with people. And people do want to tell you a lot of gloom and doom. And that's when, you know, something's like, oh, it's the terrible twos. That's going to be, it's like, oh, great. So the entire year that this kid is two years old, this is going to be a fucking nightmare for me. You know, and that's not true.

I mean, it starts with the birth. I mean, if you start talking to people about what childbirth is going to be like, just don't even do it. Because it's going to, you're just going to be like, oh, fuck it. I'm out. This is going to be a disaster. I remember when my kid was cool and wasn't terrible when she was two. Yeah.

You know what? Then they said, they said, oh, that means your next one's going to be a lunatic. This one's cool. The next one's going to be a lunatic. My son is six months old and he's the best. He smiles with his whole face and he's just in a good mood and loves his older sister and she loves him and everything. So you just can't fall into that trap.

And this is what I tell people. Whatever it is, you might even sort of know this already. When you're in some situation, like let's say it's the diaper thing or the toilet training thing or whatever, you're like, oh my God, this is a fucking nightmare. And it feels like it's going to last forever. A lot of these phases feel like they're going to last forever. Whatever it happens to be right up through whatever partying or bad grades or whatever stuff that you're talking about down the line with the teenagers.

It passes. It's a cliche, but this too shall pass. These phases, if you can have some kind of a trust that there's something on the other side of it, that's number one. That's the thing that I try to try to share with people rather than try to give them a warning that the shit's going to get bad. But the other thing is that the best, your kids are going to have to have secrets from you eventually.

They are. If they don't have some secrets from you, then they're not growing up. I mean, I didn't tell my parents everything. I don't want my parents to be my best friend and I don't want to be my children's best friend. If they have a friend that they can tell their secrets to, then that's great. But we've tried as best we can. This is really this, I feel like we're getting a little too deep, but this has been driven home by my wife, really.

She's been leading the charge on this particular thing. That is to try as best as possible to keep the lines of communication open and to be open-hearted and honest and put them in a situation where if they share something with you, it doesn't mean that they're going to get punished for it because then you can just kind of work your way through these things that are going to come up. There's going to be hurt. There's going to be sadness. Somebody's going to get drunk or high at some point, I guess.

I think we also have been pretty open with sharing our own personal experiences about the struggles that we've had growing up and the things that we went up to a point. Up to a point, I don't think we've shared everything with them. We've got to have your secrets, too. Yeah, we've got to have our secrets, too. But it's going to be okay. All right. So you grew up during an amazing time, I feel.

Like I feel like you were born 10 years before me and just the bands that you got to see growing up and considering that you are a musician, were you a big, I know concerts are expensive for kids, but did you get to go see a lot of those amazing bands when you were coming up? Okay. So I had this crazy thing happen where, as you know, I grew up in Philadelphia and a kid moved in around the corner from me when I was six years old named Harry Spivak. And we became friends. I met him on the street and he was new to the neighborhood and we became friends.

Turns out his dad, they owned restaurants and clubs in Philly. And they owned a venue called the Electric Factory, which was a, in those days, they called it a disco tech, but it was a no alcohol music venue. And we're talking about probably 19, I don't know, I was born at 58. So probably 1966 or something like that, 67. We started to go to shows there and as little kids. So I saw Janice with Big Brother and the Holding Company. What?

I saw Delaney and Bonnie. I mean, we would go up to the light tower and they were putting colored dye onto a little slide and doing the psychedelic kind of projection onto the stage. So as a little kid, I actually, you know, experienced that whole 60s thing, even though I was born at 58, I was really young to be seeing it. And then that club eventually shut down. The mayor of Philadelphia tried to shut it down because he thought it was a dent of iniquity and, you know, drugs and all that.

It's got a name Frank Rizzo, but they were able to stay open and then they closed and then they started electric factory concerts, which was at the Spectrum at Philly. And then we started going to all the, you know, that's when they stadium Brock happened. And, you know, you don't want to know. I mean, I saw, I saw Zeppelin, I saw the stones. I saw, you know, stones like multiple times. I mean, I can't even remember, you know, what tour did you see Zeppelin on? What year?

I guess it would be, gosh, I don't know. Well, you would know what the actual tour, but I'm guessing it's somewhere around 72. 73, like early seven, some early seventies tour. Oh, Zeppelin four, something like that. Oh my God. What, what, what is, did he have the, the Vista like kit? The orange, I don't remember. His kid, Bill, I'm sorry.

I know, I know. You know what's funny? I can barely remember the concerts that I went to with anybody. But that's hilarious. That's hilarious. Oh, what, what kind of kit was he playing on? It was just here. When you were 11, did you take the time?

Did you do one little podcast? That's amazing. Well, we do a segment on this podcast, believe it or not, people write in and they ask me for advice and stuff. So I was wondering just to switch it up here. If you, if you, I'll read these questions and maybe, you know, you can weigh in, we can get some advice from a incredibly successful man with a big heart helping people out here starting his, I'll do my best.

Okay. That's all we, that's all we do on here. There's no pressure. You can always pass. All right. Musicals says, Dear Billy Boo Brain, whatever the hell that means. Nice. I had a dream, I had a dream last night that you were announced to be in a remake of the

Wizard of Oz. Because it was a dream, I was not able to read the article clearly, but I was incessantly trying to figure out who you were cast as despite this project not being on anyone's agenda. I really need to know who, who you would play. My initial reaction is to Scarecrow for obvious reasons. Scarecrow didn't have a brain. Is that it? I always get confused about that.

I think the Scarecrow didn't have a brain, right? The 10 man needed a heart and the line needed courage and Dorothy had to get home. All right. But I also like, I also think you could be a killer 10 man because your joints are all tight from that eighties lifting regiment. This is really not, really not advice. You're just kind of shitting on me. So you could probably nail as a representative of the lollipop guild with your cracked smile

grin and little kicking legs. This is the internet. You know, I'm sure you're familiar with this. There's, there's never any comp. There's no compliments on the internet. I need some answers on this so I can get on with my life. Well, you know what, you can trash me. Who do you say?

I think I'd be one of those little, little pussians, whatever you call them. You know what, you know what I see you as, Bill? And don't take this the wrong way. I see you as one of the flying monkeys. You know what I like about that is you're still the producer. You're also going like, what kind of box office is this guy going to bring in? If he's one of the leads, just give him a flying monkey thing. We'll see how he does.

How come I can't be the little wizard behind the curtain? I think you can be the little wizard behind the curtain. I think, I don't know. I, I, I see some advice because I know that you, for a while, you got typecast off your early movies. So then you had to play against type. So I keep playing cops and, uh, uh, Boston guys. Yeah.

What, what is, what is my against type move here? I keep playing cops and Boston guys. You know, I listen, I, um, in fact, uh, I'll tell you a funny story, just an aside. I, I checked into, uh, to start the pilot on, on sitting on a hill, which is the, the one I'm doing now for showtime. This is, you know, a year or two ago and, uh, I'm staying right on the common and, uh, I get to the hotel and I, I leave the, the, my car with the, with the, the, you know, the valet and I take my dog, my dog was with me.

So I take my dog into the common ticket, take a leak. And this guy's sitting in the car and he goes, Hey, how come you get to play all the Boston cops? And I like totally out of the blue. And I was like, what, what? And he just, he just repeated that again. And it was just such a funny, it was such a funny Boston thing also that he was kind of like wise ass and sort of, you know, busting my, it was, it was kind of aggressively kind of like busting my balls, but in a, in a sort of funny, like kind of cool way.

And I was like, I really don't know. And clearly I think he was an actor. I mean, I think he was an actor. I think he probably had put together that here I was rolling into town. Once again, you know, staying at the fucking four seasons and, and, uh, probably square and taking, yeah. And taking, and, and taking one of his roles. Yeah.

I get people back to like, dude, how come you're doing all this shit? I'm funny than you are. It's funny. What's that funny when we were in math class and just get all psych? Hey, I mean, there's open mics, man. You can go do them. But by the way, I got to give you props on the Boston accent. How can you get to play all the Boston cops?

You've got that awesome down. Everybody thinks because of the joke, the pock, the con, the hobbit. Yeah. That the whole thing is that awesome. They don't understand that that's just with, you know, an AR sort of at the end of a word. And they missed that Boston, because I'll say, where are you from? I'll say Boston. And they go, Oh, Boston.

And I'm like, did I say it like that? It's B, A, W, like bar, like saw that that is my life's work is to just get people to at least say that the name of the city, uh, correctly. So as formula, I mean, I haven't lived there since 95, but that sounded pretty damn good to me. So I don't have a problem with you playing all the Boston cops. You cock sucker. All right.

Okay. So that's one line. I've, I've, I've scored with one line. Good. Oh, you got it. It was good. It was good. That's something to build on.

All right. Underrated music parts. Dear Billy Crescendo. I love discovering parts to a song that are usually overshadowed by more famous parts, i.e. the drum part in Sultans of Swing. It's very underrated. Oh, that was nice. This is obscure.

This is a very obscure music question. I like this. Yeah. Okay. Good. The legendary Mach-na-pla guitar solo certainly steals the show. I'll just do a Boston accent for the rest of it. You have it down.

But the drum part is such a solid groove. I was wondering if there were any parts that made you feel the same way. Another one for me is the piano parts, Pink Floyd's Us and Them. The addition is usually on the awesome female vocal part where she's wailing at the end. May the force be with you in order to go fuck yourself. Love the podcast and happy holidays. Yeah, there's a, I mean, of course I'm going to go blank, but for some reason, I think because we were talking Boston,

and there's a part, there's a drum, Aerosmith, Joey Kramer on Get Your Wings. There's a song, I forget the name of it, but it's like this last song on the first side. She's a woman of the world, the God she knows it. Well, there's a breakdown in the middle when the band kind of drops out, and it's just Joey Kramer just laying down this simple groove, but it just sounds so fucking good that I used to, I used to like wear out the record, just trying to figure out, because you know that stuff when you first start playing, you're like, physically I can play this, but I can't make it sound that good.

It's like this magical thing. So I would say something like that. What about you? Oh wow, that's such a, I mean, I find that to be a really interesting question. She's not talking about just drums because she mentions another instrument. At one point, but it's kind of like the piano, they think she said. Yeah, piano thing, yeah. It's kind of like that thing of, well, I guess it's kind of like where you go,

what really made this a hit, and is there some kind of unsung hero? And God, there's always these unsung heroes in music, right? I mean, but you know, one thing that just popped into my head was that Mike Campbell lick in that Tom Petty song. What song is it? All I hear is the lick now. Breakdown? Breakdown, I guess it's Breakdown, yeah.

And it's like nobody, I love Mike Campbell on it. I think his, you know, you don't go like, people would never really talk about him in the top, top, top sort of like, you know, Jimmy Page's kind of echelon of guitar players. But maybe Tom wrote that lick, I don't know. But I always look at that like to me, like without, I love that song Breakdown, but like that lick is a really, really important part of it. And it's a really simple thing, right? It's like super, super simple.

So that's one that just popped into my head. Thank you. Thank you, Alyssa, from, I don't know why. I have that, you know, I'm a big fan of bands that never sounded the same when the drummer left. I think that's such a statement of the drummer. And I think I still love Tom Petty throughout his whole career and Steve Ferroni and everything. But when Stan Lynch was in the band, it was a different sounding band. Guns N' Roses is the same thing too.

You know, I love Matt Sorum. But like when Steve and Adler was in it, it was just a different, he had just such a unique feel. I never felt like a guy, he had this punk sort of background when he was pushing the band while being laid back and swinging at the same time. It was the weirdest, coolest feel I've ever heard from a drummer, at least during that period. All right, so now we got dumb questions for employees. So a lot of people work with the general public and they get asked stupid questions. I don't know if you ever had one of those.

Oh, you were a waiter, right? I was a waiter. Yeah, I was a waiter and a busboy. Yeah, so I'm sure you got plenty of dumb questions. So this is, I guess, the immigrant addition. So, hey, Billy Nomates. I actually know what that means because I knew this English chick. And she told me that's an expression.

If you're alone in a pub, they say, hey, look at Billy Nomates. You don't have any friends or whatever. You know why that was? Because when I was on the road, I used to go to baseball games by myself. So I had all these pictures of me in front of these baseball stages where I was by myself and a stranger's holding the camera. So she goes, you should do a coffee table book called Billy Nomates. And it's just a picture in front of all of these stadiums.

It's actually a decent idea. All right, hey, Billy Nomates. I'm an immigrant from England. Manchester specifically now living in the Midwest. I love the feature of people writing in with their dumb questions. They get at their jobs. My stuff is pretty run in the mill, but I remember I've been, I remembered being asked some pretty fucking stupid questions since moving here.

So here goes. All right, so this is some English guy, I guess, who came here. So do you guys celebrate 4th of July? What do you do? We go to work like any other weekday. All right, this might not be something that you can participate in. I realize that I'm new to this interviewing thing. You go great.

OK, thank you. How often do you get back to London? Never. I'm from Manchester. Well, how the hell would they know that? This guy's a cunt. All right, you guys only drink. You guys only drink.

Which is an interesting word to use, because that's a very different meaning in England than it does in the states, as you know. Oh, it is an art form over there. I like that better than going to go see Big Ben or something. Is hearing people in Great Britain, Ireland saying cunt is one of my favorite things. The Scottish were the best.

The complimentary cunt is the greatest. Like, oh, he's a great cunt. I'm like, I want to meet this guy. I got to meet this great cunt. You know, there's actually what I found out was that, well, first of all, I hate, I can't stay in my name. And I found out that that's, it's often used as an insult in proximity.

Really? You know, he's a fucking Kevin. Which kind of means, I don't know, just sort of jerk. Yeah, that's like the Karen over there or something like that. Yeah, right, exactly. I was thrilled to hear that. All right, well, we're going to wrap up here. I appreciate it.

I can't believe he came on. Before we wrap up, I just want to tell you one thing. And that is that I was listening to you, I guess it was last Monday or whatever. And you went off about your car, your dream car thing, switching from, I think, what was it, originally a fair lane or something? I'm a truck guy.

And then for a while I was obsessed with 67 Cadillac Eldorados. And for whatever reason. 67 Eldorado, right. Yeah. And now you've moved into the Bronco. Well, COVID has, sometimes there's been weird impulses that have happened.

And during this virus, I bought a 69 Bronco. No, you didn't. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Was it all original? Had it been redone? Yeah, it's all original. I mean, I put, not me.

Because I had nothing about working on cars. But I did put in disc brakes, just for safety. You got it, you got it. Because people cut out in front of you, like you don't have drum brakes. And that's what I did on, a buddy of mine helped me do that on, just on the front. I still got the shoes in the back.

But it's got no roof. It's got no windows. It's got no doors. It's got a front window, obviously. It shifts on the column? Or is it automatic? The column. And to tell you the truth, I know how to drive a stick shift.

I mean, I have since I was young. But I don't think I'd ever driven three on a tree. So I'm on fucking YouTube. How do you drive three on the tree? And I literally learned it on YouTube. I bought my truck out of Atlanta. Street side customs, a little shout out to them. And they sent me this 68 Ford F100.

Oh, that's what you have a 68 F100? Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. No, I thought you were talking about an 82 Bronco you wanted. Oh, I like that too. Like if I had, like, if I had my dream garage, it would look like the opening scene in No Country for Old Men

when all those dead dudes are in it. Because those are all Fords. I love, I'm not really into 78, 79 Fords, but I like everything else. But do you still have the other one? Yeah, I do. Oh, wow. So it was three on the tree.

And how I figured it out was I just slowly let out the clutch. And it didn't stall. So I'm like, all right, that's first. And then straight up, I figured out I learned was reverse because I'm thinking, I'm going to go back. I'm like, all right, that's first. And then I just sort of worked. I was on, you know, I didn't don't live on a busy street.

And I sort of figured it out. I was like, all right, so this is just like an eight. So it's reverse, first, second, third. And I've really kept it. I just updated a few things like those trucks ran a little hot. And so I got an aluminum radiator. We put that in. And then also the intake manifold weighed like as much as a battleship.

So when I had the engine rebuilt, they said, you know, they make an aftermarket thing out here that's more made out of a lighter metal. I forget what it was, but it's just as fine. You know, you know, just as good that's all. It's not fuel injected, though, is it? No, no, no, this thing ran on regular gas. And the problem was, was I was trying to learn how to do that treatment. And, you know, you have to dump the stuff in.

And I didn't know to do that. So I burned out a little bit of it. So that's when it got, it had to get like rebuilt. So I've only done a few things. I think we, we changed a little bit of the gearing and the differential or whatever. Just to give me a little bit of help, because with three gears, I would take that thing on the highway. If I had to go somewhere, if I was driving at that day,

I'd have to stay in the slow lane, but it was just really starting. I felt, I felt like I was redlining it at like 50 miles an hour. So it just gave me a little more, if I can go like 60, 65, but I really realized as much as I like watching people go fast, I like cruising around. That's why I like a caddy. I like a pickup truck and stuff like that. Although I've become the same thing.

You know, I don't, I, you know, I'm up in Northwestern, Connecticut here. And I'm never going to take the, take, I'm never going to take the Bronco on the highway. I've never taken it over. I've, I'm barely hitting 50. And my daughter said to me, so basically you got this so that you could drive like three miles down the road and, you know, buy some apples and then turn around and come home. I was like, yeah, it really is. I think that's all I,

How enjoyable is it too? It's, it's great. That's what I miss about being in LA. There's not like a country road that, you know, I look at that truck is like, that thing should be on like a country road. And I did some gigs in Connecticut and we were staying at a house more like Southwest, Connecticut. I was trying to be between, you know, Boston and New York.

And I mean, it's God's country out there. After you live out here in the desert, it's on fire now for like three months out of the year, it seems. I was thinking like, like this is the place to have a classic car. This is a place where you, you know, you could have like a motorcycle where you could be on a back road and not feel like every five seconds, somebody texting is going to like end your life. So that's, man, I'm really, are you wanting done with the old cars or just starting? No, I used to have a, I used to have a 61 Austin Healy bug-eye Sprite.

So it's kind of like the two extremes. Yeah, I don't know that one. It's a, it's like a little, they're, they're, they're cute. They're like, it's like kind of like a Triumph or an MG, like a tiny, tiny little British racing car. It's got these crazy bug-eye headlights. But I sold that. That was a car that you really needed to know how to work on cars because it basically,

I'd take it out once and then it wouldn't start. And so it was like constantly in the shop. And I was like, I don't, I'm not the guy that knows how to do that. But, but yeah, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not going to be a collector. It's, it's, I, I like this thing. It's, you know, it's, I'm, I'm, I've just, I just took it out and turned it over just because I need to, but I don't think I'm going to drive it again this winter because it's really cold. I mean, it's got no doors.

And I put Tonka trucks and I think that that's where I just never grew out of that. And my dream as a kid was I wanted to have a big four-wheel drive truck with those, those, the lights up on top of the roof. All right. When I was a kid and I saw somebody driving down the street at dusk and all they had on was just the, well, not the head, what do you call it, the fog lights. Right. I just thought that that was the coolest thing.

I wanted a job where I would have an excuse to drive that truck. By the way, those early eighties Broncos that you're like buying, those are incredibly expensive cars now. I mean, they, some of those have been outfitted. They're like over $200,000. Oh, that's if they do like that. Yeah, they do. I don't get that.

I don't, I don't get having a $200,000 car. It's like, where am I going to go with this? I'll be afraid to take it anywhere. And there's somebody like some piece of shit. I don't get it. I don't get it either, but they are very, they are, they're, they're hot now because, you know, Ford's coming out with a new Bronco.

And I think that's kind of makes people into the old, but I like the full size one. So in the years that I like, I like 80 to 86 and those things for whatever didn't catch on, but that's just when I was a kid, there was somebody in my, my high school had a, had a green Ford F 250 four wheel drive. I don't know what year it was, but I remember they had gone off road and came to school to look cool. And the whole thing was covered in mud, except the windshield where the wipers were. And when I was a kid, I was like, that's the coolest fucking thing I've ever seen.

I got to get one of those one of those days, but of course I didn't. I had the little, the little two wheel drive Ford Ranger with the little AM FM radio was sort of an omen for my, my high school experience. So anyways, but I am real, I'm so glad you came on this podcast. I'm such a huge fan. Back at you, man. I love, I love your shit. I really do. You're, you're really, you're really funny and you're really smart and I really enjoy it. Oh, thank you so much. And so December 15th. What is the name of the thing?

A prime time broadcast. Play on. What's it called? Play on. Play on. Okay. It's going to be on CBS eight o'clock Eastern seven central with the great Kevin Bacon. Kevin, thank you so much. Continued success and enjoy that Bronco. Okay. Thanks, Bill.

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But you're blowing the line When you're making a scene Oh girl, you've got to know What my head over looks The sense it puts show to my heart When it's watching full eyes But you can't escape my eyes Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr

and it's the Monday Morning Podcast For Monday, December 10th, 2012 How's it going? For those of you who follow me on Twitter You guys know that I have a special guest this week We're going to get right to it Because he's already bugging me with this giant shirt We have the one and only Michael Rappaport

from every film you've ever fucking watched Nice to have you on here You're reinventing the podcast Because you said podcast Your accent P-A-W-D Cast And I'm talking shit about accents

That's the Boston podcast That's the Boston accent I know I got it You actually pick up on that That we say P-A-W We say Boston, B-A-W Boston When I say I grew up outside of Boston

And then they go, oh, Boston? It's like, no dude, Boston Saw with B No, I got you I know I'm not one to talk about accents But I like the Boston accent Because it's more fucked up than the New York accent That's why I like it

It all depends It is like apples and oranges But I like the Boston accent And I like the Chicago accent There shit is way out there And that's one that I can't even duplicate I haven't been out to the Midwest enough Like in Chicago to even try and do a bad

It sounds like everybody's doing an SNL character The Chicago accent is just I love it I just like working class accents Boston, New York What I think about you is you've lived out here forever And you never lost your accent You must have had the voice coaches

And all that saying like Michael, if you want to work more in this industry Yeah, they warned me But you know, all the actors that I really admire They never truly lose their accent So I was like, if they don't have to do it And I'm of course as good as them And I'm of course referring to the De Niro's and Pacino's

Because when you mention De Niro, Pacino Rapaport It's like De Niro, Pacino Rapaport, Brando, Rapaport And that's fine You don't get upset? No, I don't get upset But you know, I lost it a little bit here and there

You could tone it down But when you go back Because when I go back to Boston And I run into some people who really have it Hardcore I burst out laughing going Especially when it's a beautiful girl Back in Massachusetts

And that heinous accent They'll say stuff like that and it's coming out of their mouth Like there's something they have brain damage And there is those times where I'm just like Wow, I used to And I never thought I had it that bad I have some old stand-up tapes that I will never show anybody Oh, where you could really hear it?

Oh, dude, I'm brutal Brutal I would win an Oscar if it was for a Boston accent How bad it was And I still have it pretty bad Yours is good, but when we were working in Boston Yours, because we were playing Of course, my Boston accent

It's pretty You just sound east coast I was the black sheep of the family So I was like, he must have left Boston But yours was hard I was like, because it was you And there was other bosses They really got that shit down

People were really in their native tone Yeah, no, no, I didn't get anything down I was from there I don't do any work, but just to let people know We did a movie this summer called The Heat And the director of Bridesmaid Paul Feig

It's comedy R-rated comedy Bill's really funny in it Curses a lot Everybody curses a lot We're a dysfunctional family And we all play brothers Of course, when I tweeted out

That you were going to be on the podcast here And I was just saying If you have any questions, let me know And I knew it was going to be a bunch of The redhead The sun cancer twins They weren't even that good They send them to me

And they think they're so fucking clever And it was basically 70 of the exact same joke But there was a couple I should actually read the funny one What were some of the highlights? You want to hear some of these? Sometimes I set myself up on Twitter To see if I'm going to get some good stuff

And people make me laugh, even if they're insulting me I'll see if I can By the way, I don't respond back I might just retweet Because my kids, I got kids What good does it do? When I first got on Twitter I would get into arguments with people

You're making that day? Oh my god, the guy from True Romance I'm actually interacting with him He told me to fuck off Fuck your mother This may be a good one Why did Stupid Fox cancel his show The War at Home? That's a nice one

They were a fan Politics, man Politics and show business Just like politics and politics Let's see what we got here Everything good? Do you think you were separated at birth? That's funny

We're going to discuss Sunblock I thought you and him were the same guy There's another one Ask Rappaport if he realizes he's white Yeah, I love that Just because you're from Brooklyn Yeah Where are we?

I'm not going to waste time Blowing through this stuff What was I going to ask you? I was going to get into this thing The whole way this whole podcast You being on the podcast came about Wasn't just that we were working together Was that we both have dogs

Right The big thing is curb your dog If you have a dog, like in New York City I think they were the first ones The Pooper Scooper Where I was from Basically to get the dog shit off Right

When I was a kid, if your dog took a shit It just took a shit It was just outside So now you're supposed to pick up after it I never owned a dog in New York But I own one out here I always pick up after her You had this interesting duality

As far as when and where you pick up after your dog Here's the deal I grew up, I never had dogs So when I got my first dog I lived in Los Angeles You got the dog a license Pick up after the dog And I was good

And I would carry the shit bags And I would pick up the shit And then I had two dogs You have to bring three or four shit bags Per trip But The thing is Then I moved back to New York

With my two dogs What kind of dogs? Muts But this is where the conversation Between me and Bill about dog shit And shit bags got interesting Because I said I don't use shit bags anymore Now I'm back living in Los Angeles

And Bill There was just a sense of judgment You don't use shit bags In LA I don't use shit bags Here's the deal In New York I use shit bags Why in New York? No

No prejudice I would pick up the shit And then be able to walk to the corner And drop the shit bag In the garbage pail In Los Angeles In New York there's garbage cans On every corner

There's garbage cans Sometimes they're filled all the way to the top And the garbage is spilling out But at least it's the place to get rid of the shit bag In Los Angeles For those who are not familiar with Los Angeles There are not garbage cans on every corner So

Therefore when you are walking your dog And two dogs when I made up my own rule About this You pick up the dog crap I don't want to keep saying shit You pick up the dog crap in the shit bag And then you carry it And you could be walking 3, 4, 5, 6

Blocks Now I'm carrying In Los Angeles Medium sized dogs 50-60 pound dogs With two Shit bags By my side

It's not like you could take the shit bag And put it in your pocket And then dump it out like a candy wrapper That's not cool to be Have to walk around with two shit bags It's not the picking up It's the carrying of the shit Now I could change my rule

And then someone else has to deal with it But a person But just to play devil's advocate Play it You got the two fucking dogs You live in a nice upstanding neighborhood You're considered a good citizen Of this city

Not by anyone who knows me I appreciate that Do your neighbors like see Like your dogs take shit and you just walk away Let me ask you this So when you're in LA There's a basket over there I will pick this lump of shit out

I do not buy shit bags anymore Zero tolerance I don't fuck with shit bags anymore And the reason why I don't fuck with shit bags anymore Is because I'm not walking around with bags of shit For block and block and block and block It's just not cool It's degrading

How is it degrading? To walk with a steaming hot bag Of shit for You don't hold it from underneath I got two I have one dog She was old But

Even now I have a big dog Dog takes big Shits And in the bag I can't walk Text That's good text time When you're walking your dog

I can't walk the dog Who I sometimes take off the leash And carry a shit bag I'm just not doing it I'll tell you something I'm like this The game Listen

If a dog shits on my yard It's part of the game You don't get mad It is what it is My dog shits in your yard It is what it is Sometimes there is a tinge of guilt Because I know some of my neighbors

So I'll be like There's a six year old there Step in There's a six year old girl When your dog takes the shit Do you stand there defiantly Or do you pretend to be talking on the phone And not notice it

Are you a worm about it I'm a worm about it I'm not going to front I'll fain like I'm bending over And I'm doing something to pick it up Or if somebody goes Oh you know he's sick I ran out of shit bags

I'm not going to Because I've had confrontations One dude Do people literally say Hey Michael Rappaport That happened once Because now that you've had fame For a while but you're not some random

You can't believe what this asshole did You can't believe I will accept that I will not argue that This is a shitty game I gotta turn this down Because we're fucking getting into this If you want to insult me

And criticize me and judge me On my policies with shit bags It's not a Los Angeles thing I love Los Angeles from New York You put a garbage can on every corner This will go out the door You got a problem with me You have demands

Listen I'm not walking more Than a half a block You ever just been driving around And you'd be like oh there's Mary Tyler Moore With a shit bag Have you ever seen somebody with a shit bag? In Los Angeles? Somebody famous? No

I think that they have their assistant walks their dog Maybe that's what your problem is You need like an assistant I need to walk the dog I need that text time I need to clear my head I got two kids Get out of the house for a few minutes

Unfortunately yes And I say Don't This is a three prong problem And it's creating other little kids But I explain to them the reason why Because if you in Los Angeles If you carry that shit bag

You even have to make it back to your house Say you're ten blocks away from your house Dude I live it every morning You walk with a shit bag Eight nine ten blocks Remember that Tom Hanks movie Literally like it's to that point And it disrupts

Once you pick up the shit and you have the shit bag That's the only thing you're thinking about And then sometimes you get so relaxed it It's just like you forget that it's even in your hand And it's like just dangling It's just not cool man When she takes a fucking horrific shit This isn't going to be the shit podcast here by the way

When she takes one of those horrific shits Steamer That you can literally see through the bag And then you're walking with it It's degrading man And that's my thing I love degrading I've had people say pick your shit up

You know I had one guy My dog and I told this guy I shook his hand afterwards My dog shat his yard I told him the dog is sick This guy is a prick anyway This one he first moved in the neighborhood And I didn't know he was much more prick

No I respected that We got into some other thing later He first out my kid and some other kids Called them really bad names And it was bad Was it because they weren't picking up after the dog? No it wasn't even that But my dog shat in his yard

He had a weird accent too And then He said something I said The dog is sick or whatever One of my two or three excuses I had I kept going this fucking guy I was walking three four blocks away Picked up the shit in a shit bag

Drove up to me so he picked up the shit in a shit bag And brought the shit bag in his car I respected it And he came up to me and your dog shat And he handed me the shit bag and I said You know what? I respect that I took the shit and I said I had a shake and he didn't want to shake me

I said please I shook his hand And he went on And then I dropped the shit bag right there But you're acting like you're noble That this guy had to go pick up your shit You be like you know what I respect that It fucking Depends on what you feed him

If you feed him the human food Then this shit is as healthy as our shit It's fine, it's good for the grass Have you noticed that by the way? Anything can take a shit on your yard And it'll make the grass greener Except for a human being And I've shat on my own yard

Okay we gotta get into this That's my shit bag I apologize for the cough No no problem I had two cigars And I put them in the fucking humidor And I had it turned up too fucking high And it fucked up the cigars

Like they get this fucking acceptable There's like fucking little bug eggs in there And if it's up too high they like hatch I don't know what I have in I think I got a virus in me It's gradually This is the most disgusting first 10 minutes I don't want to discuss people

I'm not like one of these people Who likes to talk about shit On a scale of one to ten As far as your Upstanding citizen count Ten being the best One being like I can't wait for that motherfucker To move out of this neighborhood

Aside from dog stuff I'm a good neighbor It looks like Manson say Aside from fucking getting people killed I'm a good dog Aside from my dog My dog is harmless The dog couldn't hurt a fly

It said on the police report It said the dog was sleeping You freaked me out about that You were home and somebody came in And just like the boldness of that Just came into your house at night Took like whatever laptop or some Took stuff and my dog

Didn't wake up Cops come Dog fucking bolts out there Cops pull a pepper spray No don't don't don't pepper spray him When he had his moment to shine Sleeping You know I made this reference the other day

He's like that dude Bobby In Saturday Night Fever Driving around the crowd I was looking for you I would have done something Bobby you actually made me They fucking got Gus in Saturday Fever Remember they beat up Gus

That's why they went back and got them I've only seen it a couple of times Saturday Fever? I know that's a big one for you guys You're from Brooklyn by the way I'm from Manhattan I went to school in Brooklyn I have a lot of affiliations in Brooklyn

You know people you go to Brooklyn I got a Brooklyn pass Before we get into this shit Are we done with this shit topic here? I'm fine with it you brought it up I'm comfortable with it You were fascinated by it I'm comfortable with my stance on it

I have such a fucking need to be liked When we come back after this Are you gonna talk about your needs to be liked? I'm gonna talk about that and how I just found out from my fucking neighbor How loud I am I have that problem too I think it's an east coast thing

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If you don't use it you get fifty five dollars in Stamps Don't wait go to Stamps.com Before you do anything else click on the microphone At the top of the home page and type in Burr B-U-R-R that's Stamps.com enter Burr Alright back to the podcast here So today right We saw Bruce Springsteen by the way

The other night down in Anaheim Oh I thought you saw him around here No no no no sorry that's cool And I had never seen him and I was one of those guys going Dude I don't get it all he does is sing about Jersey But like so many people I know who work Did he do his southern accent Cause he's from Jersey but he does his southern accent

Sometimes which is weird to me He didn't do that do you know what I'm talking about I'm just you know he does like a southern accent But he's from Jersey He's the common man But you're from Jersey I like go ahead I don't want to shit on Bruce

And I was down there like alright man I wasn't gonna say born to be wild Born to run or whatever I'll listen to this shit Dude I gotta tell you something man I think that I ever think that I gave a performance After seeing what that guy did Dude four songs in I'm already blown away

He's blown away bands that are in their 20s and 30s That I've seen just fucking killing His voice sounds unreal Goes out to the middle of the crowd He's standing on this stage out there People are going fucking nuts And then he just lays back Into the crowd and crowd surfs

Like 70 rows up to the As the band keeps playing Boom they go right into the closing verse Dude that's on-core That's somebody Closing out a great concert That was his fourth song And it didn't peak there

He wore me out dude I was sitting down Three and a half hours Of that energy He is no joke dude It was sick And the thing about that that I love so much Is that he doesn't have to do three and a half hours He loves to perform

He can totally get your money's worth Whether you like it or not I got longer than Schindler's list What the fuck Bruce I gotta go man I gotta take my dog out to take a shit Every time I'm so old My back's killing me and shit

And they do that shit where They hit the final note of the song And Weinberg's doing the simple watch And they're playing a chord And you think he's gonna be like And he always just goes Oh my god Like you just kept thinking

That this guy couldn't get Dude it's fucking Anaheim One of the cheesiest He said it not me That's Bill talking about Anaheim Dude it doesn't even look real I think back in the day when they had All the orange groves and stuff

That had been some sort of personality It's just one fucking strip mall After another It looks like a giant like Feeling of any sort of culture Either way And he's down there performing Like he's in giant stages

I respect that So anyway, so today That fucking born to run song Which I never was into So I'm up in the bathroom and I'm singing it But I'm doing different lyrics and I'm singing to Nia And it's all vulgar Were you born to come?

No no no I was just saying how I was starting off saying About what a great guy I was And that Nia doesn't appreciate it But in the cadence of born to run Yeah and then somehow there was something About banging you in the ass That's cool

So then it goes Like banging you in the ass Like you know I don't need a Christmas gift I'll bang you in the ass But she'll never let me do that So I was singing that And I got all the way to the Loudest fucking out

So I walk out of the bathroom I didn't realize my bedroom window was open I go hey Nia did you like that Bruce Springsteen impression And before she could answer I heard somebody just in a talking voice goes No and I was like oh shit It was your neighbor Yeah and I started thinking like holy fuck

How much have they been hearing How loud am I And then Nia I kept wanting Nia to make me Feel better but she just goes you know You're loud There's times I pull up in the car And it's making me like really like Self conscious like fuck

I'm that loud And I felt bad until you fucking come And you hit the buzzer and I pick it up And I'm like hello and you start screaming Derrick cheater Loud as fuck Maybe it's just an east coast As far as upstanding citizens and loudness

I've come to terms with the fact that My neighbors know everything about me If they wanted to like you know Start a scandal on me They know My whole life I got this buddy of mine back He's a big giant Yankee fence

We have these epic fucking Arguments About sports where I'm just like I got him on speakerphone And I'm yelling like we're in a crowded bar I can't imagine I feel bad for my neighbors And what they've heard I know they've heard me doing

My neighbors on this side have kids and the stuff That I say cunt all the time I already look so But I look at it like she has a toddler And I can never hear her kid Well if you never hear the little Snotty nose loud mouth kids screaming and crying She probably never hears you should ask her

You never hear me say cunt Or fuck you Cause I don't want to offend your kids You should just ask her I don't know I think that would get Whatever You have to be mean to say yo It takes a lot for me to be embarrassed

Like every audition you go into And you eat your balls after a while You just don't feel it anymore But that I literally got That made me feel I felt embarrassed I was like wow She heard all of that and like just the The way she said no to

Was this was not the first time She heard my loud voice She just opened the window up for her They opened the window literally for her To get involved with the conversation And I was fantasizing about all these cool Words that she said but in the end I just had to realize like you know what

She was right I've come to terms with it I got a loud speaking voice But I'm in my house I'm not bringing it down So you hear what you hear and that's it But I turn music up I got a pool And I turn the fountains on when I'm there

It's not like It's not a fault the fucking house is a two feet Like I could literally take a running leap out If I could leap through my bedroom window Right I know we're on top of each other Not the house I mean it's slamming to the side You'd be there I would definitely be there

So this is some sports questions I know people want to know about your movies and shit But I just figured that you've answered All of that is a zillion times Alright well before I go into more sports shit We haven't started but I always end up talking sports Like you know Right out of the gate dude

You were in one of the greatest movies of my life True romance And I was wondering Like you were basically roommates with Brad Was Brad Pitt Brad Pitt at that point Or was he just about to be Almost Brad Pitt at that point Like he had done like Thelma and Louise

He had done the movie with Robert Redford He had done stuff He had done California And you know he wasn't the superstar But you knew that he was going to be that He was very well liked And you know there was He was about to be Brad Pitt

You knew that? Good looking son of a bitch with his abs No no no he was real He was totally cool You know the thing about true romance Was that first of all the script was so great When you read the script You were like you know Quentin Tarantino scripts

They just read so easy And you're just like laughing and like What the fuck and it was so irreverent And so you know every I'd say about 95% Of what wound up in true romance was written Like it's so actor friendly Like it's hard to score it up

So you know I had heard Like you know initially it was like Okay Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette And Patricia Arquette I had just seen In Sean Penn's movie called Indian Runner That was like one of the first things she did And she was great in that and I was like Oh this is going to be dope

And you know Christian Slater was like You know right at that time he was perfect And then you heard oh well Gary Oldman's Playing whatever Oh that's cool and then Val Kilmer's Playing Elvis really? I wasn't cast shit I had been going in for another part

I had been going in for One of the mobsters And actually I got cast as one of the mobsters As one of the younger mobsters So I was like kind of like Oh you know I was like So you would have been in that scene with

The classic scene with Walken and Around there So then you heard like you know Walken's playing The mobster holy shit And then Dennis Hopper's playing his dad holy shit And I'm 24 years old At this point I had done Zebrahead

A little part in Poetic Justice Just to meet Tupac I just wanted to meet him And then a little part In another movie And then True Romance I mean I was such a fan of all these guys And I was so sort of

Everybody was How big was Tupac by the time He was Tupac He was doing Poetic Justice He was like a star Because I thought he kind of came out And he was with the Humpty dance guys In like 90, 89, 90

Then he broke out on his own like 91, 92 I would think he was still like on the ride He wasn't what he became Like he became this iconic I loved him though this was after Juice I loved his music And he came like after You know when he was with Death Row

And he really took it to the next level But he was big And I thought he was I thought Juice's performance in this movie Juice was just like it was incredible And I was just at that time I mean I was still a huge fan of movies And huge fan of actors

But at that time I would become enamored With people's performances And I liked his music And I had a funny kind of relationship And she kept telling me before he did anything My friend Tupac He's going to be a big star And I had heard his name and then he came out with

Humpty dance and he came out with that You know that one verse on digital underground And then of course his solo album And then Juice and I was just like Damn this guy is special So to do that it was John Singleton Who was just off of Boys in the Hood And Janet Jackson

When Janet Jackson was like You worked with everybody He's got every icon out there Yeah and it meant a lot to me I get excited now but at the time I was young and I was like Really excited True romance and it was Quentin Tarantino

Who had done Reservoir Dogs Natural Born Killers had come out I think He didn't direct this one He wrote it and I had met Quentin Originally at the Sundance Film Festival Because the year that Reservoir Dogs was there Was the same year that Zebrahead was there

And that was a big deal for me It was a big deal for him He was nobody That was a really exciting time For independent filmmaking The script was being passed around Hollywood felt like a smaller community Everybody was talking about

True romance and I got cast as one of these mobsters This one was in it and that one was in it They cast you They cast me as one of the mobsters So then In the script Dick Richie The character I wanted to play was written as a black

It was written as Dick Richie black Young actor blah blah blah So they were looking at young Black actors It was just written that way And then they weren't finding them And Tony Scott The great Tony Scott

Rest in Peace So much fun to work with They called me And Mary Vernu The casting assistant who's now a huge casting director And I gotta fix this Because the other casting director I can't remember her name

I never remember her name They gave me a big break Anyway, but I remember I got the word from my agent that Mary Vernu She thinks you're Dick Richie And you should play that I never considered the part because She was like the way you are

And I was like that I was looking for my big break Really sort of wide-eyed I don't know how actors do it It's the hardest thing ever It's so much easier as a stand-up Sitting there doing an hour long commercial That's your special

You just do it enough That's how I finally got little parts That I've been getting lately The shit that you guys do I've done a couple of pilots The second the pilot is over I'm going to go tell jokes These other guys are like well

You're unemployed again I don't know how you do that It's cool You said something when we were working together About the stand-up thing If you're good at it Which you are and you're successful You're never unemployed

It's a beautiful thing I don't have that level of strength To do To try and make it I had a passion for stand-up But just sit there and be like I'm going to get a bit part And be in this movie

This giant production Every fucking movie you see There's like a hundred Forty actors who don't work on that But there's like two people that continue on Then maybe somebody In the other 38 Get something and then everybody else

Goes back to fucking waiting tables You were in a movie Which is the biggest thing ever Everybody in your hometown Hard that is It's tough I'm not saying As opposed to digging a ditch

It's not physically hard Emotionally it's hard It's emotionally it is hard To then fucking going back To waiting the tables And just knowing you're good enough Just having And it's being proved

Because you got a part But it might not pay the bills When you're If you were quarterback and you came out You threw 300 yards And for some inexplicable reason You sit on the bench again For two fucking years

That's like Brady's thing He was just sitting there Being an actor The emotional highs and lows are tough I could never do it It sucks It's the worst part of it It does it seems like it sucks

That's why it always makes me laugh When actors Stand-up has this weird sort of like It's respected and they also look at you Like you're slapping yourself and they have With a rubber chicken It is obnoxious Just ask my neighbor

It's fucking obnoxious But there is this respect for it But the balls it takes to get on that I feel like There is a lot of humiliation But the level God willing And I would just be thinking the whole time

As I'm doing this I have to be so fucking unreal in this thing Or else I go back to Applebee's I don't know how they do it It's tough That's why when people ask me What do you need to do To be in this business

I always say you have to It has to be something you have to do It can't be something that you Kind of want to do If it's not something that you have to do If it's intrinsically In you that you have to do it Don't even try to do it

Because there's too much It takes too much out of you It has to be something that's within you It's like if you were a writer What do I have to do to be a writer? Keep going And just because you're not on Writing on the Sopranos

It has to be something that's organic I think you just have to have that Psycho Once you start down the road There's no way I'm stopping No matter how many times I gotta tell you what's crazy I know a couple of comics

Throughout the years They're these legendary guys Who never got beyond doing open mics Or doing the occasional spot And they fucking bomb 98% Like bomb Like quit the business bomb

For the last five fucking years And you see all these funny people That you run into on the road There's people out there that write Really funny shit That's funny than half the fucking comics But try going on stage I can never do it

Because it's a whole fear of bombing And then you see this guy Just night after night after night Basically living the horror That everybody doesn't want And he just keeps fucking coming back That's dictuitiveness And actually apply it to something you're good at

You'd be great Right, that's fucked up It is, but anyways, let's go back Because I know people will probably upset that So true romance This cast was compiled So anyway, so on a Saturday They needed to cast this part

It was like a week or two weeks away from shooting So on a Saturday Which is unusual for show business And in general to do anything on a Saturday You know, show business They take all of December's off The 4th of July is like a three week holiday You know, like this business

Half of September is Jewish holiday Any holiday in this business So for them to do something on a Saturday There was a necessary, you know, there was some urgency So I go in there and they're like We feel like you're this guy Who you are and just read And it was with me, Tony Scott and the casting directors

And I went through all the Dick Richie scenes And I said to them Once that door opened And I was like, once I started thinking about I was like, I love this part I love this character I remember I said to them, don't let me leave Until I get it right

And I went in and I kept reading And you knew to say that at 24 Because it wasn't any hustle It wasn't any hustle Like now you could say that's like Oh, that's a smart thing to say Because once I locked into the idea Of me doing it, I was like

When I was younger I would go in there with blinders on I would be like, yo, I'm going in here I'm getting this shit, I'm doing this shit And that's it That's what I'm talking about That psycho focus That's what I had

I wanted it and it was right there So I went in there, I did a good job And I remember one thing Is that behind me When I went to go set up in the room All the people that had been cast Were sitting behind me So it was like Christopher Walk and Samuel Jackson

Gary Oldman, all their headshots Playing this part, I remember seeing that And I was just like Trying not to pay attention to it But I remember walking over to the thing And seeing all of them and I was like I gotta fucking do this, I gotta get this shit And then they called me

Two or three days later And they said you got the part And it was like the character in the movie Because it was like you got the part, I got the part And then I remember I went through a rehearsal It was me and Kristen Slater and Patricia Arquette And Patricia Arquette was fine

At that time I had a huge crush on her Me too, and she was beautiful And she was sexy and really sweet And I was tripping out, I was like she's fine And I just saw her in Indian Runner And Kristen Slater was like a part of my youth Watching him, so I'm just starting

To be in the show business I had done a few things Because he started so young He might have been a little older Maybe not, but he was Kristen Slater He was a huge star So I'm like tripping out We're like having this bonding sessions

And we go out to eat and we're eating lunch And I'm like what the fuck am I doing here And we're reading scenes and it's Tony Scott And he directed all these movies And Tony Scott was Just such a... Tony Scott, the way he treats actors And the way he treated me at that time

Was a big thing because I was the low man on the totem pole At least I looked at myself like that But I also had ideas and thoughts About the character and he was so open And some things he would say Great, great, do that Some things he would say no I don't do that

But he gave me a voice and it was the first time Where I felt like the first time I had only done four or five things Not like I've been trying to do it You were treating her like you were pro Like you know what you were doing But it really gave me confidence to go forward Like yeah I have a say in these things

And he just was so positive And so much energy And so enthusiastic every day And his energy would supersede everybody On the crew and he just was You know the guy that I actually Was such a huge fan of He was devastated when he passed

Was Chris Penn He was fun You were in that final show Where you were covering up and everything And you know what the day this goes out I'm going to send you a picture You could treat with this I found these cool pictures from on the set

I'll send it to you Like personal pictures that I took But Chris Penn, Tom Sizemore And these guys were like Tom Sizemore was in everything at the time And Chris Penn these were dudes And they were in a lot of shit And I'm like with them and they're treating me

Like I'm one of them And Chris Penn and Sizemore So he was just a sweet guy There was a Reservoir Dogs Anniversary DVD That I watched with this buddy of mine, Derosa And it had all of them Telling stories

Chris Penn's stories were just like He was just that hanging out guy He was a sweet guy Just sweet I always felt like the way he I loved him in Reservoir Dogs At close range And I went on this whole

Chris Penn tear That anything he was in He did some obscure movie Not obscure, but it was one with Harvey Keitel I can't remember what it was His landlord or something I just remember him running up the side of the house Trying to see if Keitel was in there

I can't remember what the name of the movie was But this is back when Blockbuster video I'd be going there every day Reservoir Dogs was like Ground Zero for me And every actor in there Just watching all of that And I became

Not like I stopped, I was just such a huge fan Of that guy, were they like hilarious? They were just hilarious and fun And warm And big personalities Victor Argo, he's another guy Passed away, Victor Argo was one of the mobsters He was in Taxi Driver

He was the guy in the store When Travis shoots the guy When he tries to rob the bodega And he's in a lot of scores I'm bugging out That I'm working And then Samuel Jackson Sam's treating me like he knows me

And Val Kilmer is there And I walk into the makeup trailer And Val Kilmer is doing his Elvis makeup And he's talking in the Elvis voice Finding the character I remember having a conversation It was crazy He's sitting next to Val Kilmer who's doing Elvis

It's crazy, I'm tripping out I'm literally tripping What did you do? How did you not feed Into that and go, oh my god, I'm not worthy to be here How did you keep yourself settled? This is becoming like inside the actress studio What I would do and what I always do

Still to this day when I worked with somebody When I worked with you, I had to get myself together Shut up My ego actually entertained that For half a second I was on premium blend Maybe it was a thrill for him At the time I used to

I would enjoy and Be a fan when it was time to be a fan I would never invade space Or talk to them about and I never would go up to somebody And sort of Do what I'm doing to you right now? I remember me and my friend Kevin Corrigan Who wanted to play the young gangster

And we had worked together On my first movie Zebrahead And we had worked together on something else And we were both, like he got cast Now we're friends now and I always looked at Kevin Like he's a real actor, he's really good He's been in tons of stuff, he's on twitter We could tweet out Kevin

And we saw Christopher Walken In his wardrobe For the first time By the craft service And Kevin, like Kevin would probably Put Christopher Walken as his number one Like I love Christopher Walken, but I would go Like DeNiro's my number one

And Kevin was like, and I was like, you gotta go talk to him I'm hyping him up to, go talk to him Like you're like him, go talk to him And I remember he went over and talked to him In conversation, he would tell it better It was kind of anti-climatic Because you know, Chris is bugged out Chris is so much more funnier than you would think

But at the time, he was younger So he really had that spooky look And that dark black hair And he had the wardrobe on So he had the suit on with this long trench coat What was his character name? Vincent? Oh, it wasn't Vincent Vega, that was the blonde It was Coralini

Or I don't remember He was the Antichrist But I remember seeing him by craft service By the truck, and I was like, oh, shit And I mean, it was just It was just such an exciting time, and Gandolfini In our boat, Gandolfini was That was his first thing

So he was even less than, he had never acted In a movie before, like he had done stage So he was really nervous He was really freaking out So he was playing the mobster, and I remember Being there watching that scene with him in Patricia Arquette And I'm just, I would go to this Oh, you hung out, you would

Just to go, just to watch The scene with Christopher Walken And Dennis Hopper, I was there Watching it It was a small set And it was a small little concert As that whole thing was Where you were just sitting there going, this is classic

Crazy, yeah, you knew That was the only movie that I've ever done Where you, I could say And I have a pretty good track record The only movie I've ever done where I knew it was gonna be great To all the movies that I've done Highs, lows, good or bad Whatever, you knew it was special

When they would go I gotta ask some geek questions Go ahead, whatever So when they would say cut After they did a run through of the scene Would there be any laughing and joking around Or was it real serious? It wasn't serious, like I'm taking myself seriously

But I think the tone of the scene Because it was serious, you know I remember a couple of times a line would get messed up And you know, there'd be a little bit of giggling And Tony, you know, I was behind the monitor You know, being super quiet And literally saying to myself I can't fucking believe I'm here

Like tripping out, because we all When you read that scene, that was word for word You knew that scene, you knew what it was gonna be And just to hear them I don't think I had headphones on listening to it But you could hear them, you know Just to hear them and be around it Like you knew you were watching something special

Like I remember feeling like this is something special And then when you see the scene, you know Like I was there, like I remember sitting there You know, and did you feel as Each time they did it a little different Or did they have their choices down They had their choices down Walking fluctuates a little bit

But I think the scene was so well written This is like almost 20 years ago But the scene was so well written You didn't need to really... Once you made it, you're locked in, you locked in Because it was just the writing So many moments in that scene I love when Walken clasps his hands together

Like, please, don't make me Whatever he says there It's been a while since I've seen it But that point where Hopper Just like You know, can I have one of those Chester Fields And he's just like, you know what I'm going out fucking swinging

And when he finishes the story He sees that look on his face Where he's like preparing himself I'm gonna get killed now And it was just one of the greatest scenes It really is It really is special And you knew it was going to be special

And when they got cast, you knew it was going to be great How long did it take them to shoot it? They probably had a whole afternoon Or maybe the whole day But they might have had the whole afternoon Because the thing about the scene, there's not much Other than the acting There's not much logistically going on

So there's not that little trailer It might have been a whole day I know I was there for a few hours Where did they shoot that? It wasn't Warner Brothers I mean, I don't think it was Warner Brothers I can't remember exactly where But it was a stage

I feel like it was Culver City It might have been Sony, I think it was Sony I think it was Sony, Culver City So it was cool, man I had to watch that again immediately Because I also like... Now that I've been out in LA here for like five years The same way I like watching old movies about New York City

And seeing stuff that's still standing there And that shit that changed I'm starting to get like that for LA out here I just took to go to the locations Sometimes, yeah, I'll actually do that Like it bums me out that where they shot Reservoir Dogs out in Eagle Rock Doesn't exist anymore

I just want to... at least is the alley still there Where they pull the cop out of the trunk I'm a geek for old sports stadiums I love that stuff And I'm a geek for like... There's probably 20 Like guy movies I don't give a fuck about

What women want, I don't know where they shot that Like if there's a place where they shot Goodfellas, if there's a place Reservoir Dogs The typical hacky guy list There's no left turns In the films that I like Me neither

I want to talk to you About Hooper real quick Unless you had something more to add All I could say is it was a great experience It was everything that you would imagine Everybody was great In Brad Pitt It was a special film

To be a part of It was a special time for me Yeah, you were in one of those rare movies Before I described that Two people continue on You were in one where it seemed like Everybody worked out of that In fact, one of the guys

Who played In the scene The walk-in scene with Hooper The guy was over at the fridge He speaks in Italian He's a good friend of mine He's in tons of stuff He was in the wire

He's in day works all the time And he was in the scene But he's one of those guys He would have been back in the day When Blockbuster Video was still around He'd be one of those guys that you gradually Like who's this guy How the fuck

Back in the day did you figure out What other movies they did Before IMDB Muscle it through Maybe you'd buy like that book You'd buy the book But you wouldn't even be able to keep up People would have to have a conversation

He was in this and you'd call friends And now you could just text And having that conversation the other day The art of conversations And figuring things out is gone And you look at your phone and you've got Now on the new download On the iPhone where they have

That GPS thing Which is great now You don't have to look down at the phone You can just sit there mindless That I don't mind But sometimes like What was he in and you could kind of Oh yeah he was in that

But you just get it all taken away from IMDB now Oh yeah and it gets rid of the debates I bet you 20 bucks 20 bucks says he was in that fucking movie Then it would get resolved six weeks later But now you can't even get to the bet now Speaking of betting This is a fucking question here

That I want to I got to ask What about the thing you were saying to me about Red Orbeck you heard that he was gay You said that I was like I don't know that's your guy I heard you heard that he had a bungalow In West Hollywood and I was like

That's a big skill or you should break that I know where this is coming from This is coming from you being a Nix fan And you have two little championship banners That have to be turning yellow at this point Yeah that's true I wasn't going to drop in like that But you did say something about Red Orbeck having a bungalow

In West Hollywood and there was a whole scandal I thought it was you I understand it's the jealousy Somebody brought that up to me Probably another sad ass fucking Nix fan I was surprised I was like how could Red Orbeck have a bungalow In West Hollywood and there was a whole other thing

I heard that's how you got into true romance I heard you gave him a favor You gave him a fucking handy And the business was shut down Got one of his cigars so to speak Fucking New York Yes, basketball fan, Nix fans All these fucking Nix fans

Who've lived in Brooklyn And have lived die hard fucking Nix fans All of a sudden the New Jersey Nets move into their burrow And then all of a sudden They just all Brooklyn Nets fans Are they all Brooklyn Nets fans? Enough of them are that it's shocking to me

The fact that when they were beating The Nix in the end When they played in Brooklyn And you knew that the Nets were going to beat the Nix That all those people were standing up going Brooklyn Yeah, yeah, yeah Like taunting the New York Nix To me that's like some Benedict Arnold shit

Well here's the thing Here's the thing Please explain me what the thing is Let me put it in Boston terms Let's say a team Became the Dorchester Ducks Basketball team Like I don't know Boston so well

But I know that Dorchester is like There is a place in Dorchester And there are ducks up there Let's say a team Became like a sub team of Boston And it was Dorchester Neighborhood that's like very close knit And it's in a lot of pride

And a lot of people have come through there And it's a working class neighborhood Brooklyn is that I get that That's the thing So I think some people flipping Is because of that Because it's like yo

This is Brooklyn like if you're from Brooklyn And you grew up a Nix fan For me I'm curious Who are going to be the Brooklyn Nets fans Well here's my question The Nix are on a fucking tear They beat the Heat last night Something like that 13 and 4

Something crazy right I don't count my chickens with that shit Let's just say hypothetical They finally pushed through this year And they won a championship And all those people in Brooklyn Who've been sitting there And they went through all the finger roll

Instead of the dunk they went through all the fucking shit With the Nix And all this You're not going to be roof falling And that's just like I guess I get it to a certain extent If you're a kid Like I get like little kids

But if you're some guy And is 30 years old So whatever you started watching when you're 6 You got a quarter of a century Of fucking just rooting For this team And then all of a sudden The fucking New Jersey Nets

The New Jersey Nets It's an interesting thing I don't know It's going to be a conflict of interest Because the crazy thing is they're both doing well And if they play each other in the playoffs It's going to be interesting I would be curious

At the Brooklyn Arena Which I haven't been to How nice that place is I just saw it on TV I heard it's really nice The little suites that they have up there They're like little mini brown stones That's what the floor is supposed to look like

I guess if you have a nice brown stone That's the pattern of the wood on the floor And then you look at the fucking Celtics We have the parquet floor There's a bunch of cinder blocks You knock that shit box down The Boston Garden Get the fuck out of my house

You knock that shit box down You knock that piss hole down That shit hole I know what this is coming from I'm standing up now This guy's about to assault me No, no, you guys could never win I get it

Kenny Skywalker Bernard King And they all lost to the shamrock I just want to say You guys knock that shit hole down And then you have a new arena What's it called? The fucking fleet center

You should have done that You should have made it Tied-tected and stuff But you cut corners Make it nice Do something nice to it But you want it to make a shit box Knock the one down and then make another shit box

You walked by it I've never been there You sound like a guy who's never gone to the Boston Garden I've never been there Did you go on that tour of Fenway Were we together? No, we did That fucking place

Oh, the history I could go to the museum for a history It was a piss hole If they sold mouse ears there Like you were at Disneyland You told me you loved it The history Is it not a shit box

I couldn't even fit in some of those seats There's poles blocking It's a shit hole It's character Barclays wanted to revamp there and make a nice arena God bless them I'm not giving them shit I think it's great that they did that

But what I'm saying is that you went from Oh, the fans You went from the Boston Garden If you consider winning 16 titles There a shit hole I didn't say what they were I'm just saying the garden itself was a piss box Listen, I'm not going to say I didn't need a coat of paint

I'm not going to say that the electrical didn't Crap out on you every once in a while I'm not saying that But it's better than the Madison Square Garden My friend, they don't call You can't even compare What do they call it? What do they call it?

The most famous arena in the world It'll never get knocked down This is the thing First of all, that's the second one They already knocked down the first one I know that And secondly The fucking most famous arena in the world

You know who came up with that? The people who fucking own the thing Well, they're good marketing people That's all I'm saying If I anoint myself A fucking nickname You should call them to cover up to something About the Fleet Center

It's like almost not even in Boston I went there and I was like Where is this place? No, it's in downtown Boston I don't know, it just seemed weird We've won a bunch of titles I liked it Us working on the heat

What do you like there? The swan boats? I like the food I respect the sports I love Larry Joe Bird It's his birthday today, Larry Joe Bird Love him It's Larry Joe Bird's birthday We're taping this on the 7th

It's his birthday too, I never knew they had the same bird Then he loved Larry Bird I asked him, why didn't you like him over Magic Johnson Because Larry made me feel like I could make the league too Right He made it feel like anyone could do it So Larry I'll tell you a thing about the Boston Celtics

I'll tell you something after your thing I grew up hating the Celtics I couldn't even appreciate how good they were And how good Larry Bird was Everybody, I hated them My nickname in Brooklyn Is Larry Bird Because of the way I look

Dude, if you could grow one of those awful mustaches It's just my coloring I don't look like Larry Bird No, I don't look like him Just because I play basketball I never had a shag He had the haircut Every white dude had in the 80s

Everybody had that mullet I didn't have a mullet, but I was feathered Of course you did And I bet you had some sort of With your liking of hip hop and everything You probably had one of those thin Puerto Rican I wish, shaped up mustaches At the time when Larry...

No, at the time I was too young to have one But I'll tell you something I told you this I really loved the Celtics team that they have now And what they did to Miami last year Pushing them to game 7 That was one of my favorite Celtic teams of all time Me too, all hard

And I've had mixed feelings about Kevin Garnet Especially now that he's a Celtic I respect him, I love his career He's awesome, the way he plays Inspires me in what I do He plays at the same level all the time And they went out on their fucking shields last year And almost beat those motherfuckers

Because I don't care who it is The Knicks, the Nets, the Utah Jazz The fucking New Orleans Pelicans Whatever they're becoming Somebody needs to beat the heat See me, I feel that way about the Lakers I hate the Lakers And I actually think Kobe Bryant

This will get me some fucking emails I think he's one of the most overrated Five-time champions of all time Well, go ahead, I can argue it What can you say? He's been on nothing but pile-on teams Like everything that they give LeBron shit for doing Going to Miami, Kobe has been living

He just hasn't had to leave because they bring everybody in Dude, what he did the other night When he walked off the court with 10 seconds left Did you see that shit? Four seconds Four seconds, whatever you did You left your teammates sitting out there All that does is breed resentment

That guy is a cancer He's one of the greatest individual one-on-one players Ever since Jordan I would say he's number two behind Jordan But he doesn't make anybody better around him He breeds fucking resentment I agree But I love Kobe

He's a blood, he's an animal And that's what he has over the rest Kobe would have played with the five stitches Do you think Kobe Bryant would have played with the five stitches And I'm not disrespecting Carmelo I love you But do you think Kobe Bryant would have played with the five stitches Kobe Bryant could be missing a leg and he would play

He would have played against Miami last night That's the difference between him and everybody else But this is my criticism of the guy The guy does not know how to get along With other fucking people He's the Bobby Fisher of basketball He fucking ran shack out of town Like he said the other day that you're going to score your 30th thousand point

Did you ever think you'd do that And he says oh you know I'm not into individual stuff To me it was always about champions It's like that's why you ran shack out of town At the height of his fucking powers You'd won three championships in four years Shack leaves the very next year He wins one with the heat

But you got your 50 a game I'm not saying that he hasn't done some things That he probably regrets He would never say this But I'm saying I love that guy in his game And I've learned to appreciate him And his intensity You're not saying anything

You're not saying anything that nobody hasn't said All they do is blow Kobe I'm not blowing him You're fucking giving him a hand job He deserves a fucking hand job And you know what Wait let's go back He would have played with the stitches that Carmelo

Carmelo I love Carmelo is retarded He's sick And he's becoming a great great team player And all that shit Yes he is and I've definitely seen that And his talent is immense His talent is immense

But last night while I was watching that game He might play, he might not play Last night with five stitches on your non shooting Alan Iverson would have played Kobe Bryant would have played I'm not questioning the guy's heart You know when to play anyone else in the NBA now I'm saying his inability

To get along with other fucking guys Has fucked the Lakers When does he just take over a fucking series Has he ever done that Didn't he do that against you guys When That series that we just They just beat you

This was his quote The MVP of the game seven of that series Was the fucking officiating crew We They beat you They fucking beat you Yes they did This is my thing

Like the fucking Giants They fucking beat us You mean in the Super Bowl last year And the Super Bowl before that When they beat the Patriots twice Yes they did Oh sorry When you guys were 18 and 0

I just gotta let you get through this And then they beat you in the Super Bowl Are you talking about that year or last year When they beat you in the Super Bowl Was that last year I'm sorry I get confused You feel better But you're talking about when the Giants beat the New England Patriots

In the last two Super Bowls I know it's hard for you to remember because it happened twice I give it up I definitely give it up But my thing about the Celtics Celtics Lakers finals Should be decided by the players

You put your fucking whistle away You don't call 35 fucking files on one team And I sat there And I watched the Lakers Make a fourth quarter comeback against the Celtics From the fucking foul line I remember If you tell me one memorable fucking shot

In that fucking game There's only one, was meta world peace He hit a three pointer And the only thing that made it memorable Was he was so fucking high on whatever the fuck his therapist gave him He was waving to the crowd Like he was already at the fucking parade That was the only memorable

Other than that it was Rashid Wallace Just standing there as Kobe jumps into him Which I can see in no call But to call a fucking offensive foul And Kobe said at the end of the game Because I don't know how we won that game So I'm saying that this guy He's sick

One of those guys probably thought Peyton Manning was better than Brady Too for the longest fuck No, I'm not saying there's not flaws I went through my hating My hating Kobe phase two You would think that I hate the guy I don't

I don't But my fucking thing about that guy is He's really In a very openly way A fucking cancer He's the Bobby fish of the NBA You know what he is? He's reverse Magic Johnson Where Magic Johnson

Could walk into a locker room And look at me On his team inexplicably And he could somehow figure out Where he needed to give me the ball Which would probably be right under the fucking net And somehow get eight points Kobe would walk in

And would fucking be like Get that fucking piece of shit out of here He would tell you to get the fuck out of here And people think that's because He gives a fuck about himself Dude, those championships He doesn't go to the front fucking office Because he wants the Lakers and the team

To win a championship That winning championships is another individual Stat for him It's all about fucking him I'm not going to argue or debate With you about any of that shit I think the guy is retarded though I'm going to say that in the best way

And the fact that he's doing it This year The fact that he's never You're never going to see him dip He's never going to dip Absolutely, but the thing about it is though If you really give a fuck about winning championships You don't walk out on your team

Dude, he made everybody on that team his bitch At that point It becomes When did it become DeWight Howard By the way That's that LA The stew and those guys on the Lakers They were saying it last night on TBS

When I was watching you next beat the heat Everyone was going DeWight Howard I don't know, I don't like his headband I think it's fucking with him How old are you What are you doing Put it on straight, do something I don't like the headband

They've brought everybody in short of Jesus Christ To help this guy get five fucking rings And then they compare him to Kobe Bryant Who had Luke Longley and Bill Cart To Jordan That's who he won with Give me a fucking break The rings of the rings

The ring is the thing That's not it, it's different It's like the steroid error and not the steroid error This is the pile on error Oh it is the pile on error Miami started it It started that bullshit And you guys in Boston

That was a pile on championship So I can fucking admit that That's a pile on championship Miami's was a pile on championship Shack, Phil Jackson and all those fucking guys That was a pile on They're like the Yankees of basketball Every year they're going to be signing

These giant fucking guys I'm not a Lakers fan I'm not going to sit here and defend the Lakers Like that I want somebody to make sure they beat the heat I love the showtime Lakers And as much as I hated those guys Like back then when like

They had a crew too But yeah but it was like draft picks But the whole NBA was different then I know but I wish it went back to that where it was just like Year after fucking year You gotta gloom your guys When the Sixers came in you knew who was coming to town And you had fucking three years of fucking hating those guys

I agree Now it's like the guy you fucking hate the most He's on your team Putting the fucking hat on and it's stupid Ray Allen did I'm with Kevin Garnett I don't say hello I'm on that shit I as a Boston fan don't mind what he did because he wasn't ours to begin with

We got him as a free agent But we knew what he was He'll go down there to Miami Because that's the way it's done now They all fucking hang out and drink pina coladas in the off season They're all friends What if you and you and me all got on the same team And then we're like Larry in Magic

See you're coming around to my side I don't like all that AAU shit They all grew up together That's the problem with the NBA They all grew up together playing basketball since they were 11-12 years old You're not gonna fight them Moses Malone Met

Bill Lambier on a basketball court Moses Malone went against Kareem Abdul-Jabbar when they came out there Magic and Larry the first time they went out They went face to face was playing against each other Right They travel and they're 11-12 Everybody's kissing and hugging

That's what's wrong with the NBA You think that fucking Lonnie Shelton Was hanging out with Daryl Dawkins Hell fucking no Lonnie Shelton is Seattle Superstar He was like a goon You think that Bob Lanier and artist Gilmore

Were like yucking it up during the off season In Kabul These guys were all kissing and hugging So my thing is It isn't because I already always sound like A fucking crabby old man with a tampon But like My thing is

That's how it's done now But don't fucking put these people In the same category As Larry Bird We played like a bunch of sissies last night No fucking layups this game That type of shit is gone It's gone now

You'll never see the two like when Doc and Larry fought That was shocking You'll never see that happen LeBron and Kobe won't get into a fist fight What Dwayne Wade did to Kobe Last year during the All-Star game See that's why I like Kobe Bryant I like him too

I like him but I'm just saying He's on that shit I think about Kobe's If he acts like a fucking asshole Stephen A. Smith was still blowing the guy He walked off from his fucking team Call him out Kobe's on that shit though

Like he's like fuck these guys He's literally like fuck these guys And I like that fuck these guys I don't think he's like fuck these guys I think he's like fuck these guys when he's playing you And at the end of the year he goes Fuck this, those guys just beat us Get us their best guy

I don't know about all that But I like that he's like fuck these guys And I like that Garnett is like fuck these guys And you want to go to the Miami Heat Then fuck you Jesus Shuttlesworth Fuck you No Kobe is a hard guy to hate Even as a fucking Celtic fan

But it just pisses me off When they compare these guys today He's the closest comparison you can make though No he isn't At all the guys left Kobe Bryant is the closest Not even close I didn't say He's the closest and you're saying not even close

He doesn't make anybody around him better He's all about himself He's not about the team I agree No but I'm saying from that mindset Of that tenacity Yeah well that's a whole other story I'm just saying

I'm just saying Bill Russell is the most overrated icon In sports It was like when LeBron was playing in high school You know those clips of him playing high school The pimple faced You know the 17 year old That's what Bill Russell was when he was playing in the NBA

I'm not saying he wasn't great But he never got to compete against He's an extremely good competition If you're only playing Jerry West These are not centers Of course you're going to block every shot You're seven feet everywhere

I know we beat you guys a lot We're in converse I'm just saying that whole 11 championships Whatever I'll go with this What would Bill Russell be now He'd be like You know what he'd be in the NBA today

He'd be like Serge Abaka If he was lucky If he was lucky No that's if you teleported him But if he actually came up in this era With his talent The basketball knowledge I'm going to get so much trouble for saying that

The nutrition that they have They'd all be bulked up You can't compare different eras But I will say this Early on Every sport has that You can I probably could've made the league

Me too Which I couldn't The Yankees are a team As much as I hate them What makes them the greatest Franchise ever More so than the 27 They went

Babe Ruth To Lou Gehrig To Joe DiMaggio 40 years of getting Jordan In a row And everybody else is scouting people We fucking sold Babe Ruth

That's why I hated the curse of Babe I felt that was a cop out We're fucking idiots It wasn't no curse it was just you guys fucked up Unbelievably And deserved every Not the fans But the organization

They could've given What titles They don't even count to me This makes me feel Like any Laker fan How happy that made them feel Those titles don't even count to me They just don't count

Because they're just Whatever man We were just down three games to none To a $215 million team We came back Do you know that'll never happen again Unless the New York Yankees do it To have another

Team With like four first ballad hall of famers Choke away four games in a row You're never going to see it again Unless the fucking Yankees do it Because they're the only ones who can afford That $250 million fucking team Yes

That's all I'm going to say yes You got to take that one The same way I got to take your giant shit You mean when they beat their fucking Patrons? That's crazy Evidently you were on one of those ghost stories Yes

Celebrity ghost stories thing And they bluntly asked What the fuck is this It was totally real So you knew they were going to say How full of shit No but we got part two The part two is even better

It's coming up on Fuck I don't know the name of the new show But it's something something And we went back to school I know I'm familiar with the show Where it's like celebrities I had a encounter with a ghost And I told it

And it was real You believe in ghosts I had a ghost encounter I can't find the fucking thing Wait a second Take me through this I think you're just afraid of the dark No I'm not

I went to a really old high school Billy Cunningham went to Doug Mo And Barbara Streisand And the rapper Special Ed Wow That's a pretty eclectic A Rasmus Hall High School in Brooklyn No wait I thought you were from Manhattan

I went to high school We were at an hour and seven Effort of the list Let's know We'll wrap it up with the ghost story It's not worth it I promise you it's not There's other things

Fuck you you saw a ghost I want to hear this When we were in high school we got locked in a room We were 15 years old We got the shit scared out of us We went on the thing And I talked about it Slow it down

You were in this high school It's really old It's a really old high school There's ghosts in there And you're going to your science class Is this after hours? It was after school It was like during

Ghost never come out during the time We had detention It was like the urban version Of the breakfast club It was like the Brooklyn version Of the breakfast club So instead of weed He had coke crack

We're sniffing it And we're drinking beers in 40s But you know They make things seem heightened On the celebrity ghost stories It's You okay? I don't want to talk about

Oh my god Okay Alright It's too hard to talk about It's emotional I don't want to get so It brings you to a bad spot I don't want to bring up

Your true life ghost story I wanted to tell you The reason why I'm wearing my Giants The reason why I'm wearing my Giants t-shirt And my matching Giants sneakers Is because my son has his playoff game today You look like a make-a-wish kid with that matching shit on But go ahead

We have a playoff game today I have to get to the field an hour and a half Before to check the grass to make sure everything's good Because you know it's the Football Football But you know he's 10 I'm not the coach but I'm the inspirational

Leader of the team You look like that fireman Ed Exactly Exactly what I am Of the Barrington Of the Barrington 10 year old league I am the fireman Ed of the Giants

You're a great dad We won the Super Bowl last year And we have our playoff game today Are you yelling at the other little kids? That's right bitch It's very good in that way But I will say one game That we played

It wasn't Tony Gonzalez's kid But Tony Gonzalez's kid was on that team this year We were losing And I was like we're gonna win this game And every time we'd score a touchdown Not Tony's a Gonzalez's kid But he was on their team But this fat kid

Was like what's the big deal You just got one touchdown And I ignored him the first time Because I'm going nuts So this is a fat kid on the other team A fat 9 year old at this point It could be between 10 and 12 It could be 10 or 12

Let's make him sound 12 so you don't sound that bad Let's make him 12 He's hot comedians too I don't say anything to him And then we scored again Now we're down 6 points This guy's getting so excited Every time they score

I'm looking over at him He's like don't speak to me You're not allowed to talk to me And then when we won the game I got your head You fat fuck Get off the Twinkies And then stock up

You could say that back in the day You could literally duke it out with his dad And in the end even though there was blood and teeth There would be no lawsuit We won the game And after the game you lined up in the handshake And Tubby saw me But I'm always really

You're in the stance I'm the inspirational leader I'm the inspirational coach Because we were losing they brought me at halftime To come over there and give a speech So I gave a speech It's like my version of Hoosiers every week I love it

I gave Fatso a good 5 And I'll pop on the ass after the game And say good game Did he get mad or no No but he knew that we had a little thing It was like That moment in the hangover When the little kid was like

But I was the little kid So hopefully we'll play them in the playoffs They're the chiefs Where are they at right now What level? Is it the first round of the playoffs? Today's the first round of the playoffs And we're playing a kid I have a speech planned out today

And it's about us being a team And them having just one good player And are you going to let one good player Beat you brothers Something like that I don't want to blow my load right now But it's a really good speech I haven't written down

Dude you know what we're at the end here And you know what I completely forgot to bring up That I love was the documentary That you did on Tribe Call Quest And there was a question that If people didn't see it I'm one of those people came way way late To the game when it comes to all

Rap, hip hop I was obviously familiar with them And I knew a lot of their stuff Yo MTV Rap was on But I didn't know to the level All of this stuff Even if you're not a fan of that music You'll love it

You'll love this documentary Their music is for everybody I call them the Rolling Stones of Hip Hop Their music is you can't not like their music Or the Beatles of Hip Hop Their music is just that accessible All ages, Tribe Call Quest They're doing it

The name of the film is Beat Troms and Life The Travels of a Tribe Call Quest And everything is good, everything is smooth I know there was a little bit of drama there Everything is smooth I think that was all because They are very protective And they understand what

The legacy of a Tribe Call Quest means to the fans I do too, that's why I made the movie I came at it as a fan I love the group I didn't know anything about them I did a lot of stuff and respected them That's why I made the movie That's why I made it

It wasn't the first time A documentary director got into it With the subjects of a documentary It's not going to be the last time People freak out right before it comes out You're like oh my god, is this going to ruin me I understand Burt Reynolds I heard before

Boogie Nights came out He walked out of a screening Maybe even fired his agent Everybody loves it Trust me, if somebody was filming a documentary Of my life You think I'd want this segment And our celebrity ghost story

That can't make it into the fucking movie I understood How would you feel if somebody Was making a doc that was beyond Just me being the incredible Incredible Highly achieved actor It became this personal thing

If they didn't want to go into it Highly achieved actor When it gets personal You start to see the intimacy You see yourself in moments that you forgot about Because they're being filmed on screen It's a vulnerable position I made the movie out of love

At the end of the day They know that The movie has gone on What else do you want to hype Before we... The only thing I want to hype is the New York Knicks I want to hype the giants We've got a little mid-season fumble

We've got a movie coming out April 5th Sandra Bullock Bill Burr is incredible He's funny, he's good And a red beard There's going to be... Bill Burr is going to be doing his thing

It's a funny movie I'm really psyched that you came on this I'm glad to do it We might have to have you on again to talk shit When the Patriots finally beat your ass We've got to go We'll do a thing for the heat It'll be after the football season

It'll be going into the playoffs For basketball and baseball We'll do it I'm always a pessimist I hate our defense I hate our secondary for the Patriots I think the best thing we have going for our secondary Is our fucking running game

Because it keeps them off the goddamn field So you know your shit I'm going to tell you this right now They're not wild card right? No Broncos are going to win that division We're going to win our second round I just feel like Because Belichick knows how to get into

Peyton's head I just don't believe In our defense When we played the Broncos earlier this year Peyton had only been with them for 60 days Now he's gelling with them And he's going to have another 120 days He's something else

200-300 days in He's something else And I'm so glad that he came back Because who would have wanted him to end You know what I ended up realizing That I never really hated Peyton Manning What I really fucking hated was the disrespect That they weren't giving Brady his fucking due

It's a long fucking argument And at the end of it There's no way as a football fan you can't love that guy But I think that that defense is good enough With Brady and Belichick he can never count us out But that's going to be a brutal game But what about Gronkowski? I love Gronkowski, by the way

Yeah, I don't know, it's what he break his form I guarantee you he'll be there I love him I love Gronkowski He's good Brady the Welker, if he caught that fucking ball You're not wearing that giant Did you talk about that little loop that barely

Come on, man Listen, you lost the game We fucking cut your throats and blood spilled twice First time it happened You came back, you got surgery And then we slid him again You left us on lights to fall We gotta play you again

We gotta play you guys again Alright, Michael, thank you so much for coming on, man You're fucking awesome, I appreciate it That was really good I still know you Look into my private eyes They're watching you They see your every move