Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin - Change Maker: Paige Adams-Geller, Founder, on Overcoming Financial Trauma and Creating a Denim Empire
Episode Date: May 21, 2021Fashion mogul and denim maven Paige Adams-Gellar (yes, the creator of PAIGE jeans) discuss how she built her business by trusting her gut, literally working through trauma, and the power of asking for... help.
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bfa.com slash newprosmedia. Hey, money rehabbers. I just wanted to give you a heads up that there
are stories of sexual assault in today's episode, so please take care while listening.
Wall Street has been completely upended by an unlikely player. GameStop. Please take care while listening. For wasting our time, I will take a check. Like an old school check.
You recognize her from anchoring on CNN, CNBC, and Bloomberg.
The only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand.
The cold lappin'.
As you know, every Friday we talk with a celebrity, a public figure making change in every sense of the word.
And along the way has been in,
or is still, in money rehab. So today I'm talking with Paige Adams Geller.
Paige started her self-titled clothing brand, Paige. I'm sure you've seen it, or worn it,
or both. She is smart, talented, she's a total boss bitch kicking ass. But her journey to get
where she is now has been difficult. When it came
to starting her career, she was confronted with two ghosts, the memory of her family filing
bankruptcy and her sexual assault. Money is linked to every part of our lives, and it can really
affect our ability to feel in control of what's happening around us. I've found that money can
either empower someone to heal from trauma or
stall the process. So today I wanted to talk with Paige about how she worked through her trauma,
literally and figuratively, and what advice she would give anyone else who has their own
financial ghosts to confront. Paige, welcome to Money Rehab. Thank you so much. So in the beginning of our episodes, we do a quick round of money
rehab. Never have I ever. You got it. I'll ask you a question about your finances and you can
tell me if you have or you haven't made this money move. All right. Never have I ever sold a stock.
All right. Never have I ever sold a stock. Never. You haven't? You just keep them long term? Yes.
We invest very safely and things have been going well. So we've been keeping them the way they are.
So, so far, so good. Rich bitch. Never have I ever played the lottery? No, I've never played the lottery. Never have I ever written a will or trust?
I have.
Like a boss.
Never have I ever pitched an investor?
I have definitely pitched an investor.
Successfully?
Successfully.
So grateful.
And that's how Paige was started, partially.
You spend my money, money, money. So that's how Paige was started, partially.
So tell me how Paige was started.
I had been working in the industry in LA, in the entertainment industry,
singing and modeling and acting and doing a bunch of different things. And I also thought that I might be a talk show host someday. So that was my major in college was
communications and broadcast journalism. But before I was going down that route, I was singing,
acting and modeling and doing all different kinds of things. And long story short, it ended up being
an industry that wasn't very healthy for me due to a lot of different things that happened in my
life. And I ended up going to speak to a
life coach when I had hit rock bottom and really needed to get some help. And through all the
questions she asked me, she said, Oh my God, you love empowering women. You love fashion.
You've worked so long also as a fit model that you know everything on the inside of the industry.
It's like you've taken Fashion 101 as your work on
a daily basis. And she's like, what if you were to start your own company? And what would that
look like if you had your own fashion company? And so I came home, my wheels started spinning,
and it was that aha moment. I didn't think I could do it because I didn't go to business school.
It was that aha moment.
I didn't think I could do it because I didn't go to business school.
I had never started my own company, but that OMG aha moment happened.
And I was like, this seems like everything that I love wrapped up into one package.
And we launched the first capsule of Paige at the Coterie Trade Show in September 2004.
It happened in warp speed and I've never looked back.
You have long inspired me as an entrepreneur, as a philanthropist, as an advocate for women.
You've been so open and talking about your eating disorder. You've been open about sexual assault. Your father went through bankruptcy. A lot of us have financial traumas, but we don't
know that those are financial traumas. And sometimes those can stand in the way of us have financial traumas, but we don't know that those are financial traumas.
And sometimes those can stand in the way of us getting to the other side of that.
It's kind of crazy.
A lot of people think that, oh, you know, how did she start a business?
You have to have money.
And how did this actually, how did this happen?
You know, maybe she married somebody wealthy and this and that and all of those noises that we hear. And I grew up in Alaska in a little tiny town in the middle of nowhere.
My parents were entrepreneurs and the economy crashed in Alaska because of the oil industry.
And the little town that I grew up in, everyone everyone basically went bankrupt and there was nothing that my
parents could do. And this was right when I was starting school at USC and I was 16 years old.
I graduated high school young. And, um, I'll never forget my parents saying that we lost our home in
Alaska, that I wasn't going to be going back and that I couldn't stay at school
at USC anymore because they couldn't afford it. And everything just came crashing down. And I was
like, oh my God, but my education is everything to me. Like I need to be in school. I love USC.
This is the perfect place for me. What am I going to do? And I quickly applied for all of the different kinds of scholarships
that I could apply for. And luckily, I was able to stay at USC on academic scholarship
and get some student loans that I needed just for my cost of living, guaranteed student loans.
And that, though, was the beginning of me learning about being frugal with money,
the beginning of me learning about being frugal with money, figuring out ways of finding money when I needed to find it. And my father went through such a bitter depression and was so,
I think his confidence was just demolished. And he felt that he wasn't the father that he always
wanted to be. And I realized at that moment in time too, that I never wanted to depend on a man for money. Yes. And I'm like, if I'm going to do this, I need to do this myself.
And I'm going to be successful no matter what I do and be self-reliant. So it was a big learning
and a big trauma, but something life-changing. But I don't know if I would be where I am today
if I hadn't had that experience. So
I'm not going to look back and say I wish it didn't happen because I'm proud of everything
I learned in that process. Well, I have chills. I didn't live through it, of course, but I've
had my own financial trauma. I remember, you know, not being able to flush the toilet unless it was
number two to save on water growing up or turn
off the lights to save on electricity bills. And recently my partner was like, why do you leave the
lights on all the time? And I'm like, because I can now. And I didn't actually realize that that
had such an effect on me. But it's natural because it is a trauma. And a lot of times
traumas that happen reoccur to us throughout our lives.
Yeah. And it's so important to figure out what those triggers are because it's not
that they never come back. It's that you can recognize them when they do. And I'm assuming
that that was just on steroids as a entrepreneur or as you were growing your business.
My biggest fear and trauma with,
with becoming an entrepreneur was that I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. And like,
I don't know what I'm doing. And, you know, I think some of the other traumas that,
that affected me along the way too, is eating disorder is a common aftermath of being a
survivor of rape because, you know, some people overeat, some people
want to disappear. And I wanted to disappear. I can find sometimes, you know, when I'm really
stressed out that I can go back into some of those control issues and really want to try to
control everything. And that's an aftermath of this. And it's going to be something that I'll
battle with for the rest of my life.
But luckily, most of the time, almost all the time,
I'm completely in a healthy state
because I've done so much work.
But that affects my business too
because I still try on all the clothes
and I want to make sure that things fit right.
And I always want to keep my weight in check
and stay healthy.
So, but that's another thing that can come back to haunt me
if I'm not
being mindful and taking care of myself. We'll be right back for some more money rehab.
Now for some more money rehab. I have a girlfriend who's an entrepreneur and she was also a victim
of sexual assault and something reopened the case and she was triggered and she felt like
she could compartmentalize, leave that at home. And she found herself in her office, like having
this total trauma response, hiding behind a chair. She didn't even understand that it was connected,
but she just assumed that that was my personal life and this is my work life and they're separate, but they're not. They're not. No, they're so not. You know, I was a victim of a survivor, let's say a survivor of
rape at the age of 16. And it was a secret that I kept and didn't tell anyone for 13 years. And
what I can tell about that part of my story
and what I do want to share is a reoccurring trauma that I have
and trigger that I have is after the assault and before the assault,
I was stalked and my phone in my room would ring repeatedly by this person
and it would just ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring
because it was its own phone number. My parents didn't know and I'd unplug the phone and didn't want to listen to it. It
happened before the rape and after the rape. And to this day, my phone is almost always on silent
because I can't stand the sound of phones ringing too much. Like it really makes me uncomfortable.
too much. Like it really makes me uncomfortable. And you know, some of, some of that, you know,
is it are some of the things that affect me in business because people be like, why do you never have your phone on? Like, why do you like, I was trying to reach you. And it's like,
Hey, you know what? I'm going to pay attention to the task at hand. When I'm ready to answer
phone calls, I'll look at my phone and see who's called me or text me and then go back to what I'm
doing in the present moment. But that's how I work best. I can't handle that. It just can't. And I can't
still. But hey, it's okay because it hasn't stopped me from being able to manage my business.
Yeah. It sounds like you've created great boundaries and it's not like you have to
tell people, hey, I'm turning off my phone because of this. It's like none of your business. I'm turning off my phone. That is my boundary. I am Paige. My name is on your jeans.
You're welcome. And, you know, you sort of learn how to dance with a limp like it never really
goes away. And, you know, just we all have something. And I think the only problem we
can't fix is the one we don't admit we have. That is so true. Secrets make you sick. And if you keep it inside and you don't admit it,
it's going to just show up in all manifest in all different kinds of nasty ways,
like imposter syndrome. And that's a scary feeling. It's like going down that rabbit hole
of self-doubt. And I would say it out loud and talk about it. I mean,
sometimes I wouldn't. Sometimes I go through the uncomfortable ickiness of feeling like shit for a
while and then going, okay, I got to get out of this. This is ridiculous. I'm in my head too much.
I am obsessing. I am going down a slippery slope and this isn't healthy. And so I got to get this off my chest.
And so I would ask for help, speak out loud, talk about it. And, you know, it would be so funny
because even if I talked to some of the most successful people I know, they'd be like,
oh my God, I think I feel like that every single day. Are you kidding? And then as soon as you hear
that, you're like, oh, whoa, I feel so much better.
Like you, you really, you really feel that way. And then it's like, oh, okay. I'm not alone.
This is natural. This is part of the process. We're all going to have these feelings of
insecurity and doubt. Totally. A hundred percent. I think that everybody has that mean girl or that
mean guy inside their head,
no matter what level of success you're at, no matter how many zeros are in your bank account.
And I think it's just recognizing that they're there saying, hey, what's up, when they come up
at weird times, like, hey, imposter syndrome, nice to see you again. I remember what you're like,
hey, bankruptcy trauma, what's up? Like,
you're going to be here for a little while. And I have to remember to be kind and loving
towards myself and say that it's okay to feel this way and then, you know, press on. But yeah,
those monsters come in, they still come in. And I just have to tell them they're not invited.
And then I'll listen to the Alanis Morissette song, You're Uninvited.
How have you worked through some of that?
A lot of therapy.
And I'm proud to say it.
You know, I've been in therapy for 20 some odd years now.
I really think that it's important to get things off your chest and really talk through
things.
If you can't understand what's going on when you're feeling certain feelings to have that professional be able to go, but that's your little
girl. That's your trauma. That's happening again. And this is a pattern and let's work on getting
you through the other side. So therapies helped me a lot. And I definitely do a lot of meditation
and get out in nature and hike. I'll listen to some podcasts. I'll, you know,
do anything that I can do to kind of get out of my head. And music is another great way I get out
of my head. You know, I've got different playlists for, you know, like I'm sure everybody does for
every different kind of mood you could be in. But like, you know, if I've got a scary bank meeting
or something that I need to like get ready for, it's like I'm going to play my power list,
like my powerful diva songs that make me feel It's like I'm going to play my power list,
like my powerful diva songs that make me feel badass. And I'm going to walk in there and ask for what I need and be strong. Yeah. So your own little pregame,
it's like your own little rocky stairs that you're doing.
Oh, I love that.
It really does change. If you're in this funk, there are skills that you can learn to get you
out of your funk. It's not like you're alone. We all get in funks, there are skills that you can learn to get you out of your funk.
It's not like you're alone.
We all get in funks, but we can learn these skills to get us out of them.
Yeah.
The one thing I would want to say is I am just so proud of our team that we've built.
I want to say thank you to everyone who's been a part of PAGE for these 17 years and
who's believed in PAGE Paige for these 17 years and who's believed in Paige for these almost 17 years.
To anyone else listening, I just want you to know that you have the power to do this.
Like I'm a little small town girl from the middle of nowhere in Alaska
who didn't know anything about the fashion business,
didn't go to business school and figured it out.
So if I can, you can too.
And I can't wait for the next 17 years. Here's a tip from
Paige you can take straight to the bank. If you're working through a trauma, maybe it's a financial
trauma, maybe it's a personal trauma, no matter what it is, be actively aware of what makes you
feel powerful. For Paige, starting a business made her feel empowered. And even sharing her anxieties
about business with other founders made her feel more confident because she realized that all founders struggle with anxiety.
Maybe that will work for you.
Or maybe you're not ready to share your anxieties with the world.
Maybe take another page out of Paige's book and make yourself a pump-up jams playlist instead.
and make yourself a pump-up jams playlist instead.
Money Rehab is a production of iHeartMedia.
I'm your host, Nicole Lappin.
Our producers are Morgan Lavoie and Catherine Law.
Money Rehab is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert with help from Josh Fisher.
Executive producers are Mangesh Hatikader and Will Pearson.
Huge thanks to the OG Money Rehab supervising producer, Michelle Lanz, for her pre-production and development work.
And as always, thanks to you for finally investing in yourself so that you can get it together and get it all. Bye.