Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin - Business or Pleasure? Both! These Business Tools Can Improve Your Love Life

Episode Date: February 14, 2024

Happy Valentine's Day Money Rehabbers! As you well know, this is not a show that will help you get better at dating— but, it is a show that will help you with finance and career. Today, Nicole covers where these two areas crossover, and shares interviews with four people who are using business tools to make their dating lives better. $ Investors: Robinhood has the only IRA that gives you a 3% boost on every dollar you contribute when you subscribe to Robinhood Gold. Learn more at Robinhood.com/boost  $ Want the kiddos in your life to become money masters? Check out Greenlight, the best money app and debit card for families (and get one month free!): http://greenlight.com/moneyrehab $ Is mental health a resolution for 2024? Get 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp at: http://betterhelp.com/moneyrehab  $ The secret to health and wealth is in your gut. Literally. Get 20% off a 90 day bottle of Just Thrive Probiotic and Just Calm. Try it at: justthrivehealth.com and use promo code: MONEYREHAB. $ Want one-on-one money coaching from Nicole? Book a meeting with her here: intro.co/moneynewsnetwork 

One of the most stressful periods of my life was when I was in credit card debt. I got to a point where I just knew that I had to get it under control for my financial future and also for my mental health. We've all hit a point where we've realized it was time to make some serious money moves. So take control of your finances by using a Chime checking account with features like no maintenance fees, fee-free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Learn more at Chime.com slash MNN. When you check out Chime, you'll see that you can overdraft up to $200 with no fees. If you're an OG listener, you know about my infamous $35 overdraft fee that

I got from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it. If I had Chime back then, that wouldn't even be a story. Make your fall finances a little greener by working toward your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in just two minutes at Chime.com slash MNN. That's Chime.com slash MNN. Chime. Feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. Members FDIC. SpotMe eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Boosts are available to eligible Chime members enrolled in SpotMe and are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to Chime.com slash disclosures for details.

I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash, but I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start or even too complicated if, say, you want to put your summer home in Maine on Airbnb, but you live full time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a co-host network, which is a network of high quality local co-hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co-hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your

reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you. I always want to line up a reservation for my house when I'm traveling for work, but sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always feels like a scramble, so I don't end up making time to make my house look guest friendly. I guess that's the best way to put it. But I'm matching with a co-host so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself. Find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host. I'm Nicole Lappin, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. It's time for some money rehab. Happy, happy Valentine's Day, money rehabbers. I know that Valentine's Day can be a hard holiday.

If you feel like you don't have a Valentine, I'm going to stop you right there. I would be happy to be your Valentine. So now that we have that settled onto the topic for today, I am not a dating expert by any stretch of the imagination. I'll be the first to admit that. But there actually is some crossover with what I am an expert in, which is finance. I don't mean dating somebody at work. That is complicado. But I do mean that there are strategies people use to make their businesses work that also totally help people make their relationships work.

So today I'm going to highlight some of these strategies in four acts. And before I jump in, let me say, of course, you don't need to business-ify your relationship or situation-ship or solo-ship. If you like keeping business, business, and romance, romance, I love that for you. Get after it. But let's be honest, relationships can be complicated. And so having some extra tools to help you in those moments is awesome, even if those tools are business tools. So act one is a conversation I had with Megan Wex, a dating coach who created a strategy for finding her soulmate that she called the man funnel. Here's where she explains what that is and how she used it. Before we dig into your fascinating, fascinating brand, I'd love to go back to your sales days to just explain for any listeners who might not know what a sales funnel is,

what it actually is. And if you're in like entrepreneur TikTok, you've probably heard the term before. Yeah. So a sales funnel is essentially the process that a client moves through before they close. And in my dating model called the man funnel, it's essentially like a grouping of leads that may lower from the top of the funnel down to the bottom of the funnel until someone wins the man funnel, aka your heart. It's really, really common in business to think of a sales funnel. And it really looks like an inverted triangle, I guess. So how did you apply this to dating? So I was in this boiler room type telecom sales role right out of college. I didn't know what I wanted to do.

One day, the big boss like slammed these notebooks on the conference table during our 645 AM meeting, Nicole, and they had that inverted triangle, right? And it had all these lines, and we were supposed to write all of our prospects' names on the lines. So when we came in from cold calling and canvassing, that they could see that we had all these new prospects. But the point was they wanted us to know that only 20% of those prospects would make a deal. And for me, that really hit home and it made me start thinking about my romantic life. I guess it would be helpful to explain

what the funnel looks like in dating through your own experience, if you could tell us about that. So it's important to consider dating at least three. Why? Because when you're laser focused onto one thing, you have all your eggs in one basket. It can feel nerve wracking. Okay. So date three people at one time and then

narrow it down to two people and then narrow it down to one person? Not necessarily. You always want to mine the top of the funnel because once you start getting excited about someone who's moving towards the lower end of the funnel, it's important to keep new, fresh prospects there. So when those people disappear, which they frequently do, you're not left in a huge slump of disappointment. And I don't mean date seriously three people at once, but the number three is a really great reminder to consider the top of the funnel. The best time to get a date is when you have a date, right? So that energy you're riding of that excitement, that wave of like having someone that's piquing your interest, instead of going all in on that asset, what I want you to do

is actually remind yourself that that's the perfect time to fill the top of the funnel and keep exploring. But the only way we can do this is if we're not obviously exclusive with one of these people. I mean, what grounds the man funnel and my whole method is integrity and being forthcoming, having integrity with yourself, having integrity with others and dating with grace. And this takes very good and sound communication skills. In sales, you might have a CRM, right? Which is the customer relationship management system. It helps you track those leads in a sales funnel. Did you do anything like that when you were dating? Did you keep track of this? It's such a great question. I absolutely should have,

because I remember clearly being on a date with a man asking about his cat and he did not have a cat. It was a different man. So I advise my clients to use the notes app on their phone and we put a little chart in there and they write details of the profile or what to ask on dates and even what the person might ask you on dates in order to prepare. And they can just study up and refresh themselves on the profile before going on that date. So in sales, the follow-up is also super important. Let's go back to talking about

your sales job for a second. If you pitched your product and it went well, when would you reach back out to that prospect to follow up for a meeting? I think within 48 hours is really good. Dating moves extremely quickly right now, and especially with the online and the availability of new prospects. And you want to stay top of mind while there's still excitement. So 48 hours for sales and dating? For sales? I mean, it depends on your sales cycle or what you agree to. Usually in sales, I would ask a client, when would you like me to follow up? And they would say, oh, I'm free on the 13th or call me in two weeks. And I think with dating, that's a little too long. I think with dating, when it's still top of mind and people are really excited,

you want to reach out again and at least say something. It doesn't mean you're asking them on that next date right away, but you might want to say, oh, hey, how was your Super Bowl? Did you go to your friend so-and-so's house? And remember something that they said in the date and thread that into your follow-up message so they know that you were listening to them on that day and that you care about them and what they said. they know that you were listening to them on that day and that you care about them and what they said. Yeah. I mean, a big part of being a good salesperson selling anything is really

understanding the value proposition of what you're selling and really believing in it. Because I think whoever you're pitching can tell. It can be a lot easier to do that in business because in our personal lives, we have anxiety and insecurity and all the rest. So how do people figure out and feel confident in their own value proposition while dating? You know, one of the things I see that throws us off of our course as humans in dating is speculating about why you're being rejected and editorializing the reasons without knowing the reasons. So one way I think it's helpful to get around worrying about your value and rejection is understanding that there are so many correlating factors, scientific reasons and pheromones that draws us to one partner. It's still like an early

science related to like the chemical portion. And so I like to remind people that somebody else's criteria just isn't really your business. It's just important to know your value and just bring that to the table and continue to move forward until someone feels comfortable with you and they recognize all of that. So the first thing that we would do

is deepen that understanding of self and what you bring to the table through a self-reflective process and asking five of your friends, like, what do you think that I would bring to the table in a relationship or even family members? And remembering that the right person is going to see all of that. Yeah. I think it's important in general to not assume why somebody is rejecting you or not following back up. Like oftentimes we jump to taking it really personally. It must've been me. I must've fumbled that pitch. I must've smelled that on the date or whatever, but usually like they have something totally different going on in their lives. So I think

that's a, that's a good life lesson in general. Act two, we all want our relationships to grow, right? Even if we're in happily ever after land, we all want our relationships to get better over time, wine style. Well, investors and real life power couple Britt and Dave Morin use a very common business tool to make sure their marriage stays happily ever after. Here's me and Britt. We have family OKRs. Do you know what OKRs are? I was just about to say that. I was like, I'm assuming you guys have OKRs. You're going to have OKRs for the fours. Objectives and key results. Nerd central. Total nerd central. We do this personally. We do this for our relationship and we do this for,

well, we want to start doing this for our family. We haven't started that yet, but we think about quarterly, what are the goals we're setting and how do those accrue annually to our big annual goals? And we actually set them at our anniversary. So, which is in July. So it's not calendar year. Well, we do like our annual review at our anniversary, which is in July. So it's not calendar year. Well, we do like our annual review at our anniversary. And so we're like, how was the last year? Did we hit our goals qualitatively and quantitatively? What goals do we want to set for the next year?

And yeah, we do like little check-ins throughout the year. Nerd alert. I know. Oh my gosh. Nerd alert. And so what are your objectives and key results for the boys? Well, that's, yeah, those are the ones we haven't started that. But I would say things like on a scale of 1 to 10, did you treat other people with kindness this quarter?

1 to 10, did you try, were you open to trying new things? You know, right now we're just trying to get them to like eat any vegetable possible, not be freaked out by like playing a new sport that they might not be good at yet, all that stuff. Maybe we would do, did you do things without having to be asked twice, like getting in the bathtub. But we also love creativity and ideation and invention. So we really want to reward them for coming up with like new ideas or figuring out a way to do something that no one else has thought of before. And for instance, my son Ansel is always thinking about like a better way to build something. Like in his bathtub, we have a faucet that's kind of not working. So he used duct tape to like make it

spew out the right way because it was kind of going everywhere. So he used duct tape to like make it spew out the right way because it was kind of going everywhere. And so like that was like a task of ingenuity that could get some bonus points in his OKRs. So we'll have to figure out how we quantify stuff like that. But I want to sort of like reward them for being really brave and courageous and creative more than I necessarily care about cleaning your room every day. Hold onto your wallets. Money Rehab will be right back.

One of the most stressful periods of my life was when I was in credit card debt. I got to a point where I just knew that I had to get it under control for my financial future and also for my mental health. We've all hit a point where we've realized it was time to make some serious money moves. So take control of your finances by using a Chime checking account with features like no maintenance fees, fee-free overdraft up to $200,

or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Learn more at Chime.com slash MNN. When you check out Chime, you'll see that you can overdraft up to $200 with no fees. If you're an OG listener, you know about my infamous $35 overdraft fee that I got from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it. If I had Chime back then, that wouldn't even be a story. Make your fall finances a little greener by working toward your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in just two minutes at Chime.com slash MNN. That's Chime.com slash MNN. Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. Members FDIC. SpotMe eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Boosts are available to eligible Chime members enrolled in SpotMe and

are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to Chime to eligible Chime members enrolled in SpotMe and are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to Chime.com slash disclosures for details. I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash, but I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start or even too complicated if, say, you want to put your summer home in Maine on Airbnb, but you live full time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a co-host network, which is a network of high-quality local co-hosts with Airbnb experience

that can take care of your home and your guests. Co-hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you. I always want to line up a reservation for my house when I'm traveling for work, but sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always feels like a scramble, so I don't end up making time to make my house look guest-friendly. I guess that's the best way to put it. But I'm matching with a co-host so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself. Find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host.

And now for some more money rehab. If you liked OKRs and you want to take it to the next level, then you're going to love Act 3, where you'll hear how Money Rehab's executive producer Morgan and her fiancé Jack have doubled down. Okay, so the contract. That's what we're here to talk about. So how did the contract start? Before we even get into it, how did it start? The contract started because it was a gimmicky way for us to say that we liked each other and that we wanted to continue to see each other it started I think

it was like month two of our relationship you know yeah and so I think the way that I remember it tell me if you remember this too is that we hadn't even decided to be exclusive yet or like say that you were my boyfriend. No. Yeah. No, no, not at all. I think that language was explicitly not used. Right, right, right. I think that there's a line about having an oh so undefined union. Yes, yes, exactly. Yeah, so. It's union. Yes. Yes. Exactly. Yeah. So. It's a living document, we should say.

It's a living. It's a living document. And yes, I think you're right. I think it started because we, I think it was you, was like, hey, this is nice. Do you want to do it again for like another month? Yeah. hey, this is nice. Do you want to do it again for like another month? Yeah.

And then we created this living document on Google Docs where we signed. We like physically put a signature in. And then I think the next cut to the next month, we were like, oh, our contract's up. Should we renew? And it was kind of like a cute, it was a cute bit as we decided to see each other exclusively and be boyfriend girlfriend then the contract did get not more serious but we took it

more seriously we would put little you know not easter eggs in but we'd say like well you know this month we we went out to dinner three times and we really liked it. Next month we want to go out to dinner five times, but we want to try a French restaurant. You know, we've been going to Chinese restaurants. We want to try a French restaurant. Or sometimes it was things that we wanted to hold each other accountable to. It was also an opportunity to hold ourselves accountable. Yeah. Not just to hold each other, but it was like, Jack needs to shave at least weekly. His face is so scratchy. Yeah. But yeah, you know, it started off as like a page and I think now it's like 50 pages or something.

Yeah. It was just a built in time once a month where we could just check in with each other. And I think that it was helpful because one might, in a relationship, make time for the things that aren't working. Because they feel a little bit more urgent sometimes in giving someone the compliment or express the appreciation when something is working. express the appreciation when something is working so it was nice to like you to use the example that you gave like if i was like jack we gotta stop going to chinese restaurants we gotta go to a french restaurant and we actually did it like it was a built-in time for me to be like hey we did that you made the effort on something that i wanted to do and so thank you that was awesome yeah but the most exciting thing of all this summer you proposed and you printed out all of our contracts and you put it on a scroll oh because i should mention as

as we got kind of i mean the contract was always silly and there were some silly things that we put in there that are not suitable for work so i won't mention but another thing that you did once was you surprised me on a contract renewal by getting these like old parliament wings right yeah so we would like whip out the contracts and put on our old parliament wings. It was just so ridiculous. Contract was in session. Contract was in session. But this summer, when you proposed, you printed out our contract on this old scroll. And then when you proposed and I said for me to sign the latest edition of the contract, which had your very sweet proposal message in it, too. Yes. And you are contractually obliged to fiance me.

Yeah. Yeah. So last but certainly not least, my boyfriend, Jared, is making his money rehab debut. Jared, say hi to the money rehabbers hello money rehabbers we've recycled some business strategies into our relationship right such as the one to ten scale right well instead of when i ask my employees like what level of conviction you have one through ten so so I can understand how deeply they thought about it, how important it is to them, so I can adjust accordingly. In our relationship, when we are entering into a potential conflict,

the question becomes, on a scale of 1 through 10, how much do you care about this? Because it turns out, Nicole, you like to be fake angry sometimes. And your level of conviction sounds... Like a 10. Like a 10. But maybe not. It may be a 4 or a 5.

And so, very simply, if we feel it bubbling up, understanding 1 through 10... How important it is to the other person. How much do you care so like this would this played out recently where you wanted to put your lotion on the sink and i wanted it to be on the shelf and then you asked me one through ten how important is this in the lead up to the moment it sounded like a 10 like oh my god this is the most important thing to you and then i clarified how important is this to you and you said it's fine it's a four was it a four it was a five that was and it wasn't a 10 but the the protocol is each partner has to give their number

so to you it was a five and to me it was like a three and so the lotion is now where you want it to be because it's not worth it you know it's like it matters more to you than it does to me and so this works I think in like most cases most of the time unless like both of us are a 10 on something which hasn't happened right yet yet but I would win for today's tip you can take straight to the bank if you're looking to go out to dinner tonight to celebrate Valentine's Day, just know that you're going to probably spend more money than you would on any other day. So many of the upscale restaurants are doing a pre-fixed menu thing for Valentine's Day that locks you into a pricier menu. If you want to skip the V-Day

premium, tell your significant other that you want to start a tradition instead this year, instead of sticking with that traditional dinner out. The point here is to find something meaningful and cost-effective. Once those two criteria are met, the world is your oyster. You could have a picnic at the spot where you first met. You could make Valentine's Day a no-social-media day where instead of scrolling, you spend undistracted time together staring into each other's eyes longingly. You could volunteer for an organization that you and your partner believe in. You get the idea. Make it something that you too can look forward to every year, and that is priceless.

Money Rehab is a production of Money News Network. I'm your host, Nicole Lappin. Money Rehab's executive producer is Morgan Levoy. Our researcher is Emily Holmes. Do you need some money rehab? And let's be honest, we all do. So email us your money questions moneyrehab at moneynewsnetwork.com to potentially have your questions answered on the show or even have a one-on-one intervention with me. And follow us on Instagram at Money News and TikTok at Money News Network for exclusive video content. And lastly, thank you. No, seriously, thank you. Thank you for listening and for investing in yourself,

which is the most important investment you can make.