Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin - Be Your Own Valentine

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

Yes, you are your most important Valentine. Always have been, always will be. Listen to this episode to learn the simple thing Nicole does to commit to herself and her goals— and give it a try! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Well, it doesn't. Charge for wasting our time. I will take a check. Like an old school check. You recognize her from anchoring on CNN, CNBC, and Bloomberg. The only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. Nicole Lappin. Happy Valentine's Day, my sweet money rehabbers.

Last week, we had an episode for listeners who are currently in a relationship and trying to figure out how to not break the bank over Valentine's Day. But here's the thing. Whether you're in a relationship or not, there are two other people that you should be thinking about today. First, your galentine or galentine, your friends, your tribe. Drop them a little note. Tell them that you love and appreciate them. Valentine's Day is all about spreading the love, right? And speaking of, here's the second person you should show some appreciation for today. You. Yes, you are your most important Valentine. Always have been, always will be. So I recently got engaged. And of course,

that's something I'll tell you more about in future episodes. But before my boyfriend put a ring on it, I put a ring on it. Yeah, I bought myself my own wedding ring. A lot of people set out to date themselves, but I wanted to do more than the cursory dinner and a movie alone. Although if you haven't taken yourself to dinner and a movie alone, I'd highly suggest you do that ASAP. It is awesome. I wanted to be exclusive. For me, dating myself meant going all the way, being all in, getting serious with my goals, and giving myself the patience and attention

and affection that I gave to my romantic partners. In countless TV shows and movies, you've heard the father figure sit the boyfriend figure down and say, what are your intentions with my daughter? Basically, he wants to know if the guy's going to treat his little girl well and put a ring on it or whatnot. But I have yet to see a show or movie where the main character asks him or herself, what are my intentions for me? So whether you have a wedding ring on the left hand now or ever, it's so important to have one on the right hand, no matter what. It's time to live with the intention of treating yourself well. The strength of the commitment you make to yourself determines how your life is going to turn out. Remember, this is not a shotgun wedding with yourself we're talking about. We're in this for the long run.

In the back of my notebook, yes, I still carry an actual spiral bound notebook everywhere I go, kind of like how Linus carries his blanket around. I have a few evergreen lists. These are my confidence boost cheat sheets that I use when I need a little extra TLC. The first one is affectionately called How I Am Awesome. It reminds me why I put a ring on it. Here are some of the highlights in case you're curious. I am a great gift giver. I am a fighter. I have sweet writing skills. I can give a speech without notes. I can recite many of Shakespeare's sonnets and Tupac's songs by heart. I'm great at researching adventures and then actually taking them. I can change clothes in a Lyft without the driver seeing anything. I can have fun talking to anyone from a CEO to a kid to

a farmer. Okay, your turn. Put whatever you want on the list. How are you awesome? List all the ways. Don't edit. I mean, at least not at first. They can be anything from winning a Pulitzer Prize to having sick origami skills to being able to say the alphabet backwards. When you're done making your list, go back and look for little ways to tweak those attributes into the most positive and powerful version possible. If you wrote, I don't interrupt others when talking, well, that is definitely awesome. But maybe it would be better as I'm great at listening and having productive conversations. If you don't fall down on black diamond runs on the ski slope, then A, you're badass. And B, you're a skilled skier who has mastered the most advanced ski runs, which is what you should write

down. Even if it seems like a good thing not to do something, rephrasing to focus on the thing you do versus what you don't will make the already awesome even more so. If you're still feeling stuck, start small. I have excellent handwriting. And then, widen your scope. I'm a strong writer who can articulate my ideas. Does this exercise make you squirm? Be honest. Like, you're embarrassed to be bragging about yourself? Get over it. You wouldn't hesitate to gush about the good stuff about your partner or best friend, right? So you should be just as generous describing yourself. Your list might have only one item to start with, but keep adding to it when you think of others, and I promise you will. Keeping a list of what

makes you great will train your mind to stay on the lookout for those things. Think of it as a love letter to yourself, from yourself, that you look Think of it as a love letter to yourself, from yourself, that you look at when you need a little extra, well, love. What happens when you start recognizing these things about yourself is that you realize how completely awesome you are without anyone else, without fixing. And yes, I could tell you that. Friends, your mom could tell you that. But what matters is that you know that. So this Valentine's Day, I want you to start thinking, what have you done for you lately? Just you. Here's a little multiple choice quiz.

You know I love those. To help you check in with yourself. Question number one. You want to see a particular movie, but no one you know wants to go. You, A, go see the movie solo. B, ask around to find someone who will see it with you. C, wait for it to come out on Netflix. Question number two. When you're asked to name your hobbies, you say, A, lately I'm into insert super random class you're taking or activity you're asked to name your hobbies, you say A. Lately, I'm into insert super random class you're taking or activity you're passionate about, etc. B. Spending time with family and friends

or C. Working. Question number three. When asked to rank your top three priorities, you list A. A, myself, family, work. B, family, work, myself. C, work, work, work. If you answered mostly A's, you have the right Valentine mentality going. If you answered mostly B's, you have to keep a close eye on the ring you put on yourself. If you answered mostly C's, revisit your how I'm awesome list as many times as it takes to want to actually hang out with that person some more. If you're so immersed with your job or other people that your needs get ignored, you should realize that they don't say put your oxygen mask on first

before helping others on the plane just to fill time before takeoff. You are not going to be any help to anyone else if you are crashing and burning yourself. For today's tip, you can take straight to the bank. After you make your how I'm awesome list, and yes, I would love for you to do that today, reward yourself by treating yourself. Maybe it's a small financial indulgence like that latte, or maybe it's ordering something tasty or taking a long bath. Whatever you'd want your Valentine to do for you, you do that for you. Money Rehab is a production of iHeartRadio. I'm your host, Nicole Lappin. Our producers are Morgan Lavoie and Mike Coscarelli. Executive producers are Nikki Etor and Will Pearson.

Our mascots are Penny and Mimsy. Huge thanks to OG Money Rehab team Michelle Lanz for her development work, Catherine Law for her production and writing magic, and Brandon Dickert for his editing, engineering, and sound design. And as always, thanks to you for finally investing in yourself so that you can get it together and get it all.