Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin - Hear Me Out: Why Writing Your Eulogy Can Help You Meet Your Financial Goals

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

As we look to 2024, we're beginning to make our financial New Year's resolutions. Nicole has an unusual routine that helps her get in the spirit: she thinks about her eulogy. Today, she explains why that's not as morbid as it sounds, and how it helps her stay motivated to reach her goals. Plus, Nicole is joined by expert motivational speaker Natasha Graziano who shares her own practice, scripting, she uses to make— and meet— her goals. To keep up with Natasha, start here.

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money is working as hard as you do. So why overcomplicate your money? Keep it simple with Bank of America, your one-stop shop for everything you need today and the goals you're working toward tomorrow. To get started, visit bofa.com slash newprosmedia. That's b-o-f-a dot com slash n-e-w pros p-r-o-s media. bfa.com slash newprosmedia. I'm Nicole Lappin, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. It's time for some money rehab. It's time for some money rehab. For finance nerds, this is our Super Bowl season. Sure, April is Financial Literacy Month, and that is a big deal, too.

But December might as well be Financial Literacy Month Part 2. And you know why? New Year's resolutions. 82% of millennials are setting finance-related resolutions for 2024, whether it's getting out of debt, starting that retirement plan, or finally getting that raise. The numbers are clear. We want to make improvements to our financial lives in 2024. Great news. So over the next few weeks, I'm going to be giving you a lot of tips and tricks to make these goals attainable. But before we get into the nitty gritty tactical steps that you should take in the new year, we got to get our minds right. I recently spoke to public speaker Natasha Graziano about this. You'll hear from her in

just a minute. But first, let me tell you how I get my mind right. Our financial resolutions answer a lot of what questions. What do we want to happen in 2024? Make more money, buy a new car, get a promotion. But what we need to first answer are our why questions. Goals are a lot easier to reverse engineer if we remember why we're motivated to reach them. Yes, part of our why is to make money. You need money to live. But don't over or understate money's role in what you do. You don't get out of bed every single morning to greet the day only for the money or not at all for the money. Money, without meaning, is just paper. You don't work so hard just for paper, right? You do it for the opportunity, for the freedom. So before we nail down the what's of 2024, let's figure out the why's.

Every year I realign myself to my North Star by asking three questions. And they are biggies, but on Money Rehab we're all about answering the big questions together. So they are… 1. What will your legacy be? You don't need to come up with a groundbreaking scientific discovery or win a Grammy to have a legacy. Maybe you established an innovative new process at your company or a thriving community garden in your neighborhood. What do you want to be known for, whether it's to the world or in your diary?

2. What will your eulogy say? This might seem a little bit dark, but connecting with yourself existentially will help you prioritize and gain perspective. Do you hear in that eulogy, she was a member of Congress who fought for women's rights? Well, are you in Congress? Or are you planning on running at some point? If not, why not? Number three, what makes you cry? Think to yourself, my purpose is... And then start writing anything that comes to mind. And keep going. When you find yourself tearing up or getting that little lump in your throat, you've found it. Then get after that.

Because after all, a purpose without a plan is just a prayer. And as is always my style, I'm going to tell you how I would answer these this year. Especially with some more taboo subjects, sometimes it's just easier to see an example or for someone to go first. So let that be me. Number one, what will your legacy be? Well, my legacy will be empowering a generation of young people, especially women, to take control of their lives, careers, and finances once and for all through podcasts, books, and digital tools that hopefully will thrive long after I'm gone. Number two, what will your eulogy say? gone, I hope to be remembered as a successful self-made business person and journalist who was a champion for women and their careers and as a loyal friend who made the lives of those

in my inner circle better for my friendship. Number three, what makes you cry? Well, my purpose is to reach other women who have gone through hell and survived the fire, albeit with broken homes, abusive relationships, or mental disorders, and to empower them to find success as they define it for themselves, and not by ignoring those challenges, but by learning from them and owning them and realizing that there are people who will love you not despite those challenges, but because of them. Of course, you can and should check in with these three questions annually, especially as your personal and professional goals change.

And as your relationship with yourself deepens, you'll likely refine your answers as well. But let's start with today. What is your why today? Once you get to your why, the next question is going to be how. How do you get there? When I was talking to Natasha about this, she told me about her own practice that she uses to get motivated to answer her how questions. Here's that conversation.

And when you speak about the eulogy in one of your books. So I like to think about what somebody would say at my funeral, which sounds really dark and really morbid. But if you're not taking the steps to get there, why not? If that's really what you want to be known for, I think that figuring out ultimately what that looks like could be dark, but it could also be really empowering. I agree. I totally agree. I think it's beautiful. When you told me about that, I was like, God, I love that. Like, I want to know that people are going to say wonderful things, that they're going to be like, she's the most inspirational, motivational female speaker in

the world. I want them to know she got up there like the big male giants and fucking rocked it. And she's someone's life what would you want your eulogy to say i love that question natasha graziano was and will be forever remaining the number one female motivational speaker in the world who changed so many lives that's what i wanted to say that's it and so scriptings are like a lot similar to that you know like scripting is where you write down in the past tense the desires you wish to happen so instead of writing one day I really want to be a coach one day I really want to make a million dollars a year how about you write it down in the past tense something like by and you said it in time

and space by December the 30th 2024 2025 I made a million dollars in my business of now you don't just stop there you write it in full detail like a full full full. I literally just did a TED talk on this called Scripting for Money, Love and Happiness. And it describes in detail how you will manifest it through the art of writing. And it's not woo-woo, it's science. So there's a lot of science behind it. There's citations from the Harvard Business Review, there's citations from different studies. And it's wonderful to see that scripting really does work. And if you write it down and you use your five senses and you use descriptive detail, you'll bring it to fruition a lot faster than if you don't write it down. And if you don't write down the past tense, the past tense is a big

part of it. Because if you write in the present tense, it's an I am, it's an affirmation, it's different, it's okay. If you write in the the future you put distance between you and the thing but when we write it down in the past tense our brain doesn't know whether it's a memory or an imaginary one and it stores it as a memory so how can you help our listeners script around money one part of your TED talk okay which is my favorite part by the way money so me, I would write down before something like, and I still do it now every day. I made X amount of money by what date and time and space. It felt so freeing of my mind to be financially independent and be able to provide for my family. I felt so liberated and happy. I could smell the beautiful air around me of my new home up in the

hills. I could smell the sea ocean now I was living in my dream house. I would lean into every detail. So I would basically pretend like I was having an interview with myself as I'm writing. I'm like, so I pause and I'm like, and what did it feel like? And what did it feel like? And you keep writing. You do it for like 10, 15 minutes a day. Watch how your dream comes about so much faster than anything else. Is that what worked for you? 100%. Scripting is single-handedly the thing that I would say got me out of the rut and changed my life. So what did that look like in the rut? Versus what does it look like now? So in the red, it was depressing. It was demoralizing. I felt like ashamed. I was

embarrassed. I was a disappointment to my son and to the world. And that was in the red. I remember sitting thinking, how have I gotten so low? Like, how is this? How is life so bad for me? What did I do so wrong? And I've made a series of really bad decisions that had taken me to such a low point. And I just remember thinking, there has to be something better than this. And that's when I started scripting. I didn't want to journal about the life I was going through. I didn't want to remind myself of the overcoming of the drug addiction and remind myself of the pain that I was going through and the life I was living. So it was really nice and freeing and liberating for my soul to focus on the future as though it was already mine now. It allowed me to daydream. It allowed me to daydream and allowed me to live in a fairy tale and manifest it now

because it's like escapism it's why american idol does well during tough economic times it's because people don't want to see in the middle of covid dark covid programming you want an escape yes and then you visualize living in the green and look here we are with the green i literally did girl i was like i'm gonna go on this girl's show she's amazing And then you visualize living in the green. And look, here we are with the green. Here we are. You manifested this. I literally did, girl. I was like, I'm going to go on this girl's show. She's amazing. Like, best money show in the whole of the US.

Are you kidding me? Thank you. No, I love it. I was like, this is it. You know, this is, you manifest this. So living in the green feels different. Living in the green feels awesome. It's abundant.

And even if I have had lows in the, know when you go up it's never a straight route it's like a plot yeah like the scatter plot yeah that i'm glad you know more than me on that that thing and it goes up and down and up and down and you have lows you have scares a trend line yeah yeah yeah that's what you're really looking for i know of course i mean you have shitty days still of course i had one the other day i was like oh my god this is so bad i was like surely i'm on That's what you're really looking for. I love that. I mean, you have shitty days still. Of course. I had one the other day. I was like, oh my God, this is so bad. I was like, surely I'm on my period.

No, I'm not. It's just a bad day. I was like, oh God, how do I get out of here? But then I start thinking about the future and I start believing in the future. It doesn't matter whether it's true or not, whether you are the millionaire or not. Do you believe it?

Get yourself a coach, get yourself the content and the videos and the people who can help you get to the next level. So how did you get out of that? You scripted? What is on your script now? I wrote, I scripted myself out of it. Every day it was the same thing, the same thing, the same thing, the same thing, a little bit more, same thing, a little bit more, 10 minutes every single night before bed, sometimes i do it for 20 and i script and i script and every time something comes true the i wish i brought it with me my my current journal in the back i would take a post-it note of anything that came true and put them in the back girl it's like this thick and i'm talking small

goals as well like you know um i got this award. That's quite a big one. I got this. I got a smaller thing happen. I, you know, my son got the space in the school that we wanted. It could be anything, you know, small or big. And you put them in the back to remind yourself you're winning. And remind yourself, yeah, totally living in the, in the green. Money Rehab is a production of Money News Network. I'm your host, Nicole Lappin. Money Rehab's executive producer is Morgan Lavoie. Our researcher is Emily Holmes. Do you need some money rehab? And let's be honest, we all do. So email us your money questions, moneyrehab at moneynewsnetwork.com to potentially have your questions answered on the show or even

have a one-on-one intervention with me and follow us on Instagram at Money News and TikTok at Money News Network for exclusive video content. And lastly, thank you. No, seriously, thank you. Thank you for listening and for investing in yourself, which is the most important investment you can make. Thank you.