Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin - "It was terrifying." Maks Chmerkovskiy on Fleeing Ukraine One Year Ago

Episode Date: February 24, 2023

Today marks the one-year anniversary of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. In this episode, Nicole sits down with Maks Chmerkovskiy, who was in Ukraine when the war broke out. Before February 2022, Maks was known as a Ukrainian-born, fan-favorite Dancing with the Stars alum… but when he was stuck in Ukraine following the breakout of the war, he became the window into the conflict for many of us in America. He tells Nicole what it was like fleeing the country, and what we can do now to help the people who couldn't leave. To learn more about Maks' aid work, click here: https://www.instagram.com/baranova27/ To learn more about Bethenny Frankel's aid work Maks references, click here: https://bethenny.com/bstrong

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Find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host. I'm Nicole Lappin, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. It's time for some money rehab. Today marks the one year anniversary of Russia's invasion of Ukraine. And today I'm talking with someone who was actually there in Ukraine when the war broke out. Max Smirkovsky. Before February 2022, Max was known as a Ukrainian-born fan favorite, Dancing with the Stars alum. But when he was stuck in

Ukraine following the breakout of the war, he became the window into the conflict for many of us in America. And inadvertently, he also became the focus of complicated conversations at the intersection of privilege and conflict. Conversations that he has used for good. Here's our conversation. Welcome to Money Rehab. Thank you. On this anniversary, can you believe that this has been a year? No. No, I cannot.

For those who don't know, you were in Ukraine filming, right, when the invasion happened. So what can you tell us about what February 24th was like? Terrifying. It was terrifying. It was 5 a.m. My friend called. My phone is like off the hook. So I got up.

I looked down. It's like 5 in the morning. My friend in Kiev tells me, so just pack your bags. Just chill. Be very calm. I i'm like what are you talking about it's like the war has begun but just become like images i get chill still it's it was that the war has begun and i was like oh my god and that and then it it was stress that i kind of never felt before in a way of like you know I'm all about the body and sort of the way things happen naturally and react like I had this I don't want to say it but like I've never smelled myself in my life ever and it was like I was there for eight days before I was able

to take a train ride out and I remember through it all I'm like I'm just I'm like oh my god I'm just under so much stress. It's insane. So that's how it felt the whole time. But outside of that, it was just stressful because for the first time, so I travel all the time. I can always come home. I can always come home no matter what. I don't have a plane ticket.

Here's a credit card. Here's a ticket, something else. I'm always coming home. I could not come home. This was the most terrifying realization that when it when i realized i just can't get out that's instead like i can't get out but it's not guaranteed you'll be on the road to poland from kiev which you usually takes it's like you know 10 hours 11 hours or People were standing there for what was like two and a half days, running out of gas, starting to walk. Some people on the side of the road laying down, just freezing.

It was just insane. There was shooting. There was like checkpoints. I mean, it just got really out of hand. So that situation, the stress with not being able to get out, with the fact that it's not you know aggressive behavior this is a full-out full-out war like world war ii like history book stuff you know i ended up in the situation in hindsight that was very safe i was with group of people that were you know part

of media and i was in a hotel but i was in a space that was kind of like Switzerland in the middle of Kiev where all the international media would have been but then I realized I'm a block away from Zelensky office where all of this is coming to so I really need to go and the day that I actually made my move to the train station and got out was when I started to get, I had new contacts that I made, like all these like ex-Massad and ex-CI operatives that were working with these sort of like, they were like now for hire kind of like people,

the guides within that situation. And so they're all texting me like, you need to go tonight, like right now. And so when that started coming in, I'm like, okay, I gotta get out. It sounds like those days were just full of adrenaline. Oh my God. It's one thing. We all know somebody who is an active soldier or, you know, your uncle or cousin or whatever military, you know, duty of duty type of situation. I have never met until then a soldier who's in the middle

of the war is a completely different person. They have the different look in their eyes. They're there for a completely different reason. And I am none of those people. You, me, him, we are not that person. I had an amazing relationship with those people. I've gotten back to Ukraine through TV opportunities 11 years ago. You know, I rekindled, I was a 14-year-old that left the country that I was not sure where we're going, where we're going. I did not have a great time, you know, getting into the United States lifestyle. My brother was eight. He kind of like jumped in and here he was. I remember nine months later, I still don't speak English. here he was. I remember nine months later, I still don't speak English. I'm 15 now. I'm a teenager. I'm six foot one already. You know what I mean? Like, so I already stand out, but I can't open my mouth. I'm in the back of the class. I have no confidence. I literally haven't spoken until

Dancing with the Stars. So, you know, all of those things happen. And I now in my mid-20s, all of those things happen and I now in my mid-20s realizing that maybe I also have a problem with the fact that you know what is my heritage where am I from where are my roots you know I mean so things like that so Ukraine for me through Dancing with the Stars and then the opportunities on TV and then I started coming back and I started realizing these are my people closer to than some of the immigrant you know generation that I grew up with because we were from everywhere you know but this is where I'm from and so it feels very kind of very uh you know personal to me right so now we're talking a decade of relationships of relationship building of having you know friendships that are on this level and when the war started I was there for

about six months or seven months before that filming Dancing with the Stars I was a judge on Dancing with the Stars so that's a live show once a week for like 14 weeks. So I spend a lot of time in Kiev, a lot of time in Ukraine in general. So now I'm having all of these relationships, all these TV relationships, TV friendships. And I'm seeing these dancers that I just judged on Dancing with the Stars at Frontline and I'm like I can't put that together and so you know I feel like but I'm also part of that same group of people you know so that was the you know confusion for me and inside of me and I needed to deal with that and I dealt with it on my own like it's time multiplied by keep looking at the what's in

front of you. The closest to me is my six year old, my wife. And that's it. And just to clarify, you mean the people you're working with on TV, there are all the men had to get called up. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So that's what I mean. Yes. So you were one of the few men on the train, or if the only men I was, oh my god i i was so so i had i had that realization when i got on train and the way i got on it again they just literally shoved the it was me and maybe like two other people with different passports right so we were three or four those and they're like go and they're gonna like shove this in which we got in and i remember it's like a tiny train wagons that designed for like maybe 30 people and um the guy that was that walked in he's like

i'm gonna have to have 130 heads in this wagon i was like i'm real clear i'm like where are they gonna go there was 132 people when it was said and done. And it looked like, like the zombie run. The only thing I can compare it to the whole thing was shaking. People will let into run. If you make it, you make it,

you know? So this is a long conversation because a lot of stuff happened. The moms losing their kids, the, the, the, you know, the getting separated,

the fact that there was me and maybe like another guy around you know on the other side of the train and i was judging the entire train ride 27 hours i was like this guy is inside the train and on the bed and and i had taken my backpack put myself in in between the wagons so i was like you, you know, in like a freezing temperature. So the ladies would like, hey, come on in. I would be let in, you know, pass me sandwiches, stuff like that. I would eat my sandwich, stand there, and I'd like walk back out. Because there was literally no room to lay down on the floor, to sit, nothing.

So, you know, just a lot of that stuff. It's just PTSD, and it's just a lot of that stuff you know it's just ptsd and it's just a it's just dramatic experience well you've talked about the ptsd for when you left ukraine i'm sure that that was all triggered last year yeah and it was triggered last night to be honest with you like yesterday i was sitting and you know just texting my friends very small group of people you know and i'm like and i didn't understand why and i felt like i, you know, and I'm like, and I didn't understand why. And I felt like I needed to let this out. I'm like, listen, I'm sorry, but you guys going to be it. It's the one year anniversary. For me, it's just unfathomable that

we're still sitting here because my communication is, again, I have few friends, not speaking for the whole Ukraine, but the few friends that are actively right there in, what is it, like line zero type of stuff, you know, going in and out. Some are able to come back and have communication. Some I haven't spoken to in months. You know, it's the reality. And I'm like, there is a generation of people that are getting hurt, you know, that are dying, that are getting affected. And this is unfair. You've done so much work to do what you could your own part, you went to Poland to help

with aid efforts, you started the organization for tons of aid to Ukraine, you helped build homes for displaced families, you started a mobile app, right? It's not enough you know and because it's so first of all thank you but it's not for that this wasn't it you know i support non-profits for the last decade and a half the best way that i can and i do it as much as i can this was not our profession so we started it because it was like we all felt terrible and you know teary-eyed and you know emotional but in the process we're learning that the negatives of it all too you know how hard it is you know to continue first of all how hard it is we look look at the times that we live in and at that time i'm supposed to go out and try to you know get people to donate the little bits here and there just so that we can build that house.

So I believe in doing all you can, do your best, do what you can. Gladly will lend my hand to whoever's listening and have a nonprofit or have some kind of fundraiser. Hit me up. I'll DM you. I'll post about it. But the problem is nowadays there's so much nasty stuff going on as well. People try to benefit even on warfare. So that's why I try to stick to very reliable sources. And for example, you know, Bethany Frankel is somebody I'm close with. She hooked me up with Michael Caponi, who runs a nonprofit called Global Empowerment

Missions. Talk about somebody who got hundreds of millions of dollars immediately, you know, dedicated and continue to support, like, I i mean it's just pushing massive amounts of humanitarian aid you know i believe in organizations like that that do massive things that use their financial know-how to build infrastructure that actually makes a difference on a level that you can feel 200 million dollars you can feel it a couple of thousand not sure we did a big thing in the very beginning a hundred percent we put we pulled off unreasonable numbers of humanitarian aid collected by volunteers in fort lee new jersey like 500 000 pounds or something more more it just keeps going we

already stopped it a long time ago but we keep shipping um you know you don't think every little bit matters of course and what would you say so if somebody's listening and and wants to help what was your message give money somewhere somebody else don't do it yourself you're gonna waste money just give just do your research don't put it into like you know i i there was some a-list celebrities that started doing fundraisers through some kind of fundraising platforms. Let's just be vague about this. And so you put together $42 million and you don't know that 18% goes away before you even blink. To the overhead.

And why would you want to do that? Why would you want to raise so much money only to give away such a big chunk? Like, I don't get it. So, you know, it's just you're actually financing more of that stuff to be out there. Well, I think anything you do with your money is a vote. Oh, yeah. Right? Yeah, that's a great, that's, yeah.

You know, I'm single issue voter on this thing. I just want Ukraine to survive, stand its ground, get its territory back. thing. I just want Ukraine to survive, stand its ground, get its territory back. And it will prove to the US consumer that this friend that you just gained in Eastern Europe, central most, most powerful army today. I mean, you need that friend. And it's not world policing. It's just making correct relationships. They speak your language. They're the same people you hire and outsource for your finances and website building and marketing needs and YouTube, whatever it is, monetization.

Those are the Ukrainians. They're the front of most of the things. So you're going to see what that partnership is like. And so I can't wait for that type of win for Ukraine because Ukraine cannot wait to give back. This is the person that I think they are. The country. As a country, yeah, 100%.

And so that's why it's going to be a beautiful place to visit, to see, to be a part of, to have a relationship with. And as an American, I think we're going to earn the right to be welcomed into this country and be like, you know, thank you. Thank you for what this support was and how it was and, you know, what it did. Hold on to your wallets. Money Rehab will be right back.

I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash, but I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start or even too complicated if, say, you want to put your summer home in Maine on Airbnb, but you live full time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a co-host network, which is a network of high-quality local co-hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co-hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your reservations,

messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you. I always want to line up a reservation for my house when I'm traveling for work, but sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always feels like a scramble so I don't end up making time to make my house look guest-friendly. I guess that's the best way to put it. But I'm matching with a co-host so I can still make that extra cash

while also making it easy on myself. Find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host. And now for some more money rehab. I'm going to stud that Zelinsky, man. What a stud. He's a great guy. You know that show that he came? I know.

Tell me more about it. This guy is a comedian. I didn't know that. Straight up. He's a comedian. And some time ago, he's just a comedian doing his thing. And then he's a comedian and some time ago he's just a comedian doing his thing and then he's becoming a prominent comedian and obviously somebody who you know has a bit know-how you know in business and

all that so he starts his own production company and you know he created a uh comedy network like something like an snl you know what i mean like one of those like saturday night life type of situations like variety show yeah variety show where everybody comes in all the comedians and then so he his production company is popping off so then he's entered you know the movie sphere and then this reality not reality that this tv series comes out where he's called um people's servant servant of people of the people or whatever it is which by the way is the name of this political party, the exact same name. And so he created this show, the sitcom,

where he's a starting character, and he's a regular person who just by accident somehow gets, I didn't watch the show, who gets elected to be the president. Just, I don't know, somehow it just happened. In the midst of the Ukrainian nonsense on the political level since the 90s where it was just a lot of finances into pro-russian bullshit politics on that government level the people in ukraine when there was a poll were asked who is your ideal president and they said said, this freaking guy. That's amazing.

And they called him by his whatever stage name. That guy is my president. This is who I want in my office. This is who I want to come from, like where my president to come from. I don't want a president like the guy that was at some point when I was there shooting Bachelor and he was building,

in a broke country, he was building a helipad for $100 million smack in the middle of the Kiev. And I'm like, that's not the president you want. So this would be like the West Wing president. Right. But there was the first time on the television. It's a big hit. Everybody's watching.

They're like, that's who I want as my president. He won't buy a landslide. He won't buy a landslide. No questions asked. that's the dude and you can't you can you can find dirt and he's getting you know i'm sure put a dossier on you know i'm saying you know how it is the opposition and all this stuff oh you know it's a money laundering and this and the other look the reality is that this dude is for a year in freaking office you know i'm saying with a target on his back by some of the most powerful you know i look at putin like the worst

horrible bad guy in a 007 movie that's ever been created like this is this just a movie we're watching you could say what you want but this dude two minutes ago was just me and you and somebody else on tv trying to create a successful podcast no no he was like you i'm actually seeing some stark similarities here so he was on a popular show hold on and people loved him he was beloved i'm gonna tell it right now i will never run for political i was gonna say never but don't do not in my in my prime minister look nothing I'm gonna say right now in my life most of the stuff that I said I will never do like I said dancing I swear to god I was going for chemistry and bio that's it I was gonna be a pharmacist I care nothing about dance. I sucked at dance.

It was not my thing. I did not like it. I also didn't wanna smile and do the cha-cha. I was terrified. We can talk about my childhood and all that. I wanted to do chemistry and biology. That's it. And then you did dancing,

and now you don't wanna do politics. Because I said I will never do it. Exactly. No, I'm never doing politics. Stop it. 100%. 1,000 million. Your wife is pregnant.

As she's calling, I'm just like, is it time? When is she to actually do? Later. We're halfway through. Okay. You know, we're lucky with this one. Thank you so much. I'm so excited for you guys.

I read how difficult the fertility journey has been. Do you think some of that was contributed to you by the stress of ukraine she went to visit me in october in kiev and we got pregnant in kiev we got pregnant and had another miscarriage shortly after it was terrible and so she lost that one too so it was like it wasn't about no i mean it was again it was i think fourth third at that time miscarriage miscarriage then we had decided we had decided peter decided that this that that she wanted to do an ivf and it didn't work and to watch her you know having made that ivf decision and be public about it and how beautiful it was the processes of it you know and watching

her be sort of like content like this is obviously a sure thing and then it didn't work it was the most devastating ever and so what happened she had the news on monday picked up the phones had the horrible 24 hours picked up the phone called the you horrible 24 hours. Picked up the phone, called the casting director, who I'll always be grateful for, for that alone. Not even the last 20 years, but for that alone. And she's like, I want my job back. She's like, you're in. On Thursday, she met her partner, was on Dancing with the Stars.

And four weeks later, we got pregnant. Didn't even know about it. So it's, again, like, you know, when you chill and when you chill and you come and you happy you know beautiful things happen so the stress of ukraine didn't affect your relationship of course it did i mean she spent like um you know the whole time i was there she was on the couch i don't think she slept for like eight days it did we were stressed the miscarriages happened it was not the one that happened over over the summer through this process i mean it was just nonsense we are we are now slowly coming out of some of the most stressful years that i've ever had and it was years i mean again for probably everybody but

damn you need stamina and you have it i I think immigration really reinforces a lot of things, and it gives you that opportunity to kind of probably turn the other cheek to some of the life stuff. Let's talk about when the conflict ends, because I'm hopeful it will. Will you go back? Will you take your kids back? I cannot wait. Okay. I cannot wait.

So I can't wait. I would have gone back already. One of my friends is back and forth in the front. We had actually plans for a show. He's a TV personality as well. And we had a project in the works that we started right as it all happened. And, you know, I can't wait to get back to that. I can't wait to get back to, you know, wait to get back to that I can't wait to get back to you know my dancing the stars so you know world of dance families I can't you know that some of the people that I met to work with the producers the directors the stagehands the camera guys I mean you know the the dancing in that place is just you know

that we always attach art to something that you go through on a personal level can you imagine art coming out of that place yeah art imitating that life you know or or just or or just art driven by real emotions you you know and i'm not saying us is all that i am in love with this place this is home this is forever home and am in love with this place. This is home. This is forever home. And I'm grateful to this country. It's not a freaking promotion. I'm telling you this how I feel because in people who ever say anything against this place, go to anywhere else on the, on the planet. I promise anywhere on the planet, no matter how beautiful it is, you know, there's this joke. It's a, it's a long joke, but the punchline is don't confuse vacation with immigration.

The tools and opportunities that this place gives you, I'm a forever advocate. So if you look back at the year, what a crazy year it's been. Do you have a few like summary words that you would describe what that experience is like now that you've done all this work and have this perspective? That was the most, you know, to avoid clich cliched most growth I've probably ever had in one calendar year again we did go through a lot of stuff as a family and you know personally I went through a lot of things that maybe most of the people don't go don't get to I just I you know I learned also how to appreciate what you have, you know, because we just say it with some TikTokable, you know, hashtag, you know, popular hashtag. But the reality is, you know,

this year just showed also what kind of people that there are. And I'm going to have to give this homage to the Ukrainians, you know, and I'm not saying have to give this homage to the Ukrainians, you know, and I'm not saying that they're only once, but I'm saying that that's an example and I think it's going to go a long way, you know, for the rest of the world, like looking in, like, wait a minute. It ain't about the size, you know, geographically. You know, it's about what's on the inside.

To be fair, did any of us know what kind of warfare can there be nowadays? No, we didn't. Now we're looking at the most warfare there can possibly be. So if that's what it is, and what's required is a little bit of money, a lot of money, but you know,

and a lot of bit of heart, because US, nobody would have been helping that place regardless of where it is geographically if the people didn't stand up yeah what ukraine lacks in money they make up in heart for sure well we wouldn't have invested the entire world is investing let's it's a bad dirty word but you you know we're here and that's all it is people are investing you asked me before what what is it like when ukraine wins it's a center of the economic boom it's definitely the most desirable geographical location on earth to be a part of you asking me if i want

to come back hell yeah i want to come back i want to be part of the rebuild i want to be part of you know use me take you know whatever you need me to do. I'm here. Listen, I'm allergic to cliches normally. But if growth is a cliche, then sign me up for that one. For sure. And also appreciate. I mean, if we use our finance lens, because that's where we're at right now. If you appreciate, then it appreciates and it grows, right? Oh, yeah.

Oh. Yeah. You appreciate and it appreciates. Yeah. Money Rehab is a production of Money News Network. I'm your host, Nicole Lappin. Money Rehab's executive producer is Morgan Lavoie. Our researcher is Emily Holmes. Do you need some money rehab? And let's be honest, we all do. So email us your money questions, moneyrehab at moneynewsnetwork.com to potentially have your questions answered on the show or even

have a one-on-one intervention with me. And follow us on Instagram at Money News and TikTok at Money News Network for exclusive video content. And lastly, thank you. No, seriously, thank you. Thank you for listening and for investing in yourself, which is the most important investment you can make.