Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 6-6-24

Episode Date: June 6, 2024

Bill rambles about Denver, latte art, and 'today's climate'. (00:00) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast (31:44) - Thursday Afternoon Throwback 6-6-16 Bill rambles about dying your hair, sandwiches, and blue LAY-DEEZ. Thursday Afternoon Interlude:  Elvis Presley - American Trilogy (Live at MSG) Hims: Go to www.Hims.com/BURR to start your free online visit.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast and I'm just checking in on you. Ooh, just checking in to see how you're doing. Is that what I'm really doing or is I'm just acting like I'm checking in on you just so I can run my fucking yep for another 30 minutes. I think that's more what it is. But what I'm acting is like I'm doing it for you. Right? Isn't that what it is? I gotta tell you, I ran into two people. I'm in Denver, Colorado right now, home of dirty feet and man buns. The amount of guys out here that dress like broke women from fucking Tennessee during

the Dust Bowl is just fucking beyond me. Like the amount of men in fucking man sandals with an unkempt, like, you know, the man bun when like I get all the frizzies hanging out of it. And then they got like that, you know, I'm a mountain man fucking beard and they, like, you know, the man bun when, like, I get all the frizzies hanging out of it. And then they got like that, you know, I'm a mountain man fucking beard. And they're like, you're it's like you're in a fucking major city. I can get a nonstop flight from here to fucking London or Paris, wherever the fuck I want to go. What are you doing? What are you doing with this? This sea clamp fucking, you know, let's go start a fire with a knife and a rock bullshit?

Anyway. So I was FaceTiming with my kids and one of my favorite things to do when I go to Denver is I go down to that Union station there. You know, they redid it. It's a beautiful old station or whatever and so I went in there to film it and they're fucking the whole thing up they got like newer benches they had like older benches they got all look really cool last time I was in there now they fucked the whole thing up in there had this whole area in the

middle where people used to hang out I know they're gonna stick a bunch of shops and shit I don't know what they're doing but. I know they're gonna stick a bunch of shops and shit. I don't know what they're doing, but it looks like they're gonna fuck the whole thing up, right? Dude, I don't know what the cleaning lady. God damn, man, fucking sheets smell like shit. What the fuck? It's like she Febrezed it with body odor.

All right, Jesus, it's another thing I'm about to fucking deal with. Oh my God, you know that homeless smell? Okay, this pillow's gone. This one's in, this is good. All right, cool, there was one pillow. What the fuck happened to that thing? It's like a homeless guy held it between his knees. I'm dead.

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe He's a good one. Wow, that brought me back to fucking living in New York and going on the subway. You know, old Frankie never sang about that, did he? And the fucking homeless person, I want to wake up in a city that fucking reeks and have a homeless guy come up to me on the street. He smells like all the body odor in every gym in the country. Nobody's helping him. Cause we're too busy running on the fucking wheel. And if you can blame the libtards or the fucking red hats,

those corporate cunts will keep winning you dumb fox sorry um maybe if you went like fucking libtards fucking heavy oh my god these fucking red hats like the level of stupid that people are that they actually buy into that shit i know i talk about this all the time but it's it's still fucking happening And now the latest thing to do is to blame Russia or China Like that's why that's why Americans are all yelling at each other. It's not because they're fucking Most of them are acting like moths going to a light with these fucking goddamn air quote news channels It's the Russians and the Chinese.

You know what? And it, come on. They're what with their flim, flam horse shit. Like you can't tell what a bot is at that point. You're watching somebody fucking show you that, you know, I was today years old when I learned how to fucking open an avocado correctly and then someone in the comments will be like thanks Joe, bill biden's america And then people just ah they start arguing

It's like talking about avocados here The only thing fucking mushier than fucking guacamole is joe's brain laughing my ass up. Anyway plowing ahead So I'm out here right and I go into the train station. I'm filming. I'm all disappointed right? I got the camera so I'm on like FaceTime and I'm pointing up at the ceiling and this fucking fat broad goes to me she goes like oh god she goes please don't have that camera on please don't have that camera on around me you know like she's JLo or something is why just look at her and I'm like you know nothing gets JLo she's some fucking superstar and I just like I go I go what the fuck did I say to her? I just said like I

Go, no one's paying attention to you. I'm not filming you I want to be like my fucking cameras not big enough to capture you Did I'm in a public I mean I listen I understand what she's saying I actually thought about you think you know what I Should have been nicer to her. I should have been like I'm sorry., I'm just FaceTiming with my kids. They're into trains. But it is annoying. All right, I will give her that. But the way she came at me, you know, like with this Dolly Parton diva, ah, she can't go with Dolly either.

Why, she's a nice person, right? One of these, pick one of them. Who's the one that put her tongue on the donut? You know, like with that vibe. Oh, my God. Ariana Grande, does that reference work? I don't know. Who's the one that put her tongue on the doughnut? You know, like with that vibe. Ariana Grande? Does that reference work?

I don't know. Anyway, plowing ahead here. And then I was coming out of the hotel and there was this woman and she sees me and she goes, oh, she's by herself she goes can we get a picture and I'm looking around I'm going who's we and she points to like me and her going like we and I'm like oh I thought we said we had somebody else with you you kind of weird me out looking for somebody else like you had like an invisible friend or something she's like no, no, we, like, wait, we.

She has this chippy fucking attitude and this giant rock on her finger. And you know what's amazing about being old? I was just like, oh my God, I know this person. I know this person. I know exactly where this relationship ends up. Three years later, is you sitting alone on a bar stool going, why the fuck did it take me that long

to get out of that relationship? Can we get a picture? I don't know, am I nuts? I mean, it's can I get a picture? I'm not getting a picture, you're getting a picture. You're getting a picture with me. You say can I get a can we get a picture? I'm telling you I got major narcissist vibes At the very least never never like taking responsibility you know for like if

she's in the fucking wrong, I Gotta tell you guys if I can if I can really stress something, I've been like, you know, trying to figure out a lot of shit, you know, from when I was growing up. And I've gone down like this narcissism, you know, thing here, if you got like, if you had that in your upbringing, a narcissist, you know, you really have to like, I don't know, just to try and make it make sense. And basically, once you learn about a narcissist, you know, you really have to like, I don't know, just to try and make it

make sense. And basically, once you learn about a narcissist, the thing that you learn is like, it's never going to make sense. Like, that's the sense you make out of it. It's never going to make sense. So I just view those people like they're mentally ill. So I don't take it personally, because like the old me, I would have gone on stage, I would have gone off on her or whatever. His thing too, his other thing too, the flying the ointment, I could be 100% wrong. You guys might be listening right now going like, Bill, you're wronger, you're more wronger,

you're more wrong about this than you were about stealing home court advantage. They stole home court advantage, I'm never going to shut up about that. CNN, Fox News, corporate greed and stealing home court advantage. That's what I'm focusing on right now. But you know, I used to fucking trash broads all the time. So I feel like, you know, I'm doing better with that thing. I actually think the home court advantage, I can't tell if it's just like a 24 hour news network thing, sports news thing, where it's like,

we gotta add urgency to the NBA finals. And nobody had the balls to be like, they're the finals, the urgency is there. We need to add more. Every quarter there needs to be more urgency so our stockholders don't get upset. And there's another part of me that thinks it just comes from the owners where it's like we need to treat the fans like hot chicks. Like we have to act like just for the fact that they just did something amazing just because they showed up

You know I saw this fucking stana when I was at the airport Um She was wearing a onesie fucking black thing with these white cowboy boots and a white cowboy hat. You know, looking like she was in an awful hair metal video from back in the day and she had super long legs. And whenever she would go to get up, it was fucking hilarious. She wouldn't just uncross her legs. She'd take the top one and stick it like straight out and then come all the way up and around. It's like a fucking show.

With those village people, white cowboy boots against this fucking all black leotard. And I mean, she was gorgeous. I was happy for the guy, but I was just thinking like, man, when the looks go and that big fucking high leg kick is still in that personality that is that's gonna be a new animal Yeah, you know, I mean you're hanging in why wouldn't she's gorgeous hang in there, but I'm telling you The personality doesn't develop. She doesn't, you gotta be, I'm telling you, if you really marry a smoking hot chick,

you gotta hope somewhere, I would say around 50 at this point, like, you know, if you really work out and take care of yourself with all the knowledge and shit that's out there and the extra accoutrements and everything, like, I don't think, like, you know, you can look great right until you're like your 50s. You know, if you're me, I hung in there till about 35, but like, if you're a chick, I know you can look great and right into you like your 50s you know if you mean I hung in there till about 35 but like if you're a chick I think you can hang there to like 50 but after that if you're married to a hot

you better hope she gets a gets like a hobby you know what I mean Jesus I'm trying to think what's a hobby that women are into. Brunch, is that a hobby? Come on now, come on Bill, they gotta have something. Oh, you know what I was watching the other night? Speaking of women, I was flipping through the channels. I go on ESPN and like, I don't know what's going on in the world of women's softball, but there's like 48 games on ESPN one, two, and three.

I'm just like, whatever happened, Australian rules football. You know what I mean? I get it. You're sported. You're supporting women's fucking Athletics I Think that's a huge fucking mistake on ESPN's part It really is their only hope is that men are gonna watch it because women just I don't know they just don't they're not into watching Amazing female athletes, which is weird to me because I watched except for like I think they like get into like gymnastics and shit but I don't think that they're into like doesn't seem maybe they will because

like I don't know it's a weird thing look I'm wrong about most shit I mean it would be cool if uh mean, it would be cool if, you know what would be cool is if all those women's sports leagues blew up, you know? Because women were watching them. You know, that would be fantastic. And just see if they were strong enough as people to actually go off and do something by themselves. Ha ha ha.

Without involving us. Wouldn't that be fucking amazing oh I'm getting them I'm getting I'm going today anyway the NBA finals start tonight Stanley Cup final I don't know if it started last night. I was traveling yesterday. I like both teams. I like the Panthers and the Edmonton Oilers. Canada hasn't won a cup in over 30 years, so, you know. Even though the Edmonton Oilers back in the day beat my Bruins in 87 and 90, I'm over it at this point. So, I think I'm gonna vote for Edmonton.

Cause I didn't like how that Bennett guy punched fucking Marshawn in the head and we didn't do anything to him. Like someone should have beat the fuck out of him. That's something I hope we address. That's needed to be addressed. But I know it wasn't dirty because it wasn't a Boston team.

So he just plays on the edge. I believe that's how it works. But if you do it in Boston, it's immediately called cheating. Anyway, what else? Yeah, so that games tonight, I'll be on stage. So I'm going to be missing an hour and 15 minutes of you know in real time in NBA time with halftime and all the bullshit I'll probably miss a couple of quarters so I'll probably see the first quarter in the fourth quarter and

we shall see what's happening but I hope Dallas doesn't win tonight because not only would be be down one game to, they would steal home court advantage. I mean, after four games, do we get it back if it's two, two? Cause then there's, it's essentially a three game series. And then there's game five and seven in our building. Did we somehow get it back? Did we steal it back? Can you steal something that was yours back? Is it then called the recovered home court advantage?

Is it painted a different color because Dallas didn't want to get caught? Anyway, plowing ahead here. Yes, oh, Billy, Billy stand up special. I am gearing up here, getting ready to do my special. I did not like my set last night. I thought I was a little grouchier than I needed to be. So I gotta work on that.

But I am psyched to be out here. I think last time I was out here was the last time I did a special. Did one out at Red Rock. So. Oh yeah, that's right. And I was coming from St. Louis.

Ah, the memories of telling jokes three years ago. Standing outside in fucking Red Rocks. with some smelly feet. Anyway, Billy Health Kick. Billy Health Kick. I've been fucking eating right, working out, taking my Geritol, you know. know, at a breakfast bowl this morning with with an egg that was allegedly raised, crate free. Chicken was allowed to fucking run around and get banged by a fucking rooster and have a when they lay eggs, is that like their period? You

know, because they're getting rid of the egg and are they You know, because they're getting rid of the egg and are they fucking grouchier at that time? How come women don't lay eggs? That's the most fucked up thought I ever had. Uh... Sorry. That is just bizarre. Um, alright. Anyway, there's a couple of drum shops out here I'm thinking of going to. I don't know what I'm doing right now.

I'm just fucking, I think I'm just freaking out that I gotta do another special, so I'm trying not to fucking focus on that and then I got like I Got like All this weird shit that's peripherally happening because I'm fucking freaking about that I like I never buy shit when I'm on the road and I just went to a coffee shop And I'm in there going look at those coffee mugs I'm talking to Dean I should get one of those should I get a fucking car I have like a fucking thousand coffee mugs why am I gonna get another this is the one this is the coffee mug that's gonna make me feel happy I will tell you most of my coffee

mugs stink they're they're tall and skinny so I've been getting into that latte art thing rather than dealing with childhood trauma. I just keep learning new things because it distracts me. And I got to the point, I kind of did my first little wiggle there with the fucking rose. You know, I got the, I don't know what you call it. I got the whole, I got it down now with my machine where I could have the right fucking Consistency in the phone got the monks head down and then you lift it up you draw it through and then you get the hot And you give it to your wife and she's like, oh Yeah, and then she goes I don't drink coffee.

Then you put your head down and you slowly walk out. So recently I've just been trying to learn how to do like that fucking wiggle thing. There's like so many fucking levels to it. But I love it though because learning how to do that means I don't have to deal with who I am as a person. Isn't that what hobbies are?

I feel like hobbies are literally the thing that stops you from fucking, I don't know, abandoning your family, you know, banging some chick at work, going on a shooting spree, like just literally losing your fucking mind, just walking down the street talking to yourself. It's like, you know, if you don't have a hobby, you know, what do you do between going to work? I mean, it's just like, you just sit in there with your thoughts as time is going by. I mean, you got a fucking whittle or something, right?

I think that's how people end up in like, that's probably what addiction is, beyond just like the personality. I think it's just like whatever happened to you was so fucking bad that like, you know, building a ship in a bottle is not going to fucking help you get through it. So you just got to walk around in like an altered, an altered fucking state. I will tell you there is something about Denver that just makes you want to grab a handful of mushrooms, eat them and just fucking walk around but I can't go outside out here that the sun is just fucking I mean you I'm like a mile closer to it than I am in LA right? I'm like

closer to it than I am in LA, right? I'm like a close talker with the sun. Anyway, this is gonna be a good trip, and I'm very excited, because my tour is gonna be over, other than like, what do I have? I have one gig in Canada in July, and then I'm basically done. I'm writing this script With my buddy Ben Tishla, we're writing another we wrote old dads together

So we're gonna we're making another movie and I'm telling you man It's gonna be even better than old dads. And if you enjoyed old dads and how we just you know I'm just sticking with the formula is like all of this shit that people talk about, I just fucking ignore it. You know, and today's comedy climate with all of this shit, I think it's all over. So people are like they don't they don't care anymore, you know, and then people will say, you know, no one ever really got canceled. It's like, yeah, they how about about like sent back in time in their career? Does that work?

Because people try to say like, well, they, you know, they this comedian got canceled. Now he's still out on the road doing dates. It's like, yeah, but they were on TV. They were making movies. So you ended that they got canceled out of that. So I don't know, which now I'm looking at like, I don't know that that's necessarily a bad thing because making a movie and a TV show is just as much work as it's always been except there's no money in it anymore. Because streaming services are just like, you know, you guys pay 20 bucks and you get

all of it. So it's just like, all right. All right. Is that how that works? Then some of them have like advertising now. So they're like a network and there's still no money. It's fucking, the whole thing is, I feel like we went back to like the 1950s in a lot of industries.

So whatever, but you know what? I got hobbies. I played drums. You know, I didn't get a chance to fly this week. And you know, like anything, an engine doesn't like sitting around. It likes to be, you know, going. So I got up at like 4.48 in the morning before I had to fly to Denver. And I went up there right at dawn. Okay? Sun is just coming over the fucking San Gabriels, right? And there was nobody. I was like one or two people at the airport, right at dawn. Okay? Sun is just coming over the fucking San Gabriels, right? And there was nobody, I was like one or two people at the airport, right?

And did a quick little pre-flight. I wasn't going to fly it or anything like that just because it was total IFR conditions, you know? So I was thinking about taking it down to the run-up area and just doing some pickups and set-downs, but I was just like, ah, I don't got time for that shit. So I just sat there, I just ran it all the way up and just left it on for 15 minutes, you know? Let's get the fluids flowing and shit. And this guy came out with one of those fucking MD 500s,

like in, you know, Magnum PI back in the day. I think it's like an MD-600 now. I flew one of those. They're uncomfortable as hell. For some reason, it's almost like you're sitting a little forward, but they're just fucking sick. And I listened to the ATIS, which is just the recorded information, and it said visibility, two and a half miles. And like the ceiling was 1200 feet.

So it's 100% instrument conditions. And this guy fucking just did his pre-flight. All right, fucking runs it up full power, pulls up, does a fucking 180 and then just fucking flies right past me And I almost broke my neck craning to see where the fuck this guy was flying with two and a half miles of visibility At a 1200 foot ceiling. I was checking the aides of other airports like is he flying out to the East to the West is it clear or whatever and I was thinking like well made him. That's a really super expensive Helicopter, you know if you have to have in order even if you're instrument rated like say that guy

I'm assuming was instrument rated if he was in my helicopter. I don't have an autopilot so you would not you know Under FAA rules be able to do that. So I'm assuming those MD 600s have an autopilot and dude, he was just by himself. He had the doors off. It was like four doors. He had the doors off. And it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. It was the sun was just starting to come up with that low cloud cover. It was sort of like the beautiful things I've ever seen. It was the sun was just starting to come up

with that low cloud cover. It was sort of like the sun was trying to push through and it was cool out and it was quiet because it was like fucking, it was dude, it was like 5.15 in the morning and that thing just coming up and him just like in a hover, just doing the 180 and then just wow,

going right by me. I was just like, I felt like I was in apocalypse now like minus the fucking war or whatever, right? the whole napalm in the morning Thanks. So anyway when I was done, you know 15 minutes I Tore it back to the hanger and then I told you I got that little Royal infield And I just rode the bike around for 15 minutes as the sun was coming up at the airport. It was just one of those moments you're like, how fucking great is my life right now?

And then I came out here to Denver and I got to do a stand up show last night. And what was cool was Bert Kreischer and Greg Fitzsimmons were coming through. They were at the comedy work so they stopped by and we shot the shit for about 45 minutes after my show and then that's it. So I'm here again tonight and I don't know. I just gotta get through these next couple of weeks. I'm starting to feel the fucking pressure of this shit, so I gotta make sure I uh... I don't give into that. I gotta stay loose. All right. We got one read here. Oh, look who it is. Hims... Your sex life is important, but your schedule is busy.

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See websites for details and important safety information subscriptions required price varied based on product and subscription plan Alright back to the product podcast Here's a question. I have if something's not FDA approved. How the fuck are you giving it to human beings to be ingested? This is how fucked up this country is right now. I saw this whole crazy fucking thing about you know what's going on with Red Lobster and now they're going to do it to Subway and Quiznos and there's these just handful of greedy people. Somehow they buy the land that the franchise sits on and then they just make all these outrageous

demands and you have to rent their equipment I swear to God man like they better do something about that soon somebody's gonna fucking snap and they're gonna find one of these fucking corporate guys and fucking take a lead pipe to him. It's- it is- it is fucking brutal out there. How the fuck do you do something like that to somebody? Fuck them that hard and then just be like, yeah, that's just how the game's played. I win, you lose. This is just business. I don't know.

But whatever. God bless all of you. All right. We're all in the same team if you fucking wake up stop yelling at each other We got to go after the sociopaths. We got to go after the narcissist. That's what we have to do This isn't a sport. It's not about colors. All right, it's about cunts All right, that's it this was an extra stupid podcast today, I'm usually I sound dumb It's about cunts. All right, that's it. This was an extra stupid podcast today. I'm usually I sound dumb. I know I realize on this one. I was just thinking back how I asked like how come women don't lay eggs

and for half a second. I'm not going to lie to you. That was a legitimate question. All right, that's it everybody. Enjoy the music the interlude music picked out by the wonderfully talented Andrew Thumless and then we have a bonus episode of the Thursday afternoon just before Friday Monday morning podcast enjoy your weekend you cunts be nice to your fellow Americans stop yelling at him online stop taking

the bait from these bots turn to these fucking politicians hold them accountable turn it around can we do it? Who knows? Alright, I'll see you. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, June 6th, 2016. This is like the fifth fucking time I've tried to start this thing because I don't know. I just had an aborted landing. Well, I didn't have one. The pilot had one and I was riding in the back and you know

What are you gonna do? Well, we landed safely You know some airplane didn't clear the runway. That's my fifth one that I've had I've had five aborted landings and that was my second one at LAX First one was vehicle on a runway and this next one guy didn't plane was still on the runway didn't clear it or whatever But uh, it was a little less scary Now that I've flown a little bit, you know, not a lot but a little bit But you're still in the back and you can't see what's going on. So that's that's always nice All right, so people been asking me they've been emailing me they've been twittering me they've been Facebooking me

About what's going on with these Irish dates? Dublin July 31st Belfast August 1st in Galway Galway modal Ireland on the 2nd of August Alright, I have the pre-sale information, but for whatever reason I'm not allowed to announce it But I'm going to and I'll reason I'm not allowed to announce it but I'm going to announce it on 6-9-16 at 4pm GMT time whatever that means. Gaelic Mountain to Tity-2 time. Alright?

Um. Why can't I just say when the fuck this shit's going to be? Alright, June 10th is when they're going on sale. I'll announce the pre-sale on the 9th. Oh, fuck this. I'm gonna tell you everything now. Alright, 6-9-16 at 4pm. Uh, the pre-sale will be announced. No, right?

I just... This is why I had to re-record it. This is so fucking confusing. The pre-sale for Dublin Island is going to be June 10th, my birthday, 2016 at 9am Gaelic Mountain Time. And then the regular on sale is going to be June 13th, 9am GMT Time, whatever the fuck that means. Belfast is going to be about five days later and so is Galway, Galeway, Motel, Ireland. Will be like, that'll be June 15th. So that's the deal.

All right? And I'll let you guys know. I'll tweet about it. I'll do all that shit so nobody gets fucked out of anything also. There's been a second show added in London, England For August 6 2016 We'll have a link up there for that and all that shit. All right. There you go I got all the business stuff out of the way and also go to all things comedy comm If you're sick of listening to me, we got a bunch of other talented people out there that you can listen to

And with that let's get into the podcast. Oh, did I travel around. Sciatica. It's still acting up. I'm going to every fucking witch doctor out here at this point, I don't give a shit. Some woman was talking to me, was saying how she got sciatica when she was pregnant.

And I was just like, you calling me fat? And she laughed, she's like, no. She goes, I just got it. And she laughed. She's like, no, she goes, I just got it. And she went someplace and she goes, they just kind of lightly just whisp on my backside. I thought they were really gonna need in there. They just kind of lightly, I was like, nobody's fucking putting leaves on my butt cheeks.

I'm gonna go to everybody else first before that. But I gotta tell you, like something happens with the air pressure when I'm on a plane. The back of my leg, it feels like my hamstring's going to snap. So I got to keep standing up doing my Vietnamese gambler fucking squat. And I don't know, trying to stretch out the psoas muscle. I'm doing everything I can to try to keep this thing at bay because I don't fucking have the time to take care of it. I just don't. I'm too fucking busy here with writing this filthy, wonderful cartoon, which I'm having a great time doing. Up to

episode six this week, people. Up to episode six. Writing as far as that aspect of it. I literally sound like the fucking Rayman. All right, let me take it through my trip here All right I had some fucking guy He was like in his early 60s. Give me this fucking look like he was going to punch me in the face To the point I had to say something to him and I know you guys are thinking like bill What the fuck you're talking shit to a guy 63. Well, i'm going to be 48 this week. So, you know When I was 15, he was 30. So it's not that bad. We're pretty close, right?

When I was 10, he was 25, right? You know, you think he wouldn't have picked on me back then? This is what happened, right? So I went down, go around to the airport, right? I got bumped up the business. So I get to go, first I get to go into the lounge, right? I get to go in and fucking pour myself some cornflakes or whatever. So I go into the lounge and there's this fucking guy, right? He just, I don't know. I got on the elevator and he was there and he was kind of in my space,

but he was a little oblivious or whatever, right? Fucking horseshoe level bald and he dyes the sides, which is always hysterical to me. Like, dude, why are you still dying that? You think that makes you look younger? So I go into the lounge and I'm like, fucking horseshoe level bald and he dies the sides which is always hysterical to me like dude what the why are you still dying that you think that makes you look younger so anyways it's like five in the fucking was before five in the morning because that's what time my flight is and you know I go up to the lounge and

I set my shit down he goes his other way I'm not even thinking about this guy and then I'm walking over to where the serial is and so is he. All right? Like two planes about to land, you know, on the same runway. I'm in front of him. I have priority. So I walk over there and then he, I feel him standing way close, too close to me. And when I finish, you know, I just did a couple of turns, you know, the fucking cereal thing, couple turns of the knob, and it goes into the bowl, and then I pour some milk in it.

It probably took me less than 15 seconds to do that. And when I turned around, because I just felt him, I would have turned the other way, but I felt him on my left shoulder, trying to look at him, and he was glaring at me, showing me all of his bottom teeth, you know? He was like, ugh, ugh, except he wasn't making that noise. But you know, the face you make when you

That's what he was looking at me Just glaring at me So what the fuck did I say to him? I just looked at him and I was like I said, are you alright? That's what I said Are you alright? And then he didn't say anything.

And then I felt bad like, oh man, was Was he like one of those old guys? Remember I did that bit, the old man face? Was that, is that the beginning of the old man face? You start glaring at first and then you gradually get more scared. I have no idea, right? Um It's like those old people know they're going to hell They're thinking back in their life and they're trying to think, do they have enough time to say enough Hail Marys? And they just realize they can.

They're like, yeah. They probably saw ghosts and saw those creepy things coming up from hell. So anyways, he didn't say anything. So I walk away and I'm thinking that, feeling bad, like, man, I just fucking yelled at that old, I didn't yell at the old guy, but I kind of gave him shit. So I felt bad. Then I went over to sit down and then he gets his fucking cereal.

And at this point, I'm like fucking 20 yards away from this guy sitting down and he fucking turns around and as he's walking over to his wife, he looks at me and goes, and shakes his fucking head. He was glaring at me. So later, I go to get up to get a fucking apple, and I knew he was going to be looking at me, and I looked right over at him. And I can't remember what the fuck I did. And then I was like, Billy, are you really doing this?

Neither one of you is going to fight. You're both too fucking old to fight. And that's how my trip started. So I should have known that it was going to be a weird travel experience. Ended up getting into Syracuse, that's where I was going, the first night, and we played this minor league hockey arena. And I didn't know at the time until I got there they actually filmed That's where they filmed Slapshot a lot of it when they did all the stuff

You know, I'm listening to the fucking song when they were on like the the ice and everything. So that was cool as shit The next night we did another one of those small hockey arenas and that one they told me that was the place Elvis was supposed to perform at But he died the day before that was the place Elvis was supposed to perform at, but he died the day before. That was his next concert. And so they still have all these Elvis tickets and they actually gave me this little frame thing of a couple of Elvis tickets and then the date that I played there was really fucking cool.

Where the fuck did I go after that? Oh, then I went down to, oh, I was driving from Portland back to fucking Albany. Um, where the fuck did I go after that? Oh, then I went down to, oh, I was driving from Portland back to fucking Albany. Who's kidding who? I wasn't. Fucking, Verzi was riding, we were in this SUV, and I was laying down in the backseat

because my fucking leg was killing me. This shit's really starting to scare me, man. Like, how fucking long is this gonna take? I've been dealing with this shit since February every time I start to turn the corner I got to get on a plane again so people always stare at me too when I stand up on the plane I squat down I don't even give a fuck and they're just looking at me I told you the last time this guy asked me if I was praying so anyways then the final show last night was in Albany, but I actually, when we drove from Portland, which so many memories came back, when we went over that bridge, when

we went over this bridge and we go from New Hampshire to Maine, and I remember I used to fucking, one of my first girlfriends used to live over there Right on the other side of that, but she didn't live there She lived down in the Boston area, but she had like family up there. I remember going up on over that bridge I always think of that shit I always think about the ticket that I got on the fucking turnpike up there driving my piece of shit truck back the comedy connection up there all of that shit and I Got to tell you man just living out here in LA,

like all people in New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, and Western Mass in Maine, I hope they realize how fucking lucky they are to live where it rains, and there's all that lush land. I'm so fucking jealous of that shit. Like when I came back, when we were driving from Portland to Albany, I actually went down to the Boston area to visit some family and friends and stop off at one of my favorite pizza places.

And we ended up coming down Route 1. And the fucking memories that were coming back, there was this strip club up there, there was the Hilltop Steakhouse, which they've now completely knocked down. I hope that's signed because it's still up, that giant fucking cactus. I hope somehow, like, that thing is protected. You know what I mean? You know what's funny? That's like one of those dumb things they'll sell on fucking eBay for like a million bucks

and they'll say like 15 people are watching this You know do you know like back in the day how they used to they used to catch people with warrants They would just have Like during like a fight or something they would just advertise Hey, you're the you're the 20th person to order this come down here and claim your free gift And they call these people up and they would all go down and claim the gifts and there'll be all these people standing around down there and then the cops are just walking and they'd fucking arrest everybody. They should fucking do that with dumb shit like that on eBay like the giant the hilltop steakhouse right? There's 15 people watching it those 15 people

should immediately be audited. Who the fuck's got a million bucks to blow on a giant lit up cactus? I mean, everybody wants it. Well, not everybody. I'd love to have that fucking thing. You know, get yourself a spread out in the middle of nowhere. You have a giant lit up cactus. Your friends come over, right?

Just make a riot at the giant cactus. You know, you get a nickname out of it. Oh, Cactus Chris, he's fucking crazy. But nobody has the money to do that shit, right? Like I went on eBay, right? And I was, what the fuck I was looking at? I was trying to, you know, kill the flight now. Now you can, you know, go online. So I was just looking up random shit like humidor's, even though I've gotten cigars mostly out of my life, I was just looking them up because I think they're fucking cool, right?

Well, I know what I was doing. I was looking at Cigar Afeccionado and they had all these cool places where you can smoke a cigar. They let you know in different cities, like places to smoke and shit, right? I already found a cool place in London possibly to smoke we'll see and that is if I smoke that I don't we'll figure it out anyways and that just got me thinking about cigar smoking and all that type of shit so I went on eBay and a lot of the shit that comes along with cigar smoking is pretty fucking cool a lot of the lighters a lot of the ashtrays and the humidor's and I like looking at that stuff especially if they're vintage or old

So I look up vintage humidor. I'm sure it's still there and this is this is fucking I Think it's sitting bull. It's this bust of sitting bull All right, that's what the fucking humidor is. It's a bust of sitting bull and what's really fucking you know weird is bull and what's really fucking you know weird is to take you know put your cigars in it you basically take off the scalp which I thought was a little fucking tacky but granted it's old that was considered like totally fine back in the day right so anyways this fucking thing is going for a million and a half dollars and it has it says like there's like 20 people watching. I'm looking it up right now.

eBay.com. All right. Okay. Vintage humidor. Boom. All right. What do you got? What do you got? Oh, fuck. Where the hell is it coming?

Oh, there it is. Right there. Sitting Bull Cigar Store Indian Statue, antique American folk art, vintage tobacco. You know what's funny? From the side, it actually looks cool. From straight on, it just looks like, I don't know, it's kind of looking off. It kind of looks sad.

Then they, I don't understand why. This thing is a million and a half bucks. There's 61 people watching this. 61 people have a million and a half dollars to spend on a fucking humidor. I don't know. Like that's the type of shit right there. Like if I was fucking dodging taxes and all that type of shit, you know, go out and do this on the internet, right? I don't know. That's like whenever you ever watch those Mecham car auctions, you know when somebody spends 500 grand on a fucking Mustang?

I mean, you're either evading taxes or you're a wife beater, one or the other, okay? You're either cheating the fucking system or your wife is scared to death of you that she'll let you fucking do that, blow a million and a half bucks on a humidor. Look at it, honey! Isn't it great? It's sitting bold. Look at the top of his head comes off. Like after a fucking autopsy. Anyways, so I can't remember what the hell I was talking about here. Oh, so we ended up having just having this great anytime I work with Ferzi, we have a great fucking time. When we were up in Portland, after the show, we had a great time working

the the Elvis venue there. And we ended up going up to this bar afterwards and game three of the Stanley Cup finals and the UFC fights were both on it. Jesus Christ, Dan fucking Henderson. Did you guys see that knockout? That was like some born identity shit. He threw a kick, went past the guy and then fucking threw an elbow like he was training in a phone booth. I've never seen anything like that. It reminded me a long time ago I saw a UFC fighter basically throw a left hook but he did it with his

knee. He fucking got rocked in the head. I think it was that guy they used to call the little bottle, little ball of hate. The hell was his name? One of my favorite fighters back then, right? He had hair dyed like bright red, fire engine red, and he got rocked. And he started to go down, and the other guy was so excited to jump on him, start hitting him, that he kind of just went in with his hands down a little bit, and the fucking guy was able to regroup,

and he just, I can't explain it. He threw it, he kneed the guy in the head, but he like came from the side. He threw a hook, this fucking guy went down. Gave me all right there, Fred, with the left knee. Dan Anderson, the same fucking thing. This guy was just, he was getting punched in the head repeatedly, and everybody in the bar

was going, oh, oh, oh, right, and I'm yelling. And I actually, for once, because I don't know shit about fighting I'm going he's fucking eating those punches though look at him and then you know he kicks the guy in the fucking head he kicked him in the head and then somehow he was like parallel to the guy's head and he gave me a fucking there with the elbow and the guy just went down that was it over and then the coolest thing ever was his family was there you know tell me it over and then the coolest thing ever was his family was there You know tell me you don't have the coolest dad ever

Guy goes shirtless in the ring eats fucking 12 punches to the head and then knocks the other guy out You know you know it's funny. He was in better shape than his kids He's a 45 year old guy you should have the dad bod. He's up there shredded His kids are coming up. You know he's making them look soft not saying they were soft I'm just saying usually by the time you're 45 you have three four kids You just got that 600 yard stare like you don't give a fuck if you're eating a Twinkie or a fucking tube sock You know and this guy's out there just was shredded. So once again once again UFC completely worth the fucking money Be paid to get in. I missed all the other fights.

Oh no, I saw the championship one with a guy there that I've been watching ever since he was on The Ultimate Fighter, the guy from Manchester, England. Ah, fuck, I gotta get his name here. God damn it. You know, I realized when he won, I've been saying his last name wrong forever. UFC champ Manchester Here we go. What's his name? Michael Bisbing? I was always Bisbane Michael Bisbane, he fucking won. That was another great one What a night and then as we and as we're watching that simultaneously they're watching

well, I guess I was probably the only one really watching it, but I was watching the Penguins San Jose, and I'm looking at this shit going like holy fuck It's two to one They're carrying the play and all of a sudden they get a high stick. I think it was a four minute power play They seem like they were on the power play for fucking ever long story, they're up two to one in the game and it was like they killed off like all fucking 20 minutes of this penalty. It seemed like a 20 minute penalty, right? They killed this fucking thing off. There's like two seconds left and all I'm thinking in my head is if they killed off this penalty, they're going

to win this game and they're going to win the cup. This is the fucking series and it's over. Three, two, score out of nowhere. I don't know. I don't know if it was tipped or whatever. After San Jose's goal, he made this one of the sickest. He fucking like saved it with like the inside of his forearm, you know, a few minutes earlier than any. Let that one go in. A little bit of a floater.

And now it's two games to one, right? And I don't give a fuck either way. My team's out of it. And then my surrogate team is also out of it. All I know is that means that there's going to be at least one more game of hockey, right? As far as rather than just going four games, it'll go five, right? So we at least got two more games, which is good for me because when When the NHL and the NBA seasons end I have like a sort of sports panic attack because they haven't watched been watching baseball

I don't know what the fuck's going on in baseball, but all I know it's like the middle of the season You know, don't here's the rubber game just a ball outside You don't see that slider a lot this afternoon, you know, after you just went from like watching people win championships and playing at that level. That's why the NFL is the shit as far as like, it can actually compete with October baseball because you figure that the middle of the NFL season would be boring. Like most sports, the middle of the season is boring when you're playing like 80 to 162 games, but NFL only plays 16 games. Every game means so fucking much.

You know? Plus Tom Brady ought to be coming back from his nice rest. A nice rest, relaxed, pissed off Tom Brady coming back to light you up again. You know? You guys can look under the rocks and try to figure out what he's doing. Someday, someday you will admit that he fucking was, you know, he was just a shit. And then the saddest thing, obviously,

the weekend was the death of Muhammad Ali, man. That guy, if you've never watched when we were kings um I used to watch I used to own that thing and I used to I wore it out I had it on VHS then I had on a dvd. I just i've watched it so many fucking times I just um I don't even know how to put the guy into words. It was literally like whenever I watched it I was like I have not done shit with my life

The guy was unbelievable and when I watched it, I was like, I have not done shit with my life. The guy was unbelievable. And when I tweeted, you know, greatest of all time, greatest athlete, ambassador, human being of all time, and all these, you know, Twitter cunts, come on, Bill, he just, he hit things in a ring. It's like, no, he didn't. He didn't. He did so much stuff beyond that. Like, you know, this is how great Muhammad Ali was. Like when I said greatest human ever, it said really they're like better than Gandhi, and it's like exactly, exactly.

If I said fucking Tom Brady, you know, greatest ever, you're just gonna bring up other quarterbacks. You had to bring up fucking Gandhi. This is a goddamn athlete. That's a good comparison, because he was doing Gandhi shit outside of the ring, and he could knock out anybody in the world. The guy could hold court in the poorest of the poor,

right up to the White House. When he walked in, he lit up the room, everybody shut up, and you never forgot it. And on top of that, he was one of the greatest fighters of all time, if not the greatest. And I got so much out of when I used to watch that, you know, when he was talking all that shit, it was like he was almost as much as he was talking shit, it was like self-help. It's not the way it's done today where today. It's just all like It's all perverted. You know what I mean?

It's like you know what's gonna happen if you say the crazy shit You know that you're hyping the fight. You know that you're gonna get a sneaker deal. You know all this money's coming I'm not saying that he didn't know that on some level but The shit that that guy went through If you watch some of those early, especially the ones that are in black and white, the fucking white reporters are so goddamn racist it's like ridiculous. I remember he's just going and going and going and this reporter's just, white guy's getting

fucking mad. He just hates his confidence. This guy like, if this guy could have got sent into the future, he'd be a hater on Twitter. So he finally just goes, do you ever stop talking? And Ali said something like no because I'm knocking out all bums and if you keep talking I'm knocking you out too and he just it was the greatest he just fucking pissed the guy off and he knew what the guy was doing and he was able to navigate all that I know everybody says all the terrible shit that he did to Joe Frazier but nobody gets out of this life without some bad shit all the terrible shit that he did to Joe Frazier, but nobody gets out of this life without some bad shit.

Everybody's done some bad shit, you know what I mean? But I don't know, man. He still had a good run, though, 74 years. I used to watch him when I was a kid, man. That's how fucking old I am. That's what's freaking me out now, is all these people that were like in their 20s and 30s when I was a kid are now dying of like fucking old age and shit David Bowie

Muhammad Ali That's fucking Freaking me out. You know what I mean? Maybe that's why that guy at the at the little cereal thing in the fucking at the airport was giving me that look because he knows he's going so You know everybody he knew is probably all dead right And he's thinking I only got so much time left to get cereal You know I was also thinking the fact that he felt so fucking

Like he's the little like the complete lack of patience that he had and I don't have patience The fact that that he couldn't wait two seconds for me to get some fucking Cheerios. I was also thinking, like, that's probably why he's in this lounge. This guy just fucking doesn't take no for an answer. He's a lunatic. I don't know, that's kind of fucking depressing shit

that'll be talking about death. Because I gotta tell you, though, man, the amount of fucking people that have died in the last goddamn year, that I am old enough to have been a teenager and seen them in their fucking prime. How about that Prince shit, huh? Another person lost to the opiates and stuff.

I just can't believe it. But the fact that they actually come at him and they come at fame and celebrity and all that type of shit like People are fucking dying Regular people are dying because of that drug however the fuck you say fentanyl or whatever the hell it is They get it then the prescription runs out They were addicted to opiates and then they get on heroin and the fact that they don't talk about the pharmaceutical companies at all is because

that's like a hundred fifty fucking zillion dollar business and they give money to the politicians and they advertise on TV. So they make like prints out to be like this, um, this famous guy that, you know, nobody could say no to. I mean, I might be wrong on this, but I know he had at least one hip replacement, if not two. And if you ever watched the guy, the guy never took a show off.

He was all over the fucking stage. I imagine he was in pain, and that's how that shit started, was basically him pouring his heart out on stage, giving everybody 100%. He wore out his fucking hips. What's this, James Brown did the same thing. He had to get new hips.

Fortunately by the time Prince got the operation, hopefully they were further along. But I imagine he still had all kinds of pain. And then, that's my guess. But the fact that people came at him, some people, the way that people came at him some people the way that they came at him was I don't know considering the shows and the music that he left us that that was really fucking a little below the belt

though when you say I think that's a little below the belt have you guys seen this YouTube video my name is John Dacre you got to watch this thing I apologize because it's gonna be in your fucking head for the rest of time. I'll post the video to my Twitter account. He's singing Amore and he can't remember watching this guy. This guy, I swear to God, I think it's his first TV gig. Somebody was sick, I think they say at the beginning, so this guy fills in, and if you look at him, he's literally having an out-of-body experience. So it's so funny to me because I can relate to this person, because the first time I did stand-up, I felt like I was watching myself. I fucked everything up.

And this guy, just the way he says his name it's almost just he says like my name is John Dacre it's like it's like he was out so I think that might be my favorite part of the video is the when this fucking guy just the way he says his own name he didn't say my name is he didn't say, my name's John Dacre. He goes, my name's John Dacre. I did it right the first time, and I just fucked it up. You gotta hear this, you gotta hear this fucking guy. He says he's singing all these Jesus songs.

Hang on, hang on. My name is John Dacre. John Dacre. That's the funniest shit ever. My name's John Dacre. It's like he's watching his life. Like he already died. And then he came back.

And he just got to... Like he first time he ever realized my name my name is John Daker That's my fucking name and this is my life and I'm on TV and I'm gonna sing this song This is what I did with my life. You look at the guy fucking poor bastard Anyways, it's d a k er if you're just listening now and you want to fucking watch it at work. Oh my god, listen to him sing Hallelujah. Hallelujah, such a man in need you say Hallelujah. To a boy saying try and smile, Hallelujah. And I'm sorry, hallelujah.

Fucking guy. Oh, damn it for the grace of God. This fucking guy would be the most interesting interview ever. Just like, he's one of the most fascinating people I've ever seen. Like, what is going on in between those fucking ears right now I think if they could if you could make a show about his fucking thoughts you know all these fucking movies oh it's yeah you know they show the movie but it's done in reverse and then they try to fucking flip you out nothing nothing Pink Floyd could ever fucking right can match

what's going on in this guy's head. Highly recommended. All right, let's read some little bit of advertising here. Bells will ring, ring-a-ding-a-ding, that's a morr-er. Where the fuck is the goddamn? My name is John Dacre. All right, got it out of the fucking way. Here we go, let's get back to the podcast All right, let's read some of the letters for this week we're gonna leave some of the rest Oh before before I do though the

Jesus Christ Poor Jason Lawhead man after game one. He's a Cleveland guy after game one. I Can't even say game one after the first fucking quarter. This guy was sending me texts. He had his head in the oven. I'm like Jesus Christ dude. Nobody fucking throws in the towel the way you did. I remember back-to-back years. I think in 84 the Lakers came out and blew out the Celtics in game one and we came back and beat them. And then the very next year we blew them out in game one. Won by like 15-20 fucking points and then the Lakers won. So I was like, for fuck's sakes, the

Bruins were down 0-2 to Vancouver, we ended up winning 4, the next 5, and we raised, we fucking hoisted up the cup. Stop being such a negative Nelly. And then, after the game two, when they lost by like fucking 30 or 35. I wrote back to him, all right, maybe you got a point. Yeah. I never say this after two games, but this series is fucking over. It's over, man. Just go down, if you live in Oakland,

just go fucking find a, you know, find a good spot for the championship parade. This is, I don't know know maybe they go back to Cleveland and they You know all the positivity from their fans seeps into I'm kidding Here's a question. I got you for you guys. I didn't get why Trump got into so much fucking trouble, you know, I Know what I know cuz he's a dope but like this stuff that they were saying that he said something racist right about the

the judge Mexican American judge right something about the fucking wall. This is what I like to do on a hot button issue like this I'm just gonna wade right in with barely even knowing the facts says Donald Trump's attacks on the judge Are racist he's quite literally saying the judge can't do his job because of his ethnicity. This is the definition of racism. I guess there was some debate going on about that wall that he wants to build and this judge who's Mexican-American was going to rule on it. And I think Trump said that he didn't want him to because he was Mexican, he was going

to be biased. So everybody said that he didn't want him to because he was Mexican, he was going to be biased. So everybody said that that was racist. So here's my question as Joe 12-pack. I'm not Joe 6-pack, Joe 12-pack. Basically what he did there, as far as I could tell, is how they pick juries. Isn't that how they always pick a jury? You know what I mean? Like if you go down for jury duty and the defendant is black as a white dude, I'm not going to get picked for this jury. Or the defendant attorney doesn't want

me on there. Right? Isn't that how they pick the whole OJ? That's how they always do it. If it's a domestic violence case, let's try to get as many women there as possible. You know? I think they hide it by going, because I think that they can understand women also now. They're hoping to win the fucking case. So what they do is they stack the deck with enough people of the same ilk as the defendant. Right? Now don't they do that?

Am I nuts here? I believe that that's what they do. So I thought it was kind of ironic that they, within the court system, that if Trump is saying that it's like Trump's picking his jury to try to get the fucking wall and what he wants is he wants a bunch of fucking White people who like a white guy goes over make this country great again Oh, you you watch how great it's gonna be like he wants The mouth-breathing morons that like him on his jury. That's all he was saying as far as I could tell right Not saying the guy's not racist, but I thought that that one,

they were stretching the bounds a little bit. Now I'm just asking a fucking question here before you fucking edit this thing and make me look like the next Hitler. But I was watching that story, I was just going like, yeah, that's kind of how courts work. That's kind of exactly how it works. And not to mention when the OJ Verta came white people like what the fuck and black people were freaking out having a parade

That's why they do it right everybody watches it and you put yourself in the position of whoever's there I watched the OJ trial. I'm fucking I got my throat slashed Right black people watch it. They go. Yeah, I got my throat slashed, right? Black people watch it and they go, yeah, I got off. That's how I look at it, I don't know. And I don't think that's wrong either. It's like watching sports, except it's people's freedom. Anyway. All right, Scandinavia.

Hey, Billy Burrballs, is it true that you're not gonna come to Scandinavia? Me and my lady are huge fans and was really hoping for you to come to Sweden this summer slash fall. I just need to know if I need to book some plane tickets to the Netherlands. Then this is going to cost me like one grand for us to see your shit, but I'll bet it's worth it. But I just need to know if you're planning to come to Scandinavia at some point in the future otherwise.

Love your shit and looking forward to Efface for Family season two. Well, thank you very much. Efface for Family season two is the reason why on this trip I'm not going to Scandinavia. So like, there's like three chunks, okay? There's the, my pasty people, which is coming in first, just like the jury.

Does this mean I'm a racist the way I'm touring against other white people? No, it's just how it worked out. And then I probably would do the Scandinavian thing next and then hopefully Eastern Europe. That's what I am hoping to do. the Scandinavian thing next and then hopefully Eastern Europe. That's what I am hoping to do. This show takes up way more time than I thought it would but like they I had a list of 29 cities that wanted to bring me over there and I could have gone on a month-long fucking crazy-ass tour. I've broken it up into two

but I think the way my workload is now, I have to break it into three. But like, I am absolutely coming back there again. It's a beautiful country. I love it, you know? Who the fuck doesn't want to go there? I've been there like two or three times and I'll definitely come back. I just don't know when. I can't promise you as to when, but I am definitely going to come back and I don't know other than that. I don't have any more information. So

Save your money, dude. Don't blow a grand. Don't blow a grand coming to see me my shit and dick jokes I'll come your way. All right, don't worry about it. Okay X-Men Billboard Hey, Bill, um, this is fucking nerd shit, nerd shit, so please bear with me. There's a new X-Man movie, and Rose McGowan, the chick who used to date Marilyn Manson, has her tits in an uproar over this billboard because between Mystique, a woman, and Apocalypse, a dude. If you don't want to click on the link from some weirdo, you don't know, no problem. Just picture a blue dude holding up a naked blue woman by the throat to the point her feet aren't on the ground.

Context, Apocalypse, the dude, is a badass villain in the movie, and Mystique, the woman, is the leading lady and badass heroine in the movie. Here's the problem. Rose McGowan says this is promoting violence against women, which I feel is horseshit. Here's why. If it was Hugh Jackman slash Wolverine being choked out and held up, no problem. The point of the post is to show how dangerous slash how much of the threat the villain, how much of a threat the villain is, it's not a political statement. Here's my issue with this though. How does a studio slash movie maker win? Suppose Wolverine was the leading hero.

Women would be complaining that it's always a man as the hero, and women are more like backup or support roles. I mean, Mystique is badass, she's leading the fight against this guy. To me, that's empowering to women. She isn't a sex symbol in the movie, though Jennifer Lawrence, who plays her, is really attractive. She's just strong and a leader. All I can think is that they want her standing on the neck of the villain but this but that's fucking stupid for promotional posters you couldn't have her be the villain and holding up a man hero because that would be some kind of anti-woman all women are evil campaign instead right well you

lost me here you couldn't have her be the villain and holding up a man hero. Oh I see if she if the female character was evil and then was holding up the guy character they couldn't do that because then they would be saying it would be considered anti-women all women are evil. I guess what bothers me is that it just seems like there's no way to please any non white male lately. Women wanted a strong female hero, they got one, but she's in danger of the villain, a man. Somehow that equals violence on women when it's really just about violence in general, or war, or conflict, or whatever. I mean, the dude isn't slapping her for overcooking his steak.

He's trying to conquer the world. She's trying to stop stop him and he's choking her ass. How is that a gender issue? All right, let me see. Let me see if I can find the picture of this here. I did look at it. Library. No, that not the, I always click on the wrong one. Yeah, I actually, you know, when I heard it, I thought it was bullshit. But then I saw the poster, the movie, the clip that I saw, I don't see her feet dangling off of it. Um, I, I see why they did that.

I understand why that they did it that way. What happens is when you're right,? I'm learning is when you're writing something you're so fucking focus on is the story tracking from point A to point B to point C and we land this thing without crashing into the fucking ocean that they wouldn't Think that anybody you know might have a problem with that I understand. I understand. I was actually one of those ones I get why they don't want to see that.

But in defense of you, how about this? If the guy character, the fucking Apollo guy, whatever his fucking name is, was Apocalypse, such dumb names, Apocalypse, Mystique. These all sound like bad cologne. Mystique. These all sound like bad cologne. Anyways, if Apocalypse was holding the Wolverine Hugh Jackman by the throat, now would that be promoting male-on-male violence? Would there be more barroom brawls because of that? I honestly don't think it promotes violence. I think, like the level stupid that you'd have to be to look at apocalypse holding up,

holding a woman by her throat and to say like, oh, I guess it's okay to hit women. Now I'm going to start hitting women. If you were that fucking stupid, by the time you got to, unless she was riding in the car, let's say you're driving home and now you're going to fucking choke her because you saw this apocalypse guy choking a fucking mystique. Right? You'd also see another thousand signs on the way home and next thing you know, I don't know, you'd be in a car dealership buying something or getting a fucking McDonald's sandwich. I think you would forget if you were that, like, if your brain was like that influenced.

But having said that, looking at the poster, I understand why they were just like, you know, that's not the greatest Image you could have another image up there Yeah, I don't have a problem with them changing it, but I definitely understand your um your points on that thing, but uh You know, I don't I don't fuck it though. It's It's just the time that we're living in everybody gets offended everybody doesn't get offended a small group of people gets offended and The news covers it

You know Because what are they gonna talk about the fucking how the drug companies and a roundabout way kill Prince You know, I mean What are they gonna talk about? They're gonna talk about fracking and people fucking up the water supply? There's too much money involved in that. But if you've got a group of fucking soccer moms upset about a fucking blue woman getting held up by a guy who appears to be made out of stone in a movie, that's going to make it.

That's going to make it. You do a Caitlyn Jenner joke in a fucking strip mall, yeah, that's going to get on the fucking news. But real shit that matters? No, that's not going to happen, you know? That's not going to... Why would you do that? That's just another one of those back burner stories that they just stick on the front

burner all the fucking time. Like they... I mean, I'm not saying like, you know, violence against women isn't a major issue, but I'm just saying like people aren't as simplistic as that. Like they don't fucking look at something and like, I don't know, as a kid, like the amount of violence that I watched when I was growing up, you know what I mean?

All the fucking shows that I've watched, I've yet to chase somebody down an alley, pull them off a fence, chain link fence, beat them up or Even slide over the hood of a car. I saw all those images when I was growing up I used to pretend and play war and all that shit. I never fucking killed anybody I've never hit a woman. I never did any of that I think what you know what it is is what really makes you do shit like that is is horrific fucking parents. I

Think that that's what it is And now they're trying to blame the signs the sign that's gonna be up for all of fucking two weeks when this movie's out as opposed to your dad and mom and their relationship that you grow up for the first 18 years of your life fucking watching. But you know you can't blame those people because those people buy things on the channel. You know what I mean? So you always give them a pass and then you rub their balls and you call them Joe Sixback and fucking uh the true heroes. You know they're always rubbing their balls like they give a fuck about them. They don't. They just want their money. You know what I mean?

That's why corporations act like all of these non-crisises are absolute crisis crises because they don't want to lose a fucking dime. So if anybody bitches, anybody moans, anybody complains, they fucking cave in. And then a lot of these groups are aware of that. And when they get to, uh, to get a corporation to cave, it gives them like, it, it's almost like a video game. It gives them more life and they're taken more seriously. So it's a giant, it's a giant fucking game. You know, at the end of the day, it's two people

that don't fucking exist. But I don't know, there's something, there's a look on her face. She doesn't look badass there. It makes me feel bad for her and I want to help her. So maybe what they should have done, she should have had a more fucking Ronda Rousey look on her face and maybe was pulling back on his fucking,

are those cornrows? What the fuck does he have? Or is that wavy hair? I can't, I don't even know what this guy's made out of. His fucking claymation hair. She should have, she should be like, you know, maybe gouging his eyes a little bit. I don't know.

I was kidding, they'd still fucking complain. If you really want to get him going just Have that picture right there that image nah, I'm not gonna tell you do that Because there's no sense of humor anymore. I was gonna I was gonna say that maybe you could take that image and say like No, don't build don't it's it's don't Ask me at a show. I'll tell you what I was gonna say. All right. Hey Billy Dope! Billy the fucking Dope! Can, can women forget Mr. Nice Guy persona? Hey, I'm really having a difficult reading today.

All right, big fan from Lithuania! That's another one on the list that I gotta get to. You're a great comedian, it would be great if you ever decided to do your stand-up here in the Baltics. that will happen at some point in my career hopefully sooner rather than later all right the guy says I got at this dilemma can a woman forget your past as a nice guy one of my former classmates is coming back to my hometown on summer vacation for a few weeks and let's say I'd like to get intimate with her while she's here. Now the thing is when we were still in school I had a mad crush on this girl

for years. However shit didn't work out because I didn't know how the life works. How the females work and also I was a little bitch Mr. Nice Guy. I'd beat my younger self if that was possible. Alright, you're doing some good therapy here. But over the years that I've spent in our capital city, I can safely say that my view and attitude towards females and masculinity has changed significantly.

What do you think? Can a woman brush off the image of a nice guy or are you forever marked with the certain character traits in her eyes? Yeah, I think you're kind of fucked. Just put it this way, like take like the actor that played like Urkel or something like that. It's like your typecast, you know? And Urkel could literally become an army fucking ranger and then leave the military and when he went to go do a fucking action movie, they'd be, ah, fucking Urkel, give me a fucking break, right?

It just, the problem is what you gotta do, look, you always gotta take, you always gotta take a bat. What you're gonna have to do when you get up there, is you're gonna have to crowd the plate. No, I'm kidding. What you, I would just be, you're gonna have to be significantly different to raise any sort of intrigue in her. You know what I mean?

Because she probably just wants to meet up with you, have a couple of ciders or whatever that, whatever those drinks women have when they know that they're not gonna fuck you. You know, one of those fucking, I want to feel warm. You know, they have that stupid sweater that covers their hands too

and they drink it with both hands out of a mug. You know, and it's just fucking over, right? They're like, you know, hitting more on the waiter than they're gonna even listen to you. You're gonna have to like, I don't know. I don't know what you got to do. Go buy yourself a Raiders of the Lost Ark leather jacket. You got to try to come in and act

like you've been fucking doing. So this is the thing. This is what's gonna fuck you is you want this woman to bed alright you gotta not give a fuck don't be don't be a dick but just go in there just hey what's going on what even up to you know and then talk up some of

the shit you're doing you know I don't know look at your phone out is broad she's driving me crazy I got the ladies all over me I don't know I don't know dude it I don't know what to tell you on this one. Once you're typecast, it's fucking over, dude. You gotta go behind the camera here. You gotta start directing her some shit, because I don't know what to tell you.

You're, um, this is what I would do. Just know this, going into it, you're fucked. Alright? So there's no pressure. Who gives a shit? And uh, I don't know, make her laugh and just tell her, you're fucked. All right? So there's no pressure. Who gives a shit? And I don't know, make her laugh and just tell her, you know I always had a crush on you but I used to be a bitch but I'm not a bitch anymore. So what do you say? What do you say you come over here and jump on my fucking- no, you can't go that way.

But yeah, I would- yeah man, that's a tough one. That's a tough one. I, you know, maybe that's it. Just trash your former self. Yeah, I used to be a, I used to be a bitch, you know? I don't know how to do it, dude. You know what? You stumped me.

Somewhere in there. I think, I think the whole not giving a fuck and then trashing your former self and then just telling her that you had a crush on her. Who knows, dude? Maybe, I don't know there's a chance maybe she liked you back then or i don't know women got that thing though dude once you're the fucking friend it's it's over dude it's over you're you're fucking um oh the lovely nia nia know, we need you.

Me and this guy from Lithuania. I'll tell you really quickly, grab one of those cords. All right, Jesus. All right, as you're plugging in, I'll tell you, this guy basically in Lithuania, he used to be a bitch when he used to be Mr. Nice Guy. So he didn't get any of the nice nice, as Tracy Morgan would say, right? So he, um, whatever, he had a crush on this chick and she got put in the friend zone, as Chris Rock would say. I'm just going to quote every black

comedian here. And, um, you plugged in? There we go. And you're putting the windscreen on. And it's really loud and annoying to the listeners. Oh, I'm sorry, everybody. There we go. The lovely Nia, everybody. Hi. Yeah, so basically he had a crush on this girl. He was a nice guy. He got put in the friend zone. And now she's coming back to town. He's now lived in the city. He understands the male-female dynamic better.

Okay. And the way he's wording this, he's been doing all right for himself, but he still wants to bang this woman. His question is, once you're in the friend zone like that, is it possible to get out of it? Absolutely. It is? Oh wow, okay, because I was going like, I don't know, I was saying you're like typecast, you're like Urkel, and now you want to be the star of an action movie. You know, but yeah, no, I think you can, but it's all predicated on your behavior.

Like, you don't want to all of a sudden start acting like an aloof jerk or anything like that. So I told him to buy a Raiders of the Lost Ark waist-length leather jacket, maybe get a hat. And a whip. Is that bad? I just think maybe you're a little less available perhaps. You know, it can be a thing where she'll come to town and be like, oh my God, let's go here and da da da and I want to do this. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Well let me know when you're around, yeah maybe we can grab a drink or something. Keep it cash and don't go in there like,

so I've been fucking a lot abroad since you left. Not like that, but just as she's talking about her life, you talk about your life. Yeah, I've been seeing some girls here and there. I don't know, nothing too serious, but I've been having my fun. But anyway, what's going on with you? You look good. Like that.

Like, Nia, bam. That was good. Were you enjoying that just then, that little interaction? No, I'm enjoying the advice. Yeah, okay. That was good. Thank you. I was stammering.

I was like, you might have to just fuck. And I said, the best thing you got going is you know you got no shot. So just don't give a fuck and just go in there and just be like. But I think that's also true too. You have to not give, you can't go into it with expectations of anything. Yeah, you either fuck or you don't. I think you just be normal, be either fuck or you don't. I think you just be normal, be a friend like you have been, but I think

I have a friend who often gets friend-zoned and I'm always telling him that he needs to make himself less available because he always makes himself available. What does that do psychologically to women? Always. When you're less available. Because I have my theory and I know it'll be considered sexist, so I'll listen to yours instead. I think it's the same with men and women. If you're less available, like the people want you more. I think that's just how life is. People like the hunt. I think men like the hunt a little more. So I think you should be-

I never liked the hunt. Really? If someone was like a pain, I'd be like, oh, hey, I'd be like, eh, fuck. You're not a hunter? I was like, eh. You're more of a gatherer. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha fucking I'll just go rub one out and then I'll go watch a game and then you know something then I it's you're not worth the fucking trouble right you know

what I mean mm-hmm I just always found that like because I remember when I would just start to walk away and then these girls would be like no you're supposed to blah blah blah blah I was like yeah I was out I didn't I didn't get the script where am I in like some fucking awful play right now? Right. I walked away from a lot. My number could have been so much higher. I should have chased.

I didn't chase, I just tapped out. I'd be like, oh yeah, if you don't want to. I understand, you know? I wouldn't fuck me either. Oh honey. Oh no, don't say that about yourself. People like you. All right. A Bill no, don't say that about yourself. People like you. All right.

A Bill Dill Pickle. I love a good sandwich. My question to you is, if you were a sandwich, what type of sandwich would you be? I think you already answered this one. If you could eat only one sandwich for the rest of your life, what would you be? All right, Nia, remind the listeners what kind of

sandwich you think I am. I once compared you to a grilled cheese sandwich, but the thing about it is... You said you were about as exotic as a grilled cheese sandwich. I was talking about that if if I ever went to prison, the fact that I was a redhead for the first time in my life, I might be considered exotic. Yeah, I thought you were grossly overestimating. I was joking about the fact of how quickly I would be sexually assaulted in there. And you had to remind me that I'm a plain Jane. There wasn't even tomatoes on that fucking grilled cheese sandwich.

You'd think with the hair I would have got something. Fuck. All right. So what sandwich would you like to eat for the rest of your I know the sandwich that I could. This sounds like this question came out of Cosmo. If you were a sandwich, what kind of sandwich would you be? If you could only eat one sandwich

for the rest of your life, what would it be? No, we would never ask each other what kind of sandwich we'd want to be. We'd be like, what kind of dress are you? A classic little black dress? A cocktail dress? Or a gown for the Oscars, like that. Well, what about for the bigger girls?

Guys ask us. What about for the bigger girls? What about the bigger girls? Are you a car cover with spaghetti straps? Stop. Stop. Well, I didn't like how they're just feeding your fucking egos like you're all these pro- You know what?

I get what they're doing. They're trying to sell magazines. Anyway, what kind of sandwich would you be? Velveeta. If I was a pair of pants, I'd be Clam Diggers. I saw like four or five guys wearing those fucking things. Oh, this weekend? Yeah.

Like those guys who have the Hitler Youth haircuts and then they're just walking around with their calves up. In the fucking airport. It's just the funniest thing ever. I don't know why it's not so susceptible to just point at their legs and start laughing. It's just me. All right, I love a good sandwich too. Okay. Um, or would I be, uh,

I don't know my freckles and all that. I'd probably be a lobster roll. Lobster? Yeah. A crab roll. No, you're going to look all fucking white with red blotches in a day old bun. That'd be my sciatic nerve problem. I'm a mess. It's true.

Like there are certain white people, they definitely take on the hue of a boiled lobster when they have too much sun. That would be me. If you, okay. You'd be a turkey sandwich. Cause you like turkey sandwiches. Yeah, but that's not me.

You're not? No, turkey sandwich. You know, people get excited and they're happy when turkey comes around. You know what I mean? I think you're a turkey sandwich because you're like, reliable. Don't ever say that again. I think you're a turkey sandwich.

You're reliable, you're satisfied. And when I talk, I make you go to sleep. Exactly. When consumed, I make you sleepy. All right. If you could only eat one sandwich, Nia, for the rest of your life, what would it be? This feels like a Lifetime movie. Is a Philly cheesesteak considered a sandwich? Because you know, that's my all time favorite of all time. Well, I mean, it's not considered breakfast. No, it's considered a cereal. All right. So yeah, Philly cheesesteak.

Yeah, hero is a sandwich, right? Whatever the fuck they call. Yeah, yeah a hero sandwich So yeah, if I could eat one sandwich rest of my life, I'd eat a peanut butter sandwich with butter Peebee be in jail. Yeah, that's what I would have with a glass of fucking milk. Wait, you have jelly on it though What do you know? I don't get fat You put jelly on your fucking if I could have one one, just one for the rest of my fucking life. Well, I don't have to eat it every day. Well, no, not every day, but the only sandwich, when you're in the mood for a sandwich, you can only eat this particular sandwich.

I don't know. An Italian sub? You like Italian sandwiches. Nah, then they put the oil all over it, it feels like the bread's sweaty. You don't always have to get the podcast. This is funny. You bastard. Love the podcast mate. Have been following your shenanigans for nearly eight years. Hustle for tickets when you get here to London. I got my birthday on the 3rd of August and will be cruising through to your gig on the 5th. Caught you a couple years ago and gave you a cigar after the show at the Roundhouse in

Camden. Who knows, maybe you smoked it. Of course I did. Okay, so help me with this kind of weird dilemma of mine. Here's the deal, I'm 6'2", 6'3", on a good day. He's feeling good about himself. He stands up straight. And I'm fairly trim.

However, due to my love of cake pie and all things donut I've packed I've packed on a mass in one specific area my belly Oh god, that's the classic European fucking body You know, yeah, they got those seventh-grader arms and then they just got the fucking fish and chips belly I feel like they're generally a thinner people but but they like their pubs and they like their... Yeah, they're thinner, because I think their food is higher quality, but they just don't go to the gym over there.

They walk around a lot though. All right. My brother loves it. They've nicknamed me Big Belly Bigsby. Call back to Chappelle's Clayton Bigsby. And I've become used to giving it a good old-fashioned slap from time to time. My lady loves it too.

She rubs it, wants to fill up with her rabbit food. She's vegan, whatever, etc., etc. It's a mindfuck. Subverts the whole guy's gotta have a pack vibe. You losing me here. Anyways, I'm gonna keep on going Michelangelo on this bitch and getting into shape at the risk of losing The failsafe laughter of the day. What do you think? Yeah, dude

You don't be the fat guy who slaps his belly like a fucking walrus looking for a mate And if you don't get it under control, it's gonna get bigger and bigger and it's gonna be bad for your health So trust me your girlfriend might love the belly right now, but she's going to really love that six pack. Oh really? What if she's insecure? She's worried that he's going to go out and fucking start doing the full Monty someplace.

They can both work and get the six pack together, although she might already have it since she's a vegan. And obviously- You know that never happens. And to keep what? Couples can never work out. I don't like, yeah, I'm not into it, but. Remember when we tried to work out? And I was just yelling, you push it out!

Remember that? No, we never worked out together like that. We would go to the gym together and then we separate. That's what we always do. We go to a party. What do we do? We go in different directions. In separate ways, yeah. Yeah. I came here to have a good time. Not to be. Not to be, yeah. I came here to have a good time. Not to be. Not to be with the person I live with. I came here to- I live with you. I don't need to hang out with you at this party.

So what's going on with you in this new environment? All right, I have- Yeah, no, your girlfriend's gonna love the six pack, so keep at it. And to keep a belly just so people can slap it around so you can be that guy at the party, after a while, yeah, that's pathetic. It's better to get shredded and be, you know,

real Michelangelo. Yeah, and then you get to walk around being a dick, being aloof, you know? Every time people talk to you, you pretend you're looking at something down the street with your fucking eyebrows up. Sorry, man, I just gotta keep on moving. You know, I'm like a shark. Did you talk about that poster?

Uh, yeah. No, I missed it. Yeah. The guy actually brought up a bunch of great points, which is, Oh, I don't know if you want to go back and read it. Um, I can't, I don't remember. He was just saying that. Well, no, if he was like, hold, here's was like here's one that I made if he was holding up Hugh Jackman Would that increase the chances of guys fighting other guys? I? Don't think it's about like increasing like influencing people to do it. It's just like it's just not well They said it it isn't a great look I actually I don't think that it's a good poster, But I would say that I don't think it promotes violence against women. I don't I wouldn't think so either But although I'm not trying to speak for blue women though. That's right

They can speak for themselves. No, I don't know. I saw that poster and I first of all couldn't tell It was a woman. But if I was like well versed in that whole thing, I would be like, oh, that's such-and-such character Yeah, I don't I don't know but I think it's probably best that they they're all in the other different poster I was saying they're all named after like discontinued Cologne's like what mystique? apocalypse Just sounds like it's like whoever came up with Zima then tried to get into Cologne and it all fucking bombed. Right? Listen I unfortunately got

to stop the podcast because I got to go to work. All right thank you guys for listening and I'll let you guys know about those pre-sales for the upcoming dates in Ireland. And thank you to everybody that's been buying tickets in Scotland, in Amsterdam, in London, and a second show in London, Nene. That's so great. Yeah, and I found a Sagaba where I can fucking smoke a stick after. I love that town.

Nice big picture of fucking, I don't know, Winston Churchill or some shit would be wonderful. Right? We fight on the land. We have identity. We will never surrender. Is that Winston Churchill? That's Iron Maiden. Alright, with Winston Churchill at the front.

I think Ace is high, I believe it was. Alright. Go fuck yourselves. I'll check in on you on Thursday. The Oh, Lordy glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, His truth is marching on