Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 7-5-19
00:00warm things up this spring with a trip toCirrillas where romance finds fantasy.While flowers are blooming outside,bring them inside with a hugely popular rosetoy from NS Noveltees.Described as small but mighty,the rose is 25% off this month at Cirrillas,along with all NS Noveltees.
00:17Afterwards slip into something as sexy asyou're feeling with a huge selection oflingerie in petite to plus size.Shop Cirrillas in Indianapoliswith six area locations and in Anderson.Or shop online anytime at Cirrillas.com.Hey, what's going on is Bill Burrand it's time for the Thursday afternoon
00:36just before Friday, Monday morning,podcasting. Ah-ha-ha-ha.I'm checking in on you.Checking in on you.I'm just checking in on you.Checking in on you. How are you?It's a day late, but you know,it was the holiday yesterday.
00:50Happy birthday to America.I gotta make sure I'm not gonna be too loud.My lovely daughter is sleeping in the other room.How was your 4th of July?How was your...Hey, hey, hey, Britain.Hey, England, in your fucking face.Huh?
01:10Did you get from trying to tax our fucking tea?Dude, can you imagine if fuckingEngland was still here, right?And they tried to tax the fucking coffeeat Dunkin' Donuts?Be a fucking riot, dude.Hey, can you imagine if Amazontook a fucking picture of your face
01:29and just fucking sold itto a robot company?No one would give a fuck, dude.Dude, as long as that fucking beanbag chairgets here within fucking three days,you know, I'm fucking happy.Dude, I would love a fuckingrobot replacement in myself.
01:48You wanna do my fucking job?Hey, knock yourself out, kid.Good luck to you there, fucking metal me.I don't give a fuck.I'll sit here and drink my fucking coffee.That is not taxed by the English.Thank you very much.It's all the fucking heroes out there.
02:08You know, all the ones who diedin the fucking Revolutionary War.All the ones who died in the warof 1812 fuckingFrench and Indian War.The Civil War,which was kind of fucking stupid.It was Americans killing Americans,
02:29you know, like when Starbucks openedtoo many fucking locations, right?Like what Dunkin Donuts is doing.Like they didn't learn anythingfrom fucking Krispy Kreme.Gonna have a fucking location.More fucking locations than famousraised fucking pizza.
02:48Spanish American War.Fucking...World War I.World War II.It's even better than World War I,just like the Godfather Part II,as far as I'm concerned.Fucking the Korean War.
03:07Conflict.Minus five on the fucking test.Fucking bitch.Made me go to summer school on that one.Fucking Vietnam War.Grenada.Panama Canal.What do they call all these Middle Eastern wars?
03:27The fuckingFreedom Fries.Part I.Fucking who wants cupcakes? Part II.Liberation.I went to the Paul Verzilegendary.Exclusive.
03:47They get a seat at fucking Rao's.All right?With their meatballs and their wise guys.All right, that's up there.Okay, there's something a little further norththat's even more difficult to get a seat at.I'm not talking Frank Pepe's.I'm talking...
04:03Pulling up a seatin the backyard of Paul Verzi's housewith this incredible cigar lounge.Incredible.One of the greatest cigar lounges I've ever been to.And you watch that man light up the nightwith fireworks.Allegedly.
04:24Might have been his neighbor. I wasn't paying attention.Yeah, I went up to Verzi's.Brought the whole family up there.So my kiddo got to meet his kiddos.And it was pretty fucking awesome.Bobby Kelly was there.I'm not gonna name all the names.There was a bunch of people there with their kids and shit.
04:40It was fucking great.And Paul's fucking wifecrushed it with the food.Paul killed it on the grill.What else?And then he lit off all these fucking fireworks.It was a commercial levelfireworks show.
05:00Okay, I'm not talking, you know,some fucking sparklers and that shit.There should have been like a symphony sitting in his yardwhen he was shooting this shit off.And he actually had to dial it backbecause the last timehe did it, the cop showed up.And if you look at Paul, he's very ethnic looking.
05:18Trump is in office.You know, it was very, you know,we thought he was going to get deported.No, he had such a fucking great time.I ate like an absolute pig.And now I'm just going to have to be a good boyfor the rest of the rest of the fucking weekend.But I got my licks in.
05:34Put it that way.Burgers, dogs.His wife makes this incredible sausageand pepper sandwich later.There's like three levelsto the party, right?There's the kid party in the beginningand then the kids go home
05:50and then part two starts, right?And then everybodycrashes around midnightand then it's just, yeah,the return of the Jedi goes from like12 to fucking, I don't know, like 5 in the morning.I'mconsidering I'm not
06:06boozing anymore.That was a hard one.That was a hard day not to drink the 4th of July.You know, and they're playing all the patriotic music.You know?They were paid a bottle of boo.They come to America.That fucking song came on.
06:24That's a really weird song to listen to nowwith the whole build the wall thing.You know?On the boats and on the planes.They come to America.Today.How heavy handed is that fucking song?My country
06:42tith of theetoday.Jesus Christ.Take it down a few.Exactly who the fuck were they singing about?I wonder who Neil was singing about.I think everybody who listens to this songis thinking about somebody else.
07:00I think white people,white people.They probably think about white Europeans.You know, I think Neil Diamond ought tochange the fucking lyrics of that song.And maybe so many Mexicans, you know,immigrants wouldn't be so goddamn confused.You know? Because they probably listen to that song
07:18and they probably see this guy in his sparkly suit.Shirt or whatever.And he's standing up there.He's got a scarf blown in the wind.Hair plugs hanging on for fucking dear life.You know?It's hard enough to staple him into that giant fucking headand then you got all that shoe polish in there too.
07:34Because there's a lot of drag.The little I know about aviation, you know,it's all about weight and bounce.And he's standing up there, you know?Never looking back again.Welcome to Americatoday.Right?
07:52Home.Don't it seem far away?Oh my god, it's one of the schlockiest fucking tunesever.I would put that up therewith that one.That one that that country guy came out with right after 9-11.Uncle Sam, you're gonna stick a boot in your ass.
08:08I mean, Jesus fucking Christ.They must have been laughing when they wrote that songgoing, do you realize how much fucking moneywe're gonna make off of people that have no moneyto buy a fucking cassette tape?Anyway.Isn't it weird that there's fucking countries?But what do you want? Fucking mushrooms?
08:28I don't know.I smoked two and a half cigars yesterday.You know, once again,somebody showed up with a bag of fucking Cuban cigarsand I smoked them and none of them tasted.It wasn't rolled well.It didn't taste real.And I just looked at Bobby and he goes,
08:44this is one of my favorite cigars, dude.And, you know,there was a cannon, of course,and it was fucking delicious.I'm done with fucking Cuban cigars,unless I'm in Cuba.Okay?Or I'm playing the fucking Miami improv
09:00and somebody swims ashoreand I go, are you Dominican?And he's like, no, man, I'm fucking Cuban, right?I can't do the Cuban accent.It's a bad scar face, right?That guy's got cigars.Well, where would he keep them?All right, fuck that.
09:16Unless I'm in Cuba, I'm not fucking smoking.I'm done with those things. They're over fucking priced.They're wrapped too tight.They don't fucking smoke. 90% of them are fake.Fuck that. I'm sticking with myLa Aurora Emeralds.I like the blue boys toothat they make, you know?
09:32I forget which one those are called.What would that be called? The Azirs?Huh?The Blue Eith.So anyways, everybody was, you know,having a good time. They were drinkingand whatever.Joey B. was there.
09:48The whole fucking, you know,the whole crew was there and,you know,I got a couple of looks, people going,hey, Bill, you know, if you wanted to take one day off,if you wanted to take one day offfrom your fucking booze fast, you know,on the birthday of your country,
10:04we'll look the other way.I'll tell you, I thought about it, right?If they said that and there wasa bunch of cold Miller High Life,you know,one of the easiest drinks,one of the easiest beers to drink.It's got a drinkability.
10:20Remember that? A drinkability.But I didn't.I stayed away because I was just like,well, Bill, what has happened every other timeyou've come off from not boozing?You thengo the other way.And you start drinking like
10:36you're fucking working for the city.So,I decided toabstain.I didn't do it and I'm happy that I did.I said, you know, when I got into my 50s,I was going to go sting. I was going to fuckingclean up my act,
10:52and I was going to do a bunch of yoga.AndI've sort of cleaned up my act,and I try to stretch every day,but I haven't been doing the yoga.You know, Brian Kest,that's the one I do, the Brian Kest Power Yoga,if you want to check it out on YouTube.
11:08He's got a class out in Santa Monica.I used to go to it back in the 90s.I haven't been to it for fucking ever.And I remember a long time ago, I still have it.I bought a book that he had that had two CDs.And that thing was likelike 90 minutes long,and that one was the shit.
11:24And I actually downloaded itone time off a fucking iTunes,or maybe back in the daywhen I had the disk drive on the side,when your laptop weighed like 9,000 pounds,I uploaded it and I would take it on the roadand it was fucking great.But it no longer exists as far as I can tell.
11:42So,I don't know, we had a great time.So right before they fucking shot off the fireworks,somebody started singing the National Anthem,and everybody was just like,oh, Jesus, and then a couple more people joined in,and then we just started singing it.It felt like Game 7 again, right?
11:58I started getting the hope again,like the Bruins were going to win or something,and then it ended, and because I'm such a contrarian cunt,well, they weren't ready with the fireworks,so I started singing the Canadian National Anthem.There's always two lines that I forget,but nobody noticed.It's
12:14O Canada, our home and native land,True patriot love and all our sergeant men.This part we haveDa-ba-dee-ba-ja-da-ba-doo-ba-doo,Da-da-dee-da-da-da-doo,Then I'm back in from far and wide,O Canada, we have our God for thee,Grace line ever,
12:30God keep the land,Glorious and free.Right, and by the time I got to there,Joe Bartnick joined in,couple other hockey fans,and then everybody was just laughing.O Canada,we stand our God
12:46for thee.FuckingPorch goes nuts and then Verzi,like a fucking,I don't know,like his comedic timing, right on point.Just started shooting him up in the air.You know?
13:02There was apocalypse nowwith hot dogs.That's all I can tell you.That's all I can tell you,andI don't know,spending this much time back east,and then going up to where they live,
13:18out in the fucking sticks,and that's kind of the way I grew up.I missed the quiet,and I wasriding up there,my lovely wife, my beautiful kid,and I was just talking,and I was like,
13:34I can live up here, whatever,and she gets fucking nervouswhen she leaves the city.You know?Because she's black.How fucked up is that? This is allegedly her country, too,when she gets out there, and she just,it just becomes uncomfortable.
13:50Butshe had an epiphany on this one.She realized that there's sort of,you know,there's the city, and then there's the suburbs,and then there's the country.So she warmed up to ita little bit, but you know, you know how it is.
14:06There's just always, you know, when you get out there,there's always that,you know, circle of white guys talking at a party,and then eventually, if the wrong topic gets brought up,it's like, Jesus, what year is it?You know? It just fucking happens.So I get it,but I will tell you,
14:22I miss trees, I miss quiet,because I have a nice house, and I got a nice fucking,you know, after I dump a zillion dollarsinto it, I got a nice house now.I got my money back.Well, that's it. I've resigned myself to it.I'll give a fuck, right? What am I going to do? Take it when I'm dead?I sit on my back porch, and I have
14:38like moments of quietbefore a police helicopter flies overat 300 feet.You know, you can always hear like the hum of the city,but there's something about being out there,andI've kind of fucked up on my sleep for the last20 years. I don't know what happened.
15:00Like, I got really busy, obviously,and I, when I was living with Bobby Kelly,I used, there was a, I had this summerwhere I was taking naps,and we were living together,and I'd get right around one or two in the afternoon,and I was like, all right, dude, I'm going to lay down for a minute.And I remember the first couple of times,
15:16Bobby was like,what do you mean you can lay down? I was like, I'm just going to fucking lay downand shut my eyes for a second. So I was,I had like the walkthrough bedroom, and he slept on the couchin the living room. He had a railroad apartment, right?So I would go to sleep, and then he would go to sleep.All right? And then I did it liketwo or three days in a row, and by the third day,
15:34Verzi, uh, Verzi, fucking Bobby was going like,he's like, dude, you always call the nap, dude.You just always know when to do it, dude, right?And I did that for, I, Ifelt like for a summer,and I was really rested,and I felt great,and then for some reason, I don't know what,
15:50I got real busy and I stopped doing it,but this summer,I've come back to it,and I got to tell you, as a fucking old man,it's a game, the nap in the afternoonis a fucking game changer.There's something about it where you don't want to do itbecause you don't want to admit that you're fucking old,
16:06but I'm telling you,okay?Mexico's got it right,if they really do do the siestas.I don't know if that's fucking true or not, I've never been down there.I don't know if that's some fucking Warner Brothers cartoon shit,if they really fucking do it,but I'm telling you,
16:22I don't fucking do it.I just did it right now, we just came back from Berseys,you know, my daughter takes a nap in the afternoon,you know,put it to bed,we had this whole fucking ritual,now we put it to bed,like me and Nia, we have to do it together,
16:38we got to sing the Barney the dinosaur,I love you, you love me,right, we got to sing it two times,and there's got to be a dramatic pause after the first one,and then she smiles and looks at both of us,and we got to be like, one more time,and then she laughs, and then we sing it again,and then we both have to put her in the bed,
16:54if just one of us does that messes with,she's like a fucking, like,like Wade Boggs with the chickenand doing the whatever, he would do the Jewish staror something before he would go into the batter's box,you know,she's like that with the nap, everything's got to be fucking right,or she's not on her game,
17:10so we put her down, right,and then we went in the bedroom and that was it,and I just slept for like fucking,I don't know, an hour and a half,two hours, that's longer than I usually,I usually just go like 20 minutes, and I'm good,when like an hour and a half, and I feel fucking great,I'm back into that shit,
17:28all right, oh, Billy dialing it back,oh, Billy's slowing it down,that's who I want to fucking be, right,anyway,you know what's funny, I said I'm fuckinggoing to be eating well and all that shit,I got some root beer in the fridge,and I've been putting off having a root beer float,
17:46I'm going to fucking make one today, all right,go fuck yourselves, the diet starts tomorrow,all right, what are we doing here, how much fucking time,I can never tell with this,this new fangled operation here, 17 minutes,you know what, that's about time,it's about time to do some fucking,oh, before I get into the reeds for this week,
18:08let's get back to the big gay summerof the NBA offseason,okay,no offense, bitches,I always feel like gay people call each other bitchesin the movie, I don't know if they do it in real life,I don't think they do, right, although that newshare thing opened up, like let's do this,
18:24bitches,that is a pet peeve of mine, people who referto other adults as bitches,and they think that they have like thisattitude and this fucking sass,it's just, it's usually the mostboring people, you know,trying to force a big personality on you,
18:42but why do you have to be such a cunt,why do you have to just take away everybody's fun,I don't know, it's how I'm wired,anyways, so the biggay NBA summer continues,okay,Jesus Christ, oh my god,did you guys hear,
18:58well, as oflast week, Kevin Durantwas gonna take him and his gameand all of his shoes to New York Cityto the New York Knicks,but then at the lastsecond, he had asasperilla with fucking
19:14Kyrie Irving,and they just bought a two bedroomout in Brooklyn and they're playing for theNets, honey,so I hope you bitchesdidn't buy a fucking Knicks jersey,um,this fucking NBA,
19:30the NBA offseason with thefucking free agents all talking to eachother and all piling on and havinga big basketball gang bangon the same fucking team isthe silliest, mostuncompetitive fucking thing I've ever seenin my life.
19:46Free agents are the powerbottoms of the NBA.They got no fightingthem.They can't win.Oh, fuck it.I'll just join your clubhouse.Knock, knock, knock,
20:02guess who's here?Um,anyway,and with that, what has happened to thefucking NBA? You know what's funny isVerzi was sitting there talking to me,you know, he missed the last formula onerace as did I, I did, and he's just,
20:18you know, basically, you know, repeatingwhat I'm saying, going like, I don't understandit. It's like, Louis Hamilton wins everyrace, but blah, blah, blah, blah.It's like boring and blah, and it's justlike, well, what is the fucking NBA?The NBA is exciting to youwhen the top 10 people all
20:34the other 28 teams null and void.As the NBAwas it exciting when fucking Kevin Durantwent to the Golden State Warriors and beforethe opening tip off of the first game, youknew the Warriors were going to win the championshipand then they did.Um, I'm just, maybe that's
20:50maybe that's how you like your competition.Um, I don't,you know what I mean?Anyway, that's why I don't followthe war on terror.You know what I mean? I need the other team to have more boatsand planes.You know, other than that, it's been, it's been
21:06like the war on terror has been like watchingthat fucking, it was in the 1990NBAOlympic teamwhen we went by like 160 pointsthat cometo America.Who stuck his balls
21:22in that guy's face?Was that Charles Barkley? I can't even remember.But that's how, you know, sports has beenlike that for, I've never related to that shit.You know, even like the ladiesplaying soccer here, right? They're getting thereinto the final game. I believe they're playing Mexico.We all know how that's going to go down.
21:40Um,America doesn't beat Mexico. America. America doesnot beat Mexicoin fucking, in, in, in, in soccer.It just does not happen. But who knows, it mighthappen today or tomorrow, whenever thefucking game is.But that, that woman there, she scores the goal, right?
21:56And then does the little fucking sip of the cupof tea.Um,that bugs me.Those celebrations, male or femaleor they,those things all fucking bug me.First of all, the, the, the celebrations stink.
22:12Like you're flipping outthat she pretended to sip a cup of tea like, ohshit. You know what I mean?It's kind of like jokes and hip hop.If you listen to a lot of the jokesthat rappers make, if you take the music awayand you just say them out loud, just imaginea comedian saying it.
22:28You know?With all of that ass,you got to be shitting me.You get a groan.You put a beat behind it all, ohshit.Maybe that's why guitarX gets such shit.
22:44I don't know. I've always liked guitar X.All right, let's get to the fuckingum,let's get to the, uh, let's get to the fuckinguh, the reeds here.We're getting up this spring with a trip toCerellas where romance findsfantasy. While flowers are blooming
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29:58legal legal zoom.comhave I got time left29 minutesalright I'll tell you a real quick storya buddy of mine called me up one of my Boston buddiesfromSummerville used to be called slumbervillenow there's a bunch of hipsters there
30:14and fucking cupcake shops everybody ridingaround on bicycles with the little fuckingthumb horns the little bellright I feel like I'm in a fuckingfairy talestress and fairy if you know what I meanhe calls me up rightand he's talking about the ladies
30:32in the world cupand he goes dode have you been watching the fucking world cupthis is what's hilarious about women'ssports slash sad is no matterwhat those women are accomplishingmen will always judge themon their level of how fuckable they areI
30:50don't knowif women do that when they watch professionalathletes I have no ideabut me just calls up dude you've been watchingI said no I've seen the billboards I knowthey're doing well I'd like to get into it I've just beenfucking busyI enjoy world cup soccer and I also
31:06like women's soccer betterthan the men because they do way less floppingthey just go out thereand they get down to business and they play the fucking gamesoit's just like dude some of those chicks are fucking hothe just starts talkingabout all the ones he wants to bang
31:22soI was ata party recently and somebody somehowyou know Wimbledon's on right and they weretalking about someone was talking about how greatthe Williams sisters areand how long that they'vecompeted at that level which is really unheard of
31:38especially with Serenalike when I was a kid by the time you were25 26 you were finishedas a pro you started at like 13or 14 you had 10 12years and that was italright you had a fucking tin cup in your handbegging for quarters by the time you were 29
31:54in that sport and the fact that she's now in herlate 30s and there's still a threat to winanother major is incredibleand this guy's going one of the not only oneof the greatest tennis players of all timeshe's arguably one of the greatest athletes of all timeand as he's saying that and I'm likegoing yeah yeah I agree this other guy in this circle
32:10goes like yeah but she's notas good as good looking as Venusit's like what the fuckdoes that have to do with we're not talking about thatyou know what I meanthat's like dude I think Peyton Manning's betterthan Tom Brady yeah but he's not as good looking asTom Brady Tom Brady is way more
32:30fuckable than Peyton Manning soyou know fuck whatever this other guy's stats arealthough that's a bad comparison becausedo we all know that Tom Brady is the VenusWilliams of fucking quarterbackshe's the greatest of all timeanyways I just thought that that was funnybut I got the weekend
32:46off here so hopefully I'll have timeI'm gonna go on actually now that I'm bringing this upI have to watch a couple of MotoGP racesI missed the last formula one racewhich waseverything that racing used to be and all the oldheads tell me that I missed itbut seriously it only happened because Lewis got
33:04fucking penalized during thethe time trials there and I want to watchthis lady soccer hopefully I didn't miss itI feel like it's I know it's women's sportsno one you know how itworks their fucking cup finalwill be on a Friday when halfthe country's still at work hopefully it's this weekend
33:20I want to watch it andI'm rooting hard because like in hockeywe always lose to Canadaright unless it's the juniors the juniors wealways seem to beat him but that's because their juniorsare so good they're playing in the fucking prosbut we always lose to themin Olympic hockey it seems
33:38andwhen it comes to soccer we're alwayslosing to Mexicosoif the men can't do it I'm hoping the ladies canso I'll be rooting for themand as much as I'm appreciating yourthick shapely thighs there
33:54I will put myfuck damn give a fuckif I see a hot one I'm gonna say something women do that shitmy wife doesn't want you to watch this fucking NBA hoopyou knowhow much ladies how muchfuck this whole goddamn thing good good for my friendstill walking around being openly
34:10heterosexualstill out theresexualizing womenstill out there ignoringthe accomplishment of some great womento talk about what he'd like to do in thebedroom with them God it's nice to know that there'sa few people like that left alright anyways
34:28anywaysladies if you want guysto not sexualize youyou have to dress like Hillary Clinton just getyourself a pantsuitand a crazy smile and you will be finealright that's itGod bless all of you God bless America
34:44you knowtough weekend for the English I know everyyou know they all hang their heads in sadnessyou know because they all stillcare so much about America they won't admit thatthey do you know but they dookaythey love our movies they love our jeans
35:00okay they they they fuckingthey love our chili dogsokaythey're a bunch of fatties over there toodon't even don't even fuckingdon't even kid yourselfalright they just eat different foodthey're big into Indian food over there
35:16Indian food is fucking crazy fish and chipsbut it's all fucking fried shit rightI don't know well why this isa time to bring people together alright wellhopefullywe'll have someyou know what I'm gonna key this up we got someNeil Diamond for you here
35:32I come to America to close outthis fucking podcast and then we're gonnado a littlewe're gonna do a little fuckinggreatest hits Thursday afternoon just beforeFriday Monday morning podcast so you have anextra half an hour from a podcastthat I've recorded previously I don't know last
35:48month ten years ago no fuckingalright God bless Americaand have a great weekendfarwe've been travelingfarwithout a homenot without a
36:06starfreeonly one will be freewe've heard them closehang on to a dreamon the boatsand on the planesthey come
36:30to Americanever lookingback againthose guys always get onon the cross country fucking flightsso anywaysthere was this adorable womannext to me and
36:46she was from Australia hadlittle fuckingaccent and all that type of shitso whatever long story shortwe're taking off from JFKand one of the runways is shut downso it's taken for fucking everright couple people on the plane
37:02are in wheelchairs so that takes more timeyou know your proverbial fat fucksyou know the whole dealso uhwe take off like an hour and a half latejust a whole fucking thing by the time we landwe landthere's no gate and then we gotta sit there
37:18and wait to get towed in and the whole thing's taken foreverand she does this shit where she just goesshe says she goes is everything in Americaslowyou knowso I let it slideand then the plane lands and we're all trying to seewho won the Celtics or the Lakers
37:34because we all missed the fucking gamethank god ESPN showed the replay I caught the second halfand it goes around the plane like wildfirefire you know the Celtics wonCeltics won and this girl mygirl was joking about how much people give this shitand then this girl makes comicsfucking blah blah blah
37:50and it's just like you know whatI let it slide with thefirst fucking one but it's just really you knowlike they always talk about the ignorant Americanwhat kind of a fucking asshole comes herefrom another country and shits on thecountry to somebody who's from this countrywhen I was over in England I didn't walk around
38:08saying to English people how fuckingawful their torsos were I didn't do thatthey said I enjoyedEngland I'm like it's fucking great I can'tleave them over here Royal Albert Hall it'sbeautiful I can't waitto come over here again phenomenal fuckingcity I didn't say
38:24your food sucks you guys allhave will ferrell mushy torsosI didn't say any of that shitI didn't talk about your teeth being fucked upI didn't talk about theweird inbred look becauseyou've all been fucking each other and the samegoddamn strip of land
38:40for fucking thousands of years I didn't do thatshit I was on my best behavior and here I amsitting next to this fucking clamthere's everything in America slow as opposedto whatthat beacon of speed that fucking Australiaisfucking people you know I went to Australia
38:56I was there for like three daysI had a good time down there but you know I couldhave picked that place apartall the unemployed people just sitting inbars drinkingthat fucking idiot you know same fuckingcunts same goddamncunts that's all it is everybody
39:14taking potshots in America now that's whatit is because we've been on topand we've been exploiting their labor I guessmaybe that's maybe we deserve a little bit of thatshit but you know what take look in the fuckingmirror Australiaor woman from Australiathe fuck I went there I was just like wow
39:32like I was going into the futurecan I have a hamand then the fucking sandwiches right in my handbefore I even finish it I didn't find them tobe overly fast over there eitheryou waityou fucking wait you think it's not comingyour way our corporations
39:48are just ahead of thecurve of whereyour corporations are our corporationshave basically exploitedevery last legal waythat they can make more fucking money over hereso now they're just stealingthey're just stealing and they're cutting
40:04fucking staffmembers I actually had to wait likea half hour 40 minutes to get my baglast nightI think it was that Sunday thing once againit's Sundayso we just have like a skeleton crewI don't know
40:20all I'm saying you knowit's just bugging me it's like do you think I knowthat that shit isn't a little fucked up over heredo I need you to come over hereI would never be in Australiaand go like yeah Australiansto another fuckingAustralian you know that's the type of
40:36I just felt like fucking stuffing herin a goddamn boogie board bagboogie board bag why did I pick thatbecause I saw that documentary of thatstupid fuck from Australiawho's put 200 pounds offucking weed into a boogie board bagall right alliteration for you
40:52and then goes to like Baliyou know if you even have coldmedication they hang you by your balls in thepublic square and she gets lifeimprisonment that's whatyou get you dumb fuckthat's what you getthat's one of my theon fuck Australia
41:08that's how it workssee that's how it works right therethere's a lot of people in Australia right nowmaybe listen to this shit going you knowI would never say that I would never do thatif I went yeah well one of you didso there you go do you think Germanylikes to be judged by Hitler alone
41:24they don't I bet there's a lot ofsweethearts over in Germanylook at all those fucking fat jolly peopleduring Octoberfest running aroundhere in Hansel and Gretelyou know shitting on each otheror whatever weird fetishes they're into over therewhat's going on how was your weekend
42:04did you have a good timedid you blow off your fuckingfingersumdid you enjoy the 4th of Julyyou know first of allfor right out of the gateright out of the gate I want to thank everybody
42:20that did some dumb shitwith fireworks and had thepresence of mind to fuckingmake a youtube video out of ityou know so guys like me could justsit there I was laughing my ass off last nightI went to bed and I was watching peopleshooting bottle rockets out of their
42:36ass having Roman candle fightsseeing somebody take one to the facedo you know some guy in Mainelit something off on topof his fucking head and he diedinstantly they were likehe lit off they said somea mortar
42:52something fucking insanewhat kind of you knowwhat kind of a fucking asshole would do something like thathe must have had itthere's no wayeverybody knows once you get upto anything likea pack of firecrackers on your head
43:08you're like that's funnyyou're gonna fucking killyour eardrums and you know but you're gonna survivebut what do you put an M80in his mouth or somethingwell I don't know Bill you fuckingbrought it up alright relaxlet's just look up Maine guy
43:24diesfireworksalrightman shoots off fireworks from top of his headdies instantly a 22 year oldman was drinking and celebratingthe 4th of July happy birthdayto America
43:40dude put it on my head happybirthday to AmericaI'll fucking light it happybirthday wowMichaeloh my god somebody callingambulancethat's how it went down
43:5622 year old man who was drinkingand celebrating the 4th of Julytried to launch a firework from top of his headkilling him instantly authority saidauthority saidyou gotta be an authority to say that somebody is fucking deadafter they light something off on their headwait a minute wait a minute
44:12clear clear the wayyes yes he is deadwell they kind of knew that he has brains all over the sidewalkwatch your mouth womanwatch your mouth womanone of my favorite quotes in sportsover the last fuckingI don't know how many months six months
44:28watch your mouth womanwhen that woman calledasked LeBron what it was like to be a punk ass bitchand then that guy is going watch your mouth womanwatch your mouth womanand you would think that the broads would have had suchwould have fucking difficulty with itlike you know I realized
44:44she said something derogatorytowards him but that's no excuseno excusego change your broad ladyI love that they didn't say anythingbecause even they knewthat bitch was out of lineI'm just talking shit today
45:04they won't say what kind offirework it wasapparently he thoughtthat was a great ideajust when you died in a stupid fucking waywhen somebody starts it offwhen they start your eulogyoff with apparently
45:20apparently this guy thoughtsticking his head in the garbage disposalwas going to give him a good buzzI'm sorry to bring it upClaire but you knowhow did he even get it in therehallelujahhis friends said
45:36they thoughtthey dissuaded him from doing itthe next thing they knew he ignited the fireworkand he was killed instantlywhat the fuck did he shoot offthere was no rushing him to the hospitalthere was no Devin leftwhen I got there
45:56said 25 year old CodyJesus Christ the names of this generationDevin, CodyJeep WranglerDevin was the kind of personwho would do something stupidabsolutely he was the kind of personwho would pretend to do something stupid
46:12and make people laughwell he wasn't faking italright it's the first fireworks fatalitysince they legalized fireworksJanuary 1st 2012well he just fucked it up for the whole stateit's bad enough everyone's on heroinnow you're going to give them fireworks
46:30I mean what nextdoes ISISget their own juice storecome on peopleover18% ofbottle rockets are shotout of people's anuses
46:46in this state alonethisneeds to stopwoothat's going on in main streetright now in Mainehi do you know me of courseyou don't
47:02I'm your regular housewifehere in Mainemy son is on heroinmy other sonshot a roman candleup his assI'm sorry to be graphiche was trying to shoot it
47:18out of his assbut apparentlyis excitementwell who's getting whoI mean in order to light the wickyou got to be able to see itso I don't know how these things were donewhen we were kids we just
47:34that's what we didDevin was a great personand inNew Jersey a 52 year old manblew off a large piece of his legbelow the kneewhen he set off a tennis ball sizefirework
47:50in MontanaMontanaa 32 year old man was killed at hisbuilding's home in a fireworks accidentinvolving a mortar tubealright at leastthere was some sort of mortar roundI mean mortar round I mean
48:06first of all when you start lighting offshit where your neighbors start screamingand comingwhat do you think is going to happenlet's look up a mortar tubehere everybody I'm learning about fireworksthrough the death of my fellow AmericansI spilt motar
48:24alrightfirework mortar tubeshow about some images let me seewhat the fuck these things look likeis there some sort ofalright all I see is army guysyeah that's not goodyou know when the shit
48:42you're shooting offoh there we gowell there's one that looks likea little barbershop thingwhat a fucking dopehe shot that off his headyou know what probably happenedI would guess is that there was some sort of
48:58discharge from the bottom end of itin the concussive forcebut it seems like there was no Devinhe fucking blew his head offyou know Jesuswhat a way to start I had such a wonderful weekendI didn't mean this when I was talking about funny shitI was just talking about you know people
49:14having Roman candle fightscome on we all did that shit rightthat's the evolutionof all weaponryalrightanything that has an explosivedevice anything thatit's explosive device
49:30anything that fucking blows shit upyou just you startor anything that you can shootat a targetit always starts simplelet's light it offyou know let's point itin that direction at the trees
49:46rightand then what then you move up tolet's torture some insectslet's shoot a birdand eventuallybecauseyou knowthe way human beings are
50:02that we always try to top one anotherand we get bored which is the reasonwhy we are from walking to the horseto the carI'm really in deep right now I knowI don't know what the fuck I'm talking abouteventually you're gonna move to thethe ultimate prey the human being
50:18you knowsomething that can think the same way you dobetter in math than you didyou know that's the challengethis person passed algebra I did notwe're both trying to killone anotheris you know
50:34first outside insidelast gonna come into play herewhen we're out in the woodsour oppositeangle is being congruentis that gonna be the death of meor do I just havethat extra something
50:50do I warn it a little bit moream I able to block out the fifth commanditdo I have such a strong religiousbackground that I can hearGod's voice in my headtelling me that I'm righttelling me to deliver
51:06that animalit's not even a man anymore it's a fucking animaldeliver that animalin the express laneto its makerdo I have thatI mean it's inevitablethat's personally why I don't fuck with fireworks
51:24I don't fuck with fireworksbecause I knowthat I am scatterbrainedand I get bored easilyand I have 10,000 fucking hobbiesand eventuallylighting it off in the driveway is not gonna be enough for meokay
51:40I have neighbors I have neighbors that I get along withmaybe I'm boredwith the fact that I get along with themmaybe I want to startmaybe some days you just wake upand you just want to start some shitand you just happen to have some fireworksthat don't just blow up
51:56they go way up in the airand you want to shoot somebody rightanywaysmy condolences to anybodywho knows somebody that diedI don't want to make condolences for the people that died because you're fucking deadand you're either deador you think you're in a better place
52:16because someone who's dumb enoughto blow themselves up on the July 4th weekendwith their own goddamn explosivesI don't think ever had the brainsto really hurt another human beingknowinglyI never knowingly liedknowingly hurt another fucking human being
52:32I mean honestlyif you're that fucking stupid obviously you could go outand you could hurt somebodybut you knowdo you really have the mental capacity to understandyou knowyour actionsthey come into America
53:16they come into Americathey come into AmericaWarm Thanks Up This Springwith a trip to Cyrilluswhere romance finds fantasyWhile there flowers are blooming outsidecontribution inside with a hugely popular, Rose Toyfrom N.S. Noveltease
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