Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-8-24

Episode Date: August 8, 2024

Bill rambles about going to see 'Sorcerer', joining the cast of Glengarry Glen Ross, and the Vatican. (00:00) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast (37:53) - Thursday Afternoon Throwback 8-8-24 Bill rambles about performing in England, afternoon shows, and The Real Fast N Loud Arabs of London. Thursday Afternoon Interlude:  Smooth Jazz Allstars - On Broadway (George Benson Cover) Zip Recruiter:  Try for free at www.ZipRecruiter.com/BURR Liquid Death:  Go to www.liquiddeath.com/BURR to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer. Hims:  Start free trial at www.Hims.com/BURR  Indochino:  Customize your summer style with Indochino at www.Indochino.com/BURR to get 10% off any purchase of $399 or more.

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move and download Monopoly Go. Now free for the App Store and Google Play. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Thursday afternoon. Just before Friday, Monday morning podcast and I'm just checking in. can't get in are you? Just checking in on you. Oh, I am in a great fucking mood. I Finished editing I got one more day on my stand-up special the hardest thing The hardest thing in this business for whatever reason Poor moi is to edit those fucking things.

It's weird. It's really weird, dude, because if I just film, I was telling somebody over there, I was like, you know, if I just filmed myself, you know, doing an hour long set, and if there was, you know, and it was, if it was just for me, it was just for me, I would have no problem sitting down, looking at it, watching the jokes,

figuring out what I got to do better, whatever. But when it's a special and then I know everybody's going to see it, then I just obsessed over everything and I fucking hate everything about it. So I spent four hours on it yesterday, getting it right. And then today we're just gonna tighten the whole thing up and then I will be well then we got a color correct and fucking make mix the sound and all of that shit but uh once it's locked then you're kind of running downhill so I feel great also if they've been watching

any of the baseball there, the Red Sox have been winning, but we're winning against garbage. You know, no offense to the Seattle Mariners, no offense to the Kansas City Royals, although they did beat us last night 8-4. You know, I would have felt better coming out of the All-Star break if we played better against the Dodgers and the Yankees. Um, and don't look now, as they say, the New York Yankees have surpassed the Baltimore Orioles. They are in first fucking place. And, uh, we're a half game back in the wild card.

I don't know about after last night after losing, but I haven't watched my beloved Red Sox in a couple of weeks. I fucking love this team. You know, they're a very exciting team because they are so close to being great. And every time you think they turn the corner, you know, some bullshit happens. So there's a lot of drama. It's very much like watching a movie, you know, where except, you know, and a lot of times in movies I get like frustrated, you know, where, um, you know, where they just keep creating another obstacle and everything. I get frustrated sometimes as a moviegoer just being like, just fucking, you know, how many times can

Freddy Krueger get back up again? Just fucking kill the guy You're gonna build this tension all over again it drives me nuts. I actually went and I saw a movie Last night I call it the Tarantino. It's the Vista He owns a couple of old theaters out here. I mean my friends just call it the Tarantino You want to go to the Tarantino and go see whatever? So we went to go see Roy Scheider in Sorcerer, I believe was the name of it. I'd never heard of the movie. Didn't even know the name of the movie or what it was about. My buddy's like, you gotta see this. It's fucking amazing. And it was amazing. It's from the same director. I'm not gonna fucking try and butcher the guy's name.

He passed away last year. Jesus Christ. You know what? I'm gonna look it up. Because he did too many legendary films. Hang on. Just, you know, everybody just sort of busy yourselves. William Friedkin? Friedkin? Yeah! And what was cool is you go to that Tarantino theater

and like he shows first of all he showed a Roadrunner Coyote cartoon first and I'm going to say it's one of the best ones because you know it's the usual Coyote falling off the cliff it's the earlier ones where the animation doesn't get cheap and then also I just feel like when he goes through the whole water drain and everything that's like some of the best animation they did and Then he played like he had two movie theater trailers

Before the feature they were both they were both movies by William Friedkin Friedkin, I don't know how to say it. Friedkin I'm gonna say and You can tell him a sports fan I'm butchering all of this. The first one was the French Connection and the other one was Cruisin' with Al Pacino and both trailers were just fucking incredible. So then you get into the movie and I was thinking maybe this was pre-Jaws. I have no idea. It was actually post-Jaws. It was two years after Jaws came out and It looked like it must have been a brutal shoot in the rain in the jungle. I don't know where the fuck they shot this thing

but It's just one of the it reminded me of Like the Dirty Dozen Papillon and reminded me of like the dirty dozen Papillon and Midnight Express all at the same time, like all into one fucking movie. It was fantastic. And it's the thing that I love most about going to either one of Tarantino's theaters

is every single time it's an amazing movie. Can you say that at AMC? No, you cannot. Can you say that at AMC? No, you cannot. Can you say that at Lowe's? Can you say that at Showcase Cinema? I don't think you can. You know, I've been thinking about, you know, I got a couple of ideas, you know,

for that cinema that I want, that movie house I went to down in Gardena I Had such a good time doing stand-up down there. I'm definitely gonna do something else I don't know what down at that venue because it works both obviously To show as a movie theater and it also works as a place to do live performance So I'm definitely gonna think of something else You know another stand-up show host a movie night or do a live podcast, something, um,

that's going to be, uh, something that I'm going to do. Cause I learned a lot that night when I was down there, you know, it was such a great night for everyone involved. And, um, you know, I learned something that night where I'm like, we all sit around and we fucking talk about how this country's going to hell and da da da da da. And all we do is blame politicians when we can actually as citizens be out here

looking out for each other, helping each other out however we can and we can really sort of cushion the blow of these corrupt cunts that are just on their knees blowing corporations. All right. And with that, let's move on with the podcast. I got some amazing, amazing news that I need to announce this week. In my driveway today, my son rode a bike. I just had the greatest morning with my kids.

We go out, you know, they mess around on my drum kit. My daughter loves doing pull ups. She's into that ninja kid warrior show. And then my son has been like, you know, on a balance bike, which those things are just friggin genius. I remember when I first, when somebody gave me one me when I'm like where the fuck are the pedals? Why are they always trying to fix everything it was fine? There was nothing wrong with the bike, and it's like no It's genius you teach them how to ride first

You know balance and then they get that down and then like when they go to add the pedals It's very simple. It's the same thing like when you learn how to fly a helicopter They don't give you all three controls at the same time. Your instructor holds a hover and then the first thing he does, I believe, is he gives you the collective, which just moves it up and down, the emergency brake there. So you kind of get used to that. You know, your inputs are usually too aggressive at first. So you learn how to be like nice with that. And then he goes and then he gets you on the pedals yeah you bring the nose over to the left bring the nose over to the right the da da da da da they might even

do the cyclic first because that's when you like learn how to hold a hover that's like that takes about the average person anywhere from 8 to 10 hours to learn how to do that and And it's the weirdest thing once you get it. It's like riding a bike. Like you can't quite understand. Like how do I just know how to do this? And I never forget how to do this. Like sometimes like now when I fly like I'm doing things and it's just if I think about it I have to be like wait how do I do this? But if I don't think it just it's just your whole body just kind of takes up.

So anyway, then what they do is then they add then you got like you're on the cyclic and the collective and then the collective and the pedals cyclic and the pedals. They just do that. And then one day they add all three and the balance bikes the same way. Let's just get you to, you know, to learn how to push off first. And then you add the balance and then you add the pedals. And this kid today, I swear to God, you should have seen his face.

Seeing a kid's face the first time they ride the bike, the only thing bigger than that grin is the parent that just taught him. Cause I was jumping up and down. Like remember back in the day when, I'm gonna say Ed Asner, Ed McMahon would come to the house with the giant check and say you won the Publishers Clearinghouse and there'd be some you know mom at home. That's what I

was doing. I was jumping up and down and just going nuts, you know, I yell back at the house. I'm like, yeah, come on and look at this. And then she was super excited. And, uh, you know, that's all kids want to do. They just want to please the parents and get them all excited when they're not like ripping apart the house. So, um, yeah, it was the best. And then we came and we went over to the yard and we played home run derby and

they're both hitting from, you know, from both sides of the plate. And, uh, it's just the best, just the best. So, um, and I taught my daughter how to tire shoes this week and how to, uh, also, uh, my son's bike needed air in the tires so I taught her how to do that and that's a huge I think that's a huge thing is is teaching kids so they learn they know how to do shit like that just it's so funny at their age like knowing how to do shit gives them a self-esteem like can you hit a ball can you tie your shoes can youesteem. Like, can you hit a ball?

Can you tie your shoes? Can you whistle? Can you snap? Can you swim? Can you ride a bike? The more yeses you have, the better. And that's why these poor kids whose parents, I don't know, if they get career-minded or self-involved,

they don't know how to do shit. So they're not getting love and then they go to school and kids asking those questions and most of the answers are no. And then they fucking, you know, get a worst feeling about themselves. And next thing you know, they're listening to that goth goddamn music, hanging out down at the bowling alley. Sorry. I was going old person there so anyway fucking awesome morning and yeah dog days of summer some of the my favorite baseball football starting up I don't know it's all I'm on the other side of my special it It's all fucking good.

So now my big thing is I gotta make sure that I just don't start filling up my days because I'm gonna be getting busy soon to start a next year. Some of you who are on the internet, special announcement today. Glengarry Glenross to return to Broadway Spring 2025 starring Emmy award-winning and SAG award winner Kieran Culkin, Emmy award

winner and SAG award winner Bob Odenkirk, Emmy award and Grammy Award nominee Bill Burr, huh? Look at that and Tony Award and Olivier Award winner Patrick Marver Jesus Christ, I'm gonna get killed in this Everybody's got a Super Bowl ring to direct Dave Mamet's Pulitzer Prize and Tony Award winning play in an all-new production. Oh, Billy Broadway as somebody called me on the on the internet. So I'm going to be, you know, I'm gonna be spending some time in New York. So I gotta, speaking of that, I gotta balance the time with the family here. So the family out west. So

making sure that, you know, I'm staying off the road, hanging out, and then my wife's the best. She's the most excited. She's more excited than I am that I'm getting to do this. And then she's also like, don't worry, we're gonna work it out, we're gonna figure it out. So just gonna figure out how to have the kids out there as much as possible. And yeah, and this is gonna happen, which is, this is something I'll be honest with you I always wanted to do it

I always thought it would be an amazing experience and It was so funny like three years ago. I remember just thinking well I guess that's never gonna happen and I was like kind of bummed out. I was just like yeah Boohoo, I get to tell jokes You know and I was just like, yeah, boohoo. I get to tell jokes, you know, and fucking live my dream. Boohoo. I don't get to do everything. Who cares?

And I just let go of it. And the second I let go of it, like a year or two later, hey, you want to do it? I'm like, yes. So there you go. There you go. I got that coming up and that's going to be an amazing experience and I get to be in New York City. You know, for, I mean, that's going to be the longest I've been in New York since I left way back in the 2000s.

And, you know, I got all my favorite coffee spots out there and all of that. So I'm already like mentally working it out here. Hey, work it out. Like how I'm going to exist when I'm there, deal with loneliness of my family, not being there the whole time. Um, I'm just going to fucking, uh, I don't know what, I'm just going to go to the gym. That's what I'm going to do. Just go to the gym. So, um, I don't know when tickets go on sale, but if you guys want to see, uh, old twinkle

toes on Broadway, I think we're going to start up in March. It's an absolutely murderers row of a cast that I get to be a small part of. So thank you to everybody involved for working that out. So there you go. There you go. And with that, and with that, I flew the other day and I flew over Ojai, which I'd never done before. I want to take a look at it because I went to a wedding up there a year or so ago and

I loved the place and there's a little amphitheater up there that I want to play so I went and fly up there and go take a look at it. Of course I couldn't find it. I forgot where it was. I'd looked at it on the map a couple of months, no a couple weeks earlier so far. I forgot where it was at but I kind of flew up there and what sucks, the only thing that sucks about Ojai is there's no place to land. They have no airport, they have no helipad, because that's one of those places, you know, during the week, you know, drop the kids off at school. I mean, I can get up there in like a half an hour, right?

Wife goes down Main Street, you know, window shops, we have a good time, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And there's no place, there's plenty of places to land. You just need permission, right? So I did that fly and went up to there and then I flew over to, uh, Agua Dulce, which is, uh, this uncontrolled airport where they shot some of Ford versus Ferrari. Um, and what's funny off the runway, the little thing that they built for the pit,

you know, for the pit crew and everything, you now can kind of use as like a little helipad to come in and land on. So that's pretty cool. So that's pretty cool. So I got that going on. Um, what else? There was something else that happened to me this week. I don't know. I haven't been watching the news, so I'm feeling pretty fucking good. Um, yeah, good. Yeah, I put on a little bit of weight over the fucking stupid vacation. So now I got to like, you know, you know, it's, I don't know what it is,

but if I start the day with a parfait, all right, if I start the day with a parfait, like my stomach looks all right, you know, I got to stay away from the bread and everything, but like, feels there's something about a parfait. I don't know what it is. You know, I gotta stay away from the bread and everything, but I feel there's something about a parfait, I don't know what it is. You know, if I just have two eggs over age with bacon and no bread, no hash browns, no fun, it's fucking unreal. You know? How you have to baby yourself as you get older like a fucking

old car. You know how you have to baby yourself as you get older like a fucking old car You know, I Told you my daughter got on me about my cigar smoke when she goes dad stop. It's not good for you And I was like, all right So I'm nine days into that and I'm like, all right This is good, you know being healthy Why is being healthy so fucking boring? you know, being healthy. Why is being healthy so fucking boring? You know, and then you talk to people who are like straight edge and all of that. And it's just like, all they do is tell you how happy they are and all of this stuff about their life and everything.

And you just sit in there thinking in your head like, well, if you were so fucking happy, why would you have to sit here and convince me all the time about how happy you are with your boring ass fucking life. And then meanwhile, you know, anybody doing heroin, you never hear them talking about how fun it is. They're just having fun. You know, they're not over there going like, dude, I got to tell you, when I'm nodding off and just flying through the fucking universe, standing on a street corner with no jacket in the middle of January as everybody else is freezing their ass off and I'm fucking sitting here, you don't know what you're

missing. You know, nobody on heroin tries to tell you, convince you that that's a better fucking life, but these goddamn health nuts. They won't shut up about it Um Speaking of which I have a new philosophy on the lord Um There was some scientist and anytime there's some scientists just talking about like how Insignificant human beings are in the universe All of these religious nuts have to get in and be like well that's the thing that actually makes me feel special it's like yeah it's called being

a fucking egomaniac you're a fucking egomaniac no matter how much information scientists give actual fucking proof of how infinite the fucking universe is to sit there as a fucking human being and think that the person that created you is monitoring every fucking goddamn thing you're doing 7 billion people all at the same time la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Gammering and he's somehow paying attention to all of that shit This is what I think. All right, I Think God is an artist and I think he created the earth and this little solar system that we're in and Then he just moved on to the next canvas and he made another one and he keeps making another one and he keeps making another one and he's never going to stop because I also think that he suffers from depression and in order to stay ahead of it he just keeps creating new stuff new works and all of that and he's anything in the rearview mirror he has left behind.

All right. Have you ever wondered why Jesus didn't come back? I think he was about to come back and then they saw the Godfather part three and then they said we're not stepping into that puddle of shit. All right God was the burning bush. That was Godfather part one. And then Godfather two, I would say Jesus took it to the next level. You know, walking on water, doing a little evil, Knievel there, right? Without a motorcycle, you know, endless basket of bread,

2000 years before the fucking Olive Garden and fish and fish Right like when the mob ran Vegas you can get a fucking two dollar steak before the corporate cunts took it over And then they always been he's coming back He's gonna do the next one remember when like Star Wars came back it finally fucking came back and then all the nerds Were so disappointed with Jar Jar Binks, which is fucking hilarious because they had no problem with Ewoks. But then 15 years goes by and then they can't stand Jar Jar Binks and they thought it was Jar Jar Binks.

I can't stand that name. J squared Binks, right? Double J, Triple J Jackson. They blamed that character. It's like, no, no, Triple J Jackson. They blamed that character. It's like, no, no, you're 40. That's what happened. You're in your 30s. The last time you watched this,

you were like fucking eight or nine years old. All right? I love the Muppets take Manhattan. Am I gonna sit around and watch Sesame Street at 56? I'm not. Am I gonna get mad at Sesame Street? Because they finally say Bert and Ernie are gay? I don't give a fuck. I like how that was like a big step forward for homosexuality. I don't think it was. All right. I think what when Bert and Ernie finally came out, they should have dressed a little better.

Or is it because when Bert and Ernie first you know came of age and there was the Andy Warhol period. So I think that they were more they look more conservative gay like in the suburbs They don't like look like metropolitan gay if in fact they are You know what I mean you do have to give it up for Burt for having the fucking high top fade before fucking anybody right, and then Ernie was Ernie sort of light on what he is. I Feel like Burt was out before Ernie was Ernie sort of light on what he is. I Feel like Burt was out before Ernie And Ernie showed up. He's kind of being silly and then Burt kind of came up to him being like a buddy

Yeah, you know, I got an extra room in the house You know All right, I don't know I don't know where this podcast is right now, but that's my thing now. I don't think, I can totally believe that this, you know, somewhere else that you go or maybe you just re-fertilize the earth, I have no idea what it is, and I have no problem thinking that something made all of this. All right. But to think that is big as the universe is that it's paying attention to what you're doing in your personal life.

I just think it's all bullshit. And you know how, you know, it's fucking bullshit is if you look at the top of my religion The Vatican and you look how those people are living their lives. Do they seem like they are even remotely concerned About judgment at the end of their life Every day just sitting there they covered up all of that all of that pedophilia They got a whole basement full of stolen goods Enough to put them on all all in jail for like then that way thou shalt not steal You know, maybe they should have had an 11th commandment thou shall not fuck a kid

Maybe because they didn't write that down because it was common sense, but me they don't seem like they're worried about it that down because it was common sense. But they don't seem like they're worried about it. And all these politicians said, God bless the United States of America. Even that right there. I love that. God loves everybody. You know, God created all of us. We're all the fucking say, buddy, fucking bless our little track of fucking lid fuck everybody else right God And then within that land there's all these different levels like fucking boarding and fucking Delta Airlines flight Race class sexuality all of that the whole fucking thing like how you can just sit there You know I think it's easy as a white person to sit there and be spoon fed that if you're

dumb because it's kind of saying that, you know, that you're the best and God is white and you're white and he made you in his image. He likes these other people, but he likes you the best, which is a through line though. You know, I think in the Jewish religion, they're considered the chosen one. Muslims were the chosen ones, Catholics, you know, gee, we're the fucking day. Everybody's the fucking chosen one. Everyone's the chosen one. And meanwhile, you live on this fucking earth. It's all going to fucking hell. Nobody's, oh, this is getting dark. Nobody's showing up. He's moved on. He's onto another canvas. Like I feel like earth is in the back of his studio behind like a bunch of shit

that he has on the floor. And then when you die and you show up, it's just like, yeah, if somebody be like, Hey man, you remember that time we fucking did this? And you're like, no, I don't think that was me. And they're like, No, that was you. You were there. You're like, What was I? I mean, I don't remember. You don't remember that? No, I don't. Dude, dude, it was fucking hilarious. You're like, Yeah, I haven't thought. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's right. Oh, yeah, I do remember. I think that's how God looks at Earth. Obviously you don't have to agree with me, but I definitely I think that he suffers from a little bit of

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That's my favorite one. It tastes fucking delicious After years of drinking water in a plastic bottle, it tastes like shit. It's been in a fucking warehouse for years. It's actually bad for you. And then they don't recycle the bottles. It ends up in the ocean, and some octopus has to fucking deal with it.

Or you can drink liquid death, and maybe they recycle it. Or maybe it ends up in the ocean. But you know, it's not like you know it's organic talk about death dust electrolyte drink miss how it tastes I haven't tried it your favorite I'm not talking about in this shit I mean I invested in the company isn't that or not talk about how fun is drink out in public when people think it's a beer yeah every, every Uber driver is like, you can't drink that in here. I'm like, no, it's actually water.

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Dot-com with the code burr burr all capital letters All right, and with that that is the podcast for the fucking day. Oh Billy fucking gym shoes Oh day, Oh, Billy fucking gym shoes. Oh, Billy fanny pack is going to go to the gym. Oh, Billy tank top. Oh, Billy tank top. I'm going to win that bet with Paul Verzi about being able to do 10 pullups. When I'm 70, this guy fucking show me, this is how you get stronger doing pullups.

You, you, you build up the strength where you can have your legs straight out in front of you and then you only do your pull ups that way. And your number is going to drop significantly, but as your, your number increases, like if you could do six or seven, those with your legs out, you can bang out 10 with your legs hanging straight down. Um, that's what I've learned and I'm sticking to it. All right.

That's my message and I'm sticking to it. All right. So that is it. Oh, also, also Dean Del Ray is going to be doing a show with me in Nashville, Tennessee at the cavern. I think it's called this guy fucking hollowed out part of a mountain and built this amazing venue in there I'm so excited to play it I'm gonna do some time and then afterward Dean Del Rey is gonna be doing his full set making a special

I'm gonna be hanging out saying hello to fans afterwards It's gonna be fucking awesome, and I believe that's gonna be on September 8th or 9th. I posted about it I'll continue to post about it hope to see you there and If you saw me when I came through In Nashville just know that I'm gonna have all new shit I'm not saying it's gonna be great shit, but when I came through one the hell it was it I don't know June May April whatever. I'm gonna have a new at least 45 then I'm gonna be doing. I'll be fucking around. I'm gonna be having a great goddamn time and

I love Tennessee. It's one of my favorite states. It's absolutely fucking gorgeous Gorgeous state. The eastern part of that state when you get to Knoxville Appalachian Mountains, and then you drive down into like the Carolinas. It's just, it's, I don't even know what, it's just one of the most beautiful parts of the country. So I love going there. Any chance I get. Um, I'm hoping there's a college football game out there. Maybe Vanderbilt, because I've already seen the volunteers. Maybe Vandy's got a game that weekend I can come in the Saturday who knows who knows who knows all right that's it that's the podcast enjoy the music picked out by Andrew Thamelis and then we have a bonus episode of the Thursday

afternoon just before Friday podcast that's it have a great weekend you cunts and that is all go Red Sox I'll see ya later Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, August 8th, 2016. Let me move close to the mic there. Try not to have it on my chest so you don't listen to me breathing. I know it's been an issue the last couple of podcasts, but like I said, I'm out here on the road and the little mixer that I use as a piece of shit and even if I have an adapter for some reason it seems to blow up.

It probably didn't, I probably plugged it into the wall and I fucked up, but who knows. So, I am in, as an American would say, Edinburgh, I don't know how the fuck they say in Scotland. I just did a show, believe it or not, at like a quarter to four in the afternoon out here. I have shows at 3.45 and 11.30. I don't know why.

I thought it was because I signed on late to the festival. I have no idea. But I gotta tell you, man, it was a fucking great time. It was a great time. Look at that, I just got a message here. All right. Let me shut this fucking thing off. All right, so anyway, so yeah, I just did a show.

I gotta tell you, I loved it. I'm sitting there the whole time going over there being this cranky fucking little showgirl, right? I was in Amsterdam last night, which is a great show. So today I'm flying. I land, I get to the fucking hotel. Hotel isn't ready, you know, as always. That's how my travel always gets put together.

They never let me sleep that extra hour and a half. They're always like, let's get him up and get him to the next fucking city. God forbid he misses the show. And then you always get, I always end up landing before the fucking room's ready. And I know what you're thinking. Well, Bill, why don't you have you or somebody call ahead

and ask for an early check-in? I'll tell you why. Because I don't live my life that way. I live my life moment to fucking moment. That's, I try to. Because if I look too far down the road, I have a panic attack, and I start getting overwhelmed and depressed, and I just start going like,

it's just flying by, I'm gonna die soon, all right? It's not worth contemplating your own mortality just to get a fucking early check-in. I would rather walk in and then be like, what do you mean the room isn't ready? But I have a show Right and throw a big fucking hissy fit admit it. That's what everybody wants to see Oh, you know something I forgot to mention

You know Visiting John Bonham's grave the the legendary John Bonham, and paying my respect. Such a quiet, peaceful place. I was just looking up some stuff on it. I forgot to mention this. I don't know if they've raised enough money, but there's a group of people trying to make a statue around his hometown. It's the John Bonham Memorial Fund.

And I've been trying to reach out to them to see if they were able to raise the funds or whatever. But with all these fucking bullshit charities out there, hopefully this one's legit, I'm sure it is, but that's a pretty fucking cool thing. If I could drive you guys that way for John Henry Bonham's statue, I think that would be great. At least me. I don't know.

Something I would like. So if anybody knows somebody connected with that fund, I tried to send them an email. I didn't try to. I sent them an email and I checked one day to see if they got back to me. I didn't see anything from them and I'm really bad at checking emails. So I'm worried that at checking emails, so I'm worried that I'll never check again. But I don't know, somebody knows somebody connected with it, and if you can get some

information send it to the podcast or send it to me. Hopefully I'll fucking see it, and if they're coming up short I would love to send some money and make a donation myself, absolutely fucking, literally, towards it. Couldn't think of anybody more fitting as far as I'm concerned as a performer, right? All right, so plowing ahead. So, yeah, so I had a 345 show today, and I absolutely fucking loved it.

I went over there and I'm just thinking like, Jesus Christ, this is where it was going to be, a bunch of blue-haired old ladies? Who the fuck has a comedy show at 3.45 in the afternoon? It reminded me of when I was on my way up and I was paying my dues and I was humble and I treated my fellow human beings with respect as opposed to now.

Like I just ordered room service and like the water wasn't in a glass bottle and I slapped it down to the ground and I said how dare you. I'm from the United States of America, right? No, I didn't do that. Anyways, my humble beginnings as I was coming up, we used to do these things at colleges and they were called nooners.

You know, I got a nooner at Fuckhead State or whatever, and it was basically, you did stand up, you know, anywhere from fucking 11 in the morning to like one in the afternoon, and you had no idea what the fuck you were gonna walk into. I mean, you knew it was most likely going to be one of the most humiliating hours of your life.

You knew like 90% chance that most of the people in the cafeteria or in the hallway area or whatever had no idea that there was even going to be a show. Guaranteed that whoever's bringing you up on stage is not in show business, so it's going to be a horrible fucking intro, the whole thing. I remember, I used to just go on stage, right before I would go on stage, I would just look at my watch and I would always think, an hour from now, this is going to be over.

No matter how awful this gets, no matter how humiliating this gets, an hour from now, I'm going to be back in the rental car, I'm going to drive away from this gets, no matter how humiliating this gets. An hour from now, I'm going to be back in the rental car, I'm going to drive away from this school, and I don't have to ever think about this fucking show again. But I will have the money, okay? And whenever they're paying me, they probably shouldn't give me twice that amount

because I blew probably at least three times that on fucking therapy after going through those things. But that's how I always used to, that's how I used to always think it. And if you guys think I'm angry and negative now, you should have seen me back then. When I didn't even understand, actually I'm not negative now,

but I was way, way more angry and I was really fucking negative. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop before, I don't know, I just, I don't know, I read a bunch of fucking books and shit and I was able to come out of it. And I know I trash a lot of shit here on the podcast, but I like to think that when I give advice,

you know, you can hear the twinkle in my eye. You know it starts to sound like Christmas when I try to help somebody out. Ah, maybe I'm not, maybe I hear the twinkle in my eye. You know it starts to sound like Christmas when I try to help somebody up. Ah, maybe I'm not, maybe I'm the same way. But I mean, back then, I was at least, I wasn't even fucking aware how fucking nuts I was. And I would just go up there and I was just, I don't know, if somebody said anything,

I just tried to chop their fucking head off. And a lot of times they weren't being mean. And I ended up creating the fucking hostile situation between me and the crowd that I didn't want. I wanted it to be an easy gig. So why wouldn't you go up there and smile? Be like, hey, it's great to be here, you know, blah, blah, blah, and try to ingratiate yourself to the people.

You know why? I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that because when I grew up, I didn't see anybody doing that. All right? There's very few people from where I'm from, even fucking, have ever used the word ingratiating. I can tell you right now, I have no idea how to spell it.

All right, the first letter is either an I or it's an E. Is it ingratiating or ing N-gratian? I'm going to go with I. I'm going to try to spell it right now. Let's see what we got here. Come on Bill. I'm going to close my eyes. I-N-G-R so it doesn't help out. In gray, C-I-A-T-I-N-G. Come on, one time. one time get it right. Oh, fuck you. It's I-N-G-R-A-T-I-A-T-I-N-G. I missed one letter.

Do you know what I mean? It's like being off a degree in the space shuttle. The next thing you know you're on fucking Mars, you know, and you were trying to go to, I don't know, Jupiter? We'll go with Jupiter. Let me go back here. So anyways, I was sitting backstage waiting to go on, and now the show was fucking tremendous.

And I was like, why the fuck did I think that was gonna stink? This is why, because the last time I did shit like that, nobody knew who the fuck I was, no one knew there was a comedy show. This shit, I went there, it was people that listened to the podcast, they wanted to go there, and they knew it was a show.

So now, I'm like, holy fuck. I want to do fucking quarter to four in the afternoon shows from now on. Fuck this eight, nine, 10 o'clock at night shit. Dude, if I could have my day over, ah, that would be the greatest thing ever. I want to become the 11 a.m. comedian. Be like back in the day, I'll become a morning person again.

Well, who's getting who with all my fucking demons? I can't sleep more than four hours a night anyways. Ha ha ha ha ha. My wife says I always have a fucking look on my face of worry or I'm thrashing about. I'm a fucking mess. She goes, the only time you fucking sleep peacefully is when you get fucking drunk.

But then I snore. I mean, as I told you before, like I'm a fucking, my wife's a saint putting up with me. So anyways, I would fucking love to do that. You know, if I had like a show Friday night and a show Saturday night, if I could move them up to like four in the afternoon, right, even if I did a two hour show,

I would be done at six o'clock at night. Fucking rap, and then at that point, I can go to a ball game, I can go see all the shit that I miss that would be perfect But it sucked for the forevers coming out to see me because they'd have to leave work early. Maybe the Saturday night show I don't know probably wouldn't work people to use the other way, but I have to tell you like I if I didn't have this 1130 show To do right now like I like the level of excitement,

you know what I feel like right now? I feel like I got a day off from school, you know, when you were a kid, except I got that other one hanging over my head at 11.30. Oh, God, it was great, the people were fucking sober. It was tremendous. I know a number of comics that do, there's a few comics that work totally clean,

and they do like afternoon shows. And I've always pictured it being like, oh God, you must, I mean it's the afternoon, the sun's out, you must have to be like beyond clean and wholesome. And I gotta tell you, I just did my fucking act, you know, as hard as I would've done it at night and it worked fine. So, I don't know, I might as I would have done it at night and it worked fine, so I don't know,

I might have accidentally stumbled onto something. So, sorry about clearing my throat every five seconds, I've just been, you know, working every night doing this tour and I gotta tell you man, this has been one of the best tours of my career as far as just the people showing up and the venues that I've gotten to play. When I last left yous,

when I checked in on you on Thursday, I was, I had just gone to Bristol, England, the place where those ants were crawling all over the chocolate cake. I had a great time there, great show, and then I went to legendary Manchester, England. And I gotta be honest with you, that was the one out of all the shows

that I'm doing on this tour, that was the one that I was concerned about. I'm like, all right, this is Manchester, Man United, Man City, the fucking hooligans and all of this shit. And the only thing I knew about them was that book that I read. I can't remember if I brought this up Thursday. I read that book Among the Thugs, where there was an old American journalist.

He was considered old. He was in his 30s. He was considered a good geezer. And he somehow infiltrated them. And just some of the violence that they fucking talked about when they were over there. I remember some of the fucking stories. Do you know there was something that, I'm not saying that this was specifically done

in Manchester, but Manchester was only the only soccer city that I knew. I didn't even know, or football as they say, like Liverpool to me was the Beatles. And meanwhile, the Liverpool team, before Manchester started, went on their run up until about 1990 and won more championships than anybody and I had no fucking idea. But anyways, I guess one of the things these fucking hooligans used to do is they'd have a box cutter, a razor or some shit, right? And they'd have it so fucking sharp that they'd come up behind the supporter of another club

when they were standing up waiting to go in and they'd slash right across your ass. You know, horizontally. And it was so sharp, it would go right through your fucking pants, slash right across both butt cheeks. All right, and it was done so quick, by the time the person realized what was going on,

the other person had taken off, and here's the fucking thing, it cut deep enough that you needed stitches to close it. Alright, and the reason why they did it there was, so then while you're waiting for like a week, trying to remember when I used to get stitches, and depending on how bad it was, it would anywhere from three, four days

to like a week later they took it out, basically you couldn't sit down or you'd pull the stitches out. So you can't sit down, you can't sleep on your back, and God forbid, you know, you gotta take a dump. What do you do? And I was thinking you'd have to get in that yoga position, the table position. It's basically, I don't know, just imagine trying to make yourself a table facing up.

You'd have to do that and put a bucket underneath you. And then you can't tell me, God, during the process of that, it's not hurting. The fucking misery of that is unbelievable. And I mentioned that to somebody when I was up there. And then they talked about how another thing that they would do is they realized that, you know, if you cut someone with a box cutter, they could stitch it up.

So then what they did was they put two blades side by side that were far enough apart that when you slash the person, there wasn't any way for the doctor to stitch it up. They had to like glue it up because the space was too big. Just some fucking sadistic shit. So anyways, among other fucking really gross things that I read, so in my head I was just like,

Jesus Christ, this is like, I mean this is gonna be like a Philly show with box cutters and it was the exact opposite. It was great, and I gotta be honest with you, it felt like a show in like Boston, like I really felt some sort of weird connection with the sound of the crowd. It's weird, every crowd sounds a little bit different,

and they had that working class blue collar, you know, sucker punched in a bar fucking vibe, you know, that I grew up it. Now I was no tough guy. I just grew up there. So I saw I used to see the violence and try to get the fuck away from it. Like I said, I basically fought other kids up until about sixth grade. You know, I had a bunch of baby fat. So I I said, I basically fought other kids up until about sixth grade. I had a bunch of baby fat, so I was in a higher weight class. Then all of a sudden, I thinned out, and I was one of the scrunnier kids. Then my fighting career abruptly ended with a couple of ass kickings.

I was like, all right, why don't we try being funny from here on out? After that, people just kept getting bigger and the injuries got worse. You know, people laying on the floor of the bar, someone's repeatedly kicking them in the head, teeth getting knocked out, and I was just like, yeah, you know, I don't want to do that to somebody and I definitely don't want that done to me.

So, I'm going to start, you know, I utilized my footwear a lot when I was younger. Ha ha ha, walking away, running away, skipping away, whatever the fuck I had to do. Not interested. So anyways, after I did Manchester, then I had my big shows in London, you know, and at the Hammersmith Apollo. And I went and I was talking about all the all the bands that had played in Manchester and one of the guys working on the tour used to run that building and

He saw everybody from when the stone roses first came out red hot chili peppers all those bands from that era all played there so When I went to the Hammersmith one, I decided to look up to see who the fuck has played there. I mentioned a few of them. I thought it was Manchester on Thursday, but it was actually the one in London. Like Ziggy Stardust, that character, David Bowie, I thought he retired at the Manchester Apollo,

it was London. And also, Iron Maiden did their, they had a live, see if I can find it here. What is it? Beast Over Hammersmith. And that was in 1982. It was a sold out show on that stage. And one of the coolest fucking things ever, that's when Clive Burr, who shares my last name,

I should say I share it with him, he actually played there. just fucking amazing drummer. But I went to look up all of these. I hope I'm not boring you guys with this shit, but this is the fucking history of that place. All right, 1950s. All right, this is the Apollo in London. On March 25th, 1958, Buddy Holly

performed two shows at the venue. These were his last shows ever in the United Kingdom. In the 60s, Tony Bennett with Count Basie, Ella Fitzgerald with Duke Ellington, Louis Armstrong. The Beatles did 38 shows over 21 nights between late 64 and early 65. Johnny Cash in 66. Eric Clapton with the Yadberts. What else do we got? I'll just kind of just fly through these here. Queen, Freddie fucking Mercury,

the greatest front man ever. Elton John. Oh God, there's a bunch of kids next door. I hope you can't hear that. Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young. Kiss made their first UK appearances in 1976. They sold out two shows in two hours. Genesis, back when they were like this prog rock band.

Rory Gallagher, Carlos Santana. It just goes on and on and on and on. There's another great one. Black Sabbath played there in 78. It just goes on and on and on and on. There's another great one, Black Sabbath played there in 78. Jesus Christ, these fucking people are trying to come in my room. Black Sabbath played there in 78 and their support act, their opening act was Van Halen touring on their first album. Can you imagine if it fucking went to that show? I don't know.

It just goes on and on and on and on and on. You can scroll through all of this if you just look it up. Hammersmith, Apollo, London, and then one of the coolest ones I saw as far as standup comedians who performed there in 2010. The great Billy Connolly played there. This fucking guy sold out 20 shows. From July 5th to July 31st. Oh, by the way, Led Zeppelin, when they announced that they were gonna have their reunion. Oh, I'm sorry, a press conference for the premiere of Celebration Day.

They did it there. So in 2012, talk to the press. That's how big their press conferences are. It's like most people's concerts. So there's a picture of Plant Page and John Paul Jones on stage. It's pretty fucking killer. So anyways, all right, I'm done geeking out here,

but I want to thank everybody who came out to those shows. The first night was amazing. The light was a little bit in my eye on the first night, so I couldn't quite see anybody. And they kind of fixed it the second night. And as great as the first night was, the second night might have been one of the best shows I've ever had.

And I remember thinking before I went out there, you know, I'm like, you know, who knows if I ever get to come back? So, make it count. Don't go out there like a fucking pussy or something. I forget what happened. A number of people were talking about all the heckles I got during the show.

That did not even remotely bother me. I didn't find any of them to be malicious or anything like that. I just feel like I say a lot of dumb shit when I'm on stage, and I just feel like it makes people want to yell some shit. So anyways, I got to tell you guys about the fucking, I'm going to read a few advertisements here, and when I'm done stuttering over the live reads,

I got to talk to you about during this time of the year in London, a bunch of Arabs come in to vacation who have tons, basically as far as I could tell, limitless amounts of money. They're coming in from the Middle East because it's just so fucking hot. So they holiday, as they say out here, in London, and they fly in on a cargo plane, all of their super cars. The only reason why I found this out is because I've, you know, I've never seen it.

I was like, is there a car show here or something like that? And I just started asking around. I mean, just one fucking Lamborghini, one Ferrari, crazy Mercedes, fuck it, you know what, fuck the advertising. I got to tell you about this shit. Like I've never seen anything like it. It was like Ferrari Californias, the spiders, and then all these crazy colors. Like there's one fucking dude over there.

Look, first let me just read about how they get their shit there, if I can find it. Oh, you stupid cunt Bill. Did you really just mess that up? Hang on, I gotta hit pause, I don't wanna fuck this up. Oh no, I have it, I have it here. Okay, here it is. So, you know, all these people at the hotel were saying,

no, these people come in, they fly their cars in and all that, and I was just like, Jesus, they fly their fucking car, like ship them in or whatever by boat, like how much would that cost? So it says, you know, it's a website here, revealed how Arab Playboys fly their super cars into London on chartered cargo jets for the trifling sum of £20,000 per vehicle.

£20 quid, whatever the fuck they say. Cars have flown distances of around 3,000 miles in planes such as Qatar Airways, Airbus A330s, Lamborghinis, Ferraris, McLarens, among vehicles spotted recently in Knightsbridge area, which is the really ritzy area, or posh as they say. And the owners are usually here only for a couple of weeks. Dude, this is like a level of fucking wealth that, you know, I haven't seen it. I'm not saying that, you know, it doesn't go on in my country,

but this, it was fucking jaw-dropping. So basically, I'll send the link for this thing. I mean, these guys do not fuck around. These are just some of the sickest rides ever. And then what I love is this one guy, yeah, here's a Lamborghini, there's a yellow one, there's a gray one. I don't even know, this other one's like a McLaren,

or is that a Ferrari? And then this is the thing, because they can all afford them, they're trying to trick them out, so theirs looks unique. This guy has some sort of spider webs going on, which is horrific to anybody who ever considered buying that car, like, why would you ruin that? Why would you do that to that fucking work of art? They look, dude, they're hooking these fucking things up

the way, you know those kids who drive the drifters and shit, you know what I mean? Or people who drove hot rods will always have that. Who's that guy, the guy who used to do all the fucking artwork on those things, you know what I mean? And those are like cars, you know, the kids could afford it to like fix them up. These are like some of the richest people on those things. You know what I mean? And those are like cars, you know, that kids could afford to like fix them up. These are like some of the richest people on the planet. They do that to Ferraris, Lamborghinis.

So there's this one fucking guy. He has all of, he's like becoming famous because he flew like six of his fucking cars over and they're all like done done in this mirror gold. It's like, I gotta be honest with you, it's like the gaudiest thing I've ever seen in my life, but it's fucking hilarious on another level. Hang on.

All right, so I found the guy here. This guy's not even trying to be famous or anything. I don't know why he's doing it. So, Saudi billionaire, Turki bin Abdullah, is the man behind the fleet of incredible golden supercars currently touring wealthy parts of London. Dude, this kid, he looks like he's like fucking 23. All right, these are the pictures. This looks like a Lamborghini.

They're all the exact same color gold. And you know what's funny is they got pictures of them flying in their private jet and they're doing that stupid peace sign YOLO thing, right? Except they're dressed in the traditional Saudi Arabian headgear that they wear. It's all fucking white. And then on top looks like that traditional Betty Crocker tablecloth. They got that with the LeBron James headband on.

Right? Love and life in this private jet. You know they didn't rent it, they probably own it, right? Then he's got another one. This looks like a fucking one of those, either a Range Rover or a Mercedes-Benz truck, and this is the greatest thing, custom interior, all gold, and in the driver's seat there's a cheetah.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Every car's like 350 fucking grand. Hey, you know, you ever seen that truck, the six wheel Mercedes? It's got six wheels. I gotta be careful, there's kids next door. It's got fucking six wheels on it. There's no fucking reason to have this truck ever.

I mean, the thing is, it's incredible. Fucking thing is incredible. He's got one of those in gold. Oh, and that's where he keeps his cheetah, evidently. I'm just scrolling down. He's got a Range Rover. I mean, they are gaudy. I don't know.

Then he does them in black. They're kind of fucking cool looking. So anyway, so there's a bunch of people that fucking can't stand it. Of course, you have one of those cars, everybody's going to hate you. If you got fucking six of them, and you're getting them,

and they look like the grill. Remember those fucking grills they used to make, those guys in Houston, with that rapper Paul Wall? I think even he had a line in those things, right? Remember how fucking like just in your face gaudy that was? But that was just teeth, you know, so you had to make them laugh first, which is a really difficult thing to do with a rapper,

you know what I mean? The second they smile, their album sales, they drop tremendously. So it's very rare that you got them to smile. So as gaudy as they were, it wasn't that bad. There's no way to look away from these fucking cars. So I'm walking down the street in London, and I'm just looking at all these cars. It was like a fucking car show, man.

It was amazing. So this typical fucking, you know, showy jerk off in this Lamborghini, not a gold one, and he's in like stop and go traffic. And the entire time he's in stop and go traffic, he's just revving the engine. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I can't do the high pitch. You know those super cars, how crazy they are, right?

And I'm trudging along in this humid air and shit with all these Londoners, right? And this fucking lady, the guy's going, is sitting there going like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, doing all that stuff. She just goes, oh, stop it. I almost fell down on the sidewalk and laughed, and that's the first time I thought, like, that's what made me research it, going like, like I was, you know, after the 50th Ferrari

went by and there wasn't a car show, I was starting to sense that there was something going on here. But I just thought that these were just super, I was like, wow, man, there's a lot of money in London. These guys are not fucking around. Who the fuck would live in London? got the tube you got all these taxis I mean like it'd be like owning a Lamborghini and you live in Manhattan like why why? That's just a disgusting level of wealth so I was just like man these people are

They're crushing it over here in London, but I guess it's just this group of people that comes over Dude you got to look this kid up this kid cannot be more than like I guess it's just this group of people that comes over. Dude, you gotta look this kid up. This kid cannot be more than like, I don't know, 23, 24. Dude, he's got a gold Rolls Royce, he's got a Bentley. I gotta be honest with you, he knows his fucking cars. The six wheels Mercedes is fucking ridiculous.

I know a lot of people, oh, you know, it's blood money, it's this, it's that, yeah, you know, you're right. But whatever, you know, it's fun to look at. And you know something, just being someone who likes to go on stage, and like, I like to entertain people, but it's also really fun to annoy people. And the fact that these people are coming there

and they're driving around in their fucking cars, sorry, that just slid down the pillow, sorry. They're driving around in their fucking cars and they, that just slid down the pillow. Sorry. They're driving around in their fucking cars and they're annoying, you know, making that lady go, oh, stop it. It was just, it was hilarious to me. So I'll send a link to that stuff. And with that, with all of that babbling here, let me get out, let me read some advertising

here. I just heard the people laughing next door as I imitated the reverend of the engine, so I don't know if they're laughing at me. They're probably not, because they would have heard me curse by now. All right, let's do two and two. We'll get back to this shit, right? Will we?

I hope we will. All right. Continuing on. How far? Oh, 34 minutes. Very nice, perfect, perfect, perfect. So, I actually got to spend a day in London, which was great, because I was there for two nights.

And I also finally got to drive and see a lot of England, absolutely gorgeous country. So Hyde Park is like their central park, and I just went in there, walked around. I always look at Royal Albert Hall, because I telling you one of these days I'm gonna play there. Right? I'm gonna do a show there, God willing. If not I'm gonna see a show there but if I do play there I can guarantee you I'm gonna rent a drum kit again during the day. I already talked to the promoter. I was like can I rent a drum kit? Can I go in there put on some headphones and just fucking play to Led Zeppelin? Because that was one of Bonham's, I don't know,

I think it's some of the greatest live footage of him ever, is their performance at Royal Albert Hall. And he was like, oh yeah, absolutely, no problem, mate. So, that's definitely a bucket list thing for me. So I always go there and I just forget about dreaming about playing that place, just to look at it. If you Google a picture of Royal Albert Hall, it looks like it's something out of the Roman

Empire. I know it was made in the 1850s or 60s or something, but it's just an absolutely incredible, incredible venue. I told you that time, I don't know when it was, like 2009 or 10 or something like that, I took a tour of it with Nia, and Nia didn't want to go, because she said it was going to be boring as shit,

and we got there, and it was boring as shit. But then when we went to go check out, they brought us out on the mezzanine level, and we got to sit down in one of the suites, and right as we were sitting down, the London Philharmonic was practicing for that night's performance. It was like they were waiting for us. Right as we sat down, they started playing and it was one of the most beautiful things

I ever heard in my life. Nia immediately, she puts her hand over her mouth, starts tearing up and all that, and all I could think was like, you know what, now would have been a great time to ask her to marry me. That would have been the, but how the fuck did I know that was going to happen? So instead, I waited until we went to White Castle. No kidding. Anyways, so then last night, I got to walk around Hyde Park and it's really incredible

that just the sheer size of that, and they have a bunch of parks, way more so than Manhattan as far as the size of them and everything. Just a really... It actually seemed like there was enough space for everybody. And then after that, I went over to Amsterdam the next day, flew out. Oh, Jesus, I forgot the whole other part of the story. Sorry. My brain is even more all over the place because I've been flying all over the place. And I just did a show in the afternoon and I'm still jet lagged.

I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing here. So I apologize if this is more scatterbrained than usual. So after my second show in London, I was just, I could not have done a better job on that one. I was so fucking thrilled. Thank Christ. And then I deliberately booked myself in a hotel. I usually stay wherever the fuck, I don't care, but this hotel actually had a cigar bar in it, and I learned that from Cigar Fictionado. They got this thing called Places to Smoke,

so if you're traveling, just look it up, and they will tell you the place to go. And I went there with the person who was the tour manager, and it was just me and him, and we went in there. It was funny when we first came in, they were like, oh, we're sorry, we don't have any seats, because we walked in looking like a couple of fucking roobs,

you know, had my baseball hat on and shit, all sweaty from the show, we just looked like two fucking assholes. And you know, in there were all these gorgeous Arab women and all those fucking, that whole fucking scene was, I don't know if those chicks were from London trying to meet the guy in the golden car, but at this point I was so caught up in the fucking soap opera. It was like watching a reality show. Like how that isn't a reality show is fucking beyond me.

Somebody needs to make that a fucking reality show. It's literally like Fast and Loud without building a thing meets like the fucking real housewives meet, but they're guys, you know? I don't know, Big Brother or something. I'd want to see them talking about what it's like to be that rich. I'd want to see the whole fucking process of how they got those fucking cars over there.

Do they give a fuck that people, you know, hate on them for having those cars? How do they deal those fucking cars over there? Do they give a fuck that people hate on them for having those cars? How do they deal with women coming at them? Because you've got a fucking fleet of gold cars. I don't give a shit who the fuck she is. Well, that's not true, but there's a sizable amount of women that'll just blow you just so they can look

at themselves sucking a dick in the fucking shine of that car. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Look at themself sucking a dick in the fucking shine of that car. If anybody in London ever fucking makes that show, please text me a link because I'm going to watch every fucking episode. I want to see the whole thing. The riding over in the jets, you know, the whole thing. The confiscating of the passports so you have the slave labor that builds Dubai. I want to see the fucking, I want to see the whole thing the confiscating of the passport so you have the slave labor that builds Dubai I want to see the fucking I want to see the whole thing the pain the sorrow the whores the whole fucking thing

tremendous Anyways Where was I? Don't know where I was. Oh, so we ended up so I just said things like yeah We don't have I I was. Oh, so we ended up, so I just said, they're like, yeah, we don't have, I knew what he was doing. He saw me coming in with my stupid potato face, all fucking sweaty from the show, my dumb Tiger Woods beat up golf hat,

and he was just like, I am sorry, sir, we do not have any fucking blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was just like, dude, I said dude, which really made him stop for a second, I was like, I booked myself in this hotel specifically so I could smoke here. And he goes, well, you can sit at the bar, maybe you did this.

So I fucking go upstairs, drop my shit off. By the time I got downstairs, they had a table, because I think the fucking, the tour manager guy said something. So, you know, we were able to sit down. You know what's fucking hilarious too? This is what's hilarious. There were plenty of seats Fucking assholes, you know they saw me coming in looking like old sickly Ron Howard

They were like fuck this guy this guy's not bringing any ass or money in here. Yeah, beat it Go get yourself a snow cone you fucking freckled mess Go get yourself a snow cone, you fucking freckled mess. Oh, we're sorry, you're spending money here. Okay, yo, by the well, there's 40 empty two tops. Where did they come from? Well, when you went upstairs for two minutes, all of a sudden everybody left.

So, it was the greatest. The tour manager didn't smoke cigars but said he wasn't adverse to doing it. Greatest feeling ever, right? He sat down and he was smoking it, and he was just going, and he's gradually getting more and more into it. And I was happy to see that he was liking it.

Then I was also nervous, like, ah, fuck that. I just give somebody a cigar habit, but he was just like, I forget what he's saying. This is brilliant, this is lovely. And I go, yeah, this is what it is. Everybody thinks it's like smoking a cigarette. Cigarette smokers are animals, they're junkies. They run outside in the rain,

they're fucking standing next to dumpsters, they're sitting on stoops. Animals sucking it into their lungs, you know? I need another one, need another one, need another one. No, no, cigar, it's for gentlemen. You know, you sit down, you shoot the shit, you break each other's balls, you solve the world's problems.

You don't really, but you feel like you do. It's fucking tremendous. I guess it's kind of like cocaine, right? Doesn't that what happens when you do cocaine? You think everybody's a good shit and then you figure out how to run the world. Then you get all paranoid like a dictator and then, I don't know, somebody overdoses and everybody how to run the world. Then you get all paranoid like a dictator and then somebody overdoses

and everybody runs out of the room. I don't know, I always stayed out of that world. All right, let's get to some questions here. For the week. There's no fucking way that they're not going to make a reality show out of that. They got to do it, unless those kids are so fucking rich. And by kids, no disrespect, it's just I'm an old man.

If you're in your 20s, you're a kid to me. Unless they're just so rich that they don't want to bring any, well that's stupid, don't want to bring attention to yourself, you're driving a fucking gold mirrored car down the road. Oh God. It was tremendous. I, cause, you know, I drive nine-year-old Prius, right?

I was always envious of those fucking people that would do shit like that. Those, hey, look at me people. I would feel like if I drove down the street in one of those, I would feel like the biggest fucking tool ever. Like, if I ever had a Ferrari, the last thing I ever want to do is drive it slowly by a cafe. I would be so fucking self-conscious of people looking at me,

and then people would actually laugh at me. They'd look at me and I'd be in a Ferrari, still getting laughed at, and I've had enough pain in life. However, if I ever had a Ferrari, if I was out on the fucking open road, yeah, I would have windows up, I don't want anybody to see me, because that really ruins the car.

If you're like, oh my God, let's see this James Bond looking guy in this car, and then you fucking see my red head in there. He must have a terminal disease or something. How the fuck did he get that car? All right, let me read some of the questions here for this week. Oh, Jesus, did I even take that? I didn't even copy and paste them yet.

What's going on with you this week, Bill? I mean, Christ, you're all over the map here. All right, content, content. All right. All right. Bill Grating, keep forgetting to have you announce the posters. Oh yeah, the Madison Square Garden posters will be on the website this Wednesday.

When I played Madison Square Garden, I made all these fucking posters, and I didn't have a merch person, and for some reason I thought the venue was going to handle it and nobody did, so I had all these posters made and shipped to Madison Square Garden and I sold like zero. And then I had to pay to ship them all the way to fucking LA. It was a fucking, it was a fiasco. So I have a couple, I don't even know how many of them, I think I had made like 500,

maybe 400, 500 of them. So I autographed all of them. You know what's funny is I always keep one poster for like the scrapbook and I wasn't 500, maybe four, 500 of them, so I autographed all of them. You know what's funny is I always keep one poster for like the scrapbook, and I wasn't paying attention, and I autographed all of them, so now the only poster I have is signed by me, so I'm not gonna get one, because I can't have a poster signed. Hey Bill, keep being you, you know?

Bill, be stupid, so I feel like an asshole. You know, it's a continuing story of me being an idiot. All right, minimize the crazy. All right, love the podcast. Bill, I listen to it at the gym because it's really motivating. Not really, just good to hear someone talking shit rather than listening to the constant grunting

and self-praise you hear in gyms. I'm in Australia and I'm in my early 30s and I need to break up with a crazy chick. Oh Jesus, this is always difficult. It's not difficulty, I'll tell you right now, the degree of difficulty is greatly increased if you're living with her, obviously. Alright, if you're not living with her, I. If you're not living with her,

I can tell you exactly how you do it. And I would be, oh, I can't tell you. I'd have to tell you to have Al Madrigal do it. Al Madrigal, I should have him on the podcast. He had the greatest fucking way ever of breaking up with a girlfriend. And I feel like it's his story to tell, so now that I got you all fucking interested, I'll fuck you, I'll make up for it here.

Let me read this real quick. All right, I need to break up with a crazy chick and I'm hoping to minimize the property damage or stalking that usually comes along with the crazy. Well, why don't you do this? Why don't you set up some security little cameras, catch her damaging your property, and for once, report a woman damaging a guy's fucking

property after a breakup, and maybe she'll actually have to fucking pay for it. All these videos of these chicks just fucking, just destruction of property does not apply to a female. I don't understand it. Anyways, he goes, I would normally just do it in a public place and then go into hiding for a few weeks with all of my possessions under lock and key, but this is different. This time it's different. We've been together for a bit over a year and

when I first met her, I thought she was perfect, but it all changed. About nine months into it, her sister-in-law was caught drink driving with her 15-month-old daughter in the car. And as a result, the kid was taken off both parents until one of them proved to be a fit parent. Oh my God. They took it away from both of them? Wow. All right.

Her brother slash the kid's father has always been a fit parent, but in Australia, the authorities have a preference for the mother, so he had to go through the bullshit to get his daughter back. Yeah, Jesus, every fucking law it seems. When this happened, we put our hand up to take care of the kid, and the kid and the girl moved in with me for a bit over 12 weeks. Having the kid around was fucking awesome,

and because of our work schedule, I got to spend a lot of time with the kid and loved every minute of it. My girlfriend, however, wasn't very keen on it right from the start, which made it pretty clear that we want different things, and the situation also brought out the crazy in a pretty big way. She tended to be angry with me every morning

over shit that I couldn't do anything about, such as her job. And on top of that, became extremely jealous that her ex had a new girlfriend. Normally this would be the kind of thing that would make me walk, but we were looking after the kid. Now the kid is back with her father and it's time for the breakup. I'm pretty sure she's the type of crazy that would resort to property damage before physical violence. I'm trying to reduce this. The only issue I see aside aside from the crazy, is that she still has a few things in my house,

and there are a few things that belong to the kid left here. Portable cot, clothes, and toys. Any strategies you can think of would be great. All right, you know what? You need the Al Madrigal advice, and he's not here. This is Al Madrigal's, this is his, this is how he did it. I'm giving him total credit here.

When Al had to break up with the woman and he made the decision, you know, before he went over to her apartment, he would get a box and he would take all of her belongings that were in his apartment, put them in the box, and then come over, holding the box, and the woman opens the doors like, what the fuck? And then you immediately, oh, I think he already

changed the locks too, that's another thing too. Changed the fucking locks, and what you can easily do, just with a different deadbolt. That's just a couple of screws. Just do that and usually, you know, that's no big deal. I guess down below's a couple of two. It's no big deal. Just change the fucking locks, put everything in a box,

then you go over to her place, you sit down, and you just say it's fucking over, blah blah blah. They flip out, they want to break something that are in their house, that's it. Fucking over. If you have anything in her apartment of value, I would get that first, and then I would do the rest of it. There really should be, you know,

with all these things now that they're complaining that men do, like anything from fucking like mansplaining, manspreading and all that, all these fucking feminist groups up and down the fucking street about the shit that we're doing. Do any of them address the ridiculous level of destruction of property that women do to guys when they break up with them? Or even if they get caught fucking around, okay, he fucked around on you. That does not give you the right to key the guy's car. up with them. Or even if they get caught fucking around. Okay, he fucked around on you. That does not give you the right to key the guy's car. I mean, you can do it, but you should go to jail. You should have to pay for it. You should go on your fucking record. But

guys are always just like, you know, I just want to just make it go away. Just make it. They make like YouTube videos of themselves fucking destroying property. So that might be something else you want to look into. Dude, if this chick's crazy, I would just go total CIA on her. Go over there without her knowing, just take back, leave just, first of all, you're going to have to leave some troops behind. Couple pairs of sneakers, got to go Willem Dafoe platoon here. All right? But if you got, you know, if you got some, I don't know, I don't know, a fucking iPad or some shit like that, you need to grab that shit. Get that shit the fuck out of there.

You have some sort of nerd friend or a friend who knows a nerd, they wire, you got fuckin' cameras and all that shit, you got that goin'. Change your fuckin' locks, box up the shit, go over there, drop the fuckin' hammer. If you're worried that this woman's gonna get physical with you,

I would break up with her in a public place because I don't know how it works in Australia, but here in America a woman can take out a machete, chop a guy's head off, and then sue the surviving family members for the blister on her hand that she got when she swung the fucking thing through his head. So good luck to you, be careful, and I hope it all works out for you. Alright.

Oh, for God's sake, I fucking hate these fucking computers. You know what kills me? I can't get him to do anything, and then you barely brush up against him and everything fucking goes away. What the fuck? Ah, drives me nuts. Alright, all time lows.

All time lows, sorry. All right, hey there Billy with the little red willy. What the fuck do you know about my dick? How dare you insult it like that? Fucking, I challenge you. I'll challenge you to an Instagram photo. No, kid. All right, dear Bill, I'm a 26 year old guy

living in Pennsylvania. Until recently I was dating my to an Instagram photo. No, kid. Alright, Dear Bill, I'm a 26 year old guy living in Pennsylvania. Until recently I was dating my girlfriend of four years. We bought a house together six months ago. I, you what? You're 26, you're in Pennsylvania. You're dating a girl for four years and you bought a house together. We had two great cats and couldn't be happier.

What the fuck, you married this girl, dude, or stopped buying shit with her. Sorry. About two weeks ago, she went on a 10-day group hiking trip to Nevada with her aunt and a bunch of random people. When she came back, I had a $300 purse waiting for her as a welcome home gift.

However, after she thanked me for the gift, she sat me down and said we needed to talk. Oh yeah, she went on a hike, dude. Which means she did some soul searching and some dick sucking, no kidding. So then we, she then told me, she was breaking up with me because she doesn't want to live in the suburbs anymore or work a desk job anymore.

She said she wanted to move out west and become an outdoor adventure guide and that it was her dream to work in our country's national parks and live an outdoor adventure type life. I asked if there was another guy and she said no. She said she just needed to find herself and follow her dream. All right, well up until now you can't get mad at her. She's just telling you what she wants in life. As a regular listener of your podcasts,

I always hear you tell people to follow their dreams. So even though I was heartbroken, I supported her decision. Well, dude, I gotta tell you, that's really mature of you. Most people would go, most guys would go into the falsetto. You fucking bitch. The next day I I saw her. She got a text from a guy named Zack. Uh-oh.

We don't have any Zacks in our friend circle. Uh-oh. While she was in the shower, I snooped through her phone and read her text message with Zack. There were messages about how much they missed each other and how she couldn't wait to move out to Arizona They both sent each other naked pictures, and they talked about how much they liked fucking each other on their trip

Bly she still doesn't know I've been through a phone so as of now I'm at an all-time low I have to sell my house and lose a ton of money I lost my girlfriend to another guy. She is also taking the cats and since I can't afford an apartment by myself, I'll be a 26 year old guy living with my parents." Well, don't you get half of the house? He goes in to top it all off, she's walking around with that $300 fucking purse. My question is, how do I confront her about the text message?

Do you have any advice for me moving forward? And was there ever a point in your life that there was an all time low and how'd you get through with it? First of all, dude, sorry you're going through all of that. Here's the bright side. All right, look. If your girlfriend went on a fucking hike,

that's what she always wanted to do, and when she went out there, you know, she gets all caught up with this other guy, she comes back and just immediately breaks up with you. You know, maybe she's letting you down a little bit easier that she didn't meet this other fucking guy. Why add insult to injury? But the fact that she accepted the purse

She should have said I can't accept this she didn't have to tell you about the fucking guy I mean what what's that gonna do other than make you feel fucking horrible? Here's the bright side of this, all of this, okay? The bright side is you're a fucking great guy. You're a solid guy. You didn't get mad at her or any of that type of stuff. You're supporting her fucking dream. She kept the purse, which means she's a cunt.

And I don't think this guy, Zach, knows what's going to hit him. But you know what, Zach might be a dick. She's a cunt. And I don't think this guy, Zack, knows what's going to hit him. But you know what, Zack might be a dick. She's going out there. What are you going to do? She wants to go out and go fuck some guy who wears sandals on a rubber raft? I mean, that's her idea of a man.

Then you just got to let her go. But the thing is, you can't internalize it like it had anything to do with you. It had nothing to do with you. All right? You just picked the wrong one. But you know what, dude? I was going to say, at least you didn't have any kids. You learned something. Don't buy a fucking house with somebody you're not married to. Okay? Once you know 100 fucking percent that this is the person you want to spend your life with and they say that to you You know hopefully they're not lying which is the difficulty of fucking relationships Then you go out you buy a fucking house with somebody but dude you're only 26 years old you got your whole life ahead of you and

I Would bring up the fact that she was with that guy, Zach. I mean, I don't know. This is what you should do. This is what you should do. Here's what you do. Just be a total fucking gentleman. And ask her if she likes, oh God, here we go. Just sit her down and just ask her

if she likes the person and all that. And right before this is the last time you're going to see, last time you're going to ever see her, just right before she says, hey honey, good luck with your dream, and blah, blah, blah, blah. You do your little bullshit hug, and she walks away. And you go, oh honey, one more thing.

Hey, tell Zack I said what's up. And just shut the fucking door. And then as she's walking away, you just scream out, you fucking whore. Oh. No, you know what you could be funny? Listen, you just say it, you throw Zach in the middle of it. You could really have a lot of fun with this.

And I'll tell you something right now. No one knows more how much fun you can have with it than a woman. A woman knows how to fuck, and like I'm going to ruin this. Women are really good at this. Guys are just like, oh, let's go fight. Women know how to be like,

ooh, I got this piece of information. What is the perfect fucking way this will do the most amount of damage? What if you put it in the middle of it? If you say, listen, I just want you to know I'm really happy for you and Zach. You know, you're going to be out, no, it's too early. Really happy If you say, listen, I just want you to know I'm really happy for you and Zach. You know, you're going to be out, no, it's too early.

Really happy for you, you're going to be out there living your dream, and as much as I'm going to miss you and everything, I'm just so happy that you're, have the courage to follow your dream, you know. Ah, somewhere in there, somewhere in there, you just got to, you know, you can be out there rafting, you know, you can keep fucking Zach, but no, don't say fuck. See, I'm going to there rafting, you can keep fucking Zack, but don't say fuck.

See, I'm gonna mess it up, but you understand where I'm going with this. You gotta just drop Zack in the middle of it, and then do about two more sentences, and then just stop and just stare at her. And just leave her in the stunned silence of that moment. And then whisper in your ear, I'm so happy I didn't have kids with you.

And then you walk away. Sorry, all right, that was creepy. Anyways, all right, amusement parks. Hey, Billy Bozo, Bozo, sorry. Billy Bozo, I thought he was complimenting me. He was actually insulting. Just wanted to hear your take on amusement park, what your take on amusement parks are.

I went the other day with my girl and just could not help but notice all of the fucking animals around me. From people walking barefoot to the fat asses walking with their giant fucking turkey legs around the park. I hope you guys can't hear my stomach growling. I haven't eaten all day today

because I've been eating so bad. Trying not to fucking eat a giant breakfast here. You guys can't hear my stomach growling. I haven't eaten all day today because I've been eating so bad. Trying not to fucking eat a giant breakfast here. Anyways, I was just disgusted, or lunch I should say, I was just disgusted. You a fan of going to an amusement park? Whatever, go fuck yourself. No, I'm not.

They are fucking animal magnets. Look, I don't mind kids that go there, but the fucking adults that go there. Some of the worst tattoos, some of the worst bodies, some of the just mouth breathing fucking morons. Like you go to amusement park, that's for everybody who can't afford to go to Disneyland. You're talking animals, you're talking rides that don't work.

People get killed at those fucking things. I swear to God, dude, it's like, it's a bump up from a carnival. But even carnivals aren't as bad because I feel like a carnival, you have the community, it came to your town, so there's a bunch of high school kids seeing each other. It's still kind of a fun thing, but you just go to an amusement park so there's a bunch of high school kids seeing each other, it's still kind of a fun thing. But you just go to an amusement park, it's just there. Any of those fucking water parks, any of that type of shit, that is just a white trash fucking magnet.

All right, that's my elitist comment for the fucking day. We got a couple more of these to read. Let me, couple more questions, and let me just knock out these last two advertisements here. Advertisements. Alright. Let's knock out these last few questions. Come on.

Help me out here. I fucking hate computers, they just don't fucking work for me. Alright, there we go. Alright, baby's mom is a whore. Jesus Christ Jesus Christ, or as they say a fucking har Get the chars get the harz in the chars. Alright, I'll try and keep this short and to the point I was dating a redheaded succubus lady for almost eight years What does succubus mean again? That's the one who basically

takes over your life, kills you afterwards. I remember that South Park was the first time I ever heard that. Chef was warning them about a succubus. Succubus, a female demon believed to have sexual intercourse with sleeping men. What? It appears in dreams takes the form of a woman in order to seduce men through sexual activity. But then what does she make you do afterwards? Hang on a second. Appears to take the form of... The male counterpart is the incubus. Oh, is that how they got the name for the band?

Religious traditions hold that repeated sexual activity with the succubus may result in the deterioration of health or even death. I really don't see the downside to any of that. All right, let's... Is that supposed to be scary? That's fucking great. I really don't see the downside to any of that. All right, let's, is that supposed to be scary? That's fucking great. Sleeping, she comes in, she takes care of you. We need more succubuses in the world.

All right. Her and I conceived two sons together. Why do people date and have kids and buy houses together? And in that time, we were talking about getting married. I loved her very much with all my heart. We rented a house and lived together for most of our relationship. I've always treated her with respect and tried my best to be the best provider for her and my two sons and her third son whom she has with another guy. Needless to say she went

out with her girlfriends which she had done many of times before but did not come home until the next day. When I asked her why she stayed out all night or didn't call to let me know what's up, she responded by telling me she had sex with some random guy she met because she was drunk. I was like, what the fuck? How could you? Why would you do that? Her and I started to argue.

In the course of the argument, not only did I find out that she had cheated on me, but in the entire time her and I were together, she just admitted to cheating on me with 12 other people in our eight years together. What the fuck? It doesn't quite put my feelings into perspective. And the only reason she gave was she wasn't happy with me. I don't understand that, and to this day, she still will not elaborate on that. So I've since then moved out back home with my moms.

I feel crushed like my entire life with her was a lie. It was. She betrayed me in the worst possible way and completely destroyed my outlook on love, but not only that I feel like I'm failing my family, my kids, and even that red-headed whore because I couldn't keep my family together. I've offered to go to counseling.

No, dude, fuck that, to try and work through this, but she's not interested. She acts like our eight years meant nothing. It didn't, meant nothing to her. That doesn't mean you're a bad person. She's been bouncing from guy to guy since we split up. The whole situation's kind of fucked up. Yeah, and you got kids there and she doesn't care.

It's been several months now and I still feel like shit. I've been slaying bar sluts right and left, starting to work out, trying to focus on bettering myself and my son's lives, trying to keep my mind positively occupied, but I still feel this pain in my chest like something's missing. Her, I guess, I don't know, still feel lost as shit.

Dude, all of that's totally normal. You're supposed to feel that way. She probably doesn't feel anything, or maybe she does and that's why she's going around there, you know, fucking everybody. Maybe she had an asshole dad, I have no idea. Maybe she's a succubus, I have no idea. The only way to get past this dude

is to continue doing what you're doing, go to the gym, I'm not saying you're going to fuck every woman that moves, but the only thing that cures this is time. Time and don't try to block it out, dwell on it, cry it out of you. All of that shit you're not supposed to do as a guy. That's what women do. They sit down, they talk about it, they cry it out and they get past it and we fucking hang on to it forever and it kills us. So cry that bitch out of you. You know, it's a big thing. Never trash her to your kids. Because as much as she fucked you over, that's their mom, you know? And it's going

to fuck them up and it's going to make them pick the wrong kind of woman or it's going to make them treat women disrespectfully. So I think what you got to do is just, it's all about you now. Obviously you have kids, but I would just try to become the best guy you could and go meet a woman that's worthy of being with you. And then have a great fucking life together and you'll never need to trash your wife

in front of your kids. They'll figure it out. They'll figure it out. They'll figure it out. That's it. And if she trashes you and says all this shit about you, just be a great dad to them and that aspect of it will work out. But as far as like feeling lost, feeling like a piece

of shit, then you know, that just is how it goes. I mean, I had that happen. I mean, I've had kids, but I had women cheat on me. I've been an asshole, I've cheated on women. I kind of gave and took equally in my dating history. Especially when I was a young guy, I dated a fucking older woman, she fucking ran around him, I was an idiot.

And then I was going like, oh, they're all fucking like that or whatever. So whatever, you work it out. All right. Time travel follow up. All right, this is the last one the podcast has done. All right, Mr. Burr, I just now caught up with your podcast about the time travel topic and thought you might be interested in a few resources. Last night there was a Chris Hardwick show episode

about the time travel story that may have influenced your writer or not. In any event, the coincidence is interesting to me. The Hardwick bit was based on the actual candidacy for president of a man named Andrew Bushago, Lake Chicago, like Chicago. Mr. Bushago claims to be the whistleblower slash witness you would like to hear come from any real development

program. His essential claim is that he was inducted into a deep black military program. There are many of these around the age of six and discharged eventually at the age of 23. That program developed physical and virtual modes of teleportation and time travel. It's as easy to create an address for a different time as a different place, it turns out, which was in service starting about 1967.

Yes, he says. I don't understand any of this shit. I believe Mr. Bishago's testimony to be truthful, so take that as you must, but if you are interested in the story, you should at least give some of his long-form interviews a listen. I think you can find them easily by searching his name on YouTube. The quality of the interview views vary a lot depending on the interviewer, so if you get one where the interview is annoyingly dumb continue One of my favorites is this here's the link just listen to just listen to the first four minutes and

See if you want to stop. All right, you know what I'm in I'm in I love this sci-fi conspiracy theory shit. I'll read it anytime you want All right, that's it If you could hear the kids screaming next door my apology if I had the recorder too close to my gurgling stomach, I gotta get some dinner before I do my second show here. I apologize for that. Big thank you to everyone who came out to my show last night. You hear that kid? In Holland, Amsterdam. Unfortunately, I literally landed, did the show, and then had to leave. I barely went by the Van Gogh Museum, just saw it, didn't get to go in, and I don't know. It would have been great to hang in such a great city, but I didn't get a chance to. Thanks to everybody who came out when I went through England. It's just been a great tour.

And so far, one out of four shows is done here in Scotland. And the first one was as fun a show as you can have at four o'clock in the afternoon as possible. So that's it, I'll check in on you on Thursday. Go fuck yourselves, I'll see you.