Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 12-22-22 w/ PETER BILLINGSLEY

Episode Date: December 23, 2022

Bill rambles with Peter Billingsley about his new film 'A CHRISTMAS STORY CHRISTMAS', video game addiction, and working on 'F IS FOR FAMILY'. A CHRISTMAS STORY CHRISTMAS is available on HBO MAX and available to rent. Thursday Afternoon Podcast: (00:00 -  49:45) Thursday Afternoon Throwback: (50:00 - 01:54:05) (12-22-14) Bill rambles about Sony leaks, autorotations, and building a Christmas Tree. Anything Better NFL Preview: (01:54:10 - end) Thursday Interlude: Flight's Delayed - Andrew Themeles

Alright, hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday Monday morning podcast And I'm just checking in on you and you know if I have the video on that means that I have a guest This guy's an absolute legend Not only was he the star of the original Christmas story. He also was one of the many driving forces behind Ephesra family Throughout the years when we did that show I became great friends with this guy and And he is here now with us the one and only Peter Billingsley

Man, maybe the greatest introduction I've ever gotten. Thank you, Bill. I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm here I'm here at ballies that just became the horseshoe What are you in Las Vegas? I met up with some of my high school buddies. What's it that fucking Raiders game yesterday? Well, you did you were live? Oh my god Yeah The biggest problem I had was them going that defense that they used to give them the opportunity to get there But that shit at the end that was just keystone cop stuff, but it was hilarious. Yeah Of course, somebody's giving me a fucking call in an hour

All right, well, let me talk about let's get down to what you're here for you are here to promote A Movie that is doing outstanding. You don't even really even need me, but I just wanted that hang out You're gonna say hi first and foremost here to spend a little time with my guy. That's right That's right. You used to live right down the street for me. No more Christmas story to is out right now The way to Zori a Christmas story Christmas not to what a fuck does it say to up there? It's a Christmas story Christmas the long awaited follow-up to the Enduring favorite that fans everywhere keep on their annual must-watch list

It's finally arriving just in time to kick off the holiday season This heartwarming and humor-filled next chapter in Richie Parker's tale finds him grown with his own family Determined to create an unforgettable Christmas for his kids because that's what you do as a dad And of course as is tradition in the Parker household despite dad's best efforts to make those spirits bright Things go comically awry in hijinks ensue in this endearing relatable slice of family life, um, I've never heard that blurb before Yeah, you know, it's a movie blurb. So they're that cat They're trying to get a they're basically saying there's no full frontal nudity in that. Yeah

This is a family-friendly one unlike the show. We did this one's family friendly. Yeah, I do think it's interesting though When you did the first one that you were a kid and now you get to literally Play like the dad role and now you have two kids of your own I've only seen the trailer because I just been on the road and finishing up this other project I noticed in like the trailer like I just saw the trailer I really enjoyed your acting just in the trailer those little He's really like brown in this and you know, because I worked with you for like 78 years Totally and I just saw you as a producer go and build that doesn't track

And bill we can't say that rewriting Yeah, so then to actually watch you like acting and I was thinking like you you had so much to like Draw from with two young kids, you know, you wanted to make it, you know, perfect Yeah, I was looking up. I was trying to find if there's ever been Like this long of a kid character to an adult I mean, let on any kid character to an adult in a sequel and it's been 39 years. I Couldn't find anything Like the top gun of Christmas movies

Then Tom and at least he was a grown-up in the first one or kind of how did they get you? Signed on to this thing because I would just picture if they said hey, we're gonna do another one Your initial reaction would be like, oh god, you know, they're going back to the well What are we gonna do like no, of course? I mean, I've been developing this for about four years So I started working with the guys over at legendary Oh, okay. Oh, if you know Kale Boiter and those guys and Mary Perrin and Jay And obviously people have approached me for years and said, you know, oh, you should come back and do Ralph I mean, you're a good-looking guy Peter. I

It's more than that But it was never a great idea and so we just kind of started somewhat of how we worked, right? Like you had an idea and then you just sort of slowly build on the layers that you like about it And so it was you're right. It was starting with it be cool to look at Ralphie as a dad And was like well on the dad and it was this sort of thesis that we were around where when you're a kid You really want the perfect Christmas gift But when you're a parent you want Christmas to be perfect for your kid And it's sort of that gift right where you're devoted to that and then really this movie starts with the passing of the old man

so it's sort of mythic and moving into the patriarchy and You know Ralphie has to sort of step into that and so it's this call to action at an important point in his life It's done comedically but also has a lot of heart and so as we started building the pieces I got more excited about it and just felt like I wasn't going to move forward ultimately unless we had it right You know, we hired nick shank. Do you know nick? He's a great writer. He wrote written a lot of Clint Eastwood stuff He wrote grand terino the mule You know, we wanted to start with now his next thing is he does a Christmas story He's pretty versatile pretty versatile, but also like wanted to start with a guy who's got a little more grit, right?

He's from the Midwest. He's from Minnesota. So we started building these pieces And then I felt like all right, this is in a spot where it feels like we could pull the trigger and go with this thing Did you talk about a sequel that has They all have pressure all movies have pressure on them to succeed But this thing is borderline religious for people this movie, you know, it's so sacred So you don't want to do something that's going to shit on it or impact it negatively and so To give you a sports analogy, I would always say to everyone like yeah, you got to play offense, right? You got to go make something that's good be entertaining

You got to play defense too on this movie like you can't make decisions that negatively influence the first movie So did you uh, once you announced that it was going To happen Did you stay off social media because I was like even on social? Oh, yeah, the haters come out They always do they're like, oh, this is bullshit. I'm gonna screw this up. Yeah Cash grab Think of something else to do and I just said everybody said just wait, you know, it's fine. That's gonna start

Yeah, you got to go through these phases and release a trailer a lot of people gonna go this looks great You're gonna get that same. What are they doing? Oh, what is this? You know what they do that all the time every couple of years It seems they do a new Joker movie and some poor actor gets the part of the Joker and then it's just like, oh my god It's off and I just sit there going like if you ever sign on there's certain roles in Hollywood If you sign on to do them, it's just like you have to stay on social media right through the press And then years later acts asked did it do well? That's what I said. I said, you know what? Let's see where the dust settles in five years

You know the last one found a life of its own I'm not saying we're gonna do that, but it's just it's a christmas movie. They're gonna be perennials are gonna come back Just don't worry guys go make something that we all believe in and we'll check in in five years and see where things sit And so far so good. It's been a really I would say overwhelmingly positive response critically and from fans. They get what we did They appreciate what we did and no we weren't you you're never gonna be better than that movie and no one was trying to But it doesn't have to stop you from telling another story in the chapter

No, I feel like it's a different movie where it's um so you had like the all like You already went through being a kid in all your hopes Of getting that gift that you wanted and all of that And the ups and downs the stuff that disappointed you about christmas and how your parents were There's a lot of people, you know, they get older And they have like kids And the the the fucking pressure

Yes, that you put on yourself To be like, oh my god, what what if I screw this up? What if what if I I you know, what if my kids hate me? And think that I I say the wrong thing and I give them a complex to stop It's uh, it's a lot of uh a lot of pressure Especially if you had a dad and like in that movie who was a great dad and like got him You know in that original movie The dad's the only person in the movie. He doesn't ask for the gun and just to

Instinctively knew to get it for him. So it's like you got this great dad. That's like full of Great wisdom knowledge to be so it's like huge shoes to fill So we you know, definitely play with those tropes that I think are relatable and To ralfi and I agree certainly to me. I mean, I don't know what I'm doing with this christmas stuff I'm trying to figure it out Sometimes I'm like, you know what you you just default to your wife because they know what to do They just get a bunch of shit. That's the easiest. Yeah. Yeah, they decorate the house You stay out of the way, which is funny because then they'll get like upset that you're not like contributing

It's like, well, if I start talking that I'm just gonna upset you because I'm gonna be like here I don't think we need all this shit. I said just take some of his prep Take some of his toys off the shelf and rapidly, you know, we don't need to buy a bunch of new stuff Just wrap the ones he has and be like, oh, look at this. He's only one. He's not gonna know he's gonna get excited to pull And yeah, you know what I mean? You don't have to go buy all this new crap that sits on the shelves I know that's like a You know, my kids have a zillion relatives And they're always like get them stuff because they love my kids which is awesome

My kids get to feel all that love and everything but dude these kids they got more goddamn toys Then I had it in my life I know this year We're gonna like grab a bunch of stuff and try to donate it somewhere where you can give use toys to at least A get rid of the clutter but B try to teach that message like guys, we got to be grateful We have you got a lot more than most kids, right? What do you what's your stance on video games? Not yet I don't know my daughter's five. I mean selfishly. I want to start playing with her a little bit

You know It's like that's awesome. That's awesome. We're a little I think my wife knows the slippery slope it can go I mean, I know it too from You know living in my 20s single I I remember the dark slippery slope it can turn into For the morning sun watching the sun come up and it's just like dude. You got to go to bed one more one more And you can't stop

So I know it's tapped out. I tapped out grand theft auto three. I was up at like four in the fucking morning Or what had been metal of honor. It was one of those games I was like I was on stage doing stand-up and I was trying to figure out how to beat the next level And I came home And I started playing it and I couldn't get to sleep and I was sleeping till one and two in the afternoon Just feeling like a fucking loser, right? So I uh You know, I am not mechanically like electronically inclined I came home and I just unplugged fucking everything and wadded it up and I just stuck it in the back of the uh

The closet you haven't pulled it out since never Never used it again. Never played video games again. I mean, I can't imagine what video games are like now because uh One of my buddies patrice got me to this game siphon filter He goes, dude, you got to get to the level with the bridge man. The bridge is amazing So I you know, it's funny. It's to me. Those are all new games to me. Astro is Yeah, totally totally. Yeah I think it was like 50 attempts

What was the one where you had the plane that you had to fly it was like you This is so stupid. I'm like, this guy's a career criminal. He's doing great And now he gets here and he's got a fly radio control plane and it drove me nuts And I finally finally and it was before you could easily google like what's the hack You know, right and so you had to figure it out I mean, I guess that was part of the appeal and then I the the one that really put me over the edge was a game called the god The godfather Uh-huh another it was great. It was another thing like you had to move through

This thing, but it was set like in the gangster times in the 40s And I remember you're just gonna get lost in that It was too good 20 years ago. I remember when I was in grand theft auto I was trying to do something where you had to race this car around the city and then make it to the finish line And I didn't realize I kept stealing the wrong car. I kept stealing like that Chevy Nova Was like the flame throws and I needed to steal like the fucking Porsche And I got so good with that chevy nova that one time

They were shooting at me and I got all the way to the final stretch Of the finish line and the car started glowing like it was gonna be on fire and I just went like no And it blew up Right before and I went It was like three in the morning and I just went like I hate this goddamn Fucking motherfucking game right and then I had the two gay guys who live next door who were walking in I heard him fucking burst out laughing And I was like, oh my god, like what is

What is fucking Did you ever have a moment after Like driving that car the way you did where you got into your own car and you have to check yourself For a minute I would a hundred percent after like four or five in the morning And you're like, man, I gotta go to 7-Eleven and get like some water or some snacks or something And I'd get in and gun it and I was like, whoa, stop. You are not in the game anymore You're up on a slide. I'm already hit quicker. Hold on dude. Well

All right, we're really in rabbit hole But I'll show the last thing like how much I found myself getting too distracted By just like running around and then just like cracking someone and then keep running Yeah You and all the stupid stuff that you could do when the mission's got too hard. I would avoid it. Just go Wandering the police precincts You could go into the back of the jail cell there was one

And if you had a fully automatic weapon, they just keep coming around the corner Like there was all this stuff that I would there was where you could get you could get all the all the all the And then they would sit in all the weaponry and all the health because once those guys showed up in those black priest classics Before the army showed up and you were basically you were toast unless you had the cheats But once the army showed up you had to be able to shoot them and do the cheek to keep getting your life back Oh, yeah, good. I I remember one time coming out of my apartment after playing one of these those sniper games

Forever and I was just looking at people across the street like that Like I go on like this on all of their heads and I was like, I know all right You're like, uh, looks like yards wind a little from the northwest to click south. I got you, baby And just think no idea that you're thinking it I remember the chick I was seeing at the time came over When I was playing that game and when I fucking shot somebody the sound of it and the guy's head blowing up She actually burst it out laughing It was past and I was like

This is pretty bad, right? She's like, no, you know, you know, it's definitely graphic Guys will be guys So I think my uh, my daughter wants, uh Like, uh, nintendo switch or something like that. We're debating whether that's gonna happen and but I mean you can do like the Mario games like jumping ringing getting coins like you can start You don't have to start a grand theft auto, which I probably wouldn't advise I think I know but I free level games, you know, but I know it's a slippery slope But then you have to manage the time and then they want it and they get addicted to it. It's like tv even, you know

I don't know but you're cute. You know, it's funny in mainland china The majority of their tiktok summer was telling me is all science-based. That's because the government Um, sort of controls it or whatever because it left to their own devices. I'm sure mainland china would do the same stuff The ice bucket challenge and doing that fucking whatever that dance is Uh, you got your foot going too. Yeah. Yeah, so it's like, uh I don't know. I'm just gonna I think Where you were saying that you'll play with your kid Doing it, you know together that's a fun way to do it. I'm just gonna I have a buddy who plays like sports games

So Like as your son gets into sports, we'll do the FIFA soccer and stuff and they love it And they'll do the hoops games and it's fun. They can be on the same team and play and it seems like it's something They enjoy and maybe it doesn't have quite the addictive nature of Slapping around or sniping random humans on the street. Yeah, no violence or anything. Yeah, exactly it is so um Anyway, so when this movie came out, I got I have just

Question I have is when you did press for this thing um Like so much stuff with this business has changed. I remember a long time ago I went to a bar and one of the actors from the hangover was in there And he had this look of relief on his face and he had just done a world tour of promoting the final one Yeah, and I forget where they sent him but at one point he connected in the canary islands And this guy just was like he was like the best move. Yeah exhausted. So I know now you look at like zoom and stuff. You can just do it this way. Is it is it easier than say like, you know

Back in the day when you edit promoter film or something like that Someone is it's easier. I did I've always been an advocate of regional advertising. I know you are with your stand-up You used to tell me how you would you were an early adopter of going to foreign countries where netflix was going to go Right and build out of a local fan base and you can't deny that and I think even in your tour dates You hit yeah, you know, it's not just The 10 largest cities in america and so it was one of the things I said Warner Brothers when we were hatching the plan I said I want to do some of this regional approach which I used to do a ton as a kid because this movie is also like

About small town america and small towns Love this movie all across the country. You know, this is not Right, it's it's it's about kind of working-class folk Right that are working hard in cold weather climates trying to have a good life So I wanted to connect so I did some screenings and some cities flew around hit chicago they did um one in uh cleveland Um, of course, which is where we shot the first one

And so I did some traveling not on the international level and then yeah a lot of zooms The weird you know the weird thing if you done a junket in a while like the old press junkets where you would sit Yeah, they take it to a hotel Just so people watch their home They take you to a hotel and you sit down and just one person after another comes in and asks you a lot of the same questions That's right. And you and they would like each get a tape, right? So they put the tape in the camera. They record and they hand them the tape they and they leave Now they still take you to like a hotel room that they decorate, but it's all zoom

So you're just sitting in a room alone And I guess most people prefer it. I don't I like human interaction So I like being with someone and their kind of kooky personalities because they're different because there's a lot of local regional like The weather guy or the news guy and they get to do the entertainment thing I didn't it drives some people nuts, but I think it's funny But a lot of people showed up in their christmas story sweaters on zoom and stuff when we were doing the junket and things and Some people I think won't do that a bunny suit on. I mean, that's probably better over zoom If i'm being frank, it's like the separation

Circumstances good How do you handle somebody when they go there? And they just go like they're not there to interview you as much as they're there to try to piss you off And hopefully you'll say some wild shit And then they can get some looks, you know where uh I've seen like a there's a few people that you know I know and for whatever reason

They're like magnets for that shit And people will come in and just say really Really just disrespectful stuff and it's just like man. They're just trying to get they're just trying to get you Well, they'll do one of two things right to do the disrespectful thing or they'll try to pull out something in your movie that Is totally not true or why it's disrespectful to a certain group or something Which is a little more like passive aggressive, but I'll generally not answer their question with the talking point that I want So it's like they could say, you know What color is the sky and I'll just say, you know, what I really love about this movie is that it's relatable

And I think it really hit and I'll just oh you go bill clinton on it. I just I'm like, I'm not even gonna engage or to I've been around too long to know This is a great country Talking about other shit exactly. Did you insert yourself in that woman? I love america I did not It's kind of genius it works, you know, it's it's like I just can't believe no one ever goes. That's not the question I asked I've said i'm here to promote the movie Um and that but it's yeah

I've fortunately not been a huge target for that But it's like I look I love the interviews when they do take the bait And then you see an actor going, you know, what the hell are you asking me this for? My first instinct with that question Like you want to do that, but then I'm just like, oh man now we're going viral for the wrong reasons My first instinct when you said, you know, this part of the movie seemed to be offensive To this type of group and I would be like, oh good. That's what we were going for Yeah, you could also do that

We make polarizing movies. Not only were we making a christmas movie We wanted we wanted a group of people that would have spent money to go see it to be unbelievably offended by it Like uh, that that was that was a deal breaker in my contract that I had to The advantage we had Was that this one takes place in 1973? Because the original one was 40. So it's like 33 years later for rafi, right? So it's so fucking cool So think of all the great conversations that we had on epistra family about hey, we don't have to necessarily subscribe to the new comedy police

In 2020 19 when we were doing it. It's like it's back in 73 So not that we're an edgy movie, but it just kind of gives you that same freedom of like it's a different time Also, I love movies with no cell phones So from plot you could have someone leave like I leave twice I come home at like four in the morning And the wife's like, oh, it's late. It's like, yeah, it's like you can't get a hold anyone. There's a joke about There's a bar and like the the phone in the bar rings and the music shuts off and it gets really quiet the bartender's like Because the wives used to call the bar So it's fun to take advantage of the time period like that

um And so if your wife knows the number without having to look it up of the low You drink too much. Yeah, well, you're definitely drinking too much But that's what happens Do you know what one scene that they did I've seen it done, right? But it's really hard to do it Is when they show two people texting each other in a movie and then they got to show the text on the screen It's really hard to do that well to keep the momentum going and I at first I didn't like it

Then I was like, well, no, this is this is what people do now It's just people that make movies having necessarily figured out how to do it in a way that it doesn't slow the movie down I feel like the big thing is if the character you can do it in like a suspenseful time Of a movie and if the character's still movie look looking for something and texting like that I feel like yeah the momentum is is is kept By like the action I guess I don't know but it's a really uh I don't know like I don't mind it now

I think you're right. It's a convention because it's like it's so much how we communicate you have to deal with it I was grateful not to deal with any of that stuff because it is kind of a pain in the ass That people like why didn't you why why didn't you just text them if he was out or why didn't you just call? It's like you don't want to hear any of that stuff You know what's funny about older movies. I watched uh thief james con Oh, yeah One of one of the tropes back that I don't know who's tropes, but if you wanted to show

Like the gangster was being tough. They always said wildly racist shit like in the movie Like let me tell you something potato face if you don't stop fucking around all that poor police He walks at this fucking door then you can shake a fucking queer at and it's just like ah damn Like they have like fucking They just like it was this guy, uh Hey, are you threatening that he was gonna if he didn't do what he's gonna do He's gonna put his wife out on the street

To get fucked in the ass like black people, but he didn't say it like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah And you watch the movie like watching the cars and enjoying it Like oh what all right, I get it. This guy does not give a fuck. He's this guy's not to be messed with Message received sir You know what's funny? That was one of my favorite characters that still Just doesn't get a lot of love is do you remember Johnny dangerously with Joe Piscopo? Yeah, totally. Yeah. Remember roman moroni Yeah, he was the guy. He was the immigrant who cursed his brains out Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, all the curses. Yes, and you'd be like, let me tell you fargan. I saw something

I'm gonna have your bells in the sling And then the other guy would be like Jesus the mouth on that guy You fargan bastard way of doing it Yeah, and he gets deported claims. He's not from there like that roman moroni was one of my that that movie Michael Keaton all of that. It's just so It's good Yeah, definitely definitely, um underrated. So I gotta ask some car questions here, dude If you got it, if you got a movie that takes place in the 70s, um, what's uh

What's Ralphie as an adult? What's his car? um Pontiac And um He draw so his dad was a Pontiac man Right So when the first one he drove a Pontiac the dad did yeah, and Ralph see um Plymouth guy

We have So we shot the movie in Bulgaria. Did you know that? No, but I imagine you saved a shitload of money if you went all the way over there and we could build a lot of stuff We built 11 houses. We built like Ralphie's like the parker house the bumpers house next door and 11 houses on that street The great thing about being there was you could build We built we've literally built the entire neighborhood and I mean built it like for real like real structures With windows and doors. It was amazing. So how'd you get the cars over there? They had all these classic cars because they're starting to do a lot of movies

And I think they're doing different like action movies and stuff and they're sourcing cars So they actually had some old A lot of old cars, which was awesome So I was shocked. I figured we'd have to get a ton of them But they had them half of them didn't run I mean, there was a lot of guys pushing jumping starving Yeah, but you kind of get a take and they'd coast through

But my Plymouth was what do you call it three on the Three in the column three in the tree Which was kind of cool. So I did a little driving lesson for that. It was originally orange. We we painted it to green And then there's there was one moment where I drive fast and then and and they really let me do it And I drove and I got the fishtail as I kind of popped out, which is cool. That's so much fun It helps all that stuff really helps put you into character too. Like the clothing we got to grow side sideburns Everyone did a you know, some you I was saying it was like the hockey playoffs You know when guys are forced to grow beers and it kind of exposes who can do it new kids

Yeah, I had I still haven't tied it but I had some decent sideburns because Ralph is Your grounded lead so he can't be crazy. But the guy who plays flick named scotch warts He got full muttons. It's pretty dope and he could grow them. So we had some Yeah, it was yeah, that's that well, that's that error. We used to talk about that on f is for family where a 25 year old guy looked like he was 43 Yeah, I don't I don't know what it was. It was something about the long hair and the facial hair And at this day I did long hair and then the chops and then the stash. Yeah, you just I mean you look like a man Young. Yeah, I don't I well, I remember too like being when you were a kid If I looked at a guy was 25 years old and he had that look and he was leaning against his car smoking a cigarette

I was like that guy knows everything Yeah, like I know everything about the fucking world. He's got it all figured out now. I look back I think about myself as 25 was like, oh my god. I was a kid. I didn't know a fucking thing Yeah, you're playing video games till four o'clock in the morning. It's like There's a lot of life out there. I hate to tell you this dude. That was actually my early 30s That's okay. It was even worse dude. It was it was playing in my 30s I know we were into madden a lot too. We'd get dude at one point we were so into We would play the college football game

Okay, and we had you know how you would play both sides of the ball We didn't you could get this remember the brick and you could put four controllers into it You had four controllers dude. So we had eight guys Dedicated offense dedicated defense and we had our same team and we would play against the computer And then I was a designated kicker. I was so obsessed that if they were driving I'd open the door and start stretching and kicking my foot Like I was a field goal kicker really warming And then I'd come in, you know and you get sitting it's like

You know to kick it. Yeah nail it and get the angle just right Um, but I was all that stuff that ended up in swingers, right? That was all when you guys were all living over there. We were doing it after yeah I mean that was the real stuff. They were doing hockey and swingers. We took it to Later to a crazy level. We were dedicated. My only job was a defensive lineman. I happened to kicker as well Vince played safety Then we had a linebacker and we had an interior alignment And that was the only four guys job the entire night and then you had offense the other four guys

We'd high five and switch like running off the field. It was nuts, dude Like it was crazy when they'd done It was like and if it was like for real it was like fantasy football before fantasy football On the video game like we were living as though we were defensive linemen and Running backs. It was fun. It was really fun. I mean that was sort of where we took it But that was fun because we make it like a dude's night We get some beer and some pizza and hang out and is everyone was getting over his eaters spend time together So we sort of centered it around that but it was fun

That's amazing. Who else is uh, who else is in the movie? All the kid cast comes back. So the kid so My brother and all the actual actors playing them, which was phenomenal. Which is another reason Like another sort of box. I wanted to check to to do this Um scuff focus the bully Grover dill his toadie Um flicking schwarz and randy all come back. How dude. How surreal was that the first day when you were under that? Beyond you guys. So we were finishing construction on those houses that I was saying and

Like they were putting the last coat of paint on a house And then the guys were starting to blow the snow on the trees for the next morning shooting and it was the evening And I looked around I'm like, oh my god, we're back and I called the guys They were in the hotel and I said you got to get down here right now just How'd your drivers drive you right now and they came down and got out of the car and looked and Just we all had this moment like man We're back like this world is recreated and we're in it and for them

You know, I had been working on it for a while But I asked them how they felt and they said it was shockingly more emotional Like they really kind of got a little overwhelmed in a good way with a lot of a lot of emotion you know the movie is such an interesting movie when it's kind of hits this sort of iconic status just how Embedded in a part of it All the people that are in it are

Sometimes you don't realize it. I think and it's just it repeats and there's fans and they've got a house that's you know, the original house is a museum and It's in you know, the library of congress and all these places You have this association that you almost don't Realize until you stop and think about it and I think for them to be back Was just a real powerful experience and it was cool for us to be together because we had not really been together as a posse I've seen all the guys In parts and pieces throughout the years

So it was it was really cool to be there and to be able to Just sort of bond in that memory and I think you really you really feel the friendships and the Connections it feels like kind of like when you go home, you know, it's about Ralphie going home He goes back to the old neighborhood and he lives in Chicago He lives in big city trying to make his bones and it's not going well for him um You feel that You know, and it was cool to to imagine. Okay. Where where where are these guys now 30 odd years later?

Where's flicking Schwartz personally that that's my favorite thing um About movies when they do that Even like when animal house ended and they said what people ended up doing like to me that was always like fascinating to me it was why I liked The back to the future trilogy Where I loved when like yes Yeah, like biff was like, you know, he made all this money, you know the sports gambling thing and like

and um You know the first one where you know, he switches it and then all of a sudden he's got the he had the cool Toyota pickup truck with the four-wheel drive and this family was actually like winners and stuff. I find um I don't know why because I am a sentimental person and then I also like, you know, I went to high school with like a bunch of You know cool people. So I had I had a genuinely like love for the people that I went to school with the grades above me and below me like there's just really a lot of cool people and uh You know when I run into them on the road Just hearing their stories. What's it doing?

And what they ended up now they have like kids like uh, I was didn't you know, houston recently and I ran into this kid Not kid anymore. We're both in our 50s, but this dude is Arguably one of the funniest fucking guys I haven't met He had me laughing so hard eighth grade went by in like three weeks I did terrible in school. All this dude just did was make me laugh So good and And to run into him all of those years later You know his kids are grown and all of that and he's like, you know settled into married life. Yeah

and um You know an adult in a mature thing, but every once in a while I just poked him a little bit got him going I saw that flickered his eye again. I'm like there he is. There he is. Yeah, that's the thing And I think sometimes those relationships you cement younger You know, they can carry when you remain friends and obviously life changed So it's it's fun to imagine where they are sometimes You know not as predictable as you might think and other times sort of like yeah That's probably where I would kind of imagine that kind of wound up to be so that was it's fun to kind of when you can create

those characters that When you just have a blank page and it's you know, and we involved them You know, once we kind of I had to bake we brought them over early and we rehearsed with them and kind of got their take And everyone was able to help sort of shape their stuff a little bit. So that was that was a very fun Process for me. I know it's going to be great because I've worked with you And when I tell people, you know the stereotype of hollywood is that everybody's just fucking, you know kicking it in a pool You know drinking a margarita like living Hoking a cigar all day. Yeah, like you got like all of this free time. It's like

I try to tell was like, dude, you don't understand like the people that are really doing well out there like the level It's not physical it's that brain shit like I remember the first time we went through an animatic We did epistra family and for those of you guys never did an animated show like that first season is so hard because you You don't know what the characters look like and it can't look like Any other animated shows so when you do an eyes like, okay, that's that's too much like scooby-doo and Johnny quested this so whatever And I was joking you have to almost come up with your own race of animated characters like, okay Yeah, we can't go yellow because everyone else is yellow

Right, you can't do the the cheesy animation because the south park guys have done that And but I remember we went through that first animatic Went through the whole fucking thing and it took with my ADD that three hours felt like I don't know what and we went through it again and then we looked at the the What was it the drawings and all of that so we put in like a 10 hour day and I'm thinking like all right Like let's get the fuck out of here and then you looked at me like no, we're gonna go through the animatic one more time Before and I kind of snapped I was like you guys out of your fucking mind and you guys all just stared at me like

No, this is what the process is and that's what I was sitting there going to myself like What the fuck did I just sign up for? Because my idea was like dude, I'm gonna do this animated show. I'm gonna come with a baseball hat and fucking Yada yada into a microphone and then just go fuck off and go have a couple of beers. I had no idea and I remember You Victoria like you guys just didn't you guys didn't wear out you're like a fighter in that fifth round You still had plenty of It's true. I think you have I mean, I don't know that's the only way I know how to do it um

I know how to make it excellent And you know But you give this shit too, you know, look you could have easily voiced and bounced and felt like all right We'll put it together and we'll see where it lands. But you cared I I remember our final night of season one when we had the color And it was another marathon night and we looked again and there was like played again And we were live time. We were able to tweak and edit right remember I think we were in wild west doing it. We had a little system

And you finally turned and said okay We're done And you said no matter what happens with the show I'm really proud of what we've done here And I knew that you felt that way and it was like because we didn't know like when you launched something You don't know if it's gonna get in the culture hit. You just don't know And you know, we had limited press Netflix was still new. We were I think one of the first 10 shows network It's just 2015

But you I saw you kind of release You were like, okay, it's done and it's ready to go and whatever happens happens And you felt that you were happy and I felt like in a lot of ways that was kind of In the early boxes of mission statements like you were putting a lot of your personal stuff out there So I think all of us collaborating you'd be like, look, this is, you know bill's vision. We want him to be happy We're gonna support and push After 10 hours. Yes a lot, but ultimately like It made us feel good

That you felt good in a way because it was sort of like that was part of the goal Well, now it obviously went on to do well and we had five seasons and it found an audience but I got one for you. I'm done Some fans sent in today. It was up in vancouver. I saw that He saw that on the freight train. Yeah listeners at home on the freight train some uh, some graffiti artists put uh, rosy And uh, frank murphy on the side of this freight train and that thing's going so good. Just canada Yes, yeah, I thought that was like that someone gave a shit enough like that's like

I wish people could understand Like what that feels like we were like in that room figuring out how to draw this thing and like, you know Seven eight years later somebody's painting on the side of a train. You're like the tattoos People send the tattoos like they're permanently putting these characters on their body. I mean, that's a pretty good compliment, right? Well, here's the thing, dude. I cannot wait to see this movie. I'm finally off the road. My tour is done and uh, I think you'll dig it dude. It's fine. I'm definitely gonna I mean obviously, dude I gotta I gotta support you everything you've done for me, but like when I saw the trailer I was going to go look at look at pita, man

He was he was a little he went behind the scenes and then you pop right back out and you know that must come right back It's the fifth christmas movie now that i've done Um when you throw in elf and then I did another one this year christmas with the cambells Um and the two christmas stories and four christmases All right, I was so nervous You were gonna say that you're the queen of christmas and I wanted to let you know that mariah carry has trade I can never take that mantle Yeah, and i'm certainly not the king. Don't say that she can sue you

Don't ever call yourself a queen in christmas Oh, wow. Well god bless her That's a title. I will gladly never refer to myself as You don't have to worry about that bill I'm not glad. I'm a little disappointed. I kind of was one of my goals to be the queen of christmas Yeah, can you imagine being the lawyer taking that phone call? Yeah, listen, I I want to be I have this idea to brand myself the queen of christmas

Okay, cool. Well, no, no, no. I want to trademark it. I don't want anybody else I am the queen of christmas Can you imagine having to be the guy to call the people to say you can't say that anymore? Like i'm so sorry To inform you to adults. They're gonna get on that phone that statement. I know and they're like it's christmas Like i'm just trying to have a nice christmas. I i'm sorry. You can no longer refer to that Other than this people out there trademarking their kids names Like nobody else can name your kid this fucking name. It's fucking. No, that's too much, dude

That's My thing is all I think about is the lawyers And it's just like then first they're probably when they hang up They laugh and then they go then they're looking at all their standard contracts for different situations And it's like, all right. We just got to look at this kid like he's the name of a movie Let's just take that contract Get rid of uh jaws three put them kids And I think we can get out of here by friday around midnight

Oh, it's so sad. No, I mean there's There's it gets to a point where it's exhausting because people have taken my license. I'll walk by a cookie store You know a bakery or something and I look down and it's my face on a freaking cookie in the window And part of you is tempted to go in and be like Man, come on, you know, and then another part of me is just like move on But I have some friends that'll go in and start yelling at the proprietor like you have to pay a license for that It'll be me I'm just like whatever starbucks and they put them all around the fucking country

You know I agree. I'm like, all right. It's fine. You know, if I walk in give me a cookie That's a deal We're done. It's easy. It's simple But it's you you do have to you do have to cut I mean, you do have to police it a little bit though because it can get out of hand people will start Um, I remember they started a beer It is kind of funny to pick up a cookie with your face on it and start shouting at another adult

As you're eating it slowly I have a touted on me walking by your bakery. Did you it's probably a good way to parent as well Like the parents are looking like, whoa I went I saw someone had started a beer And I had my face on a beer tap and it was something like, you know, Ralphie's suds or something I don't know what it was. It was some flavor of beer. I was like, oh, that's kind of clever But you have to mind a little bit. I also you even have to control that. I mean, you were a kid I mean, that's like

That's control in the sense that you still control your own likeness, right so that you do but All the crazy merchandising That this movie has ensued and all the products that they've made. I mean, right look at a movie. No one ever ever imagined Ever being able to do it You know, and just my favorite thing is when you used to tell stories about how they would show that movie A christmas story 24 hours straight on one channel and then they would say to you They'd only pay you for one playing going like, well, that was all just one playing and you're like, no, man

You paid it like 15 times I should get and they're like, well nobody wants 15 times in a row. It's like, well, did you get paid once for 24 hours of advertising? And you know, of course they did. Yeah every time you sold a commercial. Did you get a check sag has some rule? I think that if you play Something multiple times in the day you only pay reserves within a day. So that was a light bulb moment like Oh, so that's why they're running a marathon because it's basically free And all they do is collect all the different revenue I know but you know what they're faceless and you're not so the people we was just going

No, dude, you got it. You got to take the good with the bad. It was fun. I just had um I went through a bunch of these kind of old war stories. I Did you know I started a podcast? No, I didn't it's just I did that. I haven't been asked to do it. They are okay. It's because We're only six episodes in but we're profiling I'm classic christmas movies. So I hosted with nick shank and we kind of break down Like themes and why these movies resonate with us Um, and I did a christmas story and I had um

I had flick and schwarz and randion And it was kind of awesome because we were going back through All the remembrances of doing the original and a lot of stuff that I had forgotten because they're in the same boat like No one's really been financially So it's sort of like let's tell some war stories and remember Some kind of times we kind of broke down the flagpole but um I remember because I was just talking

To the cinematographer of home alone and he said that they kept Joe Pesci away from a collie colkin the director did To not let him get comfortable. So anytime they were in the scene Like he would be able to be scared, right? If you're hanging out in the trailer kind of dispels that now I remember people used to do that to me and bob clark did that with the bullies They had reminded me that he didn't really the director didn't really let us play On set with him. He wanted to keep them

Like super scary. So you get that kind of organic fright every time they come around Even a little staley cubrick Kind of oddly. Yes. Yeah, they was like Yeah, and trying to get reactions on camera. I love all that old stuff I remember I think I I think it was on that one when I had to cry I was pretty good at crying because I've done enough movies But every now and then some ad would try literally Because they would get frustrated if it was taking you a minute. They're like, look

I got this on good authority We just killed your dog How did you feel about that? Your dog is dead That's like first of all, I was like I ain't falling for that, you know, I mean The business side was two and a half. But I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like, it is so nuts You're so desperate to get a kid to cry that you would go there

Yeah, no those those were the days man You could abuse children those were the days when you could abuse children. Um, I'm going to go over to a coughing fit here if I don't Wrap this up here because I don't know what the I have that fucking RSVP whatever the fuck that virus is I think I did because I've been Well, I got tested for COVID. They don't have anything for that Yeah, you know I think it's a conspiracy man

anyway A christmas story christmas Is in theaters now with the great Peter billings league returning with most of the original cast they rebuilt the whole town, I mean, it's it's incredible And uh, I feel really lucky that I have a wife and two beautiful kids to bring it to and that it's a family friendly movie Um, I know my daughter's gonna love it. I think my son might be a little too young But uh, I think she's gonna love it gonna hit it this week And um, I'll give you my little review

Thank you, sir. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. All right. The great Peter billings league everybody go check out a christmas story christmas in theaters now Great for fun for all the family and the kids. All right. Thank you Oh Oh Hey, what's going on it's go burn. It's the monday morning podcast for monday december 22nd 2014 How's it going? Really? That's good

Um, that's it two one more monday. There's one more monday after this one all right We're down to our second to last time out here Before I do this podcast, right? Ah, man, I got nothing to talk about this week. You know why because all freckles Is on fucking vacation All right, I'm not doing shit I'm not doing it. I'm not doing for you. Don't want to fuck with baby

Because baby is on vacation You don't Why not? Okay, I should bitch. I'm gonna kill you um I have absolutely nothing to talk about because I've been in a fucking writers room and uh They had a lactic egg and I've been in the fucking bubble. I have no idea what's going on in the world right now Other than sony leaks everybody freaking out about sony leaks. Did you did you read any no?

I didn't read any of the fucking things. Why would I read that if somebody else's email you fucking weirdo Why don't you stand outside their window and rub your dick? You know You're a piece of shit if you read any of those fucking emails That's all i'm saying. Okay, because be honest with yourself if somebody stole your fucking all your shit You wouldn't be in trouble You wouldn't be a little nervous. You don't got a dick pic or a fucking or something You didn't look at something weird

All right, you didn't trash The fucking chick one cubicle over because you want to fuck her and she won't She starts saying she's a lesbian or she's frigid or some shit. You probably said it way worse than that right Now you're gonna hold these people you're gonna hold these people accountable these wonderful people over at sony That make movies for your snot-nosed fucking kids to watch so you can go into the other room and fucking steal a fucking 20 minutes of sleep

You know, maybe go walk out onto your balcony and fucking huff a little Smoke a little weed Why does that moment happen, huh? because of people like sony making movies about fucking stereotypical characters on rugs flying around the middle east right Talking planes and talking cars Fat people with no legs talking to computers

All those fucking movies It's because of people like them and what do you do you turn around you find out that their fucking emails are on the internet And what do you do you piece of shit? How do you repay them? For shutting your fucking snot-nosed kid up for two and a half fucking hours two hours, whatever Because of those wonderful people over at sony you can take you a dumbass kid that only you find cute Prop him up in front of the fucking tv and he can sit there goddamn catatonic You know, well, maybe you got time to go rub one out Or go pour yourself a fucking whiskey or maybe just have a couple of minutes to yourself and enjoy a piece of toast

How do you repay them? You immediately sit down in the fucking In your computer and you go and you read their fucking emails During the holiday season, how dare you? How dare you? Yeah, I could give a fuck about all of it. Um I don't understand why they pulled the fucking movie though Do you really think the al-qaeda was gonna do that shit? Let's just say they were behind 9 11. Who knows at this point, right?

That's like, you know Who came up with the fucking Grill cheese sandwich at this point everybody's claim responsibility. I was my it was my aunt harry She lived in wisconsin or some fucking bullshit, right? Everybody's claimed fucking responsibility. Everybody's been blamed for that from saddam to al-qaeda Do your buddy name fred down the fucking street? All right, so let's just say that these guys, you know These fucking 600 people on a jungle gym

A half world away did this shit. All right, let's just say they did it You're telling me that they're gonna go From knocking down buildings and and and fucking blowing up the pentagon to attack at a movie theater Doesn't that seem like anticlimactic? That's kind of like as a comedian you would start with your best joke And then it just fucking tapers off from there and then slowly you You're just like The crowd's just staring at you

I mean, I would think their next move would be something even bigger, right? You'd think right If murdering innocent people is an art you'd want to progress Like anybody else does a guitar player want to be worse than he was the day before I don't think he does We got more movie theaters than they have members in al-qaeda. I don't understand what the fucking problem is But what are they gonna do they're just gonna walk in They're gonna get all those fucking cunts over here. I guess they were just gonna do it to one I don't know. It just seemed like a pussy move

We just caved We fucking caved now what? No, what's the next thing they're gonna fucking threat? Oh, Jesus. Am I doing that argument? Oh, it's a slippery slope Let's see, you know, we can't read newspapers I don't give a really I don't really give a shit about any fucking story in the news Unless it's some local guy who did something heroic if it's it's somebody who saved a fucking animal or Uh, they're talking about what a piece of shit banks and insurance companies are other than that. I don't I don't care

I don't care. I don't mean the environment. I'm over the environment We're gonna destroy it you know People are gonna sit there and deny that we have any sort of effect on the climate of this fucking planet Whatever. Yeah, we why would we why would we we we live on land and we've ruined the oceans How could we ever affect the climate? There's over one trillion pieces of fucking plastic in the god damn ocean

We live on the land people how does that happen? Is there a shark fucking up your backyard? I don't think there is We're essentially the worst fucking thing on the planet and the coolest thing, you know what I mean? Because we have an inventions As far as I know no other animal on this planet has ever invented anything Not a fucking thing You know, we get all excited when you see your dog uses hands is like a pair of paws to hold a fucking bone Right

We can make a robot dog at this point you hear that Cleo you're obsolete Um Yeah, I don't know. I don't even know any anything what the fuck is going on But you know something the next time somebody's Account gets hacked. Why don't you have a little bit of empathy going like hey, you know, I wouldn't like that to happen to me And just leave him the fuck alone who gives a shit They're talking shit about different fucking people of course they are that's what people do. That's what everybody does Me and old jota rosa we get on the phone

Sometimes we'll call another fucking comedian and all three of us will just sit there First we start off. We trash each other and then the circle just gets bigger and bigger Start trashing other people we know and sometimes we're trashing somebody so well We actually call that person up because we don't want them to miss it Um anyways, who gives a fuck the sony leaks acting like somebody broke into the fucking pentagon um Anyways, this is the monday morning podcast. Uh I'm fucking psyched

I'm psyched but downstairs of my house is basically finished. They got a couple of knick-knack things at this point. I'm over We actually moved in to the downstairs area. Oh my god. I was gonna fucking I don't know what I was gonna do. I was gonna take a bucket of water and dump it over my wife's head the other day, right? She wants to move the fucking bed downstairs Okay, but the the workers still have to come here in the morning. They got to do a little touch-up paint They got to fucking fix this and that's a little off You know sand this thing down

And she's all hot to talk to get the goddamn bed downstairs All right, and I get it. I get I understand When a man pays for a house It's not his house. It's the woman's house. It's a giant doll house and they're gonna fucking decorate it And they already knew what they were gonna put in the fucking thing when they were like seven years old Okay, and I gave into that shit. I'm like, yeah, fine. Fine. Whatever, you know Go nuts go nuts because someday I'm gonna redo that fucking garage Okay, I want to redo that fucking garage. I'm gonna add a second floor to it

And I'm gonna only I will have keys to it and whenever I'm sick of you. I'm just gonna fucking go in there I'm sick of fucking dreaming about a house that has a garage that's separate from the house. I kind of have that In a way, I'll just build a fucking upstairs And I would just say you are not allowed up there You know, what do you think she's gonna do? Do you think she can actually leave it alone? She won't She won't so anyways, she wants to bring the bed downstairs It's the only bed we have in the fucking house Right, we had a guest bed

But it was out in the garage and the rain came down and fucked up the mattress So we don't have all we have is a box spring upstairs Whatever she gets the fucking people to put the goddamn bed there. So we go downstairs All right, both of us had gone out the night before we were out till 2 2 30 in the fucking morning Now we're sleeping downstairs and who shows up at 7 in the morning the fucking workers So now we got to get up We could have kept sleeping if we were upstairs. So we get up Right we get up

We walk upstairs And I'm not saying shit and we go upstairs and the only place to sleep is the fucking couch And she goes and she just fucking lays down right on the goddamn couch and immediately goes to sleep And I'm like, well, where the fuck am I supposed to sleep? She mumbled something and went back to sleep So I had to grab two cushions off the back of the couch walk in And fucking build like a mini bed on top of this fucking box spring and I went in there and I slept And oh was I in a fucking mood that day Jesus fucking Christ

You know, but my wife is the shit Or she's smart as smart as hell because afterwards when she asked me why I was being so snippy when I explained the scenario So she apologized and it was sincere and she really meant it So then I was just left with this fucking anger I had nothing to do with Right, so I just went over to my dog and I just put it in a headlock, right? I just started fucking squim kid um Anyways, let's read some fucking advertising here for this week

I bought my Christmas tree late Yeah, it went down there. It's pretty good though. The good people didn't have a bunch of Charlie Brown Christmas trees even though I like those ones I always feel bad for them or I just think the ornaments look better when there's less branches instead of that fucking Shrub shape like a ghost that most Christmas trees are I actually bought a Christmas tree that I'm taller than Just bought a little one

You know my truck's still in storage because those workers still have their shit in the garage Is this slowly fucking, you know, they're leaving my house the way we're leaving Afghanistan, you know one tank at a time and um I don't know so I usually just you know go out and get a full size fucking tree And I just throw it in the back of my truck and I drive down the street like I'm a man and I know how to fix things, you know But uh, this year all I had was the Prius. So what am I gonna do stick a giant fucking tree on there? I'm not just give me a Prius size Christmas tree I could actually bully my Christmas tree

I could walk up to it and take all the ornaments and it wouldn't do anything it just stare at the fucking floorboards It's kind of sad And then I went this is how later started got then I bought what was it called point city is those fucking red flowers Bought them at the grocery store. I bought the two last ones looking like a Bought me they're all shriveled up looking like a junkie just sort of nodding off Whatever And uh, that's it through some bulbs on it

Put those fucking flowers on either side of the fireplace and it's over It's Christmas time So I do it I'm sorry guys. I don't fucking have anything. You know what I have? I have some information for you the patrice o'neill benefit everybody Slowly but surely This benefit is gonna fuck it sell out This is always a bitch every goddamn year, you know hyping this thing around the holidays I'd love to get tickets, but I have to buy a scarf for my aunt

um All right patrice o'neill benefit the third annual patrice o'neill comedy benefit is wednesday february 11th 2015 at the at 7 p.m. At the city Center 131 west 55th street between 6th and 7th ab uh The lineup in alphabetical order ben bailey bill burr calling quinn david tell hannibal burris jim florenty jim norton michael chay and rich boss What the fuck else you got to get a show like that tickets can be purchased the following way following way online at

www.nycitycenter.org Or by calling 212 581 1212 makes a great fucking christmas gift and uh Really helps us do a wonderful thing for the great patrice o'neill um And whatever the box office window is 131 west 55th street between 6th and 7th ab And while i'm at it, um If you guys are fans of the rose bowl

And you live in the uh lorraine Is it lorraine ohio lorraine catholic What's the name of the school that jason lawhead went to uh rose bowl legend legend and grill master Jason lawhead is going to be performing a theater show. This is a very unique show in lorraine ohio and his hall of fame Uh high school basketball coach father is going to be opening up telling stories I don't think i've ever seen a father open up for his son

At a stand-up show much less a hall of fame basketball coach who's going to be telling stories and uh A couple years ago when we did that bus tour through the south He came along with us and they're just really one of the most amazing human beings i ever met Uh, I think that's december 27th. We'll have all that information if you want to go once again that that also makes a great Christmas gift there um, so I haven't been doing shit, you know what i do you know what i do whenever the downtime comes around again as i fucking um I get into cooking speaking of jason lawhead And last night for the first time ever i usually am a grill guy

In pork chops i always broiled them because that's how i learned How to make them when i was a kid you just broil them i'm just going to pause here and wait for all the food He's to be like oh my god, you don't broil them um I actually pan seared Pan seared he's fucking pork chops last night and they were fucking delicious browned them up on both sides In a skillet right and then i took the skillet and i stuck it in the oven at 400 degrees For like another five six minutes probably should have had it in there for seven

They were pretty thick And uh took those fuckers out And i had this magazine That taught you how to do a uh, it's called a butter bath I know i know i'm putting on weight here You just drop some butter into the skillet afterwards. You don't have to have it on heat. It's been in the fucking oven So it's already hot right you just drop it in there and you throw in some sage fresh sage time and uh some rosemary

a couple of fucking little garlic uh A little knuckles whatever the fuck you call those things And you let that once the bubble bubbles on the butter foam up you just spoon it up and you drop it on the fucking pork chop Forget it Don't fuck yourself Then you take the pork chop and whoever you cooked it for you slap them in the face with you say eat that Shit and don't wipe the grease off your face or i'll never cook for you again I'll tell you they'll sit there and eat that whole fucking thing with a smile on their face

And grease with rosemary in it right on the side of their face and they won't feel humiliated at all That's a true story That's what I did last night Um, let's let's let me just read some fucking advertisement before this whole goddamn podcast goes off the rails. Okay All right there. Um, what do we got here? I actually don't have this at my fingertips anymore because I had a fucking get a new operating system And then like the notes thing where I write my uh ideas or whatever. I have to sign up for some shit They want all this fucking information

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You know, I wanted to go buy some workout clothes for my wife So I went down to the Nike store and when I showed up the other day on a Saturday right before christmas There was a line of fucking people Out the store and i'm thinking like oh this has to be those sneaker heads, right this guy. They're reissuing Fucking patrick ewing's jockstrap And all these guys all in the fucking dope. I gotta get it, right? So I figure I could just walk all around her but I was stopped at a red light and I looked at everybody in line And it was all different aged people

Older people and shit and I was like oh my god. That's the line to get in the store That looks like somebody's not getting workout clothes And no that wasn't going to be the main gift. That was just one of those things, you know to fill out the area around the tree Sweatpants are great. It takes up space. They're easy to wrap All right. All right. Are you like that guys? I read those pretty good. I think I read those pretty fucking good All right, let's talk some fucking little bit of football this week Patriots jets good. Have you ever seen an ugly or win?

Good lord. That was an ugly fucking game Um, I actually think the jet should have won that game am I on my fucking mind And geno smith should not be blamed for both of those sacks the second one And he said height that was a guy in his face, but that the first one That took him out of field goal range to the point the guy had to kick it low And vince will fork a fucking 350 pound guy somehow blocked the field goal um I would blame him on that one, but I'll tell you who I wouldn't blame. I wouldn't blame rex ryan

I uh as much as I think that guy Uh has no class And then when he gets called on it he acts like a baby You know, he talks all kinds of shit And then when they lose he's like, you know people going to criticize his team, but they have no right to yeah They do they do you talked a bunch of shit and said you were going to win the whole thing And then you didn't you set yourself up for the criticism Um, but I still think he's a fucking great coach and I don't think that that's the problem with their team

When he had the players he got him to the afc afc Not the afc. He's the fucking afc championship game. Jesus bill even watched the sport But uh, sometimes they just make a change because they feel like it quiets the fan base They just fucking lop somebody's head off But I think that that would be a fucking mistake as much as I would I would love to see that guy I don't want to see him lose his job like maybe lose the jet's job and then go over to the NFC I don't fucking see that guy anymore

He drives me up the fucking wall like when brady threw that pick and then he's running on the field Fucking pumping his fist looking like some loser at the track Because his dog finally came in, you know I don't fucking know. I just he's yeah, I like the guy But he just you know, he talks all that shit and then when it's and then when he has a bad team He fucking clams up and acts like he learned a lesson Do you honestly think if rex ryan gets another loaded team? That he's not going to start talking shit again

Eating bunk cakes blowing out those stitches All right Let me blow me plow ahead here and then I'm I'm going to say my bill burrs super bowl pick Stand-up comedian never played organized football beyond the third grade Bill Burr His super bowl pick I'm taking seattle seahawks I'm taking I know that's not a bold pick, but I gotta tell you something

I've never been more wrong about a coach than p carroll. I remember p carroll He was with the patriots. He followed bill parcels. He comes in. He's the little pretty boys wearing dockers. They make a good play He goes, whoo I thought the guy was soft and then when he went to college and he won a chair He rebuilt the usc program doing what you do Got caught and ran out the back door when the wolves started coming around. I don't give a fuck He did what people do at division one to win and the guy fucking won and I was like He's a college coach. He's not a pro coach. Then he fucking goes to seattle. We're in a fuck with seattle

Yeah, we were the fuck with the seattle seahawks before p carroll Where were they? huh Nowhere It's a bunch of starbuck starbucks drinking douchebags wearing bergen stocks and those rain ponchos Just standing around in the rain They were all sad seattle's going nowhere. A lot of people don't realize this. That's why kurt koban killed himself

It wasn't the the fucking ulcer. It wasn't the demons He was just sick of rooting for the mariners and the seahawks So p carroll goes in there Where the fan base is literally suicidal And within five years they get a fucking super bowl. That's hard enough to do But the hardest fucking thing to do. I think as a kevin never coached at any fucking level I think the hardest fucking thing to do is after you win A championship is to come out the next year and get your team hungry again to do it again

You know That shit pat riley did Okay, the shit bill bellichick did like there's very few people that can motivate chuck knoll Did it twice To get them hungry again fucking seattle Like they're fucking defense. I I is I don't know what to say about like I I think

If they somehow obviously if they get fucking home field event, I just don't see anybody stopping them And I certainly think that the the super bowl champion is going to be coming out of the nfc And I got a feeling that the patriots we get home field All right, we got a chance to go to the super bowl again, but we don't have I mean anything can happen. All right. This is me just speaking logically when I watch both teams I don't think that we have a shot against those guys Um, but as a patriots fan I say fuck the seahawks

All right I I can't even say that. I mean, I don't know what the what what are we gonna do? What what the fuck do we got? You know We're doing well in the afc. I don't know why it always gets like this It always gets really unbalanced like the fucking in the beginning like the nfc won like the first I don't know how many fucking championships super bowls and then the afc went on this fucking run. We won like Well, shit, bill. You're a nerd. You should know It went stealers stealers raiders

49ers 1 1 1 and 81 82 was the redskins 83 was the Raiders And it was 49ers. Oh, it was the nfc that went on the run It's how it was and the bears

That's right. That's right. Then the nfc went on a run afc was on a run and then nfc went on a run Then it went afc now nfc again. I don't know why it always just gets like that. We seems like Like 60 or 70 percent of the nfl seasons either the afc championship or the nfc championship game everybody's going You know, who's kidding who this is the fucking super bowl And then the super bowl becomes a blowout all those fucking years. It was a blowout the broncos lost To the giants that was an all right one. Then they got smoked by the fucking Redskins after going up 14 to nothing

Then 49ers bangles was great and then broncos got raped Fucking raped. Oh and the pagers got raped by the bears before all that bullshit Super Bowl 20 and the fucking broncos got raped 55 to something by the 49ers Then a close game with the bills Giants won then the redskins handled the bills and then the bills got raped twice In a row by the fucking cowboys Then was it 49ers charges Jesus christ

It was like a bad pay-per-view fight, you know, um, I don't want to talking about I just think the seahawks are uh I think they're too good and that fucking wilson kid that guy is the next guy I think he's the next guy Even beyond uh, it might be andrula andrula in the afc even though he's having a fucking But last yesterday wasn't his fault. Jesus christ one guy drops a pass and they all fucking do it That cowboys colt's game remind me of the super bowl last year One bad play in the first series of downs and they never got it back. It's just all went up the fucking rails Fucking punch it through that pass. It looked like a robert parish foul shot right in the guy's hands that he fee looked like me out there

All right, what am I talking about here? Let's uh, Let's move on here. Let's get to some questions for this week. How far into the podcast are we 32 fucking minutes? Oh jay simpson, uh You know, I'm gonna go off the rails here And I'm gonna read one for my other account that I found actually found it I thought we didn't have enough questions this week. So occasionally I'll dip into my other fucking account here To see what we got Come on. Are you old ass fucking computer?

So fucking slow here. All right, dear billy castanza Um recently what is that jason, uh, alexander fucking? Because I'm bald and I yell Recently I was in boston for work and decided to visit a good old friend of mine from back in the day While I was visiting I happened to run into his younger sister who is my age. Nothing creepy. Oh In high school, I was the bad boy class clown. Ah, gee, what were you in grease fucking jerk off? I just pictured you in a leather jacket Um

I loved all those singing jerk offs like the people thought that they fucking built that car They were in the glee club All right, it's the burnouts the burnouts down the hall and fucking woodshop and the power mechanics They they could do something like that. Anyways, and she was the you know, I've never seen grease I've never seen it. Whenever I turn it on they're always racing in the in the la river And I think one time I saw the ending But uh Never seen it, but I've seen all of grease too

And when I saw it, I enjoyed it. Um, all right plowing ahead here in high school. I was the bad boy class clown, man You know me man. I was rebel Do you have a raccoon tail hanging from the antenna your car? They are fucking shifty And she was the nerdy anti-social flat-chested type I always knew she had a thing for me, but I was too busy chasing all the who was over there Well, bill it turns out she's become quite the young lady Since then master's degree great corporate gig a great rack and then he writes a great rack

And she happens to be single She insisted she show me you know, it's all fucking funny is the way guys look at women I wonder if women do that. They just don't Admit it, you know turns out, you know turns out, you know, he's got a strong jaw A great job A fucking fat pat, what a big wad, what would you say? A nice fucking Literally sitting here and fucking acting like I'm grabbing dick and balls right now trying to think of the fucking word

I don't know what the fuck they would say. Do you guys ever do that? Um anyways, well, it turns out she became quite the young lady blah blah blah and she happens to be single She insisted she show me around town all You know all the touristy shit. So we exchanged numbers Later that day when I got back to my hotel we started texting Now we no big deal just catch up now Just catching up. Okay. Hi, you been I was the family blah blah blah blah, then we start talking on the phone All right, and pretty soon you're dicks out

I thought what she had for me in high school was ancient history, but no the conversation soon took a turn and got Romantic and he writes oh jesus so we made plans to meet for the next day for lunch The next day hanging out with my buddy. I casually brought up if he would have a problem with me dating his sister He insisted he had no problem with it Hey, you know what dude? I thought you were a piece of shit There you go. All right, you Such a weird thing. I could never ask my friend. You mind if I date your sister

You mean what you mind if I if you're if you fuck my sister. Yeah, I do You better marry you son of a bitch So he's like, okay, great. So I take her to lunch We do all the touristy stuff then I took her back to her place while in the parking lot at her place She is getting out of my car And I go to give her a hug. Good night. This is when the hug turned into into a kiss Uh, she got back in my car and we made out really hardcore bill I was surprised at how aggressive she was being all nerdy as she was

Why do people think nerdy women don't have needs too? You know They're just a little introverted All you got to do is give them the green light You know open the fucking door um Blah blah blah blah What the hell was I I was surprised how aggressive she was she asked um

I was surprised how aggressive she was being all nerdy as she was but there was something oddly sexy about it She asked to To ditch her place and go back to my hotel. Oh fuck. Jesus Christ, dude Jesus So I say okay cool on the way there. I started having second thoughts. I thought things might be moving too fast I know I know what a pussy No, dude. It's actually a very fucking To mature choice there

If you got other women that you're just banging this is this is not somebody you can just discard this is your friend's Sister he's gonna run into her again. You gotta go easy on this one. It's a fucking ticking time bomb So anyways, we go back to my room nothing happened I cooled it off intentionally. We had a few drinks talked joked around while she's laid on my bed This is when I noticed that she laughed exactly like my buddy her brother. Oh, no The more she laughed the more it's bothering me Needless to say that was the end of the night I'll make out session and a few drinks and some laughs. So here's my question bill

I think this girl is perfect for me. She's smart educated gorgeous girl. But how can I get over that laugh? All I could do was picture her brother and nothing kills the mood more than That for me. Am I being a dick for thinking about passing up this girl or is there something here bill? Thanks and go fuck yourself um I don't know if there's something there you got to tell me but as far as I as an outsider looking in yeah, you can't be with that girl You can end up fucking your friend Joking um

No, I know what you mean. I remember there was a buddy of mine I had and his sister looked exactly like him with long hair I mean, it was like it was uncanny how much they looked like each other and you know She was a nice person everything but it was it was my friend in drag And you know so much of a relationship keeping it going is if you can make each other laugh and if every time she fucking laughs You got to break up with one of the two. I don't know you break up with you. You can't be friends with him anymore You just got to be with her long enough that that laugh it becomes her laugh I don't know do you know what it really comes down to is is how freaked out you are by it

You know I mean every guy's had this you meet a girl in the bar and you're attracted to her and then she has the same name as your mother It's like over over It's over done deal Can't do it. Why what's the matter can't tell you Can't tell you see you later sweetheart See you later

You are trapped you're trampling on sacred ground there sweetheart Get it. What's your middle name? Because I want to dress you by your name when I say to get the fuck out of my face Um, I don't know what you do there, buddy. I mean if you actually feel like this There's something there beyond the fact that you want to just banger Which I don't think you have a problem Finding women to bang so maybe you do think of something about her. I don't know Uh, that's going to be your that would have to be your choice

um Just personally personally speaking I don't know if I met the girl that I thought was you know the one I'm supposed to be with And she laughed like my best friend Oh my god, there's seven billion people on the planet you can't find up some woman to fuck that doesn't laugh like your friend Oh, Jesus, you know, I'm not good at advice today That even sounded ignorant to me I could hear all the fucking women go. Oh god. He's so fucking stupid

um All right, let's go back to this one dear billy kistanza recently I was in Boston for work and I decided to visit a good old. Oh wait a minute. What the fuck is this? Oh, wait a minute. I could oh I copied and pasted it. I'm a dummy All right threats on your comedy dear bill if kim john ill Or the dictator of any country had a problem with your comedy and strongly suggested or threaten you to never do a particular bit Again, would you stop doing that bit? um not in the united states

I wouldn't not in canada not in an allied country, but you know If I went over to asia, I would be I'd be a little uh, I don't know But even if I was in china As far as I know they get along with korea pretty well don't they So they're not really looking at any shifty korean type of dude coming into town. I would be a little bit nervous I mean fucking that guy like feeds he fed his uncle

To to wild dogs The guy was like naked and just watched him fucking, you know Basically maul the guy to death and then eat him Yeah, I would definitely be fucking nervous Um, would I stop doing the bit? And now I don't think I would stop doing the bit Uh, but you know With these dates I have coming up going to like singapore and hong kong and shit like that

I would definitely be I would not do it in those countries You know The fuck am I chuck norris was his delta force. Yeah, I don't give a fuck, but I mean if you're basically saying I don't know. I don't know why they did that I guess I understand it on one level because god forbid what if some fucking copycat maniac actually went in and did something The amount of money that they would have got sued And who's kidding who they don't make the money that they make that they used to make in uh movies anymore because you guys all fucking steal them Um, so I don't think that they could handle, um

Putting out a fucking movie and then people get blown up or whatever gets shot up or some shit and then they have to pay all the All the relatives so I guess I understand it, but it's um You know what's weird is if Why do they make it public? You know what I mean like they they shouldn't have made the wiki leaks or any of that shit like They shouldn't even cover it on the news Because I would have never known like if they leaked them out

I never would have known I never would I wouldn't have fucking I would have had no idea the only reason why I knew Is because other people told me and I and the fucking news just you know Let's go about your business who gives a fuck So then when they're making these threats, uh, we're gonna gonna do this once they make the threat I guess yeah, you can't back down or that gives them power. So I guess I'd have to do the bit unless I'm over on their side of the world and I'm you know, I'm not saying shit You know

Fucking get kidnapped Have them do god knows what you know, I see what they do to the dolphins over there. What the fuck are they gonna do on me? Um, all right, christmas baking dear billy doe boy Uh, what's happening in the bar kitchen this year? Will you be baking one of your famous breads of pies should we expect any pictures on twitter of your creations? I actually sent out a picture of the uh The pan seared um

Pork chops technically if you bake, uh a bread your house becomes a gingerbread house. Hey now Oh jay-jay You know some of you guys are really funny and then other you guys you guys write like those jokes that used to see on the match game And everybody would fucking laugh like it was hilarious Charles Nelson Riley um I gotta be honest with you, uh Underrated pan searing a piece of meat It's fucking incredible

You pan seared that fucker and then you bake the bake it the rest of the way through in the oven You take it out give it a little butter bath go fuck yourself I got another uh recipe for uh, uh, how to pan sear a new york strip And if you ever told me that I was gonna put a fucking new york strip In a goddamn pan In sear it I would say get the fuck away from me. You're a communist I don't know what the fuck that means, but whatever I would say get the fuck away from me, but now after How unbelievable that pork chop tasted?

Juicy is goddamn hell um I'm all about it During the christmas break here. I'm gonna up my pan searing game here Um, you know, it was awesome as I went down to the local butcher. I've got a great fucking butcher in our neighborhood And um, I went over there and I put in the order for the fucking rose bowl. I'm so goddamn psyched this year we're doing uh We're doing some ribs

We got the burgers Lawhead's gonna make the fucking almonds. You know, it's funny. I actually texted law. I had a picture of the uh the pan seared pork chops that I had and I said that uh I texted him because he's like the fucking cook at the thing and I said just to let you know Your backup is taking some snapster in practice Like I'm breathing down his fucking neck I could never be a better cook than that guy. The guy's fucking unbelievable. But um, yeah, I'm gonna be making a pie this week

um I made some more pumpkin bread because it's a fucking joke to make now at this point I love it made it for two more people and I just I drive around la and I just dropping it off like a brick of weed and um Yeah, I like doing it in fact, you know what I might make a fucking pie today Just for the fuck of it just because I haven't made one I didn't make one over Thanksgiving because the fucking construction was going on I don't want I don't want to forget how to make the fucking pie crust now. Remember people you don't want to fully mix

All right, whatever you're shortening and everything with the flour You want to get it where it's just mixed where it's crumpled because then when you roll it out As you're rolling the fucking thing out in the crust that's when The rest of the mixing happens if you already have it fully mixed and then you roll it out You're gonna have a tough crust and that's one to grow on all right Christmas gift dilemma Hey, oh Billy boy, Billy boy, Billy boy, Billy boy. Wait, let me do the rest of the fucking advertising here real quick

I'll go fuck yourself You said verbatim. All right, what a douche I am. Um All right, I tell you about the lady I saw yelling at that person in the 7-eleven I know what happened. I walked in and this fucking lady was yelling at the 7-eleven guy, right? And I could tell by his energy. He was right Because he's just so got this sort of smile like all right lady. All right. All right, and she's fucking flipping out You don't touch me. You don't pull that out of my hand. He's like, all right And she's getting towards the door and she's cursing him out and everything and he goes, all right

Have a nice night. You have a nice night. She just goes bullshit Bullshit in your mouth Bullshit in your mouth. You didn't mean that I never heard it said that way Bullshit in your mouth Um, all right, christmas baking. All right, did I answer that one yet? Yeah, I did Um christmas, you know what I wanted I'm gonna do a fucking prime rib prime rib dinner

Popovers and some other fucking bullshit some sort of greens Fucking throw that down with a giant goblet of wine And just start snoring in the corner like I fucking accomplished something And that'd be a great way to do it Hey, you know what's you know, it's fucking uh, what are you doing cleo? Huh, come here Come here, buddy Be once in a while. You gotta pet your dog even though you're doing something else. Come here

What's going on, huh? What's up, buddy I'm gonna go for a hike later fucko. Hmm underrated scratching your dog On its neck under the collar Not if people forget this spot It's a funny shit ever the second you do it they extend their face and they have a look of satisfaction in their eyes You wish you could as a human being experience whatever the fuck it is that they're experiencing

Fucking dogs face right now. He's like oh All right, get out of here You shitting machine you Um, oh and I was done with the pork chop last night I went on to rinse the thing off because my dog is a sensitive stomach if there's any spices on it She fucking gets this gets the runs But uh rinse the whole fuck. Hey get over there and lay down. Hey, where you going? Back over there and lay down

Where you going all the doors are closed get over there and lay down Um Rinsed off the bone Actually, my wife did it. Why am I taking credit? She's the one who did it I didn't have the balls to because I was because I take her for a walk and I have to clean up the fucking shit show literally She's like no, I'll I'll wash it all off the fucking joy Of a dog when you give it a fucking bone. It's unbelievable

They fucking throw it down they walk around it tail wagon. They just can't fucking believe it. They're so goddamn So I give they give the same can of dog food Every goddamn night every morning and it won't sit down But it's just eating the same shit just to get that fucking break Unbelievable. All right. Sorry christmas gift dilemma Hey, oh billy boy my fiance and our big fans of your work. Well, thank you very much I am writing to ask you if you could tell him merry christmas for me on your podcast I don't have a lot of money to get him anything this year. No

Are you the fucking couple from uh the bon jovi song johnny used to work on the dog You just bet on stride. He's down all his luck. It's tough So tough Why the fuck was bon jovi sitting in the box With robert craft applauding a jet's loss. Isn't he from new jersey? We gotta hold on to what we got I own arena football and it's not so great Maybe if I hang out with barbie craft, I can buy the bills. I'll give it a shot. Sorry

Um, so you don't have a lot of money. Okay. I don't have any money Uh to get him anything this year because I am working hard and trying to make a living in theater He is incredibly supportive of my career and does everything he can to help me and make me happy this year I have been trying to think of something I could do that was special for him Uh, this is where you come in. I was wondering if you could take a few seconds on the podcast to say merry fucking christmas to drew from marcie Oh to drew from marcie. I thought marcie was the name of the town so fucking don't marcie what?

Uh, she loves you more than anything in the world and thinks every uh, thanks you for everything you have done for her She can't wait. All right, so Wait a minute. She loves you. I thought this is from This is from a dude. Merry christmas to drew from marcie I'm all fucking turned around here He is incredibly So marcie so you wrote he loves you she loves you. No, he loves me, right? I'm just gonna say what you said. Hey

merry fucking christmas drew your cunt I hope you have a 2015 that's uh, I don't know twinkle toes I hope you book something a bunch of jobs and you become famous and you have your own podcast and everything works out for you Stick with marcie. She seems like a wonderful woman. There you go. Did that warm you fucking hot? All right flying a billy bob. First of all love the special and can't wait for efforts for family Hey everybody, I gotta tell you guys, uh, what you guys have been doing up tweening and facebooking and talking about my special Um

Is is unbelievable the amount of new fans that I've gotten and all that type of shit. So I do not take that for granted Um, thank you to everybody who's been doing that. I really appreciate it Um, that is all anyways, um, and I can't wait for efforts for family. You know what neither can I? I did the last um records You know for the first six of them Uh, nia took this great picture too. I should I should tweet it out. But um,

I did uh We just had a fucking blast. It's the most fun fucking job I've ever had And I really think that this show is I'm going a little Rex Ryan here I think if we fucking if we don't drop the ball this thing is gonna be fucking hilarious Um Yeah, it's been it's been fucking ridiculous. Ah, fuck. I gotta wait a year. It's fucking brutal. Okay. I wish it was coming out tomorrow Anyway, secondly, congrats on the helicopter training I had a suspicion you were doing some kind of training or something because every time I hear you talk about the atmosphere and shit

You've started sounding less and less like an idiot That was my favorite part of ground school was the weather Uh, what is your favorite thing about flying? Uh, and you need to cross over to the dark side and get your fixed wing certificate for all you other people out there That's means to just fly an airplane. That's fixed wing as in the wing is fixed He's supposed to a helicopter. We're spinning around. Okay, and you go So I fly private jets and I'm a flight instructor out here in LA Let's get you and your wife in something you guys can travel in

Dude, I love the fact that you think that I could ever afford something like those things are like fucking zillion dollars Um now with your adhd and your Dix dyslexia. I'm sure you've botched reading this email. So go fuck yourself. Um That's uh, I don't know man. I would Fly in a jet that's got to be fucking unbelievable. Um, what do I like most about flying? Um I'll tell you yesterday was the first day I actually felt like one With the machine like I actually you know, it's kind of like When you have to stop thinking about driving and you can just sort of feel the car You know, you've just done it enough that you've just sort of fucking

It's like you're sharing the same brain. I finally I hadn't flown in a minute because I was all busy and um But I was thinking about it a lot as crazy as that sounds I was thinking about different scenarios and then the inputs, you know and uh I flew great. I my favorite, you know, my favorite fucking part about flying a helicopter is auto rotations Um, and when I get my license, I'm taking the advanced Auto rotation class where you got to take it all the way down to the ground and for those people don't know That's like if you had engine failure and like many people I also felt That if the engine failed on a helicopter you were fucked and you just fell out of the sky you don't

It's actually safer I think anyways then fixed wing because of the uh house Basically with the fixed wing, you know You have to the how fast you still have to be going when you land You know, and if you're not on a fucking road and it's a goddamn field and there's tree stumps there and shit That's why so many of those fucking fixed wing guys they get it on the fucking ground and they still die When they hit a fucking tree because that thing is not designed to hit anything. It's designed to fly

It's all weight and balance. So you're basically you're in a fucking golf cart And you fucking hit a tree It's 60 knots or whatever the fuck you got to be flying it. I don't know. I don't I don't know anything about fixed wing How fast you have to be going to still You know maintain lift or whatever, but it's terrifying. Where's a helicopter? Um, all right really quickly and I'm gonna sound like a moron. I know so basically, you know when you watch like a Rambo movie And they shoot out the the tail rotor And then the fucking helicopter starts spinning around

Okay, and then they fuck basically If you roll off the throttle Okay The engine is no longer turning the main rotor what's turning the main rotor is your your descent back down to the earth and the Fucking air rushing up through the rotor the main rotor Okay, you no longer need the tail rotor the tail rotor basically compensates for the fucking Like if your main rotor turns counterclockwise counterclockwise it wants to turn the ship clockwise So that's why you have the tail rotor

On the back on the side it's it's it's compensating for that torque so you can keep the fucking thing straight So you don't just spin around like a fucking top basically And if you see a helicopter that has two main rotors Basically, I guess it would be both like both giant rotors the reason why they don't need a tail rotors because one turns clockwise The other one turns counterclockwise Both offsetting the torque and it keeps it fucking straight. So basically if god forbid You had an engine failure all you do is you roll off the throttle

And the thing that I fly is you want to be going about 65 knots and that's the speed you want to keep it at And as your rpms come up you catch them you pull up power Which is the weirdest fucking thing because you think if you didn't want it to go up you push it down But you actually pull it up and you just fucking Just like that you fucking glide all the way down You pick up and you're doing trim airspeed rpm trim airspeed rpm trim air is doing that and then as the ground's coming out You know you're picking your spot as the ground comes up

Gentle laugh cyclic you go into a flare You basically stop in the air Push the cyclic forward and then you level Okay, and at that point and then you just drop 40 feet and you just drop To the ground and at right about 10 feet off the deck you pull the power Which is like pulling up the emergency brake and that last little bit of power slows you down you drop like a fucking daisy now I don't know how to do that yet. I can do it all the way down to the flare and that's my favorite fucking thing to do

And I've thought about that a zillion times on my couch Literally reenacting it and thinking it and believe it or not It actually helped you because I hadn't flown since November 5th and I went out and we did some autos And I had two of the best ones I ever did I forgot to look at the rpm's because I was so psyched that I was in trim and that I was at 65 knots and I was falling You know at the at descending I should say at the right rate of speed And uh, that's my favorite thing because it's all about what the fuck am I? I just want to have those things so down that I can actually enjoy

flying around so I would say that that was the most the most fun and another time I took out an r44 Which is the four passenger and I flew up Up the coast Right by lax out by the water and you got to be 150 feet off the ocean As you go through bravo airspace and you're looking at lax where you took off from a zillion fucking times It's just a different view And then you come back up on the other side and I made a right at the fucking

What the hell was it the uh The ferris wheel there at Santa Monica then I flew right up I just followed Santa Monica like you're driving down the road except you're in the air Went over all the houses and Beverly Hills Just kept going and going and going till I got out to fucking you know over where I live flew over my fucking house Flew around some more out to the valley then I flew over fucking Dodger stadium So the next time I do that flight I'm going to fly over fucking Dodger stadium and then over the Rose Bowl That's what I want to do and um

I don't know I don't I don't know about fixed wing I like fixed wing is fixed wing seems like if you want to go if I wanted to start flying myself to my gigs Which I don't because I'm not going to make any money the amount of money I'm to spend to fucking rent the plane and the jet fuel and all of that fucking shit I don't want to do that, but um What I like most about flying a helicopter is it's uh, it's truly like flying where you can just you can stop in the middle Of the air like a fucking hummingbird And you go out over the ocean you see porpoises and shit that looks like a fucking giant shark

And then you need to see a goddamn bunch of people surfing and you sit there from that bird's eye view going Yeah, that right there is why I don't go in the fucking ocean. Look at that thing. What the fuck is that thing? Swimming by itself Sharks of loners So anyways, um Yeah, I would say I could I could go on and on forever, um, I would like eventually to uh Who's getting who I'd like to have that fucking helicopter that the guy had in uh,

Magnum PI I would eventually love to have that in fact the next time I go to hawaii There's a helicopter tour that they take you up in one of those Huey 500 where the fucking thing is they got to paint it just like that And they'll take you over the fucking volcanoes and the waterfalls and all that and i'm dying to do that shit um But uh, yeah, I don't know. I thought I was too dumb to get through fucking Ground school. I still have to take the test and all that shit. That's what I would be knocking out here before I go to australia

And um, and then the second I get licensed. I'm immediately going to take the advanced auto rotation class where I have to Take it all the way to the flare and take it all the way down to the fucking ground Which they basically don't let you do because they don't want you beating the shit out of the helicopters Um, and you'd be surprised what those skids can take Especially with some of the fucking landings I've had I might as well talk about this shit one of the most fucked up things ever is the first time When they let you your solo just basically fly the traffic pattern around the airport you know

I think if you're a sane person you never think you're ready to do that But they kind of know when you're ready And then they just have you set the thing down. They go, all right. I'm stepping out fly the fucking pattern And you sit there and act like yeah, I got this shit and then you fly it and you can't believe what you know Like the second time I did it A fucking jet blue plane was landing and I had to hold over this building this hangar They called me out my fucking tail number and

Told me to hold and I did it I was like, uh It was weird. It was really weird like oh, I actually know how to do that I mean, I knew I knew how to do that, but I didn't know how I knew knew how I didn't know that I knew how to do that by myself And that's by the way what I call soloing flying by myself So anyways, um, what do I enjoy about it all of it? I love that as much it's as much fun as playing drums and doing stand-up. It's just another fun thing to do and

If you got the fucking time to do it, why wouldn't you go do it? So I did it was uh something um that kind of came about through freaking out about living in la and being in conspiracy theory and then I did that bit about the You know that guy committing suicide and jumping out of the helicopter And uh, I was already into helicopters, but I really was one of those things in my head. I just said that I I Couldn't do it like I I couldn't ever get through ground school. I couldn't I actually really enjoyed it

Um, some of it some of the shit, you know what the shit I fucking hate. I hate all that fucking You know all that fucking radio stuff and the fucking, you know Who do you contact if this happens and all that shit you basically need to know? I find that stuff really tedious but learning about weather And uh learning the markings all that shit around the airport was fucking interesting How the fucking thing flies actually to understand that now um Is pretty uh, it's pretty amazing and you guys remember me and me a fucking year ago. I didn't understand how a plane flew so, uh

Yeah If you think you can't do something you'd be fucking surprised. So there you go. That's kind of uplifting, isn't it? I hope it is. Um, anyways another year's gone by everybody. Thank you for everyone who's come up to my shows anybody who's hyped Anything that i'm doing, uh I got some shit for your fucking asses next year. I'm telling you Telling you I just made a pilot that I think of might go Could be a funny fucking show. I'm working on my new hour I got a sick ass fucking tour coming up of the south

And i'm thinking of maybe doing another red state tour and then hitting all the other ones. I got a fucking I'm gonna do some dates in boston my hometown. I haven't been there in a minute Good couple of years actually come in february. I haven't been there in a couple of years So it's going to be a big year for me next year And then of course I got efforts for family coming out At the end of the goddamn year and it kills me every week that I can't tell you anything more about it But I don't want to ruin it for you. It's going to be a fucking monster. I feel who knows Who knows uh, that's it everybody having merry christmas. Happy hunnica

Kwanzaa whatever the fuck it is you do Well, what's up everybody and welcome back to the anything better podcast NFL edition sponsored by bet mgm and this week holy shit We are previewing week number 16 man Can't believe there's only a couple more of these left. Uh, what a weird Weird fucking season. Uh, it has been and uh, unfortunately our comrade our partner Uh, the uh, the other the other half of this show is um is is down and out man not feeling well, right? Andrew we can't speak

Yeah, bill is uh bill is incapacitated. He's uh, he's You know, he's he's he had i'm not going to diagnose him, but he has he doesn't have cove But he has something that's been going around. He's been cough having coughing fits and uh, Dude, everybody I know is sick like when I tell you like people are missing events Um, my sister and brother-in-law actually now do have cove it. Um, but then my kids had the rsv The other thing Um bill has been sick and then you know as we as we speak bill is at a doctor's So for anybody out there

Bitchin about why bill doesn't have time to be on this Uh, he would much rather be uh on this. Uh, yeah, then uh, you know letting me step in for him So yeah guys bill would much rather be you know telling uh his picks to us and giving his Reasoning for nfl picks then having anybody asking where he was last week same thing. He was feeling okay Yeah, he was feeling yeah feel a little better. He went to the raiders get nice feeling worse. So just that's what it is So we'll uh, we got his picks guys enough with the fucking enough with the comments of like Hey, what the fuck you want to know what the fuck people get sick and they travel. Sorry. We're not all fucking home sitting around

People get sick. Sorry. So, you know, hey, I don't know why I'm defensive, but you know, hey fucking All takes is one comment, you know sets you up paul. It's what I know one comment Hey, what the fuck is going? I don't know somebody's fucking sick and and and has a coughing fits and can't speak All right, but anyway, we are here. Don't worry bill submitted his picks. Hey, he wasn't that sick. Okay Uh, he he was able to submit his picks. Andrew has bill's picks bill will go first this week Then I will go first. Um, what did bill go last week because I went one and three he went one and three as well So me and bill, uh, not the best time to to start to flail but look we got three weeks left We have 16 17 and 18 left

I went one and three bringing me to 28 31 and one which is two and a half games back with three weeks to go Now I can go back and get to like eight on eight below like I was or I surged back in the last week To have a triumphant type of Above 500 we shall see but first but first We got a shout out to sponsor. It's betmgm everybody. You guys know betmgm the best live lines out there In the game, okay? As you guys know If you team up with betmgm through anything better

All you have to do is download the betmgm app and use bonus code burr. That's b u r r It could not be more easy and once you put in burr burr with the code You will get access to amazing cool stuff deals Our parlay on monday night, which hey, you know, we're trying to figure it out. But um, all you have to do with that is You put as little as 10 dollars in the account and they will match up to a thousand dollars guys even if you lose Okay, they will match up to a thousand dollars in free bets Even if you lose so just go to the betmgm store. I'm sorry the app store Download the betmgm app use bonus code burr put as little as 10 bucks in and they will match up to

$1,000 In a free bet. So there you go. Uh, nothing to lose gamble responsibly. Uh, betmgm is the best And uh, here we go. We are going into week number 16 here Okay, which means wow, we have 12 more picks each for the year Okay, we are in striking distance Uh, we are in striking distance. I don't know andrew. I don't know who anybody is at the end of

I mean the carolina panthers. They start to seem like they turn a corner Okay, the jets their quarterback situation Nobody knows tom brady can't win a game all of a sudden or did he win that game? No He lost didn't he? I had them they well, they didn't cover. I know that. Yeah, no Yeah, tampa. I I don't know who tampa is. Uh, I don't know who any of these teams are The only constant in the league this year has been philadelphia eagles. It pains me to say But I got to tell you something. I got to tell you something everybody

That said my new york football giants were out They went into a red hot commanders building and when I say red hot the commanders have been Red hot Fighting back the commanders on their run beat the eagles. Let's not forget that The commanders gave the eagles a loss and then just kept kind of winning. We tied them in new york We had to beat them in washington and we did Um, we are knocking on the door of the playoffs. We will see what happened, but let's get into our picks And the books the books did the bucks lost last week to the bangles. That was the loss the bucks lost to the bangles

I mean the new england patriots instead of going over time. They decide to turn it into a circus throw the ball backwards I mean, that's something lord knows what bella check did in practice this week I don't know man. That is like put it this way when the new england patriot I'm gonna I'm gonna go back and take it when the bill bella check coach new england patriots Start throwing the ball backwards when it's a tie at the end of the game This is the weirdest nfl season that I have seen. I don't know what it's a wrap. It's a wrap on the patriots one year I'll be honest man, and I'm not just saying this. I'm kind of happy I'm only two and a half games back with everything that's gone on

The packers now can run the table. Are they gonna suck me back in? I don't know. I don't know but andrew I know that Uh Bill has the first pick so you have his first pick. So let's get into it Uh for bill's first pick. He is going with the bears Eight and a half In chicago against the 11 and three buffalo bills I don't know what buffalo's playing for see these are those weird times now

I think buffalo still has some stuff to do but like these are the weird weeks now where like is somebody gonna rest Is a star gonna play a little bit and if there's any kind of pain or tweaking i'm gonna sit down I like his pick though because he's getting eight and a half points So he's starting the game up and he's in chicago that could go either way Like that could be like chicago gets a garbage touchdown to cover at the end um all right, well here's

Here's what i'm gonna do i'm either gonna go down or i'm gonna go i'm either listen here's they i'm either gonna crash and burn Or i'm gonna go down swinging but i'm gonna set it off with tonight and i hate losing The the thursday night game because then you're like oh dude. I don't know what's gonna happen this week But i'm gonna tell you something trevor laurence and the jacksonville jaguars are on a streak right now Seems like trevor laurence has kind of turned some shit around i'm gonna take them tonight in new york against the jets

They are Two and a half point dogs Okay, the jaguars are two and a half point dogs, but they're just winning andrew what was the score of the jacksonville game last week? Because i know that they had to come back but I believe the jags came back and won Yeah, it was 40 to 34 The jags the jags won

Over who baby dalis Right now and i believe that was in dalis right no in jacksonville Oh, it was in jackson they were in dalis the week before for the uh texans game. Oh, that's right. That's right. Okay, so yeah, I like I like the jags tonight to come into new york They're two and a half point dogs, which to me is kind of like almost like a pickum I'm gonna take the jags getting two and a half tonight. I think that the jets are in disarray at quarterback They have a good defense, but I think trevor laurance might have turned the corner. We'll see what happens I like it

Bill's second pick. He is going with the tennessee titans He's three and a half. I mean he's been on the tennessee titans the way i was on the pack He can't let go with the tennessee titans. Who were they playing? The packers the titans are going up against. Sorry. I did the wrong week there. Uh, they're going up against the texans The one twelve and one texans And they're it's in tennessee three and a half points. Um Oh man, I mean look they should win that game by that gun to your head. You got to like that pick

You got a lot. You got it. You got it. You got to think that the tights is I don't think that the texans are gonna Show up with anything. Uh, we haven't seen well at this point the texans need to get their first round pick right that first pick Yeah, um, which they'll get even if they win All right, dude, this is a tough tough game, man This is a really really tough game Do I pick it's the cincinati bangles versus the patriots after the patriots And cincinati won last week, right

Did cincinati win last week? Ben yeah, yeah the bangles they beat they beat the bucks They beat the bucks on the road. They looked good um Oh my god minus three the patriots are the patriots done. Can you just I'm sorry. Can you just give me the patriots record? Uh Yeah, they are seven and seven Oh my god, this is because what did bella check say in that in that meeting?

I mean bella, are you guys out of your fucking you're playing fucking You guys are playing hot potato with a football first time first time There's only two times I've ever really had a problem with bella check one one was the packages that he ran Uh in the uh in the super bowl, uh where he didn't play his top cornerbacks. I don't want to get into that But anyways, he did say this week when they asked him why they didn't throw a hail mary. Did you hear what he said? No, it was It was too far It was too far

All right You know bill you're losing Oh my god, not in general, but that's a tough. That's a tough thing. That's a tough thing. It's just like Yeah, I'll make a fuck out of us, you know Make a fuck out of me bill. Come on Dude, this is tough man. This is actually this is the week. I'm gonna say this This is the toughest week that I've seen on paper only because of where teams are record wise and some of these games Are just

You know, uh are really really tough um I'm gonna take this is crazy, dude This is crazy. Forget the Cincinnati thing. Okay Forget the Cincinnati thing I'm gonna take the Green Bay Packers for the first time since I jumped off that train Okay, I know people are slapping their heads right now I'm just gonna say this I think

I think I like the reason I'm doing is because it's over three points. That's it Okay, I'm not saying the packers are gonna win the game I like the four points and I'm also also my thought processes You see how I have to explain myself to the fans listening because they're like no Verzi was he had therapy and he got better He got better. He went from all those games and he got better. He he was listening to reason Here's my thing I'm not back on the Patriot. I mean on the packers. I don't think they're gonna roar through and make some crazy historic run

I mean if they do god bless. I'm not saying that I'm saying the four points They could be down like 11 or 10 And then a garbage touchdown at the end to cover with the four. So that's my that's my rationale here Okay, does that make sense? Andrew can like Yeah, I I mean, it's it's not the craziest packers pick All right, it's not the craziest one Uh last week. I mean they beat the Rams, which I guess is not you know much to talk about but they

I don't even want to say it but like the run game looked pretty good, you know, right? That's what I mean like one like the run game looked good and and and and Miami Been okay against the run, you know past weeks. I don't know. I don't know No, that's that's a thing. I think I think that The slight hope that that organization has to still not be eliminated We'll make them run the ball play smarter, but I'm taking the four points Uh, I'm gonna take the four points and see like I said, I see them losing by like 10 late And then rogers throwing some touchdown that might not matter to fight back and show a little fight

So there you go. I got packers plus four I have to take a dog because I think I'm taking the rest favorites All right for bill's third pick. He's going with the detroit lions minus two and a half in carolina I mean It's one of those things where I think gun to your head. That's an easy pick But the way things are who knows but I like it. I guess I mean the lions seem to be roaring back No pun intended. They seem to be kind of you know

My son would go dad. That was so cringe worthy. Did you just say roaring ahead? I'd be like, hey, you know what son? I'm the one making money doing jokes Why why are the eagles dogs? That means people are resting because jaylin hurts That means because jaylin hurts is not playing And dalis needs to win that game. That's mine is I mean, but dalis is already in the playoffs So guess what everybody? Paulie's not touching that one. I'm not touching that one Five and a half over eagles five and a half over the the cowboys, you know, like that Eagles five and a half. No, you know what? Let's do it. Let's do it

I'm going to do the Cincinnati Bengals beating the Patriots, dude You know something the Patriots shouldn't be seven and seven. I know they probably got a ass reaming this week I think everybody thinks they're going to bounce back But you know something the Cincinnati Bengals are better. They're favored by three for a reason. They should win that game I'm going to take Cincinnati minus three over the Patriots to put the Patriots out of their misery I think that that freaking circus play was kind of a kill shot maybe for him Yeah Yeah, I think it's uh, I mean

I think so. Yeah, I mean Patriots like like we said about panthers like they're not going to come out and do something You haven't you don't think you've seen, you know um For bill's fourth pick The san francisco 49ers minus seven In san francisco against the washington commanders Okay, san francisco 49ers over the commanders commanders got to bounce back after the giants to have any shot I don't know that's

No You know what I was thinking about something before I was thinking about going head to head with bill on one of those but um The kansas city is clinched. See this is what sucks, dude. This is what sucks because these guys clinched Um, they almost got embarrassed though by the oh by the way all you people talking shit about um How's the pick look now

With the you know, you pick this, you know what kansas city shouldn't have went to overtime But they did win by six. They did win by six um I'ma take the kansas city chiefs chiefs by by ten at home against the seattle seahawks They almost lost they almost lost to the texans. They went to overtime with the texans They got to be pissed. I think seattle's finito. I think the chiefs just wiped it Just fucking blow him out because I think they're still playing for What the buy and home and home is that is that what it is? I don't know man

I don't want to touch the giants and vikings. So was that my fourth pick or third Oh, that was your fourth. Uh, you've got the jags the packers the bangles and the chiefs And to review bills. He's got the bears the titans the lions and the niners um Guys i'm gonna be honest with yeah, i'm gonna be honest with all you guys This is I can honestly say week 16 is probably the one week that i'm going like I could go four no I could go oh and four I could go two and two I go one and three three I don't I literally don't know I don't know but I would like to start with a w

I'd like to start with a w with the jags tonight uh probably one of the the The biggest games that I think of the week which happens to be segway the monday night special uh, that was the biggest games to not touch Is the colts and the chargers? The culture yeah, we're gonna get into that in a minute But that's the monday night special the colts and the chargers on monday night and and for the listeners Uh, do you had mentioned this last week a lot of saturday games?

So everybody should be uh, have a have a happy uh, happy saturday sunday Listen santa claus is coming early for real this year. Okay, cuz santa claus He may show up sunday morning, but saturday night. You got a lot of football to watch And guys look i'm not trying to i'm not trying to pat myself on the back here because they might not even get in the playoffs But the chargers my pick for the super bowl for the afc Justin herbert that throw down the sideline that he had the throw he had down the sideline that I was just like dude That kid could make any throw and that team should scare anybody with keenan allen Mike williams they have eckler. They have a good tight end

They have a good defense and justin herbert is healthy like I said the ribs are healed I like them for the monday night special I like them to win by five and beat the colts the colts I mean look guys, you can't be down. Let's just talk about this for a second andrew. I know this is just a pick thing, but You can't be down 33 to nothing Or or or I should say you can't be winning 33 to nothing in minnesota And lose that game like that. You can't be in

The third quarter halfway through the third quarter up 30 and fuck that up Okay, I think it goes to show a new coach like jeff saturday I think matt ryan should have never been passing. I would have run run milk clock Then try to dunk and try to get first downs and really try to but like the fact that he's lining up He's getting passes that could be picked off. I think it was uh It was tough man Like I I didn't feel bad for the colts But dude, and I'll tell you something when the did you watch the game andrew? I didn't know I just watched highlights

I didn't oh dude when the vikings went from like 36 to 7 to then 36 to 14 once they got to 21 I'm going dude. This is we're about to see some shit here And um, you can't let that happen. I think it's a combination of not being coached properly And you know just everything that's happened with the with them I think for the monday night special for me and you could talk me out of it. I don't know but I know I Think we have to go

I think we have to go charges to cover. I mean to to to beat them, right? I do in here and I'm gonna I I agree we could do money line if you don't want to uh, if you don't want a chance Uh going against the spread, but I I think the biggest thing just with the chargers The reason I think the chargers have struggled obviously their defense Even in the games they've won they've led up like 24 points The chargers haven't really been blowing anybody out there. They haven't had any like 14 point, you know 14 point difference wins Since like, you know, the beginning of the season middle of the season. I can be off by a game or two, but but um

The chargers are giving up a lot of points And in this case, I just but I just don't think that the colt I don't think the colts are gonna put up 24 against the the chargers. I just don't see it No, I haven't defensive problems, but not not that many. I think like you said that the coaching You know what I'm gonna do something right now do it I'm calling an audible right now as I'm thinking about this and I'm looking at this. I'm gonna call an audible I like it do it. I'm taking away my chief's bet Okay, I'm taking away my chief's minus 10 to the seahawks. I'm gonna take that away

and I'm gonna take And here's why it just hit me Herbert is healthy. Herbert's guys around him are healthy. Every reason I said they would win last week Okay, I think they're finally have their core at a great time of the season And should they beat the colts by five or more? Yes, they should so I'll take that logic So guys, I'm switching my picks. I hope you didn't turn it off and write down versi's picks I'm taking the los angeles chargers

minus four and a half Watch the chiefs blow out the seahawks. I feel like such a dick, you know But you know what as we're talking about it And we're taking them for the Monday night special And I'm listening to myself going like my mind going. Yeah, Herbert's ribs are healed just like I said last week and they won So I'm going to take that and um, and we'll take them with the Monday night special. You want to take the money line? Do my I would say just do money line. All right, so for the Monday night special. This is what I like you tell me For the Monday night special, here's two and then we'll do a fun one. Okay

So for the two, I think the chargers money line And justin herbert to throw one Okay, I think again, he's a slinger And I like that. We're not gonna do what we do at rogers the two by the way baker mayfield not running for fucking eight yards I mean, what is god? I mean not once I mean, this is the craziest year guys. He didn't even lose five yards I don't even think he got sacked. Yeah, I think he got yeah, dude We could have taken it the other way. I mean, I know he actually went backwards though more than he went for I mean

It was brutal All right, but I like this I like this We're gonna keep it simple because we got to get a Monday night. We got four or five of them last year We have zero this year and we're at week 16 Okay, but I will say this we did warn you guys if you want to go with our Money line picks or certain things and we have hit some of those We just haven't got the combination the parlay but this week This week will be different because the charges with the money line justin herbert to throw one now andrew

Let's give them some fun ones. What what do we got? Well, I mean, you know Do you want to play it safe across all three bets or you want to get because I mean the the Keenan allen I mean keen and allen over 70 yards or so over 70 receiving yards I mean, I think that's a good one. I think he's I certainly he's gonna score a touchdown What do we got for eckler? What do we got for eckler? Yeah, eckler is Over under for 50 50 rushing 45 receiving anytime touchdown. So I mean eckler is not a bad one

Keenan allen though, man. I just that feels safe feels like if You know Keenan keenan allen keenan allen for 70 Or even just an even just a touchdown even just a receiving touchdown All right, what are other ones? Let me see. I mean if if if if If herbert is likely to throw one keenan allen's probably likely to be on the receiving end of that All right, let's do it. Let's do it. But but I'll read them. I'll just be able. Uh, let's see. Uh, Mike williams over under 60 yards receiving

Over under five over under five receptions. I'm sorry keenan allen over under five receptions not rushing So if you think he's gonna get more Uh, more than five receptions. That's not a bad one. Um Zach moss rushing over under You want to do keenan allen anytime touchdown? Yeah, it feels safe. It's either that or five receptions because I mean Yeah, whatever you think paul whatever you think But all right, so hold on a second five receptions is safer than a touchdown

It is but I mean, what is his average, you know, five receptions is still because he could get too You know, yeah, I think let me check. Uh Yeah, um See if I can get that on keenan I don't want to bore anybody kill any time here looking up stats, but let's see. Um I Yeah, I don't know man I don't know. It's a tough one dude. Like I love I love the chargers to win and I love herbert to throw one

The question is And there every down back is eckler. We could do an eckler anytime touchdown Uh, yeah I mean, he's a running back, right Uh Or one of them like no, uh, well, he does both but no, uh, eclairs, uh, eclairs. Yeah, uh I mean, dude, if we lose this one If we lose this one, I mean, eclairs got 165

He's he's he's gotten the ball 165 times this year Divided by 15. I mean, yeah, it's you're right on that average um, yeah, um Echler ecler is their all-purpose guy. He's Echler is a runner. He gets the ball. He you know, they're gonna always run or try something with him first I think that's actually a really good idea. All right, so let's do that Echler anytime is probably better than keenan now because yeah, because if if they're within like five yards like they They might throw him one. Yeah, I don't know

Guys, we're taking a lot of time with this for you Just so you know, we're taking a lot of time with this for you But let's go chargers money line herbert to throw one And ecler to score an any anytime touchdown doesn't have to be rushing doesn't have to be receiving Just ecler to score a touchdown. There you go. That's someone and I special. It's chargers across the board. They're healthy They're rolling. I think the cults are reeling and um, I think that lost the cults comeback man to minnesota. I think that that's just that's a that's a tough one to swallow Going into week 16, especially when you're not in the mix of the playoffs. So there you have it

You have our picks. I also changed the pick. You have the change of the pick, correct? So we don't have okay um I can't believe bill laid off denver. I figured he was gonna he was gonna pick russell I figured he was gonna pick russell stover to throw one, you know The thing with bill is if it's not if it's not, you know, denver messing up russell's name It's the titans and he he stayed true to that they're true to one one out of one. Um, by the way guys We want to thank you guys so much for listening to the anything better podcast And we want to let you guys know that um, we appreciate you guys rate and reviewing it

You know, and I know the last couple with the bed mgm We're dealing with traveling and sickness and stuff like that, but we're gonna get back on the last couple of weeks Um, we also want to thank everybody who's jumped on the verzi effect, which is doing fantastic Please check that out and I had a big episode this week with mark norman. It's doing fantastic bill had a big guest on his podcast to Talk about a movie coming out so you could check out the monday morning podcast So thank you guys for listening to all of our podcasts subscribe go to the youtube channels. Um, we really really Appreciate that and guys. Thank you so much for buying tickets to my show

Andrew the kid is going to be doing a almost a 400 seat theater at the um royal theater in toronto tickets are going That's january 28th. It's going to be my first real tour date of 2023 Hit that up and then right after that the next week february 2nd and 3rd I'm at gotham at home new york city. That's a thursday and friday tickets are already going for that I want to sell those out and add shows and then fourth fourteenth of 14th of february, which is valentine's day. Bring your date and see me headline pittsburgh improv with my boy joe bartonik on the show pittsburgh zone Rest in peace to franco harris by the way

Terrible heard the guy was great. So rest in peace And thoughts and prayers with his family And uh, there you go all my other dates tampa coming up. Where else we going? We're going to providence rhod island. We're going to Utah, we're going to denver. We're going to austin texas. We're going to all these cool places chicago zanies all at paulversey.com um, and those are our picks guys, uh, again go to bedmgm the best lines out there download the app use bonus code burr You'll get the best live lines as they happen And we love working with them you put in as little as 10 dollars up to a thousand

They will match your bet even if you lose. How does it work? You download the app bedmgm You put in bonus code burr burr, and that's it and you click on the monday night special to get the parlay this week Chargers to win the game herbert to throw a touchdown and ecler anytime touchdown in the game and you will be in the money We'll be back on track. Hopefully me and bill are both back on track this week 500 or better Enjoy your holiday everybody. Happy safe one. Enjoy christmas. Enjoy the holidays New years we should we'll be back before new years though, right? We'll be back before new years We'll be back before the new years. So we'll do one more before 2023 For myself bill burr, andrew temlis. We're out of here. Enjoy