Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 7-13-23

Episode Date: July 13, 2023

Bill rambles with Nate Craig about the mid-west, touring together, and his new special LIVE AT THE GREEN MILL. Nate's Special: https://youtu.be/pUOHgj78tRU Nate on Tour:   Last Best Comedy in Bozeman, MT 7/21-22 Rumor's Comedy Club in Winnipeg, Manitoba 7/25-29  

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday Monday morning podcast and I'm just checking in on you the double point. The double point, what does that mean? What does that mean? Does it mean I just had too much coffee and I'm overly excited or does it mean I have a special guest? If you said all of the above, you would be right. I just said a double espresso and one of the best flat whites I've ever had. And my guest, this serves the afternoon, is one of my favorite standout comedies.

I don't know if I've ever told you that. Why? I just think you're, before you fucking start talking with your Midwest all Shucks, Horset from Wisconsin. We got Nate Craig who has a new special out called Live at the Green Mill gorgeously shot special top notch material. You can watch it for free on youtube.com slash

ATC. Please welcome. Nate Craig everybody. Nate Craig double point. Bounce. That's what it's all about. Also caffeinated. Also caffeinated. Also caffeinated.

Where do you go? Man, I was at my house. I made me a- Man, I didn't even get out of the fucking house. Man, I'm only a guy I ever met. I'm only a guy I ever met. Got my own coffee bean. That's right.

We did a gig a long time ago when we were just on the road, middle of nowhere. Some airport somewhere. Yeah, and we just started doing this redneck character that was just talking shit. It was some dude in the airport. I think I flew and I and when we both landed, I was like, you this guy, it was just burned into my head. I'm gonna go only guy ever met. I'm the only guy ever met with anything. I mean, don't guy ever met had a basketball that went to two counties. Just telling fairytale about himself. The only guy ever met. I'm only I ever met. I'll let you know what I mean another, that's equal to my stature.

I love, who did I see recently? Why? I just saw someone was like talking shit just over nothing. That's when it's funny to me. If you actually really do something great, just shut up. Why would you talk shit about it? That makes it even better. Like when Barry Sanders would just break everybody's ankle in the secondary, sorry, Packers fan, score a touchdown,

and then just hand the ball to the ref. Like, you know, his wife told him to get milk and eggs. Oh, here you go, honey. Just that easy. But if you sit there, I feel like, and you know, when you tug on your jersey and you do that 300 yell. For an almost first down.

Well, then you're also, yeah, but you're also pissing off the defense and they're going to get a little, you know, get a little, be in their bonnet. They're going to try a little harder. But when you, when you act like it isn't shit, I feel it's demoralizing. Well, so they know more is common. No offense taken to it. Watching Barry Sanders run through the Packers was, that was some of the most, him and Randy Moss.

Was it my two? He destroyed the Patriots so bad. Like, we never play them. They're in the NFC. We play them once every three years in his career. He fucked us so bad that it's part of his permanent highlight reel. We have a corner where he faked him out so bad. He was running in the same direction as Barry.

He looks over this shoulder. Barry goes over there. He looks over there. He went like right by him. It was like an F1 pass, well the guy's trying to block it, it was useless. Yeah, those are the best. Though that's the easiest greatest of all time argument

in my mind. What's that? Running back. Barry Sanders. Barry Sanders, there's nobody like Barry Sanders. Barry Sanders played on dog shit teams for 10 years. Yes. Eight straight two thousand yard Season or something like that couldn't take it anymore. I was just like play 10 years rush for 15,000 and change and just decided

You know to walk away, which was the smart move now you seen with like CTE and I that was I was talking to something about that Like the all-time rushing record by Emmett Smith is one of the safest records like no one's ever gonna touch that You just don't get the carries anymore. Yeah, nobody's doing that. Yeah, they turned them all into Roger Craig Who was ahead of his time third downbacks Receiving backs receiving backs possession running backs. That's right You got hands like a wide receiver now I'm talking about and that's what I always liked about your comedy hands like a wide receiver That's a great analogy bill. I'm like you said that no this like dude like I'm talking about. And that's what I always liked about your comedy. Hands like a wide receiver. That's a great analogy, Bill.

I'm glad you said that. No, like I'm telling you, anytime you open for me, people always go, oh my God, how come I don't know about this guy? This is a guy you have to know about. I'm not just blowing with smoke, dude. Your whole style and the level of your comedy is, I'm not gonna do this for 45 minutes

if you're gonna be uncomfortable here. I'm just beyond respect you as a standup comedian. Today, I'll take it. Okay, today I consider myself the most underrated person with a special that's coming, that is out right now on youtube.com slash ATC. Nate Craig, live at the Green Mill. Two specials, my second ATC special.

Thank you for having me. All right. I'm talking on, we're selling this one. I know, I know. Not sure other franchise. I know. This one's better, because I mean, well, you did it. So, this is, we taped it at the Green Mill,

that you guys, thank you. This is awesome. Who's the director? Because it's gorgeous. Absolutely. My buddy Hunter's Conor Herms is from Madison. Hunter Conor Herms. Hunter Conor's Herms is the name.

That sounds like a first round wide receiver that doesn't pan out. That high, anytime a receiver has a hyphenated last name. He's gonna love that. He has, he already has like a fucking torn meniscus that went undiagnosed. He's incredibly talented. Him and the director of photography was Jack Waley,

both Madison and Wisconsin guys, but came down all business. All business. Just like Aaron Rogers. Well, we got the Green Mill. Did I ever tell you the special about how we got the event? Because nobody's ever shot there before. If you haven't been in the Green Mill,

it's incredible. It's a famous jazz club in Chicago. It's founded in 1907. It's Capone's old spot. Used to escape from people trying to murder him through the tunnel in the stage. Do every fucking place in fucking Chicago was Capone's old spot.

Yes. Anything in Kansas City, I was in Buffalo, and yeah, Capone used to have this place. Oh, when we were in Peoria, right? He used to come down to Peoria and that... Kansas City, Peoria in Buffalo. I played an old supper club, and they were like, he's one of Capone's joints,

and you see, they got the escape fucking tunnels. They had them down there too, and they were all like, break up, that guy. That guy... That guy's real estate portfolio. If he had just paid taxes on it. You had to... And warn a condom. You had to dig tunnels.

Yeah, he did. Don't you want a vault? No, no, no, no, I don't. So, but this one's real. Billet holes in the wall, the whole nine, I mean, it's incredible. So we got to shoot there. The, I had ATC call him and I think he thought,

he's just like a,, no email kind of guy. Like he's just like, and I think he thought he was talking, because movies shoot there, James Conn thief, that was shot there, like, was that shot there? We just watched that movie two months ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so like he's used to, he's used to big things trying to get a hold of him.

And nobody's ever shot a special there, so I gave it to ATC. I think he thought he was talking to, he's used to big things trying to get a hold of him. And nobody's ever shot a special there. So I gave it to ATC. I think he thought he was talking to like a network, like a big, you know, big money and he was Hollywood type shit as opposed to like, you know, what goes like us. With this, well, I see what you say. Make that everybody.

Well, I mean in this day and age, when the, you know, the writer's guild is striking for all the right reasons. We got to make the distinction between ATC and your behemoths, your corporate-owned behemoths. He thought he was talking to one of those. He gave some ridiculous price and Mike comes back to me. It's too much. I was like, all right, well, that's not a no, but I had gotten his phone number.

I called him myself. I was like, hey, man, I just want to let you know. Nate Craig, not afraid to walk up to the pretty girl in the bar. Okay, so you go back. Not afraid to cross the line. And they got this show on Saturday, which is one of the best shows in America. Paper machete, it's called Saturday Afternoon Show, standing room only in Chicago. These people come out for paper machete.

Yeah, it's a live magazine. So it was paper machete. And so I call him and I was like, hey man, I just want to let you know, you know, I'm doing this special with Bill Burr's company and shooting at your spot will be a dream come true. But if nothing more, I just wanna let you know, you got a great show there on Saturdays. The producers are doing a great job.

Your bar is the best, I've always loved it. And you go, yeah, you know, I'm a book through the middle of the next year. And I just can't give you guys a weekend. And I can't do it. You know, I got, I got to cancel my accident at this night. And I'm like, yeah, no, no, I get it. I got, I got to cancel my ex and I know this night. And I'm like, yeah, no one, I get it. I get it.

I'm just, I'm shooting this special and I'm gonna find a place but I just wanna let you know, sorry for bothering you. I wanna say how much I respect you in your place. Oh, you're the guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I would be, it's, it's shooting my special. Oh, you're the guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's just my special.

Oh, well, you know, I can give you an off night or something like that. I just can't cancel my other ex, you know, I can give you an off night or something like that. I just can't sell my other ex, you know, I can give you like a Wednesday or Sunday. I was like, can you give me Wednesday June 1st? It's just I don't see why not. Dondeo came down from the number he had given us 90% and just gave it to me because I was some schmuck call it

with that cross the line and call them on his cell phone. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Or milkshake. No, no, malt. Malt. Gotta be malt. Gotta be. Cause they don't do that on these coasts. Well, call so custard. In Wisconsin, it's that extra, it's custard. I don't know about it. I am not a custard.

You got to put eggs in it. No, no, no, no, it's just, it's just, it's just, you just gotta go full heart attack. Gotta go full blown cardiac arrest, buddy. I gotta be honest with you. I've been doing this thing. And yes, I have lost some weight. Thank you for not noticing. Your streamline, though, I'm not gonna bullshit you, No, that's not. I've been doing this thing. And yes, I have lost some weight. Thank you for not noticing.

You're streamlined, Bill. I'm not gonna bullshit you. You're ready for the Olympics. Before you do this, before you get off milkshake, I have the first time I ever worked with you. Do you remember this? It was the week your roof cave then. And we had, I mean, we knew each other.

We weren't quite friends yet. And we were driving from Madison to Milwaukee. And your roof cave then, and you're calling your contact, and you're calling your wife, and you were furious. And like, I mean, you were three, I won't point three. I was, I was the car. I went Ryan Leif. Dude, you went Ryan Leif versus a beat reporter,

and I'm like, because my house was literally collapsing, washing down the mountain. And nobody that was home in the house knew what to do Yeah, and I'm like go up the fucking ladder fucking do something like put a fucking bucket in over the whole and Something and they're all there. Well, I mean, it's just the waters wet and it's gonna get on the ladder Yeah, and oh yeah, that was what the water was wet. That was okay. This is what the fuck happened Oh, this still pisses me off. Oh, no hold on. Let's let's not go down

So you get see that's the thing you get I will fucking you get whipped you you spiral look So anyway long story short long story short. I'm just wait There's where there's no GPS. I'm just pointing exit here exit here. You're fucking what are you at? Ah, and then you fucking to drown, you get us to the, honey, we got it. Get up the fucking ladder! And make something happen, get to, we go to cops, frozen cussed,

it's in Brookfield there outside of Milwaukee. We go to cops, pull over, I order your milkshake, you're still, now you're yelling at the contractor, you're mid conversation, I hand you the milkshake, and I just like go out and I'm like, I make a phone call or something, I come back, you're like, I know, well, no, no, no, no. And then you're like, hey did this milkshake's fantastic.

Yeah, no, no, I'm, you got to remember that at all. Do you remember that? Cause it was a blind rage. Now let me tell you what happened. It was a blind rage. You're blind. Let me tell you what happened.

I'm surprised you remember anything. Okay, we bought this great old house. I love old shit. It's a fucking disease to love old shit because it always needs to be repaired. So one of the front rooms Was Nia's office, all right. I love Nia like the best yes, Cheetah. I just love her and it was her office and I wanted it, you know had this awful fucking rug that somebody stapled onto the hardwood floors from, you know, I'm the 70s. You had also got the floors done.

So you get the floors done. The roof caves and the rains going through the roof. So this what happened. So I have the rug's taken up. The I get this fucking guy. He with little love the wood glue and whatever the fuck it is. Dowls he, you know, all the staples get those all done. Sand system and just shellac system. It's fucking gorgeous. It's a beautiful warm-room creative space

For my lovely wife. Okay, meanwhile of course, you know, I buy the house and needs a new fucking roof So whatever reason these old houses they some of them don't This one did not have like an attic. It had more of a crawl space, okay? And there was a crawl space and then there was like a hatch and you could go up on to the roof. We were up there, we used to watch the fireworks and fourth of July up there. So for whatever reason, back in the day in the 1920s,

the drain spouts, you know, they'd have the corner of the roof, right, they would lean it down like that and they would drain into these spouts. See spouts for whatever reason, they ran them into the crawl space and then back out the front of the house. So there's this precarious moment with all the water on the roof for like three feet,

goes down like a J-trap almost and then like you see these things coming outside the house. It never made any fucking sense So when these guys just for looks I don't know why so when these guys went to go redo the roof They unhook the fucking thing And they never they hook the other one back up. They never hooked this one up You move the gray headstones, but you didn't move the bodies Why the poltergeist.

First fucking rainstorm we have, Niagara Falls. It went right into the house, pulled, collapsed to ceiling, all over that gorgeous hardboard floor, and kept going down. Oh, buddy. Into the fucking bootleg bullshit. This guy was like a photographer, there was like a developed camera room in there and something, I mean, I can give a fuck about that.

And it was all of this money I just spent it. And then I knew with those guys, we're gonna say, they came over and they go, oh, gee, there's a problem, my damn, like you guys didn't know, oh no, we hooked it back up, there's nothing. I just said, get the fuck outta here. Just get the fuck outta here.

And that ended up turning into redoing that room and then having then remodeling that ended up turning into like a fucking year and a half of my life And my first time dealing with contractors where they're great about showing up the first day and gutting your house And then you're fucked and then they get home with the 17 other jobs they have yet and it's always like today We're installing this and then they install it next is that All right, well, when are we gonna do that? I have to order it. It's like can you fucking pre order? Yeah, cuz this is this is when you know it's like a flip or like the builder is doing it There's two houses in my neighborhood that both started being redone Okay, one of them is fucking done already. The other one looks like they

just started fucking three months ago. And that's the difference between a private person hired a contract as opposed to a guy that flips houses for a fucking living. When they flip houses for a living, it's just bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. The contractors is business partners. Yes, and they fucking get those things done in like, you know, 90 days. And these other things, it's like 90 years. So that's what ended up happening. And then there was the, oh my god, then it was the insurance companies. And I still had a mortgage and the insurance chip came and it was made out to me and my mortgage company.

I had to sign the money over to them. And then they had to inspect each level to make sure that I was spending the money on the house and not just keeping it and having a keg party because they fucked everybody over. They fucked the entire country over. And people were so upside down in their houses, they were like, well, what the fuck's the point of fixing this? I'll just go, you know, I'm never gonna make my money back.

It didn't make sense. So then they grabbed you by the back of the neck. This was my insurance. My insurance money. I paid the premium. This bank has nothing to do with it. And this is all of this shit that these politicians with red and blue ties,

both sign off on, because the insurance companies in the banks will put these cuts and keep them in fucking, oh, keep them in fucking office. So I had to sign this fucking thing over like a little kid when my checking count was balanced. They should be asking me for fucking tips rather than talking to me like I'm some fucking eight-year-old,

you know, who just got a bag of candy and you gotta make sure, you know, I don't eat it all in one sitting. Oh, Nate, why would you bring that? You should have showed up at that company with a bunch of guys with clipboards. You wanna show us your books here? Hey, Citibank.

That, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, it's, it's like, I never that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, you know, with the, how crazy they get over a joke that somebody says or a book that comes out or a fucking whatever. Some guy with a fucking AK, whatever the fuck those guns are, does a little rant on the thing like on Instagram, like how much they flip out of, oh my god, what's happening to America? And then these fucks can do whatever they want and then give themselves a bonus in the end.

Like, some I joke about my podcast. I always love like when you're in the corporate world, what you always blame is the shareholders. Well, pressure from the shareholders above, above, above, but then at the end of the year, when they just give themselves a hundred million dollar bonus, it's like, well, what do the shareholders think about that? Cause that's all our fucking money that you just stole.

Mm-hmm. A bonus? You just took it. I don't know. No, I'm with you about it. What are we talking about? We talking about a stand-up special here? We're talking about your crawl space

that filled up like a car you drove off a bridge. And yes, now we're talking about my stand-up special. No, I hear you, buddy. I don't understand how we let them get away with it, but it's just easier to go after your neighbor than it is to go after to find the it's a soft top. City bank, corporate headquarters.

Yeah, soft top. Good luck getting into that industrial park with a guy whose two pay was his orange, it's my beard who claimed he was gonna drain the swamp. Remember that? It's a funny thing ever. To be neck deep in the swamp that you're saying, you're gonna fucking, and that goes for Biden too.

I'm not, there's no partisan politics here, buddy. Well, to be fair, they wouldn't let him in the swamp after a while. Nobody would loan a money anymore. Well, that's the thing. Yeah. That's the thing you declare bankruptcy enough fucking types. Yeah.

But he's great at business. He only options the Russian mob. He's great at business. That guy's great at business. He only options the Russian mom. He's great at business. That guy's great at business. Hey, he wrote the book. Yeah. He wrote the book. I'll tell you, you know what,

when they put his name on a hotel, though, that places the shit. And liberals have to get over that, too. You gotta stand, he's not in there and he doesn't own the hotel. He's like a Kardashian. He didn't even get a good brand. He didn't even get a good deal on the sign.

That's the, I think the, I like the Trump sign. It's just like him, it's blunt. It's not, it's not scriptive, it's just Trump. Fuck you or whatever. I do love his dancing. I saw there was a fucking, oh my God. Are you just this thing? You get some knees going?

I fucking love that shit. I like that he sucks at dancing and totally has confidence. That's always, I can't hate that part of him. It's the perfect dance for those crowds. Dude, it's a perfect dance for me. No, don't, anything. He's not hurting anybody, he's just dancing. Anything to keep from moving your legs.

No, he does move the legs. He's got a little fucking, he's got a little like, like, anything that he does, it was just kind of, he can, it's like, it's almost the Conan dance. The Conan dance. Oh man. He doesn't like this, but the two fist and the, yeah, but I will tell you this, though,

he's gonna stop doing it, because once somebody said it looks like he's given a double hand job, I'm calling, he's gonna stop doing it because once somebody said it looks like he's given a double hand job. I'm calling, he's gonna stop because I remember, I used to love when he did this because I love the fucking dual hand job, fucking dance, it's hilarious, but I always used to love when he would do his show

and he'd be like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know what, you fired and he would go like that and people started saying, I don't know, it's like a cobra, it's like, it's like, then he stopped doing it. He stopped doing it, like he doesn't like's like, then he stopped doing it. He stopped doing it. He doesn't like being made fun of like that, you know? Yeah, he's a...

Paul Basterman, you just see the sad childhood of no hugs with that guy. Ooh, yeah, it's whatever. I don't feel, I don't feel bad. Pitting kids against each other. They're guys the worst. But here's what we need. This is what I'm excited about.

But thank God we've replaced him with a fucking warmonger with dementia. This, that guy's the worst. This is what we need. about. But thank God we've replaced him with a fucking warmonger with dementia. That guy's the worst. This is what we need. No, timeout. These last two guys are the two worst people that have ever been fucking president in my life. Neither one of them are presidential material.

It's like a fucking joke. All right. So, we've both elected a fucking jerk off. All I want is somebody sane in this next one. Like Biden has to just put him in a fucking home. Like I should be sitting on a porch somewhere. Yeah. He can't even finish his speech to it.

He clearly- They put sunglasses on him. So when he starts freaking out where he doesn't know where he is, that'll make the stock market plunge. He clearly knows. You can't have the president like giving a basic speech about fucking whatever and all of something like.

He does get a scary look in his eye when he goes up on his lines, but I clearly knows his way around the government. I mean, because he gets legislation passed. All right, that's the thing. I can't handle. He does? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Still.

That guy, you think that that guy's actually remembering. Oh, they just got Sweden and Natal. But I'm saying he did that that He did not do it. I mean I can't with you guys no no no, I can't look if you if you're got you look you've got to sit there to say Trump's a jerk If you can't sit in and act like Biden no no no, though should be driving anything I've never I never I never I never forgave him for vote for Iraq war I'm not even gonna fucking I'm not even gonna go there. Okay. Don't go. Don't go. We your driver from LAX. There is are you looking at your phone? Are you fucking looking at him the whole way? Don't make sure he doesn't take it down to San Diego. The good news is I don't think you can press the gas pedal very hard

The thing about he'd lighty and tell you that he could the thing about this is what I need this is what I really want I was last in my class and put my foot on the accelerator. Now I'm first out of this. This is what I want out of this Trump candidacy this time around. This is what we need as a country. Because I have to say dancing. Everybody's saying Dessannis is cooked. We need, who's, is that the Florida guy? The Florida guy, Florida man. We need Florida man to get enough of the primary vote so that he overtakes Trump a little bit and then Trump says that the Republican primary is rigged. And when he does that, everybody's going to click on their head and be like, Oh, he's doing this shit again.

But I use my question. I can't blame the Democrats. This is inside the Republican party. There's no difference between them. I'm just saying, it simplifies it. Bill, I'm just trying to keep it in one yard. If he's saying that everything's rigged, which is horse shit, you don't want to lose elections, don't nominate the most hateable guy in the history of the country. If he's saying everything's rigged, it's been, I just, it is rigged.

I don't think there's any question that More people voted against that. What about? Bernie Sanders very why are we talking about is about how many times is Bernie Sanders have to fucking win the Democratic fucking nomination. They don't even give it to him. I know I know. These are the liberals. Yeah, you got to stolen from We got to fucking with the people and I care so my heart breaks for the walruses They're fucking they for the walrus. They're fucking, they're the same people. I still like the game of it. If I have to, stomach it, I wanna see,

this is what I wanna see the right play. And the hilarious problem. Let's get out of this. I wanna ask you this. It's gonna be when Trump says that DeSanis has rigged the primary. Watch that, That's fun. Why is Bill Walton's 30 for 30 as long as Michael Jordan's the last dance?

Wow. Is it? I didn't even watch it. I didn't watch it. Is it all narrated by Bill Walton? Yeah, and it's just like how many times have you taken elbow to the bridge of your nose? I didn't even watch it. Who can reach? Who can reach his nose? But it is interesting. I mean, I don't want to get on ginger on ginger hate here. This isn't what I'm saying. It does. Sounds can reach? Who can reach his nose? But it is interesting. I mean, I don't want to get on ginger, on ginger, hate here. This isn't what I'm trying to do.

Sounds like that's the direction you're going. I don't know. I just, I don't have knees. You're not a knees. No, it wasn't. It is feet. Feet knees, probably above. I feel that guy.

I feel like something happened to you on the way to Portland. When you get drafted by the blazers, you're fine. And on the way there, something happens to you on the way to Portland. When you get drafted by the blazers, you're fine and on the way there is something happens to your knees or your feet too much hiking There's something about the the angle that they have a raked sort of angle at the airport when you land they got topography Is that what it is? They got a little they got a little topagger filter Stepping over all those tie-died homeless people up there. Maybe you can be, I mean, dude, they bill Walton, Sam Bowie,

and he never even played in the NBA. The guy from Ohio State. Greg Odin, thank you. Nice Paul Aaron. Yeah, Odin, yeah. Unreal. Like what are the fucking odds? Every time they get the number one pick.

Yeah, yeah, that's tough. I would pull a Kobe and be like, I'm not playing there. I'm not going up there. I'm not going there. I'm just going to, there's something like, you know, the Ghost Hunters show that they always have, you know, when they try to find the ghosts, they got to figure out what's going on. When you get drafted as a big man, when the Portland Trailblazers have the number one

pick, although, uh, big red got him a championship. He did do that. What about subonus? Subonus was a nice big man underrated. That Portland team. They had some good doctorate. That Portland team beat those Lakers, those Kobe shack Lakers, five games out of seven games.

That team was great. They had Steve Smith. They had who else do they have on that team? That team was low. That team was loaded and subonusita sub bonus down low just dish and I mean he was doing globe trotter shit is big 100 this is a great head this this this year the NBA was great. I mean seen the fucking nuggets in there just something different I love it. It's great. Nobody makes He that guy Yoke

What's the name Joke? Yoke? what's his name, Joke? Yoke, he makes that fucking basket. He shoots like he's throwing a paper airplane into a football stadium. That thing just lands so effortlessly. And then I love watching that guy play ball. And that team was loaded. Yeah, I was happy.

No problem with a nuggets championship. Yeah. I won't say the way he moves after a while is going like, is he really faking people out with, I mean, he doesn he moves after a while is going like is he really Faking people out with I mean he doesn't look like it's not smooth. It's not smooth. It's very Larry bird It's not where it's going in but it doesn't look good. I don't even know what sport it looks like What's part does it look like though? We don't think that we send back and forth Which is I mean if they started showing this on ESPN that fucking ping pong dude

He sends me these clips and he goes look what I did to you in the second round of the Beijing whatever and these fucking guys Why you don't talk to me anymore. Oh my god dude That in the badminton shit. I'll say there's two fucking sports bad In Asia right now that if they add them over here. they could, oh my god. Revolutionized sports fandom period. The, the fuck, like dude, these guys are like 30 feet from the table. Nobody's rigging a badminton game. Wham!

With, with the, what I love about badminton is the ultimate changeup. It's coming out, you're like 200 miles an hour and then it's, it comes off the racket at like 140 and then it's falling to the earth all soft and shit. Just like in baseball, the emergency swing when you think you're guessing fastball

and it's a change up and you gotta do that and everybody in the dugout laughs at you. Like that is an entire sport of that. Like what do you just ride out the speed until it gets to mid-70s? You're like, all right, I know what it's doing. Why did racket sports not take over America? What's our problem, Bill?

What is the psychology? It's always, no, it's, it's, it's all, it's just marketing. Like the best shit doesn't always go to the, what it is is the best thing that's market, whatever's marketed, it's a bad. My family had a bad mint and set, your family, the birds had a bad mint and set.

God damn, we did. We did. You had fucking 13 brothers running around that house. You guys didn't have a badminton tournament? You know, I think killed it is the object that you hit's called a birdie. That's the birdie. And it's just like, you know, America,

you know our history, this is gangs in New York over here. This was a smash and grab. All right, so you can't let you fucking guard down. If you start fucking playing a sport that has birdie and you got the Kennedy zone one side and the Capone zone the other, you don't know what's gonna happen. You need to call it the pussy or the bitch

or something derogatory. Yeah, it's got, yeah, something like that. Something, something, throw a little misogyny in there and it's a little anger, a little hate. Well, at the turn of the last century, the two number one. You might lose, but you're still beating up this little bitch right here.

Right. Well, at the turn of the last century, the two number one sports was boxing and horse racing. And then I think everybody got cars. So horses just, I don't know what happened to them. They kind of fell off. Right? And then baseball started coming along and they were doing great.

And then the white socks fixed the 1919 World Series. They were in trouble. But then fortunately Babe Ruth came along and they literally built a stadium around his skill set. I will say that is the only fucking guy in the history of baseball. Literally had a stadium built around where he had to Yeah, there's this photo. I can't find it. I saw one time Aaron.

If you can find this thing, there is a picture of the original right field wall. If you were backing up to fucking catch the fly ball and you didn't know where it was, it would hit you the back of your knees or mid thighs and you would have fell over it. It was a little chain link fence. I mean, you would think that they had daisies

on the other side. Just keep off the grass while we're re-growing the grass. That's what it was. It's a booby trap for any of you. Yeah, I'm not selling it. I'm just saying. It's just, you know, just what it is. Well, horse race, I mean, that's interesting.

No, I don't think horse racing went away. It's just that there's more people and not all of them have enough money to own horses or bat on horses. Well, I think back in the day, though, it like having a badass horse was like having a badass car. So like, my horse is better than your horse. Let's have a race and it kind of developed out of that shit.

And then I just think after a while it became my car is better than your car. So all the super like the casual, super wealthy fan of it and it became sort of a degenerate sport except for like the Kentucky Derby or like the pregness and the majors. You go to the majors, everybody dresses up and they act like they care about their children, right?

And then out here putting their fucking tuition on the line, on fucking C-biscuit or whatever, right? But then like those other ones, when you just go to the track, if you go to the track, I mean, it's almost like something, you don't, is it even legal in every state? Horse racing? There's a track out in Pasadena.

Right. I know that. I don't think, I don't remember there being a horse track in Wisconsin. Dog tracks. Dog tracks, yeah. Well then also PETA came along and they're like, you know. Who's the thing? Well, yeah, stop beating the shit out of the horses and stuff. Right, and it was so.

There's a, I don't understand people that get into a line of business with animals and they abuse the animals. You know, I get abusing the customers. It's like the studios. It's like the studios. It's like the studios. It's like the studios. It's like the studios.

It's like the studios. It's like the studios. It's like the studios. It's like the studios. It's like the studios. It's like the studios. It's like the studios. It's like the studios.

It's like the studios. It's like the studios. It's like the studios. It's like the studios. It's like the studios. It's like the studios. It's like, the shit comes out from the studios, like, we're just gonna wait them out until they start, you know, getting kicked out of their apartments. Why are you in this business? You wanna act like that? Go sell petroleum, you shithead. What are you doing in this business?

No, it's, what are you acting like? This is a decent business. Every business is like this. I'm not, I don't have any fantasies, but at the same time, I don't understand why you wouldn't. It's undervalued. Making the people that make your product happy is just undervalued. I don't know how it went away. They separated themselves.

Like they hired the bean powder. It was never there. Then what happened was they had unions in organizing. There was a golden age where you could get into a union and you were protected, you were treated like a human being, but then they had power and then they abused it. Right, United artists. Yeah. No, I'm just, no, not even,

I'm just in any industry. Not my job, the classic, the stereotype of the union guy is when you deal with them is like, you can't fire me, we're gonna overcharge and I'm going to fucking not my job, I'm on break, you know, we're going to get 10 guys to do a job that takes two people. I mean, they finesse the system.

Then the rich people got sick of that and they said, well, we're taking manufacturing outside of this country. Now you and you, you and you guys have a good time because we're out of here. Then that's what they did. And then they were able to go back to, this is what I think. I might be they did. And then they were able to go back to, this is what I think, I might be wrong with this, but they were able to go back to how they treated the American workers pre-units, which was like absolute dog shit and they had kids in their working, right? So now their big guilt trip is like, hey, stop treating those people like that. And then what

they say is like, well, if we don't have a child making your t-shirt, that t-shirt is now going to be $150. It's like, why? When you used to make them here, when I was a kid, it didn't cost that. What happened is, they're not going to eat into their... They actually have to pay somebody a decent wage. You're going to pay it, not them. That's how... I mean, that's my opinion. No, I agree with you. And there's examples of where it doesn't have to be like that. That's how, I mean, that's my opinion. No, I agree with you. And there's examples of where it doesn't have to be like that. Like, that's why I'm a big Costco guy. But I mean, you know, I'm the, you fight the good fight.

I try, but I'm not, I got, again, I got no fantasies. I understand. Is that the need for you to special fight the good fight? No, live at the green mill. Live at the green mill, top gun three is the real title. Just to reflect the energy I give off. Tune in. Maverick versus Alien versus Predator.

Now, if you want to talk about corrupt, let's talk about the Chicago Blackhawks dumping their whole fucking team with a 28% chance of getting yet another generational player that is named. They got them. They got them. And let me ask you, and you're all right with that. I'm okay with that. You don't think that there was any sort of underhanded slip slide in the way.

My way moved his veterans out. That was the hope. It's a new GM. I'm just fucking with you. It was an unbelievable move and it paid off. It paid off. They threaded the needle. They got lucky.

So what are they gonna do now? They got nobody around them. Duncan Key, Tave just gone. Everybody's gone, right? They drafted eight kids. And, you know, It's gotta get worse before it gets better. It's gotta get worse before it gets better,

but it could be fun to watch, even when it's bad. How big is that kid? Conor, but I don't even know. I don't even know. I just, I've never even seen him play. I don't even know if I've seen highlights. They got a Dave Somenko or somebody there to shadow him, cover him.

I'm sure they got somebody. They got somebody. They got a Barrett Jr. Barber Junior. They got to get somebody in there. Barber Robert Resta's soul. Bruins resigned Luceach. Somebody got somebody right sorely back yet Bob probert junior. Yeah, yeah, they got to get somebody in there Bob proberto Rest is soul Bruins resigned luchich

Luch yep 35 years old man. God. Maybe the last man on earth. I would want to fight. Yeah, what I don't even I don't care How old he is something? I think if luchich was on our team in 2019 I say we beat we would have beat him in. Arms behind his back, he could punch me, he could knock me out with his nose. He'd break both my hands and then my face with his face. That is a tough man. And I, like, he, I just, it's killed me all of these years. Like I just became fans of every team that he went to.

Like the amount of Calgary flame games that I watched just to watch him play. Sure. Dude, how about what, Matthew Kachak, right, for the Panthers? Matt Kachak, do you see the, you know he broke his sternum? Yeah.

He played that game, he scored the game, tying goal. Yeah. And then they won and then pushed it to, and then he still played with a broken sternum. They had to put his clothes on for one. I know. And then, Oh, these are the excuses I know. And then all these people go like, oh, these are the excuses.

Oh, this is all the excuses. No, no, no see fucking LeBron. If you know fucking broken mustache, fuck all he would, but like he gets this. Certain people just get like, it's just sort of like the default, you know, insert this person here. I don't understand the LeBron hate. I definitely didn't like when he went to Miami, but it's like that guy has been guaranteed

to play a hundred games every season. His entire career, his entire 40 year career. He's played a hundred games, nothing less. That's just a lot. That's a lot. It is a lot. I think, well, how much, what do you think he's got? Four seasons?

I don't see him leaving anytime soon. I don't see him, he just needs to find a team to be a role player on, but it's gonna be, I don't know what kind of role player he would be because, you know, do you see him being a spot, like a spot up shooter? Well, I would just say that this season at the NBA gave me hope that maybe, you know, other teams around, rather than five teams are going to have a shot and you have to, like, you know, just load it up with free agents.

I fucking hate that shit. Right. That ocean 11 shit. It should be. It's not, it's not like, it's not competition. I think you're right. I think that the MBA has already gone the way of the NFL where there's like way more authority.

Parity is the shit. Absolutely, because, and this is what happened, and this is why I say people who said that once Rogers left the Packers were gonna be dog shit, like they were in the 80s. It's a different league than it was in the 80s. It's worth so much money that every roster spot is so valuable that the talent rises to the top.

There's systems in place as a far back as middle school, these guys know how to run offenses in high school. They get to college, there's studs. You know, they're already, you know, they know what they're doing by the time they get there. Every team's gonna be good. Loaded with talent.

Coaches know what they're doing. They all came out of a system. Blah, blah, blah. That's great for fans. I know it. For the NBA, it's gonna be. I hate that the MLB is not like that because there's no reason why

Tampa Bay shouldn't want a world series yet. If there was actual parody in that, there's such a great fucking organization. Nobody goes to the games. They always do, they're killing it again this year. Killing it again. Luxury tax. It's because teams can spend hundreds of millions of dollars more than other

Steimed Brenner rule. Yes, right I always guys and then then that becomes the game and then we did it red socks ended up done and then people go Well, you guys look at do it. It's like well, we have to you have to yeah We have to because you guys are doing it as a as a brewer fan Which they finally started spending more money And that's awesome, but for a lot of years I was just like, why do I give a fuck about baseball if that's what it's about if it's about Where the player can make more money in the offseason and who's got the you know bigger fan base that lives

Literally fun year proximity to the season fun year was 83 when the brewers made a run with Robin, Yowl and Oglevy and, and, uh, Raleigh Fingers, Cecil Cooper was Raleigh on that team. Norman Gorman, Stormin. Yeah, dude, Stormin Gorman. Yeah. And then, uh, you went up against Lamar Hoyt in the, uh, the White Sox with those crazy uniforms. You guys beat him and old Kamisky and you guys were in, uh, what was, what was, what was the name of that? County stadium. County stadium. Yeah. I never went to Kamisky. I did go to of that? County Stadium. County Stadium, yeah. I never went to Comiske. I did go to a game of County Stadium.

County one of the fucking first few games of the year. So it was like going to a Packers game. It was freezing. I sat up or deck behind home plate. Ooh, and just sat there. Ooh, I remember I had a, where were you working? I was doing college gigs. I was working with the Bash Shuler,

and they were just like beasts of the fucking Midwest. 40 nights a month. Oh yeah, so they would always like, you know, I got a gig in Rhinelander, Wisconsin. I can build around it. Okay, Bill. Okay, they have. Bill, I got you a February all set.

And I can't be telling you. I can't be telling you. I can't be telling you. I can't be telling all set and I'm right in the end of the Winnipeg and every town in between. No, there would be some drives though. There was definitely some drives, but like I saw like the amount of this country that I saw doing those college gigs was amazing. I mean, it's suck sometimes with, you know, if they didn't have a mic and, you know, the dumb shit that happens at a lot of those gigs, but like, the amount of stuff that I saw, I saw, I feel like so much of the farmland. I mean, just like, I remember when that's driving up

to Duluth in like February, I was just like, this just takes a special kind of person to be up, I mean, like, I mean, you just got to be like an ice fisherman. You got to, but you got to be like watching your mindset because it'd be so easy to be like, what if I cut a hole in this ice and just stepped in? I'll just fucking end this shit. What if I cut a hole in my wife? I was what I thought you were gonna say. Oh, no, that's Wisconsin. Yeah. You guys are like, where Western Pennsylvania, you know, kept producing quarterbacks, the sheer amount of serial killers

that have come out of this. It's the alcohol, dude. It's the weather in the alcohol. It's not the dairy? It's, that's a good question. I don't know, the dairy could be involved, but I think if anything, the dairy's kind of saving us from,

maybe a few more serial killers per capita, to be honest with you. Edgene. Ah, just get yourself some costard ad. Edgene. Ted, get at a milk cake. Edgene. He's got that looking as I again.

Do you know Edgene was such a fucking lunatic? There's like four major like Hollywood horror movies. There were all shit that just he did. They just couldn't put it all in one movie. Yeah. Hannibal Lecter, Texas Chainsaw murders, both based off for shit that he did. And I'm probably gonna be wrong.

There was like three or four movies. You sure, can we give John Wayne Gacy credit for any of these? Where was he? Chicago. Chicago. He's the clown, he's the fat man in the clown suit. John Wayne Gacy, young man in his basement.

We got to give him some credit. We always focus on Wisconsin. They always they always I see what you're doing. You're trying to turn a ball into a strike. You're trying to frame the strike zone here. Well, I'm not done with Wisconsin yet. Then you got Jeffrey Dahmer. There's nothing. I don't understand like why somebody would like like watch

He cut on. That's a nothing. I gotta understand why somebody would watch a series on it, like that they find somebody that fucked up fascinating. You know, I got to, I watched it. It was pretty interesting to me. They did a good job. The first episode of my life. Was he as hot as people said?

He was pretty hot, Bill. It was, it was, the first couple of episodes. Would you say as far as Canemals go? Is he the Brad Pitt of Canemals? He has to be. He in real life. I feel like John Wayne Gacy was the Dennis Farina. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Washington who then the guy who got on a t- Ted Bundy. Ted Bundy who escaped from prison twice. Got on a plane the second time, dude.

Breckenridge, Colorado is responsible. The city of Breckenridge, they let him escape twice. He escaped from the fucking courthouse. He got on a plane, moved to Florida. They were like, nobody said shit to anybody. This is before the internet. They didn't, they wanted to cover their ass. They were like, we can't, we, what do you mean you escaped again?

They didn't want to tell anybody. They didn't say shit to anybody. Nobody put the fucking, They didn't, they wanted to cover their ass. They were like, we, we, what do you mean you escaped again? They didn't want to tell anybody. They didn't say shit to anybody. Nobody put the fucking, nobody put the, that connected the dots. He killed another 20 women down in Florida. That's all Colorado's fault. That's the road. Right. He went down to Colorado and just went head off. That's why the Rockies left and became the devils. I always wondered that. It's always comes back to sports. Always about sports. No, no, no. Yeah, Domer was hot. Domer was hot.

And, uh, dateable. I'm, dude, I'm going to a bunch of clubs that you, that you used to play. I'm doing all your old spots. Where you going? Well, you never played the Lincoln Lodge in Chicago. That's September 1st and 2nd. It's newer. They, well, you might have done a Lincoln Lodge actually.

Was it a Zainese? No, no, no, it sits the, uh, it was, it's newer. Well, you might have done a Lincoln logic. What was it, Azanis? No, no, no, it's, it's the Indy Club and then they, What was that, what was that, that, try factor of dates, they book Azanis down time? Azanis Rosemont, St. Charles, St. Charles. Well, no, there was also Lake Vernon, or Mount Vernon. Mount Vernon, St. Charles.

And then, and then downtown. And then they recently Mount Vernon closed and then they would do the Rosemont Club opened up. Botto. That was a classic run. But my thing was I just like being such like a sports fan and everything, I love Xanies downtown. Like I would still like if I was in Chicago

and had time off and they had to show up 100% would pop in. If I could get rid of these hiccups Like I would still like, if I was in Chicago and had time off, and they had to show up, 100% would pop in. If I could get rid of these hiccups, I would 100% pop in. Polarities? Cleveland, you love that room. Love that room. And I remember when that fucking thing was going,

when he first did that, he was the only show in town. Everything was like bleak and dark. Is that the look like escape from New York? And I remember sitting outside of his club, and you could just feel it. Like, and I was seeing what was happening in all these rust bell towns. I was like, and I remember saying the comic on dude, if I had fucking money, I would buy that building right across the street. Right.

And now I go to now all these. Somebody did it. Dude, it looks like the fucking boi-ingles show. Is that the nicest club in America? Helarides. It's up there. Yeah, it's just one. It might be.

It's like, you know, what do you like better? Pack Bell or where the pirates up there. Yeah, it's just it might be it's like you know what do you like better packbell or where the pirates put it? Yeah, well done comedy club like that. There's a couple of them. Yeah, there's always gonna be I would say Rogan's mother ship Hilarities haven't been there. I'll be at the Creek in the cave August Next month August. Yeah, Hilarities in Austin Comedy works, Acme and Minneapolis August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, August, That story doesn't surprise me. I wasn't what he's looking for. I mean, should give it another shot. I auditioned in the early 2000s, and I wasn't good enough for that.

But I mean, it was like, but it was like Dana Gold marring him. It was like fucking beast will work in there. Yeah. And I was just, you know, I didn't work there for you, ever. I didn't work there for you. I never worked there.

I auditioned in front of him, and he was just like, no, it was funny years later than I saw somebody bitching about how, they sent him a tape and, you know, he didn't let him in and whammy and all those bullshit. It's like, dude, I fucking auditioned in front of the guy didn't let me in, okay? Yeah.

You know, it's not always the other person. Sometimes you're just not good enough or they don't have a slot for you. They don't have a slot for you. This is just typical gatekeeping. Oh, well, the level of quality. Your level of quality. The market's flooded. You started an impossible career path. Yeah. Flooded market with incredible talent everywhere. A lot of people that fucking take it, close the door, said thanks, but no thanks. I just,

I always in my head, I was like, I'm gonna get in there. I'll get in there. You know, all right, not that one. Whatever. It's in a bet. I'm gonna get in there. I'll get in there, you know? All right, not that one. Whatever. It's in a bat. I struck out. Right, it's timing. I struck out looking, buckled.

Looking at the crowd, looking at the huge. Oh, my God. Yeah, the amount of times everybody took a seat that night. Yeah, the amount, yeah, it was no one right. The amount of times people, everything from comedy connection, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, On number 20th, I'm at the punchline. You can drop into my dates and hear my story. I fucking, I drove up there to do a spot to get on in front of Jeff Will's to try to get booked there. And that was another one, he was just like, eh, you're not ready.

Did you ever do, and I wasn't, I wasn't ready. Yeah, I got that. I drove across country with VHS tapes. I dropped a VHS tape off at Cobbs and the punchline after I graduated college. So for a racist. The summer. That's split bass. The summer before I moved to Chicago, at Cobbs and the punchline after I graduated college. So for what? The sum, the sum. That's split base.

The summer before I moved to Chicago, I dropped off VHS. I drove across country, dropped off a VHS tape off to. Actually, Will's didn't say no. He ended up not showing up, and I had driven all the way up from LA. Damn. It happens.

Yeah, that happens too. But now, you know, with social media, you be like, if that was a fucking this, out of the other, I wouldn't even have to fucking add to this and like they just invent these fantasies. Disphanacy, it's like, oh you think, and you think we're all, us dudes are out here all helping each other.

I mean, this is maybe not the, you're helping me, but like it's like we're all competition. This business is fucking sharks. What the fuck do you think this did? You tried to do. You think you just get handed being yourself for a living? But you have to drive eight hours to do five minutes for free and then get right back in your car

and drive back eight hours. Or you don't do this. Or you don't do it. And you have to do that over and over and over again. At least back then you did. I like now where these kids today have so much power and that they can like put clips out and everything and they can kind of,

they have the power to make it on their own, which I think is really cool and it's kind of fascinating watching the industry scampering, trying to prove that you still need them. You know what I mean? It's becoming like, well, as far as I can comeedian, you can really just be this self-sustained unit.

I mean, you don't need anybody to write your jokes. You're writing those jokes. You don't need anybody to help you promote them, right? You're promoting them. If they're good, they're gonna get out there those jokes. You don't need anybody to help you promote them right or promote them If they're good they're gonna get out there and then you don't need anybody to have you start a fucking podcast Just go buy the shit and you kind of have it and then Then I feel like you're your own little business and then if you want it if you want somebody To help blow your shit up you hire somebody that knows how to do it

So you're still in control. You don't go to them because they just keep doing the, okay, you come here and we own 50% of your podcast, you're on your Vaggy Vaggy, and the money goes to us and then we'll pay you and then our names on the check. So you never saw the original check. So there's no way you can steal from us, but we can fucking steal from you. You grow your business. It's your business. They grow your business, it's your business. They grow your business.

It's their business. It's not your business. It's their business, yep. One of the best things I ever saw was this stuff. The best things that ever happened to me were people saying no to me, for real. Because I had to take control of my career and I had to do shit on my own.

I had to release my own albums. I mean, the best, you know, not getting a special hair. You're not back from a suicide attempt, you know? You appreciate things. You see the light. You have you head in the oven. You think, what am I doing? It's just jokes.

It gives you perspective. Anyway, the special is called Live at the Green Mill. I don't know what else to say, dude, other than like, I just love your stuff and you can see, you know, the way this thing is shot, the level of quality that the standup is gonna be. So, you know, I don't know what else.

Are we working together? We're working together this weekend, right? We're working together this week. We're doing Tacoma and Edmonton. We're doing the Great Outdoors Festival. We're at this casino Tacoma and Edmonton. We're doing the Great Outdoors Festival. We're at this casino up in Tacoma on Saturday. We're doing the Great Outdoors Festival in Edmonton on Sunday.

And then we're working together in October too. We'll be, we'll be all over again. We have doing a little bit of bus tour. All right. Did you ever do the, you're a Michigan guy. Did you ever do the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase? I dropped a tape off to them. You did now, Roger.

I did. A long time ago, and I was, I was, I mean, talking like late 90s. Yeah. And I was doing some college gigs there. Wow. Man. Yeah.

And I just, I had, I would, that's what I would do. I did it at the comedy works. You guys just, the comedy works too. I remember Adam Farah was headlining, and I remember coming in like, oh my God, Adam Farahra. He's headlining the Denver comedy,

which is he realized how huge it, I would just look at people like that had the gig like, wow, and look, he's not even nervous. He's just in and the owner loves it. And I would come in, you know, I did that in a lot of places. Sure. A lot of places I would, you know, the improvs were really good about

shuing you away. Like yeah, no, no, no, no, cause everybody, but like those sort of those independent ones, yeah. This doesn't matter. And then you run into somebody's, the personal tastes of a booker, and that's what you have to, it takes so long.

I mean, I was never good at it. Still I'm not good at it, but I think, you can at least compartmentalize now when somebody doesn't like you, or they want it, they, you know, because they have all their taste, you know, the booker of a club that they either own or, I did a guest spot at some place when I was in Utah, and I went in and I was psyched and I went up

and I had a good set that led to nothing, like wise guys or something, whatever the fuck was out there. I did a couple places in Seattle. This is all coming back to Seattle underground. I underground, yes, the underground. I would do the college and then I would rush over to try to go on late to say I'm a comic from New York City,

blah, blah, blah, you know, started in Boston. You know, I can't, is a thing, you know, and they would just take the tape. And remember, they would walk into the thing and they would just be just these snacks. It was a fucking day. The warehouse in Indiana Jones. Oh yeah.

Yeah, they gave it to a guy to put it on a fork lift. You know, all right, well at least like, it's a fork lift necessary. Yeah. At least I cleared some space in my apartment. Yeah, that was how it was done, but now you can film yourself. They do, that is a really interesting.

Just the way comedy is now, like they do have the, but it's also there's so many comics that have that same power that it's like, man, there's advantages, but there's such disadvantages now I don't know how the the cream The cream is gonna right if you listen I look at if you're putting out killer shit

Okay Consistently people are gonna know who you are. I fucking you know, I Repost like I was comics. I don't even know if I just see a funny fucking joke I love it when you do that. I'm putting that out there I love when you do that. I try to do that too, but I mean, I mean, you know You got you got such an audience that like when you when you put somebody out there that's so funny I mean, that's just like because not not all guys that your level do that so it's uh, well, you know It's a big deal. Maybe it's because I grew up in Massachusetts where we just had the Boston Strangler and we never tried to turn

them into a sex symbol the way you guys did out there in Wisconsin. I see what you just did there. Yeah. That's that's that's I didn't even shoot it across the bow. Yeah. I threw it you threw it right in my face. That's right. I took the plastic.

You threw my own holder. My own state's most fuckable serial killer. Right back in my face. Maybe I'm jealous. Maybe I'm jealous. No shirt, sunscreen and everything. But you got to admit, when you're watching a sporting event from Wisconsin or Massachusetts,

when they cut to the crowd, I mean, it's nothing but animals, right? Well, it's, yeah, it's a, but there's specific animals. Like, you know, there's no tigers in Africa, right? I didn't realize that, they're not. They're like in Asia. Yeah, yeah, it's a, but there's specific animals. Like, you know, there's no tigers in Africa, right? I didn't realize that. They're not. They're like in Asia. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

There's like, there's just an East Coast animal is different than a Midwest animal. Like the sports fan, fucking animal, you know? By the way, I'm actually kind of calling out Philadelphia recently. I'm sick of of calling out Philadelphia recently. I'm sick of this stereotypical. I've gone to sporting events.

They're not all that fucking crazy. I feel like they feel like they have to do it. It's performative, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's starting to become, I'm that crazy Philly guy. Yeah, oh boy. I don't, I don't ever really, I'm not a relief. I don't, that doesn't ever really impress me.

I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna Ph ever really, I'm not a relief. I don't, that doesn't ever really impress me. I don't give a fuck. I go to Philly and it's not a bunch of mouthbreeds and fucking morons who are absolutely shit-faced. Big fucking deal. You outnumber, you outnumber the, the, the fans from out of town, 10 to one. You and 80 or dudes can follow two dudes around and fucking mean mug and minac like you, you know.

No, I don't mean that shit. I don't mean that shit. Like every stadium is, it's, it's, yeah, Wisconsin was nice. Wisconsin's nice. And also, so is soldier. I never had a bad time at soldier feel. I've been to soldier feel 10 times right?

Right. I've been down, even when the Bears played in champagne, I went there once. I just, when people are trapped inside for long enough, for a large enough portion of the year, they value the one afternoon of the month that they're going outside. And they're not trying to do anything, but drink their fucking faces off.

Now, that's Seattle fan. The Seahawks fan. Are they bad fans or was that guy bad? I just think that Seahawks fans are the corneus fans in the league. The whole 12 man bullshit that started because they were getting ripped off on the beers. That's the league. The whole 12-man bullshit that started because they were getting ripped off on the beers. That's the best. That is the like one of the original viral videos. How did that guy ride that out? Dude, I don't know how they get. Well, what they did if people had listened, I don't know.

One of the Seahawks were so bad and the season ticket holders were all fed up. And then they figured out one of the season ticket holders took a large beer, poured it into a small beer, same beer, same, same amount. And uh, and oh yeah, there was a tall, a tall skinny one was a large and then a short fat one. Somebody drank the small and then poured the large in. Three dollars more. There's another podcast. We're going over here.

All right, let me do my dates, Roque. All right, do your dates real quick. I'll be. I'll be. If you go see this guy, you're not going to be disappointed if you like top-notch comedy. I'm so proud to have my name on you special. I'm in. I'll be. I'll be. I'll be. I'll be. I'll be. I'll be.

I'll be. I'll be. I'll be. I'll be. I'll be. I'll be. I'll be. I'll be.

I'll be. I'll be. I'll be. I'll be. I'll be. I'll be. I'll be. I'll be.

I'll be. I'll be. I'll be. I'll be. I'll be. I'llth. I'll be with Bill all over the country for a week. I'll be at hilarities in November 16th through the 18th hilarities in Cleveland. I'll be at the Majestic Theater in Madison, Wisconsin, December 27th, and I'll be at the Laughing Tap in Milwaukee,

Wisconsin for New Year's Eve the whole weekend. That's it, Nate Craig. Live at the Green Mill on youtube.com slash ATC. I just hit the camera. Thank you so much for coming on. Come on, man. Continue success on a huge fan. All right, thank you guys.

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1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc I'm not a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy, I'm a bad guy If you instead attempt to rest the pistol from the ham Then I would not be able to equate my life and save What's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's the Monday morning podcast for Monday, July 13th, 2015. What's going on? How are you? I? I just had a really embarrassing moment right it Sunday afternoon

Is there a song about Sunday afternoons rainy days and Mondays? Oh Jesus Sunday afternoon is now I goes oh Yeah I just had a really embarrassing thing. I fucking Andrew, who sends me all the podcast shit. I'm walking my dog around the block, right? Boo, do it, do it, do it. And he tells me to call him so I call him.

So he tells me that he's sending me the podcast shit. So I go to it, you know, I come back with the dog and I go to fucking check my emails that it's not there in fact I haven't got one fucking email since July 10th which never happened so I check my little mini iPad thing It won't let it's refreshing it won't give me anything else. I check my fucking iPhone. I got the six now Just like all you kids out there playing the fucking avatar games the one single person first person I'll blow you fucking face off in the comfort of my Attic bedroom, right? I got I got the new one none of them

No emails for two days. I'm like what the fuck this fucking happens to me all the time. So I lose my shit I call Andrew up and he's going that's weird. That's strange. I never heard that. I was that people always say about my shit And then he tells me he hasn't told he hasn't sent it yet. Let me try sending them and then they came through So there was nothing wrong It was just my dumb ass had not got an email in two days and I thought I was so fucking important that I at least get a little bit of spam So yeah, so whatever this fucking egg and old freckles face here, you know, some I'm starting off humble. Starting off humble like that fucking Irish guy there with his chest tattoo running around talking all this shit that he was gonna do to the half of the fucking world. Now listen, I don't watch a lot of UFC so I don't even know

any of the fucking names. But I watch that, you know, and I'm part Irish and that guy skipping around like a fucking leprechaun talking all that shit. It just fucking annoyed me. So now I'm, I'm, now I'm rooting for Barney Rubble. Latino Barney Rubble, that Mendes dude, right? And fucking, well, what, what this face to who looks like? He looks like, he looks like a combination of the guy from the spin doctors and that creepy mascot for Burger King. I can't figure out what he is except he can fucking spin around and put his heel on your temple. Alright so I'm watching this shit and he's talking all this

shit and he's doing all that Roy Jones like I'm gonna humiliate you while I beat you. And which is, of course, is making me root for the little fella. I mean, who do I see in there? Even though that guy's a pasty fuck with red hair just like me. He's actually got a full head of hair at the son of a bitch, right? I want a root form. You know what I mean? Little fucking red head solidarity. I want a root for this guy.

But he's such a cunt. And the first halfway through the first round, I'm like, you know what? Fuck this guy. Let's go, Shoddy! Right? I'm root for the little guy. The little guy's fucking starts taking him to the mat. He's fucking throwing elbows. This fucking little fucking burga can guy is is eating these things and then he gets up

and he kind of nods like, oh yeah, that was pretty good. That was pretty good. Pretty good. You got to cut over your eye there, freckles. Right? Next thing you know, next round comes out. The fucking little guy is putting this freckled cunt on his back. Ground and pound, ground and pound, ground and pound.

Okay. And fucking Ireland's Burger King guy gets back up. He gets back up and all of a sudden he's not talking shit anymore. He's got a little fucking, yeah, yeah, that was pretty good. That was pretty good. Pretty good. He was on top of you the whole fucking round, long story fucking short. I think it was the third round. He fucking does it again. He's just on top of this guy beating his fucking ass. All right, he gets up You know, which is good on the fucking redhead of dude. He fucking gets up

Connor whatever McLaughlin or is it Sarah McLaughlin? I don't know the fuck his name is Connor something or other right he fucking gets up and The little guys gasped the guy got two weeks notice. This other fuck's been training for months to fight this Jose, Josie, whatever the fuck his name is, right? So the little fella's gassed. He catches a fucking left. He goes down. He's covered up. He's not fighting back, but he's covering up and immediately the fucking dude steps in. That'll be it. And then the spin doctor's guy jumps up and down, you know, and jumps on the fucking cage. You know, and starts crying into the iron,

Ireland flag. Okay, now I'm not saying that that fucking Irish dude's not a badass fighter. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that little fella. He earned the right. He earned the right to write out that round. Get to the chair and then you look at him. You want to go out again?

Granity was gassed. Maybe they saved him, but you know, I don't know. I don't know shit about the sport I don't even know the fucking names, but all I can tell you was that Evidently that was gonna be a big fight You know when Mayor McCheeze there was gonna fight fight Josie in the Pussy whatever fucking name is right. That's that that's why the fight game man. I'm telling you right now, anybody who is the Don King of the sport, you should fucking you should have to dress like boss hog because to me that fucking reek of a quick stoppage. You can't tell me, this is of course you can tell me, the fuck course you can tell me

The fuck do I know I'm just a comedian right? And I play one on TV too, right That's just reaked of Holy fuck we thought he was gonna beat this little bastard's ass and we're gonna get a two for one on the pay-per-view here because everybody you know The Irish guy talks so much shit.'re gonna watch him anyways right I know I sound like a moron fuck you and it seemed like bullshit to me it just seemed like bullshit or maybe I've watched Rocky too many times I wanted that little fella to fuck the whole thing up I wanted him to fuck up the big payday and it didn't happen okay hats off to the Irish guy all right double hats off because the Irish guy. All right, double hats

off because he's also redhead. You know, he's making us look good. God knows we take a bunch of shit. I just thought it was a quick stoppage and good on him that he took that pounding and was able to get back up again, but I'll tell you right now, that was not a good fight for that guy. I would guess because I would think that the other guy would be like, oh, that's very interesting. Very interesting what that little fellow there did on only fucking two weeks training. Isn't it amazing how much shit I'm giving to people who in their sleep, like walking in their sleep could fucking choke me out. The second I brushed up against him with any sort of energy that they didn't like, you know,

is there still muttering in their sleep about fucking a bowl of cornflakes? They still chuck me out. Doesn't stop me from talking shit like the bitch that I am in my own podcast and the safety of my own office within my house. Oh yeah, I'll fucking talk shit about anybody in here. You get me outside the confines of my gate. Hey, how are you? Nice to see you. I like your shirt. Anyways, it was it was a great what a fucking if you didn't rent it man. I would rent that shit. You have seen 189 for as much as I'm being a little fucking rag in contier. Just wired a wire. Every fight was a fucking knockout.

It was unbelievable. You know my favorite part of the night was when Rogan was watching, whatever fight it was, where I don't fucking know, this white dude was fighting this other guy. And the guys just swinging wildly and Rogan actually laughed at one point. You know, not like, you know, no disrespect to the fighter. He just was enjoying the fight and he sort of laughed and said this is a bar fight and This fucking maniac, you know a lot of fighters, you know after they win the fight when they're celebrating They look scary, but the second they start talking that's the totally chill There's a few of them that can't shut it off and you're like That guy, you know like that guy, you

know, like that big dude and the dirty dozen pose. Remember that? Come on, pose. Stick him. Stick him. Yeah, I'm pushing you. And he's fucking Lee Marvin's pushing him. And then he just fucking snaps. And he's just like, stop pushing. And he can't fucking shut it off. And he wants to drive fucking Lee Marvin's nose right through his brain and keep punching Until he fucking goes his fist and his forearm goes right through the brains of his entire fucking family tree like that guy had like that energy There was so many sick I wait. I really should know these fighters names Especially considering I'm trying to get in shape and these guys are in some of the best shape you could possibly be in, I don't know, I'm not going to pretend like I know anything about the sport.

All I can tell you was I 100% got my fucking money's worth. And other than I just thought they stopped the fight a little too soon, but really thinking about it, I think I was just being selfish because I wanted that little dude to upset him I got to stop calling little dude the guy was shorter than the fucking redhead He fucking I Just I thought he earned the right to get to the fucking corner and be like dude Can you go and your gas to whatever? But then of course he's gonna say yeah, I can go and then maybe he would actually really get fucked up, you know

You know, Bill. Maybe if you think about it, maybe the official referee of that paper of you fight, maybe knows a little bit more, maybe it was a little bit closer, maybe has watched a few more fights than you did. And maybe he stopped it at the right time. Ah, right, whatever. I wanted to see it keep going. I want to see him put him on his back again. God damn it!

I love when that happens. I love when an underdog, fucks it, like some dude comes in. He's not supposed to fight this guy, or it's just supposed to be this tune up fight for the big fucking payday, and this guy comes in and just fucking knocks him out, knocks the dude out. I always imagined like that would be, that's what it would be like

if you somehow interrupted like the new world order, you know, and I'm not saying that this shapeshifters, but I'm saying, if you honestly think that these fucking maniacs, that there's not a group of people that want to run it all and own it all. Then I don't know, I don't know. Then I wish I was you. I wish I lived where you lived and saw what you saw that you haven't seen that fucking human behavior. But I don't know.

I'm out of my, oh, I go fuck yourself. It's a Sunday afternoon. I'm hanging out by myself. My wife's not around. I've been talking to my dog all day Did you do you think that this is gonna make sense? Well, did you I should have yelled? Anyways, but And the next UFC I go in and out of the UFC

You know what I mean like I do with like wrestling When they don't have a lot of good stars or whatever I start to fade or whatever I get busy in my fucking life, I should watch it because whenever I watch it, it motivates me to get in shape. You know what I mean? Or if I even watch like the ultimate fighter, which I know that's kind of like making the band or who wants to be a millionaire for like fucking fighters, you know what I mean? I don't know how many guys actually came out of that fucking house that went on to do some shit, you know? I think most of them are like, you know, those people that sing during the first week of American Idol, you know, those people, Jimmy crack corn and I don't care. All right, buddy, you're not going to Vegas.

Then they cry to the camera. At least I did it. You know, I came here. I threw some uppercuts and yeah, I got knocked out, but whatever, the poles are coming in. You know what I mean? Most of them end up like that. And as always, even that crying little fucking douchebag could kick the shit out of me. And it's sleep. I admit all of that. Before any of you comes to come at me like, oh, maybe you want to talk shit about something you can actually be in and fight. Maybe you should go fuck yourself. He says in the safety of his own office within his house behind his gate. So anyways, the next UFC, which I, I'm going to go out on a limb and say is going to be UFC 190. The constipation, whatever they have kind of out of adjectives. I think they finally stopped doing that.

Remember that? The revenge factor, and it was like deportation, canceled reservation, UFC 143. They just ran out, so they just called them by numbers now. So I think 190 is going to be down in that's going to be down in Brazil. The beginning of August and what's great is Ronda Rousey. I hope I said, is it Ronda? Ronda Rousey? How do I not remember names? Once again, someone else who kicked the shed out of me in her sleep. She's fighting in Brazil and she's fighting the top woman in Brazil. What's great about that is it's going to be so great to watch her shot an entire nation down.

I think the biggest problem she's going to have is security trying to get the fuck out of there after she beats that woman's ass because I think she's gonna And you know why because I watched about point eight seconds of highlights on on her opponent You know what I mean? Oh I'm talking about the fight game. I am in way over my head. Fuck you. It's a dog days of summer Hockey's over basketball is over. There's no football. What do you want from me? The fuck do you want from me? So I don't know, anything can happen is what I've learned watching fights or whatever. And I know that

Brazilian girl, she's got one of those Brazilian booty. So who knows if she gets low, she gets low. Who knows what can happen? You know what I mean? She puts that thing to fucking work. Who knows? But I don't think it's going happen Anyways, yeah the dog days of summer so I Watched I missed the men's final was today as I said I'm taping here on Sunday Congratulations to jokovitz, you know coming back after you losing the French open He beat Andy Federer. I would have liked to have seen that maybe they'll replay it on the tennis channel Like she wants to replay of Serena winning the Serena slam You know

She won last year's US open then she won the Australian then she won the French and now she won Wimbledon So she won the last four in a row and who's kidding? No, she'll win the fucking US open And the record is six I believe by Martina Martina and that travelola, I think. And by going, I glanced at Wikipedia for two seconds. I have no idea, but I'm rooting for, she needs one more to tie a Steffi Graf, and obviously one more after that, and she'll have won the most ever. Which is pretty amazing that not only she can do that, but she can do it at her age. She built, that was very informative.

It wasn't funny on any fucking level. All right, relax. Okay, so as I mentioned last week, all freckles, all freckles is on the wagon. Show me the way to go home, boom, boom, I'm tired and I want to go to bed. I've been on the wagon now for seven days. No boost. And I was like a buck 86.6. My weigh in and I wanted to lose three pounds a week for the next like two months to get myself down to my fighting weight.

And I got on the scale this afternoon and I was 183.2 so I actually lost 3.4 pounds So next week, you know, I need to be down to 180 so if you want to do it with me This is what I'm doing. This is my diet. This what's works from me and what I'm doing. I wake up in the morning I take my dog. Oh I take my dog for like an hour long hike and I come back and then I I have oatmeal and a banana and then between lunch and and a banana. And then between lunch and breakfast, I either have an apple or an orange. And so I get two outlings of fruit before 12. After 12, if I'm going to have, I'll only have a vegetable, I won't have a fruit just because it's got all this sugar. So then for lunch,

as you can tell, this is not an exciting diet, and as you can tell by the incredible lack of passion in my voice, but it's working for me. You know, as Whitney and Bobby Brown used to say, it works. It works for me. It works. Sorry, I have a black wife, so I see stuff like that on TV. I have a black wife. My wife is black.

African Americans, sir. So anyways, anybody remember that episode? Whitney and Bobby Brown, it's kind of tragic now, obviously. Really, you think Cell Bill said daughters in a coma when they were fucking in the store and they were trying to enhance or something, sunglasses and they were both probably high and they go, does it work? It works and they just started doing this song. It works.

It works for me. It works. Doing this fucking dance and everyone's staring at him. It was actually a nice moment. Anyways, what was they talking about? Oh yeah. So, and then in the afternoon, what do I usually have in the afternoon? That's kind of whatever, I don't know, that's a little weird, the afternoon one.

The fuck do I usually have? I try to have something healthy. That's usually I'll have a bowl of cereal, just something, something to throw a little flair into the day. But then at night, I go, I eat eat super healthy right around between five and six, you know, protein the size of the palm of your hand and then just a bunch of vegetables and then I just crush fucking waters for the rest of the night. And I'm not drinking anything else but water, to be honest with you. And then if I do get hungry at night and I need a late night snack,

I have a bunch of celery sticks already cut up and I'll take like a fucking like a spoonful of peanut butter. I know I know but you know what it works. It works. Fucking fucking I like to do is just live like this for three fucking months and I can get down to my fighting weight not three months, two months. And yeah do it with me eight times three. It's 20 of you lose 24 it with me. Eight times three. It's 20, you'll lose 24 pounds with me. All right, do it with me. Get you a beach body like me in September. So anyways, you don't even have to do this shit. I'm just telling you guys that I'm going to do it.

So I stay on the wagon, Freudian slip there, stay on the wagon, and then I there stay on the wagon and then I also continue to drop my three pounds a week whatever man you know what I mean next week will be six pounds and in between week two and three that's when people start noticing which motivates you even more so no Jesus and and then I just been doing like the pushups and the pull ups and that type of thing. Burke Christchurch sent me this thing on Twitter about how to improve your grip strength This men's health thing in the first exercise. I've actually been able I got myself worked up I can do is basically you hang from a chin up bar

Three sets of one minute Which you wouldn't think it's hard, but it is It can be whatever if you're a fat fuck like I am. Oh, God, I hate myself right now. So that's what I'm doing. I'm eating right, and I'm watching the UFC's. I'm watching boxing. I'm just looking at people in shape. You know what I mean? If you're a fat fuck, watch men that are in shape with your wife.

And you'll feel it on. I'm like, God, I wish my husband looked like that. And I'm telling you, it'll motivate you to get down, man, get on the fucking mat. So anyways, hey, listen, I got an idea here. Why don't I promote this right now? So, you know, I sell these posters on the road and I come home and I'll have some extra ones and I autograph them, I send them out.

We ship them out, people buy them and we ship them out. So the last time we had the ones from the uh the southern tour and uh you know we ship those out. Everybody got their fucking orders. You know no problem but it did take longer. A lot of people were like with a fuck is it because it took us a long time to get them out because we do everything ourselves here. So know this. All the posters we have that are left over from my my week in Boston where I did the 19 shows. Those are all autographed and they're already packaged in the tube ready to go. All we need is for you to order them and we'll just slap a label on them. And my guy is telling me that these fuckers will be out

by By Tuesday, so they will go on sale Tonight at 10 p.m. Pacific time, which is fucking stupid. I'm gonna I got a tweet about it They're all autographed and whatnot and What else all right? Oh else if you don't want to, if you want to send an email to the podcast, it's bill at the mmpodcast.com. That's where you send it and whatever. So if you'd like an autographed poster from my historic run or stupid run, depending on who you are, of 19 shows in Boston, we had some leftover ones we had about

uh... about three four hundred of them i got them all autographed they make a great gift for someone that you like or maybe don't give a fuck about the twenty bucks plus the shipping you can order right off my website billbird dot com just clack click on the merch page and uh... like i said we already got them all boxed up or tubeed up whatever you're supposed supposed to say, and they're ready to go. So if you want one, I would appreciate it, buying it.

If not, I get it. I get it. So anyways, anyways, what else did I want to talk about? I'm going through here. Oh, thank you to everybody that sent me and all the information about the Ford galaxies. I should have mentioned that I wanted a two-door and I believe I said 65 or 66. A lot of people sent me shit from 63, 64, or 68. That was still cool.

67 because I got to learn how the cars changed. But two of them were really what I wanted and I called both and they were already gone so I think once a month I'll put the word out to you guys and I'll keep looking for it but you know I don't know didn't work out this week what are you gonna do I already got my truck my truck's going but it's not starting well I figured out what the Annie Freys thing was I had it parked on this really steep hill and just because it's fucking old it doesn't have any stop. I don't know something to block the fuck. Anifreeze just started dribbling out overnight. So it wasn't even that much but there's been no any freeze, not anything that's dripped out since then

and if you saw the amount that was there in the morning you would think I had a major problem and nothing has happened ever since then. And yes, thank you to everybody out there who told me to check the radiator to make sure you had enough any freeze. I did do that, but I appreciate you. Let me know. Anyways, and so everything's all good with that.

And I fucking love driving that truck. So, so there you go. So, so here we go. Let's see, what am I going to talk about here? Jesus, the whole fucking podcast just fell up. That's why you don't do those announcements in the middle of it. It kills my whole, my whole fucking, whatever. Oh, I didn't mention you don't want to eat dinner.

I basically, I don't know, I eat steak or a chicken. I try to stay away from fish unless it's like salmon. And I only eat salmon because we grow it ourselves in a fucking petri dish and even though it might cause cancer someday, I don't think I'm more important than all the fish in the fucking ocean. So I'm gonna roll the dice that that genetically altered fucked up salmon that I'm eating is not as bad as it probably is. But you know I was watching Shark Week this week on the Discovery Channel and those guys I've got to give it up to Discovery Channel. They've come a long way on way they on the way that they depict sharks But they still always have like that jaws fucking vibe to it

And I really it's fucking reprehensible that they do it But at the end of the day, you know what they're not scientists They're a fucking network and they don't give a fuck about nature You know what I mean? They always got to do that shit like like the shark has some personal vendetta Like in all those jaws movies like after like after they fought off the shark They start driving away, you know in the boat or whatever you do sailing away or what there's no sail I guess you drive away Right whatever the fuck they're doing. And then the shark follows them.

Like the sharks like, oh, these, you motherfuckers think this shit is over. This shit at all. I just forget it, right? Like it wants to kill these fucking people. Um, but then again, it's just a movie. You would think that the Discovery Channel wouldn't have that. They had this fucking one, right? You know, when I always watch the first three quarters, because once they start going to the end, they start showing what we're doing and how many sharks were killing and how bad we're fucking up the ocean.

Like, I saw something on the Discovery Channel where the scientist was going at this fish market in somewhere in like Southeast Asia. And he just, he goes, once you just mentally get past all the sheer amount of dead fish there that are being consumed every fucking day, what he's looking at is the different species. And what he's finding is he's seeing species of fish that you never saw in a fish market anymore and that's because they used to drag the nets up at the surface and now because that's basically been fished out we are now like I don't know how many

feet down it was some level of whatever the fuck it was. How many 600 feet, five, and a few, I don't know what the fuck we were, but it sent chills down my spine. Like, what the fuck are we doing? And why isn't anybody talking about it in political office, right? So they were dragging up species of fish that you just never see at a fish market just for the simple fact they never drag the nets down that low. And there's a couple of fucked up looking sharks and like you know those fish that you

start getting so fucking low, you know they're having eyes isn't that important? They'll find it some really fucked up looking stuff like you like is that from this planet I've never seen one of those before. So I'm trying to lay off sushi and I'm trying to lay off all that stuff so I've never seen one of those before. So I'm trying to lay off sushi and I'm trying to lay off all that stuff. So I've dropped that down and a lot of my friends are telling me that they eat bison and that type of shit. Anything that we, I'm gonna just try to eat shit that we, like, pigs, cows, chickens, even though I know they're not fucking healthy.

But I mean, at least we're reproducing that shit. And considering where the ones that are fucking it up anyways, shouldn't I be the one that eats it? You know, shouldn't I die rather than a bunch of fucking fish? I don't know. I'm watching that shit and going on that bus tour I took through California, right? Fucking hilarious. Me and Joe Barton are gonna giant bus just tearing up the fucking atmosphere

Such a hypocrite, you know, I'm cutting down on the fish dude Just seeing how low the water is out here. It's it's a fucking you know, it's getting there dude. It's slow not even slowly It's fucking getting crazy out there, so I Don't know, the one exciting thing I heard about the weather out here is they might have an El Ninole, so it would actually give us some rain, not nearly enough as we need, but at least some fucking rain. So, uh, I'm really hoping for that. I'm hoping that's going to happen for the next four fucking years in a row, because, uh, I don't know, going over the, uh know, going over the the Hoover and seeing how low the fucking water was was pretty

scary. Why do you need to hear about this? You don't need to fucking hear about it, right? All right, bombing you out to beginning. Gee, Bill, really is the fucking world going to hell in a hand basket? We get it. So anyways, I watched a little bit of Yankee's red socks today Because I missed the men's final and it was fucking nothing else on and I got to be honest dude, you know, I don't think other than Padroya or Tees and Zander Bogarts I don't know anybody on our fucking team Except that guy from the outfield Shane Victorino, I guess I know four guys

Shane Victorino, I guess I know four guys. You know, I didn't know any Yankees and it was really weird to see, it looked like Alfonso Soriano which short, I don't know, they kind of looked like the Yankees looked like the Dave Regetti Yankees to me. And I don't know, the Red Sox looked like the fucking 88 Red Sox to me. It's really sort of a weird time But I watched a couple of innings You know we were down to nothing we went up three to two I Made an effort I

Made an effort So next week I fly up to the Montreal comedy festival. I'm doing a blues festival in Ottawa If you want to get tickets just go to billbird.com and then I'm doing two shows in Montreal. Oh, the silly sock wear and Frenchies. Yeah, I'm going up there. I'm going to have a good fucking time. And as they trash my broans for not making the playoffs, all I got to say is, and how did you guys do?

We made the playoffs. Oh, did you win the cup? Yeah, that's what I thought. 22 years and counting. This is the longest drought in Montreal, Canadian history. And I am enjoying every fucking day of it. Every fucking day of it. And, and you know, who's getting out of the broans? I don't know what we're going to do next year. I have no fucking idea how

you replace Luke. What would you do? You sign some fucking goon from Philly that that's supposed to fill the void. Um, I don't know. I'm still fucking shell shot with the broans dead. We fucking do that shit every, every fucking time somebody, well you know, they want a 90 year contract, you know bunch of money at some point you got to pay somebody You got to get out of fuck do you get rid of loot cheat? Everybody had a bad year Under fucking produced Maybe you guys didn't put the right team on the fucking ice. What's he supposed to do all of it? All right, all right, all right, what am I doing? Yelling my own fucking team here.

Anyways, um, so yeah, so I'm doing two shows up in Montreal, um, Wednesday and Thursday of next week. So that would be 15 and set to 22nd and the 23rd. I'm doing shows at a theater up there. I think if they're not sold out there close to being sold out, but if you'd like to watch me play drums when I'm up there Monday Tuesday and Thursday the seven o'clock show the goddamn comedy jam. I am going to be up there Playing a song each night having a great time telling stories about

My failed drumming career and all the awful fucking, I wasn't even ever even in a band, I never even got my drums out of my basement, my people used to just come over and we would play and I was always the worst fucking guy, so I got plenty of funny stories to tell about that shit. So anyways, let's get to some of the fucking questions here for the week. Oh, you know what? I haven't done the fucking advertising for this week. Oh, Jesus, oh, Jesus, where are we? Come on, Bill, for fuck's sake, can you put once in your life, Lauren,

I come, ah, Jesus Christ, thank God that's done. Take Christ, that's done. So, um, anyways, I want to thank everybody for just sending in all these uh, wait a minute these four galaxies I got a couple here America's dream cars. Oh shit! Dude, that's the one right there. Holy fuck, that's the one. 654 Galaxy, 500, 2 door runs very well. That means it's a piece of shit.

289 V8 motor, 47,000 miles, Liar! Automatic transition, white with IV interior. Looks like it's blue to me. All chrome is with the car. Oh Jesus, this is getting bad. Original chrome, rust-free frame interior is original and needs to be restored. This is a North Carolina car in a solid everywhere. If you're looking for a good, I have in classic price, $2,500. Jesus Christ, can you go wrong? Oh my God, that might be the one. Thank you for whoever sent me that one. All right, Garden. Oh, something got cut off here. It says

Thursday podcast, Bill, I'm obsessed with and then it just says T. I don't know what you're obsessed with all right guard billy green thumb i think someone used this before i don't think they did i was listening to old podcast you were talking about making your your makeshift garden out there in loss lost in just can we have an update yet the update is we are in a biblical level drought and uh... you know i'm not allowed to water my grass and that type of shit so you know I just water

what I have I got a couple of tomato plants I got a lemon and lime tree you can believe I got a lime tree and not an avocado tree what a fucking jerk off so I gotta make sure I handle that oh great why is it reloading? What is going on here? I'm all for that though, growing your own food and that type of stuff. And you know during this time, I'm not joking man, I'm really gonna try to eat a lot less fish than as much as I joke about it. That is a serious fucking problem.

And I'm gonna try to, I'm actually gonna try to learn to make a couple of vegan meals that actually taste good, because I'm always gonna eat steak and that type of shit but I'm just gonna try to incorporate a couple of those things because it keeps you in shape man. It does and it helps you lose fucking weight. So anyways, so that is the update. I wish I had a whole garden, but I don't and I'm hoping eventually I can. I'm just hoping the water comes back here someday.

And if it doesn't, I am gonna take a bath on this house. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha stuff that really sucks. You kind of went two ways there. Of Nia's music, what group or band or genre do you absolutely have? Do you have absolutely no ability to swallow? My wife has unbelievable taste in music, particularly shit that I wouldn't be exposed to, especially at my age, 47-year-old white guy, I'm not going to know what the latest, you know, even just hits are in the whole rap world. And you guys own me a big, a big pat on the back there because I didn't use the expression hip hop. I didn't want you guys to hear that coming out of my fucking mouth. So I stay up, you know, she, she's always listening to some fucking, you know, I like to make money get turned that shit got the white girl market powder or parking follow worked at that.

That shit she listens to that. Why clef Rocky, whatever the fuck his name is hashtag Rocky money bags dollar sign Rocky I can't remember this fucking name is she listens to little Wayne Kanye who I can't I can't stand I listen to that guy. It just tells me about how awesome he is and all the stuff He has it's excruciatingly boring stuff he has, it's excruciatingly boring. But he isn't, he's not bored with himself at all. He is absolutely amazed with how amazing he is. And God knows that's fun to listen to.

Oh yes, by all means, tell me, tell me in another verse why you're so awesome. Anyways, you know something, I'll tell you right now the stuff that it's not her music. She has great, great taste in music. And I, like, she's one of those people that you can just grab her fucking iPhone and put it on shuffle and just put it on at a party and nothing embarrassing comes on. Everybody's like, fuck, what song is that? What song is that? Like, she's really up on all the good fucking music but

um so anyways uh... the thing that bothers me is the shit that she watches on TV oh jesus christish you watch some dumb shit man you know in a lot of smart women watch that reality shit every then lead they like it and even all this smart it's like you know i guess it's it's like me watching sports Hang on one second the company's here. I got to close the door. Hold on hold on hang on So anyway, she watches all those Those fucking real housewives shows But what she did recently, and this was devastating. What does that sound?

I thought she was talking about my wife yelling me. She put the TV on. This is my wife, but Kim Kardashian, I'm just shitting on this whole couple. You know, God bless them. He sells out the staple center and she goes shopping. Whatever the fuck she does. Right. God bless both of them. Continued success. She came Kardashian and put out this book. Okay. And all the whole book is nothing but her selfies. She put out a book of selfies of herself, not like a bunch of people taking selfies. That would have been bad enough, but it was, it's all pictures of her. And the cover of it is her just standing there with their arms extended out, you know, taking a picture with the powdery lips in her hair all wet.

And I, you know, you know, that overly used expression like, you know, this marks the beginning of the end of civilization as we know it. I hate when people say that. All right, because nothing does. It's a gradual decline. All right, it's just another step. But that thing there, if ever, I was going to say, like I get really got depressed When I look at it it makes me

It gives me this awful feeling when I look at it. I can't describe it. It's just like that. I feel like there's a shift in Just human behavior. I don't know what it is, but Cleo relax. It's fine. You don't have to eat is, but Cleo, relax. It's fine. You don't have to eat anybody. It's a company. Sorry, the fucking dog said it's goddamn ears up.

So whenever I see it, I always walk by and I always turn it over, because on the back there's just writing of like, you know, I guess, recommendations out of all the selfie books, I'll tell you, this one really, I just can't imagine anybody has taken enough selfies that it could fill up a fucking book and that you would think that someone would wanna buy it and then somebody does and then you're married to it.

It's just, it's, it's, and my wife admits she goes, I know, I know, it's so bad, it's so bad, but it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's I don't know if you can hear my voice just talking about it. Like more trees will cut down. They're like a meeting. Okay, guys, which one of these is going to be the cover? We have to figure out what is worthy of the cover. Okay? Which one, what's is the fat, like they had to pick like like pace it. Like like which selfie it goes on the cover, which is the first one that opens the book. Which is

you know, you want to start strong, you know, the same way like you tell, we had to tell a story with these fatows like there was fucking human beings sitting there thinking about that shit. And then they pitched the idea and somebody said yes, and then they made it. And then my wife bought it. And it's in my fucking house and I swear to God if it wouldn't do like major damage to my relationship I would throw it in the fireplace. And she's had it on the coffee table. She had it underneath the TV and she had it downstairs on top of her dresser in each time I fucking turned it over like it was this bill that I didn't want to deal with it and I would say it's that her music taste is un fucking believable. And she truly is one of the greatest people I've ever met.

That's why I fucking married her, But, you know, we all got our stuff. You know what I mean? I sit there and I watch sports and I scream about it and I get mad and I'm trying to be empathetic and saying that that's just as fucking stupid. But I don't think it is, I really don't. That fucking self-help book of selfies, not self-help. Whatever the fuck it is was, I had to walk that one off.

I had to really just be like, okay, yeah, we're married and this is, I know this isn't, doesn't mean anything about her, but Jesus fucking Christ. It's more the influence of that. Like, that's going to influence somebody. The way, when I saw great comedians, I wanted to be a comedian. They're like, I don't know, I guess horrors need to be inspired too, right? But there, I want to be the next Kim Kardashian. I got to take start taking fucking self-help, self, why don't you say in self-help, selfies of myself. You know what, I'm glad you asked me that because I probably bummed all you guys out You know to press you about all the fucking the goddamn Fishing out the oceans so it serves me right that you guys ask me a question that makes me feel bad

Anyways getting married Finance question hey Billy galaxy my lady and I are getting married in two weeks. Good for you, man. If you lover, that's the greatest fucking movie you're ever going to make. I never thought I'd say this. I actually love being married. I like going out doing my spots. I like coming directly home.

I like being in bed by 11. It's fucking great. Now that I'm not boozing, I get up, I'm losing weight. I will tell you though, oh my god. I'm not boozing, I get nop, I'm losing weight, I will tell you though. Oh my god. I'm only a weekend. I drive by billboards and I just see a frosty fucking mug of beer. I'm just like dude. I want 50 of those. I want fucking 50 of those. I'm one of those guys. I'm never gonna just not drink. There's no fucking way. I like it too much. I'm not addicted to it. I just fucking love it. I can't wait for these fucking 72 days to get over so I can fuck my liver up again. I fucking

love it. And I am not ashamed to say it. You know, I'm not slapping around my wife. I'm not screaming at children. I get shit faced in my own fucking home where I go out and go, I'm a happy drunk. You know, I'm a happy fucking drunk. But it's really helping me to count down the days rather than the go up. So because to me to sit there and think I'm at day number seven and I'm trying to get the 72 is fucking brutal. But if I look at the other way and say, hey, 65 more days for some reason, it's like when I'm on a treadmill, I'd rather count down from 60 minutes and start at one. I don't know why. That's how my brain works.

What are you going to do for me? So, what are you going to do for me? what do you want for me? I should sit alright my lady and I are getting married in two weeks All is great very excited yada fucking yada We both have good jobs each making about a hundred twenty five grand a year in Chicago. You guys are crushing it Pay down your credit cards Save up your fucking money and buy something that you can live in and kick the shit out of the principal. All right, have your money work for you.

You earned it, it should work for you. My question is, what advice do you have for us regarding how to share in the finances moving forward? Do we keep separate accounts? One joint account for bills, maybe have knee away in on this. Yeah, I never did the joint account thing. If you're gonna do the joint account thing, like you're really,

you're really taking a risk there because at any moment, especially in the Midwest, you know, your partner can get addicted to meth. Okay, and don't even fucking roll your eyes at me because I do road gigs and I know where the meth before and after fucking billboards are. You get out in the Midwest and, you know, you drive through Iowa, you drive through Wyoming. I know maybe not in fucking. I don't know. and you drive through Iowa, you drive through Wyoming,

I know maybe not in fucking, I don't know. I think that I'm a fan of separate accounts because I understand money and I don't blow it and I invest it as wisely as I possibly can except for my drinking habits and my hobbies. But that would be up to you. It'd be up to one of my relatives got married and he said that was really freaky at first and then it was cool.

I don't think it's a big deal. Like, I trust my wife to combine accounts and all that type of shit. To be honest with you, we just haven't. You know what I mean? But that's something that you guys should probably talk about. But I would say if she's not bringing it up, I wouldn't bring it up either. And if she does bring it up, be like, yeah, why don't we sit down and talk about that? And just have a serious conversation going like, all right, this is a tremendous, tremendous responsibility for me. Always put it on yourself so the listener will actually listen. All right, don't come at me. Hey, fucking shit dick. You know, I don't want you fucking spend

on my money. Don't look at, don't come at me now because they'll shut down and get defensive. You got to come at him like this. Just be like, this is a huge responsibility. I want you to know this is a huge responsibility for me, which then she'll have to say, well, it's a huge responsibility for me too, right? You'll get her to say that. You'll have her on tape saying that and just say, listen, you know, as much as we're married and we're combining our accounts, I respect the money that you're bringing into the account and I want you to know that I would never like go out and buy either something sizable or a bunch of knickknacks that ended up being sizable, chunk out of the fucking account, out of respect for how hard you work

Okay, and really sit down and talk about money talk about how you want to invest it learn about money and all that type of shit So you don't end up like one of these people who puts the money in there and you think everything's fucking fine and then they're they're They got a credit card that they're fucking lighten up and then they attached your fucking, I don't know what, it's one bank account and they go, well you got the money in there, it's under your name, we won our 15 fucking grand and seven eight of that grand is yours and that goes flying out the window because she bought a bunch of blouses and, and choose and this can happen. All right. And I'm speaking from the male perspective because I am a guy. And that doesn't make me a sexist. Okay.

And I've been thinking a lot about these fucking groups, by the way. How dumb it is to join a group and why it's doomed for failure a lot of times is because once you join a group that has a cause, you basically go into this think tank where everybody basically shares the same point of view. So you don't have anybody keeping in check and going like, well, you know, I don't know about that. Or hey, you know, you insulted them, low bet, low bet, you insulted them.

So it's like, it becomes like when two conspiracy theories meet each other. And, you know, conspiracy theorists need somebody to be sitting there going like dude do you really think or I do you know I was with you till then but if two conspiracy theorists meet each other they just do you know what else oh you know what I heard and they just fucking they they just go right down the rabbit hole and I think a lot of times why when I listen to like a lot of the feminists

complaining it strikes me as funny because so much of the shit that they're bitching about I relate to. It's like, yeah, that's happened to me. That has also happened to me. 20% of it, yeah, I'll go with it. Yeah, that's fucked up. But just know that even if you got on par with guys, you're still staring at an 80% fuck over.

That's the best I can give you. Is that sexist? If it is, I don't give a fuck. So anyways, I can't get over that Ford Galaxy man, that is exactly what the fuck I'm looking for. Here's another great one. 2500 bucks. Now here's two door. Let's see what we got here. Oh Jesus a bunch of parts laying around. This is my shit. Uh-oh. That interior is a little bit rough, you know? That interior is too rough. God damn it. What's the engine looking like? Yeah, that's a hunk of shit. All right, hang on, hang on, hang on. Let me go to look at the last one. Jesus Christ. Andrew, you crushed it with these.

All right, this is really interesting to have you guys looking at car. Listen to me looking at cars that you can't fucking see. Oh, there's another guy in 1998. A 68. Sorry. Couple years off there. I don't know, kind of getting into that. I'm going to stick with the 65 though. 65 is bad ass. Here I go again, I'm doing this shit again. So anyways, that's the podcast for this week. Once again, if you'd like to donate to this podcast and 10% of the proceeds will go to the St. Jude Hospital is anytime you go on Amazon just go to Amazon through my website

Which is basically billbird.com and you click on the merch page and you click on the Amazon link doesn't cost you any extra money And they just kick me a little bit of cash for driving traffic their way Other than that, that is the podcast for this week all right everybody you're gonna lose three pounds a week with me over the next eight weeks huh get on the fucking scale today or as it starts tomorrow how about that Tuesday all right we'll start tomorrow because you didn't know what was happening right so it starts tomorrow go to the grocery store tonight you get your oatmeal oatmeal, you get your bananas, your apple, your orange, whatever the fuck you want. You get your turkey slices or whatever fucking meat you want.

You fucking salads One giant salad a day and then at night just get that protein You can go vegan every once in a while at night and then you know what? Take a walk around the block You have no idea what that would do. Hey, Nea. Hey, really quickly. Somebody wanted you to chime in on one of these fucking questions. This is so stupid. Why would I do? Oh, it does. Well, maybe, maybe you can do it next week.

Or I'm not gonna ask you. Clear watch out. You're gonna shut the fucking recorder off. All right. All right. Hey, people asked me. They said. They asked, um, of Nia's music, what group are banned or genre? Do you have absolutely no ability to swallow? And I said, none. I said you had this, you have great taste in music that you, you're

actually one of those few people that you can put your phone on shuffle at a party and you're not embarrassed. However, sit down. Stop trying to divide and conquer. There you go. Why I love this going to work because the one thing that I, the one thing I can't stomach. What's that? The Kim Kardashian selfie book. Like the cover of that book. Oh, yeah. No, I got that book and I have no shame. I've participated in all levels of pop culture. So if anybody has something to say, no, I'm saying it. Nobody else is saying you are saying it. I keep, can you do me a favor with that book? What? You can lay it out anytime you want. Just, just, you always turn it over. Yes. Have the cupboard turned over because that Okay, it suppresses me why?

I just I can't even put it into fucking like if you can't understand why because I just feel like there's this now this this I mean, I just hate her. I just can't stand her. No, I don't hate her like why though? Why are people so bothered because it's because they're like constantly shoved down our throats. No, the complete narcissist. Oh, yeah. And the fact that, you know, the six, that whole fucking famous for being famous, you don't really do anything. You came in, you fucking sucked a dick,

you became famous, the family got behind it. Like, yeah, my daughter sucks the best dick and fucking calabashes. It wasn't quite like that, but okay. All right, okay, I'm sure they had an honorable way of parlaying that, whatever. What, I'm trying not to be judgmentally good for her. She sucked the dick, she got famous,

now she's got a selfie book and she's sitting there, dude. It is just so. Like, so so I when I went to get it I was surprised that it was sold out at this very independent and a hip section of LA. It was sold out They were like oh it's sold out as soon as we got it. This has nothing to do with other people this has to do with me Oh, is this a bit about you? I'm sorry. Go on. Just saying you asked me why it depresses me. Those fucking people when I watch somebody take a selfie. Rather than just look I, you stand from the Hollywood sign, you click on whatever. But when people hold it up over their head and then they're turning their head trying to fucking look better looking than they are and and

sticking your lips out. The duck lips is bad but why wouldn't you try to look as good as possible in a picture that you're taking of yourself? That's what's so great about the selfie. is that you can really see what angle looks best and what the lighting is. I think it's it makes a lot of sense. Logically to me it's it makes perfect sense to adjust yourself before you just take a picture just just like that. No, I want to make sure that I'm looking right. That's the whole point. Why are you why do you look confused? You know what I am old enough to know that I am not going to

convince you otherwise. So God bless you and in the selfies. Just do me if you can we can we can't compromise you just turn the book over. I will just keep it somewhere where it's not in your line of vision since you're so offended by it. I'm not offended by it. It just it depresses me to look at it. Well, I don't want to depress you. Um, I don't be condescending. Just, okay, go on. Just, just get out of here. No, I'm just, I will, I'll keep it out of your site.

I'll keep it out of your site, okay? Are you writing that down right now? No, no, no. I'm not telling you. For you. Do you want to tell the, the, the caffeinated, not the caffeinated story? I would. Can we save that for just checking it on you? Yes.

Because I got to go. OK. Get out of here. Because I got to wrap this up. And internet sucks here. And this will take me four hours to fucking upload. All right. That's the podcast for this week.

On Thursday, I will tell you guys the story of the Decaffeinated, not decaffeinated. You know, I fucked up. I fucked up getting this tea with my wife and she tried to say I wasn't listening and I actually was listening but I thought Decaffeinated, not decaffeinated. I thought that that's what the two flavors were. But it's a lot of fucking story. All right, that was confusing. That's the podcast for this week. Go fuck yourselves. And God bless all of you. Go take some selfies. You know, put out your fucking and you do the little peace sign too. Like whatever that's for. You know, like you're out, even though you're not in my life.

Um, I know, I'm just a crad old man, I'll go fuck yourself. I'll talk to you, I'll check it on your dirty! 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc

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1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc Thank you. you