Monday Morning Podcast - Thursday Afternoon Monday Podcast 4-13-23

Episode Date: April 14, 2023

Bill rambles about salesman, '48 Hours', and Los Angeles arenas. Digital Experience Tickets for the Monday Morning Podcast Live 4/23

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday Monday morning podcast and Just checking in on you. I'm just checking in to see how your week's going huh, it's Thursday Back in the day. I remember when I had the old fucking 9 to 5 or that was payday if I remember correctly Thursday Fucking scraping nickels together by Tuesday flat broke on Wednesday Brown bagging your lunch and then Thursday came and then there was another 260 bucks That's what I made full-time 260 for unloading trucks laughing my ass off Still one of the great jobs I've ever had right up there was stand-up comedy working in a warehouse not married no kids no credit

Cards You know just acting like a fucking idiot Shaking off a night of drinking and late-night McDonald's like it never even happened just waking up with a flat stomach You know a back that wasn't out Just going over just fucking bending over at the waist picking up heavy shit not lifting with my legs You know not stretching and then just going to play softball after with everybody else getting fucking hammered Wine coolers back in the 80s bottles and James They was sort of like the original white claw. I don't even know what a white claw is white claw came out after

My drinking days were over. I was out of the league you know Speak speaking of which every year you got to bring it up in baseball the greatest contract ever signed the Bobby Bonilla Bobby Bonilla day July 1st New York Mets pay him 1.19 million dollars right through 2035 you know Hey, there's a guy was doesn't have to worry about should I get Bitcoin or not. He doesn't give a fuck gets a whole sack of money Man, he's got to live in like Florida. He's got to be in one of those no no No state taxes

fucking cunts Just out of curiosity before there was before they did tax your income like how did they pay for all this shit? And how do we get back to that? Can you imagine if you get to keep your whole fucking check? I Mean Just imagine The fun you would have that extra fucking couple hundred bucks every week Just imagine the fun you would have not saving that either blowing that

Scraping nickels together on Tuesday and brown bagging it on Wednesday. You you could have an extra fucking two to three hundred dollars of fun Whatever the hell it was whatever you make. I don't know what the hell you make Man those were the days I Was smart enough to not I Had I did have a car payment and when I paid that thing off. I remember it like I just didn't like it I didn't like Owen people money and some of the guys that I worked with would go out and go buy new cars You know Which part of me wishes I did but I mean I didn't know where my life was going

I just I just knew I sucked at everything. I Sucked at everything that had to do with school in school The way it was sold to me was your ticket to being successful like if you were bad at school that was it You know, you'd see the kids that were in honors classes Top of the class and just thinking like oh man that guy's gonna be driving down the street in a Rolls-Royce convertible Chopping on a big cigar You know And I was you know going to summer school hanging with all the fucking, you know class clowns meatheads musicians drug addicts

I want to say most of us in summer school ended up in sales because everybody was fucking hilarious and you just I don't know I just wanted to be around them. They were a lot more fun Than the honors class not saying all the honors class kids were eggheads, but for the most part. They were definitely Introverted you know and I was like well I already suck at school You know am I gonna suck quietly Well, can I hang with these knuckleheads and laugh at least laugh my ass off rather than sitting here acting like I'm thinking when I'm not Anyway, but if I could go back if I could go back in time And chain myself to my day job and not have

And not have any you know options Financially at that point. I would have I would have traded and I would just upgraded my truck I think I would have I think I probably would have gotten the Ford Ranger four by four that one of the guys I worked with had With the nice fucking rims and the big tires and a fucking roll bar You know and some neon green Risky business shades and that would have been it Me and my fucking orange head of hair coming down the street listening to fucking acdc in a four by four Clearing out a new fucking place to drink

That's what would have happened back in the day, but not not old conservative Bill Not all I don't know about that Billy. I Kept my four-cylinder no air conditioning black vinyl fucking seats fucking Fire engine red. Well ended up having an engine fire in the thing. I've told you guys these stories before Anyway I'm still waiting for my fuck. I'm a fucking text the guy today. Are you guys gonna fucking build the thing? Are you guys gonna build that truck? I have no use for

But makes my ego feel good for a week and then I'll be like why did I buy this and then I'll sell it like what? What what what the fuck is taking so long? They told me January of February or February. That's what the Ford Motor Company told me any news on my truck

being assembled Fucking club soda Kenny got me all freaked out He goes they haven't built it yet. They're gonna be coming out with the 2024 Every once in a while, I get I get club sodas fucking He's so stoic So every once in a while like I'll just say something and it's so hard because he knows when I'm fucking with them But the other day

I was in New York and I was in New York and uh I was getting ready to go over to the cellar and then go see that fucking amazing band Uh the usuf days experience. So he gives me my plane ticket. He goes. Here's your plane ticket This is a hard copy of the plane ticket So you have it on you so you know because he wasn't giving me a ride to the airport So I was like, all right, no worries. I go. Let me just go upstairs and I had to grab my cell phone charger or something

So I know he's watching me. So I turned towards the hotel And I deliberately stick the ticket light in my back pocket It just falls down to the sidewalk and I just hear like 10 feet away. Just go And I just burst it out laughing and then he knew that I got him and he just started two times He's ever all the years I've been working with them Once that time he called me an idiot and there was one other time he called me a jerk off and it was for whatever reason I I overslept and I was sleeping really hard and he was knocking on my hotel room door and

I didn't answer and I always answer So he's already thinking like there has to be a problem. He thought there was something medically wrong with me And then when they were banging on they they got he got security downstairs to open my hotel door And I had the deadbolt thing on where you can just open the door a little bit And they were yelling into the room and he was convinced that I had had like a heart attack or something And I got up and I was just like, oh, sorry, I overslept and everything and then he was kind of quiet And we were standing at the like the elevators and he just goes Next time set your alarm

Fucking jerk off I started cracking up. I'm like, oh you care You fucking care about me. So anyway I'll be seeing that big dummy this weekend when I go out there to uh College station doing a show out there with uh dean del rey And then we're gonna We've got a day off and then we're gonna head over to uh, austin texas And uh, check out the moto gp race, which I can't fucking believe I'm going to that. I'm so fucking excited

Um, and with that Let's talk a little bit of sports here red sox lose again to the undefeated Tampa Bay devil rays All right, I know you're supposed to just call them the rays, but there's no way at 11 and 0 They haven't signed a deal with the devil with the devil Um, they are 11 and 0 and tonight we have chris sale Back

He had a start. It went well. I believe he got the win No flat screen TVs were hurt during his start or afterward in the clubhouse So chris hail chris hail chris sale is on the hill He's on the bump He's on the dirt nipple. Sorry I ran out of sports fucking Nicknames for the mound. What do they call it the mound the hill the bump? They do not call it the dirt nipple. Um

Although I will tell you having thrown out a pitch at a major league ballpark. Yes, I did I'm throwing that in your face. I took it out of my back pocket. You were looking at your phone You didn't see it coming. I took it out and I threw it right in your face I was surprised at how low to the ground it was I felt like I was maybe two inches off the ground Um Anyway Anyway

Uh chris sale was on the mound tonight. I'm gonna be taping that game. I fucking love baseball I really do And then I'm also obviously excited about the nhl playoffs And I love that the Bruins had the run that they did because I knew that the canadiens won 76 77 78 79 obviously Um, but I missed all of that like I didn't start watching hockey till about 81 And um So it was all about the islanders and Edmonton trying to Edmonton coming up, right?

But I had no idea that the the uh gaudy record That those larry robinson gila floor ken dryden Those great montreal teams put up. I mean they fucking won like That's one of those like 80 games And I don't think that there weren't like any ties back then. I think I don't think they had like overtime, but like they had like I should look it up. I just don't feel like looking it up But they had like out of those four years like three game three years. They won at least 60 games

Um, they were essentially un fucking beatable Um, so it's pretty cool when somebody does something like what the Bruins are doing and then you ended up learning some more stuff about the past Which I think is great. Um So we shall see. I mean just because you have a gaudy regular season record everybody goes back to zero and zero And then you have then you have the pressure of the playoffs. So we shall see um Oh

Another 80s movie that I watched that I highly fucking recommend I watched uh eddie murphy and nick nolte In one of my favorite eddie murphy movies ever um 48 hours and um to this day, I still wish somebody would write a script That um has the tone of that movie for eddie. I always love that because It was perfect. It was it's funny, you know

It's like, I guess, you know, obviously the clumps and coming to america and bevel hills cop Those were more geared towards comedy, but I loved about 48 hours was it was It was a real movie like it had tense moments and all of that and people getting fucking You know the heads blown off and shit and then eddie was hilarious and nick nolte with eddie was a great You know cop buddy movie, but I will tell you man The level of fucking racist shit that nolte's character says to eddie murphy's kids. It's just like Jesus christ And that was like a thing back then Um as far as uh

I noticed like whenever whenever they had that thing where all of a sudden in the late 60s you could start swearing in movies Or cursing as the kids say And you could show titties And all of that shit and they started getting the rating system and all that like um From like the late 60s Until somewhere like in like the 84 85 Like the like any cop any tough guy in any movie it seemed like they were gonna drop the n word They were gonna they were just gonna go right down the list

But if you look at it like everything was so fucking like beyond Like race it was also like ethnicity Where even like white people would be like to each other Be like hey, let me tell you greaseball something if one more pollock comes over here. I'm gonna I'm gonna fucking you know Beat you to death with this Mick fucking frog crouch son of a bitch like It's just fucking You gotta like it's still a great movie 48 hours, but like there's a couple where it's like all right. I get it

I get it And then at one point there's just a scene at the bar and notice just his character's just like yeah, listen i'm I'm sorry about all that watermelon and word stuff. Yeah Let's just do my job. I'm just keeping you down And then Eddie's character's like yeah, well, you know that doesn't explain everything and then Jack Cates is just like yeah, no And then Eddie just goes here here here and that that explained that whole part of the movie away um

But other than that, I would say uh james remar and uh Oh, I gotta I gotta get billy bear That actor just passed away Unfortunately, um the two of them playing the bad guys And then the dude who played luther and what's cool is james remar and the dude who played luther were both in the warriors um Hang on

I'm gonna get better at this. Well, I actually have all of this stuff at my fingertips So everybody thinks that I actually know everybody's name in the fucking movie which i'm always amazing people can do that Well, like those dj's, you know that like the jazz album You know and then they just name everybody On the fucking thing. They're just like uh, that was uh, miles davis and the trumpet Joan Coltrane on the saxophone and like 20 minutes later. They're just like that was uh, eddie rabbinowitz on the xylophone Eddie rabbinowitz jr. On the vibes on timpathy timpani, we had carl porter

the great carl porter Who as many of you know played the uh triangle on borgie and bes great album um That was off the blue note label. I believe Was it the blue? Yes. It was the blue note label. You know, you listen to a jazz fucking radio station. It's like

Like most of the hour is the fucking dj telling you who played on what it's like. Well, how about you play another song you fucking asshole? um And on the didgeridoo that of course was peter peter remar peter remar on the didgeridoo Taking a solo that was a three against four motif with a bit of the clav clav a cuban afro cuban style 68 degrees out another wonderful His springtime sort of okay sunny lanth lantern

Sonny lantern as billy bear. He recently passed away david patrick kelly as luther um And then of course, it's you know, I always loved kehoe brian james. He passed away inspector ben kehoe It just sucks in the second one when they make him a dirty cop You know, it's like not kehoe um anyway

And then who's the x-football player that's just screaming. Oh even even he calls eddie the n-word He's like He's screaming at him. I don't have for some n-word convict. That's right. I called him an n-word You bet I did Ah The writer's room it was all white guys over 50. That's what I'm gonna guess on that one Uh, but still a fucking great movie Um, other than that shit and then you get the bus boys that actually ended up going out on tour

With eddie murphy eddie had a lot. I think he had a lot of musicians open up for him I'm gonna guess because I saw him on the raw tour and he had the weather girls Open up singing it's raining men Hallelujah, and I remember eddie coming out, you know, joking around making sure like the stage because they were both big girls Said the weather girls can fuck up a stage. I do remember that um So anyway, uh, definitely check that one out um

There's got to be a sketch out there where they just make fun of like How overtly fucking racist like every fucking cop and tough guy was in any of those like Like james con thief. I'm just thinking of all those movies that I recently watched. I think blowout was like that 48 hours was like that serpico um Haven't said that they're all fucking great movies, but um

Anyway, this is nature I feel like i'm doing that with these things. It's like bill we know. All right, uh, I went fly yesterday with my instructor This is how brilliant my instructor is. Um I have a little four-wheeler that we towed the uh helicopter out with and uh The idle needs to be it's it's idling too low. So it kind of goes like

And I was saying to him I was like, you know, alex van halen Came up for a hot for teacher listening to like a hot rod idling. That's how he came up with that And he's like, oh, that's like really cool. So he recorded it And just in the morning just wrote a fucking song around it Randy waldman is his name the great randy waldman um Who's been his first gig I'll give him a little shout out his first gig at 18 was he was the piano player for Frank Sinatra

And since then he's gone on to be george benston and barbers tricent's musical director and also He's an incredible helicopter pilot. So I get to fly with him And uh, we ended up doing the um What is it the the harbor transition through lax's airspace where you're at 900 feet or below So there's three places where you can cut A cross lax's airspace when all those big boys are landing. There's uh, the 110 harbor freeway Uh, which is really cool because you're right at downtown la at the the cryptocurrency Center formerly staples center

And uh, that's gonna be kind of cool how that that thing's just gonna be like the curse of of uh, the lakers clippers arena You know like first it was staples and now staples like there was a staples down the street for me that just fucking closed I think they're all online now Cryptocurrency isn't that going belly up? I have no idea. I don't wear a bow tie. I don't understand money You know You don't listen to somebody unless they wear a bow tie when they're talking about the economy So, um Yeah, now it's called cryptocurrency. So you fly down

You follow in the 110 south When you cross the 10 you get on with lax you make your radio call and then you go right by Uh la memorial coliseum and that new place where the soccer team plays That used to be the site Of the la sports arena and what I love about that little patch of land there is the amount of championships that were won and lost The first two super bowls were played when they were the nfl afl championship game and memorial coliseum and the la sports arena A lot of people don't know this bob kuzi's last game with the boston Celtics They beat the la lakers if you can believe this back in the day, the la lakers could never beat the Celtics

could never beat the Celtics until uh free agency the internet and horse went all mainstream and then just Boston as a city could not compete We have cold weather And still too many people in boston sound like nick nolte in 48 hours So they choose to come to la with all the gorgeous women the sunshine And where too many nick nolte looking guys, uh, you know too many too too many guys sound like nick nolte in 48 hours

Because I will say that forever la is every bit as fucking racist as boston Will ever be and they just are known for sunshine in hollywood. Like every city just gets their Their thing, you know boston can't shake busing busing compared to the watts riots And rodney king You know, if you looked at him in an album sales kind of sense I would say that those were much higher

I would say that those were much higher I mean rodney king, that was like, you know, that was on the level of like the eagles greatest hits as far as like the coverage that got But still people do not equate la as being this racist place Um I mean, I know I don't I just get to drive around being a white guy I don't notice anything Um Uh, yeah, I'm sorry about all that dumb broad bull. I'm gonna pull that with nia. Yeah, I'm sorry about all that

Fucking whore dumb broad shit that I say, you know, I just doing my job. It's just keeping your ladies down Yeah, well, it doesn't explain everything. I know it China town we're going to one two three four. How about the bus boys? New shoes You think I didn't watch that movie and re-download that for the nine millionth fucking time every time I watch that movie I download the bus boys shit. I want to done do the whole soundtrack, but it doesn't exist on itunes And that's that's who I interact with that's who I I'd be fucking with when it comes to that shit

I'm not gonna have like a bunch of different You know the iphone punishes you When they're just like, oh, you're gonna use it you you're more than welcome to use another streaming Uh platform for your music or whatever the fuck you call it But the avatars aren't gonna show up and it's gonna be all weird and difficult They're such cunts. They really are like the hot chick You know like any god who invented her? It's just some android shit. Oh my god. She's like so not cool

I'm like so not gonna fucking work with you On that last last iphone we had terry robinson designed the The new emojis it was terry robinson, but steve jobs gets all the credit I'll that be funny like the whole thing we steve jobs even though he's dead We're still going to give him the credit. Um, it was his vision And the new sleeker design that unknown Smart people worked on in that round building

Outside of san francisco We'll get no credit and it's still uh, we're still going with steve jobs. Steve jobs is going to get all the credit for that one And on timpon timpani was steve jobs steve jobs nephew steve steve jobs jr the third esquire Bill gates in the garage coming up with the first home computer um

All right, let me do did I get my reads yet? Oh, here we go. Oh, oh, here we go. Oh We have no reads all I have is the live mmp to um To uh, what do I what do you call it to promote here the monday morning podcast live i'm doing a live show Of the podcast uh here in la there's only going to be like a hundred tickets. So if you want to stream this thing uh streaming tickets for the digital experience It's um the monday morning podcast live was performed. That was uh bill burr

on the uh microphone bill burr andrew themlis was the uh podcast producer Tickets will be available for all monday morning podcast listeners to take part in the digital experience No matter where in the world you call home April 23rd at noon pacific time pacific standard time 3 p.m. Eastern standard time 8 p.m. British standard time

5 a.m. australian eastern standard time That's when the fuck It's going to be statin around the world. Uh, I am going to be extra ignorant extra stupid and all of that tickets are available at www.moment.co Slash burr. That's www.moment m-o-m-e-n-t.co slash bill burr Uh, I'm sorry for all those shit jokes. I just do a job

Uh, that was him Nick Nolte I mean, what else you got to do go back to jail china town. Yeah Listen, I'm sorry. I don't have the time to hang out with you jack Fuck you Yeah, he hangs up the phone Ah, it's the end of the podcast. Um Not shitting on nick nolte. I love nick nolte. Um, it was just a time people

That's one another fun thing about going back and watching old movies aside from the old cars The old music and all of that you just see what was accepted and what wasn't accepted And some of it makes you go Jesus Christ and then other stuff's like, why did they stop doing that? I like that Like, you know, I know, you know I've heard all the stories and all that and a lot of cool shit, you know uncool shit did happen But you know, it was great to go to a rate at our movie knowing you were going to see some titties just selfishly just saying that You know titties went away

Titties were just fucking i'm telling you man if you want to see titties 70s and 80s. There was just titties Fucking just falling out Everywhere didn't matter what century western out in space. There was just wow. That's not true Well, I didn't watch a lot of space movies I Whether titties in space space space. I don't remember I don't remember. I Christ that was I didn't mean all of that space titties shit. I just do him a job

um I do love nick nolte's car That he had he had like an early 60s Cadillac and it was funny that was considered a piece of shit and nowadays with all the uh all these Guys that build cars on tv, you know, it had a straight body They would fix that thing up and make it fucking cherry, dude And then eddie's character had that old Porsche

A lot of cool cars in that I believe there's a ford fairmont That gans and billy bear kidnapped uh luther's girlfriend elizabeth Elizabeth you okay? um I got hit

I don't believe it I got shot um Firewater is that what you meant? I gotta watch that again. Fucking great movie. Anyway, that's it everybody um, enjoy the baseball bat nba and nhl playoffs coming up But it's a great time of year this summer is coming. I'm excited I've been drinking coffee and reading the fucking newspapers and uh colorados had about enough of us taking their water Which is a great thing

Um, I think that'll finally force la to capture all the water that they just let go down the la river out into the ocean I think it's gonna work, but it's not gonna work until rich people can't take as long a shower You know At first it's gonna be let them eat cake You know let them wash in the river, right, but then eventually they're gonna have to do something. That's that's what I'm predicting Slash, I'm sort of freaking out Because I live here. All right, that's it go fuck yourselves. Have a great weekend your cunts

and uh, enjoy the music picked out by the wonderful andrew themalus And we'll have a bonus episode of the thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning podcast following the music that is it That is it. Yeah, I gotta get stopped here. I never know Why is it so difficult to do this? It's literally moving the opposite way There we go Come on, come on Hey, what's going on? It's bill burr and it's the monday morning podcast from monday april 13th 2015

You know monday the 13th is not bad luck. It's friday the 13th. So fucking relax because I said 13 All right before you get all dude, you gotta rub the fucking garlic and vinegar and you left ass cheek Because the devil lives on the left side if you're gonna have a good day All right, let's get down to it. I talked a lot of shit I talked a lot of shit. Oh, the fuck you you senator fans. You know what you actually know why I've talked all that shit because I wasn't watching hockey And all I saw I knew the Bruins would want a couple because I follow them on my little smartphone there You know, I follow the Bruins the Canadians and the kings The Bruins and the kings because I like them and the Canadians because I hate them

Right and I just always want to know what those fucking blueblank a douche Are doing right? I actually I like the team. I just hate their fans. You know, they don't really know hockey They think they do and they put on loafers and they they whine. I mean No, Canadian fan can ever say that they know hockey when you watched your fan base boo Patrick Waugh out of town because he had a bad regular season game And that curse hangs over you which is why you won't win it again this year All right, whatever stop being a cunt bill So any reason why I talked shit was because I like everybody else saw that thing where the Bruins were selling playoff tickets

Playoffs So I thought they made it. So I just you know, it was just being a douche and I started giving the fucking senators shit I didn't even know that's how bad a fan I was this year But uh, but I stuck with them And I kept talking shit. I hoped against hope yesterday Bruins tied it up, you know going over time and then they fucking lost but um I don't know A lot of Bruins fans that season was a fucking disgrace and blah blah blah blah than other fans giving me shit

Partly it's because I talked all that shit, but like I don't really consider it a fucking disgrace. You know what I mean? We're great franchise Do you know we went to the playoffs 29 fucking years in a row and then like another 10 years in a row and then another 10 You something like that something we've missed the playoffs like fucking three times in my life Big fucking deal Am I really gonna be sad as a boston fan? Do you realize in the last four years? We want a Stanley Cup We want a world series and a super bowl

All we need is the fucking Celtics to pull pull their green and white asses out of the mud And the next couple years and we're gonna run the table again. And this is what kills me We're doing this with four fucking teams How can we do this with four teams and then you look at the state of new york that has 10 fucking teams The state of california has like 15 fucking teams and collectively They never have in a 10-year period run the table and won all of them. Go ahead hit pause. Look it up Look it up. So I am fine Um

I'm not as negative about the bruins as everybody. I think we you know, we got some good young players or whatever the guys That won the cup maybe got a little bit old You know, what are you gonna do? Fuck you gonna do. All right, so congratulations To all you people that have given me shit, you know Especially senator fan Well, I guess they deserve to give me shit because I talk so much stuff, but I'm just sitting there thinking my head like Dude, you're a fucking eighth seed. Do you really think you're gonna win a cup? You're not

All right So we'll we'll save a seat for you down at the golf course for when you swing by in may. What do you think about that? Fuck it with you. I don't give a shit at this point. My team's out of it. So good. Good luck to everybody except for the canadiens Good luck to the ranger fans You know you guys won one cup in 75 fucking years I had be nice to see you get another one even though you are fans of new york teams And that's one of my favorite fucking arguments that you doubled down in every sport

You know, it's like you're playing blackjack and every fucking hand you get dealt two aces and you still lose Oh, Jesus christ i'm fucking wiped out man. I stayed out last night till like I don't know what I had I had some friends come by And we went to this this local bar And I didn't even drink that much. It's just that I had a 430 pickup for a 7am flight and I don't know. I stayed out till like three. I think I slept for like a fucking hour and a half And I got on the plane and I was asleep and I vaguely remember them saying we had mechanical problems had to fucking

Taxi back to the gate. I slept through all of that. Everybody. Oh, what the fuck? I'll go fuck them. I'm just gonna take I slept through all of it and I didn't wake up until we were over the fucking desert, which is perfect Um, so it was actually was a great flight, but uh, I got some shit to do tomorrow So I am recording this sunday afternoon. I usually have a rule that I do not record podcasts um You know on days that I fly because i'm usually fucking I don't know it does something to me. I'll tell you it does something to the funny, you know Um, so anyways, I don't have a team to root for at this point. So you gotta be asking yourself bill. Who the fuck are you rooting for? In the playoffs playoffs

Who am I rooting for? Um I'm not gonna waste my time voting for the rooting for the senator. It'd be great to see them win because they'd never won but I'm not gonna waste my time with that because uh You know, they're a fucking eighth seat all right There you go. So that's done Okay, I think it's gonna come down to uh Uh, probably rangers and canadiens again

Um, although so I figured they're the favorites. I I'm gonna actually I'm gonna in the east. I'm gonna root for the capitals I like the capitals I like ovechkin because he actually scores. He's a goal scorer, but he's not he's not a pussy like most goal scorers You know, they usually got some big guy fucking skating right behind him, you know, stay away from him. Stay give him his space You know He's got a mean streak to his game. He actually plays a physical game He has gold laces, which I think is a nice little piece of flair I do have to say that guy I I think that's you know

Him or taves of my two of my favorite guys to watch like when they But ovechkin, I don't there's something about the way that guy plays He's always in the exact same spot in the offensive zone. He's just sitting there with his stick up in the air waiting for a fucking one time um So i'm gonna root for those guys, especially if they wear their old school uniforms that has this to have the Stas on the sleeves. I've always liked those so I guess i'll root for those guys and believe it or not as much as I shit on uh New york, which I just do because it's fun, you know, I actually like the giants believe it or not Even though they kicked our ass twice in a super bowl. Um, well kicked our ass the first time the second time we fucking blew it

um brady the welker um, I actually I'm actually a ranger fan. Even though I was a Bruins fan I shouldn't be because we had a brutal brutal brutal fucking rivalry in the 70s Brad park was always whining about bobby or And how he got all that attention. He was fucking jealous. You know what I mean? um

He was like the chick that wasn't quite as hot and just sat there fucking staring daggers at the prom queen All through the 70s. Then what's funny is he ended up being a Bruin and um, but I was I was too Um, I was too young to remember that. I just I don't know. I always liked the rangers. I always liked the original six teams um Including the actually, you know gotta respect the canadiens, you know what I mean even up now fucking 12 of their cups they won Probably playing outdoors on a frozen river We beat the Montreal maroons and 12 best 12 out of fucking 27 or whatever the fuck it was back then

Um, that math didn't work. I know go fuck yourself. Um best 12 out of uh, what would it be 12 out of 23? right There you go because they had all fucking day back then um, so anyways I don't know. I like the kings. I like the blackhawks I like the blues. I think I might root for the blues because the kings of one one. I still like the kings though um I don't know. I like a lot of teams in the west

except for vancouver Although vancouver is not vancouver anymore. Most of those guys left. They still got the twins and they got burros That guy Thank god for that guy. He's the reason why the Bruins won Um, fucking vancouver was kicking our ass and all of a sudden he just started being a douche and it's just like Wait a minute. That's what we do You know bite somebody in the finger come on man. That's that's that's what the fuck you want to play dirty Jesus christ That's a game

So anyways, um, I had no idea so I think I'll actually I'll be watching the kings and then um I actually like uh The blues because they haven't won ever And um Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll probably just be rooting for underdogs But either way, I am always always excited for the uh playoffs even though we didn't fucking make it. What are you gonna do? What do you might be a fucking baby about a congratulations to the senators? And I look forward to sitting next to you watching a game with you

very soon As we sit there with both of our teams not in the playoffs um all right, so I did uh I mentioned working in Tampa and then florida. I was down on miami beach Which is fucking insane miami beach really it puts hollywood to shame as far as uh

beautiful women Uh trainwrecks plastic surgery old guys with younger women. I mean, it's just it's unbelievable. Um And some of the most but I do have to say some of those beautiful women i've ever seen in my life So I did a couple of shows at the uh jackie gleason theater and uh There's no fucking office that they kept that was just like jackie gleason's. I forget who the fuck told me that they don't They have obviously they just have a green room like yep. This was his green room And downstairs he he actually had a bed and all that if he got uh, we worked too hard wink wink. He would sleep here and uh

You know, so he'd be here for the next day to go to work or whatever But it was still you know, it was awesome to uh perform there and afterwards we went to this uh this after party and um It was really cool. I got to see uh chappelle because uh, he was performing at this theater the same theater. I should say a bunch of days And uh, I've got the time. I was like I was psyched to talk to him when we were in this fucking really loud club You know playing that that uh That music that makes me feel old that computer generated music and there was all these fucking strobe lights and uh I don't know it was just a bunch of shit going on and they had us in like this roped off area

And it was funny because it was like nobody in the club. So rather than looking like this cool vip area We look like we had some sort of plague They were trying to entertain us with uh horrible music, maybe slowly kill us. I don't know what but um Anyways, I want to thank everybody that uh that came out to the shows. I had a I had an awesome time. So you know what's coming up next everybody Oh the billy bible belt tour. That's the next one The next one

When the fuck do we start that? I don't even know because it says somebody tell me how to get rid of this stupid updates Updates available on my computer and it says install or my option is later And all I can say is try in an hour try tonight remind me tomorrow turn on auto update So just every fucking day. I got to click on this thing. I never update iTunes is the only thing I update I never update anything else because it just fills up your fucking computer It's like my computer works. You know what I mean? I don't know. I don't understand what the problem is here um I don't know. I don't I never update my phone. I still have the iphone 4s

Which at this point it's starting to fucking starting to wig out on me here a little bit I'm gonna have to finally give into it, but uh I haven't heard anybody bitch about the six in a while. So I guess I guess the the coast is clear and I can actually buy one I always do that. I always wait for people to buy the phone bitch about it And then they fix it and then I buy the next one. I draft behind you. That's what I do. I'm like a coward in war I sit in the fucking foxhole in the fetal position crying as you guys Go over the wall and take it in the face, right?

What is this thing doing? Why is it blinking? Just made a noise, right? Am I still recording? I think I'm recording. I don't fucking know. Anyways, the billy bible belt tour All right, it starts april 18th in savannah georgia April 19th. We're in noxville, Tennessee Um, the 20th chattanooga, Tennessee 21st. We are in Uh, memphis 22nd shreveport. Thank you very much everybody for uh Helping me sell these tickets. Why does this thing keep beeping?

Ah, fuck. I don't know. I don't even know if I'm fucking recording at this point Maybe I'm just doing it for me. All right the 23rd. We're in new orleans All right, we're in there and then we're there for a couple of days and then we got huntsville, alabama Then we got all right. I have to fucking address why this thing is fucking beeping. What is the problem? I have battery power right Why do you keep making that? All right, the fucking thing was beeping because the memory was full. I I swear to god, man, I have no I have no instinct when it comes to uh

Electronics technology any of this shit. I just You know, I I'm a fucking idiot when it comes to this stuff. I like I like old-school shit, you know Anything pre like digital watch. I I didn't have a problem with it. It was simple You put batteries in the back of it, you know, you fucking wound the hands of the clock. You looked at the clock. There it was You just plugged it in Right, isn't that what you did? You wound it up. There you go. I miss those. I miss those days nice and fucking simple you know

Oh billy simpletown that day, you know, I'd like to go back to that at some point Jesus fucking christ with all of this goddamn shit this fucking new recorder. It's just so many extra goddamn bells and whistles on it You know, what's funny is they could have just came out with the exact same one and I would have used their other one till it was dead This is just for these fucking nerds. We're like, oh dude, have you heard the no one? You know what the no one does? The same as the old one except a couple other things Oh, I'm such a cunt when it comes to that stuff. I apologize I apologize to what at all about that shit. Um, anyways, what the hell was I talking about? Oh I think I was listing the the dates on the the upcoming tour. I believe we cut off the 23rd

I'm in New Orleans Huntsville, Alabama the 26 Jackson, Mississippi on the 27th Mobile, Alabama on the 28th Lexington, Kentucky on the 30th and Evansville, Indiana on the 1st And then we go to the Kentucky Derby and what's great about this tour is I haven't been any of these fucking places And um, so I'm gonna be performing in front of a bunch of people that never seen me before some never even heard of me So, uh, you know, it's weird. This is kind of like when I went through southeast Asia Except I'm doing it in my own country. So, uh, It's gonna be a good time, but I'll tell you right now. Oh, Billy's been in the fucking gym

All right, I've been doing the tens when I'm on the road that workout Barton next showed me It's what you do 10 jumping jacks 10 burpees 10 sit-ups 10 push-ups 10 like alternate leg lunges and then 10 jump squats and then you do nine Run through it again. Then you do eight run through it again. You go all the way down to one And then I skip rope for two or three rounds and by the end of that I'm fucking dead And I'll tell you right now you do that. I swear to god You can drink a 12 pack and eat a fucking quarter pound of a cheese and wake up with a flat stomach All right, there you go. That's what you need to do. You know, I have a buddy of mine. Oh, I got a friend of mine, you know

He's uh, one of these fucking guys, you know, he's always trying to lose weight, right? But he does like those fad diet things you know Dude, I've cut out all sugar, you know, or I don't eat carbs Not eating bread Not eating bread dude. I cut out bread all together. It's just like how long is that gonna last? How can you realistically? Realistically not have a fucking sandwich That's you know what I mean? It's like people who try to quit eating bread. That's like me trying to quit alcohol

It's just it's not gonna happen like how long can I realistically go? And just remain sober and and just go through life You know at some point you you really you gotta you have to drink and I'm I'm saying this to alcoholics too. All right I think you guys are way off base with your sobriety Okay, you're missing the point in life the point in life is every, you know, you don't do it every day You just every like, you know, like three days You get so drunk and belligerent. You you hurt everyone around you that you love

And uh, you maybe create a legal problem for yourself and you know I know that this is obvious to most of my listeners, but I just don't understand why people go to AA meetings Um, no, I'm joking. I just fucking All you gotta do is you just start your day with your fucking oatmeal. He's fucking idiots man sitting there Dude, I'm done with pickles I'm not done with anything like I try not to eat McDonald's, but I know at some point Oh, I know I'm gonna go in there and you know what I'm gonna go in there My heart's gonna be fucking racing with excitement

Knowing that I'm doing something bad and I'm gonna eat it and second after I eat it. I'm gonna feel like shit I know I am I know I am but I'm not I'm despite that. It's fucking delicious when it's going down right And I know I'm gonna fucking hate but everybody just every once in a while Hey, did you see somebody did the uh, it was great. Somebody did the final four like the bracket thing The March Madness brackets with uh fast food And I can't tell you how disappointment pointed. I was

That mcdonald's got knocked out in the first round. I just thought it was completely disrespectful. You know, this is this is the This is they're like the rose bowl of fast food. These are the ones who stay started at all right March Madden, let me look this up And I guarantee you're gonna you're gonna take it fucking personally March Madness fast foods Images come on bill. Were you able to find it? Were you able to make computers work for you? For once in your life

Ah, jeez. It's just a bunch of fucking advertising. Oh, well, there it is There it is I found it. Holy shit. I can't believe it. All right, visit the page There's it the page. I click the button nothing happens The vein in my forehead starts to pulse, but mcdonald's got mcdonald's gets knocked out in the first round. Give me a fucking break McDonald's they're like the duke Of fast of fast food, you know, they just they're just gonna be in it at least to the great eight When you say

What's your favorite fast food? In and out gets fucking knocked out That had to have been an upset, right? Ah, this is birthday cake first pie. You know what? Fuck you internet. I'm so fucking. Why can't you just find the shit that I need? Ah, go fuck yourself. All right, it's over Whatever yet again yet again, you know what I need to learn how to do I need to learn to not just fucking wing this podcast and just Search for the shit that I want first Have it and then riff about it

Instead of getting you guys excited that I'm actually gonna complete a fucking thought on here All right tapping out of that not even gracefully that was just a train wreck. I just fell out of the side of a fucking moving car That's what just happened. Okay. We went around a corner I didn't have my seatbelt on the door opened up and then that was it All freckles right off the side road rash all over the side of his big forehead Um, so anyways, I actually watched a documentary that I think it was on HBO Uh, my lovely wife recorded it on uh, Frank Sinatra. There's two part series and I gotta tell you man. It changed my life a a

One part of it and it's the part where he makes his second comeback Like I guess he was like the first sort of uh You know, he was like the Justin Bieber of back then when he when he first did like the uh When he first started singing he was a crooner and all the chicks loved him and that type of stuff And it's funny all the big bands will like the fucking rock bands Back then Benny Goodman and Glenn Miller and all them and they're looking like who the fuck is this kid? You know with all these girls screaming, you know And uh, and also he just speaks to the quality of talent back then in musicianship that like

A guy of Frank Sinatra's talent was considered like a like a fucking boy band Um I think granted you had all that stuff going on back then right miles Davis charlie park and all that type of shit But they had all this amazing footage and he was in the I think the tommy dorsi band And like all they're doing it. They're talking about frank and I'm looking at the band and they got buddy rich on drums They don't even bring it up It's just was the level of talent. It was just it was fucking unreal like you really had to know how to play back then So what anyways, he had basically after he dropped off

You know after his crooning thing was over People thought he was finished and I think that like the whole rock star thing But it was basically he was basically a rock star before rock was um, You know, there was no history of Of anybody ever doing that. So when he fell off everybody thought he was finished. So when he made his comeback as the singer of sad songs and Lament whatever the fuck they said it was considered the greatest comeback and show biz history So that wasn't the part that scared me what scared me was the second time

You know When he was into his fifties now I think the first time he fell off. It was just like I don't know. He's in like his 20s He was considered older and washed up or something or maybe like into his 30s So 20 years after that, he has his second one and this is the one that scared me And they said frank was making all these choices Desperately trying to remain relevant and they had at one point he was singing with some Like Motown group and they had these really like crazy like

Like pimp suits meets like a three musketeers kind of outfit, right late 60s Crazy shit and frank puts on one of these outfits to sing with this popular group And he's got that big band swing pulse and they're coming more with like a Motown thing and I was literally on the edge of the couch watching it With like my fucking head in my hands going like oh my god. This happened to Frank Sinatra Like what the fuck is going to happen to me and I immediately Since then have been planning some sort of I got to have an exit strategy out of this business

I've joked about it before on stage saying how this business at some point is finished with you whether you like it or not But you never think about it. All you're thinking about is your next project You know, it's this business is like a fantasy. It's not like the real world where you're like I'm going to do this until Then and then when I'm this age, I'm 65. I think I'm going to retire and blah blah blah blah Like this business people just fucking hang around and hang around and hang around and hang around and hang around To the point they fucking hire you and people like when they go on the big bring up your name they go

I thought he was is he still alive? Hey Sharon Try and find out if Bill Burr's still alive like that'll fucking happen to me someday if I stick around too long so All I could you know what I felt like when I was watching that I felt like Paulie that seemed in good fellas All right when he's talking to Henry Tell him to stay away from the drugs and he talks about some other dawn He goes you hear about so and so he's gonna die in jail

All right, they ain't fucking happening to me and I was literally watching Frank wearing that suit and that's all I could think I can't say that's not gonna happen. I just hope that does not happen to me Um, I just started having these fucking panic attacks at me coming out on stage on a cruise ship with like a walker And people just going to see me at that point just to see me like hey, you know, he's Come on. He's been telling dick jokes for 40 years. We gotta go see this guy and come out there old age spots on the top of my fucking head They're desperately trying to cover up with fucking I don't know what kind of makeup you've got a goddamn sander electric sander

In the top of my fucking head before I go out there um Yeah, fuck that I gotta I and I think I know what I'm gonna do This is what I'm gonna do. I gotta start investing money outside of this business So I have ink. I need mailbox money coming in outside of this business. So whenever they're done with me I can just transition. You know, I think I'm gonna I think I'm gonna become a slum lord I'm gonna live this like dual life where I'm gonna be this smiling entertainer On stage and I'll do benefits for diseases and and underprivileged people and all that and then one day

I will get exposed for the monster. I truly am and I'll have all these fucking Like you'll there'll be like stories about how inexplicably like tuberculosis is coming back And eventually they'll trace it back To this like these four awful towers of apartments That are owned by this uh, this corporation and they're like, well, who is behind uh, go fuck yourself ink or whatever Billy red face. Who is Billy red face? Then they'll fucking They'll bust me Then that'll that'll be the end of it. Now, you know, I'll blame I'll blame the uh, the aster family

Out of new york and I'll just be like, well, I got I got my business model through them I mean, they did the same thing and for some reason no one trashed them and they actually got an entire subway stop And piece of new york like named after them You know aster place Why can't we have uh billy's place? I'll do it in detroit. I'll go I'll go there and I'll buy up a whole block You know and then rather than redoing it I'll rent it out to crackheads. Just you know, I'm just I'm just throwing shit against the wall here just

Just just go easy here with this uh, this this business model. I'll rent it out to some crackheads right and um Ah, it's a stupid idea. They don't have money. All right, so I have to get them out of there Do you know how you get crack it out of your house? You got you got to go uh You got you got a bright flashlight and a garden house That's what you do and you just you just You don't have it on full blast. You just have it on like that You know when you when you're watering a dainty flower in your garden. You need to ever do that

Sitting out there, you know Subconsciously scratching your ass. That's basically how you do it except you hold one with like a flashlight and then you just sort of you water them You know water's good for you. That's like their kryptonite and they they get out of there You didn't treat him like house cats to get up on the couch You know, you just keep doing that So the the hardest part is getting the water turned back on while they're still in there, you know I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. But anyway, so I watched that thing and anybody see it It's scared the shit out of me this whole fucking thing and getting old and not being fucking relevant and all of that type of stuff and uh

I don't know Desperately trying to figure out where the fuck do you go? Where do you turn to? You know what I mean? This is why I like not having kids is fucking scary because then you know that you can lean back on your kids like well They'll take care of me, you know, at least they'll stick me in a fucking home or something. I can eat applesauce As I yell at the wall am I sitting in my own fucking feces, right? I mean Wait till it rains and I stick my old ass out the window and I wash it out. Jesus bill Well, you know, whatever go fuck yourself. It scared me

I got a little scared. So I'm thinking of being a uh, I think I'm gonna become a slumlord on the side So I'll let you know If uh, I can find an apartment building that cost about I don't know about seven eight grand I can go down to home depot put some fucking uh, pcp fucking pipe in a pcv pipe and whatever fuck it's kind of what it's called That's what I'll do I'll be a monster On the side while I smile and wave at benefits. That is my exit strategy. So this is my question for you guys You guys in the real world

All right, because I'm not even joking about how frightening that was to watch. What what is uh, What is your exit strategy if you have a career right now? All right, and if you do have children, do you think that you have raised your children In a way that they are both smart enough to have a career where the it where they can take care of you and secondly Where were you nice enough to them that they don't hate your fucking guts that they don't give a shit? You know

You know, they don't care if you rot in a fucking old folks home Were you nice enough to them that they don't resent you or were you Not selfish enough that they picked up on your selfish habits and they're like, yeah, I don't give a fuck about my dad or my mom You know, that's what I'm asking. I'm asking the tough questions here On the moment because all right, let's read some of the fucking advertising here for this week. Um All right, the thursday afternoon monday morning podcast, okay bill In case the rest of the morons who listen to your podcast haven't extended a thank you yet Let me do so on behalf of them for the thursday afternoon monday morning podcast that comes in just before friday there

I love the music between the old clips, especially last weeks My wife and I were listening on the way to work and she pointed out that you sound different on thursday's Monday you come out of the gate and by thursday you seem more at peace It's probably too early to claim a pattern, but we'll see anyways. Thank you again Ah Jesus christ can women ever just fucking not be trying to figure you out figure you out the fucking weird So I needed a drink there, you know, he seems more I like the thursday bill Like just like and you know what and they always act like what they're trying to do is to make your life better and all she's doing She's like they're constantly gaining like uh reconnaissance like information

You know what I mean? Because generally speaking let's you date one of those ufc chicks, you know what I mean? They can't beat the shit out of you so they got to go cerebral so they are constantly On some sort of surveillance mission even on a guy that isn't in their fucking lives Just weirded me out that she's listening to it at that level And you know what's funny? She just does it naturally. Who the fuck else would be thinking that? He seems more um Melancholy on wednesdays, but on saturdays. There's a light. There's a light at the end of the tunnel

Ah Jesus Christ maybe because mondays i'm flying back from somewhere and i'm hungover. How about that? Maybe that's what it is But i'll tell you right now. I'm never more at peace Um, i'm actually happy somebody would ever think that they heard that in my voice All right, i'm gonna read this next one I'm gonna read it in my i guess my thursday. Let me try to get myself more at peace here Need advice Hey Billy bitch tits

I need your help My girlfriend of three years has been acting really strangely lately Things were fine up until two months ago. We were banging and hanging all the time without i can't do this We were banging and hanging. Oh jesus. Are you high-fiving while you were fucking too all the time? Yeah, i'm gonna come up top bro up top Up top bro. Oh jesus. Let's just fucking switch a route there, huh? Um We were banging and hanging all the time without any problems At all except for the odd fight over which restaurant to go to life was pretty sweet

Anyways, lately. She's never been available between 7 p.m. And 10 p.m. And when i do reach her after 10 p.m. She's really grumpy and doesn't want to talk to me She tells me it's not me and not to worry. It'll be better soon But she's been like this for the last two months and there's no end in sight She's also keeps canceling our plans at the last minute saying she's not feeling up to going out She's never act like this before And we've known each other for seven years. Oh jesus a seven-year itch there um

Anyways yesterday was the breaking point I called her around 9 30 p.m. And she told me to go fuck myself and hung up on me I called her back 45 minutes later and i'll be honest. I was crying a little Oh god, she's in your heart now dude. Well seven years. She's gonna be Uh, what was different was that this time she was crying too when she said she was really sorry and at the last two months Oh, fuck you. I'm not even gonna read that Come on man. Hey, Andrew quit sending me the fucking troll ones All right election

Uh, I I mean I gotta read it because it was funny But I mean I don't want to turn all of these questions into the evidence and wow wow wow It was just a joke Because then I don't have anything to fucking tell you that was she had been watching the Bruins and blah blah blah blah Basically if that was a real one she would have been crying the entire season Uh Yeah, don't send me these things because then this is what helps me talk for a fucking half hour If if every one of these is going to be like, oh, I fucking trolled you. Yeah

You know Anyways election dear capitol hill bill Can we get your thoughts on the 2016 election hillary ron paul or rand paul ted Cruz? Uh thoughts on any of them or what direction you think this country is going in um I think hillary's got a great shot because she's a woman And there'll be a big pressure to not say she stinks because you'll get branded as a sexist um

I'm sick of the clinton family and the bush family. I I just I need A fresh face to be lying to me. That's the one thing I've loved about obama Over the last eight years at least it was a different face You know just shoveling a bunch of shit at me as opposed to just fucking. I mean, can we just get out of the fucking? Bush clinton bush clinton. I don't want to do that. You know I really don't and also when a woman becomes president. It's gonna it's gonna crush me To watch how excited women are gonna be as if it's gonna make a bit of fucking difference And I don't mean that in some hateful way towards women. I just can't stand people who fucking honestly look at the presidential

Office as if that person can can do anything You know, this is gonna get this is gonna get fucking dark here I think it's all bullshit when you look at what fucking politicians make It's pathetic It's pathetic what they make Foreigner grand to be president you get to wanted something grand to be a goddamn senator All right, and all of those offices cost millions and millions and millions and millions of fucking dollars to get

So you have to go to all these other fucking guys and then you owe all of them favors So you're bought and paid for before you even get into the fucking office And then what happens is afterwards somehow Like like something ridiculous like 65 to 70 percent of of senators are multimillionaires It's like how the fuck did you do that? If you just made a couple hundred grand a year because you're gonna get whacked in half in taxes You know what I mean? I just think the whole fucking thing is corrupt and um

Look at obama the first african-american president you would think that they would be So that should have been the most liberal fucking guy ever and he wasn't it was just to me It was just more of the same more of the fucking same more of the uh, oh these people are gonna get us More of that shit and just getting everybody to hate everybody all around the fucking world. It's just been all of that same exact shit and I don't think You know any of those guys I don't know if Who's who's you know the woman that I do like is the one who's fucking actually calling out the banks

And saying we need to break up the monopoly. That's the one that I like out of everybody that I've heard talk She's the one that I'm actually like wow. She's actually saying something you know um But I mean if she actually tried to do that she would get whacked And I totally believe that she would she get I don't know that they even have to fucking whack you now They can just they'll just destroy you if I don't know They'll go through your emails and they'll kill you that way But uh, that's that's what I that's what I feel about it. I think it's uh, I think it's hopeless and uh

Yeah, we're gonna fuck it all up and the world at some point will be unlivable because it'll be so polluted and overpopulated And then we'll basically I don't know something will happen a volcano or merciful asteroid And uh, that's those are my beliefs. So there you go Hey, maybe that woman was right that I am or at peace and hopeful On thursday re-ask me that on thursday. I'll be like, you know what? I think hillary is wonderful It would be so great for women everywhere and men All right thoughts on pete rose Hey bill big fan

I know you're very passionate about sports was curious where you stood on pete rose with all star game in Cincinnati this year now if ever would be the time to get for him to get reinstated now that you got podcast twice a week Thought you might have time to rant about pete rose sometime check out the link below if you have a minute Song I wrote put rose in the hall of fame. Love you brother. Um, I don't know, you know I think when You fuck up like he did. I mean, that's the number one thing you're not supposed to do. You're not supposed to uh gamble on baseball because that fucks with the the uh

The integrity of the game beyond like even like steroids um Because then then you're literally like trying to lose a game possibly Which at least with steroids, you're trying to fucking win at least you're trying to fucking win And I know he says I never bet against my team, but I mean, I don't know if anybody knows a fucking degenerate gambler I mean eventually, you know You get yourself into situations and you need that one big score and there's 162 games Why don't I bring that guy up from triple a and put him on the mound see what happens? Um

Um At the last second of course Um, I wouldn't mind if they put him in at this point. I feel like he he paid the price But I had no sympathy for the guy, uh You know for the first like 20 years of the shit, but um At this point, he's an old man. Just put him in there. I mean the guy He was so great for baseball And it's just unfortunate that he had that problem and um, I think he paid the price

I'd let him back in. There you go. Huh? There's a little thursday attitude for you It wasn't that nice I always had a little tear in my eye. Um All right, where are we going here? Uh daredevil Jesus christ daredevil dear wonderbill You don't strike me as much of a comic book fan. Yeah, I liked him when I was a little kid You know, oh boy. Do you think Aquaman could beat electric man? What about the gas burner? um

But you should really check out the new daredevil show on netflix. The fighting is great Uh, he gets his ass kicked which adds to the reality of one guy walking into a room and facing seven others Vincent D'Onofrio. All right. I'm already in Rosario Dawson. All right. I'm in One of the hot chicks from true blood is in it. It's dark as hell Please report back with a review. Uh, are you caught up on the following? I never saw the following Um, I'm trying to find where the fuck I can watch the pilot to better call Saul They don't have it as far as I can tell up on amc if anybody can find me that and like the first two episodes

I have the rest of the season taped episode three through the finale I have to do that first and then I'm going to go To daredevil. I really want to get into lord of the rings, but I just hate fucking period pieces with the fucking I just hate the clothes You know what I mean? They're walking around in those castles with no central heating and nobody is ever shivering I just can't get into it um, all right What is the following?

What is the following? What the fuck is that that is that it better not be a werewolf zombie or vampire thing If I had to guess the following is that about somebody who starts a church? Is that what it is come on old computer you can do it This is how long it takes my fucking pew in my goddamn neighborhood Because we won't have one of those fake internet trees Because it will muscle the integrity of the aesthetics The following the following uh Watch the most current episode on hulu the following tv series a brilliant and charismatic yet psychotic serial killer

Communicates with other active serial killers. How the fuck have I not been watching this? This is tremendous And advocates a cult of believers following his every command All right, so what they did was they took the charlie mansett thing and they they added a little little A little extra thing to it. He used to have to stand in front of him now these he can do whatever the fuck he wants Yeah, all right. I'm in Dude, can I there's never been another time in the history of television where there's been this many unbelievable shows to watch like it's insane I don't get why a tv shows so fucking great

And it's so hard to find a good movie now You know, I mean people steal tv shows too. I'm starting to think movies don't have an excuse anymore. Everything doesn't have to be a fucking hundred million dollar, uh I don't know. You know, I actually did see a great movie. I don't know if I brought this up. Did anybody see? Um wild tales is the name of it. It was um a movie made by some director out of Argentina it's fucking phenomenal. It's like six back-to-back stories

Almost it kind of seems like like a format like a Tarantino type of thing that he would do But they're unrelated, but there's a a overall theme of this really dark comedy Revenge and that type of stuff and it's um Me and Nia saw it the other day. We absolutely fucking loved it. Um called wild tales Definitely definitely check it out man. It was it was um I don't know. It was a great movie. You know, all right a great book bill. I am reading this book. Um I'm called men on strike. Why are why men are boycotting marriage fatherhood and the american dream? And why it matters? Oh, Jesus, dude

Why would you abandon all of that? It is It is a very in-depth look at the lack of paternal rights and laws in this country I've been talking to a lot of younger guys in the military about it So they don't get caught up um Yeah, but what they should have is on is the back end of that like okay, so if you're never gonna get married and you're never gonna become a dad And have the picket fence and all that you what you need to do is you need to go hang out with some old playboys who are in their 50s early 60s

And you will see a a sadness in their eyes that you do not want your soul. I will tell you that because as much You know as much as I go off and make fun of women and everything, you know I am 10 times harder to live with you know So I mean They're they're tortured by us too, but I really can tell you that going solo Is not the way For most people I would think I mean some people are just wired that way. I mean I have a little bit of that like I am a big time

big time Loner I got this weird thing where I won't shut the fuck up when I'm with my friends But like anytime we have like company and shit. I swear to god I swear to god like I I can only do it for like eight to ten minutes and all of a sudden I just have to get up and Walk out and be by myself Sit outside in the porch just staring at a tree. It's really fucking weird um Unless

Maybe I'm just selfish unless the subject is something that I'm interested in what everybody's talking about I gotta whisper this shit. My wife hears that she's gonna be pissed Oh great bill and then post it like she's not gonna find out about it Um No, I just my brain just shuts down That's basically what happens And it's something Nia said about me a long time ago. She goes you just If you don't give a fuck about something you just stop listening and it's really annoying

And it's like, uh, all right. Well, I thought I was listening to my inner voice You know, I mean what what the footy I am. I am. I am always amazed at people that are that have really good social Graces, you know what I mean? They come in They know how to throw a party make sure everybody's comfortable They notice that somebody's drink is empty and all of that. I just I just like hey, how you doing? All right, booze is over there See you later Don't talk to me. You know I come more with that vibe

I'm not gonna tell you right now the second I'm done uploading this fucking thing like, uh, I am I don't know. I'm just gonna go sit out on my porch Staying at a tree Thinking nothing I don't know. I think I'm probably slowly losing my fucking mind. Who knows? All right. Let me read the last mercifully read the last couple of these Live reads clicking on this Scrolling down Legalism these guys they're copy is always so easy

Legalism these guys their copy is always so fucking intense I actually have to confess to stamps.com. I went to the post office the other day You know what it was, um, I just wanted some colorful stamps Every once in a while, you know, I want some nice stamps And I got these I got these I stood in line And it was a shit show and it was every reason why I don't like going down there And I came up in line and of course I was the next in line And then the fucking person hit puts the next window sign there

It really should just say go fuck yourself and then point a different direction So I got battle of new orleans the war of 1812 stamps Which I think are pretty cool. And then I got these crazy circus ones and I hate the circus Got a bunch of scary clowns. There's a tiger and an elephant, which you know, we're abused Um I don't know why I'm telling you this and then I got a bunch that had flowers on them They usually have some cool shit though. They have like, you know, race cars and shit like that You know, I mean

What are you fucking eight years old? Well, you know what? I'm a big kid. Go fuck yourself. I enjoy that type of stuff. Anyways, um This is the this is the deal for this week, man The biggest thing in my life here is this bus tour coming up and I gotta tell you, uh I'm so fucking excited to be going to these cities because I've never been there And I'm gonna be in front of a bunch of people That I haven't had the opportunity to to perform in front of and their vibe. I'm never gonna It's gonna be a new experience You know

When you get out of your comfort zone and there's gonna be a lot of shit that I'm gonna say That they're gonna take maybe in a different way, which will cause other things to happen It's gonna be and it's gonna be so much fun And I'm gonna not understand what they're saying sometimes the other way around. It's the fucking greatest and Uh, it's gonna be me paul versey and jason lawhead and uh I can't wait. So please if you're in the area, please come out tell your friends about it And uh, we'll give you a great show and with that that is the podcast for this week. So once again Congratulations to the senators. You guys deserved it. You were the better fucking team. Congratulations to the penguins

The fucking penguins Rangers even the canadiens congratulations all you guys. I hope you guys whatever I'm not gonna be a cunt about this. All right. Good luck to all of you I hope all your dreams come true even though it will only happen for one fan base. Um So I'm rooting for the capitals And uh, I've kind of become a king's fan. I gotta admit it, but uh, I will also be rooting for the blues Um, just because they haven't won it. I don't even know are the predators in it I'll root for something like that then the jets they haven't won it

I don't know who gives a fuck You