Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-15-24

Episode Date: August 15, 2024

Bill rambles with Dean Delray about The Caverns, flipping quality stuff, and getting clipped on the 101. Tickets to see Bill and Dean at the Caverns September 8th - https://www.thecaverns.com/event/bill-burr-with-dean-delray-in-the-caverns (00:00) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast (01:01:11) - Thursday Afternoon Throwback 8-15-16 - Bill rambles about supermodels, mootz-ah-rella, and Billy Squier. Thursday Afternoon Interlude:  Pearl Jam - Amongst The Waves HelixSleep:  Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners at www.HelixSleep.com/BURR 

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move and download Monopoly Go. Now free for the App Store and Google Play. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Thursday afternoon. Just before Friday Monday morning podcast and I'm just checking in on you. Seeing how your week's going. Obviously this is video man, which means I have a special guest and this week one of my great friends in life and in comedy and in the universe is going to be taping a stand-up special just outside of Nashville, Tennessee in September 8th. The 8th.

The 8th. September 8th at the cavern please welcome the one and only Dean Del Rey to the podcast fuck that guy ain't funny fucking guy funny fucking bill brings him out this guy ain't funny what do you always do you'd always think that people think that you've been fucking murdering in front of me like I'm imitating one comment in the thing There's always gonna be of course, you know what I was actually so I was talking about critics the other day and I was saying oh, you know

If somebody like takes this, you know piss out of your act or whatever, you know as a critic But if you look at their reviews and they don't like anything, it doesn't really hold, it's like, well, you don't like anything. I really feel like critics every once in a while should just give it up to something so you know that they actually do like something.

So there's a way that somebody can perform that they actually approve of. I don't know, the whole thing is weird, but I try to, I stay away from that, and when friends of mine put out specials, I don't look, I don't read the comments, because I know that it's just gonna be, who gives a fuck about this?

Well, you know what I always said, if you think a comment is gonna bother me, I would have stopped fucking 100 years ago. Well that's also the thing too. It's just like, oh my god, you got me, Leo in Oklahoma. One of my favorite comment, I don't know, analogies or whatever was, Vince Neil, some bullshit happened and they go, oh my god,

this happened and that happened, these people saying that and he just was just like hey man you know it comes with the gig yeah you know it's just like I'm gonna put myself out there as a musician I stand up on the stage I get all this good shit and then the balance is this stuff happens and right now this stuff's happening and it was like there was no way to refute it like he wasn't fighting it he wasn't saying that it was it wasn't embarrassing or whatever It was just yeah, just was what?

Remember the David Lee Roth one. He's like all the critics like Elvis Costello because they look like him There's a guy we can relate to yeah Yeah, that guy has had some amazing, amazing one-liners and like analogies and stuff. So anyway, let's get into my world with Dean Del Ray. So I met Dean years ago at the comedy store. I remember, this is when you were fat, Dean. Yeah. It was funny, you used to look like an ex-cop You know you had like you just had a mustache you were eating all the candy and you pulled up on the bike

And you just came walking in you're like hey, what's going on? You just started like talking I was like who the fuck is this guy? I was like is this another one of these weird you know those transient people that yeah, they don't so much Jesus people that they don't so much. Hollywood Jesus. You passed away. Yeah. You'd get these guys that would come. That old gay, the old gay guy, whatever that that fucking guy, he would come through. And then Boom Shaka Laka. Yeah, him. Yeah. I met with that.

He would sell stuff on the patio. I was grouped in with one of them. Oh, yeah. I didn't know if you were like one of those guys. But those guys, I always wondered. Like you were like one of those guys, but those guys I always wondered Like once that part of sunset died because the foot traffic on sunset is over I love that era of the star because it was a fucking It was like what oh nine 2010. Yeah, I started in oh nine. I met you at 2010 because I remember exactly what happened. I had been doing comedy for like six months,

and Jay Davis was headlining a NASCAR corporate gig in Arizona for all the NASCAR people. And he goes, hey man, you got 20 right? And I go, oh yeah, it's a feature for this NASCAR thing. So we're sharing a hotel room and... Wait, NASCAR wasn't gonna fucking shell out money for two rooms? I don't know if Jay got money for two rooms

and was like, here it is. He's not like that, but I don't know what the situation was. It's just like, I'm gonna do 20 minutes. I had eight minutes, you know? I get it. But we were in the hotel room and he goes, "'Who's your favorite comedian?' I was like oh, man. I I love you know Carlin And I'm naming the you know prior the guys and I go how about you and he said bill burr

And I was like I've never heard of them this 2010 He goes all you guys see this video, and I guess it had just happened like a year before the Philly rant Oh, yeah, it was a couple years before that. So yeah, so anyway, he shows it to me, and then the next day I walk into the store hallway and there you are, and I was like, oh hey man. I felt like I knew you. Yeah, that's how you came up to me. And then I was like, what the fuck?

And then we started talking music and you showed me your Bon Scott tattoo on your rib cage. And I was like, all right, this guy's from the same neck of the woods as me. So anyway, never since then you've been doing standup, you've been opening for me for at least six, seven years on the road, and now you're getting it, you're leaving the nest here, you're doing your own special.

Tell me about like this venue that of course, you know, you found it, cause you find all the cool shit. This is like, it's literally a club that this person in Tennessee carved into the side of a mountain. It's like inverted Mount Rushmore. Is that what's going on here? It's a Red Rocks underground. Not as big of course, but it's basically this guy,

you know, he was going through some bad times in his life and like a Three-day weekend came up and he's like, what am I gonna do? And he goes I'm gonna go check out these these caverns in Tennessee outside of Nashville an hour just to release his head so he's in one of these caverns and he goes hey man This would be a cool music venue. And they're like, what? And he talks to the owner and goes, hey, you mind if I do a music show in here? First one he does, Chris Stapleton, an unknown Chris Stapleton does a show. Wow. Yeah. And there's footage of it. You got to see it on YouTube. It's unreal. Type in Chris Stapleton, the Caverns. Wait, so it was already a structure was already built in there? It was a cave with kind of lights and stuff that you could tour these caves, you go down

these stairs. But he looked at it as like, fuck, I could maybe do a concert in here. The stage would be there, some people. And he talked the owner into it. And then he starts doing shows, he launches a show called The Cavern Sessions on PBS. He's a big fan of Austin City Limits. He kind of mimics the format, wins four Emmys.

So the walls and the ceiling are the actual cavern, and then he built like a floor. Is there doors to walk in or do you just sort of walk into the? It's kind of a big, it's called Big Mouth Cavern. It looks like a big mouth catfish and you walk in, I'm sure there's some kind of security doors now and then you just go in and then they have seats

and they built a bar and bathrooms and everything. It's been going on 12 years. And I first found it, somebody sent me, I'm a huge Black Cross fan, they sent me Chris Robinson playing there about six years ago. And I was like, I thought it was a fake venue. I go, what is this?

Because it looks like- No, and I saw it, it reminded me, do you remember when the $6 million man fought Bigfoot? Yeah. Do you remember when he's running down and there was like that thing, the hallway's running and the thing was spinning? Yeah, they got it at Universal. You go in, it feels like you're going upside down in the tram.

They got that stuff. Oh wow. It's great. But, so, I thought it was fake like that, you know, or something in like France or something No way in America with OSHA and all the rules could you do that? But it turned out I've dove down the rabbit hole and it was in America and then I kind of forgot about it And then somebody a publisher or publicist Hit me up said hey, this guy's putting a book out he's

got a really cool venue called the Caverns you want to interview him I go wait that's that place outside of Tennessee I absolutely want to interview him so I have him on and mid interview I go look dude I got to do my my comedy special there and he's like let's it man. I'm Todd Mayo his name's Mayo like like an officer and a gentleman Mayo nays Alright, so that was it and I am cuz I was gonna do it in a club and you're like now man You're fucking Dean Del Rey you like the cool shit do it in the caverns. I was like, alright, let's do yes Yes, definitely cuz then it kind of opens up. I mean, I don't know who's gonna shoot it or whatever, but it's definitely gonna be a, like visually,

you know, it's gonna look, I mean, I, half the fucking battle is like trying to dress up a venue where there's already been like nine, you know, music, comedy, whatever things shot at those. Cause right now, like the amount now, just the sheer amount of content that is coming out and the way that people like devour it and stuff, there's only so many venues. So I'm trying to think, the last time I did a,

like, it seemed like every time I did a special, someone had done one, like not Royal Albert or Red Rocks, but like, I remember the one I did in Atlanta. Rogan had done that, like not Royal Albert or Red Rocks but like I remember the one I did in Atlanta. Rogan had done that. Tabernacle. I just did one at the Moor. And I know Patton had done one and somebody else had done one up there. Was it Wanda? I can't remember. Somebody else did one. This is the first in the caverns. Yeah, that's the first one. It's very very hard to find a venue, but it doesn't surprise me,

because Dean's the kind of guy, like whatever you're into, and I mean whatever, from a bottle opener to the top of the line fucking vintage guitar or car, he knows the guy, he knows where to find it. Like when I tell the stories I have in that John Bonham Green Sparkle drum kit,

like I've been looking for it for years. I called you up and within like the week you had it. And then it was like in my fucking house. I had two different ones. I go, do you want a mint one or kind of a beat up one? And we went for the mint one. So I had actually found two. Yeah, and it didn't end up being mint

because the mount on the bass drum, it was a little stripped so it couldn't hold the weight of like, you know, I got the Bonham cymbals. It was a very embarrassing period in my drumming where I was just like, I'm gonna buy the exact same stuff, John Bonham, it was really, it was like- That's what everybody does, right? Like you want the Randy Rhoades guitar.

It's funny because Randy Rhodes came out. Or you could take a different approach and try to make the instrument you have famous. Yeah. Randy Rhodes wasn't going like, oh, I want the fucking, you know. Yeah, he had the Eddie Van Halen, you know, striped guitar. Oh, he did.

No, I'm saying he didn't do that. He came up with his own shape. But the interesting thing about that- Did Eddie and him get along? Well, I think that the word on the street is, Eddie's fair warning plane is a reaction to how, you know, Randy Rhoades was getting so much glory for the Blizzard of Oz and the Diary of a Madman record.

Because here comes Eddie with this dark record and riffs, and that's a masterpiece record, and his plane is at the highest level. So they were pushing each other. Yeah, absolutely. But Randy died so young that, like, he didn't have a time to, like, I wouldn't even think that the level that they were both recording and touring at the time,

you'd be surprised if they ever even run into each other. Because I always heard like Eddie, I'm like fascinated with Van Halen. Oh yeah, the best. So I always heard like Eddie and Alex, like they never went down to the rainbow. They were always in the studio. They would play every single day, practice every single day. And I loved when I heard that, because the dedication to it. But then I also kind of heard the pressure

of when you're number one. People don't get, everyone wants to be number one, but to stay there. Yeah, it's like when you become a top comic. How are you going? It's like you, you're doing arenas, you're doing arenas, and then if you back down to theaters, it's like, it's like you, you're doing arenas, you're doing arenas, and then if you back down to theaters, it's still fucking fantastic.

But then people go, he's not number one anymore. He's only doing 5,000 seats now. It's like, I'm trying to do 50 seats. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't pay attention to any of that. No, not at all. I'm more like into like whatever's like gonna be fun. Yeah, yeah, so I don't know.

If you do this shit long enough, advice I'll give you is you should be competing with the last thing that you did. Yeah, not what other people did. Yeah, cause that's gonna take you outside of you, and it's also possibly going to take you away from something great that you were going to do if you stayed on your path. I'm not saying you shouldn't be inspired or influenced by people,

but following every trend, that's something you do as a young comic, and at some point you hopefully gain a maturity of like confidence in what it is that you're doing and what you're bringing to the table and then being like, all right, this is what the fuck I'm putting out and whatever shows up, I can live with that because I'm saying what I want to say. And then you just always have to understand like, you know, that there's always going to be somebody new coming along. There's always going to understand, like, you know, that there's always gonna be somebody new coming along, there's always gonna be somebody better than you,

there's always gonna be somebody selling more tickets than you, fucking this, that, that, I don't know, whatever. And it's just like, what was it, the Greeks that said that? Comparison is the quickest way to unhappiness or something? I forget where the hell I saw that. It's just like stupid shit on the internet. I mean, I'm fucking 58. I started when I was 44.

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Yep. You went into comedy. You became like the podcast for ACDC and like, I don't even know, how did that, that came about from doing the benefit? Yeah, the Bon Scott bash, the head of Sony, which was ACDC's label came to the gig. And then remember originally what happened was

he took me to lunch the next day and said- Let me just intro this for a second. Yeah. Dean has been doing this Bon Scott tribute since way back when you lived in San Francisco. Yeah. 20 something years ago, right? I've been doing it almost, well, it's 42 years or something.

Bon's been dead or 40. I started it about three years after he died in San Francisco. So, you know, 38 years or something. Okay, and he just gets like these top level, like the few times that I've done it, you know, 38 years. Okay, and he just gets like these top level, like the few times that I've done it, you know, I'm playing with guys from Motley Crue, Anthrax, just giants, black crows, Slayer, all of this, like just incredible, you know, rock stars playing at this thing. And so the level of like the musicianship

when you guys do it, did anybody from ACDC watch any clips from that, seeing you singing and all of that? I don't know because when the auditions were going down for, you know, when Brian was out, they did audition a couple cover singers. One of the guys put out a mini documentary on YouTube about it,

because you sign NDAs and you can't talk about shit for years, but he finally dropped this documentary, you know, about him auditioning. So I had never been in contact. I would have gone with Jim Brewer. Jim Brewer does a great Brian. Well, this one guy, see see I can't do Brian. It's a weird, it's just not in my wheelhouse.

I can do Ozzy, I can do Bon, but Brian is like, it's like razor blades. I really cannot do Brian, and I think he's one of the greatest rock singers of all time for those about to rock, Flick of the greatest rock singers of all time for the Those About the Rock, Flick of the Switch, and Back in Black. His singing is mind-boggling on those records. Where it really is. It's just like- I mean, he's screaming.

He's screaming, but it's not when you hear- Like if you changed his lyrics and just had him yelling at his wife, it would kind of sound the same. Yeah, but you know when people imitate these guys, they do it all wrong. They're like, oh, you know, I'm a poor thunder, a poor rain, you know, and that's just like how they sang. Bond is like, basically that's his voice. He always sounded amazing live where other guys didn't sound good live. You hear bootlegs at Bond, That guy sounded amazing, you know?

But my point is the guy asked me to go to breakfast the next day and really what he wanted to do was put the Bond-Scott tribute on tour for Seven Dates. Remember? Put a bus. Oh, that's right. Yeah, we were gonna wrap it in the new album cover artwork and we were gonna play Seven dates around America you me and

Comedy and and this bond thing to promote the power-up record But then kovat hit and it did not happen, you know, and then later on he goes Yeah, I'm gonna make it up to you. I'm gonna get the guys on the podcast all of them and I was like this is insane You know, I did. Did you interview all of them all of I was like, this is insane. You know, I did. So did you interview all of them? All of them. Yeah. Remember I did.

You and I did a Phil Rudd. I sat with Phil Rudd. That was ridiculous. Talked drums and helicopters with him. Yeah. Yeah. It was the only time he perked up when we're talking helicopters. Because drums, he was like, oh, eh, I don't know.

It's a sonar kit. You know, like real short. Yeah. I've mentioned that a few times on podcasts. If you're gonna interview somebody super famous, find out what their hobby is and talk about that and the fucking light comes back on. But if they have to sit there

and answer the same fucking 20 questions about, you know, do you get nervous before you do shows? Yeah, that's fucking the worst. It's like people ask me to be on their podcast and they always go like, okay, so he is a musician, now he's a comic. I'm like, I've done this, you know? Like I did it on the biggest. I just did that.

No, no, but you and I, you and I play together. So that's different. I'm just talking about where people just grab like your bio and then they just read the first two lines from your bio. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I got that. That used to happen to me a long time. Somehow on my Wikipedia page,

somebody had put on there that at some point I was a hygienist. A hygienist. Oh yeah, yeah. I was a hygienist and I wasn't. Yeah, but you worked with your dad, right? Yeah, in the dental, I was just an assistant. I just gave him the shit and he did the stuff. But I'm a, a hygienist was way beyond whatever the hell I wasn't. Yeah, but you worked with your dad, right? Yeah, in the, I was just an assistant. I just gave him the shit and he did the stuff.

But I'm a, high genus was way beyond whatever the hell I was doing, so. And I never took it down, because I thought it was funny. Like misinformation is just funny to me, so I was just like, you know, it says on your Wikipedia. Yeah, it says a lot of things. It's like, you know you can just write

whatever you fucking want. And if they, it says a lot of things. It's like, you know you can just write whatever you fucking want. People can edit your Wikipedia page. Other people can get on there and put shit on. I don't get how that works. I don't either. And how do they vet the information? So how do I know what I'm reading? Yeah, that's why.

That's the thing I don't fucking understand. Not only do I don't understand that there's no libel or slander on the internet, there's no like FCC, there's no nothing. No rules. There's no fucking rules, but then simultaneously, you know, if you do a joke in a comedy club, you can get in way more trouble

Than somebody that's in the pornography world. Yeah that basically you upload this porno onto the internet Any kid with the phone underage can watch whatever fucking horrific shit you and your chick just did or God knows what and like That's it. That's more put on the parents. Like, we need to like have stricter guideline. You have to like make sure they can't go to these adult sites and blah, blah, blah. Just how crazy it is.

And I just think it's because the politicians like watching the porn too. Oh yeah, absolutely. They like, I don't know. Or they're making the porn. They're making money. I don't know. It's it's it's yes that that that aspect of it is something that you know that's probably good next time somebody gives

me shit about a joke yeah go after go all right yeah so I'm the problem what about what's on the internet you can pretty much you can watch beheading videos on the internet you can watch murders on the internet? You can pretty much watch beheading videos on the internet. You can watch murders on the internet. Yeah, aren't you more upset about that than my stupid whatever fucking joke? What was it? Rogan just put out a special and they're giving him shit about it. It's like this guy, like he's the problem. That's what the problem is. I think if you put out a special and they don't give you shit, it didn't matter then. You know what I mean? It was like.

Do you even believe that they're giving you shit or they just fucking. They're just doing it. They're just doing it to get like a 10. I don't know who gives a shit. Well here's the thing. You want them to give you shit cause it's like that old PMRC label.

Cause now people are like, well I gotta hear that record or I gotta see that special. Yeah right? What was PMRC again? Parents. Parental. What was it? Because now people are like, well, I got to hear that record or I got to see that special. Yeah, right. What was PMRC again? Parents? Parental. What was it?

Parents? Yes. It was Al Gore's wife. Yeah, and fucking that idiot from the Beach Boys. He didn't have her in line. He didn't have who? Mike Love? Yeah, he was promoting it.

I just saw a thing of him at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame talking shit about Mick Jagger. Yeah! That fucking guy, man. It's like Brian Wilson is the beach boys. No, okay, let's just say, let's just say for whatever reason Mick Jagger does bug him. Why would you do that there? Because all you're gonna do is just look petty.

And I bet Mick never responded, right? Yeah, no, no. You know what? There's these people out there that when they stop being relevant, they go after other people. Instead of just going, hey, I had a great time. I sang in the Beach Boys. We had massive success.

Unbelievable. Thank you. Instead, they're like, yeah, it's like people that go after like Taylor Swift, like that's even in there. Like ISIS? Yeah. Oh yeah, that was crazy, right? What the fuck?

That's how big she is. Turns out she has better security than other people. I know, oh my God. Fuck. Well, ISIS goes oh my god. Fuck. Well, ISIS goes after countries. Yeah. So that's how big she is. Yeah, man.

Wow. But I mean, you know, like people. How would you like to keep doing that tour? Oh, fuck, right? You're in the band? Well, she canceled those tours in Austria. And shout out to whoever figured it out in Austria. Yeah, that's amazing.

Yeah, yeah. thank God they did. And then, oh yeah, oh yeah. And then the amount of like comedians they saved by not having that, cause someone would have done the joke. Oh, yeah. And then that would have been like,

ah, too soon or whatever. That would have been a bad thing. But, so one of the things that does, to get outside of the comedy and the music thing, is your ability to spot things of quality, the amount of stuff that I've seen you own, and then you sell it, it's like, this fucking guy is forever selling shit on eBay.

I hate it, I hate it. I hate it. But it's. I was just talking about it on the ride over here. Like this, you have no idea. There's anybody in the world that deserves a sold out show for his fucking Santa special. Dude the level that you've grinded. That's it.

In your fucking life. He sold Harley Davison's for a while. He's fucking sold everything. Guitars, amps, cars. My favorite thing. He sold Harley Davison's for a while. He's fucking sold cars amps My favorite thing can you tell me the fucking stories when you worked at Harley Davidson and some jerk-off like me would come in and you Be like that guy's gonna die man. It's just fucking yeah, you know I go I don't know tell the story the guy with the guy who fucking rev the yeah

I say selling motorcycles is exact to selling drugs Most people are gonna die on them, but I needed the money You know, yeah, you just like well if I didn't sell the motorcycle something else like yeah, you got him. So You know when I stopped playing music It's a craze. It's the craziest story And a matter of fact, I'm always like is anybody seeing what the fuck I'm doing over here as far as like the amount of craziness to where I'm at now you know like you know played music then started selling motorcycles meet

Tarantino do a Tarantino film then do it what Tarantino movie were you in the hell ride in the grindhouse once the biker one Then I do an ice cube film from there. I meet Earthquake and Garrett Morris. They tell me go do comedy. I start comedy at 44 and then I end up fucking doing 6000 fucking shows paid regular at the store and the cellar, and I'm like, is anybody fucking seeing this? You know what I mean?

Yeah, well there's ridiculous ageism. Oh yeah, oh yeah. And I had no idea, because I met you and Maren, and I go, these guys are my age. Yeah, and then I didn't realize you guys were in it for 35 years. Well the thing about,

there was always guys to look to, everyone from Rodney Dangerfield, Louis Black, you know, and then I always would like look at guys like Louis Black, I can't say Chris, cause Chris Rock was like, when he really, I think it was like 30 or 31, that was, I mean, now just looking back, that seems ridiculously young, but it always seemed like the guys that like really hit

and hit hard were sort of late 30s, 40s, where, you know, hitting earlier than that, that's a lot for a young person to handle, I would think. But anyway. Well, even when I met you, you hadn't hit yet. You were starting to, but I really remember a specific story, you and I were doing the Nashville Comedy Festival,

Nate Bargatze on it also, the three of us, and in between the sets, I was boogieing over to Zany's and doing sets and then Ubering back, you know? And I remember I was in the dressing room and you go, how was Zany's and doing sets and then Ubering back, you know? And I remember I was in the dressing room and you go, how was Zany's? I go, oh man, it was great. And you didn't say anything for about a minute. You go, man, I remember I thought I was done.

You know, I did Zany's, there was no tickets sold. It was all Bachelorette parties. I was going, blowing up on them and I go, this is it. And then here we were, like three years later, you're selling out that Nashville at the Ryman or whatever we're at, at the Comedy Festival. But to see that in your eyes, cause you had gone back in it.

And then I always use you as an inspiration because you grinded for years like nothing. Oh Bill yeah you know it's like yeah clubs you were doing clubs people don't even realize five night five shows you know. No more than that no it was one Tuesday Wednesday Thursday two Friday three Saturday one Sunday. And you even told me the story that was like on the Louis CK TV show where Louis gets replaced by Jim Florentine as the headliner. We're going by Vegas and you go, ah, that's where I got replaced. Oh yeah. I was headlined.

At the Tropicana. Yeah. Tropicana just closed. They're about to implode it. Yeah. But you know, to hear those. I was headlining and then I got bumped. I remember there was a guy, Frank Del Piso was the host and I can't remember, there was a guy in the middle

who's, they're both seasoned guys and I was like this kid, you know, I forget why they gave me the gig, but I wasn't ready for it and I didn't know how to handle it. It was an old crowd, cause that casino, I can say it now because they're remodeling it, like that thing was a has-been when I was there in the 90s.

Cruiseship, yeah. And so I was going there and it was like literally the Paul Lind crowd. Yeah. You know, they were waiting for Ruth Buzzi and like that generation, like those were their comics. So I was coming out and you know, I was trying to be the New York edgy comic.

And people came out to Vegas to have a good time, drink their little pina colada and go play some slots. And I came out there, what the fuck is with this? I remember, let's say the gig started on Tuesday, Thursday morning. I remember my girlfriend at the time was flying out to see me headline my first big weekend. She goes, hey Bill, it's so and so. I go, hey, what's going on?

She goes, yeah, so how do you think the shows have been going so far? It's almost like she tried to make me fire myself. Once she said that, I knew what was gonna happen. So they switched it or whatever, and I was cool about it. I mean, I didn't go down and have like some, I felt bad that they were still paying me to headline,

but it was just like, they were right. I mean, I wasn't doing the job, so, you know, and that's something that you kinda need to have. You gotta, you can't be delusional. You can't be like fucking sitting there saying I'm doing the job. You gotta know when you're not doing the job. Absolutely, absolutely.

But those kind of stories as me touring with you really, really sunk in and I took it all in. And I think because I was older, I wasn't partying and I wasn't playing video games or getting high and shit. I was just like, I wasn't partying, and I wasn't playing video games or getting high and shit. I was just like, I wanna learn comedy. And as you were accelerating, you know, from when I first started Open to where you are now,

just to learn that shit, it was just amazing to be there, you know? Well, I came up in a time where, like, you know, you had to learn how to do it. Like, there weren't all of these options that you have now, which I think are great, but, like, you kind of have to be careful how you use them. Because when I was coming up, there was always, like,

you know, you'd be looking at, like, who was getting a deal. Because back then, it was who got a deal at, like, Montreal or whatever. TV hold deals. Yeah, so you'd look at like what do they talk about, how are they dressed, and you know, and you're in your 20s, so you start trying to like, okay, I guess I gotta talk about my family

and I gotta wear this kind of shirt. So that was always going on. But I feel lucky that I didn't have like the whole social media thing didn't happen until late in my career because that whole thing now where you can sort of look and be like, okay, now crowd work, clip this and put it in, and I'll do that and that.

And that's all like good stuff and self promotion and all that type of stuff, but you gotta make sure that you're not like, you know, just sort of, I don't know what the word is. It's like, it's a very delicate thing. It's this unbelievable power that artists have that they can get directly to their fan base, but it's also like, you can be putting yourself out there

way too soon. Yeah, like, Tal told me that, you know? Yeah, and that shit just stays on the internet. When I sit there and like, I am so fucking relieved. Yeah, yeah, and then the early shit. All my early shit is on VHS tape. Oh my God, I don't want that crap out there. It's terrible.

I talked to Tell at the cellar. You know, he was there at the stairway. And then somebody was like, when are you gonna put a special out, Dean? And I was like, you know, I put a record out in 1999, a music record, and I recently listened to this record because I wanna put one of my songs on the outro

of the special, the credits. And I listened to this record while I was hiking, and I'm not like tooting my horn, it was, I love this record so fucking much. I didn't really care what happened. I listened to it a couple of weeks ago and I couldn't believe I was like, I was immediately brought back into time of how hard I worked. I learned how to play guitar on learn guitar and VCR.

I had the Costco TV VCR and I put it in, I got a rehearsal room and eight hours a day learned guitar, and I wrote this record, and then I got a record deal, and it was just like, these songs are, to me, I was like, this is incredible, and I wrote these lyrics, and that's how I was looking at a special, and I remember Attell said, yeah man, I didn't put out nothing for 15 years,

skanks for the memories. He goes, because that shit's out there forever. And I was like, yeah man, I wanna have no cringe-worthy moments. Like when I shoot my special, this is what it is, this is, I like this stuff, I've been doing it for a few years, here it is. It's the best, I think, and of course in comedy you're gonna be, it's different because you

look back like, oh I was talking about fucking the election or whatever at that time, but that's what was going on. With music it's like, wow, I got dirted by this girl, oh, that's timeless. A breakup song is timeless, you know? Tell me about this guy who comes into the Harley dealership. I want to make sure that people get that. Okay, so I'm selling Harleys. You get out of the music business, you're selling Harleys.

I get out of the music business, I go, what do I love? I love Harleys, I need healthcare. And, yeah. I love your first question is, what do I love? Yeah, I love Harle's and I need healthcare. So my buddies runnin' the Van Nuys Harley. It was a small old school dealer. They don't have these anymore

because Harley came in and they were like, you gotta be 18 million square feet. You gotta be a super store and all that. But back in the day, Harley was sold to AMF, the bowling balls and fucking snowmobiles and shit. Harley made that shit. And they opened these kind of old school mom and pop Harley dealers.

And Van Nuys was one of the last. It was on Van Nuys Boulevard. And I will tell you this right now, you met- Sealing the floor windows in the front. Yep, and you sort of looked like a kind of a car dealership you go by and really old and never been painted as faded the owner was really wild and And then Chris backs you who you met and my other buddy girl We were we worked there and it was some of the funniest fucking shit I've ever experienced in my life. And I work with the funniest dudes on the planet.

This shit, when you're working with dudes, this guy Doug McGuire was our head boss. He was the wildest dude I've ever met. You know, you come in and he'd be like, oh, Delray, yeah! He'd be out of his mind, right, drinking a beer in the morning, and customers would come in and it would just be insane, man. I remember one time this guy came in and he brought in a girl, a woman with him,

and this guy was hardcore gangster, dude, hardcore. And I made the classic salesman mistake He's all yeah, this is this is Gina and I go oh, yeah, we met before right oh Whoa immediate showroom like I've never been who the fuck did you bring here cuz he you just saying that You know what I mean like as a salesman She thought that she brought another woman down. Oh, you would like I mean? Like as a salesman, like nice shoes. Oh no, so she thought that she was in there with another guy. That he brought another woman down? You were like, hey man, that's just some bullshit I say. That's what I was saying man, and he's like, I'm gonna kill you!

Fuck, I mean for real dude. It was- Was you selling the bike still or no? They got out of there and I didn't work for like a week. I was like, I'm not going down there man. Fuck, it was gnarly. But anyway, this guy comes in one day I love that's just in his side. All right, so this guy comes down

He comes down Harley this particular year has this bike that looks like evil Knievel's. It's awesome It's red white and blue. It's a Dyna and the guy comes down and he goes yeah, man I want to get a bike and I go okay cool. He's down and he goes, yeah man, I wanna get a bike. And I go, okay cool. He's looking around and he goes, I want that one, the evil Knievel one. I go, yeah, no problem. He goes, I'll be back in an hour with the check. He comes back, he gets it.

It happens to be about two in the afternoon. We all would hang out in the parking lot. Couple guys smoke cigarettes, sit out there. A food truck would always be there. The guy comes in, he gets on the bike, and you always go over the bike with him. You're like, blinker here would always be there. The guy comes in, he gets on the bike, and you always go over the bike with him. You're like, blinker here, blinker there, starter here, one down, five up, you know, you're just going through the stuff. Don't go fast, the tires are new. So he gets on the bike, he starts it, he gets the helmet on, we're

all standing there, and I go, all alright, thanks a lot. I knew something was wrong when I shook his hand because it was wet, you know? I go, oh, this guy's nervous. Oh no. For sure. Wet hand. And so he turns, he starts it, I go, alright, take it easy. And he starts revving it like you do a dirt bike. When you see dirt bikes racing, they're like, and then the gate goes down. So he starts revving it. And before I go, no, I go, no, he lets the clutch out wide open! And I've never seen this in my life. The Harley leaves the ground. He flies off.

It leaves the ground like a fucking bucking bronco. I've never seen a Harley leave the ground. It goes off the ground. It hits and starts coming at us. Like a ghost ride. Ghost riding. And the two guys are like, there's this one guy, he worked in parts, he was smoking a cigarette. He dives out of the way, it plows over four bikes,

smashes into the bench. Oh God. He immediately has an insurance claim. Is he on his back? He's laying there. And I never, never forgot what he said. Oh my god. He goes. Oh no. Oh no Oh, no That's what he's saying laying on his back and all of us ran inside Laughing like oh my god We knew he wasn't hurt and you didn't give a fuck about the other bikes Oh, no, because now he's got an insurance claim on five bikes.

His and the four he ran over. Just fucking plowed them all. And we were like, dude... I almost said oh no. Dude, we were laughing so... He said oh no for every bike he hit. Exactly, that's what he did. He did, he's like, oh no.

That's like that Will Forte character. Oh no, remember he did that thing? Oh my God. So then he fucking gets up, his girlfriend drives him home, and like a month later. Wait, where is his girlfriend? She drove down to get him? Yeah, she drove him to drop him off to get the bike,

you know, like a drop off. And she's standing there, and we're like, oh wow. And we're giving him the old, don't worry dude, it's okay. But inside we're like, what the fuck? All right, so then does he walk back through the store? He just gets in the car and he leaves. And we move the bike. He didn't look at any of you guys.

Nope, we moved the bike to service. The tank is destroyed, the taillights are are broke the shifters bent and we're I would think the frame would be bent if it leapt off the ground I got lucky because it went like this and then it bounced and then it started going But for weeks all of us would come into work. Oh, no Fast forward a month later, this woman comes down and she's all, hey, I'm here to pick up Steve's bike. And we're like, what?

Where's Steve? Oh yeah, yeah, he had to work or some bullshit and she rode it out of there. No way. Yeah, dude. She rode it out of there. Oh my God, dude. That is the most emasculating story.

Like, the second time you told me that story, I get embarrassed. Oh my God. For some reason, when I hear that story, I'm living that guy's, I'm not the guy on the bench laughing at him, or you going, no, I'm him on the bike. I was there, you know, right up until,

I started comedy and I was still working there. I had the greatest fucking bosses. I get goosebumps right now because these guys I worked with, they were the greatest. My boss went to a show at the comedy store and he goes, look man, you are fucking funny as shit. You're gonna get somewhere. I'm gonna lay you off. I don't want to, you're my best salesman,

but I want you to go for it, you know? And I gotta lay a guy off, cause we're slow right now. Get unemployment. Good set, you're fired. Yeah, I know, but he was like, get unemployment, fucking do comedy. Oh, you got unemployment. Yeah, yeah, cause he had to lay somebody off.

And he goes, it's going to kill me, because I was the best salesman they'd ever had. I was doing at one point. What made you such a good salesman? You know what it was? It's like comedy. I love comedy so much that I love motorcycles. I could just get the enthusiasm comes off of like dude you're

gonna love this fucking bike man because I absolutely love the bikes like when you rode a couple weeks ago I was like you don't understand I kept telling you what it's like to be on one of these badass bikes like I've rode to Sturgis many times and when you're just out riding these bikes it's just like I've rode to Sturgis many times and when you're just out riding these bikes it's just like I don't give a fuck. Sturgis is the most intimidating thing not to ride out there it's like once I get there and there's all these outlaw fucking guys I just like what. No but it's all different man they got families they got outlaws they got the wannabes Sam

Crow dudes they got the you know. I feel like it's going to prison you know, I'm a member of the wannabes. You're over here in the corner. No, but it's not like that, man. It's really, it's one of the coolest things I've ever done, but I think what's cooler than- How many day ride is Sturgis is in one of the Dakotas? Yeah, South Dakota.

South Dakota. I ride it, you can do it in, I've seen Lunatics do it in one day. I do it in three days, cause I like the ride out there. People are like, gotta get there, gotta get there, and then they get there and they stand around. My buddy once said,

how many black t-shirt stands do you need to see? You know, because it's just like, black t-shirt, black t-shirt. But I love the ride out, because I take the old Billy Backroads, I go way off the fuckin' path. Billy Backroads, that's me in LA. Billy Backroads.

I just fuckin', I don't care if it takes longer. I just, I can't sit in this fuckin' traffic anymore. But that's it, man, I just loved motorcycles, you know? And then when I did comedy, I was like, oh fuck these motorcycles, I love comedy, you know? Yeah, and then you rode did comedy, I was like, oh, fuck these motorcycles. I love comedy, you know? Yeah, and then you rode them forever until you got fucking run over.

Like, show people your tattoo. This is like, he has it like rubbed off. That's from when he got run over. Somebody stole an Escalade that was, the guy was filling it up with gas and some chick jumped in it. Stole it. And you were on the 110.

Yep. And you were literally thinking, wow, man, what a great day. It was Labor Day weekend, Monday, no one on the road today, this is great. And I was going over to Marin's for a barbecue and I got to that one, there's three tunnels on the 110. As soon as I got to the middle tunnel,

I heard this, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, like an episode of Chips when they had floored. I go, as soon as I said, what the fuck is that, my mirror was all black, and it was an escalator just hit me doing 70 miles an hour. I flew down the fucking freeway. Dude, I gotta tell you. Oh my God.

I went over to your apartment. Yeah, you came over. He goes over. He'll save me. He wears a fucking medium t-shirt. And he goes, he's like, bro, do me a favor. When the adrenaline wore up, you go, bring me like four or five like quadruple XL, like my 600 pound life t-shirt so they wouldn't be sticking to it.

Dude, when you fucking lifted your, this shit, it... I can't even... It looked like a hamburger. It was hamburger. It was fucking salmon. I did a set. It was the reddest shit. It looked like organic... This is from the ocean, you know, the salmon does that farm-raising...

It looks like that, see? Yeah, it looked like a fucking... Like a giant piece of salmon. I just... I was like, oh my God. Oh man. I was in that sad little apartment that guest house and it was just in there and And I had to have the big shirts because it was oozy now Oh, yeah, and I did a set that night broke ribs. I didn't want to cancel you broke your ribs Yeah, I broke ribs here. I had the smashed ankle remember

Is there anything worse than when you have broken ribs and you feel a sneeze coming that oh? How about like just don't make me laugh or anything and and sneezing? But you know it's crazy was getting out of bed with the broke ribs You don't realize you use your upper torso, and then when you need to use it Dude, I would slide out of my bed onto the floor and then I'd grab the bed post and then pull myself up to get out of bed. Oh yeah. And there's nothing they could do.

I never had broken ribs. I had one time I did one of those football shows. Oh yeah. And one of the former players was trying to show me something, because I was sticking up for the defensive player and there was a quarterback. He goes, no man, he reached and he grabbed him. And you know, the fucking guy grabbed me

and he went to pick me up. Yeah. And rather than putting the pressure here, so it was on my back, he did it on the side. And I just heard like, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop on the side. I was like, oh fuck. And then I said to him, he goes, you all right? And I said, yeah, I think that was my back, he did it on the side, and I just heard like pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, on the side, I was like, oh fuck. And then I said to him, he goes, you all right?

And I said, yeah, I think that was my back. I was just, I'm trying to make him feel better. He goes, no, I think it was your ribs. And I was like, what the fuck, right? And I still don't know what happened. Wow. It was like a dislocation or something. And one of the hardest I've ever made comedians laugh

was a few days later, I pulled in in the store, my old truck, and I was going to get out of it. And I forget who was there, I pulled in in the store my old truck yeah and I was going to get out of it and I forget who was there I had him on the ground laughing because I was just going like I was getting out I was just I suddenly that lady that stepped on the grapes and fell I was just going I was going oh oh oh oh oh oh oh I couldn't stop doing it and I was and I was embarrassed I was trying to stop doing it but I couldn't and it was just and it took like fucking like the better part of a minute to get out of the truck Oh

My god finally end up going I had you know my I had a Jedi masseuse back then before she passed away she fucking worked on it and And after she worked on it It was about like 24 hours, and then it was fine cuz I don't I still don't know what he did like what? What the popping sound would be yeah, was just sort of, he moved them around and aggravated, and they weren't even broken. So I can't even imagine, but I do know during those days

when I was waiting to go see her, Diana Lyndon, the great Diana Lyndon, rest in peace, she was gonna work on me, and I just remember a few times, I just remember feeling a sneeze coming. Oh, the worst. And I was like, oh no. Oh my god, the worst.

And then you're trying to hold it in and he just like... He breaks it. And I went like, ahhh! And I just went, I literally went like, ahhhhhh! For like two minutes. I was going, ohhh. And I saw my wife like trying not to laugh. Oh yeah.

Because it's fucking hilarious I actually ended up looking up. I Want to say there's there's YouTube videos of that of people with cracked ribs Seizing where the thing is laughing because it's it's fucking you see the look You can't believe how many times you sneeze once you had broke ribs Like I don't sneeze ever. Then you get the broke ribs, you're like, oh god, I got a sneeze coming on. You know what I'm saying? Like, what's the like?

Does this work? No, what I would do is I would just hold my breath like, you know, like just try not to sneeze and then... Oh, dude. Oh, it's fucking brutal. And then, a year later later when I was all better. Oh, wait a minute. So you're laying in the road on the 110, thinking you're dying, and then who comes up to you?

That's the fucking craziest Dean story of all time. He's laying in the highway. I'm laying on the highway, and I'm laying there, and all of a sudden I hear, are you OK, Dean? And I look up, and it's one of my best friends, Kevin Christie, who's a great comedian and artist. And the first thing I think is, wow, you see your friends when you're dead.

100%, there's no way I'm alive. To see this fucking guy in the middle of Los Angeles, millions of roads. So when you took your helmet off, then he was like, oh shit, Dane. He walked up, he knew it was me, cause he saw the bike. It was a really,

Was it that tan one that you had? No, it was the turquoise and cream Harley FXR. That was the one? Yeah, and I'd only had it two weeks. It was my favorite, I got it from a dude. I mean, I had it for like a year, but I had redone the whole thing, and it was like two weeks in. and it was something limited about it. Oh, there's only like maybe

10-made it was a fx. I just did that on purpose everything yeah buys is limited I remember you had you had that fucking you had that that blue car. Yeah. Yeah the Subaru WRX the Smurf Yeah, the Smurf with like, it was a five speed, twin turbo or something. Crazy fast. You had it for like a week. Well, you know what happens is, I said it before, everything in my house is a parachute.

So I buy something, I go, Korea's going pretty good right now. And then two months from now, I go, fuck, I got no dates, sell this. And I just get rid of shit, man. It's like, I gotta get rid of this. It's crazy. The fucking turnover.

The turnover. I mean, you could have your own eBay, the amount of shit that you have sold. And I'll be like, anytime, I'll be like, hey, you still got that whatever? You're like, nah, sold it. Sold it. I didn't have any dates.

I needed to fucking eat, so I sold it. It's so true. But like, you could do a, you could teach a class on how to survive the ups and downs of this business. You are really like, what I love about the way you hustle is you don't hurt anybody. You're not out there selling drugs.

You're not taking advantage of people or anything. You just buy, you have a good eye for really quality shit. When you got money, you own it. And then when you need money, you're not taking advantage of people or anything, you just buy, you have a good eye for really quality shit. When you got money, you own it, and then when you need money, you sell it, and the shit sells like that. Immediately, because I only buy something that's super rare, and I only like the best, and I grew up crazy poor, so I always wanted, like I got a paper route,

worked two years to get the best BMX bike. That's what I learned from you, like I got a paper route, worked two years to get the best BMX bike. That's what I learned from you. Like I learned, if you go out and buy a car, you gotta be, whatever car you're buying, you gotta be able to buy, you gotta be able to afford to buy the one with the best engine with all the options or buy a lesser car loaded.

And those are the cars that like, you know, over time will hold their value. Like, you know, those fucking, I guess like, you know, back in the day, if you bought like the Chick Camaro with like the V6. Oh yeah, the Bertilena. Bertilena. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bertilena, Mike Bertilena.

Berlinetta. Yeah, Berlinetta. Bertilena. Yeah. Like, what someone's gonna like about that is, is they don't give a shit if it's numbers matching and they're gonna make a sleeper. Yeah, they pull the engine out or whatever. Well anyway, fastest fucking hour of my life. This is all we do.

We talk about cars, motorcycles and all this shit. First of all, I gotta thank you for all the years of your friendship and being on the road. And out of all the cool shit that I've done because I've known you, like jamming and doing the ACDC stuff and playing with all these rock stars that I grew up watching, riding those Harleys up in Santa Marina a few weeks ago

was the fucking thrill of, I swear to God, dude, I'll be on my deathbed someday and out of all the great memories I have, that is gonna be tearing through that fucking valley, man. It was just like, it's just, no feeling like that in the fucking world. The greatest thing about that though, is I was able to give you some of your dreams,

like playing with, you know, Nikki Sixx and Scott Ian and those guys you had. God, I fucked the song up too. But I'm saying- Scott Ian saved my ass on that. And then the Harley stuff. I love being able to do that for you because what you have done for me and my career and just friendship and everything is,

I mean, dude, Hollywood Bowl, Red Rocks, The Garden, the LA Forum, Oakland Arena. And now we're playing a cave in Tennessee. Now we're doing a cave. These are all venues I didn't make it to in music and my dreams have come true. Well I think this special's gonna be huge for you and I think this will be the vehicle

because there's a lot of people, I think, that are watching this podcast that are like you, that like quality shit, you know, identify with the, I like quality shit, but I don't have the fucking money to get it. Which is how we all grew up that way. Like, I remember, like, my dream when I was a kid was, I didn't know what I was gonna do for a job,

but my dream was to have season tickets to the Patriots, Red Sox, Bruins, and Celtics, and anytime there was a game, I could go. And I was gonna go with all my buddies from high school that we drink beer and all that shit, and I'm doing the dumb kid shit. And what's funny, I'm still friends with those guys. And what's funny, I'm still friends with those guys. That's the best.

I'm still friends with those guys. And I went back recently and I did this thing for the Patriots and I brought out the guys I had season tickets with like fucking 35 years earlier. I go, can you, would you ever think in a million years that this franchise would end up, it was the Tom Brady retirement thing that I got to go to, it was fucking amazing.

So. That was killer. So anyways, what's the name of the venue? The Cavern, right? The caverns.com. I think we have maybe about 300 tickets left. It's a destination venue. There's great hotels out there. They also have camping, which is amazing, or those irks or whatever they're called. camping which is amazing or those irks or whatever they're called your irks your irks cabins you can stay at the fucking place if you want and Tennessee is one of the most beautiful states oh my god there is all these jerk-offs are moving to fucking Nashville like the whole state is good I don't have anybody else move there because I feel bad for the people that live out there but like

Eastern Tennessee out in Knoxville, the Appalachian Mountains going into the Carolinas is- And the audiences there are fantastic. We've done the Ryman a few times. There's a place, I gotta book a gig, just so I, because I miss it every year. There's an F100, Ford F100 get together. Yeah.

Somewhere in Tennessee, I forget where it is. I want to say it's closer to Memphis than it is Nashville. And every year, I want to say it's in Tennessee, I forget where it is. I wanna say it's closer to Memphis than it is Nashville. And every year, I wanna say it's in May. And there has to be a venue nearby. And- I got one more venue for us, cause it's cool cause you're like, all right. The Cow Palace.

Well, we gotta do the Cow Palace and we gotta do that. But we have to do, cause Bill's like, we gotta do some cool venues this year, like some outside the box shit. We need to do the Gorge in Seattle. It's the last one of those organic red rocks, the caverns, the Gorge, it's on the river. I've got to get my new hour together because I just did this special, but I will say, what about that, what's that place we played in Berkeley? Oh, unbelievable, the Greek is where we're, you were, like you said,

that's where we're at for now. We did the Cal Pass and the Greek. Oh, the Greek was unreal. I gotta go up there and go to a game, man. Their football stadium was right there. That was right up, I did Flushing in Queens where they had the original US Open. That was another one.

Oh, that's cool. Yeah, it was fucking unbelievable. Flushing Meadows? Oh, man. It was fucking unbelievable. Like those things, because they're so old, they're made out of like stone. It feels like, you know, you're looking at the crowd, they're all dressed in like modern clothes,

so you know it's 2024, but it could be like, you know, I don't know, I'm not good with history. It just feels like it's in Roman times or something. So anyway, I could babble on and on forever. The Great Dine Del Rey September 8th, gonna be at the Caverns just outside of Nashville. I will be there also doing all the new shit that I got going on. Love you brother. So excited for you, man. That's it. That's the podcast. Thank you guys. Go out there. Have yourselves a great weekend and we'll talk to you soon. And once outside the undertow Just you and me and nothing more

If not for love I would be drowning I've seen it work both ways But I am up, riding high amongst the waves I can feel like I have a soul that has been saved Hey, what's going on? I want them to love Finals. Finished his tour. Finished his tour strong. I did my last two nights, one Cologne, Germany, and then the other Antwerp, Antwerpen, Belgium. Got a frog in my throat here. Just amazing shows. And I got to tell you something, I want to special thank you to the people who came out in Germany. I fucking did my Hitler shit,

and I thought that they were gonna pull back. They loved it, and I don't mean loved it like, yeah, bring the guy back. They had a great sense of humor about it. And, oh yeah, it was great too. And then all my other shit too was working well. It was just a great show. And I learned a lot about the city. Oh, no you didn't, Bill. my other shit too was working well. It was just a great show.

I learned a lot about the city. Oh, no you didn't, Bill. You were there for fucking like 17 hours. I went on their Wikipedia page, Cologne, Germany, and I found out that it was one of the most bombed cities of World War II. So it was this weird thing where it was this really old city but everything was brand new because the Allies fucking blew everything up.

Except for this one church, you know, which I don't understand how it survived. It's got the really tall fucking spires, you know? It was just sitting there. It had like, must have had like Mayweather fucking head movement. I don't know how it avoided it. I also don't get how Cologne, Germany somehow got bombed more than Hiroshima or Nagasaki. I mean, they got fucking, is it because it was just one bomb? That really redefined the old right there, Fred,

when you drop a fucking atom bomb on somebody. That is probably the ultimate right there, Fred, where Cologne, Germany was more just like, do you remember that fight, what the fuck George St. Pierre had, where he just kept punching that other guy right in his fucking eye? We jab, jab, jab, and he kept hitting him

in the exact same fucking place. That's what we did to C eye, jab, jab, jab, and he kept hitting him in the exact same fucking place. That's what we did to Cologne, Germany, where Japan, that was more like an Anderson Silver, you know, when you're standing there, and you think he's gonna throw a jab, and then he somehow gives you an uppercut with his foot. Is it, Bill, is that what, at the atomic bomb is like? I don't know. I don't fucking know.

Anyways, so the tour finished up strong and I don't hear a lot of people ever saying that they go to Belgium. You know, at least in the States. Jesus Christ, it was fucking incredible. The number one thing that is so fucking cool about Belgium is their beer glasses are the shit. Every fucking beer, it's like it has its own goddamn chalice that it puts it in. And it just, I don't know, just psychologically it all tastes better. I bought some chocolates there from my lovely wife and now I'm gonna be on vacation here. All right, but fucking Oh Billy fat again Is hitting the gym. I did did 45 minutes on the The elliptical yesterday and then went right into town and got myself a large pizza that I ate by myself.

And he was laughing at me. Then I had a Coca-Cola with that. What else did I have? What else did I have? And I had a fucking gelato. Oh, and I had the calamari. How they said it, right? I'm like, can I get the color calamari how they said right? I'm like can I get some fried calamari and the guy goes calamari

I'm like yeah the way you say it the way you say it sounds great the way I say it Just fucking terrible so That's what I had for lunch, so I should have done four hours and 45 minutes on the fucking elliptical. My fucking belly is so goddamn round right now, it's ridiculous. You know what's hilarious? The Italian fellow there that picked me up at the airport, and by picked me up, I just

mean he just had a great opening line and I couldn't resist. The taxi guy, he fucking said the funniest shit was saying how hard he was working during the summer and he goes, that's why my body, he goes, it's white like the mozzarella. And I was going, I fucking died laughing because I have been called, my legs, I have been called every, hey fucking Casper, fucking yardsticks, you know, my legs, I have been called every, hey, fucking Casper, fucking Yardsticks, you know,

and golf, chalk legs, all this shit. No one ever said your legs are white like the mozzarella. You know what's funny about mozzarella is it's sweaty too. It's all fucking wet and white. It's only redeeming qualities. It tastes so good, but if it just didn't taste good, you'd just be like, that's just a ball of white slime. And yeah, when I'm on the elliptical, I'm like a big red fucking ball of mozzarella.

I said you had legs dipped in flour. Come here. What did you say? Remember when I said you had legs dipped in flour? Yes, I remember all of those. I remember all of them vividly. What are you doing? Are you going to be on the podcast? You're just going to lay there giggling in the background. Can I do both? No, you know what it was, Nia? You had that little fucking donut.

Yeah. That's what puts you down down the mat. I fucking hate donuts. How do you hate? I like I like calamari I like the margarita pizza The colors of the Italian flag need you think that was it it was so little it was like it wasn't even a real size donut It wasn't even the size of a munchkin from Duncan Yeah, it was it was smaller than the exact size of that. No eat one of those. It was smaller than a munchkin This is why I don't like donuts. Okay, most of them stink like that one. That one was not good All right. All right. Okay Hey fair enough

All right, but you eat one of those and your body just goes what the fuck. It's the ultimate what the fuck food. It's sifting through it, where's the nourishment? It's nothing. I'm eating pizza and calamari. Even that shit makes you, the calamari, that was fucking light.

Even though it was bad for you and all that shit. But I fucking don't, at least there's some sort of protein in there, somewhere in there there's a fucking light. Yes, it was. Even though it was bad for you and all that shit. But a fucking donut, at least there's some sort of protein in there. Somewhere in there, there's a fucking squid. Is that what it is? Yeah, it's squid. Squid, yeah. Right, squid. Alright, so once you get past the batter and all that shit in there,

there is something that has some sort of nutrition. Eat a fucking donut. It's just like... No, it's all sugar. And dough. Yeah. Yeah, I eat one of those and I feel like I... I was up early though too.

I was up earlier than you, so I feel like... Oh, I know. I realize that. This whole fucking vacation. I finally get to sleep. I haven't slept in like 10 days. Because I was going from country to country and then I was also drinking like fucking Nick Nolte in 48 hours.

Did he drink or did he just sound like a drunk? So I wasn't getting a lot of sleep. So now I'm catching up on all that. Do you know you said Nick Nolte and I thought Gary Busey? They're interchangeable. Right. But one of them's crazy and the other one isn't. Right? One of them's like normal. Yeah, but they're like, they look, they really lookable. Right. But one of them's crazy and the other one isn't, right?

One of them's like normal. Yeah, but they're like, they look, they really look like each other. Yeah, they got a similar... Which is the same thing, like the Spider-Man guy and the Hobbit dude look the same to me. Oh, Tobey Maguire and Elijah Wood. Yeah. They're both like petite men, petite brown-haired, blue-eyed boys. That make fantasy movies.

Right. Yeah. To me, they're the same. They're the... Nick Nolte and what's his face? Gary Busey. Elijah Wood and Tobey Maguire. All right. Wait, what was the movie we were talking about yesterday?

It was one of a hashtag BB's titles Oh, right How I met your computer, oh that sitcom yeah when I was in Germany that sitcom. Yeah, when I was in Germany, the story about the three nerds and the chick there. Yeah, you called it How I Met Your Computer. Yeah, but I knew that was wrong. I just kept thinking Third Rock from the Sun. Right. I don't know why.

No. What's the name? There's no number in that show. It's Big Bang Theory. Yeah, but you kept calling it... No. What's the name? There's no number on that show. It's Big Bang Theory. Yeah. But you kept calling. Oh, I meant your computer. This smart. It's all of those, because I don't watch any of those sitcoms just because I'm out of the

loop with that stuff. But I like that show and I watch it. But I just sent you a video of it because I was in Germany and the tallest one of the kids there on Big Bang Theory, just watching him in a German accent. Oh, Jim Parsons. He's the one that wins all the Emmys. So you like Big Bang Theory? I've never seen a single episode and it's like the biggest show.

It's a Big bang, Nady. It's a big bang. I've not seen this single episode. Well, I don't know. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed watching it in German. So anyways, so Nia's been falling asleep here at like 9 o'clock, 10 o'clock at night because you're still jet-lagged. And I know, I, you know, I stay up late. You know. What did you do last night, after I fell asleep? I sat outside on the chair. Uh-huh.

And I watched a bunch of Billy Squire videos. I don't know how I got into that, but I was sipping a little Johnny Walker black over there. Over there. And I was thinking, I don't know, I was just watching all these drum videos. Was going down that little fucking rabbit hole there. And I was like, remember that guy that used to play

for Billy Squire that kind of had a Bonham-esque feel. And I couldn't remember his name. And then I looked up and said, oh yeah, Bobby Chuwenaar. And he was from Brockton, Mass. And he was, you know, he just was a fucking monster player. And I remember, you know, he died really young. He was only like 43, I think he had like a heart attack. So I just went to go put that, you know,

I wanted to listen to him play. And then I just was watching this Billy Squire shit like live in Detroit. That guy was such a fucking rock star. It's ridiculous. Like I don't understand. And everybody always talks, he made this one video and everybody always talks about

he did it in his fucking career. It was like that thing came out in the fucking 80s. It was so in the 80s, like that nobody noticed. Most of the videos, most of the videos from that time did not stand the test of time. You know what I mean? But I hate when people try to go like,

oh, like in the moment when that video came out, everybody said to hell with Billy Squire. That's not what happened. He just didn't have any more hits after that. But even like, I actually read a quote. Martha Quinn was going, I remember that video came out, I don't remember an adverse reaction to it. She goes, I thought it was kind of cute.

Which is not what you want to say. But basically now you look at, he's got like this pastel fucking shirt on and he's just sort of stomping around fucking wrecking this apartment. It's really bad. If that's the case though, wouldn't most rock videos in the 80s be ripped to shreds? Oh my God, yeah. Maybe they are, I don't know. They're horrible.

Wait. Everybody, the synchronized fucking dancing, licking your bass, fucking doing, everybody doing that thing like they were fucking eating pussy, doing that. And the thing. Steve Vibe with his fucking double neck guitar and he's sitting there acting like he's fucking the guitar

when he's playing. What's your favorite rock video from the 80s? I have one. It's Money for Nothing. The animation, no no. Oh yeah yeah yeah. That one, no no, but that's number two. The first one is take on me

By aha, but they were in a rock band were they more pop were they considered pop yeah, but yeah In any in any Robert Palmer video with the like the half dozen chicks with the same body type and the black slick black hair the red lips and the big titties I gotta be honest you, that video, those chicks did nothing for me. Everyone was like, oh my god, those chicks are so fucking hot, dude. There's like six of them. They're just standing there.

They were all like super models. And they like, I thought. Yeah, that's why none of them could play an instrument, fucking good looking freaks. That was really funny, how they all just faked playing instruments. Yeah, and they had that fucking look on their face like they hadn't got enough free drinks that night.

I told you, I have major fucking issues with women of that ilk. I just fucking just, I respect them. You're gorgeous, you know what I mean? But just like they're fucking the most boring people ever. The worst fucking interviews ever. You get a fucking model just sitting there. They fucking stink. They just look good. It's just, just shut up.

We just want to look at you. You're like a fucking lamp that somebody wants to fuck. But other than that, you're useless. You're a fucking useless person. So, I like, like now I like the fucking who is I always like the who is I like the you like the slutty party girls. Yeah, those chicks. Those are the good looking girls you like. Yeah, they look like they were fun. Like if you showed up with like a 12 a fucking Budweiser's they'd fucking drink some with

you and someone was going gonna get a blow job. You watch the fucking Robert Palmer video, it's like nobody's getting their dick sucked here. These fucking chicks are so up their own asses, they're just, they probably all hated each other. They're too classy for that. They don't wanna go to a dive bar with you. Yeah, they're too classy for that

until Uncle Terry takes their pictures and all of a sudden they're in a 3D look at his salt and pepper fucking pubes coming at him. That fucking creep. Dude, anytime you're of a certain age and you start telling younger women to call you Uncle so-and-so and you're not fucking related to them. He's disgusting. That's a major... You know the reason why I know about him is because you're into the

fashion world. He's so disgusting Yeah, anytime he takes G Terry's Played out. I know I love whole styles played out. What's your theme for this one? All right, it's like you're drugged up but you really want to fuck this old guy And we saw like the books that he published before he started getting all this fame

for taking a picture of Jared Leto? It's literally him with his dick in some girl's face and him literally coming on a girl. Those were his, there's whole books of him. Those were his photographs at first. And then he started taking pictures of Lady Gaga and shit. The only reason why I know who the guy is, the only reason why I know who that guy is

is because of you. Yeah. Anybody who calls themselves uncle is either a fucking pervert, or they think everything that they say is fucking amazing. Like Ted Nugent. Just another tip from your uncle Ted. I got the whole world figured out.

He lives in like a tree fort and he shoots bears with arrows. And then all of a sudden he knows how the world should work. I just don't understand. Isn't he like a big conservative gun nut? Do you need some water? What's going on over there? I'm fine. I'm just clearing my throat.

I pulled the fucking thing. Let me clear my throat. Ted Nugent, I respect anybody that knows how to fucking hunt. Anybody knows how to hunt. Everybody knows guns and shit. I think that's a really cool thing. I feel like he's, does he hunt for food? Or does he kill a bear to put it on his living room floor?

Both. I have no idea. You'd have to ask him why he hunts. But I know he knows bear to put it on his living room floor? Both. I have no idea. You'd have to ask him why he hunts, but I know he knows how to do it. I think that's a cool thing. And he's a responsible gun owner. He has a gun. He doesn't go around shooting people.

But if you go into his house, he's going to blow your fucking head off. I mean, that's... There you go. There you go. That totally makes sense to me. But just because I agree with that doesn't mean I need to listen to you and your fucking... Yeah, I'll listen to your thoughts about our foreign policy with fucking whatever you want

to do, but you can't deliver it in this fucking way. That's another tip from your Uncle Bill. Uncle Bill. I don't know. So anyways, Nia, so I was on the internet last night and I was looking up all this Billy Squire stuff. Billy Squire live in Detroit, the fucking guy's guitar playing, total front man, his interaction with the crowd.

I mean, the guy was, he just was fucking murdering it. He had this great band and I ended up fucking went down this whole fucking thing looking up Bobby Chu and the Ad and there's a book on him and stuff which of course I ordered on Amazon. It's like 20 bucks, got the hard cover. And I remember, I used to take drum lessons,

I can't remember the name of it, but I used to take it in Brockton. And um... How long have you been taking drum lessons? Well, I took them for like three or four years in the early 90s, and then I didn't take them again until last year. Oh no, wait, a little bit, when I was in New York, I used to go I didn't take him again until last year. Oh no, wait, a little bit, when I was in New York, I used to go, I had a couple teachers at,

Jesus Christ, what the fuck was it called? What the fuck is that place called? When we were dating? No. Before, right? No, what happened was, I started fucking playing and um, I don't know, I played like 3-4 years. Then I started taking some lessons

and then right around that time I started doing stand up. And then stand up was the thing like it's the thing that stopped me from being a great drummer Nia was time I didn't have the time and I didn't have the God-given gift I had to end on the big one I did not have the gift. I thought if I just kept working, working, working at it, I would somehow work my way into having the gift. Do you see yourself in your seventies doing comedy in Vegas somewhere and kind of doing

like a Don Rickles type of situation, but then maybe you get behind the drums and sort of do like a musical comedy thing. Oh, God. Oh, God. But it's charming because you're old. You know, it would be so pathetic. No, yeah, but I see. No, but it would be all the music I listen to. Welcome to the jungle.

And you're wearing like a tuxedo? No, and then I'd have all the young hotties singing going, Bill's got fun and games. And then they come over and they fucking pat my bald head. Oh, he's so adorable. Nia, I would kill myself. I would jump off the welcome to Vegas sign. I'm saying that now as a 48-year-old. Who knows? Yeah, but don't you see, like, yeah, moving into your 70s, 80s, doing like a month or

so residency, we can move to Vegas for a couple months. Nia, this is like the saddest scenario ever. Why? They would pay you a good amount of money. Why is that sad? You think you're gonna be going on tour in your 70s? You think you're gonna be on the road like you are now? No, I think I'm gonna save my fucking money

so I don't have to. The only reason I'll be on the fucking road in my 70s is if I still wanna be, but I still felt like I had something to say. But I'm not gonna be in my fuckings as if I still want to be, if I still felt like I had something to say. But I might be in my fucking 80s like, bleh! What's up with, I don't know, what's up with these computers?

I'll still be bitching about the same shit. But you're gonna, I know you, you're gonna still want to do comedy. I love making people laugh, and if I do it on a much smaller scale, I'm fine with that, but I'm not gonna make a fucking ass of myself and have some luau themed

fucking comedy show Please tell me you'll drag me off stage before I do that. The day I show up and I'm in drag and I have like the coconuts over my fake titties Caesar's Palace presents Bill Burr Cesar's Palace presents Bill Burr. Oh god, that would be a nightmare. No, we can live in a suite at Cesar's for like two months and you do your classic comedy. Telling jokes from the 2020. Well that's the thing, you can't do classic comedy.

You can't go out like, I saw Don Rickles and Tony Orlando opened up and he was playing a, you know, knock three times on the ceiling. I remember that fucking, you're like psyched. You're psyched but like no one's psyched to hear a joke again that they already heard. They just go away. I can't be like, all right, I don't know if you remember this, but there was a president a long time ago. He stuck a cigar in the car, Monica Lewinsky. They remember. And then you just start doing all that. And and then I do like a medley of styles that all influenced me.

I do the Eddie Murphy laugh, the Sam Kinnison yell, the Seinfeld, why? You know, as the band plays underneath it. You know, comedy and music have a lot of similarities. There's a rhythm, isn't there Johnny? And I'm wearing Hawaiian shirts because I'm crazy. What's he going to say next? Yeah, but you're not going to want to just rest on your laurels even in your 70s. You're going to still want to go out. So I'm just thinking about...

I'm going to rest on my ass, that's white like the mozzarella. Like the mozzarella. The red mozzarella. Um, no, I, I, I don't get the concept of retiring. Like if you retire, you're just, then you're just, I would feel useless and I would just be like, I'm gonna die in about 10 days. I would be one of those people,

if I retired I would be dead in a week. Because I'd just be like, it'm gonna die in about 10 days. I would be one of those people, if I retired I would be dead in a week. Because I'd just be like, it's over, I'm useless, why am I still here? And I would go into an unbelievable depression. And I would die. That's what I mean, but you still have to work in a capacity in which someone wants to see a 70 year old comedian.

And the place where people would want to see comedian. And the place where people would want to see and pay to see a 70 year old comedian is Las Vegas. Let's be real. Or you could have like, you know, a few nights run at a theater in New York maybe, but it's not like you're going to be going to all the comedy clubs like you're doing now, which is fine. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. All of that is really frightening. I can tell you that. I don't mean to frighten you.

Well, the end? That's the end of your fucking life. It's just the end. I'll be there with you. Don't worry. Yeah, no. I picture my 70s and 80s. I definitely am wearing slippers and I'm just putzing around the house. Yeah, God willing, you know, the house is paid for. I still have a nice car. Right?

And... You're going to be like Hef. What do you think Hef does all day? I still have a nice car. Mm-hmm. Right? Totally. And, um... You're gonna be like, Hef. What do you think Hef does all day? He probably putters around the house in his slippers. Did somebody buy that house? Somebody bought it, and then he was gonna turn, but he wanted to turn it into something. And so the deal didn't work out.

Because I think the thing is, you can buy it, but Heff has to live there until the end of his life, which makes sense. That's what's going, I don't know if any, yeah, I think they did an article on that. You gotta buy his house for $100 million, and it's a tear down. Which means he didn't keep it, how did he not keep it up?

You know what it was? He was in the fucking magazine business. He started it in the 50s, and who would have known that the internet would come along and all these kids stopped buying magazine, all this free porn and all that, and it just went down the fucking drain. That's the other thing, too, Nia.

The lucky thing that I have being a comedian is people always want to laugh. I think that that's the reason why, not only has it survived all of these new technologies, it actually thrives because, you know, what's the main shit that you watch on the internet? You want to fucking laugh or jerk off to something. That's the two big things. And comedy just, it fits, you know, Joe can be really quick.

Guy walks into a bar, he says blah blah know, joke can be really quick. Guy walks into a bar, he says blah blah blah, the guy says blah blah blah, and done. You get the fucking laugh, and these kids, with their fucking squirrel-like attention spans, it works, so, I don't know how long it'll, or how long it works at this fucking level, but I don't know. Yeah, all that shit's fucking scary to me.

So I just keep, I'm just looking for my next special. And I got, by the way, I got it worked out. You do? Yeah, I know which ones I'm doing. I know which ones I'm leaving out. Any ones that I feel are gonna even remotely be considered done before. As much as I like the aborted landing bit

that I've been doing, I'm not doing it because at the end of the day it's fucking airplane material. And that'll just be one where I'll just have that one in my back pocket as far as if I'm just be one where I'll just like, I'll just have that one in my back pocket as far as like, if I'm just somewhere one night and I'm sick of my act, I'll just bust that one out again. Although I feel like I told it in every... You can bring it back in Caesars when you're 70.

There you go. That's a timeless joke. Yeah, dying in a plane crash. That one's just a fun one to do. And it fucking murders. Everyone can relate to it and everything, but I just kept, in the back of my head, I just kept going like, you know, this is just airplane material.

And then one night I went to Flapper's, I'm not gonna say who, I saw him on stage, and I was just, and he had a joke about an aborted landing. And it, you know, mine was different enough, but it just hit the same points. Right. You know, the steward is not talking, the fucking, you know, what's going through your head

and all that, and it just was like, and I was gonna say something, hey, I kinda got something like that. But then I was just like, I was just like, you know, I'm not even gonna bother with that. I'm just not gonna do it. But on this past tour, when I went through Europe,

you know, I broke it out probably 60% of the nights. Because it kills, and I was also trying to get comfortable, I always have to get a little comfortable over here to forget that I'm not in the United States. Do you feel like protective of certain jokes? Like with that one you were saying, someone had a similar premise,

so you're kind of more willing to let it go. But are there certain jokes that you just feel like, you know you absolutely like no this is definitely going special not compromised not well not if I see somebody else doing something like I'm doing no I wouldn't do that because then I'm thinking well did they put theirs out yet or are they gonna put theirs out and I dropped the joke is what I do. Really?

Yeah. Even if maybe you came up with it for not saying that this is the case with the airplane one, but if you feel like, if you hear somebody do something about Caitlyn Jenner or something like that. Yeah, like even that one, like as much fun as I've been having with that, I don't think I'm doing that one on the special. Oh really? Why?

Yeah, because I got this other chunk of shit that I can do that's along the same lines. And also I made fun of Caitlyn when I was on Conan, so that's already out there. And then I also feel like it's just kind of, it's done. I just feel like that subject is, I just want them up there just kinda, it's done. I just feel like that subject is, I just, when I'm up there, when I'm up there, when I'm doing the bit, it's much fun as I'm having, the fun that I'm having is,

is the crowd's reaction to what I'm saying, but, you know, my heart of hearts, I don't have any passion for anymore. I don't give a shit. She's not in the news anymore. I don't give a fuck. It was just that one period when, made that federal case about where she should pee and what building.

That was just such a layup as far as this is your fucking problem. We just come back from Asia and shit and just seeing what those people are going through and then you come here and this and this fucking million-air Olympic Stars, I don't know. I know she doesn't have a show anymore. They can't to the show. It's kind of like it's done, you know Yeah, that's true Just gotta be killing To not have the show. Well, Jesus Christ, you mean if you're not You're not interesting after you do something like that. Well, Jesus Christ, if you're not interesting,

after you do something like that. Well, that's the thing. It's like he was boring as Bruce, and she's boring as Kate. Like, it's just not, there's nothing magical that happened now that he's come out as transgender. Like, there's nothing, you know, she's still a Republican, he's still living in Malibu, stillborn.

It's just not, she looks great, but other than that, I got nothing. That was the best part. I love the transgendered Republican. Yeah, I mean, it's just. And everybody getting mad. I love how they thought if he got some titties, all of a sudden he'd be looking at the world differently. Exactly, no, she's exactly the same.

She just looks different. And she's got a great stylist, and a great hairstyle, and great makeup, that's it. But it's the same person. Nobody watched Keeping Up With The Kardashians to see Bruce. Nobody cared. Come on, the guy's had enough pain. He's obviously suffering here.

I think Kailin is fine, actually. I think he's just fine. Oh yeah? She is just fine. Yeah, I think he's just fine. Oh yeah? She is just fine. Yeah I think. Do you think at night before Caitlin goes to bed she puts on the Robert Palmer video and does those dances? You know what I would actually love to see,

oh my God, oh my God, M.M. Photoshop, M.M. Photoshop, please. Will you please make, oh my God. Will you please make Bill Robert Palmer and then a whole row of Caitlyn Jenner's. Ah! My old Vegas show. In the background playing the instruments.

Ah! Alright, alright. I gotta do some advertising here. Alright. I'm trying to answer. Ah! All right, all right. I gotta do some advertising here. All right. Ah, that was the last one, thank God. Who do you think's better than you? Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Madonna, or that chick who used to go,

chee-chee-chee-chee, whatever the fuck she doing, then she played the flamenco guitar. Uh, can I rank them as opposed to saying who's best? Well isn't that what you're doing? Are you talking about in a live aspect? I've only seen two of those four examples live. Dude, the chick playing the flamenco guitar is fucking unbelievable. Charo is amazing.

Alright. We love Charo. Charo. When Madonna plays guitar, she's like wearing driving gloves, so she's not even taking it seriously so she's out. Alright. I've never seen Madonna live. I'd like to.

Now, Lady Gaga wears a meat dress while she's on a horse. It's a real horse, right? That's not what happens. And then people take their tits out. Now Beyonce Beyonce... I've never seen live. She's amazing, amazing, amazing. She's like... The only time I see her live is when she falls down, because the clip shows up on my YouTube. When she's doing that thing, she's whipping her head around. On your YouTube? My YouTube.

Whatever, you go on the homepage, and it's just like, well, you watch this slap fight, here's a frog kicking a fly in the face, and then you're like, oh, watch that, and the next thing you know, you're watching frog fly videos. And then somehow it comes,

it always ends up coming back around to when Beyonce fell down the stairs. That's how it works for me. Hmm. Beyonce, well I only saw Beyonce and Gaga in concert. I haven't seen those other two. And I think Beyonce definitely gave the better concert than Gaga.

Nia Renee Hill throwing shade, I believe is what they say. That was not throwing shade. Did you toss it? Did you toss the shade? There was no shade anywhere in that statement. Did you put the shade down on the pillow like a mint? All right, what else did I want to talk about? Oh, you know what, I'm obsessed with the car over here.

I'm in Italy, Nia. What car am I going to be obsessed by? The Ferrari? No. The Lamborghini? No, yeah, the Fiat 500 CC. Yeah, you're taking pictures of every one that you've seen. A two cylinder fucking engine,

motorcycle engine basically. And it was considered a four passenger back in the day. And they're just the fucking most adorable, I love those little cars, I love smart cars. Those are such cool, that's like when you were a little kid and you had a little fake little car that your mom had to push you around in, but she was too sleepy.

Because she was having a bunch of kids. No, the only reason why a smart, the only reason why, you're saying all the obvious things people say about a smart car, the only reason why a smart car stinks is because there's truck drivers texting. That's why it stinks, because the car's already half mushed up, but as far as just like,

just a great, you just jump in the fucking car, you can park it anywhere. Hmm, anywhere. It, I don't know, I like it. I can appreciate a Ferrari all the way down to a smart car You just I just hate people who look at a smart car and they're just like like they compare it to like a fucking you know Some sort of race car. You know what I mean? It's it's like that's not what it's trying to do Right, okay

Now whatever I like that car so I like the little Fiat 500cc and what I learned from the old ones is you have to do this thing, technique is called a double clutch and I was sitting there, I never understood that. I had to drive a truck one time on Breaking Bad when I had to pull up in the dump truck and the guy was trying to show me how to do the double clutch thing, which is weird because when you want to upshift, it's like you got to let the thing slow thing, which is weird because when you want to upshift, it's like you got to let the thing slow down. The rotations of the engine slow down. And when you downshift, you actually got to hit the gas and have it speed up,

which makes no fucking sense to me. I would think it would be the opposite. So it's fucking me up. So finally I go, dude, why don't I just fucking leave it in gear? All right, and I'll give it throttle and I'll let out the clutch and I'll just go. And you just finally said yes to that. But ever since then, like I had no idea.

But I still have to tell you, even just driving that dump truck in like first gear for like 10 feet into the shot was one of the coolest things I ever did. Yeah, that's like little kid shit. Like you're in a big giant Tonka truck Didn't you also have to like stand on train tracks On Breaking Bad or wait, are we pretending to be a train connector? Oh

No, the train. Yeah. No, we robbed the train. I had to stop the train so the the other guys Almost said mr. Pink Jesse Pinkman and Mr. White robbed it in the back. Right, right, right, that's what it is. Yeah, so the funniest part of that, the most fun of that scene other than driving it was when they were just shooting me and I had to pretend there was a train coming at me and there was no train there. And one of the conductors, one of the actors

was just laughing his ass off because he knew I had to do the scene. And that's just one of the things, there's going to be an entire crew of people watching you, not saying anything. And they go action and you have to, like in the middle of nowhere, stand on these train tracks and scream and yell and there's nobody fucking there.

There's nobody there, yeah. Yeah, there's nobody. But it was a great acting experience because it prepared me for more shit like that. You were so good on Breaking Bad. You would have been good on Breaking Bad. It was the writing. Anybody would have been great on Breaking Bad. What's that supposed to mean? I mean, like, anybody would be fucking good on it.

Yeah, but you were like, you would be great on Breaking Bad. I fucking did a two episode show on a Netflix series that's premiering next year. May I point out? I was being fucking modest. You were great on Breaking Bad. Yeah, I was, wasn't I? No, you just say thank you. Is it that hard?

You are the worst thing of a compliment to because you literally just don't know what to do. You can't just say thank you. Is it that hard? You are the worst thing of a compliment to you because you literally just don't know what to do You can't just say thank you You're always like, hey, well, what are you gonna do? Like it's just I got lucky You give every response but the simplest response is thank you and you just can't seem to wrap your mind around it I've seen it happen so many times people. Oh my god, you're amazing. You're like, hey, well, you know, I just showed up Thank you What's so hard? so many times people, oh my god, you're amazing, you're like, hey, well, you know, I just showed up. Just like, thank you.

What's so hard? Because it's fucking weird. Why is it weird? To get a compliment? Oh, Boston. Yeah, I don't know what, you know, speaking of which, oh fuck, I forgot, guess who I ran into? What? Guess who I fucking ran into.

Oh. So I fucking, I'm in Belgium and I'm going up the stairs and of course my fucking key doesn't work and I go on this big long fucking stupid fucking technology. How the fuck is this making fucking easier? Remember you just hit a key? If your cell phone touches a key, the fucking key still works, man.

I was just being such a fucking baby. And then I went down there and it turned out I had the wrong key. Because this other key was for something else in there. But then still, it was just like, you know, what the fuck? Just give me one fucking key, you assholes, right? So, I turn around,

and I'm walking, and this fucking guy stands up, he's got the 80s rock star fucking hair. He's in great shape. And I just looked at him. And I go, holy shit. I just looked at him. I go, are you Tommy Aldridge? And he goes, yeah.

And I was just like, and I literally yelled. I was like, I had normal voice. I go, are you Tommy Aldridge? And he goes, yeah. And then I just go, no way. In the fucking lobby. I go, no way. And I was like, dude, I got all your DVDs.

I was trying to say I actually have his drum instructional fucking, I have it on VHS tape, I have it for the VCR. I could see it in his face, he was just going, oh no, this person's crazy, how am I going to get out of this? And I just stuck my hand out, I just said, hey man, thanks for all your, I said, I just said thanks for all your great drumming over the years, and as he was walking away, he just said thanks, that's what just reminded me of that.

Right. Yeah. Simple, thank you, keep it moving. Over the years and as he's walking away. He just said thanks. That's what just reminded me that right yeah simple Thank you Yeah, so it was actually I want to say I mean I'm prejudiced here I think was a good fan interaction with him for him. I didn't ask him for an autograph. I just shook his hand Right plus who flips out when they see a drummer other drummers right Right. Okay. Dude, this guy played with fucking Ozzy. Uh huh.

He played in Whitesnake. He played in like every fucking band that I listened to coming up. Whitesnake. I always, like, what was their big hit? Are they? No, that's twice as big. Everybody liked Here I Go Again. Yes! No. Going down the only road I've ever known That's how he sings it now, when you went down.

It's ever known! He goes up. Oh. Ever known. What was that song when we were watching VH1 Classic? I don't believe enough Keep going. I never have, I never will.

You killed the will. Because that's the way he does it. I don't believe in love. I never have, I never will. Oh, you put so much emotion in it. That was Queens-Rike. Queens-Rike. Queens-Rike?

Yeah, I don't know what that was. There was like right like our ISA not like the third right. I think more like Middle Earth. They were more like, I don't know. I don't fucking understand science fiction. But I do know this there was like two types of heavy metal bands. There was there was like the people who were just like, hey, man, man, let's get some booze and fuck some strippers. Like Molly Crew. There was Poison and all of those guys. Not saying, I'm not lumping them all together,

I'm just saying there was the party fucking bands. Right. And then there was the ones that were more into issues. You know what I mean? Yeah. But like, you know, Chernobyl! Is that an actual song? Chernobyl will!

I was trying to think of something that... Who sang, poor some sugar-made deaf lep... That was Deaf Leopard. That was Deaf Leopard when they became a pop band. Who sang, She's My Cherry Pie? That was, that was another one of the white bands. That was not White Snake. It was not White Snake. It wasn't White Line. Oh that wasn't, what the fuck was their name? She's My Cherry Pie. Oh that was a W. Warren. Warren. Warren.

Yeah, but I don't know, those were the W bands. In other words, there was Warren, there was Winger, and there was some. White Snake. No, those were all the white bands. White Snake, White Lion, Great White. Ha ha ha ha ha. It always happens.

It's like in the 60s, there was the Beatles, the Animals, the fucking Rascals, everything became the some the monkeys It was all animal names and then the early 2000s. It was all numbers right late 90s Matchbox 20 3 Mary 4 Wait, so the monkeys to a philand where they were supposed to be a satirized Beatles What was the deal with the monkeys? They were like a manufactured band, right? but

Were they meant to be? face and I'm a believer Left without a trace of my mind I'm in love This is becoming like a slumber party I'm a believer, I couldn't leave her. Alright, sorry. This is becoming like a slumber party. Let me read the... Not everybody's on vacation right now, so this is not going to be cute for long.

Alright, here we go. Alright, let's read some questions. Let's get back to the real world, where people ask an illiterate comedian for life advice. Alright, Rodriguez. Hey Bill, I listen to your podcast and would like your opinion, which I assume you will hit anyways regarding him. He's like the cheating husband that happens

to make too much for that cunt to leave him. Or so he thought. Why is she a cunt if he's cheating? Yeah, he's just trying to be funny. It's an expression. It's a term of endearment. Oh, is that all? It's a termunt if he's cheating. He's just trying to be funny. It's an expression. It's a term of endearment. Oh, is that all?

It's a term of endearment. I see. Now, we're not in fucking England. I don't know if Alex Rodriguez retired. I've seen his name keep popping up. I don't know what happened. I don't know. Being a Red Sox fan, I'm wondering what your opinion is.

I'm not a big baseball fan, so I could give two fucks so you don't care you just want my opinion but Kirby Puckett wasn't such a cunt aside from supposedly raping some chick in a restaurant what are you doing here yeah he was and still is loved and adored in the Twin Cities explain the difference and get your ass here as soon as possible so I can bring someone to see you. I look forward. Thank you Well, let me see if Alex Rodriguez retired What I Really don't have any opinion on a rotten after 2004 once the Red Sox won the World Series I don't give a shit about the Yankees

So it was the end of the movie. It's the end of the fucking movie whenever they have 27 championships, we're never gonna catch them, but they can't rub it in our face that we haven't won one. We won fucking three, it's over. You know what I mean? It was like back to the future. They should have stopped with the first one. They just kept going. Then all of a sudden it was the 1800s. They made two and three at the same time.

He and Derrick Jeter, I always get confused. They're both Yankees, right? They're both really handsome and they date famous girls? Right? Well, personally, I always liked Tino. Who? They're both really handsome and they date famous girls. Um, right? Well, personally, I always liked Tino. Who? It's another fucking person. You're both really handsome. What are you talking about over here? Aren't they? Alex Arod? Yeah, he's good looking. And then Derek Jeter. They're

both like Rodriguez is obviously like Latino. Derek Jeter is like biracial or something. They're both like honey colored, right? You're ruining both of these people for a lot of men right now. Alright, what is my opinion on the guy? Cameron Diaz, one of them dated Mariah or Madonna. Okay, let's just move on to the next question. I don't understand, unless you podcast and would like your opinion which I assume I feel like he's not comfortable in his own skin And he doesn't know what to say and now that that Derek Jeter

The guy who was totally comfortable in his own skin and never fucked up is gone I think he could just sort of fucking chill out and I'm happy for him. He can just kind of fucking You know just be a rod Whatever. I hope he has a good season not when he plays the Red Sox, but you know, I don't give a f- It's over. We won the World Series. Go fuck yourself. We ran the table. I'm a happy sports fan. All right, Conor McGregor! Conor McGregor! I know he's not Scottish. Stop tweeting me.

Hey, hey, Billy Blood. Did you hear McGregor talking shit about John Cena? He went on a rant about how he respects the old WWF, but doesn't give a shit about the new guys because they're all sissies. He calls Cena a 40-year-old grandmother. In what universe is a 40-year-old a grandmother? I mean, a 40-year-old could be a grandmother, but Jesus, how old is Connor? Oh, what's great is he's such a badass that he could actually say that about a guy

as big as John Cena, who I imagine has a wrestling background. Some of these guys that get into the WWF actually like Ken Patera I remember was like, he won an Olympic gold medal for wrestling. A number of them like at the collegiate level, like were champions, so they actually know what the fuck they're doing.

So their ground game is pretty good, I would think. Anyways, he says, I'm sure McGregor could take punches better, but Cena is much stronger. Who do you think would win, and do you think McGregor is a douchebag? Have you talked to Joe Rogan about this? Joe Rogan is a busy man, so I haven't talked to him about what you think about John Cena. Come on, McGregor. John Cena is in movies and commercials now anyway.

He's not even like... and reality shows. Like, he's not even like, actively fighting. Please just say he's honey-colored. Just don't say that at any point. Alright? He's not. So I wouldn't. Anya, shouldn't you like go down to the pool or something? Oh, now you want to kick me out of the park?

Yeah, because you're turning everything into like, uh, look what's happening now with the gay guy and the fucking old broads with the botox in their face. What's the name of that show? I don't know. Hi, I'm fucking... I'm dressed like I'm from the South and I'm going to make these fucking Jersey broads get mad at each other.

Are you talking about Andy Cohen? There you go. Watch What Happens Live? Look what these bitches are yelling about now. He just stirs them up. He does. He does. He's like Captain Lu Albono. He calls Cena 40-year-old. Is that the one with the rubber bands on his beard? Yeah. Rest in peace. He was in Cyndi Lauper's video. He played her dad. And the girls just want to have fun video.

Sorry. Nia Hill everybody. Hey, thanks for coming by the podcast. I'll see ya. Alright, I'm done. No you're not. Get out. But isn't that question for... I could answer that. The next one. I'll be quiet for the rest of the segment. Alright, so what do I think about it?

I think he's just being Conor McGregor and that's why you fucking love the guy. He sells fights, he's fucking hilarious. Calling John Cena 40 year old grandmother's hilarious and I imagine he'll say something funny back and it'll be great. You know, I don't know. No one, Conor McGregor, I don't think he plans out

what the fuck he says. I just think he goes up there and he goes off like a comedian that's in the zone. I think he's fucking hilarious. Now I gotta go find that clip. Alright, can women go to bachelor parties? Oh God, what? What?

Is this gonna become a thing? Alright, hey Billy Blue Balls. I'd like your advice on a disagreement my best friend and I are having. He's getting married next fall and we are very close. We've been great friends since college and we are so close that him and his fiance just asked me to officiate their wedding. The disagreement is about whether I should be able to go to his bachelor party in Vegas. I'm a woman, but because he's my best friend, I think I should be able to go.

He wants the bachelor party to be men only, and I understand this to a point, but at the same time, by virtue of how close we are, I think I should be able to go. My friend and I are big friends of your podcast and have agreed that if you read this on air, whatever your advice is, we'll take it. So if you don't think that I, the best female friend,

should be going to the bachelor party, we'll agree to it. Love the podcast, hope you come to Boston soon. Thanks, and go fuck yourself. No, you shouldn't, because I thought, first I thought this was a guy gonna be bitchin' about his male friend that wanted to bring a woman along, and the first thing I was gonna say would be like, I don't agree with that, but at the end of the day,

it's this person's bachelor party, it's their wedding. So you just gotta, you know, I would just shut up about it, but I would break his balls for the rest of time. Like, this is my best friend. He had a woman at his bachelor party. No, it wasn't a stripper. So, I would give the same advice here. This is not your bachelor party,

and this is not a time for you to throw a hissy fit and ruin this thing for him. He has the bachelor party the way he wants. I think it's really cool that you guys are best friends and that you're gonna, I think it's really cool that you guys are best friends and that you're going to, I think it's enough of an honor that he's going to let you speak as his best man. I mean, that's pretty fucking amazing.

Officiate, whatever. Oh, you're going to do the vows? Yeah. Oh, okay. She's going to officiate the whatever. Oh, all right, yeah, there you go. That's huge. There you go, there you go, yeah.

And I was, do you care what I think? Only if you agree with me. I agree with you. And that I was do you care what I think only if you agree with me I agree with you. That's why this relationship work. I totally agree with you. Okay, my wife I can understand why she'd want to go because it's like hey, I'm your friend I want to go but like yeah, just say what you say don't stir her fucking brain up again. All right, you shouldn't go Yes, respect your best friend's wishes and not go because he's going to want to do some shit and that's not comfortable with you. You don't get extra credit for saying what you already said.

All right, bye. Every once in a while, to me, and I kiss you. My wife is a gremlin. Hey, Billy Bongos. My wife of just over a year is adorable and everybody loves her most days She is a hard-working level-headed human I consider myself to have similar characteristics and though and through hard work have become quite successful Because of this success we have afforded to become somewhat of a socialite couple

We attend several parties and events on a monthly basis This all sounds like the beginning of boogie nights, doesn't it? And then she starts doing blow, next thing you know she's getting banged in the driveway, you're just sitting there going, what the fuck's going on? That's nothing like boogie nights. Oh. Oh.

We attend several parties. How is that boogie nights? I don't know, that's what I'm picturing. Because they're a socialite couple, then they're gonna get into the cocaine couple thing. Okay. Oh, I think I see where you're going with this. Alright, so we attend several parties and events

on a monthly basis. Normally all goes well and we go to bed happy and peaceful. But every now and then, my adorable wife turns evil. I already picture her catching him looking at the fucking hotties. You go to a socialite party, you're testing the limits of your fucking relationship. That's when you say, they did a bad, bad thing, right?

You're stuck with those fucking eyes wide shut parties. Yeah, that's what you're doing. Yeah, all of those fucking people, they look at women, they're like objects and shit, and it's just like, they give you the old flick of the eyebrow, meaning, hey, you want to fuck mine, and I'll fuck yours? I've never been to one of these parties,

but that's what I think goes down. All right. You wanna fuck mine and I'll fuck yours? Well, we both just watched them go down on each other as we discussed stocks. All right. Normally, all goes well, and we go to bed happy and peaceful, but every now and then my adorable wife turns evil.

It's a little like the movie Gremlins. I've narrowed it down. If she's boozed, hungry, and tired after midnight, she turns into a Class A cunt. She's mean to me, but what is worth is she says evil things about others to me. The result is I am the only person that gets to see and hear this gremlin in action, and it makes me crazy. Makes me want to buy her a pair of cement shoes and a boat. Kidding, I think.

Okay, Eminem. So, what do I do? We have talked about it several times the next day with Levelhead, but gizmo continues to turn from time to time. Do I start carrying granola, I was just going to say, I'd have a sandwich in my back pocket. Do I start carrying granola bars and a five hour energies in my pockets?

Like, what does that word? Like an EpiPen. What is that? That's for people who have allergies. Oh, for not allergies or do I cut off for booze in general? The lovely Nia, do you have any input? Bring your A game to Gainesville, until then go fuck yourself.

All right. Sorry, I was just reading the last little bit he had there. What would I do? I don't know. I would, yeah, I think I would just start bringing snacks. And I would start calling her the gremlin. What's the word you use? Or just, yeah, just when she starts getting into that zone. Gizmo.

Just being like, hey, Gizmo, why Don't you take it down a notch? Yeah? Yeah, exactly. I would literally Feed her like a rabid dog You know if they have a rabid dog ever came running out you know that's what you're supposed to do You're supposed to throw a raw steak at him right isn't we supposed to have a raw steak on you at all time No, that's a black guy if you get a black guy a raw steak on him. I thought you said black guy at first. Oh, put a black guy. What?

Yeah. The black guy comes at you, you just throw a raw steak. I was like, what the fuck? Black eye. Wouldn't that be great if everybody was a meat eater and they liked it rare, then you wouldn't have to cook it and you just walk around, I'm going to the store and you just had steaks with you. If there was any fucking problems, sir, would you like to sign up for this cell phone?

He just fucking threw it. It would just run away. Cost you too much money though. All right. I thought there was some comedy there. There wasn't. You can't cut off her booze unless you just decide to not go to these events with her.

I would make sure you guys have a nice dinner before you go out. I would just break her balls the entire time over there. Be like, so what do you think? What do you turn into Gizmo tonight? Around 11.30 or 11.45? Absolutely. Gizmo, Gizmo, look at you going crazy.

Your teeth are all pointy now. What's going on with you? All right, one more. This is becoming long here. How long is it? An hour 12. Here we go. All right, move back to East Coast. Bill, as your success continues and you become even more financially stable and set for the long term, that is an impossibility. I don't understand how you get financially, because at the end of the day, even if you just take all your money and you stick it in a bank, what those cunts do is at some point they play a little fucky-fuck and they loan everything out. I will never forget just watching people with their life savings in there standing outside

the bank and there's just a padlock on it. So there's really no place that you can put it. Every place you put it, someone's going to put their fucking hands on it. You know what I mean? You stick it in the stock market, they start investing it. They just like, it's so fucked up, they won't just let you have your money. The only way to do it is if you fucking just

cast your check every week and you stuck it in the wall and then you got to worry, like did I leave the iron on? Every time you leave, or someone gets wind that that's what you're doing, and then you gotta have the shotgun bed. You ever seen the shotgun bed? No. It's the greatest fucking bed in the world

if you live alone. It's basically, the headboard, you bring your hands back like this as you touch it, the thing flips around like a secret door and a loaded shotgun comes down in your hand. That's a real thing? Yeah. That's not something from a movie? It's the fucking shit.

But it's the thing, whenever they show the demonstration, the person's in the bed by themselves. Okay. Because when it comes down, the fucking barrel is going to be pointing at your wife, at her head. Yeah, that sounds dangerous. What you got to do is you got to sleep on the side of the bed. If you're a left-handed shot or a right-handed shot, you got to sit on the side of the bed where, if in your panic... You know what I mean?

Like if you woke up in the middle of the night and you looked over and there was just this Figure standing there in the door like that horror movie, you know in the lady Then she turns the lights on then she turns it off and then it's there Yeah, then she turns it on she turns it off and it moved up like 10 feet It's like bitch leave the fucking lights on I cannot watch that trailer because that's exactly what I think I'm like, why do you keep flicking it on maybe Maybe because you're like, am I seeing what I'm really seeing? I don't know. When it moves up though, that is the shit.

Yeah, it's scary, but I can't deal with that. You know something, I hate people who don't buy into horror movies. I always buy it. I'm like, all right, I get it. Yeah, she's flipping the lights on. That would never happen in real life. Yeah.

Anyways, the only way I can see that you're financially fucking set is you buy a house and you fucking pay it off. All right. Get to the rest of this thing. Okay. You had any thoughts about what point you would have to get to before you move back to the East Coast? I know that Nia may not be fond of this and you may not be thinking about it

either but it seems like you would be happier back in Boston. Who the fuck is this idiot? You don't know me. Yeah, you don't know me. You don't know what I like. Boston, New York, etc. I'm from Pittsburgh originally and lived in Chicago for a few years and now I'm in Washington D.C. area. So I never lived on the west coast but have visited numerous times. You can't beat the weather in LA, but you can't beat the culture of the East Coast. Would love to hear your thoughts and thank you for keeping us all entertained.

Have you been complaining about LA a lot? No, not at all, I love LA. So why does this person seem to think that you'd be happier back in Boston? Because people, by the time I read the rest of it, I get it, he's just looking at the world through his own eyes. I don't know. By the time I read the rest of it, I get it. He's just looking at the world through his own eyes.

I don't know. Sometimes I think about moving back east, but I mean, I'm doing efforts for family. The show business is out there. And there's fucking great people in LA. There's great food. There's all this great stuff to do out there. A lot of people shit on LA, because when they move out there,

they try to make it a show business, and if they don't get anywhere, and they pack it in and they leave, all they really met was a bunch of other desperate people that didn't get anywhere. And it can give you a really bad feeling about LA. I've had that experience too, the first time I went out there.

And I was like, fuck LA, all the real people are on the East Coast And I was like, fuck L.A., all the real people are on the East Coast, and I started having that attitude. But, you know, when you go out there, when you break through, and you start meeting people, some of the really most talented, generous, cool fucking people I've met have been when I've been out there.

Nine times out of 10, if you meet somebody legendary, you quickly realize why they're a fucking legend and that's because of their attitude. They've made all this money, they're really super successful and they're still like generally interested in new things and don't feel that they know everything and that type of shit and I don't know you can't beat the fucking houses out there are awesome yeah I don't know yeah you've never once complained about living in LA if anything you're like I love it out here I love it out here yeah so and I also love New

York you're getting I love New York but like you, and I also love New York. I love New York, but like, you know, if I was ever to move back to New York, I mean, at this point, I'd have to live in a house. Like, once you live in a house, you can't go back to living in a fucking apartment and traipsing up and down the fucking stairs. And just living in New York, you have no car, you're just like this prisoner of the neighborhood, and you're just sitting there dying

for new restaurants to open up Just I just remember that and then you got this little ass fucking kitchen and you're watching like I Used to watch Multimario and I'm like I'm gonna buy one of those I want to buy one of those and then I had No place to put it and all these pots and pans stacked up I can't do it New York City's for young people You know and if you don't believe, look at the older people that live there and look at their postures and shit like I don't know. I love New York, but I couldn't go. I don't know that I'd want to live there again. Not in the city, at least.

Yeah, I just I feel like that part of my life is over. Yeah, it was fun in my 20s. Yeah, I roller bladed on all those avenues. But if we ever went back, I would get a house and I'd just drive into the city. Yeah, yeah. And then bitch moan and complain about the fucking traffic. Exactly. I would do that.

Like live in the suburbs in Westchester or whatever. I wouldn't mind that. Yeah, I mean, it's a possibility. I kind of feel like I'm going to do this cartoon and I'm going to be ready to be like, all right, if this thing goes like seven, eight seasons, that's it. What else more do you need to do?

I went out to LA, I got a TV show. We did it for eight seasons. People liked it. I made people laugh. Yeah. And then what? I would do the sign film. Vegas.

Yeah, then I'd do my fucking. Vegas. My drum solo fucking comedy show. Right. All right, thank you guys for listening. This is the podcast, go fuck yourselves and I will talk to you a little later in the week when I check in on you.

Suddenly the channel changed the first time you saw blood when I check in on you. Survived in y'all amongst the fittest Love ain't love until you give it up Riding high amongst the waves I can feel like I have a soul that has the same I can see the light coming through