Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin - Funny Money That Doesn't Make Cents with Comedian Fumi Abe

Episode Date: July 15, 2024

It’s time for a new segment we're calling Funny Money, where Nicole gives bizarre headlines from business and finance, and a comedian gives their famously non-expert insight on the topic. Today, Nicole talks to the hilarious Fumi Abe. To listen to Fumi's amazing pod Cash Cuties, click here. All investing involves the risk of loss, including loss of principal. Brokerage services for US-listed, registered securities, options and bonds in a self-directed account are offered by Public Investing, Inc., member FINRA & SIPC. Public Investing offers a High-Yield Cash Account where funds from this account are automatically deposited into partner banks where they earn interest and are eligible for FDIC insurance; Public Investing is not a bank. Brokerage services for alternative assets are offered by Dalmore Group, LLC, member FINRA & SIPC. Brokerage services for treasury accounts offering 6-month T-Bills are offered by Jiko Securities, Inc., member FINRA & SIPC. Banking services are offered by Jiko Bank, a division of Mid-Central National Bank. Securities investments: Not FDIC Insured; No Bank Guarantee; May Lose Value.  Brokerage services for Regulation A securities are offered through Dalmore Group, LLC, member FINRA & SIPC. Risks at public.com/disclosures/alts-risk-and-conflict-of-interest-disclosure See public.com/#disclosures-main for more information.

I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash. But I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start, or even too complicated, if, say, you want to put your summer home in Maine on Airbnb, but you live full-time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a co-host network, which is a network of high quality local co-hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co-hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you.

I always want to line up a reservation for my house when I'm traveling for work, but sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always feels like a scramble, so I don't end up making time to make my house look guest-friendly. I guess that's the best way to put it. But I'm matching with a co-host so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself. Find a co-host at airbnb.com slash host. One of the most stressful periods of my life was when I was in credit card debt. I got to a point where I just knew that I had to get it under control for my financial future and also for my mental health. We've all hit a point where we've realized it was time to make some serious money moves. So take control of your finances by using a Chime checking account with features like no

maintenance fees, fee-free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Learn more at Chime.com slash MNN. When you check out Chime, you'll see that you can overdraft up to $200 with no fees. If you're an OG listener, you know about my infamous $35 overdraft fee that I got from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it. If I had Chime back then, that wouldn't even be a story. Make your fall finances a little greener by working toward your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in just two minutes at Chime.com slash MNN. That's Chime.com slash MNN. Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. Members FDIC. SpotMe eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Boosts are available I'm Nicole Lappin, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand.

It's time for some money rehab. It is time for a little funny business in a new segment I'm calling Funny Money, where I give bizarre headlines from business and money and a comedian gives me their famously non-expert insight on the topic. Today, my guest is the hilarious Fumi Abe. Fumi is a comedian and the co-host of the pod Cash Cuties. Before we did the funny money segment, Fumi did something so out of pocket. He actually handed his phone over to me with his banking app open and gave me free reign to dig into his banking history. This was the first time I

met him, by the way. Here's our convo. Fumiabe, welcome to Money Rehab. Thank you for having me. So excited to have you here. You host a show called Cash Cuties. Yes. Alliteration after my own heart. Money after my own heart. You analyze your friends' credit card statements.

You judge their spending habits. Yes, with love. I love this for you. And I'd love to flip the script on you. Okay. It's your game. I'm so game. So can you open your bank statement?

Yes. I use Monarch. I don't know if we're allowed to plug that brand on here, but it's like a... Well, you know, Mint went away and it caused the whole ruckus and the personal finance scene. And then so I had to find a new alternative.

So I got Monarch. So you can just look through. This is actually insane that I'm doing this seven seconds into your podcast because I don't even know you. And I feel like I just took off all my clothes. This is it feels like right now there's no financial foreplay there was so little financial foreplay i'm actually upset that i just let you have that but sure yeah yeah i didn't even have to work for it i didn't even have to take you to dinner all right let's talk about it. Yeah. What is FSG Prince?

I was in Austin. I was doing some shows in Austin and I was doing a pop-up show. FSG stands for Feel So Good. I think it's like a clothing store slash record store and they had a comedy show there and they had this cool sweatshirt that had a picture of, you know, I can't even believe I'm asking you this

because you live in a really nice neighborhood and you look so nice and I guarantee you don't know what I'm talking about. But I grew up in Ohio. I am trash. I used to drink this stuff in high school called Mad Dog 2020. Do you know what this is? Okay, it's like this really cheap liquor alcohol thing. And that was just a picture of that on it. And I thought it was cute. So I bought that. That's what it is. I bought a sweatshirt. Wow. It's called MD 2020, I bought a sweatshirt. Wow. It's called MD 2020, but we call it Mad Dog 2020. So it was 41-14.

That's with tax. But I just like the symmetry of it. Was that on purpose? What do you mean? A 41-14? Yeah. No, it's not on purpose. Well, I mean, I'm...

What do you mean? You think I'm a psycho? You think I go around only buying things where after tax it's a palindrome like that really there's a tip or something i just entertain myself okay oh are you one of those people when you're feeling gas if you hit like 39 89 you keep going until like 40 yes yes yes yes no no no this is just it just happened just happened it was just meant to be yeah but i feel like that's an okay price for a sweatshirt. Sure.

Okay. A lot of judgment. I don't know why. I just got here. Let's see. Charlie B-Day. Who's Charlie? Oh, my friend Charlie is having a birthday party at some petting zoo or something.

And so if you want to go, you have to Venmo them $30. Of course you want to go. I fully endorse that. Oh my God. What is on there? Only fans. Oh yeah. Why are you acting like that's a crazy thing? Oh my God. For a second, I was like, wait, what is on the OnlyFans? Yeah. I like to support. Uh-huh. Whose OnlyFans were you supporting for $12.99? That's so expensive. I think that's too expensive. That's more than Netflix. So I'm going to go ahead and unsubscribe after this episode, I think.

Oh, you have another OnlyFans for $10. Well, you know, that month was a tough month. You know, I said I would only buy one, but you know, you can't stop me. So I bought two. Okay, and what about we have a cash cuties fan okay so sometimes our listeners just memo us money and so that's what that is they just give you money they just memo us money people who want to give no i mean it's just we talk about on the podcast it's like hey if you want to support the podcast like memo us or whatever so yeah so it's people who like don't want to join the patreon don't

want to pay month to month they'll just give us like a one-time donation it's very sweet it's not super common but every once in a while they'll give like five bucks ten bucks twenty bucks how much would you say that fans give you a month a year you know it's funny you say that because patreon used to be like only fans it's just a platform where you can make your own art and do whatever you want with it we have a patreon it's not that pop and i think we probably make like i don't know a couple hundred bucks a month or something like that but once in a while we'll get one of these direct donations which i'm not reporting by the way and it's a good time you spend oddly a lot of money on water. Glacier water. Okay, this is so embarrassing.

And again, I can't even believe I'm in your presence right now because you live this glamorous hype life and I'm living this bottom feeder entertainment comedian vibes. But in New York, you can just drink tap water. We have the best tap water in the world. You can just drink it. LA, I keep hearing like, bro, you don't want to drink water in LA from the sink because it's like recycled plate water. And I heard you don't want to drink water from a city that has not a lot of water resources. So you should buy water.

And so a lot of people do like a subscription service. I looked it up and I'm like, man, that's kind of expensive. And I live near a Rite Aid where they have those water machines you can fill up. I take the jug and I fill it for $2.50 or however much it is. There's a lot of 50 cents. You know, ever since I've been using my Amex card, it's been 50 cents. I don't know, maybe I'm getting a discount or some sort of partnership thing with Amex, but it's usually $2.50 for five gallons, but I physically go and get water. And I feel like that is an embarrassing thing to admit in LA, but I do it. I'm into that.

How do you get your water, Nicole? How dare you judge me? You don't want to know. She gets it directly shipped by helicopter from the Alps, probably. Yeah. All right. Bumi, you have been such a good sport. Do you like soup?

Soup? Soup curry treasure. and then there's one that's just hot soup hot soup is a name of a comedy show in new york that's very popular and i got paid by them well you got paid 15 yes it was a very cheap it was just like you go up and do like 10 minutes you know this is how much comedians make money by the way every show you do it's like 10 minutes you get paid like 20 bucks okay this is such a cool concept for a show i love that you do this it is hilarious oh yeah here's the hollywood improv you got ten dollars yes isn't that sad

kids don't be comedians it's very hard so what's the craziest money confession you had on the show? The one that's always sticks out in my mind is because we are not financial experts like you, you know, you have actual smart guests on it. We just have on our dumb ass friends. And we just kind of talk about really the emotional component of money, which I feel is the thing that makes you act the way you act. And it's really not based on how much you're making. So we had a guest on who is a standup comedian. As I told you earlier, we don't make a lot of money. But when you start popping off on Instagram and you can sell tickets of your own, you can make a lot of money. And here's someone who's been doing it maybe 10 plus years, was kind of struggling for a long time, recently kind of blew up on Instagram, now is selling out comedy clubs all

over the country. He's making real money for the first time. And we had him on the podcast. And I know he's making six figures. I know that. I know he's making six figures now. But he still had like $8,000 in credit card debt or something. And I was like, I know you can pay this off. And he was like, well, I'm so used to having no money in my checking account. I like seeing the number go up. That is a illogical thing on paper. But if you know his backstory, I totally get it. And Cash Cuties, we explore things like that. It's less about investment advice and more like, why are you the way you are with your money? I thought that was a crazy confession because this guy is accruing interest every month on $8,000, which is awful. He needs to pay this off ASAP, but he can't get himself to do it because

he hasn't had money before. I totally get that, by the way. And I love what you're doing because you're getting to the heart of people's money issues. And I think the math anyone can do, all of this stuff is really easy to learn once you're ready to learn, but it's all the emotional shit that gets in the way first. By the way, I did the same thing. I grew up in an immigrant family. I used to have cash under the sink in an actual safe. I had credit card debt, but I would still put money, green cash under the sink while I had credit card debt. You did this or your parents did this? I did this. That's crazy. Yeah. I mean, these are- It's crazy. It's not rational. It's not rational. Right.

Habits aren't rational. They're loaded. They're traumatic. And I think in some ways, you having money under there probably gave you some sort of peace of mind, which allowed you to do other things like focus on work or whatever it is that you were doing. I have some other examples, but that's probably one that stands out in my head. What about your financial habits? What kind of habits do you now have versus before you started? Oh, interesting. I think the one thing that I've changed when it comes to money is, so I started comedy when I was 24, but I had a full-time job from 22 to 30. I was working in advertising. And then I quit that to, I was making TikTok

videos for Comedy Central for a little bit. That was also a full-time job. And then after that, I was writing for James Corden's show. And that was also a full-time job. So I did quit my desk job, but I continued to have a full-time thing. And then after the show ended, you're sort of just like, oh, wow, I just made all this money, but now I don't have anything lined up. Or sometimes I'm getting writing gigs, but it's like a three-week engagement. It's not full-time. So you kind of start to feel... I think it's the immigrant mentality coming in. You're like, oh my God, I have to get back to LinkedIn immediately. LinkedIn is my kryptonite. I'm always on there every time I get scared, looking at UX design

jobs or whatever it is. And I think in the last year and a half, I have learned to chill out about not necessarily having a consistent paycheck every week, because this is sort of the lifestyle that I chose. And also believing in myself that I didn't not work my entire 20s. I worked my entire 20s. I had a full-time job until I was 32 years old. So it's not like I don't have a backup plan. It's not like I don't have money saved up. It's fine.

And so I've learned to chill out a little bit about that and not worry so much about how much money I'm making every day and looking at it more holistically, like at the end of the year, how much did I make? And last year, I think I made like close to like $90,000 just doing various comedy things. Yeah, dude, I just saw your bank statements. You have money. Oh, yeah. That's crazy that I just showed you all that.

That was so personal. That's insane, by the way. Okay. Anyways, now I'm blushing. But anyways, yeah, I have some money and it's nice that if I was worried about how much money I'm making every day. Also, I have more than that because I have another account. Anyways. But it's like if you worry every week or every day as a creative, you can't focus on writing or making videos or doing podcasting, right? So I've learned to look at it more of like a yearly basis or like a long-term basis. And that's really chilled me out. So I think that's the biggest financial shift that I've had in terms of point of view. Also, I think I've just become more lax with spending stuff.

I try not to go out as much, but if there's a specific thing that I want, like shoes, and it's $200 and I'm like, I don't want to spend more than $150, but I really like it. I just go for it now. I don't have that inner monologue where it's like, well, it's too expensive. I just go for it because I'm a responsible man. I'll make it back and or I'm not spending in other areas. And I think me just believing that I'm automatically going to be financially responsible allows me to be responsible in these moments, you know. And LinkedIn's always going to be there. LinkedIn will always be there.

UX, UI. UX, UI. It's not going anywhere. Hire me. Yeah. No, you're doing great. But when was a time you needed money rehab? Do you feel like there was a bunch of bad habits that you had to kick? Oh, man. I don't think I've ever had a crazy vice, but I will say, I don't know if you've experienced this or if you've always just been extremely successful, but I think especially in comedy, like when I was working in advertising and then doing comedy at night, I was kind of like a nobody. I was making like a regular salary.

I didn't have to worry about money really. But when I got my first writing job, because writing jobs are so risky, they pay a lot of money because you may not work the whole year. And this is public information, but WGA minimum is $4,600 a week or something like that. So you work one cycle, you're going to make $50,000. You work two cycles, you're already making six figures. So that was the first time where I had a lot of money coming in, more than I ever have in my entire life and I think during that time I didn't go crazy but I did start doing things that I would not have done in the past because I didn't think I had the financial means to such as okay I don't think it's a big deal but okay I like developed this weird habit where I go to strip clubs a lot

and honestly I think I was going because I moved to LA by myself. And my girlfriend was still in New York. And I was like, I just wanted to talk to somebody. It's very hard to make friends in LA. Not that you should go to strip clubs and make friends. But I kind of just started going because I'm like, I guess I have money. I don't do drugs, really. So I don't eat drinks.

I was like, yeah, I'll just buy some cool shoes. I'll buy some Jordans and check out the strip club. There was one in West Hollywood that was like a 10 minute. I don't have a car. I would bird scooter to a strip club. I would bird scooter to a strip club, go there for like a couple hours and then go home and then go to work the next day. So that was probably like the wildest phase I had. I wasn't going like every day or anything like that. It was probably like, I don't know, once a month or something. But even then that felt like a lot to me because that's not something that i was doing a lot you know this feels like therapy and you know what i'm sensing a lot of judgment

and i don't like it nicole no i'm not judging at all i think it's awesome that you're doing this i think this is more vulnerable than anything you could possibly share so thank you for me opening up i think it'd be interesting to ask people if they would rather show naked photos or their bank statements. Oh, I think people would rather show their nudes for sure. I mean, I'm regretting showing you everything. That was crazy. I'm not. I'm stoked that you did. Hold on to your wallets. Money Rehab will be right back. I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash, Money Rehab will be right back. your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a co-host network, which is a network of high quality local co-hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co-hosts can do what

you don't have time for, like managing your reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you. I always want to line up a reservation for my house when I'm traveling for work, but sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always feels like a scramble, so I don't end up making time to make my house look guest-friendly. I guess that's the best way to put it. But I'm matching with a co-host, so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself. Find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host. One of the most stressful periods of my life was when I was in credit card debt. I got to a point where I just knew that I had to get it under control for my financial future

and also for my mental health. We've all hit a point where we've realized it was time to make some serious money moves. So take control of your finances by using a time checking account with features like no maintenance fees, fee-free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Learn more at Chime.com slash MNN. When you check out Chime, you'll see that you can overdraft up to $200 with no fees. If you're an OG listener, you know about my infamous $35 overdraft fee that I got from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it.

If I had Chime back then, that wouldn't from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it. If I had Chime back then, that wouldn't even be a story. Make your fall finances a little greener by working toward your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in just two minutes at chime.com slash MNN. That's chime.com slash MNN. Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bankancorp Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. Members FDIC. SpotMe eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Booths are available to eligible Chime members enrolled in SpotMe and are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to Chime.com slash disclosures for details. And now for some more money rehab it's time for a new segment that we're starting okay

i'm calling it funny money okay and you're the funny expert okay i'm the money expert okay so let's smush it together i'm gonna throw a few headlines your way from the worlds of business and finance and i'd love your take on them. Ready? A Citigroup banker was fired for gross misconduct after he claimed that he, by himself, had eaten two sandwiches, two coffees, and two pasta dishes during a business trip to Amsterdam. He later admitted his partner had shared some of the meals, the banker was fired, and the banker filed a wrongful dismissal suit and lost. And then they fired him over that? What are we talking? A matter of $40 maybe? I know, Citigroup. You have all the money. Citigroup? What in the world? I mean,

I used to expend stuff all the time when I worked in corporate and that was my favorite thing to do. At the end of the month, I'll look at my mint and I'd go down like my food budget and be like, hmm, what do I not want to pay for? And I would just literally pick like five things. And expense and I never got caught. Having an expense account is pretty dope. Yeah. You have to be smart with it, especially when you're like younger and you feel like your starting salary is not amazing. You're like, okay, cool. I would like a couple more thousand dollars, but if you're going to give it it to me i'll just take it in food you know i will say yes but being on the now the corporate side of it and having people have an expense account is a whole different story it's cool

when you're not paying sure sure you're not the one going through everybody's i go through all you do i thought it was like a billing department or something that did that you're being just like nosy looking at what she's buying and stuff that's messed up man that's like looking at somebody's news that's messed up yeah but city group is looking at literally this guy had two pasta dishes not one i'm not looking at like how many pasta dishes morgan had oh yeah that's true okay so if you were this guy and you were fired before expensing two meals instead of one,

and then later saying that your significant other partner was there with you and ate and then you expensed their meals too, you were fired. The banker filed a wrongful dismissal lawsuit.

He lost. Now he's out there looking for other jobs. And so a new employer is probably going to say, well, what happened? What would you say? How would you explain this story? I would judo this and make it into an advantage.

I would only apply to pasta-related industries. And so that if you're trying to be a GM at Sbarro's, you can put that on your wrist. Put that. I'm so passionate about pasta. They fired my ass. That's how much I love the pasta. You know what I'm saying? You love pasta. You love spaghetti. You're in. Use it to your advantage. Okay. An elderly woman who claims her children never visited her, even when she was old and sick, has decided to leave her $28 million dollar fortune to her cats and dogs dude people always do this and it is so messed up and i hate that it kind of makes me sad that

you think when you get older as a human you become sage like you become more wise and you're sort of a master of wisdom and all this stuff. But everybody just bit her. Everybody's petty. And it makes me sad that she didn't leave that to her. How much was it? 2.8 million. You're like, I should have bit her. God. Well, I guess there's no other... I mean, now you got to marry the cat and take half of it, I guess. That's the only way. You got to marry the cat. So I feel like that's accepted these days. Who knows? So you want to know who the cats and dogs are? So you could go.

Yeah, I would say how hot is the cat? If it's a hairless one, that's going to be hard for me. But if it's we all know a hot cat, you know what I mean? We've seen a cat and you're like, OK. I'm being serious. You want half of it or not? You want 1.4 million or not, grandkids? I'm dead.

Oh my God. A woman in Texas went viral after posting a video of an encounter with a DoorDash delivery driver who yelled at her for not tipping more. In the clip, the delivery driver named Corey tells her that she lives in a nice house for a $5 tip before yelling expletives at her. Whose side are you on? Well, do we know how much the item was?

Because, you know, if it was a $12 meal, $13 meal, $15 meal, she gets five bucks. That's more than 20%. I feel like that is fair. So what do you tip on delivery? Because also, it's the same task if they take fancy food or... Right, like the act of it is the same? You mean, is that what you're saying? Yeah, the act of it is the same.

I was trying to think of what you ordered. I saw McDonald's charge on your bank statement. Yeah, I eat McDonald's. That's okay. Yeah, it's totally fine. But what I'm saying is like, it's the same if you're taking a bag from Spago or if you're taking a bag from spago or if you're taking a bag from mcdonald's yeah to your house well okay you can't make the argument because then you're saying if you're at a restaurant a nice restaurant and a waiter you can't be like well you're just bringing the plates

over here who cares what's on the plate you know i mean i think that's a hard argument to make but i will say just tipping in general is getting out of control i'm sure you've talked about in this podcast at some point especially with the ipad tipping you know we call it non-consensual tipping it's very forced on you that's what i understand i mean i need more information i understand where the door dash guy is coming from but i also don't think cursing at the person is not chill because i think when you make it or when you become rich i think people just expect you to always flesh out money. And I think that's an incorrect assumption, right? Because depending on the background,

you don't know, you're just like everybody else. You know, you don't want to tip that much either, right? So like, I don't know. What do you think? I'm laughing because the $5 tip was a 25% tip. Wow. That's good. So this guy is just not chill.

He's entitled. So he's judging her because he wants more tip based on her house. By the way, she could have been the dog sitter staying at a nice house. That's true. I have questions. Yeah, it could have been a babysitter. You don't know me. Yeah.

Non-consensual tipping. Non-consensual tipping. Non-consensual tipping. Is like when you're at a coffee shop or something and you're presented with the option. Yes. Now, coffee shop, I understand because you should tip. It's been popping up randomly. Like, one time it popped up to me at like a tire shop or something. And I'm like, that's never been a thing since as long as I've had a car.

It's just popping up at the most random places. And I'm like, that's never been a thing since as long as I've had a card. It's just popping up at the most random places. And I don't love that. Yeah, I had a medical adjacent appointment, I would say, and it popped up there. It felt... Like, that's crazy. But also then I feel uncomfortable

when it pops up and then you put nothing. So what do you do? What do you do? Okay, so this is my technique to combat inflation and non-consensual tipping. Tipflation. I'm trying to bring back cash because I think sometimes on the iPad, they go by percentages. So a lot of times you'll buy a coffee, which these days can be up to $7. You buy like a little matcha latte or something. It's very pricey. So 20% of that is $1.40, right? So it's like $1.40,

$2, $3, whatever it might be. That's too much. So I pull out a physical dollar and I put it in the jar. Even if that's not 20%, I feel it feels like I'm giving you more because it's like a physical entity and I'm looking you in the eye as I'm tipping. So I just do that now. I just keep a bunch of wands in my wallet and I tip a dollar. If you want to tip for me, you get a dollar. No matter what it is. And it kind of feels like tip at the strip club. That's a really good question. People are not going to like what I'm

about to say, but I don't really tip at the strip club. I mean, sometimes they'll ask for it and then I'll do it. But a lot of times I don't. I mean, I don't know. That's one of those things that's not really explained to you. Some dancers will be like,

please, can I have some? But sometimes like dancers, like $30 for two minutes or maybe one minute. And I'm like, I don't know. I feel like a scooter. Yes. I'm like, literally,

I don't have a car. You're going after the wrong guy. You know? Also, at this specific place I went to, I would always wait if there's not a nice flow of people getting dances the dj would come on be like all right guys so dances are 30 a dance here but they'll do this thing they'll be like all right guys we're doing a special now

where it's 20 a dance now so it's like 60 for three i wait for that announcement i'm literally like an immigrant mom waiting for like a sale at h mart you know what i'm saying like oh the mackerel is on sale you, like I just wait for that. And then I go in. I'm like, okay, let me get this. And then I don't tip it. I scooter home. Wow.

Yeah. I'm sure all the dancers were all over you. Yeah. You got the discount lap dancing. I'm a discount lap dance guy. But can you, you know, I love a good deal. And I feel like Tonya Dance is fair. All right. Well, do you think cash feels very on brand for your show?

Yes. Cash series. I feel like defacing actual dollars is illegal, but that could be a promo for the show. Yes. All right. Let's move on. After the success of the Airbnb marketing campaign featuring the Barbie Malibu Dreamhouse property, Airbnb is doubling down on this trend and putting Shrek's swamp

on the site. It will be in the Scottish Highlands. The property is outfitted with earwax candles, overgrown landscaping, a fireplace, and comes with two beds and one bathroom. Was this a good move by Airbnb? Barbie, I get. Whoever is behind this project, they have bad taste. It is a genius idea, but why not try to replicate Elsa's castle or some estate from Scarface? I mean, Shrek is not even really a movie that's known for its real estate or anything like that. I feel like that's not why people watched it. I guess the question is, would you pay over $1,000 a night to stay in the bayou? Like, you know, it's just not.

I just don't know if that makes sense at all. I've bought a lot of stupid things. Well, I saw Airbnb on your bank statements too. Yeah, but it wasn't Shrek. Yeah. It seems like a prank almost. I just feel like there's a lot of cool places that they could replicate from movies infinite inspirations that shit is free like in new orleans pretty much so

yeah i think it's a bad move but maybe good marketing for the movie it's like there was another shrek coming out oh is that what it is is this like conspiracy theory like dreamworks is behind so speaking of shrek the release date for shrek 5 was leaked by an nbc intern when that intern posted their resume on linkedin your favorite site and listed shrek 5 2025 as a project they had worked on okay first can we not use the word leak this is not a drake album no one gives a shit about shrek's five i don't even know what's happening anymore you know what i mean like i just no one cares it's not like a supreme t-shirt it's not a drop okay no an intern leaked it no dude this is all planned because dreamworks feels like they're losing edge because no one cares about shrek shrek is becoming like

fast and furious nobody cares anymore so I feel like it's all sort of planned, calculated. There's a lot of stuff on TikTok like that where everything it looks like it's happening by chance but it's sort of

orchestrated, you know? It's like a Blair Witch Project. Exactly. When I first saw that I thought that was like a real documentary, you know? But I think this is capitalistic and I hate it so much.

How many is too many? First of all, did you know there were five Shreks? I did not you know there were five Shreks? I did not. Do we need five Shreks? I just feel like with this economy right now

and inflation, no one's got time for a fifth Shrek. I mean, where are they even going? They already got together. They beat the dragon, the donkey. They made a spinoff with the cat. There's nowhere for the story to go.

I don't know. It's very upsetting to me that there's a Shrek 5 and no one will make my pilot, which is very funny about Asian people in the Civil War. Check it out. You know, we're just out here in LA. You're in here first. NBC. NBC.

Buy my script. Don't make Shrek 5. Buy my script. Yes. All right. There's been a lawsuit filed against Dunkin' Donuts that claims that Dunkin's practices of charging extra money for non-dairy milk is discriminatory. To who?

To the people who don't drink cow milk. If you want alternative milk, it's extra. I'm a big oat milk girly, and I don't like that it's always like a dollar or two extra. You know, I think when it comes to veganism or vegetarianism, I think part of the reason why it's hard to go into that lifestyle is because a lot of those meat products are like subsidized by the government. So it's a little bit cheaper and stuff like that. So I get it. But I feel like sometimes when you say you, when you're like, oh, sorry, I'll have oat milk. You feel better than everybody else.

You feel kind of, oh, I do. I love saying I'm going to get oat milk. To me, it's like saying, oh, I went to Harvard. You know what I'm saying? I get the same high. I didn't go to Harvard, but it's as if I went to Harvard. And so to me, the dollar is a tax. First of all, this would make sense at a blue bottle, but who the hell is trying to order oat milk at a Dunkin'? You're not better than me. You're not better than anybody else at Dunkin' Donuts. Everybody's trash there. There's no reason to pretend that you're... I actually hate that. And I'm on at Dunkin' Donuts. Everybody's trash there. There's no reason to pretend that you're better. I actually hate that. And I'm on team Dunkin' Donuts on that one, I think. So I have a confession to make. I might be responsible for this. I had the CEO of Dunkin' on my show at CNBC and I was vegan. And when they went public,

I wanted to go to a Dunkin' Donuts. And so they put soy milk at one of the Dunkin' Donuts near my house in New York. Just for you? Just for me. Wow. And did you have to pay extra? I don't think I had to pay at all because they did it for publicity. Oh, okay. But I think I was like, you should have non-dairy milk. And so I started the fire. Wow. I didn't realize. I feel like I should get part of this lawsuit, honestly. Yeah. I didn't realize you were like a milk influencer.

I didn't realize you controlled the invisible hand that is of the milk economy. I had no idea. I was talking to big milk over here. A recent study from Pew Research shows that nearly 60% of parents provided financial assistance to their adult children in the past year. If you were a parent with a 30-year-old kid, would you give them gas money? I don't want to shame anybody. I know people are getting that go right now from tech, but then also you don't work in tech and so you should have money. But if I had kids, I would not give them anything. I don't think I would give

them... I mean, as you saw, I'm making $10 a night, so I don't have anything to give. But that to me is not hot. I think that's a problem. That means 60% of people in their 30s going on dates, they're like being subsidized by their parents. That is so unattractive to me and I think to a lot of people. And so I'm sort of worried about the domino effect of this.

I feel people are not going to be boinking if this continues. You're worried about the human race because it's a boner killer. 100% it's a boner killer. I mean, I know people have different situations and stuff like that, but where's the stat from? If that is really true... It's from Pew.

Pew Research Center. I know them. Good folks out there doing the Lord's work. Yeah, I think it's embarrassing. But also, you know what? Maybe we should just take it, I think. Because also, boomers kind of ruined But also, you know what? Maybe we should just take it, I think. Because also, boomers kind of ruined everything. Do you know what I mean by that? Tell me about it. I just feel like boomers just got what they wanted. And then the economy went crazy. They

started all these wars. And now we millennials and Gen Z are paying the price. My friend's dad was a manager at a 7-Eleven. He was able to buy a house for his family and put them all through very good colleges. From being a manager at a 7-Eleven, you cannot do that today, right? So I feel maybe... You know what? I take it back. It actually is very hot that you're getting money from your parents because I think it's a nice like, hey, you screwed me and now I'm going to screw you. Tip for tat, you owe me. This is why I'm 34 and I have roommates. You got to pay for this date I'm going to go on. I think it's fine.

I think it's extra hot that you are sticking it to the man. And by man, I mean your parents. So if your parents offered to give you money, you would take it? Well, I would take it. I would take it these days. I mean, they haven't. But these days in this economy with this inflation, a guy like me, I'll take it. But what about your kids?

Are they cut off at 18? Your imaginary kids yeah I think I would want them to be independent but it also depends on what they wanna you know what

going back to the grandma cat story I knew you were going to I feel like if they talk to me a lot and they like don't treat me like

a complete asshole then yeah I'll give them money here and there but if they're gonna like roast me in front of their friends and make fun of my fashion and stuff like that, I'm not having it. All the money is going to the cats. Yeah, all the money is going to the cats. Exactly.

All right, Fumi, we end our episodes by asking our guests for a money tip that listeners can take straight to the bank. Do you have one that we should know budgeting investing financial anxiety something i learned recently from a guest of mine leslie liao shout out she's a netflix special check it out this is something she taught me and i think it can apply to a lot of things we were talking about makeup specifically and leslie was saying i don't like to buy serums that's over $30 or $40. I'll never spend more than $30, $40 on wine item because I think it's too much. And my co-host, Steffi, was saying, oh, that's crazy because I spend... My co-host, Steffi, is super into skincare stuff, so she's spending hundreds of dollars on this kind of stuff. And she was saying, I think it's

really important to spend money on the serum because she was doing a sandwich analogy. She was saying like the cream is like the bun and the serum is like the meat. And she was saying the serum is like the most important part of your skincare. And so therefore you should spend a lot of money on skincare. And Leslie says, I would argue that the meat or the protein of your sandwich is not the serum. The protein is loving yourself. And there's no amount of serum or cream you can put on your face

to fix the fact that you have a broken family, right? So I think the best financial advice is loving yourself. It all starts from loving yourself. And that's when you can cut back on spendings. I think a lot of times we buy a lot of shit, clothes, whatever. And if it's excessive, I think we're trying to fill some sort of hole

because your dad hit you or something. You know what I mean? And I think we all just need to see a therapist and love ourselves. And therefore, to me,

the people who are mostly financially stable or like the richest people I know are driving Honda Cores and shopping at Old Navy because they love themselves and they're not spending all this money. So love yourself and they're not spending all this money.

So love yourself and forgive your parents. And get therapy, but therapy's expensive. And therapy. Therapy's expensive. Except BetterHelp. Except BetterHelp. Plug them. Plug them.

BetterHelp.com slash MyRehab80. Let's fucking go. You're hilarious. Oh my gosh, thank you. Money Rehab is a production of Money News Network. Let's fucking go. You're hilarious. Oh, my gosh. Thank you. moneyrehab at moneynewsnetwork.com to potentially have your questions answered on the show or even have a one-on-one intervention with me. And follow us on Instagram at moneynews and TikTok at moneynewsnetwork for exclusive video content. And lastly, thank you. No, seriously, thank you. Thank you for listening and for investing in yourself, which is the most important investment you can make.