Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin - Kate Somerville on Choosing a Path and Learning from Scams (Change Maker)

Episode Date: August 21, 2023

Originally aired on 10.29.21 For most of her childhood, Kate Somerville struggled with the tumultuous hand she was dealt. Then, in one moment, she received advice that turned her life around. Listen to hear that advice, and how it led to her starting her eponymous skincare brand. Want to start investing, but don't know where to begin? Go to moneyassistant.com and meet Magnifi, your AI money assistant, designed to help you make a plan for your financial goals. Want one-on-one money coaching from Nicole? Book a meeting with her here: intro.co/moneynewsnetwork 

I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash. But I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start, or even too complicated, if, say, you want to put your summer home in Maine on Airbnb, but you live full-time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a co-host network, which is a network of high quality local co-hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co-hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you.

I always want to line up a reservation for my house when I'm traveling for work, but sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always feels like a scramble so I don't end up making time to make my house look guest-friendly. I guess that's the best way to put it. But I'm matching with a co-host so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself.

Find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host. Hey guys, are you ready for some money rehab? Wall Street has been completely upended by an unlikely player, GameStop. Are you ready for some money rehab? Wasting our time. I will take a check. Like an old school check. You recognize her from anchoring on CNN, CNBC, and Bloomberg. The only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. Nicole Lappin. As you know, on Money Rehab, we feature changemakers, public figures making change in every sense of the word,

and along the way have been in or might still be in money rehab. Today I'm talking to Kate Somerville, the founder and namesake, of course, of the skincare brand. Kate is a really smart, savvy entrepreneur. And I'm excited to have her on the show because I always learn something each time I talk to her. But I also wanted to have her on the show because she has such an inspiring story. She was dealt a really difficult hand early in life, but in the span of one crucial moment, she decided to try to turn her life around. And she did. I think her story is helpful for those who are going through something challenging or for anyone who has made it through a challenging time and is still healing from the battle wounds. But I'll let her tell it. So Kate, welcome to Money

Rehab. So before we dive in, we start with a quick round of Money Rehab Never Have I Ever. Have you played Never Have I Ever before? I have not, so I'm excited to play it. Okay, good. Well, normally it has alcohol involved, but unfortunately we don't have that now. So if you have done something, just say, I have. And if you haven't, just say, I haven't. Okay, great. I'm ready. Never have I ever negotiated a contract.

I have. Never have I ever opened an IRA? I have. Never have I ever overdrafted? Oh, I have. Yes. Never have I ever bought a lottery ticket? I have. Never have I ever written a will. I have written a will, yeah. Never have I ever invested in cryptocurrency. I have. You have? To my 19-year-old son, yeah. Never have I ever had buyer's remorse.

Oh, I've had buyer's remorse. And I have a story for you because I, we just just got my husband and I got scammed for the first time and we feel like we feel really stupid. So I'll tell you about that story maybe in this podcast so people can watch out for it. help others because the scammers are getting so smart. By the way, I did ambush a scammer on this show. It was hilarious. Never have I ever argued with a romantic partner about money. We have, but we were a team. You know, we, we, if, if he wants to do something, we mull it over. We're a really good team and we don't hide stuff from each other. That's the other thing. So we're super transparent. Never have I ever founded a company. I have founded a company, actually several. So, yep. So Kate, tell me about this scam. I grew up water skiing. Like I love being on a boat.

Like it's just kind of my thing, right? I love being in a lake. I love Lake Powell. And so my husband went to surprise me with a ski boat. And he went and researched. He's a big time researcher on like, he's bought all of our cars and our motorcycles and cause we're kind of active family. And, um, he bought this boat and it was on boat trader and he was messaging with the

guy and talk to, talk to him a couple of times. They had an elaborate website and we ordered it. We wired the money and they said, okay, it'll be there in five days. We paid shipping and we got a notice the next day because it didn't show up. And I instantly was like, there's something really wrong. And then they emailed us back and said, the boat has been in an accident. No need to do anything. Insurance is going to take care of it. You'll have your money refunded within five days. All the websites got taken down except the boat trader ad. It's still up. We contacted boat trader and we lost all of our money. And there's no recourse. We called the FBI because it's interstate. And this literally just happened last week. And last night, my husband bought us another boat

and it arrived today. So the boat situation, I have buyer's remorse. It kicks my husband more. He can't sleep. He's like, I can't believe this happened. So just be careful out there. It's getting really complicated. There's multiple people. My son went online. He's really good online. And he found out that the scammer was going to the Phoenix library. And the Phoenix library, that's where they're doing their computer work so nobody can trace them. They closed the account.

As soon as the money hit, they closed the account, Wells Fargo account. And it's gone. And all we did was make a report to the FBI. But my accountant's like, there's so many of these going on right now, especially through COVID and especially through RVs, boats, trailers, because there's been this uptick and everybody wanting to find something to do instead of travel. So boat trader is having a problem keeping these things off, off their site. So be careful you guys. And, um, it was a considerable amount of money. So, um, and it's gone. Like there's no recourse for us apparently. And Wells Fargo didn't help you? Nothing.

Nobody has helped us. Ah, yeah. Yeah. So what would be the tip to give others looking for a big purchase online? Well, the sad thing is, is you can't even, you can't, you have go see the boat, like for us or whatever you're purchasing, go see it, make sure it exists because, and, and look online. Like If my husband would have dug a little bit more online, there were keys to like, this was a scam. This was too good to be true because the boat was priced really good. So if it's too good to be true, don't do it. The other thing I can say is this boat was in apparently in Florida and the boat that we bought was in Florida. And so that's the hard part, but if you can make sure it's a true owner

and you speak to the owner. Yeah. So just, just follow and do your research, like check the ad to see if there's any kind of scam things, because a lot of people have been scammed by this, this ring. Um, there was hundreds of people. Um, and you know, for me, I, I'm so grateful that I'm a financially. Okay. But some of these people, this was a lot of money to us for sure, and it stung and it was awful. But some of these people are losing money that they really can't afford to lose. So just be careful out there. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much for that cautionary tale. And your namesake company, of course, starts with such an inspiring story. It is truly, Kate, a real life example of how someone can defy difficult circumstances. We've talked about this before, but I'd love if you can share your story

with our audience because I think it can speak to a lot of people. Can you tell me about your family life growing up? I grew up two parents, both teachers. Mom at nine left my dad and I stayed with my dad because my mom was definitely going down an unstable path and she became a severe alcoholic. And when I say like severe, like I didn't know the bottom could be the bottom. Like I thought the bottom was, you know, several layers before it got to such crazy bottom. But my mom ended up homeless, not a tooth in her head. There was times where I would drive by and she was on a bus stop, like literally out of her mind. I grew up very tumultuous. I had to live with her every other weekend.

And then finally, my dad saw it was just too dangerous. You know, I was in really tough situations. And I had to watch her disintegrate. and I had to watch her disintegrate. So she died. It was so crazy because she died right as I was... My business, Kate Somerville, had just been picked to go into the Oscar bag. So my mom was such a bad alcoholic. I put her through three rehabs. They never stuck. And she was an amazing woman. She had her master's degree. She was a teacher. She was super artistic. And the alcohol and drugs just took her. And my dad was this strong character. He was a football coach. And he remarried when I was about 11. And that was a really tough transition for me because the woman that he

married had two kids. And we lived together, but it was a difficult relationship. So at 15, I was in counseling. And I'll never forget, my counselor looked at me and said, is there anywhere you can go? She goes, I can't believe I'm asking a 15 year old this. But I, she goes, I think that you need to get out of your house because you're, you're not doing well. Like I had hives and eczema all over my body. I was just struggling. And I said, yeah. And I started kind of couch surfing with my friends. I met this incredible woman when I was 19 and her name was Barbara Wells and she had cancer. She had cancer for 12 years. She had three kids. Her husband had left her for a younger woman during cancer.

She had no way of making money because she was a homemaker. And I just landed in her home and she gave me the most unconditional love, but tough love. So one day she said to me, she's like, Kate, you know, you can keep going down the path you're going and be a victim and be sad. But she goes, you know, you have a choice now. You're 19. You're an adult. You can choose what your life is set to be. You just choose it and you choose the path. And I was like, what? Like, I really didn't know that I didn't have to live in chaos because as a kid, you live in chaos. You think that's normal. And so a light bulb went on for me and I changed my life right after that. I moved to Cambria, which is this tiny little coast, this coastal town in the middle of Cambria. I got three waitressing jobs and my life changed at that

moment when I said, no, I'm going to live and design it the way I wanted to. And I lived in Fresno. I always wanted to live at the beach. And that's when life started changing. And I'm not going to say it wasn't difficult because it was. I still carried that turmoil as a kid. I carried a lot of non-trust, a lot of things I had to unwind. But I just kept following the signs of goodness and going for what my vision was in my head. And that early history has led to an important partnership. Can you tell me about that? We have partnered with Foster Nation. These kids that are coming out of foster care,

I can relate to, right? I can really relate to where they are because they haven't had a stable childhood. Some of these kids have been in 50 to 100 homes. They've had to change schools. They feel like, you know, strangers in their home. Some of them have been abused. And it's not any fault of their own, right? They could have been like me, right, where they've had a parent, one in five children, Nicole, in this country is affected by a parent that has substance abuse. Maybe one of their parents passed away or both of their parents. Like, so these kids have been up against a lot of odds. And so we have pledged to mentor these kids coming out of foster care. I'm just so excited that all of the negative in my life is now turning into helping somebody that may have been in my shoes or in much worse.

Let me tell you. So super exciting. Hold on to your wallets, boys and girls. Money Rehab will be right back. I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash. But I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start or even too complicated if, say, you want to put your summer home in Maine on Airbnb, but you live full time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you.

guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a co-host network, which is a network of high quality local co-hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co-hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you. I always want to line up a reservation for my house when I'm traveling for work, but sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always feels like a scramble, so I don't end up making time to make my house look guest friendly. I guess that's the best way to put it. But I'm matching with a co-host, so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself. Find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host.

Now for some more money rehab. I'm super excited too, and it absolutely resonates with me. I was one of those statistics as well. And I don't think, to be fair, Kate, that trauma is a competition. You've had your shit. They've had their shit. I've had my shit. If it's bad for you, it's bad. So I just want to remind you that this is not a competition here. And you have learned so much from that time. I think it's made you so much stronger. You said that, you know, meeting Barbara helped you realize that just because it's always been done a certain way doesn't mean it's the way it needs to be. Was that with money as well? I'm assuming from your mother, you didn't get any money lessons or foundation,

but was that a turning point financially as well? Oh, for sure. So even to this day, Nicole, money is a scary thing for me, to be honest with you. I'm now founder and I sold my company, but I was CEO of a big company and I had a lot of responsibility. And I was in a lot of rooms with a lot of smart people that may have gone to Harvard and, you know, and they knew how to read spreadsheets and do contracts. And I had to kind of learn on the fly and try and put the right people around me to keep me from getting taken advantage of.

And I did get taken advantage of. I'm not going to say that I didn't. Listen, money is a mindfuck no matter what. If you have it, it is. If you don't, it is. You're embarrassed both ways. Yeah. So money is not evil.

It's a creative tool to be able to be creative. It's what you do with it. When I first got successful, I was like, Oh, like this money can't go anywhere because, you know, I know what it was like to like scrounge for change for gas. Right. So for me, like I've had to kind of unlock some of that and go, okay, I'm going to now risk a little over here. And I'm going to, because you've got to keep that money kind of still rolling to be creative. Right. And so I had to really start thinking about how money is not a negative, right? And it's not also a safety blanket. It comes and goes like, listen, I just got scammed. I just, you know, it's funny. Like when I lay down at night and I think about like, I go, well, here, here's how I put it in my, my head. I'm like, well, I hope it's feeding a family that really freaking needs it. You know, like even though it got taken

and maybe it needed to get taken. Like I go universe. Like I hope that it's doing some good, you know? And I think not to get too woo woo, although you do have a ginormous dream catcher behind you. So I feel like I can go there. I think there is a lot of law of attraction with money. I think you have if you want it, you have to put it out there. It's sort of like this momentum, even though you think, well, I want it, so I have to keep it and hoard it and be really careful with it. That's actually not the energy that you're putting out there to bring more money your way.

energy that you're putting out there to bring more money your way. And that was always an issue for me, too, coming from a similar abusive, tumultuous upbringing. I always wanted to keep it because I remember the hungry days. I remember the days when I didn't have food or a place to stay or whatever. But I also recently have reframed this being like, oh, well, I know what that's like. I've been there. So bring it again. I went through it. If that's going to happen, cool. I got you. And so I think that you can sort of, you can reframe that idea by saying, well, I don't want to go back there, but if I do, because the only constant is change, then I know how to do it. I can get through it because I did it before.

And I can do it again. It's so funny because when I was about ready to walk away from Kate Somerville, I looked at both my husband and my child, which was, he was five at the time or six, something like that. And I said, well, I did it to that point. I learned a lot and we can do it again. And you're right. That's a great way to think. It's so funny because I went to counseling for a lot of years and I had this kind of fear-based feeling about a lot of things. And my counselor said to me, she goes, listen, she goes, what happens when you get into trouble or chaos?

Are you good at solving problems and getting out of it? And I'm like, I, I, I'm incredible at it. Like chaos for me was so normal as a kid. So now when I get in it, I, that's like, I'm comfortable. Oh, good to see you again. She goes, okay. Yeah. She's like, okay. When something bad happens, know in your adult self, because the little girl inside going, I'm scared. And you go, okay, little girl, you can be scared. But the adult in you goes, I got this. So with all of the amazing things

and not amazing things you've gone through, what would be the one money advice you would now give your former self? That little girl, the little Kate. Don't be frivolous. You know, like you think you need certain things in life. And, you know, I've always spent money on things that, um, maybe I didn't need later on. And I, I would say, um, earlier on save and, and you think you need like that certain outfit. It's so funny. I was listening to a podcast and Buffett, what's his name? Morin. Morin Buffett was on and he said, do I want this $30,000 haircut? And I was like, what does he mean by that? And what he meant was, I'm going to give this person $30 or $50 for a haircut.

And that $50, if I put it into the stock market in 20 years, is going to be this much. And I'm like, when he put that into context, I was like, holy moly. The amount of money that I wasted on frivolous things, like if I would have just saved a little and put it into a stock, um, it would be so much bigger today. And so, um, when you're my age, so I'm 51 and, um, you know, you're going to want to save for this time in your life. And I, my father-in-law died at 82 and he, he struggled. He was a musician. Um, he was at the top of his game, um, in the fifties, but they didn't get paid back then. And, um, he was still really worried about money at that age and, um, and

survival. And I thought, God, I just don't want to be there. So think about your future. Do you really need it? If you don't need it, put it somewhere where it can grow. And that's what I would tell my 20-year self at this point. For today's tip, you can take straight to the bank. I'm going to echo Kate's warnings and say seriously, guys, do not make big purchases online without seeing the product IRL first. Scammers are getting smarter and none of us are exempt. Scammers have come for me. They have come for Kate and maybe even you.

So no matter what you're buying, a boat, a car, or a bookshelf, do everything you can to play it safe. Money Rehab is a production of iHeartRadio. I'm your host, Nicole Lappin. Our producers are Morgan Lavoie and Mike Coscarelli. Executive producers are Nikki Etor and Will Pearson. Our mascots are Penny and Mimsy. Huge thanks to OG Money Rehab team Michelle Lanz for her development work, Catherine Law for her production and writing magic, and Brandon Dickert for his editing,

engineering, and sound design. And as always, thanks to you for finally investing in yourself so that you can get it together and get it all.