Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 9-17-15

Episode Date: September 18, 2015

Bill rambles about the c-notes in Buffalo, Fantasy Band Camp and Amazon.

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Lovely knee in the background. What's going on? How are you? How's your week going? Old Freckles made it. Old Freckles made it is 72 days. I didn't drink 72 days. It just became a part of my life. And the fucking second that it was over, I went to the pub and had 40 drinks. Yes, I did. I've been boozing. I might actually be legally drunk right now. I just had a beer. What?

Oh, you said shout out. I thought you said shut up. Look, if you're going to be on the podcast, be on the podcast. Don't be on in the background. You know what kills me is you saw me setting up my fucking mixer and you're sitting there in the background and it's just like, why the fuck, you know, why would you just keep waiting? What the hell's the other microphone? Go get the other microphone. It's in the drawer over there. Anyways, while she does that bullshit, let's address some of the top news stories of the week, shall we? I don't watch the news, so I don't know what's going on internationally. But I do know this. The Buffalo Bills are talking all kinds of shit. You know what I mean? Talking, oh, we're going to do this and we're going to do that and wonderful grammatic sentences like don't nobody like the Patriots.

You know, the usual shit. And this is the thing. They have a good enough defense. They'll beat us once this year, probably going to split with them. And they're going to talk all kinds of crap and fucking Rex Ryan's going to wear a wig and smell somebody's feet and yada, yada, fucking yada, the whole goddamn thing. And at the end of the fucking day, the bills aren't going to win the Super Bowl. So let me ask you this, you miserable cunts. She's putting on the fucking wind thing sock there. You got it on? Can you hear it? All right. Just hang on a second. I got to get through this. So let me ask you this, you miserable cunts out in western New York. At the end of the day, if you just beat the Patriots once, let's say you fucking take the whole, you win both, which you're not going to do, but anything can happen. Let's just say you do that. You know, and then you don't win the Super Bowl. What was all the fucking talk about? Huh?

You know what the deal is? If you give Rex Ryan a fucking defense, this is what I loved. When Rex Ryan had a defense with the Jets and he had a game manager quarterback, he talked all this shit, yada, yada. I'm going to win the fucking Super Bowl, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, even beat the Patriots at home in the playoffs. Kicked our ass if I remember correctly, right? Then all of a sudden all those players left and then Rex Ryan didn't talk shit anymore and they were sitting there going, I think Rex has learned his lesson. You know, he's a little older, he's a little more mature, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And now look at him. No, he wasn't. He kept his fucking mouth shut because he didn't have the team to do it. So now all of a sudden he's got a defense again and look at him. Way the fuck out in Western fucking New York. Buffalo, Buffalo, one of those one professional sports towns. You only got one fucking team and don't even bring up the savers. You fucking assholes. You never even been to a Stanley Cup final.

Oh, that's right. You did. After further review, the goal counts. Why am I doing this to you guys? I actually like Buffalo. I really enjoy that town. I don't know what the fucking problem is out there. Maybe if I lived there every day and I was out there with a bunch of miserable cunts that were sick of buffalo wings and there was nothing else out to eat there other than some nachos or some salads. I have no idea. I don't know what your fucking problem is. Hey, people of Buffalo, why don't you fucking grow up? All right, we're in the same division. We're playing each other two times a year and for the last fucking time. Okay, I know you don't understand this because your teams never won a Super Bowl. If you win a game in September, it doesn't mean shit. So there's really no reason to be sitting here talking shit and all that. All right, so I love it that you're doing it. I love that Rex is doing it and the fan base is going to take on Rex Ryan's personality.

You know what I mean? I actually think if I had to guess if there was going to be any head coach in the professional league to go from being Rex to being... What's a woman's name? It begins with an R. Rashida. What's a white woman's name? Nia. A white woman's name is R. Because of our Rachel. No, there's black Rachel's too. Well, I mean, you can name a white baby Rachel and nobody freaks out. They're like, oh, I get it, yeah. Nobody would freak out if you named a black baby Rachel. What is wrong with you? I'm just saying.

Can I ask a question though? Is this what it means to be a sports fan is just to antagonize other sports fans who aren't a fan of your particular team that you support? Is this like nonstop antagonizing? In the words of John Rambo, they drew first blood. They drew first blood. I wasn't talking about it. Shedemann complimented Buffalo the whole fucking year ago. They got a nice defense. I think Rex Ryan's the perfect guy. The poking ad and the reminding of how they didn't go to the Stanley Cup or if they did, they didn't win. It's that kind of needling antagonizing. Yeah, it's just like the real housewives with a dash left less like cuntiness. You know, you guys instead... There's plenty of cuntiness in the sports fandom, no?

We don't go like, you know, that's why you had an abortion and your fucking baby's got three thumbs. The kind of shit that people say to the players. Remember when we watched that 60 minute thing? It was all about how like, you know, there's a certain generation that feels like they can't take their kids to ball games anymore because the amount of like just vitriol and hatred coming from the stands. That was just a story. So then they took... Oh, it was a story. So it wasn't a real thing. It wasn't the thing that happens where people are up there and they're like, go fuck you. That's why, you know, bubba, like they're just saying all this horrible personal shit. They're screaming it at players. No, this is what it was. That was the point they wanted to prove. So they went out and got footage to prove it.

They think it's bad now. Dude, it was fucking animals when I was growing up. People are getting stab still at fucking games and stuff. No, they're not. What happened at Dodger Stadium a few years ago? Didn't that guy get stabbed? Look, look, Nia, look. What happened on Sally, Jesse, Raphael? Did one fucking guest kill another guest? I mean, you're going to have those moments. You're talking about Jenny Jones and it was like 30 years ago. But it happened. I'm talking about stuff that is happening currently today.

Okay. That thing that happened at the Dodger Stadium wasn't that long ago. That was like three years ago. That's not currently today. I feel like it's pretty current versus something that happened on... It's like two home games a fucking year. Why can't you just... Over 10 years is almost a thousand fucking home games. You're not. You just can't admit that people, like there are a certain...

I'm not saying all, hashtag not all sports fans. I'm just saying there's not a certain section of sports fans that will yell the most inappropriate, disgusting, horrible things at the players. Philly's pretty bad. Philly's pretty bad. But generally speaking now, Nia, you go to games and they have like people like they won't let you go to your fucking seat while the ball's in play and you have to stand there while some old lady holds up a sign that says not yet. And then finally turns around and says, okay, now, now you can go. That happened at the Roland Garros and the other. Yeah, the tennis event.

That's snooty shit. That's it like games now. Unless you go to like an old stadium, like the old stadium kind of has like the old guard, but there's not a lot of old stadiums left. Like, I will say this, like fans on the West Coast are fucking lunatics. Like out in California, like I don't like going to games. Because you're afraid you're going to get stabbed in the parking lot? No, I just feel like I'm just not literally get stabbed. It's just, it's not a fun environment.

Like I used to wear my red socks shit to Yankee Stadium before we won the World Series and I got a ton of shit. But once they saw that, you know, I was good natured about it or whatever, and then they'd be like, hey, what's up, man? How long are you in the city? Oh, you live down here? Blah, blah, they were cool. But out in California, that turn never happens. It's just you're wearing the other team stuff and fuck you, you're a bitch, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's just nonstop, nonstop, nonstop.

And it's like, you know, even if you wear a buddy of mine, Jason Lawyer, Jason Lawyer had worn Indians Jersey to a Dodgers game one time and the Dodgers. Were they playing the Indians? No. And this guy was, you know, take that fucking thing. Holy shit. I don't understand that. Like, yeah, what is that about that fuck that, that like I hate you because you are a fan of another team. Like I automatically hate you.

It's like they're taking that competitiveness that's obviously supposed to be on the field, drives the whole game and the whole business and they're like internalizing it. It's the male version of Real Housewives. You know, I have a friend named Joy who actually says the same thing. She actually feels like that's our sort of version of sports. And I always counter, but women like sports as well. So I don't really feel like it's the girl version of sports because women like sports and play sports. Can I tell you something? Finding a woman that likes sports is like it's a, it's a diamond in the rough.

Like when you find them, like that's a big thing with guys, don't add, she's into sports. She fucking loves them. I mean, that's like unbelievable. Okay. What do you mean? Okay. No, I mean, okay. No, no, no.

Your first okay wasn't like that. I mean, if you say so, I just, There you go. That's what you see. Your first okay was in your point is, and then you try to be like, oh, okay. That first okay was how you felt. It's just funny to me that that's like, that's, that's like a thing and she likes sports. Yeah.

And she's into the, that's like, you'd be like, Annie, Annie likes going to brunch. I would never say that. That would never be. And he's into reality TV. Yeah. It's still not a thing that I would like me to check off a list. Well, isn't that convenient. I'm being excited about it.

And he loves the real housewives. That's a big thing. Yeah. Some of our biggest arguments have been the bullshit fucking horrific moronic TV that you watch. I guess if reality TV was that much out of my life, talking to a mighty understand amplification of sound. Oh no, I'm sorry.

I've been like on the stage for the past like 25 years. So no, I guess I don't understand how microphones work. Well, I guess you don't cause you keep fucking taking your head away from it. I don't know what you had to attack me in my career for saying this is like your 1000th guest spot. How many times are you going to be like, I just moved away for a second. When I do it, it's for comedic effect. I just feel like you're trying to mentor you about that.

Oh, are you trying to mentor yourself with this as a mentorship? I have to. I am the sexiest mentorship I've ever had. No, I'm trying. I have to be like the guy who records it in the guy, the sound guy at the same time. Wow, you really wearing a lot of hats. We're really wearing a lot of hats on this podcast that you're doing in your underwear. Yep.

Not my underwear. You were a regular old. No, you've got white shorts on when I just realized that there's ventilation in the inner thigh and the crotch area. Look at this all the way across. These are tennis shorts. So you got to get some air in that. That's right.

You got to make sure your balls are breathing while you try to win a grand slam. All right. Are you done? I guess. Are you done shitting on me? Yep. You can't fuck with me. Actually speaking of, yes.

Go ahead. Yeah. The week I had, I don't give a fuck what you say to me. You really feel like you're just on like this whole other level now, which you know what? You kind of are. No, I don't. No, but you are though. I'm smiling like a make a wish kid.

That was a once in a lifetime experience you had. Which one? Oh, Jesus. See, this is where you start becoming a douchebag. What? You're mad at me because I had a great fucking week? Are you mad at me that I moved away from the mic in like the perfect way just now? No, I'm not.

That was actually great though. That is great though. I had a great fucking week. Yes. Why don't you tell the people about your week? If they haven't heard already, because it's all over the news, honey. And I love how you resent it on some level. I don't resent it.

Yeah, you do. You know what I resent? I resent making the decision not to go. Because I was tired and I had to pack. I'm upset about that. If you went, I would have had video of the whole fucking song. Alright, here's two things that happened this week. One, Thursday night, a week ago, Queens of the Stone Age was getting ready for a tour.

So they were doing like a tune-up show. You know those secret shows you always hear about? Like, oh my god, Queens of the Stone Age, Prince just played in front of 40 people down in a coffee house. You didn't hear about it? And I never hear about it. I never hear about it. I'm like, what? Yeah, I could have got you in, dude.

You don't follow him on fucking Instagram. I don't even know how people find out about those fucking things. I don't know how either. I guess people who are really into one particular thing like Prince, they're following his every move. They're like, googling him all the time. They're just subscribing to the websites or whatever it is. No, but whenever there's a band that can sell out like a fucking stadium, and then they're going to go play some Waffle House,

they're always like, the hipsters, they see somehow they know. And I never fucking know. And I'm just like, you fucking saw them? Yeah, the guy was standing like fucking two feet away. It was awesome. He did like two hours. And in the end, they gave everybody a hug and shit. That is a hipster thing.

That's part of being a hipster is being hip to all the shit that's going on. That's going on. Right. A lot of the shit they hip to is actually pretty nice, like a lot of the food that they like. Anyways, so I got to open for them on that show, which was the most insane thing ever. And I played drums.

I'm a total drum geek. So I got to stand at the side of the stage and watch John Theodore playing. John Theodore. Yeah. All of those. It was, they were fucking unbelievable. They were incredible. And Josh Haami is, he's just the coolest.

He's the coolest guy ever. All I know. All I know this is when I watched that band play. Yeah. I was, I was immediately thinking I have to get better as a comedian. Like that. I was just like, I don't do what I do at the level of these guys are doing what they're doing.

They were fucking unreal. I never saw them live before. I heard a couple of their songs, but like they are, they are an incredible band. No, I wanted to see them forever. Tremendous musicians. I wanted to see them forever. And like most huge bands, when they play and they come through LA, it's on a Saturday night.

When you're working. Yeah. And I'm usually out of town. And like, that's the story. And I'm like, dude, you want to go to this? And I'm like, I'd love to go. Oh, but I'm playing, you know, Uncle fuckies and God knows where. And then I'm never.

What did the security? I'm never there. The road manager. No, who was it? The guy that we met. Oh, I'm forgetting his name now. Bill at the. Oh, another bill.

Jesus Christ. Um, he said, what did he say that you were playing? Oh, yeah. He had the best fake name for a comedy club. It wasn't. It wasn't Yuck Yucks. It was Yacky's or something. Yacky Yucks.

It said you playing Yacky Yucks. Yeah. Which was hilarious to me because that wasn't even funny. It just meant like you're up there just running you. Yep. But it was great. Yeah. So anyways.

So you opened for Queens and the Stone Age. And the reason why that came about was because of Dean Del Ray. Dean Del Ray. Dean Del Ray, who got into a brutal motorcycle accident, who's he's actually all right. But he's okay. Thank God. Who has fucking road rash.

Like, I mean, yeah. Saving private Ryan level fucking road rash. Dude is brutal. He got hit by someone who carjacked the fucking Escalade and came on the highway. And he said to me, he goes, he goes, you know what's funny? He goes, I was just thinking right before I got hit because it was nobody on the road going, ah, man, what a beautiful day to ride. And he was going over Marin's house to have lunch or something.

Oh, really? This person came on the highway on the left hand side, I think, and just went across four lanes. Thank God he's okay, though. Oh, yeah. No, he almost lost. If he said if it was a foot like it clipped his back tire, then he high sided and sent him flying.

But shout out to Dean Delray for hookin' that up. So through Dean, I got to know John and then John asked me. Yeah. He said, hey, he goes, we're doing this show. He goes, would you want to come down and do it? Now, opening for bands is death, is fucking death, usually death. So that can be really bad because it's just like. They tried it a little bit, but you handled it well.

Yeah, that one lady. So I was like, you know, you know, the smart part of me was going like, no, no, no, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. It's going to suck. Right. And you did it.

Something else was like. And it was amazing. Yeah. So that was Thursday. Except for that one lady. Except for that one lady. She was drunk and everybody around her hated her. And she was going, she's going.

Shut the fuck up. Oh my God. The people around her were so pissed off. They were so annoyed. And like there was like this collective embarrassment you feel when someone is just absolutely unabashedly. You know, I handled that nakedly making an ass of themselves. This is all I did.

Embarrassed. And then you feel rage. This is all I did was I trashed her. You know, blah, blah, blah. Oh my God. Somebody's going to marry that the usual way that she's going to be a nightmare. That was good.

But then someone's going to marry. No, but then the panic clock was turned on. I didn't show it on my face, but internally I'm like, all right. Right now that woman is annoying people, but in about three more jokes, they're going to start to see your point. So I need to leave. And they're going to be like, yeah, you know what? She's right.

We didn't come down here to see you freckled albino cunt. Get off the stage. So I did like one more little thing. And then I got out of there and then I was able to sit down and watch the show and it was, oh man, Jesus Christ. It's phenomenal. Jesus Christ. It was really fun.

Yeah. I'll tell you this right now. If you never see Queens of the Stone Age live, you do it. You are an asshole. Even if you don't think that you like Queens of the Stone Age, just go do it. If you're not into that kind of music or whatever the fuck you're saying, please go see them. There's something about seeing like, even music that you feel like you don't

like, when you see it live, I feel like it turned, like if I went to a country, I don't, generally speaking, I'm not into country music. That's not true. Because when I went to Lady Gaga, I was still like, no, this stinks. No, because that's you and you being you. She came out on a fucking horse, man. Yes. That horse.

That poor horse. That horse was so beautiful. That horse is on the road. Road horse. Yeah. Road horse. You know, it's getting shitty oats and stuff. Okay.

So that was Thursday. And then on Saturday. So it's Saturday. All right. So all right. This is this is if you're we could get more rock and roll. I know. And I have no business because at the end of the day, I look like Ron Howard.

Oh my God. So, uh, on, um, I don't know. It's some part of the week. This is actually an effort is for family promo. Uh-huh. The guy was one of the guys who's doing the music for the efforts for family cartoon is Dave Kushner, who played in Velvet Revolver. All right.

Yes. So those guys have been doing some sick ass job. Someone else we saw live in LA at the Wiltern. Yeah. We saw Velvet Revolver. Yes, we did. They were great. Yes, we did.

It was like one of Scott's last performances with them. Yes. So anyways, so he was doing. You know, he's been doing the music for it. So anyways, he puts together a lot of benefits. So he's putting together this benefit thing for, uh, for some public school or something. I didn't know what it was, but he goes, Hey, you know, all these guys are going to be down here playing.

Do you want a nice opportunity for you to plug the charity? Yeah. No, that's the thing too. I never, that's another thing too. You play all these charities and I'm like, Oh, what was the charity for you? I don't know. But you do it because it's rich because you hear it's for charity and you do it because you're a good person.

You have a good heart, but you damned. If you know, I've done so much bad shit in my life, I got to balance out my karma. So all I do is right before I go on stage, I always look on my go, what is this for again? And then they tell me what it's for. And then I just make sure I steer clear. I don't go out there and make a reference to that. And then I just go out and do, you know, the other 99% of my act.

You're like a pop star that doesn't know what city she's in. And she's like, what's up Chicago? And she's in Cleveland. I don't know what disease it's for, but I know it's a disease and we want to stop it. Isn't it enough that I showed up for free? You can fucking sit there. Next thing you know, you're going to tell me their fault. You don't know what charity.

All right. I never know. Some of the funniest things I've ever seen, some of the funniest ones I've ever seen is when commerce go on stage and they don't know what the benefits for and they're killing, killing, killing. And then they start doing a bit that has to do, you know, and then everyone gets all quiet. Yeah.

Like, yeah, they somehow make an autism reference or a cancer or they do something. And then the crowd totally pulls back. And the greatest is when they're so early into their career, they don't understand why. And they're like, yeah, what the fuck's your guys problem? Jesus Christ. What did everybody? Everybody have an autistic baby here? Huh?

Like they don't even know what's going on. Oh my God. Can you imagine? Yeah. And then the person like, like directing is in the back like, ah, ah, cut off the mic. Cut off the mic, right? But what's funny is when you get a season comic and they do it, you see the look on their face and they'll be like, oh fuck.

And then they'll literally ask, is this a benefit for cancer? And I was like, yes. I'm sorry. Sorry. I didn't know. I'm fucking sorry. I'm the worst person ever. So anyways.

Mike Lagnes. Charity. Huh? Mike Lagnes. What do you mean Mike Lagnes? Weren't we talking about how you were getting involved? Kushner. Oh.

Lagnes works at Wild West. Oh, sorry. Hey Mike, you got a shout out. So anyways, so Kushner goes, hey man, all these fucking guys are going to be there. Blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, he knows that I play drums and then I'm like, you know, I'm a fucking nerd. I'm a nerd. I'm a drum nerd, right?

So he goes, you want to come down and watch these guys play? And I'm like, yeah, fuck yeah. You know, I'm working the comedy store later. Let's let's fucking do it. So like two days before the event, he texted me and he goes, he goes, hey dude, would you want to sit in and play a song? And of course I want to. But I'm like, I'm not going to be that fucking asshole.

Where it's just like you got all these studio level and professional guys. I'm not going to be the fucking guy coming there. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I'm not going to be that fucking guy. Just embarrassing. And then just fucking tolerating me. It's like I'm not fucking doing that shit. Yeah.

So he writes back, he goes, nah, they don't give a fuck. They don't give a shit. Come if you want to play, go ahead and fucking play. He goes, but I'm not going to be that guy who pressures you or whatever. So I say fine. So once again, I'm driving around and it's like two days before the thing. And I was like, oh, Bill, stop being such a fucking bitch. Most of this is the reason why you say no is not out of respect for the professional musicians.

It's because you're being a fucking pussy right now. So I said, so I text them. You were scared. Right, I was. I'm like, I was scared. I would have been scared too. So I said, I texted him. I said, fuck it, let's do it.

So he goes, he writes back, oh shit, right? And he goes, all right, learn a whole lot of love. See you on Saturday. And it's Thursday. A whole lot of love. I've never been able to play that fucking song. Right. Fucking Bonham starts all the fills on like three goes over the bar comes back.

I mean, I can't and I'm trying. So I start, I go to the drum room and I'm fucking would shed in this shit. Right. And I cannot. He's got this thing. Right. And it's four and one. I can never fucking.

I can't. I can't fucking do it. I can't fucking do it. So finally I got, I ripped off two of his fills and I was like, all right. I'm playing these two fills 60 fucking times during this song. And I'm going to hope nobody notices. So fortunately, like a day before the event Kushner text me and he goes, hey man, we're just going to do highway to hell.

And I was like, thank God, that's a much easier. It's slower too. Right. It's more like that. I don't think there's really any fills in it. There's a couple of places where you stop and then it starts again or whatever. Okay. And really quickly in fills is when they're, it's like that.

Like, are you talking about? Okay. Yeah. So anyway, so I fucking, you know, dust off that fucking song. Right. And that's a song I used to play with two of my brothers back in the day when I was in my parent's basement. Right.

And we still, that's one of the songs that we used to butcher was highway to hell. So I'm like, that's kind of cool. We're going to fucking play this song. So I show up to the event and he's got all like, you know, it's like it's some fucking tennis club or some shit. It's like some real rich people kind of thing. And the kind of people that need charity. No, no, they were doing it for public schools.

They weren't doing it for themselves. American greed. They have charities for themselves. So anyway, so I show up and like, like the bands playing and everybody there is a fucking monster. So as I'm meeting the people, I'm then like trying to come fucking Google in their shit. You know, and it was the people that was Kushner, Frankie Perez, who sang and he plays in this apocalyptic or something like that.

This Finland psycho fucking string band, amazing voice sang in slashes band. I think those finish and Swedish and like they're really into like they don't fuck around. They love that fucking death metal music. I think it's called they don't fuck around. They're really, really, they really embrace the idea. I think of like death. It's a part of life. It happens and just rock out to it.

I don't know. I'm always fascinated with that with them. That's because they sit in like 23 hours of darkness for like six months of the fucking year. And negative, you know, 20 degree weather. Yeah. So then Chris life is a cold, dark hell. Yeah.

Chris. Jenny's there. The bass player from James Addiction since 2002. He's fucking playing. Very cool. And then the drummer. I hope he says his name right. Todd.

Watzig. I got it written down here. He like does like blue man group and all these Vegas. So like big time studio guy monster was playing. Can basically play anything. Yeah. Was playing all this Keith moonshit wasn't staying. And then this other studio guy, Andrew Watt and these guys are fucking slaying it.

Is that true though? You know, we were saying the guy that does blue man group, those kind of musicians who do play like a variety of different gigs, like they really can't play everything. Right. And that's why they get hired all the time because they're versatile and they can just Yeah. I think they think there's like, you're the band guy or then you're like the studio guy.

When the studio guy is like, you don't know who you're going to be playing with. So you have to, you don't just know your band's catalog. Like these guys can play all these different styles. They're, they're, whether you're in a band or whatever, you get to that fucking level of your beast. So these guys, so I show up and these guys, you know, they're fucking around and then they start playing. And I was like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

And then I start feeling like, you know, and I was like, why did I say yes to this? I'm so stupid. I could have just been here and enjoyed it. Right. So anyway, so then we go up, they go, hey, Bill, you want to, you know, they blow through all these fucking songs, the whole lot of love, the fucking won't get fooled again, all of this shit, fucking destroy it. And then I go up, this is just during the sound check and there's like nobody there

at this tennis club. Right. And I keep thinking of good fellas, you know, when he went, he met the fuck, he met Karen and, you know, and he gives them that little fucking half ass, that jerk off handshake, foreshadowing that he was going to get along with them. So anyway, so I went up and we play this fucking song and it went good. It sounded good. And they're like, all right, man, that sounds all right.

They go, you want to play it again? I was like, no, no, I'm cool. I'm cool. And they go, all right, shows at nine, come back then. So, you know, I had heard that slash and duff will maybe going to be there. Right. But you didn't know, you know, whatever, whatever. So anyway, it's long story fucking short.

I, I come back at nine o'clock and now all of a sudden there's a bunch of people there. So the nerves are even higher. Yeah. And now these guys aren't doing sound check. Now they're not fucking around. Now they're doing the show and the show starts and they're just fucking ripping, killing it, fucking killing it. And the songs are just whipping by and with each song that's going by, like I see on the

set list, they're going to do Roadhouse Blues and I know that I'm next. So I'm like, oh, fuck, I'm going to be next though. Jesus Christ. Why did I say yes to this? I'm like, fill, run, fill, run, two, four, just two, four. Don't fuck it up. Just don't look up at anybody and just plow through it. You'll be done.

Right. So they finished Roadhouse Blues and then I come sort of sneak up onto the bandstand there and, you know, Todd leaves and I sit down behind the kit. And as I sit down, everybody else in the band just like walked off the stage except for Dave and Frankie, the singer. And I'm like, dude, what the fuck? And Christian goes, hey, we got a special guest. We got a special guest on this one.

He goes, it turns like, oh, it's already back. He goes on drum. We got Bill Burr. It was the funniest, the funniest clap ever. Like everybody was just like, wait, why is this special? I think my face turned red. I wanted to crawl under the stool. It was like, I got a better round of applause when I was doing like open mics in front of

eight people. And they would just keep it going for this next guy, Bill Burr. And they did. Dude, it was fucking. And I'm thinking like, what the fuck's going on here? And then he goes, yeah, I got a couple other friends are going to help us out on this one. And then they just fucking walked out of the crowd. Slash, Slash and Duff and I was, I'm getting like nervous.

Tell us right now. And they came on the fucking stage. And Duff's already really tall. So now he looks like nine feet fucking tall. Yeah. And he shakes my hand. I'm like, hey. And then there's fucking Slash.

Oh my God. I cannot believe. And then, and this is the best part. I couldn't go to this. So Kushner and Frankie turn around and they're just laughing at the stunned look on my face. And I have all of three seconds I felt to take this in. And then Slash just goes. And I was like, oh my God.

And I used to play this fucking song with my brothers. And the basement and Slash is standing when one brother stood and Duff's with the other and then Kushner's over. And they're just in Frankie's looking back at me laughing at me. And I didn't remember what I just fucking just put my head down. Like, what the fuck? You know, I really wish you guys could see Bill's face right now. Like his eyes are shining. He has the biggest smell.

There's like a glow rating for me. I can tell this is one of the top experiences of your life. It's over. It's over. You have like pure joy on your face. No, no, it's done. It's so awesome to see that. It's done.

I'm done. That's it. I love it. No, that is, you can't top that. I cannot top that. And I don't give a fuck either. No, that's awesome. I'm happy for you.

I'm so excited that that happened. I'm so, I can't even believe I missed it, but that's okay. Cause that was your moment in your, your memory. So. Yeah. And there's video. So it does. It's, it's still will live forever.

So the sickest fucking part was in the end when the band cuts out. I'm on the highway. And then he's got, you know, Frankie and I'm going down all the way. And then there's the end where he goes, wow. And then there's like the, the cymbal wash starts and the strumming of the guitars. So I got to give the cue. So when the band cuts out and I'm going that all the way and then Duffin slash Kushner, basically velvet revolver turns around and looks at me.

Dude, I almost fell off. I almost fell off the back of the fucking school. That's amazing. Yeah. I will never be able to believe that that fucking happened. I can't fucking believe it. Can't fucking believe it. And, and it's funny cause the song is like three minutes long.

And I, it's weird. Like, I don't remember it. I remember every fucking second of it. So thank you to, to Kushner and Frankie, cause they basically set it up. And that was, I sent Kushner a text. I said, dude, 23 years in this business, 47 years on the planet. There's nothing, nothing can fucking that I've never had a feeling like that ever. Ever.

I mean, I had to go back to maybe the first time I ever did stand up and I was so fucking psyched that I did it, but it was different. Yeah. This was, it was different than, you know, No, you're playing in a band with like your heroes, like in like rock gods, rock royalty, like legit rock gods. So yeah, that's an amazing thing. I can't believe I missed it.

You know how much I love slash. God, No, but I fucked you over cause, cause I said, cause, cause Kushner one point said, Hey, maybe you could jam a slash in those guys. And I was just like, fuck yeah, I'd love to do that. But then when I went to the sound check, they weren't there and we, I ran the song with the other guys. So you were going, I'm feeling kind of tired.

And I go, And I said, I have to pack and I said, yeah, I don't think it's going to happen. I go, I think I'm going on early and then they're going to close it out. So, you know, And I remember I said to you, I'm like, are you sure? Like it's not annoying that you were like, no, no, no, I'm just going to be in and out of there. It's fine.

It's just for the charity. It'll be cool. It'll be really quick. I'll go do my other set. I'll come home. That's it. And, uh, So there you go.

There you go. So that fucking happened. And, uh, No, that's incredible. Yeah. Over. Over. It's done.

Watched away anything I've ever fucking accomplished. Ever. Can we also talk about how earlier today that you said that you were basically Inval- Inval- Inval- In that moment. Three-four.

In that moment. In that moment. I was. I took over from that. So I'm in my head. In my head. And Frankie took over lead vocals. I stand by that.

My ego is completely in check. Hey, I got to do, I got to do some, I got to do some, the advertising for this week. And then we'll play some classic stuff here. All right. Everybody.

Uh, hey. Hey. Hey. You like making great money, right? Here's a really cool opportunity I had to share with you. This always starts off like it's a drug deal. Like, hey, hey, man. You like making good money, right?

Come on down the alley. You got a car and a driver's license? Driving with Uber. How old are you? Uber's that popular smartphone. You know fucking Amazon sent me a fucking email, Nia? Saying they might click, they're going to close my account by October 31st.

If I, cause I never filled out the thing that said I wasn't interacting or wasn't trying to interact with people 13 years of age or lower. What? On my website, on my website, like I do the Amazon link, like if you go into Amazon,

if you just click the link and you go there, it doesn't cost you any money, but Amazon kicks me a little bit of money for driving traffic to their site. Yes. And then I take 10% of that. Yes. And then I go to...

Wounded Warriors. Not Wounded Warriors anybody, because somebody told me that was a little sketchy. Is that sketchy? I have no idea. I don't know how to figure it out, but I found that St. Jude's is good. Well, I don't think we should say Wounded Warriors is sketchy.

I don't know if they are, but I find like... I feel like we shouldn't say that. I feel like Wounded Warriors, I want to walk up to the wounded guy and give him the money directly, because I just feel like with the infrastructure... Give him an envelope?

Yeah. Like in the mafia? Why not? Sure. If you're going to locate all the Wounded Warriors and then personally hand it to them. No, but I figure like whatever I'm going to give... But this is what these organizations are for.

Whatever I give helps one guy. Why don't I just... One woman, why don't I just walk up to that one person? So there's no infrastructure. And how do you propose... I'll pay the gas money. How do you propose that's going to work though? I got a podcast.

I just said it. Okay, so everybody reaches out to me. So everybody's going to email me and like, and claim to be a Wounded Warrior. And then I'll have like a little, like one of those game shows, because everybody's naming it and I'll fucking cry it out.

Like a bingo. Yeah. I'll pull it out. And the winner is... Yeah, but they can't... And all the fucking money I'm giving goes to you. But they can't prove that they're wounded by interacting with them on the internet.

That's why you have Wounded Warriors and organizations like that. Like, because how are you going to know? Are you going to like do a home visit and then look around and be like, hmm, all right. And then whip out your checkbook. You know, you really just took all the sunshine

out of that, didn't you? Sorry. Anyways. So Amazon goes, you never filled out something that basically said that your website is not interacting with people under like 13 years of age. I don't know if they listened to the podcast

and was fucking like me saying cunt and all this stuff and they're like, what about children? Oh, so people who don't like cursing? I don't know what it is. So now we're going to... Maybe not like Amazon for business with you? Yeah. So now they made me feel all creepy.

Well, why don't you just say that you're not interacting with 13-year-olds? Well, why don't they fucking ask me from the beginning and then not fucking come at me later? Like you never said that. It's like, dude, you never fucking asked me. What do you mean? I thought you said they did ask you to say that.

No. They just sent me a random email out of nowhere going, you never said this. It's like, dude, you never fucking asked me. Well, did you answer it? No. I haven't till the 31st. No.

Fuck you. So what are we talking about? I'm talking about them not asking the question and then coming at me like I'm some sort of fucking weirdo. I think you're taking it a little too personally. It isn't personally. You don't have somebody on the internet going, are you or are you not interacting with 13-

aimed at 13-year-olds? Yeah, it's fucking weird. Fuck you, Amazon. You fucking jerk-offs. No. Oh, what are they going to do? Don't. Yeah, what are they going to do?

I don't know. The webs, what are they going to do? Not send me boxes of shit that I don't need? Fucking assholes. You want to send your packages by drones? Huh? Do they really? Yeah, a bunch of toilet covers flying past your fucking house.

So they can save money so they don't have to have some guy drive it? You know what? Fuck Amazon and fuck the fucking link. All right, Uber, everybody. You are never going to have another advertiser sponsor you again. You realize that, right? I don't do it because of that.

That's true. You do it for the fans, man. I do it because it's fun. If you're dumb enough to fucking advertise on my podcast, just with my reading skills alone, I've already compared the Uber app to like fucking drug dealers. I don't give a shit here. I don't give a shit.

I live within my means. I'm wearing tennis shorts. A Nantucket. You're such a rebel. I drive an eight-year-old. You're such a rebel, Bill. I drive an eight-year-old. And you're tennis shorts on the island of Nantucket.

You stop telling these maniacs where I am? Oh, sorry. That's one of the rules. You never tell them that. You just, you leave them like, why is he wearing tennis shorts? Why would he be doing that? This guy's even weirder than I thought.

I have to keep listening. Once you go, oh, he's on fucking Nantucket. Then they go, oh, now it all makes sense. Now they're not listening. And Uber loses money. All right. Hey, guys, you like making great money, right? Here's a really cool opportunity I evidently had to share with you.

Driving with Uber. Uber's that populace. My phone app that connects riders with drivers. I take Uber a bunch. Did you know that, Nia? I love them, by the way. Oh, boy, oh, boy. Oh, my God.

Nothing I like better than getting into a complete stranger's car that isn't regulated by any sort of government fucking entity. Hey, buddy, how are you? Let's roll the dice again. Some of them have really interesting stories as to why they drive with Uber. Fucking broke, man. I don't make enough money at my other job.

Jesus Christ is that interesting. They love being their own boss. Don't they work for Uber? They earn great money. Well, their cars are halfway decent. They must be investing it in real estate. It's easy to start. This happened because you're here.

You just need a car and a license. Exactly. No other background check, is there? Driving with Uber. Got off on a murder, a technicality. Hey, welcome to Uber. Driving with Uber is great for anyone who needs flexibility. Parents, this is a really easy way

to work around your family schedule. Students, you can make some extra money between classes. Doesn't that sound filthy? Now's the prime time to catch in with driving with Uber. You'll thank me for telling you how to get paid every week. I could be getting into your car when you drive with Uber. Call to action. You got a car and a license.

Put them both to work for you and start earning serious life-changing money today. Sign up to Drive With Uber. Visit drivewithuber.com. That's Drive With U-B-E-R.com. DriveWithUber.com. All right. Blue Apron.

It's okay. You can admit it. I don't like how they put you on the defensive. It's okay. You could admit it. What are we talking about here? The last thing anyone wants to do after work is wait and line at the grocery store,

schlep home and cook a complicated meal. I can admit that. Okay. Well, evidently, it's okay with Blue Apron. An expensive, unhealthy takeout is hardly better. That's where this new service, Blue Apron, comes in. Blue Apron delivers farm fresh ingredients and step-by-step recipes to your home,

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M-E-I-T-A-K-E. M-E-T-A-K-E in corn. How do you say that? I don't know. Well, they don't exhale like you know what's going on. No, I'm just saying. You could look at it beforehand. Barbecued roast pork with corn on the cob,

potato salad and quick pickles. What the fuck are those? Must be little ones. Why don't you a quick little fucker? You'll cook incredible meals and be blown away by the quality and the freshness. Blue Apron, it's a better way to cook. Check out this week's menu

and get your first two meals for free by going to blueapron.com. My treat, really. The first two meals are on me when you go to blueapron.com. Oh, I got another one here. Next issue. Your time is precious,

and you want to feed your mind with the best of what's out there. But who has the time to sift through all this shit? All the nonsense on the internet. For those of us who want premium content and don't have time to waste finding it, there's next issue, issue, issue, issue. Next issue is the mobile app.

They'll let you tap directly into the world's most popular magazines anytime, anywhere using your smartphone or tablet. They've got all your favorites like Sports Illustrated, Maxim and fucking Esquire. And next issue lets you dive deeper into the stories of interactive content not available anywhere else. What is that Ford pass about? Giving you a richer reading experience.

Dude, Sports Illustrated, Maxim and Esquire? That's just, yeah, that's airport shit. The best part, next issue is offering a free trial right now when you go to nextissue.com. Sign up for next issue right now. You'll get immediate access to all of the top, these top magazines including back issues and exclusive videos and photos.

Again, you can try next issue for free right now when you go to nextissue.com. That's actually really smart because less people are buying magazines these days. So if you can put them all together, god damn it. All it takes is one brilliant idea like that. Companies like that and Blue Apron, that was the first time I really listened to that advertising.

All it takes is one brilliant idea everybody as opposed to the run-of-the-mill shit that I think of every day. Well, you think of like 50 things and one of them will be brilliant, hopefully. Hopefully. All right, well that's the podcast. The Thursday afternoon just before Monday, just checking in on your podcast. I hope you had a good time listening this week. I hope you have a wonderful weekend

and I will talk to you again on Monday. Here's a wonderful throwback episode from some Monday a long time ago. And to the doctor who's just another clown. Don't stay the love you might turn to stone. I'm sure there is a bill for that. You run your own. Can't you see what it's doing to me?

All I want to be is by your side. I don't care now that I cut my hair. Now, if you're new to my podcast last week, I was saying how come miles per gallon on gas, on cars, sorry, has been, has basically been the same since the 70s. So people were trying to suggest to me that cars weighed more back in the 70s.

And I said, get the fuck out of here. Those goddamn led back in the day they had metal bumpers and full-sized spares. Get the fuck out of here. Remember when we had like a 72 or 73 Buick Regal, two door and it took me and one of my brothers, all of our might to open that fucking car doors. Like open the goddamn like a bank vault.

But two things I forgot to do. One, actually look up the stats and two, realize that I was like fucking six years old when I was trying to open it. You know, you ever think that shit when you think it doesn't really snow as much as it used to, which it probably doesn't, but as far as like the storms. Remember, you're like, dude, back in the day it was up to my waist.

Yeah. And you were about three feet tall. That's why. That's why. That's why it seemed so fucking deep because you could barely look over a coffee table. Anyway, so I'll give you guys that one. I'll give you guys that one, okay?

And I would actually love to be wrong on this one. But I just don't think I am. Even though I was wrong, that cars weighed more in the 70s. And people show me a bunch of stats because God knows I'm not going to look at them. All right. And people, by the way, who actually said that I really sounded like a moron last week,

may I invite you to listen to the first four years of this podcast and just see the reoccurring theme that that is. Okay, I don't read. It makes me sleepy. I've stated that before. I don't fucking read. All right, I go with my gut. Okay.

I'll tell you this right now. I don't know how to fill a tooth, but I can go in and look at a dentist in real, and I can fucking judge that guy whether or not he's telling me the truth. Does that make any sense? Of course it doesn't. Go fuck yourself.

I got a goddamn hour to fill here. This is the problem I have with people who are defending the oil companies here is basically when you go back to the 70s, and you prove to me that cars, they weigh more now. Okay? So you're right on that one. But your logic though is still based in

that the oil companies were telling the truth in 1976 that whatever, 35 miles per gallon was the best that we could do. So you use that as a jump off point to then prove your point now that that's why cars get the gas mileage that they get today. Is basically I have to make the leap with you that oil companies are telling the truth. That this $350 billion industry, okay,

that is on numerous occasions openly got in the way of any sort of progress. I remember here out in California, I think it was the late 90s. It might have been 20 years ago. I can't remember it was before I moved out here the first time or right after I left. The air quality out here was so fucking horrific.

I know a lot of people still think it's real smoggy out here. It definitely gets smoggy, but usually just in the summertime. It's definitely hazy out here, but haze is not fucking smog. Smog is brown. You go hiking and you feel a burning in your fucking chest back in the day in the late 90s, okay? You could see this shit.

So anyway, so they put this, they put it to the vote for a people, to the people who actually would vote on this shit. And they passed this bill that said by the year 2000, whatever, 25% or 30% of cars had to run on something other than the gas oil, basically the gas combustion engine.

They basically paved the way for the big three and then basically start making electric cars. The fucking thing passed and oil companies got together with their lobbyists and they just totally dismantled the whole thing and the whole thing fucking went away. Okay? Which? For all you people out there who are going to explain capitalism to me,

I get it. That is their prerogative to do that. Why wouldn't they get in the way of that? I'm going to ask you this. You're telling me that they would get in the way of that but they wouldn't get in the way of any sort of progress just with the gas combustion engine. They wouldn't get in the way of any of that type of progress.

They seem to not get in the way of anything else. Safety, they don't give a shit about, they won't get in the way of that type of stuff. Burning it cleaner, they don't give a fuck about, but miles per gallon, which is their bottom line. Like, do you guys honestly think like today, like what your car gets, like that's honestly the best that science can do?

That is, we are right up against the fucking wall. Is that what you're telling me? You know, considering if they just even increased it by 5, 10 miles a gallon per every new car, they would immediately lose hundreds of millions of dollars. Why would they do it? Why would they allow that to happen? Why wouldn't they get in the way of that?

That's all I'm asking here. You know something, for all you fucking assholes out there who call me this whack job, conspiracy theorists, these are my conspiracies. Bankers are fucking evil. Oil companies lie to you. And insurance companies are pieces of shit. That's basically my three.

And then they have enough money to basically buy elections. That's basically it, okay? Those really aren't groundbreaking conspiracies. Are they? I'm not saying that some guy living in the fucking moon. I'm not saying I saw a fucking flying saucer come out of the goddamn ocean and fucking take a piss on somebody sunbathing and then, you know,

I saw Ronald Reagan waving out the side of it and then it took off. I'm not saying that shit. I just, I don't buy it, okay? And I actually got emails from people. They sent me these links. They sent me this link of this fucking kid, 14-year-old kid with one of his classmates

built this futuristic-looking Jetsons car and they got close to 2,000 miles per gallon. I'll send you the link to this. You can go on the MMPodcast and look at this thing. The mmpodcast.com. Look at the picture of this thing. Okay? And once you're done saying, well, it's not a practical car,

it's not as heavy as the other ones, it would never meet the safety standards and yada, yada, yada, all that fucking shit. Do you honestly think that airbags, navigation systems, crumple zones and all that, you're honestly going to tell me that that basically knocks off 1,900 miles per gallon? Are you really going to fucking sit there and tell me

that you honestly think that they're not? Why wouldn't they get in the way of it? They have the money to get in the way of it and not only that, they're not even part of this country in a way. They're borderless. They're worldwide. I don't know.

So I respectfully apologize for not fucking looking up the way to the car. I was 100% wrong in that, but I still do not think that I'm wrong or I'm fucking paranoid. I had one guy, this guy's fucking hilarious. This guy was just ripping me. Just saying this is classic old man.

It's like, dude, I'm 43. Jesus Christ, this guy's going old man like I'm afraid of the world. I'm afraid of the fucking world. I at least can sit here and tell you that I don't believe in all that religious horseshit. If I was a scared old man, wouldn't I be going to church every goddamn week?

Wouldn't I be doing that stuff? Believing in the immaculate conception? I think you go on the ground, people. You know what? That's my theory. You die, you go on the ground, and then you become a fossil fuel for more people to fucking fight and lie about the...

Do you know what? Actually, my Prius, and I've actually thought about doing this, there's people... Granted, it fucks over your warrant, your warranty on your car. They can actually get 100 miles per gallon. And basically what they do is they just fill the ass in

with a bunch of batteries. You know? Which, I'm sure, those are great for the environment. Oh, you know what it is, people? I think you know what it comes down to? The most, why is my fucking throat so dry? Hang on a second. I think it comes down to the amount of what we do we're fucked.

But I just think that there's certain entities that just have too much fucking power. I think when you start making $350 billion a year and you're nationwide, at some point, some sort of government should have some sort of power over you and I don't really think that ours does. I don't. I don't think that they have any fucking power.

What are they going to do? They got us by the balls. The second you start giving them shit, they put their hand on the nozzle of the spigot. Go ahead, keep talking. We'll shut this fucking thing off. You want to pay $9,000 for a cantaloupe? Then shut your face.

$425 a gallon, go fuck yourself. Next question. Yes, this is Armani. All right. Plowing ahead here. I really want you guys to look at this. You guys who actually fucking do research. Here's one guy.

It tells me the 1987 Honda CRX got 57 miles on the highway. Weight was 1,800 pounds. The 2011 CRX miles per gallon is 41 on the highway and weighs 2,600 pounds. I see their fucking argument.

Right there. The car weighs 800 more pounds which is a lot when the first one only weighed 1,800. You're talking about 40% weighs 40% more. Is it getting 40% less on the gas? No, it isn't. That's actually a fucking improvement.

I will give you that. But the jump off point, I'm not buying it. I'm not buying because you can only get 25 miles a gallon in 1975. I don't buy it. I bet they easily could have got 200 at that point. They're not going to do it. Dude, you're talking about

the blue bloods at that point. You're talking about that level of fucking power. All right, my apologies to everybody out there who actually has some sort of science background. Evidently, people told me that that Stanley Mayor, the water power car is junk science

and it's absolutely ridiculous that they could do that. So I lost on that one. So you guys won 2 thirds of the argument here with me. All right? So now that you've backed me into the corner I want you to explain to me why

oil companies wouldn't stand in the way of that technology and two fold and why you believe that what they tell you that cars get is the best that we can do. Why you believe that we can't get 60 miles per gallon?

Well, you know there's air bags and other things and satellites flying around this. Here comes Santa Claus. Here comes Santa Claus. All right, here's one for you.

We're going to bring back a topic despite the fact that I dropped this topic because people told me that Daniel Tosh does something like this on Tosh.0. This person actually asked a great this is I'm bringing back is it racist, racist, racist, racist.

I'm bringing this topic back. By the way, I worked with Daniel Tosh on Wednesday this past week and I'm bringing this topic back. I'm bringing this topic back. On Wednesday this past week down to Wiltern Theater for the Greg Geraldo benefit

and Jesus Christ, that guy is a fucking beast. Absolutely fucking hilarious. He might have had the set of the night and everybody down there was was a headliner in their own right and I want to thank everybody who came down

but Daniel Tosh was fucking hilarious. You guys think that I say some mean shit and I'm able to get away with it. You gotta see that guy, man. Every time I see him and he always has new jokes and shit, you definitely if you get a chance, definitely check that guy out. With that, evidently, I'm going to do one of the bits

from his show. Is it racist? Bill, I love the podcast. Consistently hilarious, turned on some friends and brothers to it. I really appreciate that. Anybody who listens to this, please tell your friends about it. Anyways, here's my is it racist thing. An elderly white neighbor lady

came over and asked my wife if she wanted this leftover rice, obviously from takeout and she said maybe you can use it to make some fried rice or something. My wife, who is Korean, oh Jesus, was cordial but later

said it kind of pissed her off. Here's the kicker. She did end up making fried rice out of it. Is it, is this racist? Thanks. And this is one of these ones that it, it it's not racist.

It's it walks the line of unnecessary slash offensive. You know what I mean? It's, you know, she answered the question by actually turning it into fried rice.

And I got to be honest with you, I've never understood the food thing. Why the food thing is racist? I could see if you say people are dumb, all those classic clan things where they say certain people aren't fucking human, they're, you know, fucking your part, whatever,

like that. But the food thing, I never got, I never understood it. Um, I don't get why if you say what a, I think it's always just the way you say it. Like, look, French people are called frogs because they eat

frog legs. The Germans were called the krauts, sauerkraut, right? There's always like something about food that people flip out about. I got to tell you, it's really fucking weird to have extra rice and just be like, you know what, I bet the Korean lady across the street would like it.

I think that might be an example of a white person trying to be, I'm assuming the person's white, trying to be, like, uh, they think they're doing a good thing. Like, oh, we have extra rice, let's give it, what about the Korean lady?

Let's show that we know something about her culture. So I just think it's, it's really bizarre. Um, but I don't think that they, for it to be racist, like I always said, it has to be like your intent. Like, if they did it,

because they were trying to be like, here you go, you're rice eating son of a bitch, then yeah, that is, uh, then it would be racist. But if they're just doing the classic, you know, white person just not knowing, you know what I mean? Like, we have the reputation for doing shit like that. Like, we're

trying, but we just don't know. And then the great thing is how other races act like they know everything about white people, which they don't, despite how many episodes of Family Ties. You know, like I actually saw it, there was this website, uh, there was something, I, look it up, it's called What White People Do.

And I believe it was written by, uh, some black girl. And she was basically making fun of white people. If you, if you look at it, she's really making fun of hipsters in Brooklyn. She's making fun of the white people around her, and she's basically lumping all white people

like, this is what they do. This is what they do. They're really into taking, uh, what did she say? What the fuck was it? Uh, taking time off to find themselves or some shit like that. And, uh, you know, I don't know.

My friends, we grew up, yeah, we didn't take time off to find ourselves. We, we were, uh, you know, we were drunks. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Took time off. We didn't take time off to find ourselves.

We flunked out of college. That's what we did. That was our, or we fucked up. We found ourselves in high school by doing so bad in high school that we didn't go to college, you know. Um, anyways, I ain't what the fuck I'm doing here. Let's plow ahead. I wouldn't say it was racist. I think it's,

it's just, it's ignorant. That would just be ignorant. They, they think that they're doing this great thing. You know, and their defense would probably be something equally as ignorant, like, well, what? They eat it all the time. Um, so yeah,

I wouldn't say that it's racist, but yeah, people listen to the podcast. It's probably not a good thing, even if you're respecting the fact that there's people starving around the world. Um, you know, I could see if you always bring over extra food.

No, you know something that what's fucked up? What, you guys can't afford rice? The more I'm looking at this, who the fuck would do that? You're going to eat my leftover rice? Like, what are we fucking animals over here? But the thing is, is she did it. You know what, I don't know.

I don't know. That could go either way. There's one of those ones. I'd have to be there. I'd have to know a little bit about the lady across the street. I'd have to hear how she said it. But I would have given anything to listen to your wife going like, you believe those sons of bitches coming over here

and giving these goddamn rice? You know, as she's taking out the fucking, what the fuck you make fried rice in? Um, did you laugh when she actually cooked it up? Yeah, she did. All I want to be

is by your side All I want to be is by your side. Yeah. Yeah.

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