Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin - How to Move a Wedding Date for Free with Nicole Pellegrino

Episode Date: June 9, 2022

Your wedding. Whether or not you’re one of those people who have been dreaming about this day your entire life, you’re probably pretty stoked. It’s a celebration of love, with dancing and cake and champagne. What could be better? But there is the small, teeny, tiny matter of planning it… and paying for it.  But, we don’t have to go through it alone, we can phone a friend for answers to our questions. And today, we’ll be phoning our friend Nicole Pellegrino— recent bride, wedding expert and host of the funny and helpful podcast Betches Brides. You can listen to Betches Brides at: https://betches.com/brands/betches-brides/ 

One of the most stressful periods of my life was when I was in credit card debt. I got to a point where I just knew that I had to get it under control for my financial future and also for my mental health. We've all hit a point where we've realized it was time to make some serious money moves. So take control of your finances by using a Chime checking account with features like no maintenance fees, fee-free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Learn more at Chime.com slash MNN. When you check out Chime, you'll see that you can overdraft up to $200 with no fees. If you're an OG listener, you know about my infamous $35 overdraft fee that

I got from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it. If I had Chime back then, that wouldn't even be a story. Make your fall finances a little greener by working toward your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in just two minutes at Chime.com slash MNN. That's Chime.com slash MNN. Chime. Feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. Members FDIC. SpotMe eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Boosts are available to eligible Chime members enrolled in SpotMe and are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to Chime.com slash disclosures for details.

I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash, but I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start or even too complicated if, say, you want to put your summer home in Maine on Airbnb, but you live full time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a co-host network, which is a network of high quality local co-hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co-hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your

reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you. I always want to line up a reservation for my house when I'm traveling for work, but sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always feels like a scramble, so I don't end up making time to make my house look guest friendly. I guess that's the best way to put it. But I'm matching with a co-host so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself. Find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host. Hey guys, are you ready for some money rehab? Wall Street has been completely upended by an unlikely player. GameStop. And should I have a 401k?

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The only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. Nicole Lappin. Ah, your wedding day. Whether or not you're one of those people who have been dreaming about this day your entire life, you are probably pretty, pretty stoked. It is, after all, a celebration of love with dancing and cake and champagne. What could be better? But there is that small, teeny, tiny matter of planning it and paying for it. As you may or may not know, I am engaged. Sorry,

boys. And so I'm in the wedding planning phase right now. And if you're going through the process too, I think you'll probably agree with me when I say it's a lot. But we don't have to go through it alone. We can phone a friend for answers to our questions. And today we'll be phoning our friend Nicole Pellegrino, recent bride, wedding expert, and a host of the super funny and helpful podcast Betches Brides. Nicole, welcome to Money Rehab. Yes, so excited to be here. Thank you for having me. You are the host of the amazing Betches Brides podcast. And as of last year, a beautiful bride yourself, Mazel Tov. Thank you. Thank you. So I'm excited to dig into all things weddings with you.

Yes, I'm excited too. It's my favorite topic. Tell me more about the topic. I know you have a lot of industry expertise, but I want to hear about your personal experience first. So you planned a wedding during a pandemic, which makes you a bona fide badass bride. Thank you. So let's start at the beginning of that. Can you tell me about your fairytale wedding, what you thought it was going to look like before you started doing any planning? Yes. So basically, I've learned so much through this whole process of planning my own wedding

and getting to know the Betches Brides audience really well. I've learned almost more from well. I've learned like almost more from them than I've learned from my own wedding. But throughout my own wedding process, so I got engaged of May of 2019. And then, you know, took a while to enjoy the engagement. Finally, a couple months later, I was like, okay, let's start planning this wedding. Started making the budget, which I'm sure we'll get to and all that kind of stuff. But started planning our wedding, had this gorgeous vision in mind. So the date was October 31st, 2020. That was when we were supposed to get married. And that's Halloween. The only reason we picked Halloween, everybody thinks we're

Halloween obsessed because of that. I'm like, no, the only reason we picked that was because that was the only date left. The vendors we wanted and a lot of our guests that we were inviting, we procrastinated starting planning. We were still planning a year out. But my biggest tip to brides is always like start planning now, even if you're like not even engaged, just start planning because things get booked up so fast. Wow. Especially in 2022, the wedding boom year. But so October 31 was the date we had booked a ton of our vendors at this point, you know, as time passed, and we got got closer we were really planning uh planning away

moving forward we were gonna do all these fun little halloween touches not like over the top cheesy halloween but like you know a little gothic touch here and there bridesmaids wearing black love a gothic touch and then march 2020 happened and we were like okay um looks like a lot of people now are starting to postpone their weddings. And I remember like, you know, the March, April, May, a lot of the summer weddings were postponing. But my husband, Mike, and I were like, you know, look at all that sucks for all these weddings that have to postpone all like all these summer and spring weddings. But we're fine. Ours is in the fall. We'll be fine.

It'll be, this pandemic will be gone by then. Sure enough, a couple months, it gets closer. We're a couple months out at this point. We're like, you know what? We're just going to have to, we're going to have to postpone it. So that's where we went to our vendors. We, our vendors, we were lucky to have very flexible amazing to work with vendors they were all able to find it was like a giant puzzle piece figuring out which date in 2021 that everybody was free um but we finally found one they were able to transfer over the non-refundable deposits which I know not all vendors I've heard from our audience members, not all vendors were that kind when it came to doing that. Ours thankfully were. So we then

moved to September 4th, 2021 and kind of like not started over, like we kept a lot of the same vendors, but we definitely had to rethink the vision. We definitely had to just rethink different things, kind of like had a lot more time to plan, which was a good and a bad thing. And yeah, then we made it happen. We did at one point when this was all happening, we kind of looked at each other and we were like, fuck it. That's when I kind of took over hosting Betches Brides because I was already working on that and helping plan podcast episodes. And that's when I got really close to the audience. I think there were a ton of, we call them COVID brides, going through the similar

situation that I was. So it formed a bond between us. And here we are today. COVID bride sisterhood is real. Yes. So you ultimately had it in September of 21. Correct. It happened. It worked out. All the things.

There was no Halloween touches, but probably even better. Great. So I know it feels like 500 years into the pandemic at this point, but people are still having right to move their wedding dates back. How can people move their wedding dates or what kind of advice would you give them without losing a bunch of money? Well, now I would make sure before even signing with a vendor, I think the big lesson learned throughout the pandemic was like, make sure there are people call them COVID clauses. Make sure there's something in the

contract that says something along the lines of like, if a pandemic or if we do have to reschedule for any reason, we don't have to pay an additional cost. Like some vendors might use... I remember our florist was like, no, to actually reschedule, I do need you to pay more money. But this is going to be a percentage that is also counted towards your final floral bill. So it was another deposit, it's called a changeover deposit or something. So make sure there's, I would just work it out with your vendors prior and make sure there's something in writing in that vendor contract agreement that says, you know, we, we will be able to reschedule with no cost or, or with a cost that would be applied to our final bill or something along those lines that kind of saves

you because that's where a lot of people had to pay a ton of money that I guess they didn't get back. If you don't have anything like that, when you do get to that point where you're like, okay, we do have to reschedule, but we didn't have something in the beginning that said like in the event that we do have to reschedule, you know? So if you get to that point, I would just kindly ask them if they can just like, if they can trust you in good faith. Like if you say like, look, we have to reschedule, but we'll still use you as our venue. Can we just, can you just trust us? And I would just kind of beg them. And, but I, I would say always have stuff like that in writing from the beginning. Did you have good luck across the board doing that? Or

did you have some bad experiences? I had good luck. Again, like I just, my vendors all, I definitely had to pay non-refundable deposits, but that's standard for like booking any wedding vendors. They're always gonna have a non-refundable deposit. And that makes sense if you think about it for them because they are planning these weddings out a year plus in advance. They have a jam-packed book.

Like from the vendor's point of view, they have to have a jam-packed book. From the vendor's point of view, they have to have that non-refundable deposit because if you suddenly decide like, oh, never mind, we're eloping instead, then they've spent time planning, they've reserved that date for you, turned down other couples where they could have been making money. So yeah, the non-refundable deposit makes sense. But with me, I think part of this had to do with me hosting a podcast and being in the public eye of weddings. They probably knew like, oh, Nicole would talk about her grievances on the podcast. But luckily, a lot of my vendors were like, look, this is new for all of us.

This pandemic, nobody saw it coming. You couldn't have planned. We couldn't have planned. So let's look at dates in a year from now and try to find something that works for all of us. I do know that had, let's say I found a date a year, let's say like September 4th, we found, but my florist wasn't able to do, for example, I'm sure she would have still been like, okay, that's fine.

I just can't work your wedding. I have another wedding that date. I'm keeping your deposit. And that I would have had to eat that deposit, which I know that is what a lot of other couples had to do. Like they just had to eat deposits. How much is the deposit like typically of the whole bill? All vendors do different things. Like I had, I think a lot of my vendors were doing like

one third of the total bill was kind of like a first deposit. Then like a couple months out from the wedding, you're paying that other chunk. And months out from the wedding you're paying that other chunk and then right before the wedding you're paying the final bill because a lot of the a lot of the things that you're paying for depend on your guest count which guest count is the biggest number one tip to cut costs for a wedding is just more guests equal more expensive wedding, less guests equal, you're saving more. So yeah, a lot of vendors, they'll have you pay in different like installments over time as you're getting closer to the big day.

Hold on to your wallets, boys and girls. Money rehab will be right back. One of the most stressful periods of my life was when I was in credit card debt. I got to a point where I just knew that I had to get it under control for my financial future and also for my mental health. We've all hit a point where we've realized it was time to make some serious money moves. So take control of your finances by using a Chime checking account with features like no maintenance fees, fee-free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Learn more at Chime.com slash MNN. When you check out Chime, you'll see that you can overdraft up to $200 with no fees. If you're an OG listener,

you know about my infamous $35 overdraft fee that I got from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it. If I had Chime back then, that wouldn't even be a story. Make your fall finances a little greener by working toward your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in just two minutes at Chime.com slash MNN. That's Chime.com slash MNN. Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. Members FDIC. SpotMe eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Boosts are available to eligible Chime members enrolled in SpotMe and are subject to monthly

limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to Chime.com slash disclosures for details. I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash. But I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start or even too complicated if, say, you want to put your summer home in Maine on Airbnb, but you live full time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to

change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a co-host network, which is a network of high quality local co-hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co-hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you. I always want to line up a reservation for my house when I'm traveling for work, but sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always

feels like a scramble, so I don't end up making time to make my house look guest-friendly. I guess that's the best way to put it. But I'm matching with a co-host so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself. Find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host. more money rehab. So throughout the planning phase, how were you and your then fiance, now husband talking about money? Did you guys sit down and do a budget together? How did that work? How did that conversation go? So I think for us, we sat down first and before we even brought up the dreaded money, the dreaded topic of paying for the wedding, I think we were like, what kind of wedding ideally would we have? And I always tell couples, kind of start with that, but be realistic about it. We all want a half a million dollar wedding in Tuscany, right? Don't always say that. Don't be that lofty. If you can and you have enough funds to work towards that, then please do. But for us, we kind of looked at each other

and we were like, what kind of wedding? Okay, we want a wedding that's in the States so that we can have elderly family members attend. We want a wedding where him and I both went to college together. So we wanted a bunch of our friends from college to be able to attend and to be able to invite them. We also wanted our big Italian families to come with all aunts, all cousins, everybody. So we were like, okay, we're looking at a pretty hefty guest list. And that's a big way to start. That's a great way to start. Who do we want coming to this wedding? Because then that'll kind of help guide the budget. A lot of people say budget before guest list, because then that, if you can only spend a certain amount, you really got to cut people from that guest list. I think you

can kind of do them at the same time. And that's kind of the best way. That way you're not sacrificing too many people that you do want to invite, but you're also being realistic about money. So yeah, him and I were just kind of like, okay, this is the wedding we envision. And then that's where my biggest tip for people is sit down together as a couple and determine the three things of your wedding that are most important to you. If you want like a crazy floral wow moments, floral arrangements, then sure. Then say florals are important to us. If you want

a really nice suit and like a really, really nice wedding wardrobe, we call it, like outfits throughout the day, then that's important to you. For us, Mike and I were like, okay, we care about the entertainment. We wanted a band, which typically they're a little more pricey than DJs. We wanted a good venue centrally located. It didn't need to be aesthetically that pretty for us, but we got married in downtown Annapolis, Maryland. So we wanted a good downtown location for our venue. And then we were like, decent food. We wanted enough food. We have Italian families where they eat a ton. So we were like, decent food. We wanted like enough food. We have Italian families where

they eat a ton. So we were like, we know we'll have to have like good food at cocktail hour, good food at the wedding day. But other than that, we were like, we don't need to splurge that heavily in other areas. Like we didn't really care about flowers that much, even though our flowers ended up being so gorgeous. We, you know, because our venue and everything was in the same place, we didn't have to pay for transportation at all, which can be a big expense. We worked with like a girl who was a friend of mine and got us a deal on invitations. So we were like, we don't really need to splurge on paper products a ton. So to answer your question, that's kind of where we talked it out.

We decided what's most important to us and what would we splurge on versus save more on. And what even directionally should you be thinking about with the top line number? I know they can be like 500 grand in Tuscany or like Cuomo, in which case, please invite both Nicoles. We will totally be there. I will totally be there, yes. But for everybody else, where should you even start thinking about it? Yeah. So good question. This is so tough because there's just so many factors that go into it. Obviously, if you're getting married in coastal cities, New York and LA, we looked at venues in New York City and we were like, okay, we can't even entertain this idea for the guest list that we were going to have. If we were going to have a 40 person or less wedding, maybe we could

entertain getting married in New York City, but it was just so much more than we wanted to spend. So I think as like guiding direction to answer your question, I would ask around, I would research the hell out of like, what does a, let's say you want to have a hundred person wedding. What does a hundred person wedding typically cost in wherever you live? I would ask for rents. I would ask word of mouth. I would do what I like to call vendor shopping where you can just reach out to vendors and be like, look, we're thinking around a hundred people for our wedding. How much for your service? How much would this cost? like we're looking into photographers how much would you charge for an eight hour day and kind of get quotes from

different vendors um that way you're getting a better idea and that way you can kind of add all of them up and see how much it would cost um and see if you can even afford that. And if you can't, you can make adjustments to your day and, or to, you know, which vendors you're using and to your guests list, to your priorities. Maybe you have to cut things like paper products and do online invitations instead. But yeah, I mean, I, I know weddings, not to like generalize, but if you're having like over 100 people, like in New York, for example, I think you're definitely spending over $100,000,

which full transparency, we did not spend that much on our wedding. That's why we went to Maryland. I probably could have begged parents, but we my eyes, I was just like, I don't want to spend more than that on my wedding day. And everybody has different views with that. A lot of people look at... That's why it is such a taboo topic to talk about how much we spend on our weddings because people judge. People will be like, you spent that much

in one day. Why would you do that? But I always say if people have the means and this is important to them, by all means, let them. If they worked hard for their money and they can afford a nice wedding, let them do it. But me personally, I was like, let's try to cut back. I really started thinking about this idea of a wedding planner. And are you happy with your wedding planner setup, like checking in monthly and having her sort of dictate what you should be doing with vendors? Or is it better to have a planner to ultimately help you stick to a budget? Because I've read that using that wedding planner, even if it's an extra cost, will save money in the long run. It's so funny because with a planner, I used to, when I first started planning my wedding, I was like, I can do this on my own.

I don't even need a planner until the day of. I'll be fine. And I used to be very like anti-planner. Like, come on, you can do it. Just work hard. More and more as I've learned more about weddings and planning weddings and the audience, people are prioritizing budgeting to afford a wedding planner. And in many cases, a full service planner like you're looking into because, yeah, like

I had one of my betches coworkers on the podcast to talk about her wedding and she was like, my planner, if you find a good planner, they will help you save so much money in the long run. Like they will tell you, oh no, you don't need to be spending on charger plates because it's like a thing on the table i don't know that was just the first thing that came to mind on the tablescape which is a whole nother like they'll tell you things like oh no the yeah you don't need to spend on nice fancy plates because the kitchen will come in anyways and put the plates down and people won't see them i don't know little things like that they will end up helping you save money in the long run so yeah i think um if you can like planners have different packages like ours was the month of planner but she was guiding us leading up i think like looking back

it would have probably saved me a lot of stress to just have paid the couple thousand extra to do her full service package. Um, just cause to like with the month of, you know, you get there to the month of, and I was doing everything as the bride. So I kind of, it was hard for me to like fully pass off everything to her. Like I ended up still having to do so much leading up to the wedding day because I was the one involved in planning it all up until that point. Whereas if I had had a full service planner really owning all of those different aspects, you know, I would have been able to even loosen the reins leading up to the wedding that much more. Yeah, it sounds so stressful. It's a lot on top of like I was kind of trying to pretend, you know, like me planning my wedding is part of my job, right? Because best as brides. But looking back, I was I should have

just we should have done like a full service planner. But no, our planner was great. You know, we made it happen. I learned a lot from having to do it myself. But yeah, I think definitely, like the number one, one of the number one things you should look into budgeting for is a wedding planner like I would almost like take take money from other areas like maybe you don't need a as expensive dress maybe you don't need the paper products again different things that you'd be okay with cutting to afford a good wedding planner. For today's tip, you can take straight to the bank. If you're looking for more tips around not breaking the bank for your wedding day, listen to Money Rehab episode 83, titled Say I Do to a Wedding Spending Plan, linked in the show notes.

Money Rehab is a production of iHeartRadio. I'm your host, Nicole Lappin. Our producers are Morgan Lavoie and Mike Coscarelli. Executive producers are Nikki Etor and Will Pearson. Our mascots are Penny and Mimsy. Huge thanks to OG Money Rehab team Michelle Lanz for her development work, Catherine Law for her production and writing magic, and Brandon Dickert for his editing, engineering, and sound design. And as always, thanks to you for finally investing in yourself

so that you can get it together and get it all.