Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-18-16
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00:29difference.Hey, what's going on?It's Bill Byrne.It's time for the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday, Monday morning podcast andI'm just checking in on you.What's going on?I don't know how much you heard of that before and it was just yelling at me.She's over there packing.
00:53I'm like, when are you going to be done fucking packing so I can do the podcast?Jesus Christ.Did you bring enough shoes, Nia?Did you bring enough dresses, Nia?Oh, the fuck was that?Was this an American coin?Um, anyways, what's going on?Checking in on your week.
01:15How's your week going?Oh, that's wonderful.Isn't that wonderful?My little vacation is winding down here.I must deserved rest and relaxation rest, but whatever the fuck people say.Um, I had a good time, but I'm a workaholic.So, you know, five days in, I'm like, all right, is anybody got any lumbar?They need a chop.
01:40I have difficulties fucking relaxing as everybody would say.Yeah.If you're going to walk around giving me shit, you're going to really affect, you're bringingthe negative vibes.So the other day, Nia, we go down, we went down to the beach and I did what I usuallydon't do.I got into an, well, not an ocean, it was a sea.This is the difference.
02:01See, I don't fuck with the ocean on any level, as you people know.But all of a sudden now was the Mediterranean sea.I'm like, oh, well, you know, you never hear about sharks in a sea from sea to shiningsea.There's no, there's whatever song that is, there's not one word about a shark, right?Oh, beautiful.First spacious guys for amber waves.That's not the fucking Star Spangled Banger.
02:29That's, uh, isn't that all beautiful?Or is it called Amber Waves of Grain?For purple mountains, yeah, but that's not in that song.First spacious guys for Amber Waves of Grain, for purple mountains, majesty, up off thefruited land.Merca, Merca, God shed his grace on thee, after the genocide and some slavery.We build some skyscrapers for the upper 1%.So what song is that?
03:14That's America the Beautiful.Oh, I believe Katy Perry did a cover of it.Didn't she?What?One of those girls with the big eyes.Nobody covers Big Eye Magoo.National anthems.It's not a fucking national anthem.
03:28It's a patriotic song.Dun dun ba da bum bum bum bum bum bum, right?Okay.One.Okay.Okay.So anyways, so we go down to the Mediterranean Sea and I say, you know what, fuck it.I'm going in.
03:51I'm gonna, I'm gonna fucking swim and I swear to God, my heart has never been fucking racinglike that.A body of water in my life.I had my little swimming goggles, right?I got my head shaved, so I look like I'm going to go fucking compete against the dudewith the bong in the 400 meters.I have not watched one second of the Olympics and I got to tell you, I don't feel like I'mmissing anything.
04:12You know what I love about the Olympics?They get all this sports no one gives a fuck about out of the way once every four years.All right, here they are.Somebody on skis with a rifle.Cross country skiing.Diving.Hey, what are you into?You watch football?
04:29You watch hockey?Nah.I'm into diving.Does your daughter do it?Nah.Just into it.The triple pike position there?And with that time, Greg Lusgainis banged his head off the fucking, the board.
04:44That was the first epic fail before YouTube even existed.There was some gay guy diver who had a problem with his junk would come flying out, you know,because he had it so extra fucking small evidently, or he's got a huge dick.What are you talking about?This fucking guy, he said his manhood would be doing the little fucking twizzlers therein the air, whatever they call him.He was gay?He was gay.
05:10Yeah.Who says?They said.He said.They who?What he's got to blow a guy in the platform is gay people and they dive sometimes.Some of them are architects.When are you going to open your mind up to the fact that gay people can do all sorts of
05:25things?Jesus.What's it like to be married to a fascist?Hey.I was speaking of fascists.You know what's fucking hilarious?I've noticed over in Europe, you get into a fascist country and the elevators, they don'tplay that game where it's starting to close and you stick your arm in it.
05:45They're just like, once you are too late.And they just like, oh shit, this is going to chop my fucking arm off.You're in the allied countries, right?The elevator starts to close.You can kind of do the old, easy there, easy.I decide, not you, dude, fucking Germany and Italy.I made the mistake.Two times trying to do the, oh yeah, let me stick my fucking arm in here and it quickly
06:08became like, whoa, whoa, whoa.I was barely able to get it.Actually, it started to open again.It does open back up, but it's really aggressive, really aggressive.So anyway, so we're down there.Should I tell them about your girlfriend, Nia?Did you couldn't stop fucking staring at that down there?Jesus Christ.
06:29So it was definitely.It was definitely, what would you say, Nia, European cut fucking swimsuits, the tributeto fucking Brazil.It was straight up G string thongs at that beach.Yeah.Sums out.I know.I like how you kept trying to subtly catch her in your fucking videos.
06:52No, I did not.Yes, you did.You're a fucking pervert.No, I didn't.But because you're a woman, you won't get called on it.No, I was not trying to.You are a creep.I'm not a creep.
07:03You go to sleep.Yes, you are.I'm not a creep.She was just very good looking.And I appreciated her beauty.Anyway, so I go to go, I got to go swim in, I go to go swim in the fucking Mediterranean.I go in there.First of all, the water is, you know, it's a little more choppy.
07:24I'm more of a pool guy.Okay.There's no current in a pool.And I went in there and Jesus Christ, my fucking, the second I put those fucking goggles on,I looked down, I saw these little fish swimming.My brain really goes, what's he, what, what do you, little fish, bigger fish, right?Like what's his face?Danny DeVito in one flu of the cuckoo's nest, what are we going to do with these little
07:49fish?And he smiles, he goes, catch the big fish, right?I just kept thinking bigger and bigger and bigger fucking fish till I got the sharks.And there was this little, they had this little roped off area.They had a little tarp there just in case one of these fucking monsters decided to swimin.But there was an open area because it was also bringing in these boats.And I just pictured one of them like looking over because where I was, you could see the
08:14bottom.But if you looked, the creepiest looked ever when you're in the ocean or a sea is likeout to sea or out to the ocean where ocean.You know, I'm glad you asked that, Nia, because that completely derails what the fuck I'mtalking about.I don't know what they are.They're both gigantic.So anyways, when you look out and it gets into deeper water and just becomes a darker
08:39blue and disappears, I just kept picturing one of those sharks just coming into viewdoing that little fucking, you know, you know, shark swim with their fucking asses moving.It's like the old roller blade impression I do, Nia, when the people would set up thecones and they'd turn around backwards and their ass would go, what was they went throughthe cones?Right?That's how sharks swim, except they go frontwards.I was just picturing one of them fucking coming in.
09:05My heart was fucking racing, although you took video of me, Nia, I was very impressedhow I looked when I swim.You're a very strong swimmer.I'm a good swimmer.Oh, freckles.Two Italian people told you there's no sharks.Okay.Well, one Italian person told me and another Italian person.
09:21Okay.Now let's look this up.Okay.Let's look this up right now.Sharks in the Mediterranean Sea, in the...Well, specifically where we are.Oh, yeah.No, I looked it up.
09:34Like not only, not only are they in the Mediterranean seas, see the most attacks are off the coastof Italy.So why are they all saying that there's no sharks?Because this is a tourist trap, Nia.Where we're at is a fucking tourist trap.Okay.It's just like that fucking guy who wants the beaches open and jaws.Okay.
09:57Everybody's got to come down, they got to buy their magnets, they got to buy their fuckingplates with lemons on it because this region is known for lemons, so everything has tohave lemons on it.Really?I didn't know.But I...They don't tell you that every five minutes.Yeah.
10:11Like I'd say, the food, the food has been outstanding.Amazing.And the lemonadas have been crazy.Fantastic.Little slushies.Right?Granitas.Oh my God.
10:23Having a good time.What about that fucking dessert we had the other night that looked like a fucking tinny?It was like, it was like Trace Lege's cake, but it was, it was lemony and then on topthey had this cream and then for whatever reason...It was the lemon sponge cake.Yeah, they put like this red looking something or other that looked like a nipple.Yeah.It was a little mound there.
10:43Okay.It was delicious.Who's the pervert now?The second I said it looked like a tinny, it died laughing is exactly what it lookedlike.Not a real tinny.Like a mannequin tinny.All right.
10:55The 47, the 47 shark species that lurk in the Mediterranean.Yeah.Okay.And one of them, guess what?It's the great white shark, all right?Shark attacks around the world map.Let's look at this.And what we all know in Australia, someone gets taken as they say.
11:16Why we should worry?Why should we be worried about the rise in shark attacks?I love how they're going to blame the sharks.It's like maybe if we didn't fish out the ocean, they'd have more food options, youstupid cunts.Spike and shark attacks.North and South Carolina see one or two shark attacks per year on average.In the last month, there have been eight.
11:36No one has been killed, but there is no such thing as a casual, I don't know what thisis 2015.Wait, let me get to, let me get back to the Mediterranean Sea.Um, 47 different types of species.What the fuck are they?How to survive a shark attack?Stay on the land.All right.
12:02European countries, number of shark attacks since 1900, number of fatal attacks.Number one, Nia, Italy, 50, 11 have been fatal.So basically every year and a half or so, probably a little bit less, somebody getsbit by a shark.Do you want to be that person?I don't.The UK had 38.Nobody died.
12:25Those tough pasty bastards, Spain 33, seven people died.You knew people would die.They're so dramatic there, especially when they played soccer, Croatia, 25, and then 12people died.Almost half the people bit off Croatia.Almost half of them died.That's cause they're so fucking macho.They probably tried to fight the thing.
12:47I said, getting out of there, I must break you.I have no idea what people in Croatia are like.Just anybody in Eastern Europe to me is, uh, is dolphin breed.All right.Greece, 24 attacks, 13 people died, France, 10, three people died, Portugal, eight, onedied, Malta, five, three, Jesus Christ, Russia, four, zero.Yeah.You can't kill those bastards.
13:12Uh, Montenegro three and two sharks found in the Mediterranean, angel shark, angularrough shark, Atlanta cat shark, basking shark, big-eyed six-gill shark.Are you really going to read all those big-eyed sharks?Is that a nickname?Big-eyed threat.Let's just get to the ones that everybody knows.Nobody cares about that.Blue sharks, a dusky shark, hammerhead.
13:36Yeah, that's a nice one.Yeah.They're real friendly.Shark, uh, Mako, milk shark, nurse hound, Portuguese dogfish, sand bar shark.All right.A lot of these, I guess, are not that intimidating, or at least they haven't gotten a shot.I mean, what if like the great white shark, Mia, is just like white people, where theyget all the good roles in shark movies.
14:03So that's why they made one about them.And then all these other ones are like the minorities.So no one ever hears about the shark-nosed seven-gill shark.What does that sound like to you, as far as a person, is that Dominican?People would rather listen to me zip up my luggage than hear you read off a list of sharks.You know, that's really mean.It's not supportive.Huh?
14:22What are you talking about?You fucking said there's no sharks or shark attacks, and they're like, the people inhere go, there's no shark attack.What do you think they're going to say, Mia?You think they're going to stand down and go, get out of the water, freaking everybodyout, standing there in their little Speedo?Oh, Jesus Christ.We saw some fucking people that needed to be in a bathing suit, and we saw some people
14:47that did not need, did not need.And I'd forgotten about that one guy, and you fucking brought him up again.At dinner?Hairy ass?Oh my, good God, all fucking mighty.It's one of the most horrific fucking things I've ever seen.A lot of hair, a lot of hair.Yeah, he had like a taint afro coming out of the bottom of his fucking stupid ass shorts.
15:11Just standing right in front of us.Afro.It's like, did you say taffro?What is it?Oh God.So anyways, I've been out of the, I've been out of the country for a while, and I foundup from another American here, this guy from Chicago, that Milan Lucic got traded to theEdmonton Oilers.
15:35Fuck you.I didn't know that.They got a seven-year contract, you know, they got some young talent over there.So then I'm like, well, who did the Bruins sign?Like a fucking dope.Like how many times do I have to get excited about who the Boston Bruins are gonna sign?I know who they're gonna sign.They're gonna sign a bunch of fucking nobodies, like they always do, because the ghost of
16:00Harry's sending still in there, and they don't want to spend any fucking money ever.Can we ever go out and pick up a superstar?We never do.We always go out and get six really good people.And then a couple of people, like who the fuck are they?So we signed some fucking, I don't know, we signed some goaltender.We signed this kid from St. Louis, he seemed decent, he scored 20 something goals, 30 somethinggoals at one point.
16:28Will we ever sign a 50 goals score, Nia?Huh?I hope so.No.Never do that.P.K.Subban comes along.We're ever gonna fucking sign a guy like no.
16:38The only time we get a guy like that is if we get lucky.You know, nobody knew who fucking Charo was.No one knew who the fuck he was and when we signed him.He was just this big six foot seven fucking goof tripping over himself in the capitalof Canada up there in Ottawa, right?And everybody up there in Ottawa, they're so goddamn quiet and forgiving.It's a transient fucking state.Nobody's from Ottawa.
17:03You go there and you try to push your legislation through for the fucking syrup bill, whateverthe fuck it is that people go do up there and they had no idea who this guy was andwe got him and he was a steal.I can't remember the last fucking time the Boston Bruins went out and signed a fuckingsniper.I can tell you this though.We've given away more of those fucking guys in my life.Joe Thornton, yeah, get the fuck out of here, Tyler Sagan, get the fuck out of here, get
17:33the fuck out of here.That's what constantly sending 40 goal scorers tell them to pack their bags and we alwaysquestion their toughness or there's some rumor about their parting and it's fucking bullshitat the end of the fucking day.You know what it is?We don't want to pay him.We don't want to pay him, Nia.That's what it got.
17:54If the Bruins ever went on fucking vacation, if the franchise went on vacation, they'drent a fucking trailer.That's what they would do.Well, why should we pay for a fucking hotel room?Just keep just driving.When it rains out, it has a roof.I can't remember the last time I was excited about anybody they fucking signed, but everyfucking summer, I'm like, we got rid of that guy?
18:20We're not under the fucking cap, are we?I don't have any of these fucking numbers, by the way.I have no idea.I have no idea.I just don't understand.I fucking see you the Saber site.Let's see.Kyle Oppoza?
18:34I don't know.Oppozo?I have no idea who this guy is.I have no idea where any of these fucking people are.Maybe that's what it is.Maybe I should shut the fuck up because I don't know who anybody is anymore.Let's see.Calgary Flames signed a bunch of nobodies.
18:51Ah, who gives a shit?Half these fucking people did it.You know, could these fucking Europeans stop coming into the league with their goddamnTransylvanian names?Even if they're good.I mean, they have to score like 900 goals before you finally know how to say their name.At least me, anyways.Oh, good.
19:09Did you sign Jordan Tutu?That's a name.T-O-O, T-O-O.You know, if he scores a bunch of goals, they'll say Jordan was too, too much for the fuckingwho gives a shit last night.Sorry.All right, let's get to the, let's get to some of the reads here for the week.All right, here we go.
19:32Oh, the Tim Ferriss show, everybody.Did you guys know the Tim Ferriss show was selected as one of iTunes best up to 2015?I just said to two like that guy.The podcast has been downloaded by more than 80 million people or 80 million times.And in each episode, Tim deconstructs world-class performers from every walk of life, business,sports, ah, investing in more to find the tools, tactics and routines you can use.Favorite books, check morning routines, check.And that's just the beginning.
20:10Last guests include Arnold Schwarzenegger, what was that story?What's his face told?Bill Hader.Remember that, Nia?Carl Weathers, he ate the schnitzel.Laird Hamilton and serial billionaire Peter Thiel, serial billionaire, was he fuckingkilling people?The stories are captivating and the lessons will help you upgrade your life.
20:37Just visit fourhourworkweek.com slash Tim.That's fourhourworkweek.com, F-O-U-R-H-O-U-R, Jesus Christ, workweek forward slash Tim.In case you don't know how to spell four hour.So I guess he interviews a bunch of successful people and then they give you their secretsand then you apply them to your life and next thing you know, whose face is on the coverof the cereal box.Oh, I think that's you.All right, Helix everybody, Helix, you're unique.
21:14You don't walk like everyone else, talk like everyone else or sleep like everyone else.You don't go to a baseball game and sit in the bleachers and no one has any fucking ideawhether you're there or not.You're special.So why is your mattress one size fits all?You stand out in the crowd as you sit there in your sweatpants, eating a slice of pizzain Manhattan.They made that city for you.
21:39So why are you sleeping on a mattress that is made for your average run-of-the-mill fuckinganimal?I know why.I don't know why, but this next line explains why, because a truly customized mattress willcost you five to 10,000 bucks until now.Is that how much they cost?Well, I guess that's why I sleep on a regular mattress.Why would you spend five to 10 grand on something you're just going to, you know, you're not
22:04even going to remember being on it.Jesus Christ.What would you do with five to $10,000?Oh, she has her headphones on.She can't hear me.Nia, I'm way smarter than you.You're a dumb person and you lucked out when you met me.Hey, sweetie, how are you doing?
22:23You're so gorgeous and everyone on the podcast misses you.I heard you.Go to helixsleep.com, answer a few simple questions, and then Helix and they'll runa helix.Is it?Yes.Oh my God.How do you know?
22:41Because that's how the word is pronounced.How do I know?There was a fucking band.There was a band in the 80s called Helix.I guarantee you, Bill, it's not the pronunciation of the band in the 80s that no one's fuckingheard of.Well, you're in a mood, huh?Go to helixsleep.com, answer a few simple questions, and they'll run a 3D biomechanical
23:07model of your body through the proprietary algorithms they developed with the help ofthe world's leading ergonomics and biochemics experts.All I knew, no, is they just, Nia, you know, this is what their side business is, Nia.They take this computer mold to your body, right?So they figure out what kind of mattress you do, and then they sell the mold to Asia andthey make those fucking sex suits, and then there's somebody over there fucking the mattressversion of you.That's what they're doing over there, and it's an issue of national security.
23:42That's why we need to elect Trump.Do you know over in Asia, they're fucking a cadaver version of yourself right now.They're laughing at us, and they're charging us to do it.If I became president, there would be no more Asians fucking mattress versions of Americans.That's right, make it great again.My tractor doesn't work, make it great again.All right, the result, the most comfortable mattress you've ever slept on.Helix, customers report a 30% improvement in overall sleep quality.
24:22How do you even realize that?You're asleep.And for couples, they customize each side of the mattress.What do you have, better dreams?Your mattress arrives at your door in about a week, and shipping is 100% free.Wait a minute, they take a fucking mold to your body and they crank it out that fast?That's why everyone from GQ Magazine to Forbes are all talking about Helix Sleep.You have 100 nights to try it out, gross, and if you don't love it, they'll pick it
24:47up for free and give you 100% refund, no questions asked.So go to helixsleep.com slash burr and get $50 off your order.That's helixsleep.com slash burr.Hey, helixsleep.com slash burr.Helix.There you go, helix.Says the peanut gallery.It's one of my favorite reads ever.
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26:27Sorry.And go to zip.Breakruda.com slash burr.All right.One more.Mercifully.One more.MVMT watches.
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27:33be confused by two broke girls, which I started watching with Nia.And I can't even begin to tell you how soothing both of their voices are.I swear to God, if you had on a MVMT watch, while watching two broke girls, I would notbe surprised if it during the punchlines that started to come apart.All right, originally founded by two broke college kids, MVMTwatches cut out the middlemanand their big brand retail markups in order to give you a stylish watch for an affordableprice.MVMTwatches started just $95, a watch with departments to equality for a fraction of
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28:44the podcast.Hey, what do you do on the internet?No, I follow this watch company.I just can't get enough of it.My favorite days is when they have a new watch that comes out and I get to see how they attachthe strap to the face.Oh, really?That makes me never want to talk to you again.
29:02Well, maybe that's the deal.Maybe that's the brilliance of it.That's a good thing to say on a first date, and you don't want to be the dick to say youdon't want to have a second date.Maybe invite her out for a second date, go, hey, you want to fucking come over to my apartmentand watch the goings on of MVMTwatches online.If you just shut up right then and you really listen, you can hear it drying up across thetable.
29:30Oh, Bill, that's disgusting.Oh, is it?Well, I'm sorry you're not an adult.Well, here's something I came across on the internet so you know it's got to be true.Just going through all these countries and shit.I don't even know how I got there.Like each night I come home, I'm totally like, you know, I'm asleep, I've had a couple glassesof wine, and the next morning I wake up and I see the windows that I'm opened going.
29:53When the fuck was I looking at that?Like for some reason, I started reading up on Leon Spinks, oh, you know why?I know why, because the other night I was watching when George Foreman fought Ron Lyleand I got to tell you, what's his face?It's like a Rocky fight, right?Howard Cosell, Howard Cosell is in rare form.He just shits on everybody.The fight starts and he goes, a lunging, almost amateurish right hand from the challenger
30:29for Ron Lyle.And whoever the fuck he's doing the fight with, I think it's Ken Norton.He reminds him like seven times during that fight that George Foreman knocked him out.I thought at one point that what's his face was going to punch Howard, he just never gaveinto it.But he just goes, I would not describe this as an artistic endeavor or something, a boxingexposition, this is not.You got to watch it, it's an incredible fight.
30:56But anyway, so last night I started, I don't know, maybe I was reading about Quentin Tarantinoand I got into fucking and glorious bastards and I don't know if this is true or not, butevidently after the fucking war, right, and the world saw what the fucking Nazis did,they were like, well someone's got to pay for this, they had the Nuremberg trials andall they did was they basically, I don't know, it said a amount of about 24 individualsgot punished.Some got life imprisonment, some got put to death or whatever.And they say it takes more than 24 people to kill 6 million, obviously, right?
31:38So basically the amount of the fucking headache it was to bring these guys to trial and gothrough all the bullshit and put together the cases, they just said that that's it.That's too fucking big.There's too many goddamn people.We're also carving up the country and we need these cunts to work for us.So the allies kind of wash their hands of it, at which point some hardcore fucking Jewishpeople, the, what's that Matt Damon character near?He comes out with it every once in a while, he had the gun and the fucking lady was like,
32:14get the gun out of the poster because that's what makes people use guns.Jason Bourne, that was one of the dumbest things I've ever seen in my life, get thatgun off of that movie poster, yeah, that'll solve the problem.That's what it was.I remember when Star Wars came out and all these little kids went out and got fuckinglightsabers and all that shit.I mean, good for that person, fairly taking the time to really address the issue and notmake it about themselves.
32:44All right, plowing ahead here.So this group of Jason Bourne Jewish people got together and they're like, you know what?I don't think I'm satisfied with 24 of these Nazi cunts going down.And then allegedly they were like this fucking hit squad going around the fucking world,just tracking these fucking people down and having kangaroo court trials and fuckingexecuting them.I don't know if this shit is true.It was such an amazing fucking story that I can't believe that if it was actually true,
33:19why this wouldn't have seen the light of day, these guys actually went to the point.One person they said they showed up to he killed over a hundred thousand fucking peopleand they gave them a rope.All right, and they let him do they said and let him do the decent says was it Elkins describeshow, for example, I'm going to fuck all these words up the note mim track down to suburbanWinnipeg, Canada, when Alexander lack responsible for the deaths of 100,000 Jews at the Estonianconcentration camp.They waited for lack's wife to leave on a cinema trip.
33:58You mean go to the movies, then confronted him with the crimes and their intended punishmentand let him do the decent thing and take his own life with a rope.What do they stage it like he was jerking off?I got to look this guy up.They were one point.We're going to try to poison the fucking water and just indiscriminately kill a bunch of fuckingGerman people.The same way that they had killed a bunch of Jewish people.
34:24I want to know why there hasn't been a bunch of shit talking about this.If this actually happened me, look, this guy with the fuck's his name again, Alexanderlack Alexander lack.Let's look this guy up.Let's see if his wife went to go visit the cinema and he took his own life with the fuckingGerman.No, but then they said that they all did it and they kept their mouth shut about it.So then how the fuck would I know about it?
34:53But then again, somebody took the time to type it.So like, doesn't that mean it happened?All right, here we go.All right, Jesus, these guys all look fucking evil.Concentration camp commander, he's got a Wikipedia page.There was a lieutenant and the commander, the German occupation of Estonia, the estimatesfor number of Jews killed is widely varied.The Soviet investigators reached the conclusion that two to 3000 were killed, but God knows
35:26they didn't like Jews.So that's probably added zero to all of that, at least.But the number 5000 as determined by extraordinary state commission 1944 was written into verdict.In modern sources, the number is 10,000.Some commentators have also given figures ranging from 100,000 to 125,000 to 300,000.However, such figures contradict the findings in Estonia, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.Alexander Lack was also known to have arranged drunken orgies with inmates.Jesus, he emigrated to Canada after World War II in 1948.
36:011960 was implicated in the Holocaust trials in Soviet Estonia and exposed as living ina naturalized Canadian citizen under the name Alex Lack in Winnipeg, Canada.Okay.Thereafter, after reading of arrests of Jan Vick Ralph Burris from mass killing of mostlyJewish communities while under Nazi justification and being himself identified as a mass murder,he apparently committed suicide by hanging himself in the garage of his home at 53.Israeli journalists claimed that Lack was in fact confronted one day after his wife hadleft their house to go to the movies.
36:43All right.So this indiscriminate website that I have no idea if it's true or not, lines up withhis Wikipedia page.So I'm going to say, I'm going to say this is true, and I want to, is there a book Ican read on this?Who doesn't like a good vengeance story?That's amazing.And just coming up on these fucking creeps, they had to have known when you do some shit
37:07like that.You got every night when you got to be looking that down the driveway, even if you're inthe middle of fucking Winnipeg.But if ever you would ever feel safe, you'd think Winnipeg, I got to go fuck, who thefuck's going to go to Winnipeg?You know, Thunder Bay, Yellowknife, Jesus fucking Christ, man, that's got to be a roughone.Let's say he did that.
37:30Let's just say he killed 2,000 to 3,000 people and forced them half gorgeous.When you're taking your own life, you got to be thinking like, please God, don't letthat be evil.If you said God, you'd believe in it.I'd be like, please don't let that be an afterlife because I am going, I'm going to the basementthere.All right.That's the podcast.
37:49Just checking in on you guys.Thank you to everybody that's listening.By the way, I took over Nia's Snapchat yesterday.I don't know if it's going to disappear by then.I had sort of a good time doing it.I hated the whole fucking thing.I hated how you had 10 seconds to say what the fuck you had to say.That was annoying.
38:08What'd you say?You should do it again.Why should I do it again?Because people love it.You need to get like a feel for it.I think once you get into the feel of it, you'll be really great at it.Yeah.But I mean, I could probably say the same thing about changing a tire, but I don't want to
38:22be a fucking AAA guy, right?That made no sense.Okay.That's it for the checking in on you.Enjoy this little music here, and then we'll give you some greatest hits from Monday morningpodcast gone by.As always, if you'd like to contribute to this podcast, but don't want to spend any money,if you ever go to Amazon going, hey, I think I'm going to go buy myself a craftmatic adjustable
38:45bed, just go buy the Bill Burr website first, billburr.com.Click on the podcast page.There's an Amazon link.Okay.It'll take you right to Amazon.It doesn't cost you any extra money.I just get credit for driving traffic there.Okay.
38:59I appreciate it.If you don't, I understand.Have a great weekend, you cunts, and I'll talk to you on Monday there, all right.Hey, what's up?It's Bill Burr.This is the Monday morning podcast for Monday, August the 18th, and this is my second timerecording this podcast.I did one this morning from Miami International Airport, and there was some sort of tropical
40:58storm, so I don't know what the fuck happened.I babbled for a half an hour.I said, fuck a lot.It was a woman who looked like she was a mother.She was two seats away from me.I felt bad, but I continued to plow through it because it was a good podcast, and thenI went to save it, and the fucking thing didn't save.I don't know what happened.
41:20I think everybody was trying to dial out because it was a tropical storm, which basically means,oh my God, it's raining.No, it's like really raining.It's like seriously raining.It's a fucking tropical storm.I don't know.You know what I mean?I got off the plane, and I saw some news clips of it.
41:44They always show the deepest puddle, you know what I mean?Then they try and act like the whole place is like that.Guys, I'm sitting in my Prius down the street from my apartment right now because I wasgoing to go out and get gas, and then I realized they have a new lot here that you can't drivearound with your fucking cell phone up to your ear or you get a ticket.You know what, I really had an urge to get rims on my car.I don't know if you guys are all familiar with what the Prius looks like.It's basically, it's the fucking greatest car in the world.
42:23I totally recommend it.If you want a point A to point B, you know, if you don't want any whores hanging on you,this is the car.No, I'm seriously mad.It's a fucking great car.The only thing that sucks about it is it has these little breath saver fucking tiresand rims, and it's starting to affect my manhood, you know what I mean?It's just, you know, and this isn't even like, you know, who's got the biggest dick kind
42:54of thing.It's just more of a, you know, you don't want to have training wheels on your car, youknow, for fucking training wheels.So I think I can get 18s on these.Fuck you, it's respectable.It's a hybrid, all right?It's a sequel to whatever you got on your fucking SUV.We need to make sure more of a man, ooh, I got a big fucking truck, like I couldn't afford
43:16that lease.They're giving those things away.I could drive one and a half, I could drive a fucking Suburban right now if I wanted to.I just choose not to.This is a choice, all right?Do you know what I'm saying?It's really affecting, it's affecting my self-esteem.Anyways, if you're new to my page, if you're still on Myspace and you haven't defected
43:41to fucking Facebook, which by the way, I guess when you fill out the information thing overthere, this is the reason why I'm not on it, if you decide to be like, hey, fuck Facebookin the future, they're like, well, hey, fuck you, you can't delete your page.We'll take the page off and we'll keep all the personal information about you and I don'tknow what they're going to do with it and that gets my conspiracy fucking head going.And the funny thing is, is I've never looked at the small print for Myspace, whether theydo the shit too, but I don't know what's going on here.It's all leading towards the microchip in the back of your fucking head, I'm telling
44:19you.But anyways, if you're new to my page, I do one of these every fucking week, sometimestwice a week, if there's a tropical storm in the airport that I'm in, basically lastweek, I worked the improv in Miami, Florida, I had a great time and I got to tell you man,Miami, that's just the town that you're supposed to fucking.I can't even explain it, it's just the hottest fucking women I've ever seen in my life.You know what it is?It's like a city that's moving forward, so it has that energy, but then it also has that
44:57laid back Caribbean vibe and all these fucking hot ass Cuban women walking around, whateverthe fuck you want, it's walking around down there with the fat ass and thick thighs andthe goddamn half a dress on.It's ridiculous.You literally have to rub one out before you leave your fucking apartment for the comedycondo, whatever the hell I was saying, just so you can get to the damn comedy club.So I had a good time down there.I definitely had a good fucking time and I don't know, you know what, I actually quit
45:35drinking when I was down there because I went out Thursday night and I met up with thiscouple who I partied with before and they didn't know that I wasn't drinking whiskeyanymore because as I've said in other podcasts, it's the fucking devil juice, so after theshow they had a Jameson set up for me.And I didn't want to be rude because when you don't accept a drink from people, sometimesthey get a little psycho like that dude in Columbus.You know what I'm talking about?Got the funny bone and fucking freaked out when I wouldn't drink the drink.
46:06Yeah, they get all like, oh, what are you, what are you, you're too big?You're too big now?Oh, you can't drink the fucking drink.I'm not drinking, asshole.Many times I gotta say I appreciate you coming out to my show.Took a picture with you.I signed the fucking CD.I listened to you tell me some stories.
46:23What else do I gotta do?I gotta get inebriated with you.So anyways, that was this dude in Columbus.Had nothing to do with a couple of Miami.So whatever.So they give me a Jameson.I drink the Jameson.Of course, you gotta wash it down with a Budweiser and then they find out the dude manages the
46:38bar and he can get free drinks and then it's fucking on, okay?And I remember going into the bar but I don't remember leaving and I had to do radio thenext day.So I'm just too fucking old to be doing it.So I'm on the wagon.I'm not like fucking going to meetings or anything like, I'm taking a break.You know what I mean?You don't want to get to that point in your life where you're just like, wow, am I in
47:06this room again?Am I really, really the fucking chick with the red wine breath is now breathing?Really?This is happening again.Again.Oh, the guy on coke.This room.I've been in this room.
47:19I hate this room.How many fucking times am I going to walk in here before I realize I, you know, stupid?Stomp, stomp, stomp.All right.Anyways.So anyways, this is the Monday Morning Podcast.I answer questions.I got a new segment on here called Underrated, Overrated that people are really responding
47:40to.And it's basically you just send me your list of stuff that you see in life on televisionand pop culture in your own personal life, and you send me your list of shit that youthink is underrated or overrated.I don't even know how this fucking segment started.It was really organic, which is why I like it.People are actually very rarely even sending me questions anymore.They're just more kind of sending these lists of shit here.
48:10But before I get into that, now that I've already babbled for fucking eight minutes,eight seconds, let me just, let me just whore myself out.Really quickly.If you look at the top of my page, I have a new special coming out called Why Do I DoThis?It's going to be on Comedy Central August 31st at 11 p.m.I got to put that in the graphic.I also filmed a YouTube video hyping the special that should be up on the page later on this
48:35week and up on YouTube.I don't want to tell you what it's called because I don't want to give away the jokeor whatever the whole fucking thing is.I got that going on and I'll be at the Stress Factory in New Jersey on September 29th, 30th,and 31st.I'll be back in the New York area, which means I will be doing the Opian Antony Show radioprogram.It's the best fucking show out there that I really miss doing.
49:05The only fucking thing that I miss about in New York is doing that show and hanging outwith those guys.I'm really psyched.I think I'll be on there Thursday of that week.It's not Thursday and Friday.I have no idea.That's on XM202 for all you punks in the middle of nowhere.All right.
49:22That's it.With that, let's get to the podcast questions.We'll do those first because the underrated, overrated is really fucking long.Let's see.Question.Hey, Bill.Oh, damn.That dude's got that fucking ... Can you hear that?
49:39That's one of those guys who listens to hip-hop and you can't figure out why they listen toit.I have to fuck.I guess I listen to it.But I have the decent seat to put the windows up.You know what I mean?If you're a nerdy-looking white dude like me and you listen to hip-hop, put the fuckingwindows up.
49:52Okay?Because I just looked over and I thought I was going to see 50 cents.And I didn't.I saw it.I guess his name was probably Chris.Actually, wait a minute.Isn't that fucking 50 cents?Really?
50:03What the fuck is his real name?Curtis.Curtis Jackson.Christopher Wallace is biggie small.That should be a trivia question, unlike Jeopardy.I'll take rapper's real names for 200.You know what?I really wish I had a fucking rapper's real name.
50:23I answer to the name Sean Cotter in the fucking early 90s.Who is Jay-Z?Go fuck yourself for 100.All right, here we go.Broadcast questions for the week of August 18th with NF.All right, Bill.I recently discovered the entertainment value of going on to YouTube and doing a searchfor awful comedian or comedian bombing.
50:48They're basically videos where comics are doing 8 to 10 minute sets.They're not getting a single laugh, not even a pity laugh.And my favorite part is seeing how they deal with it.If I were ever to do an open mic and bomb like I know I would, is it better to justignore what you and everyone in the room knows, namely how shitty I am or just play it off?It's no.You have to address it.You have to address it.
51:14That is page one of doing stand-up comedy.Whatever is happening in the room, you have to address it unless it's really small.You know what I mean?If somebody says something or drops a glass or does some bullshit and only like that sectionhears it and you're on a roll, don't address it.Because then you start talking to somebody and the people in the back didn't hear itand then it just, it becomes a clusterfuck.So yeah, if you start bombing, yeah, just address it.
51:42Just say anything.You know?I suck.I knew this was going to suck.I'll never do that joke again.I know how that hurt.I can't feel my pancreas.Whatever you can, you know, just really, you know what?
51:59Go with honesty.Don't do those fucking, those memorized lines.Like, hey buddy, do I go down to the bus station?Oh, that's for heckles.Didn't I answer that last week?Just these fucking things are starting to overlap.All right, yeah.So if you go up on stage and you start bombing, definitely address it.
52:19If you address it, it gives people hope that you're somehow a human being and you're aware.But when you just fucking plow through it, you really can get in trouble.A white crowd, suburban white crowd, they're actually going to feel worse than youand they're going to start staring at the fucking...They can't even look at other people at that table.They're so uncomfortable with that type of shit.You know what I mean?Because they're in that world of fucking smiling.
52:42They're in the Truman Show, you know?The empty pursuit of knickknacks and always acting like,Hi, how are you?Everything's great.So when they actually see a fucking painful moment that they cannot smooth over with an awkward laugh,then they fucking, they just stare at the floor.If you're in front of more of a white trash, redneck crowd, you're going to get heckled.What the fuck's wrong with you, buddy?
53:10Why don't you bring on the next motherfucker?And then you go to DEF CON 5, which is a black crowd.And what I've learned, which I might have mentioned in past podcasts, they're all starting to overlap.I've learned with the black crowd, they're going to have fun with or without you.That's what I learned.So either you bring it and they laugh with you or you don't.And then when you're joke bombs, there's a 1.5 second pause of silenceand then everybody laughs because nobody laughed.
53:41And then whatever, I don't know how many minutes you got left in your set,but it's going to seem like the rest of your life.And I think I just broke out in cold sweats thinking about that.I really had some fucking rough ones.Okay, next question.Bill, here's one for you.When was the last time Bill Burr had to throne the fisticuffs?Had to throne fisticuffs.
54:09When was the last time you fucking learned how to write a sentence?I think he was trying to say, Bill, when was the last time you had to throw fists?Or when was the last time you...What is the proper way to use fisticuffs?We're involved in some fisticuffs.A little Donnie Brooke.This guy sounds like a drunk 60-year-old.He's using fucking phrases from the 1920s.
54:33Alrighty.When was the last time I had to...I don't know.I fucking fought my brother in a red roof in about...I was like 35, so it was five years ago.I didn't fight him.I just tied him up because I'm older and more mature.And I didn't want to do that.
54:49You know what I mean?And before that, I think the last spot I had was with my same brother,probably during the grunge era.It was right as the Smashing Pumpkins had their big breakthrough albumright after that and just before Kurt Cobain killed himself.All right.Underrated, overrated.Let's see.
55:19What do we got here?For this week.All right.Here's this one guy's list.This is his list for underrated.He said the Camaro.It's one badass car.I don't know how the fuck you think a legendary American muscle car like the Camaro is underrated.
55:34I mean, they're fucking bringing it back.That car was the shift from the late 60s right through to like 87, 88.And then it kind of became a joke, you know, the F-body.The only one that I think is underrated is the one from like the late 70s.You know, the smoking, abandoned design, but the Camaro version, not the Trans Am.Remember, and there was three of them.They had the Sport Coupe, the Berlinetta, and the fucking Z28.And the Berlinetta was the middle one.
56:05I think you got a decent engine, but you had these granny fucking wire rims on it.I don't know.All right.More underrated shit.This guy thinks doing an iron cross in gymnastics is underrated.Oh, yeah.I can't tell you how many times I did an iron cross and people were like,whatever, I could fucking do that.
56:23This guy's list is starting off weak, but I like this one.He says, you who is underrated?You know that chocolatey drink?He's like, look at the nutritional facts.It's not bad for you.Who fucking knew?The iron, the umbrella, Doc Martens, a good promotional pen.Ever had a pen from someplace called Gus's bathroom fixtures that lasted you for three years?
56:47Three years and the fucker was free.You know what?Yeah, I got one from a fucking dental office that I've been using for the last six years,but it's on my desk.I type a lot, so I don't know.Email Corey Feldman.The guy thinks Corey Feldman is underrated.And he claims the fucker never made a bad movie.
57:09And to defend that argument, these are the movies he lists.Gremlins, Goonies, Stand By Me, I'll give you that.That's a good one.Lost Boys.First of all, Lost Boys sucks.Okay, Lost Boys was good when it came out and I was fucking 18, 19 years old,but it did not hold up over time.You know what I mean?
57:35With those feathered fucking mullets that everybody had, those things suck.Gremlins and Goonies, I never even saw.Those are kiddie movies.I guess if you're a kid, okay, I'll give you that.They didn't suck, but come on, man.You know what you didn't, what about the one that he ended with,that dream a little dream of me and he did his Michael Jackson soft shoot tap danceat the end of the movie?
57:58That movie sucked and you conveniently did, conveniently did not bring that up.But you know what is overrated is drug use.I saw a thing about him.He only was fucked up for about two years.But it followed him forever.And that's the reason why.Young Guns II, he says.Really?
58:18Have you ever watched the Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, you know, the Magnificent Seven?Have you ever watched a real cowboy movie?Why don't you watch one of those fucking movies and then put on Young Guns II?All right, with fucking Lou Diamond Phillips and Emilio Estevez.Jesus Christ.All right, more underrated stuff from other people, eating at home instead of out.Even if you're eating shit, still more satisfying and cheaper 90% of the time.Guy says sci-fi horror movies from the 70s and 80s.
58:49Okay, what are these?Oh, yeah, Robocop and the Fly before they had all these psycho fucking, all these psychos.Speaking of psycho, I'm literally sitting here in the car, right?And I'm staring at my laptop and two people just walked by looking at me like,what the fuck is this guy's problem?Is he homeless?Is he another struggling actor around here?You know, I didn't do this guy's underrated thing justice here.
59:12He said sci-fi horror movies of the 70s and 80s.Most of the more recent computer effects heavy films of this genre pale in comparisonto intelligently made movies with realistic gore and effects like Robocop and the Fly.Robocop and the Fly with a shit.And I know what you say.You know, in a great example, this isn't sci-fi, but that movie, A Perfect Storm.That movie, the book is unbelievable.The movie sucks.
59:38The whole movie, you're just waiting for the fucking wave and that's it.Other than that, they didn't develop the characters and I didn't give a fuck about anybody in it.And I like George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg and the guy who played the creepy fisherman.I like him too.Was John C. Riley in there?I can't remember.This guy says hand jobs are overrated.There are a lot of factors with sex.
59:59It can often not live up to expectations.I find myself concentrating too hard on enjoying myself during blow jobs.Okay.All right.This isn't Dr. Drew.I'm just breaking your balls, but that was, yeah.I don't know how to make that funny.It's concentrating too hard to enjoy myself.
01:00:21You start making those noises.Did she just want the hand job?You know something?A lot of women out there do not know how to give a fucking hand job.And it's not their fault.The same way there's a lot of women out there sitting there like,ah, my guy really doesn't know how to go down on me.That's not his fault.
01:00:40You got to communicate.So, you know, teach a girl how to rub one out.Oh, God, what am I talking about?You know what I got the windows up because I'm cursing and it's starting to get fucking hot in here.Maybe it was that last suggestion.All right.Seltzer water is a beverage of God's.Think about it.
01:01:00It is water, but it's kind of like soda.You know what?I'm not going to think about it.Oh, that's right.You get something in your clothes and it takes the stain off.I don't fucking know.Popeyes is overrated, underrated, up to right citizens brigade.I never watched that show.
01:01:16If you just see a show and you just don't want to watch it,you can't even figure out why.It was one of those shows.It's kind of like Tim Allen, Tool Time.The second I saw the set, the second I saw the couch on that show,I was just like, I don't want to watch this.I have no idea whether that's a good show or a bad show.I have no fucking clue.
01:01:36All right, let's get into overrated because these things are really getting longand I feel like I'm just reading now and this isn't even funny.All right, overrated, Broadway musicals, techno music, Japanese baseball players.Dude, that's fucking great.Whoever wrote that, that's great.They are overrated.Hideki Matsui, remember when he first came over here?What were they saying?
01:01:58Godzilla.Like he was going to hit 800 fucking home runs.He is definitely a fundamentally sound player, but, you know, I mean, he's good,but he was supposed to be the best Japanese player available at the time.He's definitely the best Hideki who ever played in the leaguebecause you remember the other one the Yankees had, remember that?Hideki Urabu came over here.He came over here.
01:02:28Who's the fat one?Laurel Hardy.He looks like the Japanese version of the fat one.He just, he had the magnets on his wrist.He fucking stunk.All those fucking Yankee fans had those rising sun fucking bandanas on their headslike he was going to keep the, well, I guess they kept the dynasty going anyways,but he sure is happy.
01:02:49Did he get a ring?Does anybody know?Could somebody answer that whether he got a ring or not?Who else is an Ichiro?Well, there wasn't a lot of hype with Ichiro, but he is a Japanese baseball player.He's the shit.But that other guy, Kaz Matsui, I mean, you know, he bleach blonde his hair.He ended up looking like that guy always wins that Nathan's hot dog eating contest.
01:03:11All right.All right.All right.I'm being a dick now.All right.Blackberry phones, modern art, someone said is overrated.Yeah.I'd have to say it's overrated too.
01:03:20I don't like looking at something.I got to figure out what the fuck it is.You know what I mean?I get it on a certain level, but it's a lot of times it's like, dude, you just sortof threw a bunch of paint on there.On-demand television is overrated because the shit hardly ever works.Jesus Christ.It's one of the truest things I ever heard.
01:03:40I got to agree with that one.I have really bad cable.Mexican restaurants.It's eating fast food with silverware.You know what?That's fucked up.I got to say that's fucked up.You know why?
01:03:54Because there's too many Mexican restaurants out there owned by white people.And there's something about Mexican food that you just, I don't know, you just throw abunch of cheese on it and you use those fucking, whatever they are, the fucking the round things.And if you know how to roll it up, people can just say it's Mexican food.Taco Bell ruined Mexican food.There has to be some good Mexican restaurants out there.You can't fucking shit on an entire country's food like nobody in Mexico knows how to cook.Oh, dude, speaking of that, on the flight back from Miami, there was two Italian guys literally
01:04:29from Italy who were such so fucking loud it made me never want to go to Italy.And I've always wanted to be there.I've always wanted to go there.They would like characters from a movie.They were speaking Italian as loud as you could.The whole fucking flight.And one of these fat fucking bastards, the other guy was skinny, the other guy was fat, right?Speaking of Lauren Hardy, he kept hitting the woman's chair next to me.
01:04:58He had his foot up in between the window and her seat at one point.You know, you ever just want to be like, invade someone's body so they'll do what you want them to do?Kind of like whoopie, goldberg and ghost.That's what I wanted to do.Somehow morph into her body and then take a pen and just stab that guy right in the bottom of his fucking foot.You fucking dick.What a flingy-skinned fucking walking around.He just looked like a big spoiled brat.
01:05:27I'm not saying all Italians will like this, okay?But this guy, you know, he's like a fucking mama's boy.He just tell, he just got everything he wanted in life, you know?He wanted another meatball and they fucking gave it to him and that's why he's a fat bastard.And that's why he has to stand up during the flight and fucking lean on the chair.At one point, he was diagonally behind me and he's fucking leaning over our fucking row.Like he just ran a marathon or he's fucking ran suicide, starting to make a hoop team, right?So his fucking hand is in my side and I literally fucking elbowed his hand.
01:06:05I just, you know, I don't know if that broke some sort of 9-11.Are you a terrorist fucking code?But it's just...I always wanted to go to Italy.I know I still do, but right now I don't.I really don't.Speaking of great food.Telling food could never, ever, ever, ever be overrated.
01:06:26It's the best fucking food out there and their wine's insane.Do you have that Barolo?That's what it's called, that red wine.It's fucking insane.70, 75 bucks, you know?Go out, get a bottle, you know, and just have a glass.Don't be a douche.Don't fucking start swinging it like a pirate, okay?
01:06:43It's a fucking great wine.All right, moving on here.Oh, here's a white wine.White wine's overrated.This is his reason.White wine, and then in parentheses, it just says, shit sucks.I like that.That's not alliteration, is it?
01:07:01It's just, I don't know.White wine, yeah, it is.White wine, shit sucks.Two syllables, two syllables.That's like a full house of fucking grammar.Or two pair, anyways.All right, cats.Cats are overrated.
01:07:13They have no right to be classed anywhere near a dog.Home theater surround sound.It's cool for about two months, and then it's a pain in the ass.Let me tell you something.I forget who wrote this shit, but you know what?This person is onto some stuff.Surround sound does suck.Remember when you got it, right?
01:07:31And you had to fucking figure out how to run the wires down along the wall,and then behind your couch without any company seeing it.Then you had that.Then a year later, they came up with a wireless shit,and you got to somehow drill a hole in your fucking wall.And then, you know what I mean?Then it's just too fucking loud.You got literally IMAX sound in a fucking 30 square foot room.
01:07:53At least I did.One bedroom apartment.Oh, here's one.This one might set off some people here.Somebody said Oliver Stone is overrated.Guy makes horrible movies.Natural Born Killers, Scarface, Any Given Sunday.Only good one he ever made was People vs. Larry Flint.
01:08:11Alright, you might get some people arguing on that one.I thought Brian De Palma did Scarface.Did Oliver Stone write it or something?I wasn't a fan of Natural Born Killers.I didn't like how it reminded me of Madonna.You're like, oh my god, Madonna is so fucking cheesy.She stinks, and then she has the out of like,no, it's supposed to be cheesy.
01:08:35I'm mocking pop music, you know, that type of shit.I thought Natural Born Killers was like that.It's like, I got it.I got it within the first five minutes.I got it.I was over it.And then the whole defense of the movie is like, that's the point, man.It's less cheesy.
01:08:49It's violent.You don't even have reaction to it.It's like you're immune to it.No dude, that movie sucked.There was some great performances, but all those fucking edits,it was fucking ridiculous.It was like, it's like one of those SNL movies where they just,it's a sketch and they stretch it out into a movie.
01:09:06That's when I felt Natural Born Killers was like, you know,I got it.I got it.I got it.And you're still doing it.There's one note.All right, last couple, and then we're going to wrap this up.Kanye West.
01:09:18He said, I like two songs, but he seems way too cockyand overplayed on the radio and TV.Kind of seems like you just don't like Kanye.Tupac.Just because he's dead doesn't mean that he was great.He had about five good songs out of 10 million.You know what?I'm going to have to agree with that.
01:09:39I never, I never, you know what it's about Tupac?He fucking, he never switched up the way he phrased his shitor his flow or whatever the fuck you're supposed to say.Every song was the same cadence.Yeah.And I think I'm going to die.Everything was in the concrete.It was a single mother.
01:10:01And I think I'm going to die.It's fucking terrible.You know what it was about that guy?He had like those fucking, he had those adopted dog,big brown fucking eyeballs.You know when Sarah McLaughlin sings that song?Yeah, he had that fucking face, so everybody liked himand then he wrote a bunch of shit on his stomach.
01:10:27And then he had his cadence and he fucking,he was more of a hypnotist.I feel like Biggie way better.There we go.That ought to start a fucking debate.Who do you like better?You know what?Why don't you guys send me something?
01:10:43You know, the band that's getting all the attentionand the person you think should be.You know what I mean?And don't say Nickelback because everybody picks on them.We all know they're, I don't know if they suck, they're just annoying.All right.The last few here, overrated, iPhones, organic produce,lawns, breasts, and religion.
01:11:05Organic produce, I like that one.Because I buy that shit and it's fucking expensiveand I don't feel a whole lot better.I think that might be it.Oh, one guy had, one guy had, was fucking annoyedabout the tattoo comment that I made last weekabout those, you know, those sleeves people get.You know, I like seeing like one cool tattoo
01:11:27surrounded by a bunch of skinso I can see what the fuck it is.You know what I mean?As opposed to, you know, it just looks like somebody scribbledall over somebody's fucking arm.Then what happens is you're fucking looking at the guy's armtrying to figure out what it is.Then he starts thinking you're looking at him
01:11:45and then you're in a fucking situation.You know, it's like, dude, well, maybe if you didn't have fuckingrhyme with the ancient mariner on your goddamn elbow,I wouldn't have to look at you so fucking long.But anyways, this is what this guy says.He says, okay, I have to chime inon the tattoo sleeve topic on this week's podcast.I agree that there are a lot of paper gangsters.
01:12:03I don't want, I guess, phony peopleare out there getting ink done lately,but usually it's something queerlike a barbed wire armbandor some tribal ass shitor some gay ass cartoon.It's fucking dumb.All right, just to stop this paragraph for a second
01:12:20and do a little history of tattoosthat I've noticed, the hacky tattoo to getinto the 70s was the barbed wire armband.Even Pamela Anderson has itor the fucking date rapist, frat boy, tribal fucking one.But the gay ass cartoon one,that was more of a late 70s.That was like a 70s...
01:12:41What was that pot thing?Everybody was into the 70s.Zippy or some shit?What the fuck was that guy?Somebody was here?Or was that World War II?I don't know.But back then, yeah, like I worked in a warehouse
01:12:54in the fucking 80sand he had Yosemite Samyo sent to me.I can't say that word.How do you say that word?Yosemite.I just try to say it fast.If you have a word, you can't say it,
01:13:05so you just try to say it fast.That's what I do with that.Yosemite Samon his fucking...He had it basically on his legjust to the right of his ball bag.And I know what you're thinking, Bill.Like, what were you blowing the guy?
01:13:21How the fuck did you see that?Here's my defense.It was the 80s, okay?And he was wearing Larry Bird-level shorts.Fucking grape smugglers.And someone was thinking about itgetting a tattoo.And he was like,
01:13:36well, you got a tattooand he fucking lifts his fucking...And even back then,we're looking at it, okay?Well, you got Daffy Duck on your ass,cheek, you fucking idiot.All right, let me finish readingthis guy's complaint.
01:13:49Okay, that being said,there was a lot of hardcore TAT peopleout there with nice-looking sleevesand not some shit just thrown together.Okay, well, you know what?That's a decent pointbecause there's a ton of peopledoing stand-up
01:14:02who just have jokes thrown together.I guess, okay, I get it.All right.But he said,I was trying to get picsof my sleeve and my leg,but my space wouldn't let me upload it.But anyways,
01:14:13I hate how everyone's getting tattoos,but if you're someonewho keeps count of your TATs,you're a fucking fagwho sticks with a hen attempt tattoo.Hey, man, I got four tattoosthe size of a fucking quarter,fucking pussies.
01:14:30This guy's getting angrytowards the end of this.I think I gotta finish this.The best is when they try to act toughand out the pounce,oh, and show off the pint-sized TATin your facelike they're all tough now
01:14:42because they cried for five minuteswhile the guy did the work.There's one other reasonwhy I don't read all these fucking thingsis because I'm not good at reading out loud,and people aren't goodat putting together sentences.Anyways, that being said,
01:14:57not all ink is overrated.Just the fags who getthe My Little Pony on their ass cheeks.Dot, dot, dot, dot.Fuck.Okay.A little wordy,but I get your point.
01:15:09All right.Well, there you go.That's this week's podcastfor the second fucking time.Thanks to everybodywho's been adding these questionsand stuff like that.Send me questions
01:15:20and add them to the podcast.And the underrated, overrated,all that type of stuff.It's all going good.Please let people knowabout my special on August 31st.And please come backand check out my page
01:15:31because hopefully the next 24 hours,my new video clip,Hype and My Special,I kind of went outand just did some random shitto try and hype it.I put it up on YouTube,but it's going to be up on my page.
01:15:43And I'm going to have to doa couple of those other videosjust because it's taking too longto load my page,some people are telling me.So I think I'm going to haveto get rid of some of the oldand bring in the new.
01:15:54And with that,I just hit power on my fucking Prius here.You hear that?You're quiet, that is.I'm in drive right now.Just turned on the lights.Isn't this exciting?All right.
01:16:08You guys have a good weekand I will talk to you next week.That is it.All right.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.
01:18:47Yeah.
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