Monday Morning Podcast - World Cup Takes, Creation, End Times | Monday Morning Podcast 7-16-26

Episode Date: July 16, 2026

Bill rambles about World Cup takes, creation, and end times.(00:00) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast(34:48) - Thursday Afternoon Throwback 7-16-26 - Bill rambles about anger relapse, Eastern... Europe, and Stealing the World Cup.Thursday Afternoon Interlude: Mitch Murder - Ocean AvenuePolicy Genius: Head to http://www.PolicyGenius.com/BURR to compare life insurance quotes from top companies and see how much you could saveSimpliSafe: Right now, you can get 50% off your new system by visiting http://www.SimpliSafe.comHims: To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit http://www.Hims.com/BURRSquarespace: Check out http://www.Squarespace.com/BURR for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use code BURR to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domainShipStation: Get started with ShipStation today and get sixty days free at http://www.ShipStation.com with the code BURRFast Growing Trees: Listeners get 20% off their order with code BURR at http://www.FastGrowingTrees.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:01 Oh, look who it is, everybody. Meandis, meandies, why don't you change your drawers? Do do do do, do. Meyndies, mey, you're smelling like a bunch of whores. All right, sorry. Meandies, everybody. You know, there's a certain confidence that comes with knowing you look good, even before you leave the house.
Starting point is 00:00:19 Meandies gets that. They're not in the dock here, which is why their contoured pouch and ball caddy exists. Why don't you cradle your balls with a, new pair of Miandis. Not just to look great, but to feel like you've got everything under control from the moment you get dressed. Summer's coming, everybody. The clothes get lighter and what's underneath matters more than ever. Meundis has breathable, buttery soft fabric that actually fits. Do they do everything but moisturize your undercarriage there? This is exactly what you want
Starting point is 00:00:56 heading into the hot months. Style for everyone. Hey, Miundis has a cut for every guy with over 10 different styles from boxer briefs to jock straps to their signature ball caddy pouch underwear designed to keep everything in place. Responsibly sourced,
Starting point is 00:01:14 they use sustainably sourced materials and work with partners that care for their workers. Who loves Miundis? With more than 30 million pairs sold in 90,000 five-star reviews guys everywhere are making the switch right now as a listener of my show you can get up to 50% off their subscribe and save deal and if you don't love it get your money back at meundies dot com slash burr b-r promo code burr b-u-r that's up to 50% off their subscribe and save deal and if you
Starting point is 00:01:47 don't love it you get your money back what are you going to bitch about at meundies dot com slash burr promo Code Burr. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast, and I'm just checking it on you. Oh, how's it going, man? How's your week on? Well, it's Thursday. You only got to see those people in your boss one more day tomorrow. That's it. One more day tomorrow, and then you got your weekend. You got your weekend. You got the World Cup final. Congratulations to Argentina. England bitch moaning and complaining, oh, Messi has the referee.
Starting point is 00:02:30 He tells him what to do. Listen, I can't tell if Argentina is cheating or if they're just like the Patriots back in the day. They keep winning so everybody fucking hates them. And they're like, oh, let's weigh the soccer balls. It seemed to me on that final fucking assist that he faked out the guy, created some space, and put an absolutely perfect ball
Starting point is 00:03:00 past like four England defenders, and next thing you know, he was in the back of the net. I don't know. And I've had, I've been having such a good time watching the World Cup. My condolences to the fans of the English fans, but I did get a kick out of finding out you guys had only one World Cup.
Starting point is 00:03:30 They've only won it once, and they keep saying, we've got to bring it home. We got to bring, like, it's rightfully belongs in England. I don't know. It's just that Caucasian fucking attitude where we're going to go into your country,
Starting point is 00:03:43 take your artifacts, and put them in our museum. World Cup is, if it belongs to anybody, it belongs to Brazil, right? They've won five. Okay, you guys, you won once. Like the New Orleans Saints.
Starting point is 00:03:58 You won once. fucking 60 years ago. I'm going to bring it home. What the fuck are you talking? I don't even get it. It's very New York. I will tell you that. Which are New York City people.
Starting point is 00:04:16 It's 90% attitude, 10% accomplishment. I mean, if you look at like New York sports, first of all, they've got 9,000 fucking teams. Once in a blue moon, they win something. But they talk shit every fucking year. and ESP and everybody runs with it. I mean, how many fucking times is some fucking guy
Starting point is 00:04:35 going to have back-to-back good games and they're like, oh, they're calling him Freddie Franchise. Old Bodega Barbie, Mikey Cutlets. Oh, man, genius. And none of them do shit. None of them do shit.
Starting point is 00:04:55 None of them win anything. Oh, look at this little fucking guy. Point guard for the fucking the Knicks. Holy fucking shit. Nothing. Nothing. What was it? Tyrone Lou?
Starting point is 00:05:09 Remember that guy? Like, you can get famous on back-to-back good games in fucking New York City. You're going to get a nickname. You're going to get a big contract. People are going to be dressing up. You're going to get on all the talk shows and all of this shit. You won two fucking games. Back-to-back Sundays.
Starting point is 00:05:27 then you can be Ituro Suzuki way out there in fucking Seattle doing everything but fucking making it's the sunshine for those people out there and you know, how much do people bring him up? Anyway, Jesus, fucking, I've run out of fucking, I can't even remember the amount of coaches and players, specifically in football that have gotten with the Jets that have gotten fucking nicknames over the years and the coverage that they're, the coverage that they're, they've gotten. I mean, God bless Rex Ryan. That guy got more fucking media coverage in his three years or four years with the fucking jets than I think Chuck Knoll got his entire career. Oh, he's in defeat and he's not going up there to kiss the rings. I'll tell you that, Rex Ryan lost. So anyway, haven't said that. Congratulations to the New York Knicks. Jesus Christ, You talked a century worth of shit And you finally fucking won once
Starting point is 00:06:37 So God bless you Anyway, you still, I think have less than the Miami heat But that, don't let that stop you Um Anyway, so yeah, watching all those English people fucking Just a, you know, I don't understand. I don't understand bringing it home. Your slogan should be, do you think we'll ever win it again?
Starting point is 00:07:05 Are we won and done? think about it. The last time these are going to be rough numbers here. The last time England won it, Mick Jagger was 24 years old and had a brand new baby at home. Now he's
Starting point is 00:07:21 84 with the brand new baby at home. They're still waiting. Pleased to meet you. Let me dump my load. Anyway, oh, Billy, gym rat. Oh, Billy, not fat.
Starting point is 00:07:46 I just did my leg workout. That's when you know you're back at the gym. When you show up on leg day. Okay? Anybody can show up on Vanity Day. Oh, I'm doing my fucking chest, my buys and tries. My fucking neck muscles over here, right? Leg day.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Leg day. What am I, a fucking soccer mom over here? I'm gonna work out like some fucking broadwerex. with three fucking kids. One of my favorite things I ever heard about why you do leg day, you can't shoot a cannon out of a canoe. And if that didn't describe 90% of the men
Starting point is 00:08:25 when I was growing up, everybody had the V, everybody was fucking yoked up top and down the bottom, like you just saw like, oh wow, this guy was like a fucking little skinny nothing. The legs look like The legs look like Seventh-grade arms
Starting point is 00:08:43 Like their thighs It was fucking unbelievable They would like break their upper bodies Up into two days I can't even remember how we used to do it It was just all nose crunchers Fucking Curling
Starting point is 00:09:01 Preacher curls It was like 20 different curls you did 20 different thing You know Inclined Declined No recline bench It was just
Starting point is 00:09:10 no back. People did the lat pole down. Dude, fucking Eddie can do the whole fucking stack. And you knew he did the whole stack because he had to drop it on the last one. Dush! And the whole fucking gym would shake.
Starting point is 00:09:26 But then every once in a while there was that one guy that was just full, like, roided out like he was going for the Mr. Universe. Like, I still remember going to a Patriots preseason game. And this guy was walking around. with no shirt on and like those coaches shorts,
Starting point is 00:09:43 you know, those bike ones. And dude, he looked like the thing, except with smooth regular skin. And everyone wanted to make fun of him. But like the guy literally could have picked up a whole row of people and thrown him down on the field. And that's back. That was back with the original steroids,
Starting point is 00:10:02 the ones that made you angry. You know, the fucking horse tranquilizers, whatever the fuck, they're not tranquilizers, whatever the fuck they were taken. you'd be walking around the gym being like, why don't fuck am I, everybody so much bigger than me? You're like, you had no fucking idea. And then one day you kind of parked behind the gym
Starting point is 00:10:21 because there was no spots and then you would just see all these fucking needles being, oh, there you go. That and cocaine took your, if you didn't do steroids and he didn't do cocaine, you were confused for a few weeks. Like all of a sudden, like, you know, with Coke, all of a sudden your friends could just keep drinking. And you're sitting there going,
Starting point is 00:10:39 God damn, man. It's fucking almost two in the morning. It was just like, it was just like fucking 8 p.m. They were still like 8 p.m. Fucking talking. Fucking grinding it. And I finally figured it out. I finally figured it out when each one of them went to the bathroom 17 times between like 8.30 and fucking one in the morning.
Starting point is 00:11:04 I'm like, oh, these guys are doing blow. That's what it is. Jesus Christ. But, you know, it was a good thing, though. It's like playing hoop with some of you that's better than you would elevate your game. So if you're drinking, okay, you're clean, drinking clean. And the other person you're drinking with is doing fucking blow. Like your tolerance, you know, just trying to keep up is going to increase. I mean, if that's what you want to improve upon, you know, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:11:31 I don't know what you deal is. I don't pretend to know what your goals are. Anyways, Harry the hat. Oh, he's going to be on the center this fucking weekend. And I'll tell you, Jets fans are excited. He threw for 300 yards one week. He's already got a nickname and a sandwich named after him. Anyway, plowing ahead.
Starting point is 00:12:04 So what do we got? We got Argentina and we got Spain, Spain. Spagna. And the final, who do you like? Now, if I am to listen to all those soccer hooligans, they're all saying that the Russians got the refs in their back pocket. I mean, I will say that fucking hand of God was ridiculous, and that did fuck England, you know.
Starting point is 00:12:32 But it's hard to feel bad for a country that colonizes. including my country too. My country, tis of thee. Give us your oils and other natural resources. Or we'll bomb you. And say you're terrorists. And say that we're the best. But it's only the upper one percent.
Starting point is 00:13:04 Everybody else is cool. That's how the world. works. Ninety-nine percent of people are cool, but we're under the one percent, and they're a bunch of greedy cunts. Oh, really, Bill? Did you break it down? You freckled douche? I'm reading this book right now. I mentioned before. Bill Bryson, a short history of nearly everything. And it's made me want to buy a telescope. What, to watch your neighbor? Well, maybe. But other than that, I want to catch these meteor showers. You know, it's all like that Neil deGrasse Tyson stuff. Like, if you put the universe on a clock, a 24-hour clock, humanity did not arrive until 11.51 p.m.
Starting point is 00:13:51 The entire existence of human beings could be put into that nine minutes. I hate when people have information like that. Because when they tell it to you, they act like they're somehow, like, you know, more in tune with the universe. Like, they're like they can control the weather at that point. And it's just like, no, dude, you just. somebody else figured this out and then you read it and now you know
Starting point is 00:14:17 now you're just looking around for some fucking summer school looking kid with a stupid look on his face like me and now you're going to say it to me and then I'm going to be like what? Dude dude that guy's like wicked smart it is fascinating though it breaks down like
Starting point is 00:14:34 those vents underneath the sea that maybe we came out of that the continents floating away from each other how volatile this is, how quickly it can all end, how many different forms of life have been here, and then just when it's extinct, it's just, you read this book and it's like, it makes religion hilarious.
Starting point is 00:15:05 Not saying there's not a God, not saying there's somebody who didn't fucking slap this together in six days. I'm not saying that. You know? And then on something, Sunday fucking he laid on the biggest L-shaped couch in the universe just watching Sports Center. I'm not saying that didn't happen.
Starting point is 00:15:23 What I am saying is there was a whole bunch of creation before we came along. So to think, I think we're just smart enough to contemplate death. So we needed an answer. And then we're self-involved. So we made ourselves way more important than crustaceans and fucking. I mean, look at alligators. Alligators, they just keep going. You can't say that about people.
Starting point is 00:16:03 If you're a person, you have too many steak and eggs and you do a couple of lines on the weekend, you might not make it to Monday. But alligators, crocodiles, they've been around for turtles. Is that of these fucking insects? You can tell us this fresh knowledge in my head. you see how quickly I had three examples and the last one was like
Starting point is 00:16:25 some of these insects there some of them little creepy crawlies you know if this is too deep for you guys I can slow it down anyway no it's really fun so oh Billy's in a fucking really good place man mentally
Starting point is 00:16:43 I did another one of those breathwork massages cried out some more shit fucking grunt the anger, anger on the right side, sadness on the left side, just getting it out of me. And I got to tell you, man, I am a fucking peach to be around. Okay, it's all relative compared to the other guy that I used to be. So anyway, I flew yesterday. A fucking helicopter, man.
Starting point is 00:17:17 It's just, it's not one thing, it's another. You know? I had a fucking alternator belt snapped on me. With the design, it was in the middle of the engine. They had to pull the whole fucking engine out. So that cost me a fortune. And then somebody, somewhere in the world, there, some part of the main road or the mast or so,
Starting point is 00:17:40 I don't know where it was, got corroded, probably because of the environment therein. I am in the driest environment ever, but aviation is super safe. So if one person, just one fucking person has corrosion there, they have to check every single one of them. So some air directive, whatever the fuck they call it. So I had to bring that in.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Take that whole fucking thing apart. And of course, they found nothing. And now I'm back. And the other day I was doing auto rotations in the trim thing. All of a sudden, the trim thing. Is that too deep for you guys? The little button on the cyclic. All of a sudden it was just like,
Starting point is 00:18:21 I felt like I was flying an R-22, like it didn't work anymore. So I bring it over to my guy. Of course, I set it down, and of course it works. And he's laughing. He goes, this happens all the time. And then he fucked with it a little bit more. Thought it was a wire. And it turns out it's the motor.
Starting point is 00:18:34 So I can still fly the thing. But it's like losing your power steering, essentially. But I did have a fucking beautiful flight yesterday. And it was funny, as I was coming in, every time, there's always some new experience. So with helicopters, they let you land a lot of times on taxiways. Just because we fly slower, we have the ability to stop, blah, blah, blah. And if there's a lot of people like in the pattern and that time,
Starting point is 00:19:09 and it's also just gets you out of their way. So I'm coming in, you know, at one point, once they say at your own risk, it's like that means the tower can't see you anymore. So it's up to you and your judgment. You really have to be looking and paying. attention so I'm coming in and where I'm going to land there's a plane taxi and going the opposite way so I'm like what the fuck you know and I'm like lower to the ground but I'm still like like 300 feet up so it's this weird thing where I want to be able to keep my air speed so if I do have to because I don't have
Starting point is 00:19:40 enough altitude to nose it down to get my air speed back so I can't slow down too much but fortunately the guy turns all right because I didn't want to overfly him I was just going to cheat over to the right a little bit and then just land beyond him but i was not going to get myself this like this i forget what they call it like the they the altitude versus your speed you don't want to be in the dead man's curve never fucking do that so you know i don't care if i pissed somebody off over flying them i am not going to just yeah i don't feel like dying right so he gets out of the way so now i come in and you know i'm looking at my spot where i'm going to set it down and then bring it over to the transient area and all of a sudden like this fucking Air Force guy
Starting point is 00:20:22 he pulls out his jet like he's leaving Rouse and it's like all right this is a new one and he's like taxiing and you know the back of his plane looks like the fucking Batmobile there's no flames but it's still the same thing and I'm a little I'm a little fucking aircraft so that by then you know I was going to hover taxi which is like 30 feet off the ground and all of a sudden he's going to be in front of me with that and I don't know what this guy gonna knock me over
Starting point is 00:20:55 what's gonna happen so I just sort of brought it down and like set it down and I let him go it didn't move me at all but it's like I wasn't gonna find out the hard way so then he gets out of the way and then I bring it over and I set it down and then you know my mechanic came out
Starting point is 00:21:12 and he's like all right I just gotta order he goes you can still fly it I just gotta get the motor so our new motor so there you go so there's that I got that going on um it's hot as balls out here but it's fucking uh july and that's another thing too you know there's a lot of people that who deny global warming as being um because of all this carbon that we're putting into the air and fucking up the balance the amount of pieces of carbon um
Starting point is 00:21:40 and what they they referenced the history of the earth and these hot and cooling times but like the amount of time that those periods took and the difference is those those were natural. I guess you could make the argument that what's happening now is also natural because human beings are part of nature but we're creating it. But no one is ever like, you know,
Starting point is 00:22:07 it's not like fucking dinosaurs we're going around driving buses. So I don't know. But it also like, it made all the craziness of what's going on right now a little less daunting to just understand that like, oh, well, we might be the first animals here
Starting point is 00:22:32 to create our own extinction. We don't need to wait for a meteor or a giant volcano or fucking whatever's going to happen. We're just going to kind of do it to ourselves. And, yeah. And there'll be a few species that survive. And whatever survives, then the planet has forever to heal itself.
Starting point is 00:22:57 might be 100 million years before like because i saw this thing one time if people all fucking died what would happen and the big thing was the nuclear reactors if there was no one monitoring it and keeping those whatever those things the reactors or whatever cool like those things would all melt down poison the seas and all of that and i imagine everything but like cockroaches probably cockroaches alligators and maybe turtles i don't know would be able to survive it and just start over again. I don't know. It's pretty goddamn fascinating.
Starting point is 00:23:37 But I got like on my nightstand, I have like 10 books and it's getting to be like clutter. So I've really been off my phone lately. And I've just been reading all of this shit to get rid of them and then give them away. So I'm going to finish this book. And then I got this Enzo Ferrari book that I think that Michael Mann movie was based on.
Starting point is 00:24:00 that I really enjoyed. The fact that Penelope Cruz did not get nominated for a fucking Oscar in that movie is one of the... I don't get it. I don't get it. She was so fucking amazing in that.
Starting point is 00:24:12 Anyway, so let's get to the reads here this week. I'm not going to lie to you guys. I got a bunch of them. So I already told these people, if I got to read this many fucking advertisements, I'm going to have to keep them funny or else you guys aren't going to listen. All right, policy genius.
Starting point is 00:24:28 Talk about your plans. coming up this summer. Then pivot to how policy genius does the work of searching for the best life insurance plan while you enjoy long summer days with your loved ones. Jesus Christ, how do I make that segue? All right, I plan on playing with my kids and doing something with them every single day this summer. And God forbid, you know, if I'm swimming with them and I'm swimming with them and I'm I fucking hit my head on the bottom of the pool and drown, you know, they'll make money. Because I use policy genius, everybody. You know, policy genius has been saving drowning fathers for years.
Starting point is 00:25:15 It's an online insurance marketplace that allows you to come, compare quotes from some of America's top insurers side by side for free. I got to get my glasses. Their license teams helps you get what you need fast so you can get on with your life. easy. Easily find what you need. Coverage, amounts, prices, terms, no guesswork, just clarity. Policy Genius helps you find your most affordable policy that meets your needs. The answers to questions, handle paperwork. Well, they answer questions. Handle paperwork and advocate for you throughout the process. Policy Genius has thousands hiccups. Oh, fuck, I hope I got hiccup insurance here. What if they never stop? What have
Starting point is 00:25:56 become one of those people? You know, and after a while, every hiccup feels like you're getting punched in the throat. Policy Genius has thousands of five-star reviews on Google and trust pilot from customers who found the best policy to fit their needs. Protect your family with the policy that grows with your life. With Policy Genius, you can see if you can find a 20-year life insurance policy starting at just $276 a year for a million dollars in coverage. Make sure you're married to the right person, though. I will tell you that because the second you get life insurance, you give your partner motive. Uh, head to policygenius.com slash bill bird to compare life insurance quotes
Starting point is 00:26:30 from top companies and see how much you could save. That's policy genius.com slash Bill Burr. All right, simply safe, everybody. All right, in the U.S., there's a break-in every 26 seconds. Every 14 seconds, somebody whips their dick out in public. Completely different stat has nothing to do with this. That means somewhere right now, an intruder is getting closer. The problem is most security systems only alert you after a break in has already started.
Starting point is 00:26:57 Hey, man, that's too late. That's why I chose Simply Safe to secure my home. Using Outdoor Camera Series 2 in advanced AI alerts, Simply Safe's U.S.-based live agents identify threats on your property, property and help deter them, stopping crime before it starts. That's real peace of mind. What do they do? They just yell, we already called the cops.
Starting point is 00:27:17 I can see you. Hide behind the trash can. Simply Safe is available with no long-term contracts and what? Deterance plans? D-E-T-E-R-E-N-C-E-N-C. deterrence. What's a deterrence plan? With no long-term contracts and deterrence plans, start at around a dollar a day. It's not the only thing you can get for a dollar a day. I want you to experience the same piece of mind I do, which is why I've partnered with
Starting point is 00:27:47 SimplySafe to offer an exclusive discount for my listeners. Right now, you can get 50% off your new system by visiting Simplysafe.com slash burr. That's half off at simplysafe.com There's no safe. Like SimpliSafe. Oh, look who it is, everybody. It's Hymns. You know, erectile dysfunction is more common than you think, and simpler to treat than ever. Through HIMS, you can connect online with the license provider to access personalized treatment discreetly and on your phone. So when did your dick stop working?
Starting point is 00:28:19 That's a discreet phone call. Through HIMS, you can access personalized prescription treatment options for erectile dysfunction. If prescribed. HIMS offers access to a... erectile dysfunction. Treatment options ranging from personalized products to trust the generics that cost 95% less than brand names that prescribed. Are you sick of paying full price for your dick meds? Why not get 95% off Viagra? Jesus Christ, you know, smoke less weed. Blow a little money on your dick. That's my advice. Anyway, you shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself. Hymns brings
Starting point is 00:28:57 expert care straight to you with 100% online access to personalized treatments that put your goals first. This isn't a one-size-fits-all, ladies, care that forgets you in the waiting room. It's your health goals put first with real medical providers making sure you get what you need to get results. Think of hymns as your digital front door that gets you back to your old self with simple 100% online access to trusted treatments for erectile this function. And more, all in one place. I just want to do a sample of that and just press the button every time. To get simple online access, personalized, affordable care for erectile dysfunction, weight loss and more.
Starting point is 00:29:33 Visit hymns.com slash burr. That's hymns.com slash burr for your free online visit. Hymns.com slash burr. This is the kind of place you go to when you're thinking of getting rid of your wife. I'm getting my hair back, my dick standing up, and I'm getting rid of these mantis. See you later, bitch. Featured products include compound drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effect and disquality prescription required see website for details restrictions and important safety
Starting point is 00:29:58 information and actual price will depend on product and subscription plan oh look who it is everybody it's square space you know this podcast is sponsored by square space okay i'm going to read this in the tone of somebody that's pretending that they're a gentle soul but they're like secretly going to fucking steal your identity and all your money square space is the all-in-one website platform designed to you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain. Showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. Your personal story to experience with it and to really make the ad personal, creative,
Starting point is 00:30:54 And your own Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in place from consultations to events and experiences. Showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Plus, streamline your workflow with built-in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. Just go to Squarespace.com. slash burr for a free trial. And when you're ready, when you're ready to launch, use the offer code burr to save 10% off your first purchase of a website domain. That's squarespace.com slash burr for a free trial.
Starting point is 00:31:42 That doesn't cost you any bread, man. When you're ready to launch, use the offer code burr to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. All right, ship station, everybody. Not shit station. But I'm not selling fucking porta-potties. From the makers of solo stove comes shit station. You haven't been sitting around your own fire and just so you think, like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:32:08 I really got to take a ship and I'm enjoying this fire. What if I told you you can attach a shit station to your solo stove like a sidecar onto a motorcycle? Ship station, everybody. You know, most businesses are overpaying on shipping. without realizing it, Shipstation automatically compares rates across UPS, USPS, and FedEx on every order with savings of up to 90%. Ship station, not shit station. You know what's a shit station is when you're on basic cable?
Starting point is 00:32:40 What's a channel you just like? This fucking channel, let's focus it. Ship station is the end-to-end order fulfillment platform for e-commerce business built ahead of your entire shipping. Shipping, not shitting. workflows so your team can focus on growth. Everything from order management to inventory and returns is centralized in one platform. And with automated rate shippings, you can compare rates across UPS, USPS and FedEx with savings of up to 90%. The sooner you switch, the sooner you start saving money. Get ready with shit station, shipstation today and get 60 days free at shitstation.com with code bur. That's
Starting point is 00:33:15 shipstation.com, code bur, shitstation.com, code bur. Taxes and fees apply. Holy fuck, there's another one. Oh, man, it's fast-growing trees, man. Hey, man, did you know fast-growing trees is America's largest and most trusted online nursery? They're fucking solid, man. With thousands of trees and plants and over two million happy customers,
Starting point is 00:33:38 they're bringing the vibes, bro. They have all the plants. All the plants, man. Your yard and home needs, including fruit trees. Hi, privacy trees, get the fuck out of here. Flowering trees. and the hack of trees, shrubs, and houseplants for lonely people.
Starting point is 00:33:58 All grown with care and guaranteed to arrive healthy. You don't need a big fucking yard or a lot of space. You can grow lemon, avocado, olive, or fig trees indoors. Jesus Christ, I just pictured a bunch of monkeys swinging around on them. Along with a wide variety of houseplants, all grown with care and hands selected to thrive in your home. That's when you're ready for the zombie. Apocalypse. You don't just need a bunch of guns. What if you're growing food inside?
Starting point is 00:34:29 You can look at those zombies. I can stay in here forever, motherfucker. You don't need a bit. I already did that. Okay, get all the plants you need without the messy car or the trip to the garden center. Right now, they have great deals on spring planting essentials, up to half off and selected plants. Dude, why don't you sell weed, too? You're going to grow all that food in my house? How about giving me a little fucking, you know, land? What was that weed when we were growing up? My tie. Tie stick.
Starting point is 00:34:58 Dude, it's tie stick. It was always fucking oregano. And listen to our show, get 20% off their first, well, listeners of our show, get 20% off their first purchase when using the code burr at checkout. That's an additional 20% off better plants, better growing at fastgrowingtrees.com, using the code burr at checkout. Fastgrowingtrees.com slash burr, oh, code burr, sorry. Now's the perfect time to plant. together. Use bird is safe today. Offer is valid for a limited time. Terms and conditions may apply. All right. We did it. We got true it. We got true all of it. All right. I believe this Sunday,
Starting point is 00:35:34 the World Cup final. That's another thing of fucking New York. They say the World Cup final is in New York. It's not. It's in New Jersey. Your fucking stadium is in the state of New Jersey. That's where the game is. Congratulations to the Garden State, New Jersey, for hosting the World Cup final. Why does New York get credit? They're always taking credit. Once again, 90% attitude, 10% fucking accomplishment. Fucking New Jersey, just sitting there, like the middle kid.
Starting point is 00:36:12 Between Philly and New York City. Just waiting to get some fucking recognition. All right. How about those Red Sox, man? They won nine in a row last I saw. I don't know if the streak ended, but it's baseball time. All right. It's also time for me to stop running my yap if you can believe it.
Starting point is 00:36:28 I'm probably going to shut up. All right. Listen to the music picked out by the amazingly talented Andrew Thumbulles. And then we have a bonus episode of an old school Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. That's it. Have a nice weekend. You can't. Hey, what's going on?
Starting point is 00:37:55 It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, July 16th, 2018. What's going on? How are you doing? It's Sunday afternoon when I'm recording this. I'm still in Seattle, Washington. I've yet to do my shows up here. I'm imagining that they're going to go pretty well.
Starting point is 00:38:19 I was in Portland, Oregon last night. Jesus Christ, great shows. Amazing people coming out. You know, even though I teased them a little bit. You know, I was making fun of some of the people in Portland. Do you know what I, like, what really amazes me about this generation or actually maybe like the past 10 years it's just the amount of shit that guys do in their 20s and that like if I did it back in my 20s I would get this shit kicked out of me it's really unbelievable is it bill how about an example I'll give me an example I was coming over from Portland airport by the way the first time I've ever landed here or ever landed in Portland I should say where it was actually just sunny and beautiful.
Starting point is 00:39:06 Like, I believe my first aborted landing I ever had was in Portland, Oregon. It was fucking raining. And the guy was coming in. There was all this wind shear, and then he just fucking went up and around again. And we were all like, dude, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:39:21 I remember this old guy was just like, you know, take as many chances as you need, many times as you need or whatever. It's like, just get this fucking thing on the ground. Everybody kind of left. So this was the first time. That was way back when I was, I was working fucking happy.
Starting point is 00:39:38 It's a comedy club down the street, which is a really interesting gig because the guy who ran it back in the day, you know, he would paper the entire room, which means he would give the show away. So you go in on a Tuesday, and the place would be packed with people who, you know, won a comedy show.
Starting point is 00:39:58 You know what I mean? So it was weird. It was like doing this giant office party. And you do one Tuesday, one Wednesday, one Thursday, two Friday, three Saturday, and then one on Sunday. But the cool thing is I got to hang in Portland all week, check out all these cool places to eat.
Starting point is 00:40:12 Now, I kind of dip in and dip out. But that's an old story. So anyways, we're getting back to what the fuck I saw. I'm driving from the airport, from Oregon, from Oregon, from Portland airport over to my fucking hotel. I swear to God, I saw two guys in their 20s on a bicycle built for two. and then behind the guy, those two guys was another guy. Do you remember those cars when you were a kid?
Starting point is 00:40:41 If you had like a toy car, you got in it right. It was made all out of metal. And then you peddled it. Yeah, this guy had an adult version of that car riding behind the two guys on a bicycle built for two. Now, this might seem harsh and I might seem old school. But shouldn't they be getting this shit kicked out of them? I know in a perfect world
Starting point is 00:41:07 they should be able to do whatever makes them happy but there's just something about that behavior where you're so begging for attention you know what I mean you just can't get on a bicycle it's got to be a bicycle built for two
Starting point is 00:41:22 it's got to be a little toy car and you're a fucking adult in it with your goddamn hipster beard like I don't know I'm really disappointed with the bullies in the millennial generation you know you're letting a lot lot of stuff slide.
Starting point is 00:41:38 Is he advocating bully? Something. A fucking spitball? Anything? I mean, I just, I was in the middle of the pack when I was in school. I got bullied and I bullied some kids. You know, I was right in the fucking middle. You know, I was background.
Starting point is 00:41:59 I wasn't cool. I wasn't a nerd. I was just one of those people that filled out your class picture. That's all the fuck I was, you know? Oh, look who it is, everybody. Meandies, meondies, why don't you change your drawers? Do do do do, do. Meundies, mey, you're smelling like a bunch of whores.
Starting point is 00:42:18 All right, sorry. Meandies, everybody. You know, there's a certain confidence that comes with knowing you look good, even before you leave the house. Meandis gets that. They're not in the dock here, which is why their contoured pouch and ball caddy exists. Why don't you cradle your balls?
Starting point is 00:42:36 with a new pair of Miandis. Not just to look great, but to feel like you've got everything under control from the moment you get dressed. Summer's coming, everybody. The clothes get lighter and what's underneath matters more than ever. Miundis has breathable,
Starting point is 00:42:51 buttery soft fabric that actually fits. Do they do everything but moisturize your undercarriage there? This is exactly what you want heading into the hot months. Style for everyone. Hey, Miundis has a cut
Starting point is 00:43:08 for every guy with over 10 different styles, from boxer briefs to jock straps to their signature ball caddy pouch, underwear designed to keep everything in place. Responsibly sourced, they use sustainably sourced materials and work with partners that care for their workers. Who loves me undies?
Starting point is 00:43:28 With more than 30 million pairs sold in 90,000 five-star reviews, guys everywhere are making the switch. Right now, as a listener of my show, you can get up to 50% off their subscribe and save deal. And if you don't love it, get your money back at meundies.com slash burr, B-U-R-R-R-R-Promo-Code-B-U-R. That's up to 50% off their subscribe and save deal. And if you don't love it, you get your money back.
Starting point is 00:43:55 What are you going to bitch about? At meundies.com slash burr promo code burr. And I just felt like this pressure, like that somebody is not doing the job needs to get done. I felt like sticking my head out the window like fucking ogre in that goddamn movie and just be like, nerds! Just something. I mean, how as an adult are you supposed to sit there talking to another adult with a waxed mustache and never fucking bring it up? You know, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:44:35 I don't know. It's really is like, it's like how bored are you as a fucking person? person that you have to like become like a character like you go back and you watch a beer commercial from the late 70s or early 80s and then you just decide that you're going to dress like that guy but you're still going to be your douchy self but you're going to have you know his mustache and hairdo and t-shirt it's really fucking weird I don't know I don't know just the shit that bothers me. I'm having sort of a anger relapse. I was
Starting point is 00:45:14 doing so well. And the other day I snapped in the car when this fucking person just, you know, took them like nine tries to parallel park. And it actually felt weird to yell in the car because I hadn't in a good three weeks. So I tried to get
Starting point is 00:45:31 it in check, but I think I let the fucking genie out of the bottle. So I need to sit down and work on myself again because today when we were flying from Portland up to Seattle you know, we were bored in the plane and I was in the first group, you know,
Starting point is 00:45:51 after people in the military, people with disabilities, people with kids, people with dogs that make them feel like it's okay to fly, people with acne problems. Like, I don't know how many fucking groups there are now before group one boards. Group one is really like group 26 at this point, right? You know?
Starting point is 00:46:11 it's blue shirt Fridays anybody with a blue shirt can now board anyway so we walk out into the tarmac to board right and I see this woman in front of me has stopped you know it's like one of these deals where you walk outside to get on the plane there's this little zigzag sort of ramp you have to walk up and she stopped while this flight attendant is helping this other woman up there so I'm thinking at my head well you know she didn't tell me to stop so I'm going to walk around this lady. I was kind of being a douche and I went to walk around her and she fucking stuck her hand out
Starting point is 00:46:46 like that. She told me to wait and she kind of like hit me with her hand. She did like the mother thing. And she was like old, like white hair and shit. And like the shit that went through my fucking head. Not initially when she hit me. I was just surprised. Like what the fuck? She just hit me. Oh my God. And the level that I judged her. I was like, is that how you got up into first class? You fucking competitive cunt? You know? Meanwhile, I was going to walk around her.
Starting point is 00:47:18 And I knew I was supposed to wait. And I was being a douche. I just kept playing it over my head that I just wish I walked right through her little fucking stiff arm that she gave me. And I ended up sitting behind her on the plane. And in my brain's telling me to hit the back of her chair to rattle her head a little bit. But, you know, the rest of my brain is going, dude, it's an old woman. Why are you letting her get to you like this?
Starting point is 00:47:42 And then when we landed, I was thinking like, she's not married. There's no fucking way any guys putting up with her. And I looked and she had a wedding ring. And I was just like, what the fuck is wrong with me? So we're getting off the plane. Now we walked down one of those ramps. And I was actually laughing at myself
Starting point is 00:47:59 because I knew I was going to have to pass her and get into the airport before her. You know, just to somehow make up for that fucking moment, right? How fucking stupid is that? And then I do it. I turn around and. glance and look at her. She doesn't even know that I exist. And I wasted all of that energy. You know, it probably took, probably, I don't know, 40 seconds off my life with that level of just,
Starting point is 00:48:23 you know, it was like legit hate. Like I hated this person. I mean, I don't like, since she, she fucking touched me, you know. What am I, what are you supposed to do? You don't want to me supposed to say, hey, day. Yell at some old lady. Get your fucking hands. off me lady do it again you'll never bake another batch of cookies i mean what exactly am i supposed to be doing there i just you know
Starting point is 00:48:54 i created that whole situation and i really if i'm honest looking back i knew that she was flying first class so she was probably on some level of lunatic and i in a control freak and i kind of knew that if i went around her it was going to bug her i just did not
Starting point is 00:49:15 anticipate her giving me the flare chop when I tried to go past her. So I kind of got what I deserved. Oh, man. I can't believe how upset I let that get me. And I created the whole fucking thing. I really am a pathetic human being. But, you know, it makes for a good story.
Starting point is 00:49:38 You know, it helps fill up a podcast sitting here in the hotel room, right? Oh, by the way, so I'm in the airport, you know, before this lady gave me the flare up and the World Cup final is like happening and I'm taping it at home and it is so not a big deal in this airport that I can actually walk in public while the Super Bowl of the world is being played and no one's there's no spoiler alert nothing no one had it on it wasn't on on any TV I didn't see anybody watching the fucking game on their phone if I didn't go on Instagram I I wouldn't even know who won. It's fucking insane.
Starting point is 00:50:19 But anyways, I guess France won. All right. Congratulations. What do they say? Allé Les Blue, right? Alet Le Blue. Congratulations to France and congratulations to Croatia. A country of what, 4.1 million people, according to Pete Davidson.
Starting point is 00:50:38 And his Instagram page, that they got that far was fucking incredible. And I knew I was going to be happy with either person. winning and I obviously love France and Croatia was the underdog so I was rooting for them but I did not see the game I heard there was an own goal you know fortunately he didn't do that in South America so I think he has a chance when he gets back to his hometown but they lost by two goals anyways what the fuck are you going to do but I did not see it but I did in this world club become a soccer fan and I've gone from not giving a fuck to wanting to Google where the next World Cup is going to be so I can actually go.
Starting point is 00:51:19 And I'll go there with 40 other Americans if our team makes it and we'll cheer them on until they lose in the first fucking round or whatever the fuck happens. So anyways, I'm up here in Seattle. Portland and Seattle, well, you know, two of my favorite cities. What are your favorite cities? Oh, glad you asked Portland, Seattle. I'd say Seattle over Portland. You know
Starting point is 00:51:45 They're both nice Portland just has a little more of a hipster douche factor You know It was sort of a tie And then when I saw that guy The two guys in the bicycle Built for two with the kid
Starting point is 00:51:57 With the kitty car behind it I just like I fucking can't All right You know Then you come to Seattle And you got the New World Order Hippies I mean there's a lot up here
Starting point is 00:52:06 To kind of be annoyed with But beautiful cities Lush land All kinds of water That's just amazing up here. San Francisco, Los Angeles, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Chattanooga, Tennessee. These are my favorites. Obviously, I'm from Boston. Cleveland, Detroit, Buffalo, Pittsburgh. I think that's it. The rest of the towns can all go fuck them. I'm so kidding. Tulsa, Oklahoma. What's my favorite one in Texas? I'm going there in two weeks. I'm going to fucking Houston, Texas in July as a red-headed bald male.
Starting point is 00:53:02 The fuck was I thinking. Houston, Dallas, San Antonio, Austin, College Station. I don't know. They're all kind of the same. It's flat. The most shiniest new pickup trucks you've ever seen in your life. I've never seen so many shiny, brand-new pickup trucks in my four-door pickup trucks in my life. They looked like they just got taken right off the showroom floor.
Starting point is 00:53:39 Can you hear my stomach growling, by the way? I'm having a steak dinner tonight, so I just ate light like an hour and a half ago. I had a soup and a salad. Fucking old bastard. By the way, I'm up to 70 pounds on the lat pull-down machine. Huh? You like that? The fucking rotator cup is rehabbing.
Starting point is 00:54:00 And the person helped me out, told me I need to get up to about 120 pounds on that thing. and I have to do it really slowly so I don't fucking blow out my shoulder again. If I get up 120, then I can attempt to do four pull-ups, and I'm back in the game because I have a bet with Verzi that when I'm 70, I'll be able to do 10 of them. And that's not going to be a fucking problem.
Starting point is 00:54:20 That's what I'm saying at 50. We'll see. It's a long 20 years, man, I'll tell you. It all depends on how I do it, you know? If I lived my life the way I did last month, I won't be able to do two pull-ups. I don't even know if I'll be around to do pull-ups. If I live my life the way I'm living it this month, you know, I might do 15.
Starting point is 00:54:39 I'm crushing it this month. It was 16 days in. Old Freckles hasn't had a drop of booze. It's that shutting it down. I like shutting it down for a month. Give yourself a good fucking month. Then ease myself back into my binge drinking. I can't tell you this, though.
Starting point is 00:55:02 I have never caught a fucking cold like this cold. that I caught in Minneapolis and into whatever the fuck I went after that, Detroit. Jesus Christ. This thing has been lingering. I caught it on like June 30th and I was sick for a week and now it's just been lingering like, I don't know. I don't know if I need to lay off dairy or something to get the last little bit out of it. Last time I was on stage and I started like coughing.
Starting point is 00:55:31 My throat was getting all fucking dry. I don't know I'm sure you guys out there None of whom are doctors All have a fucking Reason why you know Maybe I'm just an old bastard Speaking of that
Starting point is 00:55:46 Speaking of being an old bastard I put the TV on In this hotel This hotel is really fucking annoying You're like I wanted to order Room service and I said Where's the menu? Where's the menu? I can't find the menu
Starting point is 00:55:55 So I call them up and they go The menu's on the TV So I'm like okay All right well I'm not going to get upset You know I've been getting too upset lately Let's just this is the way the kids do it nowadays let's do that and i go on there right and you know god damn well
Starting point is 00:56:11 that the fucking thing is on the tv because they because they want you to sell they want you to order through the fucking tv so they have that information what's his name who is he how old is he what food does he eat we've gathered all of this fucking information what kind of porno does he watch did he rent a movie all of this fucking information not to mention they're probably watching you through that little fucking camera on the tv too and then they just bundle it all together and they sell it. So I didn't order through the TV. I called instead. They've probably got something connected to the phone.
Starting point is 00:56:45 It's just fucking. It's fucking unbelievable. Can you imagine if you actually read the file on yourself that these corporations have, like the amount of fucking information that they have about you? And if they actually kept the video, because they've gotten busted watching people in their fucking houses, watching people in their houses, watching TV. What if you're banging your wife? You know? What if you're walking around fucking butt-ass naked? What are they doing? How is that
Starting point is 00:57:20 legal? It's unfucking real, man. These fucking nerds are making robots so you can fuck. They're down there fucking them at the factory, trying them out before they sell it to us. You got these other fucking nerds, they're in the goddamn TV watching your fucking your wife. And there's barely a ripple. Barely a fucking ripple. But as a comedian, if you send out a fucking tweet that steps on somebody's toes all of a sudden, there's like this big fucking dust up. If I ever get in trouble for a fucking tweet or anything like that, that's going to be my defense. Hey, hey, hey, hey, guys, guys, guys, I'm not fucking a robot. Okay? I'm not bundling your information, watching you're banging your spouse through your fucking TV.
Starting point is 00:58:07 Let's have some priorities, huh? Ladies? Um, sorry. Getting all fucking amped up here again. You know? Uh, all right. So anyway, so I put on the TV to try to find the fucking menu. And this TV is so, like, the only way you can, like, change the channel is you have to go back to guide and then go through.
Starting point is 00:58:35 I mean, I can't even, I can't even figure out the fucking TV. this is why I hate technology and why I felt like somewhere in the 90s they just should have stopped quality of life was good enough but this shit where it's just like I always equated to reading it's like I learned how to read
Starting point is 00:58:52 I didn't have to relearn how to fucking read every six months but like with computers and TV and shit that's what it's like it's like hey I know how to turn on a TV I know how to operate a TV and then the next day oh wait no I don't I don't.
Starting point is 00:59:08 Now I have to waste time relearning something that I would be like every time you got your fucking car every six months now you don't know how to drive you have to learn how to fucking drive again. We get it Bill. You don't like technology. No, I like it to a point. You know, central air conditioning, you know,
Starting point is 00:59:24 modern medicine and that type of shit. But I mean, we were all fucking good. Right. I mean, what if they really cured in the last fucking 20 years? People still die of cancer. People still go bald. You know? You know, people still get hammer toes.
Starting point is 00:59:43 Actually, they can fix hammer toes, right? Stop. Hammer toes, boo, do, do, do, right? They can fix those fucking things, can't they? Anyway, so I get into the fucking hotel here. And I saw this hilarious ad for this shit called ageless male. You know? And they're like, well, once you get over the age of 40, your testosterone levels go down.
Starting point is 01:00:07 Yeah, because you're too old to fuck. Because no one wants to see you with your shirt off. Because you're fucking old. And now people are taking these goddamn young pills. You know? You want to fuck right into your 80s? You want your dick to stand in attention. You want your balls to support the troops.
Starting point is 01:00:29 Get this fucking ageless male. All these fucking morons pumping all this extra testosterone. Isn't that how you lose your fucking hair? Isn't that like a testosterone issue? Like you have too much in there? That's going to be. fucking hilarious. All these guys going for abs that had a nice fat of hair, then they're going to go fucking bald. Now they've got to get the fucking hair plugs. It just never ends. I bet the guys who
Starting point is 01:00:50 make hair plugs also make ageless male. You know, and they've gotten, like, all the bald guys that gave a fuck enough to get hair plugs, they've kind of like, you know, you reach that saturation point. Like, remember Crocs? It's just, they ran out of douchebags to find to buy those things. Which, by the way, man, I've been like, I told you, getting rid of a bunch of shit. And that's all I see stuff as now. I just look at it like, that shit I'm just going to have to throw out one day. You know? We walked through the airport, Dean Delray, who fucking murdered last night.
Starting point is 01:01:32 Murdered. Do you hear me? Murdered. He was pointing out some store at the airport that sells records and all of this shit. He's like, man, that... He's like, dude, that store kills. You know, Dean talks. He fucking kills, man.
Starting point is 01:01:48 People go in there. And I just looked in there. I go, that is just a bunch of shit. I'm going to have to throw out one day. I'm done, dude. I'm not taking anything. You know? When I did that show, like last week, at the Hooters,
Starting point is 01:02:04 upstairs in the big room. When I left, they tried to give me a fucking hat and a t-shirts. I'm all set. Thank you. All good. Don't need that laying around the fucking house. I got so many goddamn jackets. I don't know how the fuck I have enough fucking jackets.
Starting point is 01:02:22 I could clothe every homeless person that's roughly my size in Los Angeles, the amount of jackets I have. And does anybody, is there a coat drive? It's fucking July. When's the next coat drive? I'm getting, I'm going to have one winter coat, one fucking spring coat, and then fucking some piece of shit when it rains. That's it. When the fuck did I become coat guy? I can't, I don't even know.
Starting point is 01:02:50 I think I have like fucking 20 coats. Got all this sports shit. I'm done with it. I'm done. I'm telling you right now, I want to fucking dress like Malcolm Young, rest of soul the rest of my life. Jeans and a fucking plain t-shirt.
Starting point is 01:03:05 You got to get the plain t-shirt. I'll tell you why. Even though you didn't ask, you don't have any emotional attachment to it. Right? If it says the Andorondacks, you're like, oh, that's where I went on my honeymoon. When I banged my wife up in the fucking mountains,
Starting point is 01:03:21 then you can't get rid of it. But if you fucked her in a plane, gray t-shirt. You don't remember that. And then you know what? You get rid of it. That's what it's all about. Look at this sad bowl of fucking vegetable soup. That's the age I'm at now, people. I'm 50 years old and I order a soup and a salad. And I eat it. And then right afterwards, I feel like I need a nap. Which is why you need ageless mail. You don't. Age naturally. Die when you're supposed to and get the fuck out of the way. All right. Let me read some advertising here for this week, shall we? Shall we? Let me read some advertising here. Um, Hotel Tonight. Hotel Tonight is the
Starting point is 01:04:18 only booking app you need on your phone. Well, what if you want to book some other shit? If you want to book a fucking stripper for a party, I would think there's an app for that, you know? Anyways, Hotel Tonight partners with the top-rated hotels to help them. them sell their unsold rooms and passes those savings along to you, which means you get great deals for great rooms. Unlike other hotel booking sites, Hotel Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, oh. I mean that Phil Collins song? Gonna make it right. Tonight, tonight, tonight. You can't tell me someone was in the studio going like, I don't know, Phil. I don't think that just sounds annoying. not sound like a fucking hit. Unlike other hotel bookings, Hotel Tonight, Tonight, Tonight.
Starting point is 01:05:11 Oh, doesn't, there's no fucking way I'm singing that for the rest of this. I apologize. Doesn't, doesn't have long, endless lists of a zillion hotel choices. Instead, Hotel Tonight shows you only the best deals at the best hotels. Rooms are categorized to help you find the room that's right for you. This is like a top shelf one. Okay, they're not going to let you know that Motel 6 has a fucking broom closet available for $3 for the night. You need another wrap for that. You know, that same app, you can probably get a bag of meth to go into that fucking hotel.
Starting point is 01:05:44 Hip, solid, basic, luxury, get the room you're looking for in the right place, at the right price, in the 11th hour. But it's not just for last-minute bookings. It's perfect for planners as well as procrastinators. I just realized I'm going to look. I'm going to the Michigan.
Starting point is 01:06:04 I think I'm going to go to Michigan, Wisconsin at the big house this year. I need some hotel rooms. Brow your destined, desired area with map view searching and get inspired to travel. Perfect for spontaneous weekends. Three-day getaways, staycations, the greatest vacation you'll ever take. Road trips, business trips, booking a hotel so you can use the pool, et cetera. Download the hotel tonight. Tonight app toy at.
Starting point is 01:06:32 Oh, they kind of ran out of. the copy here. Where do I download it? It doesn't say it says download the Hotel Tonight app Toy at, T-O-Y-A-A-A-T-O-Y at, and with promo code Burr, B-U-R-R, you can get $25 off your first eligible booking. Hotel Tonight, promo code
Starting point is 01:06:52 Burr. All right, that's what it is. Hotel Tonight, promo code Burr. Hey! Hotel Tonight promo code Burr. Staycation's the best, but this is what you do. You don't tell anybody you know that you stay in home you tell everybody you're going overseas and that your phone isn't going to work then you unplug your home phone and you stay at home you stare at the wall put on a bathing suit and you fucking drink a bottle of booze okay that's living all right oh look who's back old zip
Starting point is 01:07:21 hiring used to be hard man multiple job sites stacks or resumes a confusing review process but today hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done. Oh, Zip.com slash burp. ZipRecruiter sends your job to over 100 of the web's leading job boards, but they don't stop there. With their powerful matching technology, Zip scans thousands of resumes to find people with the right experience and invites them to apply to your job. As the applications come in, ZipRecruiter analyzes each one and spotslights the top candidates so you can never miss a great match. Zip is so effective that
Starting point is 01:08:18 80% of employees who post on Zip RecruitRICT get a quality candidate through their site within the first day. With results like that, it's no wonder Zip is the highest rated hiring site in America. And right now, my listeners
Starting point is 01:08:37 can try Zip for free at the exclusive web address, ZipRecruiter.com slash burr. That ZipRecruiter.com slash burr one more time zip dot com slash burr zip recruiter the smartest way to hire oh look who's here do do do do meundies meundies look at your fucking dick do do do meundies meundies it's hanging down nice and quick wouldn't it be nice if you had some more balls get some testosterone and fuck at
Starting point is 01:09:18 them all ageless mail and some colorful underwear and then you you're fucking back in the game as a World War II veteran. You've definitely heard me talk about Miantis. You know the fun, comfy undies that feel as good as they look. To those of you who haven't tried them yet, listen up. You can get incredible underwear sent to your door with Miondi's, meaning no more hunting around for the perfect pair at a crowded store and eventually settling for good enough.
Starting point is 01:09:46 Miandis are made with a sustainably sourced material from beechwood trees. This underwear is made out of wood, evidently, and somehow it's still nice against your balls. Their naturally soft fiber makes a fabric that won't sag down or ride up, unless your balls hang low, okay? You can't blame the underwear, that's your junk. Trust me, once you put on a pair, you'll get it. Feel free to improvise here about what you love about Miondi's.
Starting point is 01:10:10 Oh, I love the colorful way my nuts glow when I walk across the room with a pair of Miondi's. And if you're already part of the Miondi's family, tell your friends about it through their referral program. They'll get you a discount, and you'll get you a discount, and you'll get a store credit. It's a win-win. Still not sure. Well, Meandis has a deal for my listeners.
Starting point is 01:10:28 First-time purchasers can get 15% off their first pair of Meandis and free shipping. That's 15% off plus free shipping and a guarantee that you and your Meandis will be happy together. I can't see me jerking off in other underwear except this. Meyundies. Get your butt over to Meyundies.com and treat yourself. To get 15% off your first pair, free shipping and 100% satisfaction guarantee, go to Miundis.com slash burr, that's meandis.com slash burr. Jesus Christ, there's still two more. Let's give you guys a break for me reading out loud.
Starting point is 01:11:07 And we'll go to our first question here. Okay, Eastern European Tour. Good afternoon. On the July 9th, 2018th, podcast, and around 28 and a half minutes in, Bill briefly mentions an Eastern European tour. I was trying to locate specifics on this and wasn't able to do so. Do you have any information on this or is it just a pipe dream at this stage? Thanks.
Starting point is 01:11:34 No, it's a real fucking tour. Let's see here. I don't want to name cities. All right? Because I don't want to get people all, you know, thinking then I'm coming and then I don't. Let me just see what I can do here. Let me find a fucking email. Why doesn't anything with technology work for me?
Starting point is 01:11:57 Why can I get up to the fucking search bar here? There we go. Okay, looking for Eastern European tour. Burr, European tour. Well, that's the other thing. Come on, man. This was supposed to be easy, man. All right, Dollar Shave Club, press itinerary.
Starting point is 01:12:23 No subject. Is it this one? Okay. These are the ones we will. thinking about doing. Okay? I'm not going to say him because I don't want you guys to get all fucking excited and then I don't go. All right. One of them rhymes. Oh, this is a hardborn to rhyme. With Lutapest. Another one rhymes with Rog. Another one rhymes with Sienna. Horsaw
Starting point is 01:13:00 And Berlin Maybe I'm going to do Germany Maybe Cologne Slovenia, Brussels And I think we're going to add some more to that I mean it's maybe going to It's going to be in those areas Okay, because here's a deal dude
Starting point is 01:13:21 If I get close to your fucking country You know, just jump on a fucking train and go over Once you paper, please You know I mean how fucking far am I supposed to travel you cunts we'll see we'll work it out but i mean i want to do more dates than that so uh we'll see and this guy interestingly left says poland wants you uh dear bill my husband and i have been fans for many years we love the podcast and of course your specials and all the hilarious and creative content that
Starting point is 01:13:51 all things comedy is putting out great stuff look at this all things comedy appealing to people around the world world world world um that's why we're crazy excited about your upcoming European tour. We live in Europe, Germany and Poland, and think you should consider Warsaw, Poland, as one of your stops. There's a pretty lively English language
Starting point is 01:14:16 stand-up comedy scene here. I love it. Check out worldwide comedy, Facebook.com slash worldwide comedy and Twitter.com slash whatever the fuck that is, something about Warsaw. For some information. The food, beer, and vodka are great. Oh, you had me at beer and vodka.
Starting point is 01:14:38 You'll see the scars of World War II and Soviet occupation all over the place. For example, on the city, streets, and highways. Driving can be a serious hazard. A driving with Bill's special edition episode would be really funny. I could possibly do that. For some reason, they wrote WRO, like, Roar Claw. is a great university. I thought they spelled Warsaw wrong. Rorclaw is a great university city with an awesome history, which we know interests you.
Starting point is 01:15:16 It used to be called Breslau, and it was one of the Nazi strongholds at the end of World War II. You can Google Fet Sung Breslau or Siege of Breslau for some of the insane backstory. I will definitely be doing that. In fact, the Nazis evacuated the city as the allies were approaching. They evacuated the citizens to Dresden, Germany, where they were mostly all killed in allied firebombing. Yeah, in Dresden, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, whoever lost World War II was going to be tried for war crimes.
Starting point is 01:15:51 There was all kinds of evil done in that. Also, this is one of the cities where the solidarity movement started in 1980, which could to the collapse of communism. Oh, I remember that guy, the guy with the big mustache. He got you guys all mobilized over there. Forget the guy's name. Plus, there are like 400 dwarf statues hidden all around the city. Weird but cool. Anyways, we hope you'll consider adding Poland to your Eastern European tour.
Starting point is 01:16:18 We wish you the best. Thanks for the great content. You and the ATC network are putting out. We love it. P.S. Your name in Polish would be either Viljik or Vilush. Ah, fuck. I can, I can, just by those names alone, I can hear the fucking weight that I'm going to fucking be putting on when I go over there. I can't wait to do it.
Starting point is 01:16:42 I've never been there. You know, I'm going to talk to my, to my agent again on Monday about this shit. I mean, I might as well do as many as I can. when the fuck am I ever going to be back? All right. And so here's a deal. I'm going to go over there. And all I need is you cunts better show up.
Starting point is 01:17:07 All right? Because I don't be over there eating some fucking Bratworths and fucking Poland in front of three goddamn people. Going, we were the ones that sent the emails. Nobody else gave a fuck. I was actually going to order a movie in the hotel room here. And for whatever fucking reason, they want 2499. Is that because nobody's going to the movies anymore?
Starting point is 01:17:33 So they're trying to make back the fucking budget of the movie. I actually worked on a movie this week, written by and directed by the one and only Steve Byrne. You got me a couple days on his movie. And old freckles went down there. And I played a cunt. So it wasn't much of a stretch. I wasn't really acting.
Starting point is 01:18:01 I just sort of did what the fuck I normally do. Anyways, you know what the great thing about not drinking is? Aside, waking up fresh as a goddamn daisy. I mean, my freckles glow when I wake up when I'm not drinking is I got on the plane and I landed and I went down and I worked out and then took a fucking steam. And I'm knocking out my podcast here. I would not have done this. Granted, I don't have any crazy stories about going into bars and shit. shit, which kind of feeds the podcast.
Starting point is 01:18:36 You know? But at some point, I just have to make a decision here. You know? Am I going to wake up sober? With a less funny podcast? Or am I going to keep boozing and continue to crush the podcast game? No, I'm kidding.
Starting point is 01:18:58 I actually have no idea where my podcast is in the overall. I know these fucking people that do podcasts. the number one fucking b' b'b-b-b-boo-b-boo. Everybody has a million fucking downloads. You know, I don't want to get it. How can everybody be number one? Everybody's in the fucking top ten? Dude, I had this guy on as a guest and it put me in the top ten on fucking iTunes. Anyways, what the fuck was I just looking up? I want to look up that shit about the fucking Nazis. Dude, World War II, the fucking crimes against the shit that you read, like the shit that American troops, I read this fucking thing and this guy shot this Japanese soldier. And the guy couldn't like fucking move.
Starting point is 01:19:47 I don't know if he's paralyzed and he had gold teeth. And the dude was still alive. And the fucking guy took a knife out. It was digging the gold teeth out of the guy's mouth while he was alive. And the dude was screaming in agony. and another American soldier went up and just shot the guy like Jesus Christ put him out of his fucking misery.
Starting point is 01:20:06 Crazy. You know what I mean? But everybody makes movies and everybody on one side is fucking evil and everybody else. Dude, you can't be involved in that shit. People go fucking nuts. You know, especially all it is, it's just, I would think that once,
Starting point is 01:20:24 like look how mad I got at that fucking old lady who gave me the flare chop. Now imagine if I was man enough to join the armed services, right? Armed forces, whatever the fuck you call them. And I'm out there on patrol and I see one of my friends get killed. Like, what kind of fucking mood are you going to be in after that? You know?
Starting point is 01:20:45 It's fucking insane. And I swear to God, the more I watch the Discovery Channel and the more I watch chimpanzees behavior, I swear to God, just watch those fuckers. Watch what the fuck they do to each other. I watch what they do to other monkeys and shit. I'm telling you. Telling you, that's what we are.
Starting point is 01:21:05 Whenever I watch shit on TV, I've been sending this for years. I just always think of this fucking documentary that I watch these chimpanzees, and like 10 of them ganged up on this other chimp. They fucking fucked this thing up, did horrible things, agonizing things of this monkey, killed it. Then afterwards, they were all fucking amped up, and it was like they were all talking shit about what they did in the fight. So whatever I watch shit on TV, and I see, like, you know, Trump talking this shit or that fat fuck over there in Korea
Starting point is 01:21:32 running his fucking, I swear to God, he looks like a giant piece of fucking, you ever eat Toro sushi? It's like from the softest part of the tuna. Like melts in your mouth. Like, God help that guy, if he's ever in a plane crash that lands in a snowy mountain
Starting point is 01:21:51 and they got to start eating people, because that guy is going to be a prime cut. It's all fucking marbled. You know, he's the boss. He lost his son. He's never done shit. You know? Isn't it funny that he walks around that army outfit and he's like fat? You know?
Starting point is 01:22:12 It's like when you go to the, you know, those fat people that always wear workout clothes, that old joke. Anyways, here we go. Let's read another one here. Africa. A. Billy Freckle fuck. Longtime fan. Love your work. Blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 01:22:25 Listen, I know you're planning on touring Eastern Europe next year. We got another one. But how about a tour of. South Africa at some point. If you and the lovely knee ever managed to make your way to this side of the world, please don't hesitate to contact.
Starting point is 01:22:41 Also, always know, always wanted to know if you are friends with Brian Cranston or not due to your time together on Breaking Bad. Thanks so much and go fuck yourself. P.S. when are you going to be on Conan again? A lot of questions.
Starting point is 01:22:54 All right, let's start with Africa. I would love to go over there. And I can tell you this right now. There's no way I would go on one of those fucking safaris. in that open car as those lions walk up looking at you. I know they say that like those lions like they look at the car and the person all is like one giant thing. So that's why they don't jump up and just yank somebody off the truck.
Starting point is 01:23:22 Well, one of these days, one of those lions is going to figure it out and they're going to yank somebody off the truck and it ain't going to be fucking me. I can tell you that right now. Do you ever see that fucking video that poor woman, this Asian family? She didn't want to, she was driving through the safari. She didn't want to drive and she got out and walked around the car. And I'm telling you, man, this tiger comes in the frame and grabs her and yanks. Like, I couldn't yank like a dishrag out of frame faster than this thing took this 115 pound woman out of the frame.
Starting point is 01:24:01 And then, like, her son or something, didn't know what to do. And this fucking hero ran over there. And then he ended up getting killed. And his mom got, like, mauled or something. It was fucking brutal. Fucking brutal. So I know you're probably laughing going, Bill. You know, we have cities over here.
Starting point is 01:24:18 It's not just a bunch of lions and tigers fucking walking around. I know, but I'm just saying. The touristy thing to go over there. Basically, your zoo is the jungle. Unless I'm crazy. I don't know. Anyways. What was the other thing?
Starting point is 01:24:34 I always want to know if you are friends with Brian Craig. I'm friendly with him. The few times I've run into him. Have I run into him since Breaking Bad? I don't think I have. During Breaking Bad, I ran into him at a party with a mutual friend. Yeah. And I don't remember ever, I don't ever remember us coming to blows.
Starting point is 01:24:58 So I would say that we are very friendly. But we don't hang, if that's what your question is. When am I going to be on Conan again? I don't know, hopefully soon. I fucking love Conan. I love South Africa and I love Brian Cranston. I mean, you went three for three here. All right, the crazies.
Starting point is 01:25:19 The crazies. Hey, Bill, the crazy little thing about you getting called a Republican douche is that I see just as many people on Reddit and Twitter accusing you of being a liberal softie. Yes, and all of that is just more evidence of what a cunt I am. All right? When I'm in L.A., I make fun of Hillary.
Starting point is 01:25:42 When I'm in a red state, I make fun of Trump. You know? I don't understand being in front of a group of people and just saying what they already think. Like, where is the fun in that? Say the opposite of what they think and make them mad and see if he can get them to stay. Right?
Starting point is 01:26:01 Anyways, it seems like people just attack and focus on only one thing, they care about. As you always say, as you always say, love you, congrats on Royal Ebel Hall. It's my dream
Starting point is 01:26:12 to play trumpet there. Thanks and go fuck yourself. Well, I hope that dream comes true. Yeah. Yeah, I've been accused of, it all depends on what the argument is. Yeah, I think, yeah, I've been called,
Starting point is 01:26:29 yeah, a red-pilled-eating Republican. I've been called a liberal liberal-tard snowflake cuck-hold all of that shit and i've been called a centrist i love this centrist one like isn't that the smart one well you're kind of in the middle you lean a little bit i lean left i think i do anyways it all depends on who the fuck i'm talking to depends on how far left you are um or how far right you are you probably think i lean way left i don't know but uh centrist is I don't know. I can be swayed. You know, you present a good fucking argument, you know.
Starting point is 01:27:17 Take a guy like Ted Nugent. I don't agree with a lot of this shit that that guy says, but he does say shit on occasion. I'm like, that I agree with. I just don't write people off 100%, you know? And I also don't think that I have all the fucking answers. So if that makes me, I don't know what the fuck that makes me. He's a centrist.
Starting point is 01:27:42 Do you realize how fucking do you? juicy that is, that adults literally have to, like, come up and label everything. What that really means is you don't think the way I think, and I can't fucking handle it. So I'm going to come up with a word that is going to have some sort of negative connotation. And I think you're so weak as a person that it will affect—I don't know what—I really don't give a shit. You're a centrist. Am I? Okay. All right. You're a liberal snowflake. Okay. All right. You're a Trump. supporter. Okay, fine, fine, there you go. Now go yell about that to somebody at work.
Starting point is 01:28:25 Anyways, documentary about origin of soccer. Oh, by the way, I learned more about that World Cup Trophy. Somebody sent me this thing on Twitter. Okay, so there's one World Cup trophy and you're not allowed to have it because it's worth like 20 million bucks. So if you win it, they actually give you a replica of it. This is what this person was trying to tell me. I don't know if any of this is true. Then somebody else told me that if you win like three of them, you actually get to keep the fucking thing and Brazil has one and then they had to make another one. Now, rather than just telling you guys shit that I've heard, I could actually look up World Cup trophy, which I can't believe how small it is. It's ridiculous. World Cup trophy history. Here we go. All right. And
Starting point is 01:29:17 I'm going to click on, let me do what everybody does when you search something on the fucking internet is you just take the first, what the fuck is this thing? Where the hell did this just take me? Have you noticed now like it just gives you one option? You know they're paying. People are paying for that. Look at this. It keeps taking me the same fucking site.
Starting point is 01:29:41 Roll Cup trophy history. Search Google. Come on. Keeps taking me. this fucking website, and I'm not going to name the name of it. Look at that. It just fucking kicked me off, you fucking cunts. How much did they pay?
Starting point is 01:30:04 I can only go to you. World Cup trophy. And a triple. Trophy. History. Search Google. There we go. All right.
Starting point is 01:30:22 That was a fucking glitch or something. The World Cup is a gold trophy. Oh, it's actually made out of gold. Ours is fake shit. No wonder, ours is so big. I think the Stanley Cup is made out of fucking aluminum. Stainless Steel, maybe. It's a gold trophy that is awarded to the winners of the FIFA World Cup associated.
Starting point is 01:30:41 Since the advent of the World Cup in 1930, two trophies have been used. The Jules Rimit Trophy from 1930 to 1970 and the FIFO World Cup trophy from 1974 to present day. The first trophy, originally named Victory, but later renamed in honor of Fifea President Jules Rimet, or is that Yule's Riemat? I have no idea. Was made of gold-plated sterling silver and lapis lazuli. Whatever the fuck that is, as depicted and depicted Nike,
Starting point is 01:31:22 the Greek goddess of victory. Oh, is that what the sneaker company has? I didn't know that. Wait, let's do a quick little aside here. In ancient Greek mythology, Nike was a goddess who personified victory. Her Roman equivalent was Victoria. She was variously described as the daughter of the Titan upon the gods.
Starting point is 01:31:49 I had no idea. I had no fucking idea. Look at that, learning something. Even Bill can learn something. Anyways, Brazil won the trophy outright in 1917. prompting the commissioning of the replacement. Well, how did they win it outright? They just won it so many times.
Starting point is 01:32:08 Like, ah, just give to these fuckers. I'm sick of carting it across the world. The original Jewel's Rima Trophy was stolen in 1983 and never recovered. What? There's only one per. That's a drug lord. Fucking Pablo Escobar had that or something. The subsequent trophy called the Fifea World Cup trophy was introduced to
Starting point is 01:32:32 1974 made of 18-carat gold with the something base to stand. Okay, now wait a second, wait a second. World Cup trophy stolen. Maybe he wasn't so fucking small. They couldn't have stuck it under their shirt. The theft of the Jules Rimiff trophy. It was stolen in 1966. Prior to the 1966 World Cup, the trophy was later recovered.
Starting point is 01:33:03 I thought they said they didn't get it. One man, Steve Pook of Bristol was convicted for being. involved but other possible culprits are still in the know you can't tell me that guy's not a fucking legend trophy placed in how come that hasn't been made into a movie some sort of fucking comedy was he some jerk off from a sports bar the football associated received the theft on the march 20th Sunday March 20 when the guards began a noon circuit around 1220 they noticed that someone had forced open the display case and the rear doors of the building and stolen the trophy the wooden bar the
Starting point is 01:33:40 that held the trophy, that held the door closed was lying on the floor. That's all they had to stop them? Thieves removed the screws and the bolts
Starting point is 01:33:50 that held the other side of the door. They went to Home Depot and bought some screwdriver and stole the biggest sports trophy in the fucking world. What a simple time.
Starting point is 01:34:00 They had removed the padlock from the back of the display case, taken the trophy, and left the way they came. None of the guards had seen or heard anything suspicious.
Starting point is 01:34:09 though one of them reported that he had seen a strange man by the public telephone when he had visited the lavatory on the first floor. Jesus, those guys were fucking off, huh? Scotland Yard took control of the case and gave it to the Flying Squad. The Flying Squad? What the fuck is that? Sounds like a musical. The Flying Squad, also known as the Robbery Squad, is a branch of this serious and organized crime. command. Did an eight-year-old name all this shit with London's Metropolitan Police?
Starting point is 01:34:49 Raw, is this serious? It's not the frivolous crime command. This is this serious and organized crime. Squad's purpose is to investigate commercial armed and unarmed robberies along with the prevention, investigate, and it gives a fuck. Sounds like they have uniforms. Oh, then somebody, oh, that's somebody actually they ransomed to the fucking thing. On March 24th, 21st, Joe Mears, the chairman of the football association, received an anonymous phone call. The unknown man said that Mears would receive a parcel at Chelsea Football Club the next day. The parcel was delivered to Mears home. It contained the removable lining from the top of the trophy and a ransom note that demanded 15,000 pounds in one in five pound notes.
Starting point is 01:35:42 The letter stated that the FAA should place a coded ad, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Despite the warnings that Mears contacted the police, Detective Charles Buggy of the Flying Squad and gave the trophy lining in the letter to him. Police told Mears to place an ad and contacted a bank, created a false ransom payment out of bundles of ordinary paper with real money
Starting point is 01:36:12 only at the top and the bottom, which were replaced in a suitcase. Two police officers were to act as Mears' assistance in handing over the money. And went home to, blah, blah, blah, okay. So, Mears was suffering from an asthma attack, so his wife answered instead and gave the phone to assistant McPhee. Oh, McPhee. Jackson was nervous, but finally agreed to arrange a switch and told McPhee to come to,
Starting point is 01:36:39 ah, you fucking moron. And then he got caught. Man, isn't that something? You see that? You learn something every goddamn day, don't you? What a fucking dope. He should have just kept. the goddamn thing. Then you can't. What are you going to show your friends? They're going to
Starting point is 01:36:57 fucking open their mouths trying to get laid. All right. Anyways, documentary about the origin of soccer. Hey, Bill, you're talking about the origin of soccer last podcast and I wanted to give you a recommendation to watch Wild in the Streets. It's the origin of all football, including rugby soccer and your football. It is literally a type of rugby played by an entire town, North versus South. The entire city is the field they play on. Well worth their watch, especially for sports fan. I found it on Amazon slash Fire TV.
Starting point is 01:37:29 Have a good day. All right, I'll try to check that out. Lastly, but not leastly, classic movies. Dear Billy Dollars. After he talked about Lamont's last month, I decided to watch the movie. I really loved it. I never knew I needed to drive through Europe until I saw that movie. I'm 22, and the first thing I noticed was how differently it was Pays,
Starting point is 01:37:49 compared to the schizophrenic stuff I grew up with. It was very calming in a way. I was wondering if you could recommend any good movies from that era. I'm going to keep watching McQueen movies, but I was hoping you could give more titles from the era so I don't burn out all of his at once. You can't go wrong with Steve McQueen. You can't go wrong with Paul Newman.
Starting point is 01:38:12 Obviously, Paul Newman, I would watch The Hustler. I liked HUD What else? Cool Hand Luke Steve McQueen and Ewell Brenner You gotta go Magnificent 7
Starting point is 01:38:31 Cincinnati Kid Bullet And for those of you Before you go see the rock movie Go watch the Towering Inferno If you watch the Towering Inferno And then you watch Die Hard I think you'll see
Starting point is 01:38:50 Those two are combined When they sold that movie The new rock movie movie. I feel like it's those two movies combined. Wow, I haven't thought about movies in a minute. What else did I like from back then? I liked all the Clinties with Spaghetti Westerns. Love Charles Bronson. Anything with Lee Marvin in it?
Starting point is 01:39:13 The Dirty Dozen, Bridge on the River Kwai, Kelly's Heroes, The Great Escape, Speaking of which, do you know, when I did Steve Burns' movie, the character that I'm playing at one point is putting golf balls in his office and somebody connected with the movie was friends with the James Garner estate
Starting point is 01:39:47 speaking of the Great Escape and the putter I used was James Garner's old putter and it was fucking unbelievable because I always watch me TV and the Rockford Files is one of my favorite shows of all time and I love it even more
Starting point is 01:40:03 than I did when I was as a kid because I never understood, like, I think losers too harsh a word, but like how much this guy was struggling in life. He lived in a trailer on the beach. He had the firebird. He didn't have the money for the Trans Am. And he couldn't sustain a relationship. I mean, the guy was a mess. He didn't like to fight. I mean, he was just fucking funny as hell. That's another one that I love. But I am, right now, I'm just burning through that 77 sunset strip with Ephraim Zimbelis Jr. I just can't get enough for that show. And it's just, it's that classic shit where any time a woman comes on screen,
Starting point is 01:40:51 they play that fucking saxophone music, man. It's just fucking hilarious. Ephraim's smoking in like every other scene. And in his drink is, he likes an old-fashioned rye. And like back then when they were building a character, They had to have their drink and they had to have a car. And Ephraimbalist's character in 77 Sunset Strip is, he favors a Ford Thunderbird convertible. And I've only seen season six.
Starting point is 01:41:25 So I think that was a 1963 or a 64 Thunderbird convertible. But I went online and I watched the intro to all the different seasons. And he seems to have late 50s. ones because it ran from like 57 to 63 it was like six seasons or something like that so it'd be cool if i'm watching it and he gets a new thunderbird every year convertible um and once again the restaurant uh this office that he's coming out of is dean martin's denos that old restaurant that he had and um which was on las yanoga it was on sunset boulevard at the corner of la siena on the southwest side of the street.
Starting point is 01:42:08 Pretty fucking badass. Anyways, I'm an old man, and I got two shows to do here. Thank you to everybody that came out to Portland last night. I had such great shows, and thank you to everybody who's coming out to my shows tonight in Seattle.
Starting point is 01:42:23 This is one of my favorite cities, and I think the next time I come here, I'm going to try to do, like, what I did in San Francisco. I'm going to play a smaller venue and just be here for a week. I'm going to bring my wife and kid up here because the lovely Nia always wanted to go to Seattle, and I've never brought her up here.
Starting point is 01:42:41 And I don't know. It's a shame because it's so fucking close. And it just never seems to work out with their schedule. So I think next time I might do one of my favorite theaters in the country, which is the Moore Theater, which for you rock fans, that's where Allison Shane shot that black and white concert film. That's where Pearl Jam shot that video, you know, where Eddie Better climbed up the side and dropped down into the ground.
Starting point is 01:43:04 right remember that song um all right that's it um all right that's it go fuck yourselves congratulations to france winning the world cup congratulations to croatia england belgium all you guys that got down to the final four it's fucking incredible it was an incredible thing to watch and i hope to go the next time there's a world cup i'll check in on you on thursday see you

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.