Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin - Hugh Hefner's Widow Crystal Harris Hefner on the Financial Prison of the Playboy Mansion

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

According to a new report, 23% of all couples are staying in their current relationships due to financial dependency. This is the situation Crystal Hefner found herself in when she became Hugh Hefner���s third wife— and then, widow. In her new book, Only Say Good Things: Surviving Playboy and Finding Myself, Crystal opens up about the financial control that she was subject to during her time in the Playboy Mansion. Today, Nicole and Crystal follow that money trail, plus Crystal shares what she did to build up her freedom fund, how much Playmates really make and more. Find Crystal's book here. $ Investors: Robinhood has the only IRA that gives you a 3% boost on every dollar you contribute when you subscribe to Robinhood Gold. Learn more at Robinhood.com/boost  $ Want the kiddos in your life to become money masters? Check out Greenlight, the best money app and debit card for families (and get one month free!): http://greenlight.com/moneyrehab $ Is mental health a resolution for 2024? Get 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp at: http://betterhelp.com/moneyrehab  $ The secret to health and wealth is in your gut. Literally. Get 20% off a 90 day bottle of Just Thrive Probiotic and Just Calm. Try it at: justthrivehealth.com and use promo code: MONEYREHAB. $ Want one-on-one money coaching from Nicole? Book a meeting with her here: intro.co/moneynewsnetwork 

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maintenance fees, fee-free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Learn more at Chime.com slash MNN. When you check out Chime, you'll see that you can overdraft up to $200 with no fees. If you're an OG listener, you know about my infamous $35 overdraft fee that I got from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it. If I had Chime back then, that wouldn't even be a story. Make your fall finances a little greener by working toward your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in just two minutes at Chime.com slash MNN. That's Chime.com slash MNN. Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. Members FDIC. SpotMe eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Boosts are available I'm Nicole Lappin, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand.

It's time for some money rehab. According to a new report, 23% of all couples are staying in their current relationships due to financial dependency. This is the situation that Crystal Hefner found herself in when she became Hugh Hefner's third wife and then widow. In her new book, Only Say Good Things, Surviving Playboy and Finding Myself, Crystal opens up about the financial controls she was subject to during her time in the Playboy mansion. Today, we follow that money trail and more. Crystal and I talk about what she did to build up her nest egg so that she could give herself a shot at financial freedom. We also talk about the weird money habits that kept Hugh Hefner's girlfriends dependent, how much playmates really make,

and what Crystal is now doing with her engagement ring. Here's our conversation. And no, we don't only say good things. Crystal Hefner, welcome to Money Rehab. Thank you. Thanks for having me. For those who don't know, can you talk about the first time you went to the Playboy mansion? I went to a Halloween party in 2008. I'd never seen a celebrity in my life. And when I got there, we saw just a wave of people coming across the cabanas. And I thought, oh my gosh, that must be Hugh Hefner. My extroverted friend dragged me over to where Hef was. And seeing him in the cabana, it's almost like being

at the zoo. You see into the enclosure and see in there and we're on the other side of the rope. But then Hef's gaze fell on me and he invited me into the cabana and it all started from there. What was your first impression of him? I thought he was magnetic. I was also at a place where, you know, he's the king of his castle. He had about 70 staff members, all yes men around him and it's his party. So he came across as magnetic and powerful. And how long was it before you ended up moving in? The next week, I thought. Okay. Let's take a step back from life at the mansion and go back all the way to your childhood. I think it's really important because you want to help women with your story. And I think a lot of

it stems from money and financial trauma and financial abuse. So can you tell me about what money it was like in your childhood? Yeah. My parents and I didn't have money growing up. My parents came from England. They didn't have green cards and they overstayed their welcome. My dad was a singer and he got any jobs that he could while he was here. We lived on a boat, but it was mostly just apartments. And then my dad died when I was 12. And after that, my mom and I had nothing. We ended up renting a bedroom in some other family's home for $400. So being in another family's home, you feel small.

You feel like everyone's better than you. Especially with just my mom and I just feel like leftover scraps of a family. I think that contributed to me feeling worthless. When you don't have any money, you do feel like everyone's better than you. Where did that show up growing up for you? I mean, for me, I grew up very similarly. My dad died when I was 11 of a drug overdose. I didn't have money growing up. I was always jealous of the girls at school that could wear the clothes and do the things. I was told to flush the toilet only if it was number two to save money on water, stuff like that. So there are little things that I remember that really stick out to me. Was there anything like that for you?

I think people pleasing and just staying small to survive. My mom remarried this guy who lived in a condo in La Jolla and drove a Mercedes. And I just thought he was rich and he had a daughter and we moved in with them. And I was second rate to his daughter. He treated her really well. He treated me very poorly. And I just learned that I'm not as good as these people and I need to just stay small to fit in and be accepted. Do you think your mom married him for financial security? Absolutely. She married him for financial security and also for her green card because she was still illegal from England. I think that role of financial security plays a huge component in looking for your significant other if your family did that. Even if you want to break the cycle, do you feel like some of what your mom did was ingrained in you and it was hard to break that cycle?

Once my mom marries someone that had means, it's something that was enticing for her. She did have relationships with wealthy older people. Like, okay. Did you growing up think that that was something you wanted to emulate? I do remember getting into a really good school, La Jolla High School, where everyone was a rich kid. They threw parties at their parents' houses and drove all their fancy cars. Some of the girls were even in that show, Sweet 16. I don't know if you remember that show, but that made me feel even smaller. And I remember- Like lavish parties and stuff like that.

Total lavish. For kids. Mansions. And I remember going to these people's houses and thinking, wow, these houses are so beautiful and they get to live here. But they're such horrible people. I'm like, why? I feel like I deserve something like this one day. Like, I'm a nice person.

And why is life so unfair? You always felt like an outsider. Absolutely. I think the role of money is a huge component to a lot of abusive and toxic relationships. There's a huge misconception oftentimes, like people might call women gold diggers, but there's so much more beneath the surface. Yeah, absolutely. What was the lure of financial security when you were going to the mansion? I knew that Hef was this powerful person

that created an entire empire. And I do remember seeing Playboy magazine when I was a teenager, my stepdad's office. He had so many of them. Thinking back, I'm like, ew, what a pervert. But then I'm like, oh, he's classy and refined in these magazines for the articles or whatever. But I remember opening them and seeing these women and thinking, wow, these are the most powerful women in the world. They're gorgeous.

They have the world at their feet. I want to be like them. And you ultimately were. Let's go back to the mansion when you were there for Halloween. There was obviously something magnetic there and it seemed like there was a facade of financial security. Like if you were part of this, you would be okay financially, right? Yeah, absolutely. And you think about being a playmate, like, oh, you probably get paid for being a playmate and make all this money. Do you? It's $25,000 to be a playmate. And those photos go in the magazine and online. And then those online photos get distributed to these sites that are Playboy licenses. So nude photos are literally everywhere all over the world. So $25,000 for that.

Are those negotiable or is that just the rate? No, that's just the rate. Take it or leave it. There's another girl who would want it. Oh, absolutely. There are so many girls constantly coming through and testing and only 12 made it a year. And we're all young and impressionable. And you think, oh, I've won. I'm the best.

I'm the prettiest. It's kind of silly, really. But do you think they're taking advantage of financially? I think it's too low of a rate compared to what Playboy makes off of all those images and Playmate video. You have to film a video that goes on the Playboy TV channel that people pay-per-view or whatever. Maybe it's like the porn in the hotel. I don't know, but they're making so much money. Playboy TV, the magazine, they print books of all the centerfolds and they do all types of different magazines, books, collectors, things, and the girls don't see any more money than that $25,000 and they lose half of it to taxes. So there's no residuals or royalties or anything beyond just the flat fee? Nothing beyond that. You could sometimes work as a playmate, be a working playmate, but you have to have a good personality and flirt while you work. And if you're good at that, you get $900 per event and you wear your bunny costume.

But then after the event's over, you have to give the bunny costume back. So let's talk a little bit more about the money element of the mansion. You've talked a lot about all the sex and all the other stuff and like it's in your book and anyone who wants to get the juicy details can get it. But I'd really love to get the juicy details of what the money was like. Tell me about what the allowance was. Oh my goodness. Every Friday we had to ask Hef for allowance. It was a thousand dollars in the beginning. And we would find him on a Friday and say, Hef, you know, can we have our allowance? And he'd be like, oh, you act kind of surprised or I don't know. It was like a ritual. Yes. Like a daddy,

can I have some money? Yes. Yes. And we'd go into his bedroom. He'd get his little keys out of his pocket and open up a cabinet that was locked and take out an envelope that Norma in the office refreshed every week. And he would count out the bills and be like, 100, 200. And like, this one's for me. This one's for Christina, Carissa, the twins. And yeah. And then you collect your money. Just in cash. Like a hooker, basically. Yeah, that's what it was like. And I think he wanted that control. Well, I find this ritual, it's the whole show that it's getting counted out as being so bizarre. So much part of this financial abuse and control is this show and this idea that maybe you're

going to get it or maybe you're not, but you know you're going to get it and you have to go through this whole song and dance. Yeah, like a complete power imbalance where Hef wanted to make sure that we knew who was boss. So it was a thousand dollars a week for each girl. Yes. And it was always in cash. Yes. How much cash do you think was in the mansion? I'm not quite sure. I don't think that much because Norma would go to the bank and get the cash and refill the envelope. And Hef would play backgammon and cards and things like that and have little wagers with his friends. But not that much. There wasn't really a safe there. He was cheap. Why was it always in the same way, do you think? It seems like it was back

from the 80s or 70s. It never changed. Did the amount change? Was there inflation? Probably not. I mean, eventually it went up after we got married, but I think it was the same and he was a creature of habit. In your book, you talk about the psychology of asking for allowance. How have you thought about it since then? How have you thought about asking for money? Have you taken back your power? Oh my gosh. With the wisdom I have now, if Hef would have done that to me, I would have taken all those bills and just throw them in his face. And what would he have done? I don't know. I think he respected me more toward the end of

his life. I'm hoping that he learned some lessons before he passed. So back in the envelope math would be 52K a year. That's it? Yeah. I think around then I reached the point where I thought, okay, I'm going to have to do something different because he gave us enough to where we would be okay because we didn't have to pay rent, food, whatever, but never enough that we would be able to leave. So I'm like, okay,

I need to re-strategize this whole thing. So I heard you say that Playmates get the 25K. And so is it 25K plus 52K? No. So how does it work? So the playmates get the $25,000 and the girlfriends get the thousand every Friday. But can you be a playmate and a girlfriend? You can be a playmate and a girlfriend. I became a playmate and was a girlfriend. I got the thousand every Friday and then the $25,000 for being a playmate. And I remember because at that time at 21, that's the biggest chunk of money I had gotten in my life. And if you're getting paid in cash, you're not building credit or anything. So is it hard for you to get credit? Yeah. You don't even think about credit that time at 21. I didn't think

about credit. I mean, that makes sense. Not a lot of 21 year olds do, to be fair. In the docuseries Secrets of Playboy, some women say that they were drugged when they were given contracts. Did you see any of that? Really? I didn't. I was definitely given some contracts. One of the contracts caused me to call the wedding off, but I wasn't around in the Quaalude era. One of the contracts caused you to call the wedding off. Was that a prenup contract? No, it wasn't even that. I was very compliant with the prenup. I took it to one attorney and they wouldn't sign it because they said it was grossly unfair. So I took it to a second attorney who I think was happy to just say they were involved and they signed it off for me.

The one I walked out on was a contract for marrying Hef. It was a special on Lifetime. It was a two-hour special. I overheard Hef and the producer saying they were going to make $800,000 for this two-hour special on Lifetime. And Hef came into the vanity of my little area of his room and he gave me this paperwork that was a release and a talent fee of $2,500. So he was making $800,000 and you were making $2,500. Yes. He brought that in and it had a $2,500 talent fee. I was meant to carry this and go to the flower mart and all these things for the wedding. I'm introverted. I hate this. There's 300 people coming to the wedding. And I told him, I said, I overheard you talking to the producer, Kevin

Burns, who has since died. And I heard that you guys were making $800,000 and this is a $2,500 talent fee. I know I'll be carrying most of this. Maybe 10,000 will make me feel a little bit better. And he proceeded to say, what are you in this for? Immediately, I got PTSD to all the times and interviews where people were like, cold dicker, you're in it for the money. Why are you there? And I just kind of lost it. That was for the first time on Hef and I stormed out and tried to leave out of the back gate and security wouldn't open first time on Hef and I stormed out and tried to leave out of the back gate and security wouldn't open the gate. Hef had called down and said, she tries to leave, don't let her. So I came back into the house. I'm like, oh,

I got to do this differently next time. And it's weird because now people are saying, oh, you're just trying to profit off a dead man or you're trying to this and that. Most people know there's not too much to be made in the book. You know, once the publisher takes most of the money and I split it with the agency and all the people and the writers and I will co-sign on that. I'm like, okay, so profiting off of half. What about all the profit he made off of me? He still made that $800,000 and my fee was $2,500. And you and you took it well I left the mansion they said oh we're still filming for it and when you're young then I felt like an adult

but looking back like I was so young they forced me to be on the show anyway it's somewhere on YouTube it's like the runaway bride show it turned into that and yeah they forced me to be on it and I think I got twenty five hundred dollars do you think you made $800,000 in the totality of your time there? That I did? Yeah. Like if he was making 800K just from that, I'm trying to understand how many X what you got, he got in the lifetime of your relationship. I think he profited off of all of us so much,

you know, with the magazine and with everything and, you know, all the different things that we did, all the shows, Girls Next Door. He was getting 400,000 episode for the Girls Next Door show. Well, it sounds like you never got paid for Girls Next Door or nobody did. Zero. I felt like, oh, I'm just lucky to be here. He made us feel like, oh, we should be so lucky to be here that everyone would want to be in our spots. Not even Holly Madison got paid? They didn't get paid for their first season,

but I think over time they started making money on the girls' sector, but not enough to write home about. Well, it's not enough. Like a couple grand compared to hundreds of thousands of dollars? I think they made like a couple grand on the maybe season two, three, and it went up slowly. To like 10 grand, maybe? Less than that, I'm sure. For the whole season?

For episode, I don't think they made that much. Because they didn't really have much when they left the mansion. You know, Holly went straight to Dancing with the Stars and she hustled. So you're on Money Rehab. Let's confront some of the money criticism, shall we? With people saying that you're profiting off a dead man, your words, and in a book, I, again, will co-sign that books do not make a lot of money. What would you say to those people? I would say, look at all the ways have profited off of us and not just us, all the women before us

and all the women before that, all the way to Marilyn Monroe, who was the very first playmate in the magazine that got paid nothing for creating an entire empire for Hef. He bought her calendar photos, her naked calendar photos that everyone knew existed, but hadn't seen.

He bought those. And those were the pictures that were in the first issue of Playboy. And she made nothing. And now he's buried next to her. He wanted to be buried next to her at Westwood Memorial. And in my book, I talk about, she has no say of the man whose bones will be next to her for all eternity. I feel sorry for her.. I feel sorry for her. And I feel sorry for everyone that's come after her. All the way to the end, to me. In my books, I talked about how much I made for my advances

because I talk about money and I just assume somebody would wonder. You don't have to tell me, but it's not in the millions of dollars, I assume. For my advance, no. It was less than $100,000. And I split that with my book agent. I think people don't realize how little money there actually is here. So money isn't the motivating factor for you. Yeah. I mean, I remember getting $29,000 into my bank account

and I'm like, oh, my credit card's more than that at this point because I'm building a place in Hawaii. So that money just went away in like one day. I was like, oh, relooking the contract because it all happened so fast. And a lot of people, I think, get rich because they are just extreme narcissists. A lot of people that are super, super, super, super rich, you get that way by not caring about other people's thoughts and feelings or how much money they're making. I think a lot of that happens. And when I make money, I want to share it with whoever has helped me with it. And, you know, the collaborative writer, she helped me structure the book in a way that's really impactful. Like, let's share it. I couldn't have done this without you. I couldn't have structured it this certain

way. And when you're so giving in that way, it's harder to make certain type of money, but there's a balance, I think, at the end of the day. It's like, do you want to be a good person or do you want to be awful and horrible and not take care of people properly? I've definitely struggled with that. I definitely think I'm on the side of giving more and wanting the whole team to feel really good because you can't do it without them. It sounds like Hef was the complete opposite of that. Complete opposite. He didn't want anybody to have more than he had. He was threatened by anybody that maybe was close to equal. And I read somewhere that the playmate of the year gets 100K and gets some extra gifts like a car.

Is that right? Yes. The playmate of the year gets 100,000 after taxes like 50. And she gets a car, which is interesting because they would go from regular normal cars to mini cars. Two or three years in a row was a Harley Davidson motorcycle. As the gift? As the car. So it went from a sedan or Mercedes?

I don't think Mercedes, just some type of sedan to like a mini Cooper or like Fiat to a Harley and then another Harley. I think it was like two or three Harleys and then it stopped. So we're like working in the opposite direction of inflation. Yes. Also, here I am like defending, but Playboy was going downhill, so they couldn't really afford it. So they started cutting back some of the benefits that were already low. Yes. Even with all of the benefits that were already low. Yes. Even with all of the online expansion? I think so. And I think people were becoming more aware of beauty is subjective and Hef created this magazine where most of the girls in there were blonde,

white girls with big boobs. And it was Hefner's Playboy. It was who he personally was attracted to. He would put in the magazine and over time you're like, that's not, that's not it. So Playboy has shifted since then. I think they recently had a man on the cover, which is great. Like, okay, now maybe they're going in the direction of true freedom and expression. maybe they're going in the direction of true freedom and expression. It's just Hefner's warped idea of beauty. Well, it sounds like there was a premium of prestige, that there's this element that you're getting paid in prestige.

And that's what I think people assume you get when you are part of the Playboy universe. But I would assume that it would at least stay the same, not go down over time. And when you say prestige, it's very interesting because I remember early modeling gigs and people will say, oh, you know, it's not paid, but you get exposure. I'm going to pay my bills with exposure. I can't. I can't go to the grocery store and pay for your groceries with exposure. I can't. I can't go to the grocery store and pay for your groceries with exposure. Yeah. I did a cover shoot recently and there was a whole team of people. And the woman that worked on my nails, I said, oh, do you do nails? And maybe you can come back tomorrow because they got a little wrecked from the shoot. And she came back and she's like, oh, none of us were paid for that. It's all considered editorial and we don't get paid. So I'm like makeup artists, stylists, all these people, and they just don't get paid.

It still happens. There's this misconception, I think, with this idea of the value of exposure. You have to work to monetize that. Even if you have exposure, you have to do something with it. People that are on reality shows think, oh, they don't have to get paid, which they don't get paid a lot. I didn't realize until recently these contestants don't get paid because of the promise of exposure. But you have to hustle to make any money from that platform. Yeah, it's hard. I recently got asked to be on a reality show and they told me I had to pay. Are you serious? Yes. How much?

$5,000 per person to be on their show. A network show? Like a real show? Yeah, I think it's on Bravo or... How do they do that? Interesting, right? Yeah. Because they think that you're going to profit much more than... Maybe the value, like...

This is all like rich people history stuff. I've always thought that reality TV is that. But it sounds like that perception has gone from not accurate to even worse, that you can profit from this association or this alleged prestige. But the more that comes out from your book, from the girls next door, the more you peel back the layers of the onion. There's not that much that you're getting from the prestige. No, not that much. Yeah. And then then getting offers to like pay to be on things is very interesting. Or a lot of those Harper's Bazaar magazines. I don't know if you've come across that stuff, but you pay to be on those. People pay to be on those now.

Did any of the girls there come from rich families? Did they want the association or did all of the women there have some sort of broken home or financial insecurity? I feel that we all came from broken homes. And I remember Hef's secretary saying to me one time that Hef chooses the broken ones. How did that make you feel? My heart sunk. Oh, that's me. If you could go back and marry Hef, would you do the same thing again? Oh my gosh. I don't think I would change what I went through. I think I could do things differently. I think toward the end, he started respecting me more. It took me leaving him for a year for him to have some respect for me. Toward the end, I took my implants

out. I stopped dying my hair. It was like dark and then white. I was just like, deal with it. And he respected me more. He would tell the staff if Crystal makes a request, treat it as if it's coming directly from me. Like, wow, maybe for once in his life, he has learned how to respect somebody else. Maybe. This is only taking him 90 years. Yeah. This is someone who would never see a therapist and thinks it's like woo woo stuff. But maybe after 90 years, he'd learned a lesson. I'd like to think so. Hope so. So you'd do it again because it made you who you are today. If somebody told me right now, hey, you're going to go do this again. I'd be like, no, no, no, no. I don't want

to, but if I had to, I would do it differently. So no therapy for half ever. Never. When did you start going to therapy? After I left the mansion, I watched the leaving Neverland documentary about Michael Jackson. And I saw Wade Robson on there talking about this Dr. Shaw, Dr. Shaw. And I thought, okay, high profile weirdness, like who is Dr. Shaw? I got to find this guy. So I found him, Dr. Larry Shaw. And I saw him for five years, and he completely helped me. There are terms now that I didn't have back then. I didn't really

know much about narcissism. And now there's a doctor that she goes around everywhere talking about narcissism and she's incredible. I just want to watch everything she talks about, explaining it in every different way. But I learned a lot about narcissism, misogyny, and boundaries. I didn't have any boundaries. Like what are boundaries? I didn't know what that was until just a few years ago. You and me both learned all these terms. It also puts a lot of this abuse, I guess, into perspective because you realize that this is pattern and when you can explain it, you can address it. Yeah. It makes it easier when you can put things into boxes and

compartmentalize. It makes me feel like less of a crazy person for having been there. Okay. How's manipulated. Do you give your former self some more compassion these days? Or do you think you're a crazy person? I still am told by my therapist, by my current boyfriend. Give yourself grace, Crystal. Don't beat yourself up about it. And how's that working? Trying. Work in progress. Yes. Hold on to your wallets. Money Rehab will be right back. I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash, but I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start or even too complicated if, say, you want to put your summer

home in Maine on Airbnb, but you live full time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a co-host network, which is a network of high quality local co-hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co-hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you. I always want to line up a reservation for my house when I'm traveling for work, but sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting

ready to travel always feels like a scramble, so I don't end up making time to make my house look guest-friendly. I guess that's the best way to put it. But I'm matching with a co-host, so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself. Find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host. One of the most stressful periods of my life was when I was in credit card debt. I got to a point where I just knew that I had to get it under control for my financial future and also for my mental health. We've all hit a point where we've realized it was time to make some serious money moves. So take control of your finances by using a Chime checking account with features like no maintenance fees, fee-free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early

with direct deposit. Learn more at Chime.com slash MNN. When you check out Chime, you'll see that you can overdraft up to $200 with no fees. If you're an OG listener, you know about my infamous $35 overdraft fee that I got from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it. If I had Chime back then, that wouldn't even be a story. Make your fall finances a little greener by working toward your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in just two minutes at Chime.com slash MNN. That's Chime.com slash MNN. Chime. Feels like progress.

Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. Members FDIC. SpotMe eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Booths are available to eligible Chime members enrolled in SpotMe and are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to Chime.com slash disclosures for details. And now for some more money rehab. some more money rehab. Let's go back for a second to the prenup. So you didn't negotiate a prenup. You found one lawyer who would finally do it, I guess, for publicity. Yeah. The Playboy machine, I don't know who came up with this prenup. It's about 40 pages.

And in the prenup, there are things down to you have no right to the Playboy bunny head logo, stuff like that. Like, wow, this is so awkward. It was the same prenup for all of his wives? I'm not sure. I did find some old paperwork from before. And I know he had a post-snap with his first wife and he was trying to undo that, but he couldn't. Yeah, it was about 40 pages. And I took it to an attorney that they recommended and they wouldn't sign it. Then I took it to somebody else and they signed it. And if you were to go back, would you have negotiated? Did you even know you could negotiate? I didn't know I could negotiate. And I don't think I would have at the time. I think that's still me being small and feeling like I could be replaced and

not worthy. In the prenup, did it also say that you would get nothing if you got divorced? I said that I waive all rights to, I don't know, whatever that is. Support after you're married. Spousal support. Spousal support, alimony. Yeah, I had to waive that. And what about when he died? Were you entitled to a percentage? Yeah, I had to waive that. And what about when he died? Were you entitled to a percentage? So when he got kinder, more gentle, and more respectful toward me,

he started saying things like, you know, I don't own this house. The company owns it now. Something happens to me, I want somewhere for you to go. Or if something happens and shit hits the fan, and because we don't own this house, maybe we can have a house that we can go to if we need to. so we did buy a mutual house in the hills for like five million and you sold it yes almost immediately I went to the house and it was public the address was public I had somebody sending flowers there and saying that they were driving from Florida so we could be together. I'm like, I got to get out of this house. I got to sell it. And my house now is smaller and more cozy, has a beautiful view of Los Angeles.

And I can see deer on the hill sometimes. And it's just the perfect size for me. Like I never felt comfortable in a 13,000 square foot mansion. It does. ever felt comfortable in a 13,000 square foot mansion. Who does? Like you need a little go-kart to get around or something like that. But it sounds like when you had the $5 million from the home or some proceeds from it or all of it. Yeah. Yeah.

So I ended up just selling it for the same price that we bought it for. And do you had a retirement fund from Playboy? So when I was, What did you get? While I was there, what I started to do was save. My mom's a real estate broker and my stepdad, Ted, the very nice one she ended up with, he was a vice president at Merrill Lynch in San Diego. And I would ask him just before I was 21, I moved to the mansion. I said, oh, how much money do you need to start a Merrill Lynch account? He said, $200,000. Like one day, I'll have $200,000.

Like one day. And I remember being at the mansion. Social media kind of started in 2009 or 8 was Twitter. And then Instagram like 2014, somewhere around there. And like, okay, well, I'm at the mansion and people want to pay attention to me by association. Like I'm going to try and make money here because I would see the girls buying the Range Rovers, the Louboutins and all these things. And I'm thinking they need to turn this into something. And this stuff is going to

lose value. I so grateful for that mindset that I had. I don't know where I got it from. Maybe it's from having nothing. Scarcity? Yeah, scarcity mindset for sure. So I started making money on social media. I was posting stupid things, skinny bunny tee, teeth white, stuff I wouldn't do now. There's no ads on my, there's barely any bikini photos on my Instagram now or no ads, but I made a few hundred thousand dollars a year doing that, just the social media. I learned how to DJ. And then with the parameters that I had, I had to be back movie night by six o'clock. So I would fly to Vegas, do like a 3.30 PM set at rehab at the hard rock at a pool party, hour and a half set, $7,500. I would do that every Saturday for the summer. I was like packing all

this money, packing all this money. And then I opened an LLC in secret and bought my first house in the Hills for like 1.2 million and ended up being able to pay that loan off, bought another one. So I was doing this all while I was there and have had no idea. Were you not allowed to make extra money? Probably not because I think he would feel I was pulling away from him. Or maybe if I told him about another house, he would think I was going to go meet a guy there. I wasn't sure what he thought. So I put a private company name that sounded like a man's name and I just kept it secret and started building money that way. When I Google myself or when things come up about finance stuff

or what I got and all this thing, I'm like, these people still have no idea. I hustled and it's important to hustle. Well, it's important, especially if you're in a financially abusive relationship, to try to have your own back and build your own nest egg. Yeah, if anything, begging for that allowance made me feel like I don't want to have to beg anyone for anything ever again the rest of my life. And I'm going to make sure that happens. and I'm going to make sure that happens. What would you say to other women who are trapped in financially controlling, abusive relationships to try and build their own financial independence?

I would tell them to get out as soon as they can. I have a friend right now that's in that type of situation. She has two children. It's very hard for her. And he'll give her money every once in a while and whatever he gives you, save. Save it all, save it all, save it all. See if you can do online work, see if you can do anything to just save your money and be able to eventually get out of there.

The women that I talk to who are in those situations, I do feel like there's a time where there's hiding and hoarding and secret accounts and secret LLC names and things like that before you can actually get out. There's a prep period. Yeah. And don't feel guilty for hiding anything. You'll just thank yourself later for sure. Was there anything that was found out during the time? Nothing. He didn't know about any of it. And I do remember toward the end, I don't know if it was Stockholm syndrome or what, but I remember talking to my mom and just feeling so trapped. And she said, you have enough money. You can leave. I can't leave him. He needs me. He's getting older. So your mom knew that you were start piling money or she, she was the only person I could confide in at the time. But at the point

where you received the couple hundred thousand dollars, which was your goal to, I guess, open a brokerage, which was awesome. It wasn't enough because it wasn't really about the money or the number in your bank. Would you ever feel because it wasn't really about the money or the number in your bank. Would you ever feel like it was going to be enough? I think it was mainly about the freedom. So I'm like, I need enough to where I don't have to worry about this the rest of my life. I need enough to where I don't need to rely on anyone or anything and just be actually free. What kind of stuff did you promote on social media? Oh, so I had to deal with this company called Skinny Bunny Tea that's probably now gone.

To lose weight. Yeah. Thinking back, I'm like, oh my gosh, here I am in my stupid bikini with this tea contributing to the problem. Like, oh, you need to lose weight. Or here's me in my TNA photos with my big old implants. It's ridiculous. It's disgusting. I can barely look back at photos of that. And I was contributing to the problem, but I've grown since then. And when you're at the

Playboy Mansion and when you're part of that misogyny, it's ingrained in a cellular level. So it definitely took time to be away from that and against it. Now, anything like that makes me very angry. So even when you were posting about skinny G on social media, he didn't know you were making money. Did he not realize? He didn't know because, well, at that time he's, you know, in his eighties and he wasn't much on social media.

I did start a Twitter account for him and he would write out his tweets and I'd type them up for him. He loved getting the replies because it was all like, you're the man. And reading through that, it's just so... For a narcissist, getting his ego stroked, he loved the Twitter responses. I remember one time somebody said, how do you get so many bitches? And J-Roe, what's his name? He's like, it's because I don't call them bitches, J-Roe. Here he is thinking he's like suave. And so like, oh my, oh my God, he had so much fun with Twitter. But by the time Instagram came around, he didn't pay any mind to it. So he had no idea. Maybe he would see a sexy photo. I would show

him every once in a while and be like, and he would be fine with the sexy photos or was that controlling too? He had naked photos of his ex-wife, Kimberly and Holly Bridget and Kendra, like all over the walls in his library. And that's people went in and out of those rooms during parties. So he was objectifying women and yeah he wanted to display everybody so I think he had no problem with the bikini photos I can't even imagine that when I moved into an ex's house all of his ex's stuff anything she touched I was like this is out but you couldn't you had naked photos of his ex wives up that you couldn't say anything about. I didn't say anything. They're just in the library. Like, isn't that strange? Somebody pointed out to me the other day,

Hef's kids, that's their mother. And they're going in and out of that house, seeing their mother naked on the wall. It's very strange. To say the least. Speaking of Kimberly, she said some pretty nasty things about your memoir recently that you did it for the money. Like she was part of that bandwagon of negativity. What would you

say to her? I think she had a much easier arrangement when she was there. Hef bought the home next door for her. So she got to still collect however much money she did and live next door. So she wasn't controlled as much. So I think that played a big part in it. And maybe she doesn't realize how bad she was objectified or maybe she was fine with it. I'm not sure, but it was a completely different time. I was there completely different timeframe than her. And I don't know, I kind of feel bad. And hopefully she's fine now where she's at. I only met her once. And my only other interactions were the photos that were everywhere. So you met her once, but you've seen a lot of her. Yeah. I just like, I'm like, I don't even want to think. I'm like, I just like picture like her.

It's like you're with the boobs on display and everything in the house. I'm like, oh my God, this is weird. It's like naked photos of so many people everywhere. Do you talk to the other women? Are you friends with these women? I hope to be friendly with all of them. I talk to Kendra the most and I know she had a hard time. I recently started talking to the twins again. They've been through a hard time. They just got out of rehab. I think it affected us all more than we thought it did. Maybe Kimberly too. Sounds like it's a process of lifelong therapy, to say the least. Hold on to your wallets. Money Rehab will be right back. And now for some more Money Rehab will be right back. And now for some more Money Rehab.

I know you're also in the process of taking back your maiden name, Harris. Yes. How's that going? It hasn't gone yet because I was in therapy for five years and then started writing this book two years ago. When we got married, his office staff changed my name to Hefner almost immediately. He wanted it right away. I had a friend that got married shortly after and she asked me, oh, how do I change my name? I have no idea.

It was all done for me. So I will figure out how to change it back. I need to figure out also the social media aspect of it because Crystal Hefner on social media and then it's like okay I got to figure out where Harris is and how to put that on so it's a process people need to be patient with me I know and it's also my own life and choice and all of that so do you need help I know some folks at Instagram you do yeah okay let's do it I think I have the Crystal Harris. Handle. For Twitter or X, but I would love Instagram help.

Okay. Thank you. That's really sweet. And that's just one part of the identity that you're trying to shed, right? You're also trying to go less blonde. Yeah. Now I just kind of highlight my natural hair and I remove my implants whatever I could do to take off that costume did it feel like a costume a mask yeah yeah I mean I look at old photos of

myself with the bleach bond hair and those big implants look like props it looks like a sex doll from China if I'm being totally honest okay it. It's enough of that. How did I let myself look like that? And what happened to the ring? Goodness. I still have it. It's in my safe. Did you try to sell it? No, I haven't. It's hard to sell an engagement ring. But I don't know. People make all these price guesses and all this. It's from Discount Valley Jeweler. I mean, I don't know if we want to shout them out or not but it's like nothing was what it seemed there like it was a discount it's really not that nice of a ring interesting how many carrots was it like three maybe but the prong thing that's like

holding it it's like so bulky that stone's kind of hard to see it's awkward I think there's a picture in the book of the ring it's not very pretty you didn't get it appraised no are you gonna sell it I don't know I don't know what to do with it I mean it's hard to sell it I was reading too that during the time at the mansion a foreign prince called your mom non-stop what was the story there? Yes. And offered you 400k if you traveled? I'm afraid if I say it, I'll get killed or something. It's a very famous prince. He's very, very well known. I remember meeting him at a birthday party. I was with Hef when I met him and he was friendly with Hef. And once I left the mansion, I got called from the palace or whatever. They actually called my mother and they said, we'd like your daughter to come and do promotions for us over in this place. And we will give her

$400,000 to come and do promotions. Promotions obviously is a code word for sex or going to meet this person, maybe to go see if they like me. But I remember being at this party and seeing this person and they were on the step and repeat taking photos with guests. And every time I would look over, our eyes would meet and it would be staring

and it was awkward. Yeah, I think he just wanted to meet me once I left the Playboy Mansion. It sounds like he wanted to buy you. Potentially the $400,000 promo. But by that time, I had already started dating Dr. Phil's son, Jordan. So I was like, oh, I made a relationship. I'm not going to go over.

But then again, when you go over to a different country, it's like all their rules. What if your passport gets taken? I don't know. I think it's easy to guess who he was. My foreign prince trivia is not very strong, so I don't know if I can guess. It sounds kind of like a Nigerian prince. I'll tell you after. So when you were dating Jordan, were you feeling like a rich man was going to fix your life and your problems?

I went from one trap to another. He was just this rich, spoiled kid that had daddy's Amex and spent it on whatever. I don't know if you know them or the family or anything. You talk about them a lot in the book. Yeah, they were one of the reasons for leaving the mansion. in the book. Yeah, they were one of the reasons for leaving the mansion. And I went and sat down with Dr. Phil and trusted him and didn't realize he was just trying to get a girl for his son. And when we started dating, he said, oh, my son bagged himself a playmate. I'm like, oh, okay, cool. Back in the same problem that I already had. But yeah, it was hard. They're people who just pay for everything, pay for their friends.

And I went from a place where, you know, Hef's surrounded by yes people. And so when I was with Jordan and he's paying for all of his friends all the time for all the meals, I'm like, why don't you see who your friends really are and let them take the tab? And then I became the enemy. And yeah, Dr. Phil has shows on enabling children and not spoiling them and all that stuff. But then in real life, he was doing the opposite. It's very weird. So that was a different kind of financial control dynamic or was he supporting you? It sounds like. I had had some money saved at that time, but I could not keep up with their level of excess. It was so weird. I can't even, I remember spending

Thanksgiving and Jordan was like, oh, at 1230, they have the people that don't have families. And then our dinner's at four. Like, oh my God, that's so sweet. People that don't have families. And you know, I go over there at 1230. I'm like, oh, I want to meet those people. And it's like the golf instructor and all those people. This is so weird. Thought you were going to a soup kitchen. Yeah. I thought there was going to be more giving back than there was. And I help a lot of animal charities, but if I was in the billions, I'd be stopping the carriages in Central Park and all this stuff that just hasn't been done yet. But yeah, it was hard.

That family was a little tough. What's your relationship with money like now? Oh my gosh. I still have that fear that it's all going to go away. It's very strange. Yeah. I wish I could tell you that it goes away, but I don't think it ever goes away

when you grow up with a bunch of financial trauma and insecurity. Yeah. It doesn't really have to do with what's in your bank account. Yeah. Bigger than that. Yeah. How do you talk to your current significant other about money? The person I'm dating, newly, it's still kind of new. It's more equal financially. So I think that's important because I've gone the other way. I've dated struggling musicians, actors, and found myself in situations where I'm like, wow,

they're manipulating me and controlling me and I'm paying all the bills. So you supported them recently in the last couple of years? Yeah. Big mistake. Don't ever do that. So the pendulum swung completely to the other direction. Yeah. Yeah. So I guess I had to test that out for a while. I thought, oh, as long as one of us can afford it, then we'll be fine. Not the case. Resentment builds quick. Money is the number one cause of issues in any relationship. What do you think is a healthy financial dynamic now in a romantic relationship?

I think taking turns, paying for things and yeah, try and make things as even as possible. Would you get married again? I would love to, for real. Would you sign a prenup? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I would, I don't. Or would you have someone else sign a prenup? Potentially. That's taking back your power.

What is the divorce rates? Like 60% now. It's like back your power. It's like, what is the divorce rate? It's like 60% now. It's like higher than ever. So yeah, I would sign a mutual prenup for sure. Like protecting yourself. Yeah. It sounds like you've built up your own net worth now. Yeah, I'm very proud. I own six properties right now between California and Hawaii and have a farm. And I want that farm

forever. I don't want anyone to take this from me. And you're invested. It sounds like you have a brokerage account. Did you open up that Merrill Lynch account? Yes, I did. And I was lucky because he gave me an employee account, whatever that means. And it just has been going up ever since. And I'm grateful. Do you know what's in there? Yeah, I do. So it's mostly, there's different ones where it's like a group of stocks all in one. And so we'll put money in there and then it comes due and we sell and then we buy more. But a lot of stocks I'm invested in are things I personally love.

Disney is one, Apple's another. And then for the stocks that are more volatile, I have Robinhood for Tesla and those things. Okay, Crystal. Then I have my crypto account. You do. So I have NFTs and I have Ethereum and Bitcoin. You have a Coinbase account? Yes. Awesome. Yeah, it's fun. Did you ever think that you would be an investor? Never. Do you wish you invested more earlier? Absolutely.

I think everybody does. Is that the story everyone wishes? If you could go back, I'm sure, to talk to your 21-year-old self, what would you say? I would say, yeah, invest in different things. I don't know when cryptocurrencies started. I know lots of Bitcoin millionaires and billionaires and it's been a little bit in all different places and you never know what's going to happen. That's perfect. In so many ways. You said on Instagram that everyone watching your life right now, there's a season two coming out, so to speak. What does

that look like? Oh my gosh. Yeah. I think, you know, it's just going to be more in the healing and wellness era of my life, more farm stuff, more nature things. And, you know, I'm having to talk about all of this past stuff recently, lately, you know, I'm just thinking of it. It is triggering, but I'm thinking of it as just showing up, showing up for anybody that I can help along the way. And I had a book signing last night at Barnes & Noble. There was a big turnout and a lot of people said that the book has really helped them. And I appreciate that. It's doing really well and it's great, but I'm very much looking forward to getting back to a mellow, calm life. EMDR is great for that, by the way, if you've ever tried that type of trauma therapy.

Yeah, yeah. We end our episodes by asking our guests for a tip that listeners can take straight to the bank. Is there any final piece of advice that you would give somebody who feels like they're in a financially abusive relationship? And a lot of abusive relationships generally stem from financial abuse or have a financial component to them. Yeah, I think any amount that you can invest, big or small,

just start stashing it away and don't feel guilty and just start building a nest egg for yourself because once that grows, you become more powerful. And when you come into your own power, nobody can take that from you.

What does financial freedom or financial independence look like for you? For me, it's being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. Being able to just jump on a plane and go meet my friends wherever they are, not having to answer to anyone anymore and being able to do what I want day in

and day out. I mean, money is power. I hate cliches, but it is. It's true. It's power to say no to abuse. Yeah, it's freedom. It's definitely freedom. You have more choice when you have more money. Choose your own adventure. Yeah. Money Rehab is a production of Money News Network i'm your host nicole lappen money rehab's executive producer is morgan lavoie our researcher is emily holmes do you need some money rehab and let's be honest we all do so email us your money questions money rehab at money news network.com to potentially have your questions answered on the show or even have a one-on-one intervention with me and follow us on Instagram at Money News

and TikTok at Money News Network for exclusive video content. And lastly, thank you. No, seriously, thank you. Thank you for listening and for investing in yourself, which is the most important investment you can make. Thank you.