Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin - Encore: Say "I do" to a Wedding Spending Plan

Episode Date: April 26, 2024

Originally aired July 28th, 2021 Nicole breaks down the Money Rehab wedding budget and tells you how to save $$$!

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day. For some of you, it might be the day you've always dreamed about for your entire life. And why shouldn't you? It's a huge celebration. I mean, the fact that you have all your loved ones in one room together is enough to get your serotonin pumping. Plus, you know, all that love and all that jazz, add in some cake and some champagne, some more champagne. I mean, it all sounds like a dream, but dreams have price tags. And in the case of weddings, it's a pretty big price tag. This week, we got a question from Megan. Hey, Nicole, I listened to one of your listener intervention episodes, the one with Morgan and the wedding, and it felt very familiar. I'm engaged, but we haven't started seriously thinking about our wedding yet. I mean,

I have been thinking about it. I've been dreaming about my wedding forever. And I just have this picture of it in my head with all of my family and friends and cousins. And, you know, I get to wear the white dress and I, you know, there's a gigantic cake and a band. And I don't want to lose that, but I'm also in some debt and I'm just starting to get anxious about it. So how do I get my dream wedding, but on a budget? Thank you. And if you missed it, here is the episode Megan was referring to. Okay. So let me get this straight. So you have $16,000 in credit card debt. You have $17,000 in student loans, even $20,000 in credit card debt. You have $17,000 in student loans. You have a $20,000 wedding coming up. Yes.

You have how much in savings? I think it's about $3,000. And how much do you owe on the wedding? I believe $12,000 more. I believe 12 more thousand. Trust me, I never in my life thought I would tell anyone to cancel their wedding. I am a romantic. I told you I was initially a poetry major.

I love love. I'm a Pisces. The man is a cancer. We live by the beach. We just live in our feelings all the time. There is no part of me that wants to rain on anyone's wedding parade. But I will play bad cop if that means protecting your future self from a boatload of debt that will make you sink. The wedding industry is a multi-billion dollar industry, and the wedding stories we grow up with aren't stories of people buying used wedding dresses or making the wedding cake themselves. No, no, we see weddings like Meghan

Markle and Prince Harry's in a freaking castle-like church situation, and movies like The Father of the Bride where the tool and the swans are everywhere, not to mention extravagant TV shows like Say Yes to the Dress or Four Weddings. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian reportedly spent $2.8 million on their wedding, and Kim's custom Givenchy gown cost an estimated $500,000. Obviously, the amount of money you spend on a fairytale wedding doesn't guarantee the health of the actual marriage because the Kardashian-Wests are no longer living happily ever after. I thought that Kimye's wedding had to be the record breaker, but no. George Clooney and Amal Amuddin's wedding was around $4.6 million, with a cool $3 million-ish going to hotels for guests and Amal's Oscar de la Renta dress clocking in at around $400,000. Okay, so obviously we're living on a different planet from the Cloonies and the Kardashians.

But even for us, wedding costs are high. Let's focus only on the reception. I'm going to reference the costs of weddings in 2019 because the cost of weddings in 2020 dropped. I know, what a plot twist, right? A year where people had less disposable income and couldn't gather in large numbers led to lower costs of weddings. Shocking. And just a side note here, the wedding industry is definitely stuck in the past. Most of the information you'll see online assumes that at your wedding, there is a bride in a white dress who is marrying a guy in a suit. We all know that that is not the case for every wedding. There could be two brides. There could be two grooms.

Maybe there are two wedding dresses. Maybe there are zero. I decided to use the information from experts in the wedding space exactly as they frame it, and they do frame it in a very heteronormative way. And I'm using that not because I agree with it, but for readability, just like I do in my books or listenability in this show. But I will note that sometimes these experts do make assumptions about who is tying the knot. Make no mistake, the only time I will object to anything in your wedding is when your budget is more than you can afford. In every other aspect, I support you a thousand percent. Whatever your relationship looks like, whatever your wedding looks like, not that you need it, but you have my blessing. Love is love and that is priceless. Anyway, experts project that 2021 wedding costs will rebound to what they were in 2019,

if not higher. So let's take a look at the 2019 numbers. According to WeddingWire, the average cost of a wedding reception per couple was around $28,000. Although I'd venture to say it was probably a little higher because according to The Knot, here are the average costs involved with a wedding reception. Buckle up because it's a long one. $10,500 for a reception venue. $2,400 for a photographer. $1,800 for a videographer. $2,000 for a florist. $1,600 for a wedding dress, $3,700 for a wedding band,

$1,200 for a reception DJ, $70 per person for catering, and the average wedding in 2019 had 131 guests. I guess it's an odd number because of all the singles who want to go home, or at least go to bed, with a new plus one. And that brings the total cost of food to $9,170. The rehearsal dinner costs, on average, $1,900. $590 for the invitations. $110 for the hairstylist. $100 for the makeup artist. $400 for the party favors. And last but certainly not least, $500 for the cake. That is a total of $35,970. To put that into perspective, that's a lot more than the down payment on a $175,000 house or tuition for a year and a half at Florida State University. It's a huge chunk of change. And again, I would

still argue that those estimates are probably low. I mean, shout out to the bride who's spending 110 bucks on a hairstylist, but if you're living in LA, you're probably spending five times that amount. Which brings me to an important point. Of course, these averages vary widely depending on factors like location, what time of year, and even what day of the week it is you're tying the knot. So let's take a look at these factors and rehab this budget, starting with the cost of a venue. You can save big on looking at a date that's always the bridesmaid, never the bride, so to speak. You know, when you get to the age where all your friends are getting married and all of a sudden you don't have a Saturday free in the summer? Yeah, everyone's trying to get married

on a weekend in the summer. Think about a fall wedding or even a weekday wedding. Say it isn't so, but it's cheaper. If you give your friends and family enough lead time, they could probably make a Thursday evening work. They may even be able to take a Friday off if they want to plan for that inevitable hangover. Now, I know you might be envisioning getting married in a rustic barn or an igloo or maybe you're the larger thanlife type and want to get married in the crown of the Statue of Liberty. But going with an established, actual wedding venue will likely save you big. A traditional venue will spare you the cost and headache of covering the essentials like tables, linens, champagne flutes, salad forks, you name it. Plus, I don't know about you,

but if you've never planned a wedding before, nonetheless hadks, you name it. Plus, I don't know about you, but if you've never planned a wedding before, nonetheless had a wedding yourself, it's pretty comforting to lean on a venue who already has some receptions under its belt. You don't want to be waking up at 2 a.m. the night before your wedding and thinking, fuck, I forgot to order chairs. Hold on to your wallets, boys and girls. Money rehab will be right back. Now for some more money rehab. Next, the dress. You know the old wedding tradition that you need something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. Well, I'd recommend making your wedding dress blue. Just kidding. I would recommend making your wedding dress something old or something borrowed. The boys are renting their wedding vest, so ladies, you can too. I know it's different with a wedding dress, and I know you want to keep it forever and always, but honestly,

isn't that what the photos are for? Like, what are you ever going to wear it again? And if you want to keep your dress forever and ever, or if you even just don't trust yourself to go barefoot on the dress floor and be able to return your dress in the pearly white condition, think about buying your dress used. Also, a note to bridesmaids, let me debunk a lie you have been told. Oh, you can just cut the bottom off and wear it again. Trust me, you can't and you won't. cut the bottom off and wear it again. Trust me, you can't and you won't. So say yes to renting the dress. Next, you don't need a wedding band and you certainly don't need a DJ. Full stop. I'm sorry, I'm not going to let you shell out a couple grand to someone who just put together a Spotify playlist and will probably add some songs that no one wants to hear for the 600th time and might

not even honor your strong recommendation to play Whitney Houston five times, um, no thank you. Do it yourself. Call me, DJ Money Rehab. Another thing you don't need? Invitations. Seriously, I know you want something that people will put on their fridge, but that's all for show. The only save the date that matters is the one that people are putting into their calendars on their phones. So just send them an e-vite or a calendar invitation. For a wedding photographer, reach out to the photography club at a nearby college or even

high school. If you tell a 17-year-old aspiring photographer that you'll pay them 300 bucks and a piece of cake for their work, they'll flip. Next, the flowers. Of course, they do make the wedding look picture perfect, but when you really think about it, you're spending thousands of dollars on something that's going to die tomorrow. Sorry to be Debbie Downer. Can you imagine investing a couple grand in a company that you know is going to go bust tomorrow? I don't think so. There are a few companies that make really beautiful alternatives to live flowers that are a fraction of the cost, like painted wood flowers from the brand Sola that are stunning, and you can keep them forever. You can even give them to

guests as party favors. Two birds, one stone, happy budget. Here's another hot tip. Wedding planner Onike Hartman recommends asking your wedding venue if there's a wedding booked the day before or after yours. If so, you may be able to split the cost of flowers with the couple you're venue-twinning with. The biggest cost, as you noticed in the breakdown, is the food. The answer solution here? Go for a buffet. I read that depending on a caterer, you could save anywhere from $1,500 to $3,000 per 100

guests, and you often get more food for the amount you pay compared to a plated dinner. But the fastest way to save on food? Invite less people to feed. Narrow your guest list to 70 people and only offer plus ones where it really makes sense. That friend who is perpetually in love with a new person every three months? Nope, they don't get a plus one. It's your freaking wedding. You decide. Sorry not sorry to show my bad wedding cop again, but you don't have to pay for her chicken if you're going to be cropping her out of all the photos in the next six months. NerdWallet has a great recommendation that I love. Simplify your drink options. Offer beer and wine instead of an open bar. And if you want to throw in some hard liquor, set up a signature cocktail for the

hour before the dinner starts. Last suggestion, you should probably hire a wedding planner. I know you're surprised that I'm asking you to add an expense, but wedding planners will probably have an easier time sticking to your budget than you will, simply because it's hard to see your wedding budget objectively. You might think, why spare any expense when you're talking about love for the rest of our lives? But you're also talking about debt for the rest of your lives. A wedding planner has insights and

connections and industry discounts that you probably don't have. So let's phone a friend here. So here's the wedding money rehabbed. We're adding $1,800, which is the average cost of a wedding planner. Again, we're adding this expense because we really need an accountability buddy to help us stick to this rehabbed budget. Because we're looking at a because we really need an accountability buddy to help us stick to this rehabbed budget. Because we're looking at a less trafficked wedding date, the cost of the reception will probably go down from the initial budget. But because we're looking for a venue that's also going to be a one-stop shop for supplies, remember those chairs, we're probably not going to save a whole lot. However, because you're a badass

money rehabber these days, you're going to negotiate, right? So let's say we're talking $9,500 for a reception venue. For our up-and-coming wedding photographer, let's budget in $800 and a slice of cake. We're going to scrap the videographer because everyone's taking videos on their phones anyway, and those are probably going to be the ones you post. Anyway, let's be conservative and assume we're cutting our $2,000 flower budget in half by sharing flowers with other newlyweds, although you'd save more by going the wooden flower route. We're shooting for an $800 pre-loved wedding dress.

pre-loved wedding dress. You're inviting 100 folks max. And by going the buffet route, you're saving a couple Gs. So let's check in. Before we went to money rehab, our wedding budget was looking like $35,970. Where are we now? Post rehab? $21,510. That's $14,000 that you can take on your honeymoon. You can invest. You can get that debt monkey off your back. You're welcome. Here's a tip you can take straight to the bank. Use your registry wisely. If there are any purchases you've been planning for in your essentials, like new plates, a new blender, whatever, put them in your registry. You can even make a registry that's just a link to donate money that you can use toward any project, like getting a new roof. That sounds like happily ever after to me.

Money Rehab is a production of iHeartMedia. I'm your host, Nicole Lappin. Our producers are Morgan Lavoie and Catherine Law. Money Rehab is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert with help from Josh Fisher. Executive producers are Mangesh Hatikader and Will Pearson. Huge thanks to the OG Money Rehab supervising producer, Michelle Lanz, for her pre-production and development work. Money Rehab supervising producer, Michelle Lanz, for her pre-production and development work. And as always, thanks to you for finally investing in yourself so that you can get it together and get it all.