Monday Morning Podcast - World Cup Takes, Creation, End Times | Monday Morning Podcast 7-16-26
Episode Date: July 16, 2026Bill rambles about World Cup takes, creation, and end times.(00:00) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast(34:48) - Thursday Afternoon Throwback 7-16-26 - Bill rambles about anger relapse, Eastern... Europe, and Stealing the World Cup.Thursday Afternoon Interlude: Mitch Murder - Ocean AvenuePolicy Genius: Head to http://www.PolicyGenius.com/BURR to compare life insurance quotes from top companies and see how much you could saveSimpliSafe: Right now, you can get 50% off your new system by visiting http://www.SimpliSafe.comHims: To get simple, online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit http://www.Hims.com/BURRSquarespace: Check out http://www.Squarespace.com/BURR for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use code BURR to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domainShipStation: Get started with ShipStation today and get sixty days free at http://www.ShipStation.com with the code BURRFast Growing Trees: Listeners get 20% off their order with code BURR at http://www.FastGrowingTrees.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Code Burr. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Thursday afternoon just before
Friday, Monday morning podcast, and I'm just checking it on you. Oh, how's it going, man? How's your week on? Well,
it's Thursday. You only got to see those people in your boss one more day tomorrow. That's it.
One more day tomorrow, and then you got your weekend. You got your weekend. You got the World Cup
final. Congratulations to Argentina.
England bitch moaning and complaining,
oh, Messi has the referee.
He tells him what to do.
Listen, I can't tell if Argentina is cheating
or if they're just like the Patriots back in the day.
They keep winning so everybody fucking hates them.
And they're like, oh, let's weigh the soccer balls.
It seemed to me on that final fucking assist
that he faked out the guy, created some space,
and put an absolutely perfect ball
past like four England defenders,
and next thing you know,
he was in the back of the net.
I don't know.
And I've had, I've been having such a good time watching the World Cup.
My condolences to the fans of the English fans,
but I did get a kick out of finding out
you guys had only one World Cup.
They've only won it once,
and they keep saying,
we've got to bring it home.
We got to bring, like,
it's rightfully belongs in England.
I don't know.
It's just that Caucasian fucking attitude
where we're going to go into your country,
take your artifacts,
and put them in our museum.
World Cup is,
if it belongs to anybody,
it belongs to Brazil, right?
They've won five.
Okay, you guys, you won once.
Like the New Orleans Saints.
You won once.
fucking 60 years ago.
I'm going to bring it home.
What the fuck are you talking?
I don't even get it.
It's very New York.
I will tell you that.
Which are New York City people.
It's 90% attitude, 10% accomplishment.
I mean, if you look at like New York sports,
first of all, they've got 9,000 fucking teams.
Once in a blue moon, they win something.
But they talk shit every fucking year.
and ESP and everybody runs with it.
I mean, how many fucking times
is some fucking guy
going to have back-to-back good games
and they're like,
oh, they're calling him Freddie Franchise.
Old Bodega Barbie,
Mikey Cutlets.
Oh, man, genius.
And none of them do shit.
None of them do shit.
None of them win anything.
Oh, look at this little fucking guy.
Point guard for the fucking the Knicks.
Holy fucking shit.
Nothing.
Nothing.
What was it?
Tyrone Lou?
Remember that guy?
Like, you can get famous on back-to-back good games in fucking New York City.
You're going to get a nickname.
You're going to get a big contract.
People are going to be dressing up.
You're going to get on all the talk shows and all of this shit.
You won two fucking games.
Back-to-back Sundays.
then you can be Ituro Suzuki way out there in fucking Seattle doing everything but fucking making it's the sunshine for those people out there and you know, how much do people bring him up?
Anyway, Jesus, fucking, I've run out of fucking, I can't even remember the amount of coaches and players, specifically in football that have gotten with the Jets that have gotten fucking nicknames over the years and the coverage that they're, the coverage that they're,
they've gotten. I mean, God bless Rex Ryan. That guy got more fucking media coverage in his three
years or four years with the fucking jets than I think Chuck Knoll got his entire career.
Oh, he's in defeat and he's not going up there to kiss the rings. I'll tell you that, Rex
Ryan lost. So anyway, haven't said that. Congratulations to the New York Knicks. Jesus Christ,
You talked a century worth of shit
And you finally fucking won once
So God bless you
Anyway, you still, I think have less than the Miami heat
But that, don't let that stop you
Um
Anyway, so yeah, watching all those English people fucking
Just a, you know, I don't understand.
I don't understand bringing it home.
Your slogan should be, do you think we'll ever win it again?
Are we won and done?
think about it. The last time
these are going to be
rough numbers here. The last time England won it,
Mick Jagger was
24 years old
and had a brand new baby at home.
Now he's
84
with the brand new baby at home.
They're still waiting.
Pleased to meet you.
Let me dump my
load.
Anyway, oh, Billy, gym rat.
Oh, Billy, not fat.
I just did my leg workout.
That's when you know you're back at the gym.
When you show up on leg day.
Okay?
Anybody can show up on Vanity Day.
Oh, I'm doing my fucking chest, my buys and tries.
My fucking neck muscles over here, right?
Leg day.
Leg day.
What am I, a fucking soccer mom over here?
I'm gonna work out like some fucking broadwerex.
with three fucking kids.
One of my favorite things I ever heard
about why you do leg day,
you can't shoot a cannon out of a canoe.
And if that didn't describe 90% of the men
when I was growing up,
everybody had the V,
everybody was fucking yoked up top
and down the bottom, like you just saw like,
oh wow, this guy was like a fucking little skinny nothing.
The legs look like
The legs look like
Seventh-grade arms
Like their thighs
It was fucking unbelievable
They would like break their upper bodies
Up into two days
I can't even remember how we used to do it
It was just all nose crunchers
Fucking
Curling
Preacher curls
It was like 20 different curls you did
20 different thing
You know
Inclined
Declined
No recline bench
It was just
no back.
People did the lat pole down.
Dude,
fucking Eddie can do the whole fucking stack.
And you knew he did the whole stack
because he had to drop it on the last one.
Dush!
And the whole fucking gym would shake.
But then every once in a while
there was that one guy that was just full,
like, roided out
like he was going for the Mr. Universe.
Like, I still remember going to a Patriots
preseason game.
And this guy was walking around.
with no shirt on and like those coaches shorts,
you know, those bike ones.
And dude, he looked like the thing,
except with smooth regular skin.
And everyone wanted to make fun of him.
But like the guy literally could have picked up
a whole row of people and thrown him down on the field.
And that's back.
That was back with the original steroids,
the ones that made you angry.
You know, the fucking horse tranquilizers,
whatever the fuck, they're not tranquilizers,
whatever the fuck they were taken.
you'd be walking around the gym being like,
why don't fuck am I, everybody so much bigger than me?
You're like, you had no fucking idea.
And then one day you kind of parked behind the gym
because there was no spots
and then you would just see all these fucking needles being,
oh, there you go.
That and cocaine took your, if you didn't do steroids
and he didn't do cocaine, you were confused for a few weeks.
Like all of a sudden, like, you know, with Coke,
all of a sudden your friends could just keep drinking.
And you're sitting there going,
God damn, man. It's fucking almost two in the morning.
It was just like, it was just like fucking 8 p.m.
They were still like 8 p.m.
Fucking talking.
Fucking grinding it.
And I finally figured it out.
I finally figured it out when each one of them went to the bathroom 17 times
between like 8.30 and fucking one in the morning.
I'm like, oh, these guys are doing blow.
That's what it is. Jesus Christ.
But, you know, it was a good thing, though.
It's like playing hoop with some of you that's better than you would elevate your game.
So if you're drinking, okay, you're clean, drinking clean.
And the other person you're drinking with is doing fucking blow.
Like your tolerance, you know, just trying to keep up is going to increase.
I mean, if that's what you want to improve upon, you know, I don't know.
I don't know what you deal is.
I don't pretend to know what your goals are.
Anyways, Harry the hat.
Oh, he's going to be on the center this fucking weekend.
And I'll tell you, Jets fans are excited.
He threw for 300 yards one week.
He's already got a nickname and a sandwich named after him.
Anyway, plowing ahead.
So what do we got?
We got Argentina and we got Spain, Spain.
Spagna.
And the final, who do you like?
Now, if I am to listen to all those soccer hooligans,
they're all saying that the Russians got the refs in their back pocket.
I mean, I will say that fucking hand of God was ridiculous,
and that did fuck England, you know.
But it's hard to feel bad for a country that colonizes.
including my country too.
My country, tis of thee.
Give us your oils and other natural resources.
Or we'll bomb you.
And say you're terrorists.
And say that we're the best.
But it's only the upper one percent.
Everybody else is cool.
That's how the world.
works. Ninety-nine percent of people are cool, but we're under the one percent, and they're a bunch
of greedy cunts. Oh, really, Bill? Did you break it down? You freckled douche? I'm reading this book
right now. I mentioned before. Bill Bryson, a short history of nearly everything. And it's made me
want to buy a telescope. What, to watch your neighbor? Well, maybe. But other than that,
I want to catch these meteor showers. You know, it's all like that Neil deGrasse Tyson stuff.
Like, if you put the universe on a clock, a 24-hour clock, humanity did not arrive until 11.51 p.m.
The entire existence of human beings could be put into that nine minutes.
I hate when people have information like that.
Because when they tell it to you, they act like they're somehow, like, you know, more in tune with the universe.
Like, they're like they can control the weather at that point.
And it's just like, no, dude, you just.
somebody else figured this out
and then you read it
and now you know
now you're just looking around
for some fucking summer school
looking kid with a stupid look on his face
like me and now you're going to say it to me
and then I'm going to be like
what? Dude dude that guy's like wicked smart
it is fascinating though
it breaks down like
those vents underneath the sea
that maybe we came out of that
the continents floating away from each other
how volatile this is, how quickly it can all end,
how many different forms of life have been here,
and then just when it's extinct,
it's just, you read this book and it's like,
it makes religion hilarious.
Not saying there's not a God,
not saying there's somebody who didn't fucking slap this together in six days.
I'm not saying that.
You know?
And then on something,
Sunday fucking he laid on the biggest L-shaped couch in the universe just watching Sports
Center.
I'm not saying that didn't happen.
What I am saying is there was a whole bunch of creation before we came along.
So to think, I think we're just smart enough to contemplate death.
So we needed an answer.
And then we're self-involved.
So we made ourselves way more important than crustaceans and fucking.
I mean, look at alligators.
Alligators, they just keep going.
You can't say that about people.
If you're a person, you have too many steak and eggs
and you do a couple of lines on the weekend,
you might not make it to Monday.
But alligators, crocodiles, they've been around for turtles.
Is that of these fucking insects?
You can tell us this fresh knowledge in my head.
you see how quickly I had three examples
and the last one was like
some of these insects there
some of them little creepy crawlies
you know if this is too deep for you guys
I can slow it down
anyway
no it's really fun
so oh Billy's in a fucking really good place man
mentally
I did another one of those breathwork massages
cried out some more shit
fucking grunt
the anger, anger on the right side, sadness on the left side, just getting it out of me.
And I got to tell you, man, I am a fucking peach to be around.
Okay, it's all relative compared to the other guy that I used to be.
So anyway, I flew yesterday.
A fucking helicopter, man.
It's just, it's not one thing, it's another.
You know?
I had a fucking alternator belt snapped on me.
With the design, it was in the middle of the engine.
They had to pull the whole fucking engine out.
So that cost me a fortune.
And then somebody, somewhere in the world,
there, some part of the main road or the mast or so,
I don't know where it was, got corroded,
probably because of the environment therein.
I am in the driest environment ever,
but aviation is super safe.
So if one person, just one fucking person has corrosion there,
they have to check every single one of them.
So some air directive, whatever the fuck they call it.
So I had to bring that in.
Take that whole fucking thing apart.
And of course, they found nothing.
And now I'm back.
And the other day I was doing auto rotations in the trim thing.
All of a sudden, the trim thing.
Is that too deep for you guys?
The little button on the cyclic.
All of a sudden it was just like,
I felt like I was flying an R-22, like it didn't work anymore.
So I bring it over to my guy.
Of course, I set it down, and of course it works.
And he's laughing.
He goes, this happens all the time.
And then he fucked with it a little bit more.
Thought it was a wire.
And it turns out it's the motor.
So I can still fly the thing.
But it's like losing your power steering, essentially.
But I did have a fucking beautiful flight yesterday.
And it was funny, as I was coming in,
every time, there's always some new experience.
So with helicopters, they let you land a lot of times on taxiways.
Just because we fly slower, we have the ability to stop, blah, blah, blah.
And if there's a lot of people like in the pattern and that time,
and it's also just gets you out of their way.
So I'm coming in, you know, at one point, once they say at your own risk,
it's like that means the tower can't see you anymore.
So it's up to you and your judgment.
You really have to be looking and paying.
attention so I'm coming in and where I'm going to land there's a plane taxi and going the opposite way so I'm
like what the fuck you know and I'm like lower to the ground but I'm still like like 300 feet up so it's this
weird thing where I want to be able to keep my air speed so if I do have to because I don't have
enough altitude to nose it down to get my air speed back so I can't slow down too much but
fortunately the guy turns all right because I didn't want to overfly him I was just going to cheat over to
the right a little bit and then just land beyond him but i was not going to get myself this like this
i forget what they call it like the they the altitude versus your speed you don't want to be in the
dead man's curve never fucking do that so you know i don't care if i pissed somebody off over flying them
i am not going to just yeah i don't feel like dying right so he gets out of the way so now i come in
and you know i'm looking at my spot where i'm going to set it down and then bring it over to the transient
area and all of a sudden like this fucking Air Force guy
he pulls out his jet like he's leaving Rouse
and it's like all right this is a new one and he's like
taxiing and you know the back of his plane looks like the fucking Batmobile
there's no flames but it's still the same thing and I'm a little I'm a little
fucking aircraft so that by then you know I was going to hover taxi
which is like 30 feet off the ground and all of a sudden he's going to be in front of me
with that and I don't know what
this guy gonna knock me over
what's gonna happen so I just sort of brought it down
and like set it down
and I let him go
it didn't move me at all but it's like I wasn't gonna find
out the hard way
so then he gets out of the way
and then I bring it over and I set it down
and then you know my mechanic came out
and he's like all right I just gotta order
he goes you can still fly it I just gotta get the motor
so our new motor so there you go
so there's that
I got that going
on um it's hot as balls out here but it's fucking uh july and that's another thing too you know
there's a lot of people that who deny global warming as being um because of all this carbon
that we're putting into the air and fucking up the balance the amount of pieces of carbon um
and what they they referenced the history of the earth and these hot and cooling times but like
the amount of time that those periods took and the difference is those those
were natural.
I guess you could make the argument
that what's happening now is also natural
because human beings are part of nature
but we're creating it.
But no one is ever like, you know,
it's not like fucking dinosaurs
we're going around driving buses.
So I don't know.
But it also like, it made all the craziness
of what's going on right now
a little less daunting
to just understand that like,
oh, well, we might be the first animals here
to create our own extinction.
We don't need to wait for a meteor
or a giant volcano or fucking whatever's going to happen.
We're just going to kind of do it to ourselves.
And, yeah.
And there'll be a few species that survive.
And whatever survives,
then the planet has forever to heal itself.
might be 100 million years before like because i saw this thing one time if people all fucking died
what would happen and the big thing was the nuclear reactors if there was no one monitoring it
and keeping those whatever those things the reactors or whatever cool like those things would
all melt down poison the seas and all of that and i imagine everything but like cockroaches
probably cockroaches alligators and maybe turtles i don't know would be able to survive it
and just start over again.
I don't know.
It's pretty goddamn fascinating.
But I got like on my nightstand,
I have like 10 books and it's getting to be like clutter.
So I've really been off my phone lately.
And I've just been reading all of this shit
to get rid of them and then give them away.
So I'm going to finish this book.
And then I got this Enzo Ferrari book
that I think that Michael Mann movie was based on.
that I really enjoyed.
The fact that Penelope Cruz
did not get nominated
for a fucking Oscar in that movie
is one of the...
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
She was so fucking amazing in that.
Anyway, so let's get to the reads here this week.
I'm not going to lie to you guys.
I got a bunch of them.
So I already told these people,
if I got to read this many fucking advertisements,
I'm going to have to keep them funny
or else you guys aren't going to listen.
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All right. We did it. We got true it. We got true all of it. All right. I believe this Sunday,
the World Cup final. That's another thing of fucking New York. They say the World Cup final
is in New York. It's not. It's in New Jersey. Your fucking stadium is in the state of New Jersey.
That's where the game is. Congratulations to the Garden State, New Jersey,
for hosting the World Cup final.
Why does New York get credit?
They're always taking credit.
Once again, 90% attitude, 10% fucking accomplishment.
Fucking New Jersey, just sitting there, like the middle kid.
Between Philly and New York City.
Just waiting to get some fucking recognition.
All right.
How about those Red Sox, man?
They won nine in a row last I saw.
I don't know if the streak ended, but it's baseball time.
All right.
It's also time for me to stop running my yap if you can believe it.
I'm probably going to shut up.
All right.
Listen to the music picked out by the amazingly talented Andrew Thumbulles.
And then we have a bonus episode of an old school Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast.
That's it.
Have a nice weekend.
You can't.
Hey, what's going on?
It's Bill Byrne.
It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, July 16th, 2018.
What's going on?
How are you doing?
It's Sunday afternoon when I'm recording this.
I'm still in Seattle, Washington.
I've yet to do my shows up here.
I'm imagining that they're going to go pretty well.
I was in Portland, Oregon last night.
Jesus Christ, great shows.
Amazing people coming out.
You know, even though I teased them a little bit.
You know, I was making fun of some of the people in Portland.
Do you know what I, like, what really amazes me about this generation
or actually maybe like the past 10 years it's just the amount of shit that guys do in their 20s and that like if I did it back in my 20s I would get this shit kicked out of me it's really unbelievable is it bill how about an example I'll give me an example I was coming over from Portland airport by the way the first time I've ever landed here or ever landed in Portland I should say where it was actually just sunny
and beautiful.
Like, I believe my first aborted landing
I ever had
was in Portland, Oregon.
It was fucking raining.
And the guy was coming in.
There was all this wind shear,
and then he just fucking went up and around again.
And we were all like, dude, what the fuck?
I remember this old guy was just like,
you know, take as many chances as you need,
many times as you need or whatever.
It's like, just get this fucking thing on the ground.
Everybody kind of left.
So this was the first time.
That was way back when I was,
I was working fucking happy.
It's a comedy club down the street,
which is a really interesting gig
because the guy who ran it back in the day,
you know, he would paper the entire room,
which means he would give the show away.
So you go in on a Tuesday,
and the place would be packed with people who, you know,
won a comedy show.
You know what I mean?
So it was weird.
It was like doing this giant office party.
And you do one Tuesday, one Wednesday,
one Thursday, two Friday, three Saturday,
and then one on Sunday.
But the cool thing is I got to hang in Portland all week,
check out all these cool places to eat.
Now, I kind of dip in and dip out.
But that's an old story.
So anyways, we're getting back to what the fuck I saw.
I'm driving from the airport, from Oregon,
from Oregon, from Portland airport over to my fucking hotel.
I swear to God, I saw two guys in their 20s on a bicycle built for two.
and then behind the guy, those two guys was another guy.
Do you remember those cars when you were a kid?
If you had like a toy car, you got in it right.
It was made all out of metal.
And then you peddled it.
Yeah, this guy had an adult version of that car riding behind the two guys on a bicycle
built for two.
Now, this might seem harsh and I might seem old school.
But shouldn't they be getting this shit kicked out of them?
I know in a perfect world
they should be able to do
whatever makes them happy
but there's just something about
that behavior
where you're so begging for attention
you know what I mean
you just can't get on a bicycle
it's got to be a bicycle built for two
it's got to be a little toy car
and you're a fucking adult in it
with your goddamn hipster beard
like I don't know
I'm really disappointed
with the bullies in the millennial generation
you know you're letting a lot
lot of stuff slide.
Is he advocating bully?
Something.
A fucking spitball?
Anything?
I mean, I just, I was in the middle of the pack when I was in school.
I got bullied and I bullied some kids.
You know, I was right in the fucking middle.
You know, I was background.
I wasn't cool.
I wasn't a nerd.
I was just one of those people that filled out your class picture.
That's all the fuck I was, you know?
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And I just felt like this pressure, like that somebody is not doing the job needs to get done.
I felt like sticking my head out the window like fucking ogre in that goddamn movie and just be like,
nerds!
Just something.
I mean, how as an adult are you supposed to sit there talking to another adult with a waxed mustache and never fucking bring it up?
You know, I don't know.
I don't know.
It's really is like, it's like how bored are you as a fucking person?
person that you have to like become like a character like you go back and you watch a beer commercial
from the late 70s or early 80s and then you just decide that you're going to dress like that guy
but you're still going to be your douchy self but you're going to have you know his mustache
and hairdo and t-shirt it's really fucking weird I don't know I don't know just the shit that bothers
me. I'm having sort of a
anger relapse. I was
doing so well.
And the other day I snapped in the car when this
fucking person just, you know,
took them like nine tries to
parallel park.
And it actually felt weird
to yell in the car because I hadn't in a good
three weeks. So I tried to get
it in check, but I think I let the fucking
genie out of the bottle. So I need to
sit down and work
on myself again because today when
we were flying from Portland up to Seattle
you know, we were bored in the plane
and
I was in the first group, you know,
after people in the military, people with disabilities,
people with kids,
people with dogs that make them feel like it's okay to fly,
people with acne problems.
Like, I don't know how many fucking groups there are now
before group one boards.
Group one is really like group 26 at this point, right?
You know?
it's blue shirt Fridays anybody with a blue shirt can now board
anyway so we walk out into the tarmac to board right and I see
this woman in front of me has stopped
you know it's like one of these deals where you walk outside to get on the plane
there's this little zigzag sort of ramp you have to walk up and she stopped
while this flight attendant is helping this other woman up there
so I'm thinking at my head well you know she didn't tell me to stop so I'm going to walk around
this lady. I was kind of being a douche and I went to walk around her and she fucking stuck her hand out
like that. She told me to wait and she kind of like hit me with her hand. She did like the mother thing.
And she was like old, like white hair and shit. And like the shit that went through my fucking
head. Not initially when she hit me. I was just surprised. Like what the fuck? She just hit me.
Oh my God. And the level that I judged her.
I was like, is that how you got up into first class?
You fucking competitive cunt?
You know?
Meanwhile, I was going to walk around her.
And I knew I was supposed to wait.
And I was being a douche.
I just kept playing it over my head that I just wish I walked right through her little
fucking stiff arm that she gave me.
And I ended up sitting behind her on the plane.
And in my brain's telling me to hit the back of her chair to rattle her head a little bit.
But, you know, the rest of my brain is going, dude, it's an old woman.
Why are you letting her get to you like this?
And then when we landed,
I was thinking like, she's not married.
There's no fucking way any guys putting up with her.
And I looked and she had a wedding ring.
And I was just like, what the fuck is wrong with me?
So we're getting off the plane.
Now we walked down one of those ramps.
And I was actually laughing at myself
because I knew I was going to have to pass her
and get into the airport before her.
You know, just to somehow make up for that fucking moment, right?
How fucking stupid is that?
And then I do it.
I turn around and.
glance and look at her. She doesn't even know that I exist. And I wasted all of that energy.
You know, it probably took, probably, I don't know, 40 seconds off my life with that level of just,
you know, it was like legit hate. Like I hated this person. I mean, I don't like,
since she, she fucking touched me, you know. What am I, what are you supposed to do? You don't want
to me supposed to say, hey, day. Yell at some old lady. Get your fucking hands.
off me lady
do it again you'll never bake
another batch of cookies i mean what exactly
am i supposed to be doing there
i just you know
i created that whole
situation and i really
if i'm honest looking back i knew that she was
flying first class so she was probably
on some level of lunatic
and i in a control freak
and i kind of knew that if i went around her
it was going to bug her i just did not
anticipate her giving me the
flare chop when I tried to go past her.
So I kind of got what I deserved.
Oh, man.
I can't believe how upset I let that get me.
And I created the whole fucking thing.
I really am a pathetic human being.
But, you know, it makes for a good story.
You know, it helps fill up a podcast sitting here in the hotel room, right?
Oh, by the way, so I'm in the airport, you know, before this lady gave me the flare
up and the World Cup final is like happening and I'm taping it at home and it is so not a big deal
in this airport that I can actually walk in public while the Super Bowl of the world is being
played and no one's there's no spoiler alert nothing no one had it on it wasn't on on any
TV I didn't see anybody watching the fucking game on their phone if I didn't go on Instagram I
I wouldn't even know who won.
It's fucking insane.
But anyways, I guess France won.
All right.
Congratulations.
What do they say?
Allé Les Blue, right?
Alet Le Blue.
Congratulations to France and congratulations to Croatia.
A country of what, 4.1 million people, according to Pete Davidson.
And his Instagram page, that they got that far was fucking incredible.
And I knew I was going to be happy with either person.
winning and I obviously love France and Croatia was the underdog so I was rooting for them but
I did not see the game I heard there was an own goal you know fortunately he didn't do that in
South America so I think he has a chance when he gets back to his hometown but they lost by
two goals anyways what the fuck are you going to do but I did not see it but I did in this
world club become a soccer fan and I've gone from not giving a fuck to wanting to Google where the next
World Cup is going to be so I can actually go.
And I'll go there with 40 other Americans if our team makes it and we'll cheer them on
until they lose in the first fucking round or whatever the fuck happens.
So anyways, I'm up here in Seattle.
Portland and Seattle, well, you know, two of my favorite cities.
What are your favorite cities?
Oh, glad you asked Portland, Seattle.
I'd say Seattle over Portland.
You know
They're both nice
Portland just has a little more
of a hipster douche factor
You know
It was sort of a tie
And then when I saw that guy
The two guys in the bicycle
Built for two with the kid
With the kitty car behind it
I just like I fucking can't
All right
You know
Then you come to Seattle
And you got the New World Order
Hippies
I mean there's a lot up here
To kind of be annoyed with
But beautiful cities
Lush land
All kinds of water
That's just amazing
up here. San Francisco, Los Angeles, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Chattanooga, Tennessee. These are my favorites.
Obviously, I'm from Boston. Cleveland, Detroit, Buffalo, Pittsburgh. I think that's it. The rest of the towns can all go fuck them. I'm so kidding. Tulsa, Oklahoma. What's my favorite one in Texas? I'm going there in two weeks. I'm going to
fucking Houston, Texas in July as a red-headed bald male.
The fuck was I thinking.
Houston, Dallas, San Antonio, Austin, College Station.
I don't know.
They're all kind of the same.
It's flat.
The most shiniest new pickup trucks you've ever seen in your life.
I've never seen so many shiny, brand-new pickup trucks in my four-door pickup trucks in my life.
They looked like they just got taken right off the showroom floor.
Can you hear my stomach growling, by the way?
I'm having a steak dinner tonight, so I just ate light like an hour and a half ago.
I had a soup and a salad.
Fucking old bastard.
By the way, I'm up to 70 pounds on the lat pull-down machine.
Huh?
You like that?
The fucking rotator cup is rehabbing.
And the person helped me out, told me I need to get up to about 120 pounds on that thing.
and I have to do it really slowly
so I don't fucking blow out my shoulder again.
If I get up 120, then I can attempt to do four pull-ups,
and I'm back in the game
because I have a bet with Verzi that when I'm 70,
I'll be able to do 10 of them.
And that's not going to be a fucking problem.
That's what I'm saying at 50.
We'll see.
It's a long 20 years, man, I'll tell you.
It all depends on how I do it, you know?
If I lived my life the way I did last month,
I won't be able to do two pull-ups.
I don't even know if I'll be around to do pull-ups.
If I live my life the way I'm living it this month, you know, I might do 15.
I'm crushing it this month.
It was 16 days in.
Old Freckles hasn't had a drop of booze.
It's that shutting it down.
I like shutting it down for a month.
Give yourself a good fucking month.
Then ease myself back into my binge drinking.
I can't tell you this, though.
I have never caught a fucking cold like this cold.
that I caught in Minneapolis and into whatever the fuck I went after that, Detroit.
Jesus Christ.
This thing has been lingering.
I caught it on like June 30th and I was sick for a week and now it's just been lingering like,
I don't know.
I don't know if I need to lay off dairy or something to get the last little bit out of it.
Last time I was on stage and I started like coughing.
My throat was getting all fucking dry.
I don't know
I'm sure you guys out there
None of whom are doctors
All have a fucking
Reason why you know
Maybe I'm just an old bastard
Speaking of that
Speaking of being an old bastard
I put the TV on
In this hotel
This hotel is really fucking annoying
You're like I wanted to order
Room service and I said
Where's the menu? Where's the menu?
I can't find the menu
So I call them up and they go
The menu's on the TV
So I'm like okay
All right well I'm not going to get upset
You know
I've been getting too upset lately
Let's just this is
the way the kids do it nowadays let's do that and i go on there right and you know god damn well
that the fucking thing is on the tv because they because they want you to sell they want you to order
through the fucking tv so they have that information what's his name who is he how old is he
what food does he eat we've gathered all of this fucking information what kind of porno does he
watch did he rent a movie all of this fucking information not to mention they're probably
watching you through that little fucking camera on the tv too and then they just
bundle it all together and they sell it.
So I didn't order through the TV. I called
instead. They've probably got something connected to the phone.
It's just fucking. It's fucking unbelievable.
Can you imagine if you actually read the file
on yourself that these corporations have,
like the amount of fucking information that they have about you?
And if they actually kept the video, because they've gotten busted
watching people in their fucking
houses, watching people in their houses, watching TV. What if you're banging your wife?
You know? What if you're walking around fucking butt-ass naked? What are they doing? How is that
legal? It's unfucking real, man. These fucking nerds are making robots so you can fuck. They're
down there fucking them at the factory, trying them out before they sell it to us. You got these other
fucking nerds, they're in the goddamn TV watching your fucking your wife. And there's barely a ripple.
Barely a fucking ripple. But as a comedian, if you send out a fucking tweet that steps on somebody's
toes all of a sudden, there's like this big fucking dust up. If I ever get in trouble for a
fucking tweet or anything like that, that's going to be my defense. Hey, hey, hey, hey,
guys, guys, guys, I'm not fucking a robot. Okay? I'm not bundling your information,
watching you're banging your spouse through your fucking TV.
Let's have some priorities, huh?
Ladies?
Um, sorry.
Getting all fucking amped up here again.
You know?
Uh, all right.
So anyway, so I put on the TV to try to find the fucking menu.
And this TV is so, like, the only way you can, like, change the channel is you have to go back to guide and then go through.
I mean, I can't even, I can't even figure out the fucking TV.
this is why I hate technology
and why I felt like
somewhere in the 90s they just should have stopped
quality of life was good enough
but this shit where it's just like
I always equated to reading
it's like I learned how to read
I didn't have to relearn how to
fucking read every six months
but like with computers and TV and shit
that's what it's like it's like
hey I know how to turn on a TV
I know how to operate a TV
and then the next day oh wait no I don't
I don't.
Now I have to waste time
relearning something that I
would be like every time you got your fucking car
every six months now you don't know
how to drive you have to learn how to fucking drive again.
We get it Bill. You don't like technology.
No, I like it to a point.
You know, central air conditioning, you know,
modern medicine and that type of shit.
But I mean, we were all fucking good.
Right. I mean, what if they really cured
in the last fucking 20 years?
People still die of cancer.
People still go bald.
You know?
You know, people still get hammer toes.
Actually, they can fix hammer toes, right?
Stop.
Hammer toes, boo, do, do, do, right?
They can fix those fucking things, can't they?
Anyway, so I get into the fucking hotel here.
And I saw this hilarious ad for this shit called ageless male.
You know?
And they're like, well, once you get over the age of 40, your testosterone levels go down.
Yeah, because you're too old to fuck.
Because no one wants to see you with your shirt off.
Because you're fucking old.
And now people are taking these goddamn young pills.
You know?
You want to fuck right into your 80s?
You want your dick to stand in attention.
You want your balls to support the troops.
Get this fucking ageless male.
All these fucking morons pumping all this extra testosterone.
Isn't that how you lose your fucking hair?
Isn't that like a testosterone issue?
Like you have too much in there?
That's going to be.
fucking hilarious. All these guys going for abs that had a nice fat of hair, then they're going to go
fucking bald. Now they've got to get the fucking hair plugs. It just never ends. I bet the guys who
make hair plugs also make ageless male. You know, and they've gotten, like, all the bald guys
that gave a fuck enough to get hair plugs, they've kind of like, you know, you reach that saturation
point. Like, remember Crocs? It's just, they ran out of douchebags to find to buy those things.
Which, by the way, man, I've been like, I told you, getting rid of a bunch of shit.
And that's all I see stuff as now.
I just look at it like, that shit I'm just going to have to throw out one day.
You know?
We walked through the airport, Dean Delray, who fucking murdered last night.
Murdered.
Do you hear me?
Murdered.
He was pointing out some store at the airport that sells records and all of this shit.
He's like, man, that...
He's like, dude, that store kills.
You know, Dean talks.
He fucking kills, man.
People go in there.
And I just looked in there.
I go, that is just a bunch of shit.
I'm going to have to throw out one day.
I'm done, dude.
I'm not taking anything.
You know?
When I did that show, like last week, at the Hooters,
upstairs in the big room.
When I left, they tried to give me a fucking hat and a t-shirts.
I'm all set.
Thank you.
All good.
Don't need that laying around the fucking house.
I got so many goddamn jackets.
I don't know how the fuck I have enough fucking jackets.
I could clothe every homeless person that's roughly my size in Los Angeles, the amount of jackets I have.
And does anybody, is there a coat drive?
It's fucking July.
When's the next coat drive?
I'm getting, I'm going to have one winter coat, one fucking spring coat, and then fucking some piece of shit when it rains.
That's it.
When the fuck did I become coat guy?
I can't, I don't even know.
I think I have like fucking 20 coats.
Got all this sports shit.
I'm done with it.
I'm done.
I'm telling you right now,
I want to fucking dress like Malcolm Young,
rest of soul the rest of my life.
Jeans and a fucking plain t-shirt.
You got to get the plain t-shirt.
I'll tell you why.
Even though you didn't ask,
you don't have any emotional attachment to it.
Right?
If it says the Andorondacks,
you're like, oh, that's where I went on my honeymoon.
When I banged my wife up in the fucking mountains,
then you can't get rid of it.
But if you fucked her in a plane,
gray t-shirt. You don't remember that. And then you know what? You get rid of it. That's what
it's all about. Look at this sad bowl of fucking vegetable soup. That's the age I'm at now, people.
I'm 50 years old and I order a soup and a salad. And I eat it. And then right afterwards, I feel like
I need a nap. Which is why you need ageless mail. You don't. Age naturally. Die when you're
supposed to and get the fuck out of the way. All right. Let me read some advertising here for this
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And we'll go to our first question here.
Okay, Eastern European Tour.
Good afternoon.
On the July 9th, 2018th, podcast, and around 28 and a half minutes in, Bill
briefly mentions an Eastern European tour.
I was trying to locate specifics on this and wasn't able to do so.
Do you have any information on this or is it just a pipe dream at this stage?
Thanks.
No, it's a real fucking tour.
Let's see here.
I don't want to name cities.
All right?
Because I don't want to get people all, you know, thinking then I'm coming and then I don't.
Let me just see what I can do here.
Let me find a fucking email.
Why doesn't anything with technology work for me?
Why can I get up to the fucking search bar here?
There we go.
Okay, looking for Eastern European tour.
Burr, European tour.
Well, that's the other thing.
Come on, man.
This was supposed to be easy, man.
All right, Dollar Shave Club, press itinerary.
No subject.
Is it this one?
Okay.
These are the ones we will.
thinking about doing. Okay? I'm not going to say him because I don't want you guys to get all
fucking excited and then I don't go. All right. One of them rhymes. Oh, this is a hardborn to rhyme.
With Lutapest. Another one rhymes with Rog. Another one rhymes with Sienna.
Horsaw
And Berlin
Maybe I'm going to do Germany
Maybe Cologne
Slovenia, Brussels
And I think we're going to add some more to that
I mean it's maybe going to
It's going to be in those areas
Okay, because here's a deal dude
If I get close to your fucking country
You know, just jump on a fucking train and go over
Once you paper, please
You know
I mean how fucking far am I supposed to travel you cunts
we'll see we'll work it out but i mean i want to do more dates than that so uh we'll see and this guy
interestingly left says poland wants you uh dear bill my husband and i have been fans for many years
we love the podcast and of course your specials and all the hilarious and creative content that
all things comedy is putting out great stuff look at this all things comedy appealing to people
around the world world world world um that's why we're crazy excited about your upcoming
European tour.
We live in Europe,
Germany and Poland, and think you should consider
Warsaw, Poland,
as one of your stops.
There's a pretty lively English language
stand-up comedy scene here. I love it.
Check out worldwide comedy,
Facebook.com slash worldwide comedy
and Twitter.com slash
whatever the fuck that is, something about Warsaw.
For some information.
The food, beer, and vodka are great.
Oh, you had me at beer and vodka.
You'll see the scars of World War II and Soviet occupation all over the place.
For example, on the city, streets, and highways.
Driving can be a serious hazard.
A driving with Bill's special edition episode would be really funny.
I could possibly do that.
For some reason, they wrote WRO, like, Roar Claw.
is a great university. I thought they spelled Warsaw wrong.
Rorclaw is a great university city with an awesome history, which we know interests you.
It used to be called Breslau, and it was one of the Nazi strongholds at the end of World War II.
You can Google Fet Sung Breslau or Siege of Breslau for some of the insane backstory.
I will definitely be doing that.
In fact, the Nazis evacuated the city as the allies were approaching.
They evacuated the citizens to Dresden, Germany, where they were mostly all killed in allied firebombing.
Yeah, in Dresden, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, whoever lost World War II was going to be tried for war crimes.
There was all kinds of evil done in that.
Also, this is one of the cities where the solidarity movement started in 1980, which could
to the collapse of communism.
Oh, I remember that guy, the guy with the big mustache.
He got you guys all mobilized over there.
Forget the guy's name. Plus, there are like 400 dwarf statues
hidden all around the city. Weird but cool.
Anyways, we hope you'll consider adding Poland to your Eastern European tour.
We wish you the best. Thanks for the great content.
You and the ATC network are putting out. We love it.
P.S. Your name in Polish would be either
Viljik or Vilush.
Ah, fuck.
I can, I can, just by those names alone, I can hear the fucking weight that I'm going to
fucking be putting on when I go over there.
I can't wait to do it.
I've never been there.
You know, I'm going to talk to my, to my agent again on Monday about this shit.
I mean, I might as well do as many as I can.
when the fuck am I ever going to be back?
All right.
And so here's a deal.
I'm going to go over there.
And all I need is you cunts better show up.
All right?
Because I don't be over there eating some fucking Bratworths
and fucking Poland in front of three goddamn people.
Going, we were the ones that sent the emails.
Nobody else gave a fuck.
I was actually going to order a movie in the hotel room here.
And for whatever fucking reason, they want 2499.
Is that because nobody's going to the movies anymore?
So they're trying to make back the fucking budget of the movie.
I actually worked on a movie this week,
written by and directed by the one and only Steve Byrne.
You got me a couple days on his movie.
And old freckles went down there.
And I played a cunt.
So it wasn't much of a stretch.
I wasn't really acting.
I just sort of did what the fuck I normally do.
Anyways, you know what the great thing about not drinking is?
Aside, waking up fresh as a goddamn daisy.
I mean, my freckles glow when I wake up when I'm not drinking is I got on the plane and I landed and I went down and I worked out and then took a fucking steam.
And I'm knocking out my podcast here.
I would not have done this.
Granted, I don't have any crazy stories about going into bars and shit.
shit, which kind of feeds the podcast.
You know?
But at some point, I just have to make a decision here.
You know?
Am I going to wake up sober?
With a less funny podcast?
Or am I going to keep boozing
and continue to crush the podcast game?
No, I'm kidding.
I actually have no idea where my podcast is in the overall.
I know these fucking people that do podcasts.
the number one fucking b' b'b-b-b-boo-b-boo. Everybody has a million fucking downloads.
You know, I don't want to get it. How can everybody be number one? Everybody's in the fucking top ten?
Dude, I had this guy on as a guest and it put me in the top ten on fucking iTunes.
Anyways, what the fuck was I just looking up? I want to look up that shit about the fucking Nazis.
Dude, World War II, the fucking crimes against the shit that you read, like the shit that American troops, I read this fucking thing and this guy shot this Japanese soldier.
And the guy couldn't like fucking move.
I don't know if he's paralyzed and he had gold teeth.
And the dude was still alive.
And the fucking guy took a knife out.
It was digging the gold teeth out of the guy's mouth while he was alive.
And the dude was screaming in agony.
and another American soldier went up
and just shot the guy like Jesus Christ
put him out of his fucking misery.
Crazy.
You know what I mean?
But everybody makes movies and everybody on one side
is fucking evil and everybody else.
Dude, you can't be involved in that shit.
People go fucking nuts.
You know, especially all it is,
it's just, I would think that once,
like look how mad I got at that fucking old lady
who gave me the flare chop.
Now imagine
if I was man enough to join the armed services, right?
Armed forces, whatever the fuck you call them.
And I'm out there on patrol and I see one of my friends get killed.
Like, what kind of fucking mood are you going to be in after that?
You know?
It's fucking insane.
And I swear to God, the more I watch the Discovery Channel
and the more I watch chimpanzees behavior, I swear to God,
just watch those fuckers.
Watch what the fuck they do to each other.
I watch what they do to other monkeys and shit.
I'm telling you.
Telling you, that's what we are.
Whenever I watch shit on TV, I've been sending this for years.
I just always think of this fucking documentary that I watch these chimpanzees,
and like 10 of them ganged up on this other chimp.
They fucking fucked this thing up, did horrible things, agonizing things of this monkey, killed it.
Then afterwards, they were all fucking amped up, and it was like they were all talking shit about what they did in the fight.
So whatever I watch shit on TV,
and I see, like, you know, Trump talking this shit
or that fat fuck over there in Korea
running his fucking, I swear to God,
he looks like a giant piece of fucking,
you ever eat Toro sushi?
It's like from the softest part of the tuna.
Like melts in your mouth.
Like, God help that guy,
if he's ever in a plane crash
that lands in a snowy mountain
and they got to start eating people,
because that guy is going to be a prime cut.
It's all fucking marbled.
You know, he's the boss.
He lost his son. He's never done shit.
You know?
Isn't it funny that he walks around that army outfit and he's like fat?
You know?
It's like when you go to the, you know, those fat people that always wear workout clothes, that old joke.
Anyways, here we go.
Let's read another one here.
Africa.
A. Billy Freckle fuck.
Longtime fan.
Love your work.
Blah, blah, blah.
Listen, I know you're planning on touring Eastern Europe next year.
We got another one.
But how about a tour of.
South Africa at some point.
If you and the lovely knee
ever managed to make your way
to this side of the world,
please don't hesitate to contact.
Also, always know,
always wanted to know if you are friends
with Brian Cranston
or not due to your time together
on Breaking Bad.
Thanks so much and go fuck yourself.
P.S. when are you going to be on Conan again?
A lot of questions.
All right, let's start with Africa.
I would love to go over there.
And I can tell you this right now.
There's no way I would go on
one of those fucking safaris.
in that open car as those lions walk up looking at you.
I know they say that like those lions like they look at the car and the person all is like one giant thing.
So that's why they don't jump up and just yank somebody off the truck.
Well, one of these days, one of those lions is going to figure it out and they're going to yank somebody off the truck and it ain't going to be fucking me.
I can tell you that right now.
Do you ever see that fucking video that poor woman,
this Asian family?
She didn't want to, she was driving through the safari.
She didn't want to drive and she got out and walked around the car.
And I'm telling you, man, this tiger comes in the frame and grabs her and yanks.
Like, I couldn't yank like a dishrag out of frame faster than this thing took this 115 pound woman out of the frame.
And then, like, her son or something, didn't know what to do.
And this fucking hero ran over there.
And then he ended up getting killed.
And his mom got, like, mauled or something.
It was fucking brutal.
Fucking brutal.
So I know you're probably laughing going, Bill.
You know, we have cities over here.
It's not just a bunch of lions and tigers fucking walking around.
I know, but I'm just saying.
The touristy thing to go over there.
Basically, your zoo is the jungle.
Unless I'm crazy.
I don't know.
Anyways.
What was the other thing?
I always want to know if you are friends with Brian Craig.
I'm friendly with him.
The few times I've run into him.
Have I run into him since Breaking Bad?
I don't think I have.
During Breaking Bad, I ran into him at a party with a mutual friend.
Yeah.
And I don't remember ever, I don't ever remember us coming to blows.
So I would say that we are very friendly.
But we don't hang, if that's what your question is.
When am I going to be on Conan again?
I don't know, hopefully soon.
I fucking love Conan.
I love South Africa and I love Brian Cranston.
I mean, you went three for three here.
All right, the crazies.
The crazies.
Hey, Bill, the crazy little thing about you getting called a Republican douche
is that I see just as many people on Reddit and Twitter
accusing you of being a liberal softie.
Yes, and all of that is just more evidence
of what a cunt I am.
All right?
When I'm in L.A., I make fun of Hillary.
When I'm in a red state, I make fun of Trump.
You know?
I don't understand being in front of a group of people
and just saying what they already think.
Like, where is the fun in that?
Say the opposite of what they think
and make them mad and see if he can get them to stay.
Right?
Anyways, it seems like people just attack
and focus on only one thing,
they care about.
As you always say,
as you always say,
love you,
congrats on Royal Ebel Hall.
It's my dream
to play trumpet there.
Thanks and go fuck yourself.
Well, I hope that dream comes true.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've been accused of,
it all depends on what the argument is.
Yeah, I think,
yeah, I've been called,
yeah, a red-pilled-eating Republican.
I've been called a liberal
liberal-tard snowflake cuck-hold all of that shit and i've been called a centrist i love this
centrist one like isn't that the smart one well you're kind of in the middle you lean a little bit i lean
left i think i do anyways it all depends on who the fuck i'm talking to depends on how far left you
are um or how far right you are you probably think i lean way left i don't know but uh centrist is
I don't know. I can be swayed.
You know, you present a good fucking argument, you know.
Take a guy like Ted Nugent.
I don't agree with a lot of this shit that that guy says, but he does say shit on
occasion.
I'm like, that I agree with.
I just don't write people off 100%, you know?
And I also don't think that I have all the fucking answers.
So if that makes me, I don't know what the fuck that makes me.
He's a centrist.
Do you realize how fucking do you?
juicy that is, that adults literally have to, like, come up and label everything.
What that really means is you don't think the way I think, and I can't fucking handle it.
So I'm going to come up with a word that is going to have some sort of negative connotation.
And I think you're so weak as a person that it will affect—I don't know what—I really don't give a shit.
You're a centrist. Am I? Okay. All right. You're a liberal snowflake. Okay. All right.
You're a Trump.
supporter. Okay, fine, fine, there you go. Now go yell about that to somebody at work.
Anyways, documentary about origin of soccer. Oh, by the way, I learned more about that World Cup
Trophy. Somebody sent me this thing on Twitter. Okay, so there's one World Cup trophy and you're not
allowed to have it because it's worth like 20 million bucks. So if you win it, they actually give you a
replica of it. This is what this person was trying to tell me. I don't know if any of this is true.
Then somebody else told me that if you win like three of them, you actually get to keep the
fucking thing and Brazil has one and then they had to make another one. Now, rather than just
telling you guys shit that I've heard, I could actually look up World Cup trophy, which I can't
believe how small it is. It's ridiculous. World Cup trophy history. Here we go. All right. And
I'm going to click on, let me do what everybody does when you search something
on the fucking internet is you just take the first, what the fuck is this thing?
Where the hell did this just take me?
Have you noticed now like it just gives you one option?
You know they're paying.
People are paying for that.
Look at this.
It keeps taking me the same fucking site.
Roll Cup trophy history.
Search Google.
Come on.
Keeps taking me.
this fucking website, and I'm not going to name the name of it.
Look at that.
It just fucking kicked me off, you fucking cunts.
How much did they pay?
I can only go to you.
World Cup trophy.
And a triple.
Trophy.
History.
Search Google.
There we go.
All right.
That was a fucking glitch or something.
The World Cup is a gold trophy.
Oh, it's actually made out of gold.
Ours is fake shit.
No wonder, ours is so big.
I think the Stanley Cup is made out of fucking aluminum.
Stainless Steel, maybe.
It's a gold trophy that is awarded to the winners of the FIFA World Cup associated.
Since the advent of the World Cup in 1930, two trophies have been used.
The Jules Rimit Trophy from 1930 to 1970 and the FIFO World Cup trophy from 1974 to present day.
The first trophy, originally named Victory,
but later renamed in honor of Fifea President Jules Rimet,
or is that Yule's Riemat?
I have no idea.
Was made of gold-plated sterling silver and lapis lazuli.
Whatever the fuck that is, as depicted and depicted Nike,
the Greek goddess of victory.
Oh, is that what the sneaker company has?
I didn't know that.
Wait, let's do a quick little aside here.
In ancient Greek mythology,
Nike was a goddess who personified victory.
Her Roman equivalent was Victoria.
She was variously described as the daughter of the Titan upon the gods.
I had no idea.
I had no fucking idea.
Look at that, learning something.
Even Bill can learn something.
Anyways, Brazil won the trophy outright in 1917.
prompting the commissioning of the replacement.
Well, how did they win it outright?
They just won it so many times.
Like, ah, just give to these fuckers.
I'm sick of carting it across the world.
The original Jewel's Rima Trophy was stolen in 1983 and never recovered.
What?
There's only one per.
That's a drug lord.
Fucking Pablo Escobar had that or something.
The subsequent trophy called the Fifea World Cup trophy was introduced to
1974 made of 18-carat gold with the something base to stand.
Okay, now wait a second, wait a second.
World Cup trophy stolen.
Maybe he wasn't so fucking small.
They couldn't have stuck it under their shirt.
The theft of the Jules Rimiff trophy.
It was stolen in 1966.
Prior to the 1966 World Cup, the trophy was later recovered.
I thought they said they didn't get it.
One man, Steve Pook of Bristol was convicted for being.
involved but other possible culprits are still in the know you can't tell me that guy's not a
fucking legend trophy placed in how come that hasn't been made into a movie some sort of fucking
comedy was he some jerk off from a sports bar the football associated received the
theft on the march 20th Sunday March 20 when the guards began a noon circuit around 1220 they
noticed that someone had forced open the display case and the rear doors of the building and
stolen the trophy the wooden bar the
that held the
trophy,
that held the door closed
was lying on the floor.
That's all they had
to stop them?
Thieves removed
the screws and the bolts
that held the other side
of the door.
They went to Home Depot
and bought some screwdriver
and stole the biggest
sports trophy
in the fucking world.
What a simple time.
They had removed
the padlock
from the back of the display case,
taken the trophy,
and left the way they came.
None of the guards
had seen or heard
anything suspicious.
though one of them reported that he had seen a strange man by the public telephone when he had visited the lavatory on the first floor.
Jesus, those guys were fucking off, huh?
Scotland Yard took control of the case and gave it to the Flying Squad.
The Flying Squad?
What the fuck is that?
Sounds like a musical.
The Flying Squad, also known as the Robbery Squad, is a branch of this serious and organized crime.
command. Did an eight-year-old name all this shit with London's Metropolitan Police?
Raw, is this serious? It's not the frivolous crime command. This is this serious and organized crime.
Squad's purpose is to investigate commercial armed and unarmed robberies along with the prevention,
investigate, and it gives a fuck. Sounds like they have uniforms. Oh, then somebody, oh, that's somebody
actually they ransomed to the fucking thing. On March 24th,
21st, Joe Mears, the chairman of the football association, received an anonymous phone call.
The unknown man said that Mears would receive a parcel at Chelsea Football Club the next day.
The parcel was delivered to Mears home.
It contained the removable lining from the top of the trophy and a ransom note that demanded 15,000 pounds in one in five pound notes.
The letter stated that the FAA should place a coded ad, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Despite the warnings that Mears contacted the police,
Detective Charles Buggy of the Flying Squad
and gave the trophy lining in the letter to him.
Police told Mears to place an ad
and contacted a bank, created a false ransom payment
out of bundles of ordinary paper with real money
only at the top and the bottom, which were replaced in a suitcase.
Two police officers were to act as Mears' assistance
in handing over the money.
And went home to, blah, blah, blah, okay.
So, Mears was suffering from an asthma attack,
so his wife answered instead and gave the phone to assistant McPhee.
Oh, McPhee.
Jackson was nervous, but finally agreed to arrange a switch and told McPhee to come to,
ah, you fucking moron.
And then he got caught.
Man, isn't that something?
You see that?
You learn something every goddamn day, don't you?
What a fucking dope.
He should have just kept.
the goddamn thing. Then you can't. What are you going to show your friends? They're going to
fucking open their mouths trying to get laid. All right. Anyways, documentary about the origin of
soccer. Hey, Bill, you're talking about the origin of soccer last podcast and I wanted to give you
a recommendation to watch Wild in the Streets. It's the origin of all football, including
rugby soccer and your football. It is literally a type of rugby played by an entire town,
North versus South.
The entire city is the field they play on.
Well worth their watch, especially for sports fan.
I found it on Amazon slash Fire TV.
Have a good day.
All right, I'll try to check that out.
Lastly, but not leastly, classic movies.
Dear Billy Dollars.
After he talked about Lamont's last month, I decided to watch the movie.
I really loved it.
I never knew I needed to drive through Europe until I saw that movie.
I'm 22, and the first thing I noticed was how differently it was Pays,
compared to the schizophrenic stuff I grew up with.
It was very calming in a way.
I was wondering if you could recommend any good movies from that era.
I'm going to keep watching McQueen movies,
but I was hoping you could give more titles from the era
so I don't burn out all of his at once.
You can't go wrong with Steve McQueen.
You can't go wrong with Paul Newman.
Obviously, Paul Newman, I would watch The Hustler.
I liked HUD
What else?
Cool Hand Luke
Steve McQueen
and Ewell Brenner
You gotta go
Magnificent 7
Cincinnati Kid
Bullet
And for those of you
Before you go see the rock movie
Go watch the Towering Inferno
If you watch the Towering Inferno
And then you watch Die Hard
I think you'll see
Those two are combined
When they sold that movie
The new rock movie
movie. I feel like it's those two movies combined.
Wow, I haven't thought about movies in a minute.
What else did I like from back then?
I liked all the Clinties with Spaghetti Westerns.
Love Charles Bronson. Anything with Lee Marvin in it?
The Dirty Dozen, Bridge on the River Kwai,
Kelly's Heroes, The Great Escape,
Speaking of which, do you know, when I did Steve Burns' movie,
the character that I'm playing
at one point is putting golf balls
in his office
and somebody connected with the movie
was friends with the James Garner estate
speaking of the Great Escape
and the putter I used
was James Garner's old putter
and it was fucking unbelievable
because I always watch me TV
and the Rockford Files
is one of my favorite shows
of all time and I love it even more
than I did when I was
as a kid because I never understood, like, I think losers too harsh a word, but like how much this guy
was struggling in life. He lived in a trailer on the beach. He had the firebird. He didn't have the money
for the Trans Am. And he couldn't sustain a relationship. I mean, the guy was a mess. He didn't
like to fight. I mean, he was just fucking funny as hell. That's another one that I love. But I am, right now,
I'm just burning through that 77 sunset strip with Ephraim Zimbelis Jr.
I just can't get enough for that show.
And it's just, it's that classic shit where any time a woman comes on screen,
they play that fucking saxophone music, man.
It's just fucking hilarious.
Ephraim's smoking in like every other scene.
And in his drink is, he likes an old-fashioned rye.
And like back then when they were building a character,
They had to have their drink and they had to have a car.
And Ephraimbalist's character in 77 Sunset Strip is, he favors a Ford Thunderbird convertible.
And I've only seen season six.
So I think that was a 1963 or a 64 Thunderbird convertible.
But I went online and I watched the intro to all the different seasons.
And he seems to have late 50s.
ones because it ran from like 57 to 63 it was like six seasons or something like that so it'd be cool
if i'm watching it and he gets a new thunderbird every year convertible um and once again the
restaurant uh this office that he's coming out of is dean martin's denos that old restaurant that he
had and um which was on las yanoga it was on sunset boulevard at the corner of la siena on the
southwest side of the street.
Pretty fucking badass.
Anyways, I'm an old man,
and I got two shows to do here.
Thank you to everybody that came out
to Portland last night.
I had such great shows,
and thank you to everybody
who's coming out to my shows tonight in Seattle.
This is one of my favorite cities,
and I think the next time I come here,
I'm going to try to do, like, what I did in San Francisco.
I'm going to play a smaller venue
and just be here for a week.
I'm going to bring my wife and kid up here because
the lovely Nia always wanted to go to Seattle,
and I've never brought her up here.
And I don't know.
It's a shame because it's so fucking close.
And it just never seems to work out with their schedule.
So I think next time I might do one of my favorite theaters in the country,
which is the Moore Theater, which for you rock fans,
that's where Allison Shane shot that black and white concert film.
That's where Pearl Jam shot that video,
you know, where Eddie Better climbed up the side and dropped down into the ground.
right remember that song um all right that's it um all right that's it go fuck yourselves congratulations to
france winning the world cup congratulations to croatia england belgium all you guys that got down
to the final four it's fucking incredible it was an incredible thing to watch and i hope to go the
next time there's a world cup i'll check in on you on thursday see you
