Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin - Change Maker - Talia Goldstein, Founder, on Fundraising while Pregnant and Matchmaking

Episode Date: August 13, 2021

Talia Goldstein founded the company Three Day Rule: a matchmaking company that gets a special endorsement from Ms. Money Rehab herself. Learn why in today’s episode! Plus, Talia gives us her best tips on having tough money talks with your romantic partner.

One of the most stressful periods of my life was when I was in credit card debt. I got to a point where I just knew that I had to get it under control for my financial future and also for my mental health. We've all hit a point where we've realized it was time to make some serious money moves. So take control of your finances by using a Chime checking account with features like no maintenance fees, fee-free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Learn more at Chime.com slash MNN. When you check out Chime, you'll see that you can overdraft up to $200 with no fees. If you're an OG listener, you know about my infamous $35 overdraft fee that

I got from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it. If I had Chime back then, that wouldn't even be a story. Make your fall finances a little greener by working toward your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in just two minutes at Chime.com slash MNN. That's Chime.com slash MNN. Chime. Feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. Members FDIC. Spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Boosts are available to eligible Chime members enrolled in Spot me and are subject to monthly limits.

Terms and conditions apply. Go to Chime.com slash disclosures for details. Wall Street has been completely upended by an unlikely player. Game stop. And should I have a 401k? You don't do it? No, I never do it. You think the whole world revolves around you and your money.

Well, it doesn't. Charge for wasting our time. I will take a check. Like an old school check. You recognize her from anchoring on CNN, CNBC, and Bloomberg. The only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. Nicole Lappin. As you know, we talk with public figures making change in every sense of the word,

and along the way have been in or might still be in money rehab. Today, we're talking to Talia Goldstein, founder of the matchmaking company, The Three Day Rule. And spoiler alert, Talia actually played Cupid for me and introduced me to my boyfriend, so I can confirm firsthand that she is really good at her job. 10 out of 10 would recommend to a friend. I've gotten to know Talia's story and the highs and lows she's had with her business. I think the story is one that many up-and-coming entrepreneurs can benefit from. Plus, she throws in a few extra tips for all of you wannabe lovebirds out there. So let's get into it. Talia, welcome to Money Rehab.

Before we dive in, though, we do a quick round of Money Rehab Never Have I Ever. If you've done something, just say, I have. And if you haven't, just say you haven't. I'm ready. Never have I ever maxed out a credit card. I have. Never have I ever fallen for a scam. I haven't. Never have I ever lost a credit card.

Never. I have never. Never have I ever taken out a student loan. I have never. Never have I ever taken out a student loan. I have never. Never have I ever run a lemonade stand. I have. Yay! That's so cute. Never have I ever ended a relationship because of money. I have. And I'm sure you've heard of other people who have. Definitely. Quite the conflict in relationships. Quite the conflict.

The number one cause of divorce, which we will dig into. Never have I ever pitched an investor. I have. Never have I ever pitched an investor while I was pregnant. I have. Tell me about what it was like pitching investors while you were pregnant because in my mind i would think it would be exactly the same as if you weren't pregnant or if you were a dude but in reality that's not really the case right and i actually did it twice so one time i was

pregnant and hid it and another time i was pregnant and hid it. And another time I was pregnant and did not hide it. So I had two different experiences. The first time, the reason why I hid it is I read this blog by a prolific angel investor. And he talked openly about how he felt uncomfortable investing in a pregnant CEO. And that really scared me. And so I kept it to myself. I actually didn't tell my co-founder at the time because I was nervous she would walk in and not feel confident because I was pregnant. I kept it to myself. I wore trench coats and giant sweaters and it was 90 degrees outside. Nobody knew I was pregnant. I know. And we raised money and it was relatively easy to do so.

The next time I was pregnant and went to go raise, I decided not to hide it. I thought, this is crazy. We can do it all. And I rocked my bump and it was really hard to raise. I had a lot of investors say to me, I'm really interested in your business. Why don't you have the baby and we'll connect after. And I even had a group of older men ask me to stand up and twirl around and show my belly. Stop it. One investor called me jokingly a bad mama because I said, I'm going to have my baby and I can circle back with you the next day. So I, it was, it was so different than the first time around. And the people who gave me money either did it over the phone, not seeing me visibly pregnant

or after I had the baby. So that was years ago at this point. It was five or six years ago. I do think we made a lot of progress. At the time, I actually didn't pitch to any women. So that may have been different, but it was challenging. I think we're making progress, but there's still a long way to go. This breaks my heart. This actually makes me want to cry. And I actually can hear it from you too, that you wanted it to be different.

Like you went in thinking it would be sort of a non-issue, but you know, that's just not what happened. Exactly. And I kept thinking to myself, yes, I, and I already had a child. So this is my second child. I said, I have babies at home, but I also have 50 babies that I take care of at work. I'm not going to let them down. I'm going to work as hard as I can to make sure that this company is successful. So there was zero doubt in my mind that I could do it all. And I think it's such an important message for women in general. These things are not mutually exclusive. You can be a mother and a founder and raise money. We just need more and more role models, which I do think we're getting now. Do you think it's just because investors thought you wouldn't work as hard,

because you would take time off? Because why? Yes. I think it's the unknown that scares them. What if something happens when you have the child? What if there's a health issue and you're the founder and the face of the company? So I think it's the unknowns that make them nervous. How many rounds did you do? Did you even think you were going to raise money when you started the company? I wasn't sure early on, but we ended up raising a seed round. And that helped us to bring on a technical co-founder. That's what we were looking for at the time. And then we raised a strategic round for Match, the dating company. And actually, what happened was we thought a deal was going to

go through with Match. And so I planned my pregnancy for that time. And at the last minute, the deal didn't go through. And so I was stuck fundraising and I wasn't expecting to. So while I had planned my pregnancy, I didn't plan to fundraise, but we did raise a round after Match, sort of a venture round. And in 2019, the company was acquired. I have had female friends who have raised money or done different pitches while pregnant as well. And there was almost like this idea that they were, they were like, I'm fine. Like, they're like, do you need to sit down? Do you need, like, no, I'm just pregnant. This is what happens.

Billions of people have done this. And why do you think there is that perception? I really don't know, but it is so ridiculous. I mean, I was telling investors, hey, you know, I talked to them on Friday. Hey, by the way, I'm having a baby on Tuesday, but I'll get back in touch with you on Wednesday. It's fine. I can still email you after I have a

child. I don't know why that perception is the way it is. But what ended up happening with me is I had to close the round and they give you this contraption in the hospital to strap in all your organs. So I strapped it on and I went and closed the rest of the round. But I don't know. Women are amazing. I always say a determined woman is unstoppable. We can do anything. So just believe in us. Absolutely. On my show Hatched, we actually had a pitch by this woman who started Edible. I will never forget her. I think I put her in boss bitch because she was the ultimate boss bitch. She came and she pitched the panel of investors on her due date. The next day was the day where the product was tested in retail. It was all consumer products. She gave birth. And then the next day, she came back on the show to get her

final decision. And the investors on the show, we were like, obviously, we're going to invest in you. Like if you're doing this, there's nothing you can't do. Right. And nobody ever asks the partner. You know, nobody, they don't get any questions. It's all the women. Hold on to your wallets, boys and girls. Money Rehab will be right back.

One of the most stressful periods of my life was when I was in credit card debt. I got to a point where I just knew that I had to get it under control for my financial future and also for my mental health. We've all hit a point where we've realized it was time to make some serious money moves. So take control of your finances by using a Chime checking account with features like no maintenance fees, fee-free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Learn more at Chime.com slash MNN. When you check out Chime, you'll see that you can overdraft up to $200 with no fees. If you're an OG listener, you know about my infamous $35 overdraft fee that I got from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it. If I had Chime back then,

that wouldn't even be a story. Make your fall finances a little greener by working toward your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in just two minutes at Chime.com slash MNN. That's Chime.com slash MNN. Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. Members FDIC. SpotMe eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply boosts are available to eligible chime members enrolled in spot me and are subject to monthly limits terms and conditions apply go to chime.com slash disclosures for details now for some more money rehab so then fast forward six or seven years later, you meet this woman named Nicole Lappin. And she is single and kind of ready to mingle, but unsure.

And we have this great talk. We were introduced by mutual friends. And I think, as I remember it, you had somebody that you wanted to introduce me to, who was an existing client. And then we chatted on the phone and got to know each other. And you were like, you know, I don't think you're a match for this guy, but I'll put you in this database. And if you fit somebody else's criteria, I'll call you. And I was like, Talia, fit somebody else's criteria, I'll call you. And I was like, Talia, Nicole Labban does not belong in this database. I am not a database kind of gal. And also, I want to tell you what I want, although I didn't totally know at the time. And so I then became a fast client. I didn't expect

to do that when we talked, but I also believed in you and still believe in you and your passion and the business and what you guys do. And you do it remarkably well. And fast forward about a month later, then I meet the investor that you just talked about. Did you come up with this plot? Can you tell me the behind the scenes? Well, I'm always, my wheels are always turning. And so I had him in mind. And he's an interesting one because he is someone who's always been focused on his career and had a plan. He needed someone very special. And so it wasn't until I met you that I knew this was at least someone to put in front of him. And so I suggested to Lisa, who you're working with, to reach out to him and see where he's at at the moment. And she did. She interviewed

him. And he was so excited. I mean, I think he knew 100%. He was so excited before he even met you. And the rest is history. I was thinking about it today because it must have been around February 1st that you met. Because I think you had a date or two... You were a date or two in on my birthday. And I was in Lake Arrowhead. And I couldn't sleep that night because I was just thinking about you two. And I couldn't wait to hear what happened.

And I got a text the next morning that everything went well. And it was the best birthday gift I could have asked for. sleep that night because I was just thinking about you two and I couldn't wait to hear what happened. And I got a text the next morning that everything went well and it was the best birthday gift I could have. Oh, and it was, and I saw you on my birthday and it was best birthday gift I could have asked for, for sure. Uh, I sometimes joke with him saying like you invested in Talia so you could get the, the right of first refusal on all the best ladies out there. You got the best of the best. That's for sure. Tell me about how money plays into relationships. We touched on that a little bit in the beginning, but I've written about it. We talk about it on the show a lot. What do you think the main issues around finances and couples are? Where do you think they stem?

Well, money is so personal and so different for everyone. So I think you can end up in a happy relationship with someone who doesn't necessarily have your financial lifestyle. But the important thing is to actually get to know the person and why they have the habits that they do. So a lot of times we make assumptions and we don't really know the full story. So if you are in a relationship early on, and as you get closer to the person, it's so helpful to understand why they save or don't save or they have the many habits that they do. And it will end up making a lot more sense to you. I think couples who are curious and ask those questions end up being more successful because it's easier to compromise when you understand the full backstory.

And how do you recommend couples have those conversations? Because they can be super tricky. Yes, they can. And so personal and vulnerable, but it is important to have them. And it's helpful to just start early on asking questions. Even in the first handful of dates, you can ask silly, fun questions. If you $10,000 fell into your lap, how would you spend the money? And then you have a sense of would they choose to travel? Would they buy it on a fancy watch? It's asking questions just to get a general idea. How did your grandparents feel about money? Or what did your parents do for a living? Or even questions like,

what is your most painful money memory that you had as a kid? Or what was the happiest money memory that you had as a kid? We're not asking people, how much money do you make? And how much is your net worth? It's just getting a sense of how they even think about money and sharing so that when the conversations do come up, you have that information.

It's scary. It's such an uncomfortable conversation to have. Even to figure out when you get married, do you combine bank accounts? Do you each have your own? And I don't think anyone, maybe the two of you like to have these conversations, but you're better off having them early on so that you are not caught by surprise later. Hi. You have no idea how happy this makes me. There was Joe and our doggy. Fast forward from our first date

around your birthday. We never left each other since then and could not be more grateful to you. And I know you have all the publicists perhaps in press, but we are just consider your number one fans and ad hoc publicists. And we moved in really quickly. And as you heard on the show, I talked about miscarriage that we had. And of course, it was an emotional experience, but it also made us realize, because we're both very mission-driven people, that not a lot of folks can have the luxury of taking leave like we did. I remember Joe got off the phone immediately and we took the day off. We took the next couple days off. And I put out an episode about that. And then you so kindly, as you often do, wrote me a note about that. I heard the episode and I really felt for the two of you.

And it was heartbreaking to hear. And at the same time, it dawned on me that what I was doing as a leader wasn't enough. It actually never crossed my mind to have a formal policy around this until I heard your episode. And previously what we would do... I have a company of mostly women and a lot of them have babies or are trying to get pregnant. And in some cases, they've had miscarriages and we knew about it. And what we would do was empathize and tell them we're here if they need anything. And usually they would take a day off or maybe check in on email half day the next day. But after hearing the episode, I realized

that really was not enough. And what we should be doing is encouraging them to take time and heal and let them know it's okay to process. And so we changed our policy at 3D Rule. And we now have a new policy where we give them a week off. And if they need more time to let us know, and that way they can focus on themselves. And it really gives them the permission to take time off without feeling guilty. Because at the end of the day, health is the most important thing. And we want happy and healthy employees. And we want to make sure that they feel that they can take time off to grieve and whatever they need. So we implemented that.

And then it also brought up parent leave and sick child leave. And so we ended up adding that on as well so that if you are a mom with a child who's sick at home, you can take a handful of days off and just focus on your child or be with a parent and not feel like you have to check in and juggle it all because it's hard. I've done that before. I've juggled it all. And we shouldn't have to choose between a family member in need or ourselves and work. So we implemented all of that. And I'm so grateful to you for even talking about it publicly because I think it's a really important conversation that I really hadn't heard before. For today's tip, you can take straight to

the bank. If you run a business or want to start your own business, you need to be hyper aware that your employees will go through different life experiences, experiences that you may never go through yourself. To be a true leader, you need to be proactive and anticipate what needs your team may have because not all of your employees will feel comfortable asking the big boss for help. So enact miscarriage leave,

add mental health days into your policy. Your team will be stronger and your employees will have your back if you have theirs. Money Rehab is a production of iHeartMedia. I'm your host, Nicole Lappin. Our producers are Morgan Lavoie and Catherine Law. Money Rehab is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert with help from Josh Fisher. Executive producers are Mangesh Hatikadur and Will Pearson. Huge thanks to the OG Money Rehab supervising producer, Michelle Lanz, for her pre-production and development work. And as always, thanks to you for finally investing in yourself so that you can get it together and get it all.