Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin - 5 Ways to Enrich Your Social Life

Episode Date: February 28, 2022

Toxic people suck up your precious time (well, they just suck, too). And as Nicole has said before: time is your most valuable asset. You can make more money; you can’t make more time. The more protective you are of how to spend it, the stronger your community will be and you will be stronger as a result. Today, Nicole shares five surefire ways to tell if someone is polluting your life. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Money rehabbers, you get it. When you're trying to have it all, you end up doing a lot of juggling. You have to balance your work, your friends, and everything in between. So when it comes to your finances, the last thing you need is more juggling. That's where Bank of America steps in. With Bank of America, you can manage your banking, borrowing, and even investing all in one place. Their digital tools bring everything together under one roof, giving you a clear view of your finances whenever you need it. Plus, with Bank of America's wealth of expert guidance available at any time, you can feel confident that your

money is working as hard as you do. So why overcomplicate your money? Keep it simple with Bank of America, your one-stop shop for everything you need today and the goals you're working toward tomorrow. To get started, visit bofa.com slash newprosmedia. That's b-o-f-a dot com slash n-e-w pros p-r-o-s media. bfa.com slash newprosmedia. Hey guys, are you ready for some money rehab? Wall Street has been completely upended by an unlikely player, GameStop. And should I have a 401k? You don't do it? No, I never do it. You think the whole world revolves around you and your money.

Well, it doesn't. Charge for wasting our time. I will take a check. Like an old school check. You recognize her from anchoring on CNN, CNBC, and Bloomberg. The only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. Nicole Lappin. I hope that by now it's making sense that we can't think about our financial life in a vacuum.

Our finances are affected by every other facet of our lives. Our mental health, our relationships, our home environment. And so on the show, I want to cover all of these interactions so that you can take a holistic approach to enriching yourself. And that means, yes, building your wealth, but also living a healthier, happier, rich life in all aspects of the world rich. So today I'm going to be talking about building your tribe, the people around you that empower you to get it together and get it all. You can tell a lot about a person by answering this very simple question. How do I feel after I see so-and-so? If your answer is anything other than fan-fucking-tastic, then buh-bye, so-and-so. Now, there are exceptions to this rule, like being there for a good friend

who might just be going through a particularly crappy time and acting like it. But as Amy Poehler once said, anyone who doesn't make you feel good, kick them to the curb. And the earlier you start in your life, the better. Toxic people just suck up your precious time. Well, they just suck too. But as I've said before, time is our most valuable asset, hands down. You can always make more money. You can't make more time. The more protective you are of how you spend it, the stronger your community will be and you will be stronger as a result. The more protective you are of how you spend it, the stronger your community will be and you will be stronger as a result. Here are five surefire ways to tell if someone is polluting your life.

Number one, they're a drain on your energy. If you dread seeing this person or feel totally depleted after you do, they're not additive to your life. They're toxic. Number two, they drain on your resources. Anyone who regularly exploits your generosity, whether it's your time or actual money, is not a friend, but a freeloader. Number three, they're all about the drama. Think drama just follows some people around? False. Toxic people attract negative energy, which makes them a magnet for drama. Time for a curtain call on them. Number four, you feel the need to make excuses for them. If you find yourself making excuses for how someone behaves or treats you or others, first of all, stop because you're

enabling them and thus part of the problem. And second of all, recognize them for what they are, a negative force in your life and others' lives. Number five, they make you less you. This is perhaps the scariest one of all. If you find that you are your judgiest, meanest, or most insecure self around this person, they're not a friend. True friends make you shine brightest. Toxic people turn out the lights. If you need to let some people go for whatever reason, here are my suggestions for making the break.

Say nothing. Where appropriate, that's often the loudest message of them all. Saying nothing isn't literally nothing. If you come into contact with the person, give the most basic response you can. Don't ghost. Saying nothing is not ghosting. If someone is regularly blowing up your phone and you're not acknowledging them at all, then that's not cool. If you feel pressured to give an explanation, try something like,

I'm taking time to focus on myself and my priorities, or I have a lot going on right now and I won't be able to see you. Done. Repeat that message as often as you need to, and eventually they'll get the point. Be kind and genuine. Kindness is super underrated, and being kind even to people you no longer want in your life is just the right thing to do. For better or worse, they had an impact on you and contributed to making you the super money rehab you you are today. Plus, people change. Situations change. Life is long. The world is small. Don't be an asshole. That's my motto. You're likely going to run into some of these people again, especially if they're part of your larger network. And while we might not want those

relationships in our lives, we don't want that juju either. Once you clear your friend deck, you'll only want to invite the best, most supportive people on board. And yes, you can still make friends as an adult. I have. But if you feel like it's been a while since you've had to, here are five ways you can fill that friend deck back up. Number one, sign up for random classes. I've tried the most random classes, from horticulture to a samba dance class held in a pool. The more I forced myself out of the Friday night out or Sunday brunch routines, the more I connected with people I wouldn't likely run into at my usual brunch spot. There's a site I love called CourseHhorse.com that allows you to find and sign up for all kinds of fun classes in one place. Airbnb also offers experiences in addition to home rentals. If you have an idea for a class and you just can't find it, call the business directly

and see if you can take a lesson with them. I couldn't find a particular class to help me create the latte art I always wanted to. So I called up a coffee shop and I asked them if they would teach me and they did. Number two, find free stuff. I've signed up for a bunch of different newsletters that show all of the activities in my neighborhood that are free, many of which I would have never heard of otherwise. An acclaimed chef doing a demonstration at the opening night of her restaurant? A poetry reading? Tai Chi in the park? Uh, yes, yes, yes, please. Number three. Join a club. No, clubs are not just for high schoolers trying to get into a good college. I'm sure there are a ton of sports clubs in your area like softball or kickball leagues that you could join to feel part of a community and get

your sweat on as a bonus. But beyond that, there are book clubs, language conversation clubs, and groups that get together to talk about just about everything from Southeast Asian art to science. Try meetup.com for some ideas. The ones that meet to talk about the stuff you never thought you'd actually have an interest in are the best. Go hang out with those folks. And if there's no group already formed to talk about whatever you want, then go ahead and start one yourself. Number four, rethink your routine. Think about how you can replace your inner creature of habit with a creature of curiosity when i was living in new york i tried to walk a different street home

every day along the way i discovered a samurai sword fighting class a seminar on jewish mysticism and i met a cool homeless guy who played chess with me or rather schooled me in chess in the park you don't have to be in a walkable city to change up your route. You can find hidden gems anywhere, but only if you look for them and not down at your phone. Number five, talk to everyone. Staring at your shoes or at your phone in the elevator or at line at the grocery store doesn't help you meet new people or find potential adventures. A girlfriend of mine who I met while we were both eating brunch alone at the counter, I say I picked her up at a bar, has the philosophy called the hey method. She just says,

hey, whether it's to a potential business partnership or a cute guy that walks by, the hey can end with just that. Or it could end with a new partnership, or a cute guy that walks by. The hey can end with just that, or it could end with a new partnership, a new boyfriend, or unlikely buddies. Like a friend of mine I met at a boxing class. She and her family fled Cuba, and the stories she told me brought everything I'd read about it to life. For today's tip, you can take straight to the bank. Take the Hey Challenge. I've met a Holocaust survivor and a special Olympian just by saying, Hey, take the Hey Challenge. Can you say hey to one stranger a day? Yes, you can. Money Rehab is a production of iHeartRadio.

I'm your host, Nicole Lappin. Our producers are Morgan Lavoie and Mike Coscarelli. Executive producers are Nikki Etor and Will Pearson. Our mascots are Penny and Mimsy. Huge thanks to OG Money Rehab team Michelle Lanz for her development work, Catherine Law for her production and writing magic, and Brandon Dickert for his editing, engineering, and sound design.

And as always, thanks to you for finally investing in yourself so that you can get it together and get it all.