Monday Morning Podcast - World Cup, Asteroidal Impacts, Dead Actors | Monday Morning Podcast 7-6-26
Episode Date: July 6, 2026Bill rambles about the World Cup, asteroidal impacts, and dead actors he'd like to work with.Quo: Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to http://www.Quo.com/BURR...ZipRecruiter: Try ZipRecruiter for free at http://www.ZipRecruiter.comBURRSquareSpace: Head to http://www.SquareSpace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use code BURR to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domainSimpliSafe: Right now, you can get 50% off your new system by visiting http://www.SimpliSafe.com/BURR See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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going on. It's Bill Burr. And it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, July 6th,
2026. Six, six, six. A lot of sixes. A lot of six is there. Dude, I'm going to play the
fucking lottery. All sixes, kid. It has just as fucking many odds are coming up as any other number.
One in a million. All six is one of those numbers, dude.
See, nobody thinks that, do they?
Well, there you go.
There you go.
I am back in the United States of America.
It's nice to be back here.
It's nice.
I like it here.
Nice variety of people.
I'm weird.
I'm an old-school white guy.
I don't mind other races.
That's like an old-school white guy now.
I don't have a problem with other cultures.
We all.
Almost did it.
Didn't we almost stop being racist?
Maybe not.
I don't know.
We were on our way.
Now we're making it great again.
I'm sitting here.
Oh, I'm sweating here.
Roasting, bacon, boiling it's like a sonar.
Well, London, don't make me laugh.
A bunch of cats.
Every cat with a man.
What was it?
Every cat with a long face?
I am watching right now
Brazil
almost
in Norway
and Norway
and
I've totally gotten into the World Cup
I fucking love it
I fucking love it
and
you know
there's still
you know
my you know
a little bit of like
something happened
something happened
but did it happen
oh no
it didn't happen
Roy, they thought it happened
and everybody went crazy
but then the guy stuck the flag out
and it didn't happen
just Norway came in
the first fucking three minutes
went down the field
gave Brazil the old right there
Fred fucking great pass
the guy sends it back out to the point
I'm just going to use hockey terms here
because I don't know any of this shit right
and then the guy fucking goes top shelf
into the net and everybody's going crazy right all the norwegians jumping up and down singing viking songs
aren't we will rape and pillage you again right and then they fucking and then all of a sudden they're like all the players always know it first
because everybody in when there's a goal everybody in the crowd is so fucking amazed something just happened
they they lose their minds like this is like the DMV of of
of watching sports, you know, where it's, it's like when they score a goal, it's like,
oh my God, they called my name. It's my turn. No, we needed 43 different forms of ID. I'm sorry,
sir, you're going to have to come back tomorrow. That's the off-sides call. So the fucking,
the dude comes down. They do all that. They score top shelf, and then they go to the review
or what I didn't think go to the fucking review.
Like the fucking corner of the guy's right sleeve
was blowing in the wind.
Like the answer.
And then they go, yeah, it's off sides.
It takes a lot of, like, courage to be a referee in soccer.
Football, whatever the fuck you're supposed to call.
We call it soccer, all right?
It takes a, you know, to just take that level of joy
away from that many people.
Like, the level of, like,
Confidence are cunt you have to be.
You know what I mean?
I was already thinking of a,
there's a good misogynistic sketch in this.
What you should have is a husband
hanging out on the back porch with all his buddies
and he makes a joke
and everybody's laughing their asses off
and then the wife puts the flag out.
Wait a minute, wait.
Oh, no, no.
The joke crossed the line.
One of her friends got offended
and has now walked into the living room
and is crying.
Oh, he thought he had a good joke.
He thought he had a good joke, but it was too off color.
Anyways, I'm watching both of these games today.
I'm watching the Brazil versus fucking...
Who the fuck are they...
England. England.
These are fucking amazing games,
because it's like colonizers versus countries they fucked over.
You know?
And then when it's like European teams,
it's like, yeah, I bombed your city.
Yeah, but...
But you guys bombed us too, you know, there's just so much fucking history of murdering each other.
I'm sorry, war, you know, conquering.
There's all these fucking words.
Like, if you and I do it, it's murder, but they do it.
It's, you know, expansion.
It's cleansing.
No, I just thought, no, we didn't, like, committed genocide.
We just thought that that country needed a life coach.
We were life coaching them.
Um, anyway, uh, Brazil's coach is hilarious. So he said, he had coach, he doesn't even look like,
is he like Spanish or something? He's dressed like a fucking, like a CEO of a cigarette company.
He's got like this fucking gray suit on. He looks like he works for like Winston or marble.
But anyway, I am back here in the States.
And, yeah, I got to tell you,
it was nice to get back here
and just see a nice wide variety of people.
That's the one thing I don't think that a lot of these idiots understand,
you know, how cool that is.
And you have all this different cuisine
and all this music and all.
I don't understand what the fucking problem is.
I will say, having not seen hipsters,
I mean, I do live in Hollywood,
so, I mean, you're just going to fucking see him.
saw a lot of like Vespas
and then the people get the Vespas
and then you got to get like the
vintage motorcycle like Vespa helmet
that they wore in like
those really cool
Fellini movies and shit
or you get like an evil caneval one
or something like that
and it's just like you know
I don't think I would go
you know
analog with
you know road rash
I think I would that's where I would be
2026, I would go a little Walmart there, you know, and get like the fucking, I don't know,
the food networks mash up with some chef and Kevlar, whatever the fuck they're selling at the end
of an aisle. Like, I would get that shit at the end of the day. You know what I mean?
You can hipster it up later. Oh, look at the guy. He's going down. He's going down. He's pushed out
of the fucking way. None of the hands are coming up. Nothing. That's not a foul.
I have no idea
No fucking idea
He's coming down
Oh my God
It looks like something's going to happen
And nothing happened
Yeah so then Brazil comes down
And then they get like a penalty
So like the new move is
When you take a penalty shot
Is you run at the ball
And then you stop
And you wait for the goalie to dive
And then you just kick it the other way
But now I think they're saying
The goaltends are anticipating that
and when the goaltender doesn't dive,
then you're kicking it flat-footed
and then it's slower
and then it doesn't go in.
So evidently, having a goal called back
because it was off-sides
is worse than missing a penalty.
Which, now that I've said that out loud,
that makes sense.
When I heard the announcers say,
I was like, you know, I don't know.
I don't think I get that.
So anyway, Billy Noviess,
Billy's straight edge
living like Henry Rollins
for like five, six days
like not even drinking coffee
I became a macha
one of those guys
so I ordered one of those
this morning
but I did get some latte beans
I was gonna do like coffee every other day
or maybe a couple times a week
but
I think as I asked I say
which one of these beans is good for a latte
that he ended up putting a latte in
So when it came, it showed up brown.
And I was like, that's a matcha.
And the lady was like, no, it's a latte.
And I was like, I'll drink it.
She's like, no, no, no, I can make a matcha.
I was like, no, no, it's fine.
It's fine.
It's okay.
It's fine.
You know?
And that right there, that right there is how you get sexually assaulted.
I learned that on Instagram.
They don't look for somebody weak.
They look for somebody that is like, does something.
don't want to do.
So that's one to grow on for all you guys out there.
When you order a matron and they bring a latte and you just accept it, you know,
there's a chance you might get ass raped later on in the day.
According to Instagram, you know, I'm not saying this is like, oh, fuck, I left those
beans in the goddamn car.
Hang on a second.
Jesus fucking Christ, I'll tell you, if it's not one thing, it's another.
You know what?
That's going to be like, that's going to be one that.
someday when I write my fucking memoir,
that's going to be the name of the title.
I wanted a macha.
And then it's going to be a picture of me getting like sexually assaulted.
No, I'm kidding.
Oh, Billy.
Why'd you have to go?
Ten minutes in, really?
Well, I'm recording in the afternoon.
So that's the danger.
When I record this in the morning, I have morning energy.
But this is like afternoon energy.
And I also, you know, I got jet lag.
So I've been up since 1.30 in the morning.
So I'm like 12 hours in.
Look at that fucking guy, coach in Brazil.
He looks English.
Right, Blake, we get out there for travel to me.
It can't pop with me, baby, and do it for the queen.
That's what he looks like.
We went a powdered wig and one of those fucking, what you call it,
one of those fucking, you know, they're court cases and they come in.
What is it called?
Cosplay?
Is that what they're into?
They're like, they like,
Like, yeah, when you go to court in England for some reason,
you have to dress like you're in Amadeus.
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, I, in class, hey, Jesus, I watched that fucking MotoGy race
that I, Oghura won.
Get his name right, man.
Incredible race.
And he kind of like, you know, he started in like third place,
went down to sixth and worked his way through the pack
and was very quietly, like,
having the best track times, lap times.
But they were too busy paying attention to Pedro Costa,
Marquez, and Peco Boniare, right?
They would just want, no, no, no.
Who else was in there?
The G. Antonio.
That was amazing to see him run Mark off the fucking track.
After all these years,
I'm Mark doing it to other people.
But he sent him into the fucking rocks there, you know?
Like the kind when you don't know how to make.
make a good walkway, you just throw the pebbles on the ground. And he got a lap. You know what I
liked about that? He got like the long lap penalty. And everybody he passed doing that shit, ended up
passing him. And he was right back where he started again. So it felt like really fair. And then
he worked his way through and passed him all again. Very nice work. But anyway, by the time they
realized what was going on, Ogura had closed the gap between second and third. And
against that guy.
What the fuck is his name?
Not Ron Francis.
He played for the Penguins.
That's his initials, RF.
I don't know.
For some reason, I can never remember that guy's name.
I got too many
microplastics in my brain over the years.
But anyway, it was just great to see him finally fucking,
first Japanese rider to win one in 22 years.
It was fucking fantastic.
Oh, look at that.
Is that a penalty?
Is that a penalty?
You know what I noticed that you don't really do in this sport
is you don't run the goaltender?
You know?
I wish they would combine this with hockey
because it is very like hockey
except you're running around, you're not skating.
Look at Jay-Z!
Jay-Z's at the game.
He's not there for the game.
He's for all those hot Brazilian chicks.
And you know what?
Good on here.
Anyways, you've got Norwegian chicks and Brazilian chicks.
You know, if you're not into the...
If this one doesn't pull you in, they should be...
You know what?
If you want to get America to watch,
go to the stands a little more.
Anyways, it was an amazing race to watch,
and Marco Vesecchi fucking wiped out in fourth gear.
Fucking ragdolled.
I can't believe he didn't break something.
It seems like he's all right.
But then what's his face?
The guy who came in third place.
Oh, Jesus.
What the fuck is his name?
I don't know.
I'm, I, look at you,
I, I, I stayed up on the flight thinking,
you know, oh, didn't I stay up till 9?
I'll go, just didn't happen.
Didn't happen.
Anyways, whatever.
I just like watching motorcycles go around the track.
Evidently, I can't remember anybody's fucking name anymore.
I was amazed that Alex Marquez came back
after cracking a vertebrae,
and he was riding like six place or something like that
by the end of the race.
That was pretty amazing.
not as amazing as the fact that despite even with the correct vertebrae
I believe Mark if he had to would have ran him off the fucking track
I love the coach of Brazil why is he dressed like he's in the paper chase
is that old school um
Jesus Christ that guy might want to do a 23 in me
um anyway uh plowing ahead here so I'm back out here
Oh, Billy, clean, clean shaven.
The acting gig is over.
I wrapped on it.
I could not have had a better time.
I actually enjoyed every single day right up until the end.
And I didn't get antsy or anything like that.
I love the people that I worked with.
And that's a first for me, being able to do that.
I usually, I have the anxiety.
I get the old fucking anxiousness there.
So anyway, we got back here to Los Angeles
and all this great food out here.
So it was funny.
Me and my kids were all jet lagged
and we're like outside playing fucking baseball
at like six in the morning.
Oh, my kids were.
I was making them waffles.
Then I went out in the side yard
and they're like, you know, kids make it a bunch of noise.
And then I kind of told them to stop.
I go, guys, we got to wait until at least seven
like construction can't start till seven i'm sure the same rules apply to uh playing backyard baseball
and uh but it was fun man to seven i just love that they go outside and do that shit um
they're not like iPad kids and when i tell when you know whenever i tell them to like you know
stop watching tv or something they just go all right but anyway i got in my drum room i got like a little
uh i got my drum kit and then i have like a little a little kit face in it like a little
20-inch bass drum and shit.
So I play this game called copycat with my kids,
and they come up with beats or whatever.
I'll play something.
They try and play it.
And I was out there with my son today, man.
He's fucking good.
He hits the drums like a man.
I thought the ball went in.
He hits the drums like a fucking man.
Just like just throws himself into stuff.
I love that about him.
But my daughter can already like play a beat and everything.
So.
and she was telling me the other day
there was some song
she wanted to learn how to play
so that's going to be my summer with them
swimming, playing drums and playing baseball.
Old school, baby, old school
to combat all of this fucking noise
that's going on.
So my new move
with my addiction to my fucking phone,
back Instagram, all of that
is when I get home,
I just take my phone and I just fucking throw it in the bedroom and I go downstairs.
That's it.
Just leave it there.
And I'm able to go like, you know, 90 minutes.
Like 90 minutes.
And then I go upstairs and I just check to make sure, you know, I don't know.
I mean, what I'm doing.
But I've been able to do that.
So, uh, I,
I don't know. I like this. I like the challenge of this.
Like having a day that's like no stimulants whatsoever.
No fucking social media, no coffee, no nothing, just sitting here.
You know? Totally old school. But with like all the advantages of today.
You know?
58 streaming platforms, 5,000 fucking channels.
climate control in your house.
It's not that bad.
It's not that bad.
But anyway, somebody was trying to tell me
that like a macha is three quarters of the caffeine.
Is that what it is?
I don't know.
I'm a mess.
And I know my brain is all over the place.
So I do apologize.
But I might end up hitting pause here
just because I got to go do it.
I have a benefit today at like five in the afternoon,
which is kind of cool with the jet lag shit.
But I'm going to watch the rest of this game.
I'm 37 minutes in almost to the first half.
The first half.
First period, dude.
Oh, this is the first game.
You know, a lot less diving.
A lot less diving.
I feel like this time around.
Neither one of these teams is diving at all.
But anyway, I'm going to try to go to one of these World Cup games here.
I'm out here in L.A.
I'm just thinking like, when the fuck
is it ever going to be back in the United States?
If ever want to go again,
it's going to be a long journey there, dude.
So I'm not going to lie to you.
When I go, I'm just whatever.
I don't even know what game I'm going to go to,
but I'm just hoping that there's just going to be, you know,
like just crazy.
It's stupid to say this,
but like I just don't want, like,
a couple of lame countries, you know,
that are just waiting for the hits.
You know, you know, like when you see a band, you only know, like, one song that they play.
You're just waiting for, uh, shoot that poison arrow through my heart.
You know, just waiting for that song to come along.
I'm hoping it's just like fucking crazy fans, but like nobody getting, like, killed or nothing.
Like, back in the day.
I was watching this documentary on Rooney coming back, which I know I watched before.
Like, Jesus Christ, like the way.
they get into these guys' lives. I watched that one and I watched the one with Posh Spike
and David Beckham. They're like the first Instagram couple. Their whole fucking lives.
It was just like they were making some peas and carrots like the whole fucking world was
sitting there watching them. That dude went too far with the tattoos, huh? Jesus Christ.
Such a good-looking guy. Then he just drew it.
all over himself. Like, why would you do that? Like, if anybody should draw all over themselves,
it's me, you know, cover it up, Bill. Jesus Christ, no one wants to look at that. This guy was
walking around. Every chick in the world wanted to fucking bang him. Then he just scribbled all over
himself, right up to his fucking neck. I don't understand. I don't understand getting tattoos
to that level. I'm not saying it's wrong, but like, uh, I don't know. Like, if I was a tattoo
artist, like, people like that, man or woman, I'd just be like, you know, you kind of,
you got enough here.
Like, you're a really good-looking person
and you're lowering your number here.
You know, like, what are we doing?
You're at 10,
and by the time I'm done drawn on you,
you're going to be like,
listen, I'm not saying the tattoos aren't fucking cool,
but like, you got to leave some skin.
You got to have some canvas,
a little negative space.
You fill the whole fucking thing in.
What am I looking at?
Where do you look at that point?
You just like, yeah, you just kept going.
I guess they get to,
addicted to him.
Jump start.
I can
I can relate to you.
Oh, speaking to that,
John Parado,
what's going on, brother?
It's John Perado.
At the funny farm,
comedy farm,
whatever the fuck it was called.
He used to book me
down in Rhode Island.
I read his book on the way back.
He came out to my show
and wherever the fuck
I was in Rhode Island
and he gave me his book.
I had no idea
that that guy struggled
with addiction at all.
I had no idea that he struggled with it while I knew him.
I had no fucking idea.
I had no idea.
He had no idea how long he struggled with it.
It was one of those books.
I read it on the plane ride back.
Now, granted, I flew back from London.
But you got to know, I'm a slow reader.
So let me get you the name of that book here.
It's John Perada.
I think it's called How Comedy Becoming a Comedian, Save My Life,
something like that.
And I was like, man, he's being a little dramatic maybe to sell some copies.
Then I read the story.
He's like, no, he's kind of telling the truth.
All right, John Parada book.
Oh, how comedy saved my life.
John Parada.
Fucking great book.
I give it two thumbs up.
Two thumbs up.
You know what's funny is he has all these pictures from back in the day before I knew him.
But then he has some, when he first started booking rooms, and he had a flyer in that book of some of some of the first shows.
He used to book these dinner and comedy shows at restaurants around in Rhode Island.
Like that's what he hung his hat on.
That was his thing.
And I used to do those things.
and he had a flyer in there,
and it was like,
name, every, like, name.
I remembered all of the people,
like, just people I hadn't thought of.
You know, I hadn't seen him in, like,
fucking 30 years.
And I saw the names of all of these people
on there.
I was like, oh, my God,
I remember I did gigs.
One of them, I was like,
I fucking drove to Rhode Island with that person before.
Really cool book.
Anyway, I'm going to take a break here.
Because,
uh,
I'm going to watch these next two games.
And I hope people who like soccer.
No, I'm just fucking around.
I do enjoy this sport.
And I bet once I'm going to be fucked once I go to a game.
I'm going to try to go to one this week.
I deliberately had made sure I had nothing to do this week.
Oh my God, what a fucking great breeze.
Great breeze coming off the ocean.
I'll tell you, people who don't live near water,
I don't know how you do it.
I mean, I'm terrified of the ocean, but I got to live near it.
You know what I mean?
It's got to be there.
You know what I mean?
Especially, you know, if like an asteroid or a comet
breaks into the atmosphere and becomes a meteor or a meteorite.
I learned that.
I thought there was meteors, meteorites, asteroids, comets, and cupids.
Now, whatever.
I thought that those were all different things.
but there's like asteroids which are rocks that go around the sun
and somehow they break out or whatever
and they just fucking start taking people out.
And then comets are like, it's like dust, ice and something else.
But anyway, I guess some big one hit in Siberia in 1907,
which is incredible.
So a meteor, I think, is one that makes it.
A comet or an asteroid that actually,
hits the ground and a meteorite is a comet or an asteroid that burns up in the atmosphere,
possibly. I don't know. Oh, Billy's getting out in front of his skis here. So my son was like jet lagged
and he's into space and shit. So I was on, I was on the computer and we were looking up some stuff
and anything that had an explosion he wants to look at. You know, he's a boy. He likes fucking
any of that shit. Space, Godzilla.
dinosaurs, sharks, snakes,
fucking anything crazy he likes.
So we were like looking that shit up.
But anyways, this fucking thing,
the reason why I like living near an ocean
is as much as I'm afraid of it,
like, you know,
if some comet comes
or a fucking asteroid, whatever,
and it just fucking smashes into the ocean
and there's like a mile high wall of water,
you know,
I would just prefer getting hit by that.
There's some New York Knicks at the games.
Yeah, everybody's showing up.
If Brazil's there, come on.
You're there for the game, and, you know, you're there for the fans.
Anyway, what was I going to say?
I just want to be as close to ground zero as possible.
You know?
You got to know who you are.
I don't have any snake pliskin in me.
I've always said, you know, if anything's going to hit here,
if there's going to be a missile,
there's going to be a fucking asteroid,
if there's like a fucking tsunami,
you know,
I want to be sitting on here
with my fucking feet up on my Amwa,
just watching some stupid, mindless shit,
you know, March madness,
just some bread and circus.
And just be my last words,
how the fuck was that off sides?
And then I'm dead.
I mean, that's, I mean, that is the way to go.
Not crawling out of the rubble,
you know?
shredding somebody's bungee cord to try to make sutures to stitch up your arm.
Fuck, you know, with a bick pen.
I can't fucking do it.
I'm not built for that shit.
Oh, look, the guy in the red shirt!
Oh, he was kicking it back to the fucking goalie.
I thought there was a breakaway.
I was waiting for the guy to take out his little flag and be like, ah,
we will not be having that much fun.
You know, I talked to some of these, uh, these, these, these,
These kids on the fucking the movie.
I just did over there in Ireland, these English guys.
And I was asking them like, you know, what's, I just don't get like,
I get off size, but I don't get why is a defender,
if the defender can stop running.
And then that puts you off sides.
They go, well, you know, if they didn't do that,
then guys would just be running down the field.
And I wanted to be like, yeah, and something would happen.
You wouldn't have to sing as many fucking songs.
I mean, you can sing,
fucking the whole Bruce Springsteen catalog
between fucking goal, even the solo shit.
All right, it's not that bad, but I'm just saying.
I'm an American, you know?
I need some titties.
Fucking car chase. A goal.
Something's got to happen here.
Oh, uh-oh.
You kicked it right at him, you red cunt.
That's another thing, too.
Then they finally get an opportunity,
and then they don't get it.
What do they do?
They put their fucking heads in their hands
like they're in a silent movie,
expressing disappointment.
We know your disappointment.
Disappointed.
We know your disappointment.
I'm going to shut the fuck up now.
All right.
I'm going to watch these games and go do this show.
And through the magic of editing, I'll be right back.
All right.
And I'm back with completely different energy.
It's 5.15 in the morning.
Yeah.
Slept to Lake 4.
There you go.
So tomorrow I should be on time.
And that's one to grow on.
Benefit went great.
Just a really cool show.
Obviously good cause or whatever.
And then I came home and I watched the...
Sorry, I initially said it was Brazil versus England.
I meant Norway.
Oh my God.
What about that giant Viking in that fucking game?
Jesus Christ.
He was like amazing.
scary at the same time when he was staring at the crowd i'm like wow this guy's like the fucking
braveheart guy but then he kind of had like that Frankenstein brow like i do and i'm like uh did
they put this guy in the oven long enough did he come out a little soon um anyway he just
absolutely dominated um anyway and then i watched yeah england versus uh mexico
and that was a wild game that was a wild game
I'm trying to keep it like it's it's I was thinking their goalie was talking shit in that
game that was the other one the Brazil go game and I love when that guy went up to take the
penalty and he's talking shit the goaltender's talking shit and then the stupid announcers
talking about the Brazilian guy going I don't know what he's talking just go up and go shoot
It's like, the other guy's been running his fucking yap the whole game.
This is great.
They're both talking shit.
It's fucking alpha male stuff.
It was fantastic.
And then I like when the guy scored the goal and he gave him shit and the goal, he just smiled and laughed.
Like, yeah, you got me.
Yeah.
It's like they're enjoying it.
And they were both able to handle winning or losing in that moment.
Just why can't you fucking enjoy that?
was actually inspired by that.
They both totally believed in themselves.
They both talked their shit.
Made the best man win.
The Brazilian guy got him and, you know, talked a little more shit as you would.
And, you know, the goalie laugh gave a little playful push.
That was fucking fantastic.
Nothing wrong happened there.
Anyway, Jesus, Christ, how about that fucking crowd?
At Aztec Stadium.
I don't like that throwing beer at people when they fucking score.
That's some fucking Bush League shit.
But other than that, like the energy in that place was fantastic.
So now England moves on.
They got the back-to-back goals in like under a minute.
So much of this reminds me of hockey.
You know, as they're announcing the previous goal, you fucking score again.
And you're sitting like, what the hell happened, man?
We were fucking tied.
Now we're down by two.
But I don't know.
All I can say is that there's just so much shit going on that I can't talk intelligently about this game because I don't watch it enough.
But the World Cup has been fantastic.
So, anyway, yeah, I went down and did a benefit.
One of my favorite places in L.A., the Elysian Theater.
I did a couple of warm-up.
before, oh, oddly enough, I did that soccer place in Rhode Island.
So the benefit was there last night for trying to do whatever we can to help out people
down in Venezuela, man, that's fucking brutal, absolutely brutal.
You know, I wish our tax dollars, like, there's a great foreign policy.
Why don't we intervene then when people really do need help?
instead of liberating them from their natural resources.
But that's another conversation.
Anyway, let me, the fuck was I talking about?
I was going to try to remind myself,
oh yeah, yeah, the goal that is then everybody celebrates
and then you realize it's offside,
that's the world's football's answer to American football,
where it seems like every time somebody returns a punt or a kickoff for a touchdown,
everybody's going crazy.
And then you look and there's always a flag.
There's always some legal pushing the back.
Oh, it's coming back.
Legal pushing the back.
I fucking hate when it's illegal push in the back and it's totally away from the play.
Had no effect on the play.
I wonder how many kickoffs and punt returns are taken away in the history.
of NFL football.
I think more have come back
than have actually been allowed.
At least that's how it feels.
Anyway, let me get to some of the advertising
for this week.
I apologize, you're going to have to listen
to me read out loud here.
And of course, it goes all the way
down to the fucking bottom.
Now, this time I clicked on it.
I was at the top
and it goes all the way down to the bottom.
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Mercifully, yeah, the ad reads are done. Let's get into the reads for this week. Now for some reason,
it just keeps going down to the bottom.
Who knows?
All right, World Cup Games.
Dear Billy Belfast.
I got to tell you, that city really fucking grew on me.
I was excited to go there, and then I got there,
and I was there for two days.
I'm like, this place sucks.
Everything closes at 5.
Did I already say this?
And then I figured out where to go,
and I was like, oh, wait a minute.
No, I love this place.
And I lost my wallet,
and somebody returned it with all the money in it.
So Belfast is good with me.
All right, long time listener.
here just wanted to write in to share some positive news for once i attended the netherlands first
tunisia world cup games in kansas city this past week and the overall vibe could not have been better
everyone in kc was super welcoming and arrowhead stadium was a fantastic venue was always cool to see it
was also cool to see it before it got turned out torn down yeah people are fucking cool you know last
yet last yesterday when i when i went to
I did that benefit, you know, just everybody involved in that benefit.
The people who put it together, you know, the comics that went on stage,
I think it was the people who put it together and the comics that went on stage
were the same people.
The people in the crowd, you know, people are, most people are empathetic and feel bad
when they see something bad happen to somebody and they want to help out.
All right.
It's just the lizard people at the top
You think that there's not enough
Not enough money, not enough places to live,
Not enough food, not enough jobs,
the whole, it's all bullshit.
Recessions, all of it.
It's all fucking bullshit.
Let's see Neil deGrasse Tyson talk about that.
You know, take a break from the fucking molecules.
Everyone in care,
why doesn't he explain while some people don't have the fucking empathy molecules?
All right, everyone in KC was super welcoming, and Arrowhead Stadium was a fantastic venue.
It was also cool to see it before it got torn down.
I can't believe they're tearing that down.
64 toss power trap.
Actually, that didn't happen there, I don't think.
If it did, it might have been the first year of the stadium.
Beyond that, the fans from both teams treated each other with the utmost respect,
and everyone just seems so happy to be there.
Given all the awful things and conflict going on in the country right now,
It felt like a real example of how well individual people would get along if it weren't for our leaders.
Exactly. What you just saw was reality.
What you just saw is what I've seen traveling around the world, the world, the world, the world.
People are cool. They're not hateful. They're not mean.
They don't care what you're doing as long as you're being cool.
Anyways, a person says, thanks and go fuck yourself.
Yeah, I think that's a great thing.
And I think the reality of that,
the experience you just have,
the experience I've had through traveling and all of that,
it's like, why do these world leaders present the exact opposite?
You know, especially us, always walking around
talking about how we're the fucking beacons of freedom
and sucking our own dicks.
And then when something actually tragic hapsons,
people actually need help, we don't do anything.
The level that we've been fucking with Venezuela,
trying to draw them into a war,
trying to take over their fucking country and all that.
Now they actually need help.
And the politicians aren't doing shit.
All right.
I don't know.
I got to stop.
I'm feeling like I'm going into my Lenny Bruce years
where I'm just going to be reading off of a fucking legal pad.
All right, MotoGP, everybody.
Bill, big fan.
Love your podcast and stand up.
I know you love watching MotorGP.
I do as well.
have to watch Moto 2 and Moto 3.
Dude, I got two kids.
I got to pick
windows where I can watch this shit.
These races are nail biters.
I love the Moto 3 bikes.
For some reason, I feel like I could handle that bike,
even though I know I couldn't.
But just those skinny tires and shit,
it just seems like I wouldn't go flying
off the back of it.
I don't know.
Always three or more riders,
always battling to the finish line.
give the last two races a look i'm going to do that motor two in assin did i say right was amazing
and motor three in checknia was fantastic these young men are absolutely fearless a handful of them
will be riding a motor gp next year side note motor two bikes all have the same engines so you really
get to see individual rider skill yeah and the pit crew um doing whatever they can to give them an extra
bit of uh of an edge all the best
All right, what do we got here?
Acting.
It says, hey, Bill, if you could act opposite one actor who is dead,
who would it be and what kind of scene would it be?
Take your time answering, we have all day.
One actor who is dead.
Oh, my God, two, one.
Holy shit.
So basically the entire history of Hollywood and all of these amazing actors.
I mean, I don't even know where to begin.
I mean, I would John Cassavetti's, I mean, John Cassavetti, Peter Fock and Gina Rowlands, Karen Black.
A lot of them would be female.
because the dynamic of being actually in like a relationship with them
beyond just like a friend or a worker,
but the whole male-female dynamic.
Fuck, there's so many.
I just loved like those three in particular
and the choices they made and the projects that they made.
I mean, Peter Lorry, Humphrey Bogart,
and he's got the stars like Bronson, Lee Marvin,
dude, Elizabeth Taylor, who was afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Peter Sellers, uh,
fuck.
I don't know.
I honestly can't ask that.
I think I would be in a John Cassavetti's movie
with Peter Fock and Gina Rollins.
Man, Robert DuBall.
Fuck.
Yeah, I have,
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know what's telling you on that one.
That is just, that is, for me, that's like when you see nerds talking about the universe expanding.
And I also, my knowledge of actors is, you know, I grew up watching sports and movies and shit like that.
That's why, you know, I missed a lot of movies, some of the more popular ones.
like um i was trying to explain that to somebody younger where it was just like dude if you missed a
movie you just fucking missed it and um and tv was tv and movies were movies and that was it and the reason
why i know all those old school guys is because you know we i grew up you know it just was like
your parents taking into the fucking movies every weekend was just not something that was done
like everybody's parents were working um you worked all day you just left and there was no cell phones
they just fucking left latchkey generation you know so um yeah i i just i the movies i watch
were the like the sunday night movies and the shit that was on w lvii tv 56 and w sbk tv 38 so
once a year they would show kelly's heroes
The dirty dozen, the bridge on the river Kwai, the good to bad and the ugly.
Like, I just grew up watching those movies.
And occasionally, like, something you missed in the movies,
they would then edit for TV like fucking five years later.
And people would be freaking out.
Like, oh, my God.
Like, one of the Peter Sellers' Pink Panthers movies is the Sunday Night movie of the week.
or if they made like a made for TV movie
like the level that it was hyped
and how many people watched it
like probably the biggest one
when I was growing up was this movie
made for TV movie the day after
and it was about a nuclear holocaust
and people really got like fucked up
like watching it and
and they had like teachers
were like talking to kids and shit
you know so they can handle it
it was funny like the analog part of my life it was way more like simple obviously because
I was younger and had less responsibilities but like as much as it was simple like when shit
was big it was like everybody saw it was fucking huge um I don't know how to explain it to kids today
but just imagine if there was like seven websites
and seven websites only.
And there was only, like, whatever time you went on those websites,
whatever that was on, that's all that was on.
You didn't have an infinite amount of things that you could click.
You didn't have your own personal algorithm.
It's like, no, this is what we're showing.
And if you're on this website, this is what you're watching.
And everybody on the website is watching this shit.
like shows used to get like hit shows used to get like a 30 share which was a third of the
allegedly a third of the fucking country was watching the show and now i don't know what happened
we've all spun off into our own little worlds um believe me it was always filtered it was
always controlled but the ability to control um what's
somebody thought was a lot more. I mean, they've always been good at it, but, um, you know,
using racism, nationalism, homophobia, sexism and all of that shit, just to keep his fucking
divided. And, but like, there was like the, the, the level of like critical thinking back then.
And it was actually like encouraged. Um, it's kind of frightening now how they, they're kind of
I think they're in the process of turning all of us like, you know, when you just see like extreme
poverty. Like, I remember seeing this footage of when the train that was bringing Bobby Kennedy's
body back to the East Coast, they brought it back by train. And everyone was standing on the side of
the tracks or on the platforms. And as they'd go through cities, you'd see everything in the crowd of
platforms. And I just remember this one thing that just stuck out. It was this poor,
white family and like the kids had no shoes and like no shirts they just had like rags on
like that level of fucking poverty and then also like that level of like back then like
you were just sort of whatever you could get out of your TVs whatever you could get out of it
but whatever you lived if you lived in the middle of nowhere and you were that level broke
like your worldview and and the stuff that you knew
or didn't know was astounding.
And I feel like they're able to do that now
with people that live in cities
with museums right down the street,
all different religions.
And like, it used to be if you lived in a city,
like the experience that you got,
even the difference between living in the suburbs
and living, like, oh, obviously,
I moved from the suburbs to, like, New York City.
And just like the life experience change of that,
that I got, like how much my brain expanded by being exposed to that many different people
in like cultures and braces and all of that stuff.
I feel like all of this shit now that where you can just kind of go off on your own fucking
trip into this stuff.
I don't know.
I just feel like they're just dumbing us.
Like mentally, we're all going to be like that heartbreaking family that I saw,
like that level of poverty, you know?
Like what big business did to West Virginia?
That's one of the fucking,
one of the most gorgeous states I've ever been in.
And I've never seen like,
just collectively an entire state getting fucked
the level that that state got fucked.
And then what does everybody do?
They turn around regular people
and they make fun of people in West Virginia
rather than being like,
those people are us.
Like, why did you do that to them?
Anyway, I think my answer was John Cassavetes.
George C. Scott, I mean, come on, people.
You can't just do that.
Fuck.
Yeah, all of those, yeah, all of those people back there
and all the way up to, like, Chadwick Bowman,
you know, I just sell them in the Black Panther stuff.
And then I watched, I'm so bad,
I remember the names of the movies,
but I watched this movie that,
It looked like a play.
It was about these musicians.
It's a period piece.
And his acting in that, I was like, oh, my God.
Jesus Christ.
He was phenomenal.
So, yeah, that's too big.
It's a great question, though.
Great question, because it made me think about all the great movies I've watched.
Anyway, all right.
Well, that is the podcast, everyone.
I don't know what this.
I don't know.
It's fucking early here.
All right, let's just close it.
It was always to.
Go fuck yourself.
I'll check in on you on Thursday.
And I don't know.
Keep fighting a good fight.
There's these fucking CEO suited cunts.
Steer us into the sun.
All right, I'll see you.
Hey, I'm Andrew Santino.
And I'm Bobby Lee.
And we made something completely insane.
We took celebrities.
We put them in my mom's basement.
We throw trivia at them.
We hit him with absurd challenges.
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Nobody knows the rules.
We barely know the rules.
It's chaos.
It's comedy.
It's The Bad Game Show.
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