Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin - Laura Clery on the Cost of Infidelity, Addiction, Divorce— and Rebuilding

Episode Date: July 13, 2026

Comedian and creator Laura Clery built a media empire of 26 million followers, and then watched her marriage and her bank account collapse at the same time. Laura opens up about the financial wreckage of her divorce: how her ex-husband's relapse and addiction affected their financial lives, how she ended up paying two mortgages at once without fully understanding why, and the surreal moment she realized her water had been shut off. She walks Nicole through the costly mistake of choosing mediation over hiring a lawyer, why she couldn't afford the retainer when she finally needed one, and the moment her ex hacked her YouTube and Facebook accounts, deleting years of content and her entire livelihood in the process. Nicole and Laura also get into the bigger financial lessons: why Laura now insists every woman keep her own separate bank account, how watching her mother stay in a difficult marriage without financial independence shaped her own choices, and how she rebuilt. But first, Laura shares about the freak accident that almost killed her. Check out Nicole's financial literacy course ⁠The Money School⁠  Find a Financial Advisor or Financial Coach from Nicole's company ⁠Private Wealth Collective⁠  Watch video clips from the pod on ⁠Money Rehab's Instagram⁠ and ⁠Nicole Lapin's Instagram⁠  Get What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Hotter If you or someone you know is struggling with the same issues Laura speaks of today, here are resources for addiction and domestic abuse Here's what Nicole covers with Laura: 00:00 Are You Ready for Some Money Rehab? 02:03 The Freak Refrigerator Accident 12:24 The Inside Job Conspiracy 14:35 Writing What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Hotter 16:12 Early Money Dynamics With Her Ex 18:31 Booking TV Commercials 21:52 Becoming Facebook's Biggest Comedy Star 23:45 Who Really Controlled the Money 25:01 The First Relapse and Years in Recovery 27:00 Catching the Infidelity 29:53 When It All Went Public 32:00 "You're Not a Victim, You're a Volunteer" 37:08 No Prenup and Two Mortgages 39:53 The Day Her Water Got Shut Off 42:27 Choosing Mediation Over a Lawyer 47:00 The Hack51:14 Post-Separation Abuse 54:47 Why She'll Never Live With a Man Again 58:37 Her Parents' Marriage and the Cost of Staying 1:01:01 Why Every Woman Needs Her Own Bank Account 1:01:51 "Mommy Has Money Again" 1:02:39 Money Fixes Money Problems, Not Everything Else 1:05:54 Reframing the Mental Block 1:09:41 Laura Clery's Tip You Can Take Straight to the Bank All investing involves the risk of loss, including loss of principal. This podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute financial, investment, or legal advice. Always do your own research and consult a licensed financial advisor before making any financial decisions or investments.

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And why wait? Right now, you can get up to $200 off square hardware at square.com slash go slash MNN. That's SQUA-R-E.com slash geo slash MNN. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. After I had my daughter, I was struggling with postpartum depression and yeah, we felt very distant. And then I caught him in a line. And the next day, I'm getting bombarded with phone calls, texts, cousins, and my nanny's nephew. Are you okay? Oh, my God.

And I'm like, what is going on? Laura Cleary is a comedian with so many viral sketches. I do not even know where to start. She is a hugely successful creator with a combined 25 million followers and a new book out called What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Hatter. But today, Laura really opens up about how her marriage, fell apart and took her financial life down with it. I continued being.

And again, at the time, I did not know that he was buying drugs with that money. So I felt this obligation. Well, I want to be there for you. I mean, and you're the father of my kids. So it just made sense until it didn't until my water got shut off. She talks about money mistakes that made her divorce harder. I don't know where every cent went at this point. advice for women who are struggling to leave.

It's just one small step at a time, you know? Call your friend. Tell them what's really going on. Call a therapist. Tell them what's really going on. We're as sick as our secrets. I'm Nicole Lapton, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. It's time for some money rehab.

Laura Clary, welcome to money rehab. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Okay, sister. Yeah. Are you okay? No. Of course I'm not. But you just had a refrigerator fall on you. Yeah. What the actual, this was all over the news. I was like, Laura, I don't know you, but I'm scared for you. Are you alive? What's, can you tell us what happened? Sure. Yeah. And it's so funny. I was not expecting like 12 news outlets to pick it up. I'm like, is it a slow news wake? And then this. It's like a war happening, but more us under a refrigerator. Right.

But I'm stuck under a refrigerator. Yeah. But okay. So terrifying night, incredibly terrifying. So it was like 8.20 p.m. I had just bathed the kids. We're all showered. We're in pajamas.

We're ready to go to bed. Alfie's eat, my newly seven-year-old is eating a snack in the kitchen. I go into the bathroom and I hear his voice, Mommy, mommy, mommy. And my son, he's not nonverbal, but has limited language. He's on the autism spectrum. But I hear him go, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. And I come running out of the bathroom and I see him standing over my massive French door, stainless steel, 600 pound fridge.

And he's standing under it. And the doors are open and it's tilted forward just like that. Just, you know, I don't know, like a few inches forward with the doors open. Now, I don't realize the doors are keeping it from falling on him. Right on. Yeah. So, like, he would have probably died. I mean, it's 600 pounds.

Like, okay, and where he was. So I get him out of the way immediately. And I still don't know how the fridge got like that. I can only assume he was pulling on it. But why should he be able to pull down a six? 600-pound fridge. He's seven years old. So that's a whole other thing, but it wasn't installed properly. There were like nine places where screws should go to make it stable, and none of them were screwed in. None of the screws were in there. Yeah. So anyway, but that's a whole other thing.

Okay. There's a lawsuit happening. Yeah, yeah. I'm suing them. But so I get him out of the way, and then my dumb ass is like, let me push it back into place because I just think I can. Right. And, You can do a lot of things. Thank you so much. Yeah. But not push a 600 pound fridge back into place apparently. So now, and I'm the only adult in the house, right? So single mom, five and seven year old, my five year old's already in my room.

We all bed chair. And so she's already in there and he was about to be in there. So I get him out of the way. And I go to like shut the doors to push the fridge back into place. And as I go to shut the doors in to push it back in, it just goes and just falls right on top of me. So behind me, this is in the kitchen. Now behind me, there's an island. So now I'm pinned up against the island. The fridge has me entirely pinned up against this island. The best way I could describe the pain is like birth contractions. Oh, God, yes. Truly. The pressure of just being

slowly crushed by this 600-pound fridge. Now, at the beginning, I tried to push the fridge off of me and it became very clear, very quickly that it was like pushing against a building. There was no movement. In fact, when I tried to move my body, I could feel things like they were going to break. If I moved, yeah, dude, it was, because imagine 600 pounds. Now, if it had like fast, I probably, who knows if I would be here? I don't know. This is like a slow crush. Like it's, it just like slowly like back on me, if that makes sense. Does that make sense of you following me? I terrified me. So now I'm completely stuck. It's crushing my hips, my chest, my ribs, all on my body like that. I can barely breathe. You know, your intuition is really strong in moments like these. And I was like, I have about 10 more minutes before I lose consciousness because it asphyxiation. I like could not breathe. It was so immense, the pressure of this fridge. So now my five year old is here like crying, mommy. mommy, mommy, and there's nothing I can do, right?

My son, after the fridge fell on me and I screamed bloody murder, he ran out the back to my backyard, and I'm praying to God that he doesn't elope, which, you know what eloping is? It's okay. I mean, I do, but not in this context. I'm assuming he's not getting married. I'm praying to God he doesn't go get married. No, it means run away.

So a lot of kids on the spectrum, they'll very curious, but they lack a sense of danger, so they'll like run off. You know, and so he's done that in the past where he is, you know, left the house, climbed over the gate and ran. And so like there's nothing I can do, right? And then so it's probably like a few minutes under there trying to get it off. And then by the grace of whatever, I have my phone in my pocket. And I never have my phone in my pocket at home. When do you have your phone or your pocket?

It's always like on a table or charging. Like it was just in my sweatpants pocket for. for whatever reason. And so I'm able to pull out my phone, put the phone on the island, and call 911. So now I sound like a true crackhead. Okay. I call and I'm like, I have a 600 pound. Well, I actually didn't say 600 because I didn't know how much it was. The fireman told me that. I was like, I have a fridge on top of me. I can't read out. Yeah, like that. And then the 911 dispatcher goes, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, if you don't calm down, I'm going to hang up. No.

I swear. She goes, if you don't, if you don't calm down, I'm going to hang up the phone. You get a 600 pound of fridge on you and you calm down, ma'am. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, who calls 911 services? Nobody, because you wouldn't call. You wouldn't. You wouldn't be like, hey, a bit of an emergency.

How's your day? No. No. So, okay. So I'm like, so, but it kind of worked. Every like ounce of whatever composure you had in you, you try to speak to this lady calmly. Yeah, because I knew if I didn't calm down, then she could hang up. And I felt that I was going to die because I was losing oxygen.

I have a five and a seven year old. My seven year olds, you know, both of them are too young to really be able to help. The top front part of my house is all triple locked because my son has attempted to run. and explore the world. And so I'd triple locks on all my doors. It was only the backyard that was open, but there was no access to neighbors. There were no adults due to come in the morning. I was just going to take them to school first thing in the morning. So I would have been stuck under there for a day and a half until like my nanny came, you know, and yeah, in front of my children. It was so terrifying and painful and all the things. But so then I'm like,

there and I give the 911 dispatcher my address and the gate code and all that. And then I hang up. I call my ex, which we'll get into, but I call him who's a mile down the road and sober now. Thank God. And I tell him to come help as well because he needs to help with the kids while I go to the, you know, trauma unit. And so, yeah. So basically, firefighters break through. the garage door. They can't get in through the front. Yeah, they break down my door and it takes not one, not two, but three firefighters to get this fridge off of me. Three fully grown hot ass, by the way, firefighters. Yeah, to get the fridge off of me. Now, at this point, I can't feel anything. I'm shaking. I mean, I mean, a lot of pain. But yeah, it was, I didn't know, like,

if I was paralyzed because it was the so deep pressure. on my lower spine. I just had no idea, like the extent of the injuries, no clue. And the adrenaline, all of it, it was just, yeah, it was all so much. But once they came and got the fridge off of me, it was like there was, of course, a sense of relief too, because even though you're in pain and everything is spinning, I felt like I was going to be okay. So the second they get the fridge off me, I'm like, where's my son? Where's my son? I turn around and he's like behind the sliding glass door just staring like, like just scared. He's, you know, he's just so scared and didn't know how to handle it. And then they took took me to the trauma unit and did like a full CT scan. I was in the

hospital to like three in the morning. Doctor comes back. He goes, well, you've got very strong hips. I was like, thank you. Stop. It's not a big deal. You didn't break anything? Nothing. No breaks. Nothing. You're a miracle. my lower back still hurts. I go to physical therapy twice a week and I go to a psychologist now and who diagnosed me with complex PTSD, but I don't know. It is traumatizing. I do keep replaying it at night involuntarily.

Whose fault was this? I believe that whoever installed the company that installed the fridge. And you know this company? Like when you bought the house, it was already in there or? No, I hired them. Oh. And now I'm suing. So now they're going down.

Yeah. Because my son could have died. I could have died. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, completely negligent. There were four screws on the right, four screws on the left to put it into the cabinet tree to make sure it was secure and none of the screws were screwed in.

There were no screws in there. There were just holes. Folks. Check your fridge. Check your fridge. Hey, check your fridge. Check your fridge. And then all the news outlets pick this up.

Yeah. And they probably did that because I filmed a 10 second clip of me on the stretcher. And then I filmed another maybe seven second clip of me in the ambulance. It doesn't kill you. It makes you hotter, right? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and then there was a whole conspiracy that Simon and Schuster rigged the fridge or something.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Because my book is coming out, What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Hatter. And this fridge incident happened. So they were like, oh, I see. Yeah. So set the record straight. Did Simon and Schuster?

Yes. Rig your fridge. No. For publicity. Absolutely not. No, no. It's just a really funny coincidence, you know. It just, it is.

But also, it's so absurd. I think the news outlets picked it up because it was such a free. week accident. And it's just kind of funny, too. Like, it is funny. I mean, now that you're fine and here and one piece and beautiful, it's funny. Yeah. But not at the time. It's not funny. No, no, not at the time. And my daughter, she handled it in a different way. She would yell at me at night. She'd be like, why did you go under there? Why did you do that? You should have called the handyman. You shouldn't have gone under there. Like, that was her way of, you know, and my psychologist is saying because we all felt so helpless. Like, I couldn't.

get it off of me. She couldn't help. She brought me a pillow. She said, do you want a pillow? I'm like, yeah. She put a pillow behind my back. And, you know, my son felt powerless. So my son for the next two weeks after that was chasing me around the house, putting bandages on my back. Just band-aids. I'd be like, what are you doing back there? And then I'd feel like band-aids on my back. Yeah. And so sorry. Yeah. Yeah. It's so crazy. And he would just walk around the house going, Mommy-injured. Mommy-injured. But they're fine now. kids are, you know, resilient and like it is what it is. I'm just so grateful. Even I'm six feet tall. I think about if I was shorter. If it was, if it was you, if it was you. I would be dead.

No, really. It probably would have crushed all of your ribs. Like it just the placement of where all the pressure was, was, you know, I don't know. It just, or like if it was my son that it hit, it would have been his head. Right. I'm checking my fridge to know. But seriously, it is such a story of what doesn't kill you makes you hotter because you look so hot right now. You've always looked hot. But this is one hell of a story. And your memoir is one hell of a story, too. I mean, most of it's about marriage, but a lot of it is about money, too.

Did you realize that money was going to be such an important character in this book? I didn't. No, no. Because I just was writing kind of as it was happening, actually, you know. And so it just. As a catharsis or did you think it was going to turn into something? Was it just journals? Well, after I separated from my ex, I reached out to Simon Schuster and said, hey, I think I want to write a book about this and about co-parenting.

And I didn't think it was going to be a fluff piece. But I thought it was going to be way. I didn't think it was going to read like a thriller, okay, which it does, unfortunately. Yeah. But at the time, yeah, I wasn't like Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Martin, conscious uncoupling. I didn't think it was going to be that. It was messy. It was very messy, yeah.

And so, but I was just like in the thick of it when I reached out to them saying, hey, I want to write a third book. You know, I just start writing essays about what's going on. And so I just wrote over the past, you know, nearly four years. And yeah, there was a lot of money. The topic of money was. Because, yeah, I guess you could say it was one of the main characters. It read like it was one of the main characters.

Like, congratulations. You're a financial book, Laura. Thank you so much. In the beginning, let's follow the money trail of your relationship because there's so many important lessons here. So in the beginning, Steve and your ex was the breadwinner, right? Yeah. And so was that, did he have more power in the relationship because he was bringing in the money? Maybe.

I never really felt that way, though. Um, he, yeah, he was, you know, he's 12 years older than me. So when we met, he was a film composer. He came out here to work with Han Zimmer and do like big Hollywood films. And I was a struggling, barely working comedy actress, a sad, sad comedy actress. But, uh, yeah, so he, you know, he was definitely paying the rent of our apartment and, you know, I wasn't broke, broke, but he was making more. And, uh, yeah. So he, you know, he was definitely paying the rent of our apartment. And, you know, I wasn't broke, broke, but he was making more. I never really felt that. He didn't really hold it over me. No. How did you guys communicate about money? Did you talk about it early on? No.

No? Not really. He told me what he made. I thought that was pretty cool. It was just... Was it millions of dollars? No. But enough to live nicely.

Yeah. Yeah. He made a good living, you know, being a composer. It wasn't millions, though. Like consistent. Yeah. Consistent. Yeah.

Whereas my stuff was like I would book a sitcom or I would book a commercial. And then the second I was done filming that commercial or sitcom, I would file for unemployment. That's what you do as an actor. And you then file for unemployment. And then you book your next job. And then once you're done with that job, you file for unemployment because it could be two months until your next job. But then, you know, I booked an M&M's commercial once. that paid me a few hundred thousand at least.

Just for an M&M's commercial. Yeah, girl. And all I had to do was go, hey, babe, I could really go for a snack. That's it. Give me 350K now. Now, they paid me, it was like a day rate. So I'm sure that was a few thousand or something for the day. I survived on national commercials.

This is what I did for years before I was an influencer. But wait, wait, wait. Take me from a day rate of a few thousand. $3,000 to $350. Residules. Oh. Yeah. So residuals.

So when they air it again and again, you get paid. And then they would call and say, hey, we want to play the commercial in, you know, the U.K. Yeah. Yeah. In Tokyo. And so, okay, fine. For 50K, you can. And then we want to play in Australia.

We want to play it in Australia, you know, all over the world. And I'd get paid every single time they wanted to air that commercial. And for whatever reason. They loved that commercial. That's incredible. Was that the highest paying gig you had? Yeah, I think that commercial was. Yeah.

Other ones paid well. Like how much do other commercials pay? It depends on residuals. Now it's not the same as it was. Everything's digital now. I think a lot of commercial actors don't even get residuals anymore. Just get your day rate. But back then, I was rolling in it.

I mean, I wasn't rolling in it. your M&Ms for the win. What was the line I want to do it? Hey, Dave. Can I have? I could really go for a snack. Yeah. That was it.

Oh, my God. But then your career took off in a major way. And you and Stephen started working together, right? What was that discussion like? Well, it just kind of happened organically. So like I said, he was scoring films and I was making silly YouTube videos and Instagram videos and then I would be like, oh, can you do the music for this? You know, I had like 12 piece orchestras on my Instagram videos.

Okay. Yeah. I was like, you're scoring stuff anyway. And he was like, he loved it. He loved scoring my little homemade stupid videos. So it started that way, very organically and fun. And then I remember just being like, oh, I have this idea about, you know, when you're eating with someone.

And they ask you a question. second you put food in your mouth. And there's this awkward like 15 seconds of you chewing. And they're just waiting for you to answer the question while you're chewing. I just that. I was like, I want to film that. Right. So I was like, can you be in that? And I'm going to chew. And you're going to ask me a question, right? That was it. And so he just slowly started becoming a little co-star in my sketches. You know, I'd have all these funny ideas about, you know, couples and things like that. I was an Instagram husband. Before that, there was a term for that.

Yeah. Yes. Plus plus. Yeah. It was so organic. Like all I've ever wanted to do is make comedy, make people laugh. Yeah. And so initially it was like sitcoms and that that's what I wanted.

I was like, oh, I want to be on like the next friends or that type. That was like the goal or SNL or something. But then social media happened. And I was like, oh, I don't have to do that. I don't have to wait for someone to hire me. I can make my own stuff. I could own my IP. I could have total creative freedom, global distribution of my fingertips.

This is a way better gig. Once I started making content, I never went back to traditional. I'm so uninterested. Though now I'm interested in making a film because of like obsession and backrooms. Like I think that would be cool to make a movie. But anyway. Quick side note, what's crazy is that Facebook is your biggest platform, right? Yeah, I have 14 million followers on there.

I was one of the first people making content. on that platform. And at the time when I started, my manager was like, what are you doing, Laura? You can't even monetize this. You're not even making money. And I'm like, yeah, but YouTube is saturated. And the second that Facebook starts monetizing, I'm going to be laughing. And sure enough, I was. And that's how I bought my two houses is through Facebook monetization. How much money are you making on Facebook? It depends. I mean, the most I ever, I think I made nearly 400K on just one sketch that I wrote in, I probably wrote it in 20 minutes, edited in two hours, filmed it in three.

From one video, 400K? Yeah, over time. It just took off. It was like two, 300 million views. At the time, they were doing three minute, I would shoot one three minute sketch a week. That was what I did. And I would make anywhere from like 15K to 400,000. to 400k on a video.

That was my biggest one. That was a fluke. Like that was not normal. You know, at the height, which was probably like 20, 2018, maybe around that time, those few years, anywhere from, yeah, like 10 to a few hundred K even on a video, if it took off. So what would you say to Gen Z who's sleeping on Facebook? Well, Facebook is not like that anymore. You missed it.

You missed the boat, honey. Find another way. It's not it. Because now it's everything shorts and reels. So you can't monetize those as well. I make nothing on sketches now, you know, very little. So you were doing the creative, it sounds like Stephen was doing the finances. Did you feel like that was the arrangement that it organically became?

Was that an equal arrangement in your memory? mind? Well, once we started making a lot of money, because once I started getting consistent viral videos, brand deals started coming in, monetization was really great, merch, things like that. I just didn't like to look at the money, but once we started making a significant amount, we hired a business manager. So that was very helpful. But he, Stephen would oversee all of that. ever looked at money. You didn't know how much you were bringing in. I did. Directionally? Yeah. I did because I would look at the app and go, oh, cool. I made this on that. I met this on that. And in my head, I'd go, oh, yeah, I obviously negotiated this brand deal so I know

what I'm going to get. So I knew, but I wasn't really looking. And he loved all of that. He loved all of that. I didn't. I never did. But it was significant. It was like millions. that you were bringing in at that point. Yeah. And then what happened? It sounds like there was infidelity, but was there financial infidelity? Well, there was infidelity before we started making a lot of money. So we were married over 10 years.

Can you believe that? Yeah. Which is important for divorce proceedings. 10-year mark is actually really important, but we'll get to that. Yes. The long term, yeah, yeah. So, well, and then what happened? Well, he got back on drugs is what happened.

And so when we met, we were both sober. And I really do believe that sobriety brought us together. You know, we met at a party. We were both drinking water. And we just connected in many, many ways. And then we had a few good years. He relapsed back in 2014. I separated for three months from him.

There was an affair and a relapse. And, but he went to rehab. He worked his steps. He even flew to Chicago where I'm from to make amends to my parents. I mean, he really did the work. And I am a recovering addict too. So I empathize, you know, I don't think I didn't think he was evil or bad. I just thought he was sick and in his disease, just like I was. So I was able to forgive him. And I'm glad I did actually because we had many good years after that where he was we were both sober and working really great programs and doing what we loved for a living. I got to do what I loved with the person I loved. I got to make silly comedy and great fun music with my best friend. And it was just like a dream for many years. So great that we, you know,

bought our dream house with the, you know, pool in the hills. And then we decided we wanted we wanted to expand the family. And we had my son in 2019. After I had my daughter, I was struggling with postpartum depression. And yeah, we felt very distant. And then I caught him in a lie. He told me that he was going to have lunch with his friend, but really he was going to one of those erotic massage parlors. And it was funny because I just when he, I asked him where he was going to lunch and he just looked at me and went somewhere, he's British, somewhere on Ventura. And I'm like, okay, like where? Ventura is like 10 miles long. Like where on Ventura? And he's like somewhere and just walks out like, you know, and then he leaves. And I'm just like, you know, again, our intuition is strong as a woman. It's like you kind of know,

when something's up. And this is pretty obvious if you ask me. So I end up looking at our phone apps, our cars have our location on them. And I looked and I type in the address and sure enough, it's like this, you know, whatever. But again, I didn't think that was divorceworthy. We had too much going for us. He was my best friend. We had two children together. I just, when he got home, I confronted him. I was like, how was lunch? He's like, yeah, it was good. Oh, God. I was like, oh, what did you get?

Spicy tie? Oh, my God. You know, and I, you know, I said, you know, I know where you were. I saw where you were. And he's like, I'm so sorry. And I said, you know, maybe there's a cross addiction going on because, you know, in recovery, they say that addiction is like whackamol. You get one addiction under control, like alcohol and drugs.

And another one pops up like sex and love or like TikTok or, like, you know, shopping or gambling, gambling or food. It's just, you get one under control, another one pops up. That's Guacamole. Yeah, it's whackamol. And so I thought that's what that was. It had to be a cross-sdiction.

I mean, we had sex that morning. Like, there's no reason you needed to go. And it was like his sober birthday. And I had bought him a gift certificate for a massage for 3 p.m. that day. Like a legit massage. Yes. So, you know, that's how I know. knew this is an addiction. So I empathized and I said, just please get help. Call a sponsor,

get help. And let's just take the night apart. Like just, I just need one night. And, you know, so he stayed at the studio and I went a mile down the road where the kids and I lived. And, yeah, we take that night apart. And then things just got worse, you know, the next day, he was making suicide threats in front of the kids and I. He just was clearly so unhinged and it felt very unsafe. And again, I was so confused. Like, what is going on? Like, I just want you to get help for this cross addiction.

And now you're becoming really unsafe and scary. And I don't understand what's happening. At the time, I didn't know he was on drugs. Not that that fully excuses it, but I just was utterly confused at the behavior. But I knew that it was not safe for him to be in the house with my kids and I. So I asked for a separation. And the next day I'm getting bombarded with phone calls and texts from, you know, cousins and my nanny's nephew. Are you okay?

Oh, my God. And I'm like, what is going on? Like, I haven't even told my mom. And then I look on YouTube and there's a video posted by him saying, I separated from my wife. That was the title. Like and subscribe. And it's just shocking, you know, that he put that out on the internet for everyone to see. And this was like the day after all of this craziness, you know, from me to scuffer.

the infidelity to the threats. And then now it's just all public without my consent. And I'm so traumatized. And now I have like the opinions of millions of people on top of that. So it was very, I, girl, I'm pretty lanky now. I was about at that time, I was like 25 pounds later. I could not eat. I was like wasting away.

It was just such a traumatic. time. From your book, you reached out to your sponsor, Joy. And there is the line that like, er, in my soul where she says, at this point, Laura, you are not a victim, you're a volunteer. And so did you feel like you were enabling this behavior before? Well, it's funny. That line comes later because a lot, like, if you think that's bad, y'all, it just kept

getting worse and worse and worse and worse. I mean, his bottom had a basement. Okay. It just, just when you thought it couldn't get worse, it did. And so after some time of me trying to first work things out, but then just even maintain a friendship, and I was enabling in a lot of ways, too, she had said, yeah, Laura, at this point, you're not a victim, you're a volunteer. And that for me was very powerful.

I know that could be triggering to a lot of victims, and I'm not saying victims of domestic violence, you're not a victim, you're a volunteer because you went back. It's way more complex than that. It really is. But for me, I needed to hear that. And that was really powerful for me to hear and helped me to, you know, make moves. So what changed at that point? Well, things just had to get really ugly, you know. And even then, things got way worse. And I, things got way worse. And I was about to take action. I was about to get a restraining order. And he called me and begged me not to, said he would never do these things again. And he would get help. I even had a psychologist who was like our, sorry, a psychiatrist. Our psychiatrist would work with us together.

And even the psychiatrist was like, no, Laura, I don't think you should go through with a restraining order. You should try and be friends and stay out of the court system. He's fine. You know, I talked to him. He's good. Which was not the case, you know. But again, it's my, that's my responsibility, not his to make those decisions. But you're just, I was just so terrified of what would happen if I took action. If I got a lawyer, if I, you know, tried to fight him, I was just terrified. In hindsight, now that you have the benefit of that, what would you tell other women who are in the thick of it and struggling to leave? It's just one small step at a time, you know, call your friend.

Tell them what's really going on. Call a therapist. Tell them what's really going on. We're as sick as our secrets. And for me, just getting honest, like for me, that was my sponsor. She knew everything. And she held my hand through all of these difficult decisions, like hiring. a lawyer filing a restraining order. I eventually went through and got one. I was so done.

You know, there was one morning where the harassment started at 4.30 in the morning and the threats and the harassment. And I was just, I just, I hit that bottom. And I was so done. I'm like, there's not another day. Because since that separation that we spoke about, which was in 2022, I forgave him and forgave him and forgave him. I attempted to co-parent. I'm like, Again, I didn't want to be Chris Martin and Gwanaith Paltrow, but like I thought we could still be best, or friends, friends, co-parents, even make co-parenting comedy. I was like, 56% of people get divorced. Like, there's so much funny here.

And like we're divorced, say influencers. It's just, it's, there's, yeah, exactly. And so, and I thought it would be cathartic for people and comedic relief. And in my head, I'm like, we have to. kids, we should get along for their sake, you know? And so I was just really trying, but he was, you know, on this downward spiral, just so sick from the drugs. And so I had to let that go. I had to let all of that go and take action to protect myself and my kids. And so, yeah, so that's what I did. I went and got a restraining order. And of course, within 20 minutes of

him getting served. It was all online. He posted the restraining order with the case number. Everything was public. Everything was out there. Why did you think he did that? Because I'm crazy. I mean, you know, I was just like, no, I kept being shocked about it. Yeah. I mean, at that point, maybe I wasn't that shocked. It was like, we maybe anticipated, okay, he's probably going to crash out online about this because that's what he's doing. Did he do that to hurt you because there was such an important platform for you? Probably, yeah. I would say so.

I think if you hate yourself, it's impossible for you to love anyone else. And so he was taking out his pain on me, probably. Did you guys have a pre-up? No. No. No, none of that. So once you get into all the legal stuff, in your book you say, remind me later to tell you why having two mortgages is a terrible idea. So I'm reminding you,

why is that a terrible idea? I suppose if you have the means, it might not be. But in my case, it was, I think the combination of like, okay, us not being together anymore, I'm going through all of this trauma in a really strange way. Like, I would just be walking the through Whole Foods and people would be like, oh, God, I'm so sorry about the restraining order. And I'm like, I'm just trying to buy Kinwa, ma'am, you know, but it was just all out there. So, but you were to paying both of your mortgages. Yeah. At separation.

Yeah. Both his and yours. How did that even happen? Well, because our bookkeeper and business manager was paying all the bills, and so they just continued to do that out of our joint account. And then when that sort of dwindled, I continued paying. And again, at the time, I did not know that he was buying drugs without. money. Like I didn't, I actually didn't know that. And it's funny because people on loan are like, Laura, I think he's on a lot of drugs right now. And I'm like, no, he's just British and eccentric.

Maybe it was a deep denial. I don't know. But I at the time, I, you know, he told me he was like building his business. Like he was going to start something new and do, you know, get into sound healing and continue with his music and focus on that. And so I wanted to help support. him through that time, even though we weren't together, because he helped me. You know, he walked away from his big, you know, composing gig with Hans Zimmer because what I was doing was so lucrative. I was making so much money that he was like, let me just help you and help produce you. And it was like, great. So, and he was incredibly instrumental in my success. So I felt this obligation well, I want to be there for you.

I mean, and you're the father of my kids. So it just made sense until it didn't, until my water got shut off. Tell me how that happened. Because it sounds like you were making so much money, but you didn't really know where it was going. So your water got shut off. Why? Well, because I wasn't feeling very funny. And the funny is money.

So I made money from funny. And I wasn't feeling pretty funny at that time. Okay. It's a good bar. Thank you. But it's really indicative of just giving a lot of the trust to the business manager. That too. At the time.

That too. And then I like, because the money was dwindling, I was like, you know, just use my bookie for the time. And then she, she, because business managers are very expensive. And at that point in your book, you say you got up to like 30K of monthly. monthly expenses. Yeah. At least. And you, so you didn't.

When I was paying the two mortgages, it was more like 40. So you didn't realize like where the money was going, how the bills were getting paid until you had no water. It's not that black and white. But like, yes. I think paying the two mortgages really gutted me like that just it was, I could handle my house and my bills and supporting the children, financial. but his house and bills and all that that that really took it out of me and like I said at the time

like I wasn't producing content the way that I normally did because I was still making content but not at not at the level that I was before because of all this trauma I think you know you were digging into your savings too yeah digging in our savings exactly yeah yeah and so yeah and so yeah And then she, yeah, I remember it was, I think it was in the spring, yeah. And I had my friend over who was also going through a divorce. And she has at a, at the time, a one and three year old. And they were over at my house. And they were all in the bath.

Everyone was in the bath. My kids, we had five kids in the bath, baths shower, one was in the sink. You know, and then all of a sudden they're all soapy and sudsy. and all of a sudden the water just stops. And I was like, huh? That's dramatic. And so it was just. And I was like, what is going on?

And my friend's like, oh, yeah, I saw a guy out there earlier. I thought he was, you know, handyman. And I was like, nope. So you ended up choosing mediation, right? Instead of lawyering up. Initially. Yeah. Initially.

Why did you do that? Because it was more of like the peacekeeping way to go. or like less expensive, you thought. Yeah, it was enabling. And he begged me not to get a restraining order. And he was like, if you don't get a restraining order, then we can just do mediation. You can have anything you want. Like you take the house, like custody.

That's your decision. You know, you take the business. Everything's yours. Like just, I just want to be, you know, I just don't want you to file a restraining order. I don't want to lose access to my kids, blah, blah, blah. And again, I was like just wanting to keep the peace. And he knew I wouldn't take advantage of that either, that I would just do what was fair. I didn't want, I'm not greedy.

Like, I didn't want to screw him over in any way. I wanted him to be okay. And so I think, but I also didn't want to go to court and fight. So when he was like, I'll do whatever you say, like, let's just not, just don't go through with the restraining order. I was like, if you get help and we could just get a mediator and just get this over and done with and you take that house, I'll take this house, and we'll just figure out custody, we could just be done. You know, that was fine with me. I just wanted peace and I believed that he was going to get help, you know, and that was, I regret that.

I should have gotten a lawyer. I should have filed the restraining order that day because he was arrested for battery of a spouse. So that's a whole other. story that you can read about in the book. But I just thought he would get help. And I believed him once again. And that's the thing with trauma bonds too. It's really a mind fuck, you know, because like outside looking in, you're like, are you stupid? I mean, yes, my first two books were called idiot and idiots. Yes, a little bit. But, uh, Yeah, so I just thought, okay, I don't want to say.

You see all these couples spending years in court, fighting over bullshit, spending all their money in court. Yeah, giving the money to the lawyers instead of your kids or. Exactly. So I'm like, if I can avoid that. Yeah. I mean, when I read this, I was really surprised because a lot of people give the advice to go through mediation first and for a lot of reasons and also to save. But then you guys ended up getting to the lawyer part of it anyway. And you talk about not being able to pay the, what was it, 40 grand retainer for the lawyer at that point?

Yeah. Because you spent all of it, which is counterintuitive because you think like going through mediation is going to save you the money, but it's not. Yeah. Exactly. That's crazy. Yeah. So then hired a mediator. found one for $5,000 Alice.

Five thousand's, oh, I thought what a steal. And, yeah, I started off great. We would sit down and we were seeing eye to eye. And yep, this makes sense. That makes sense. We were in mediation. It was kind of working. And then all of a sudden he stopped showing up for the meetings.

He stopped participating. Stop turning in paperwork. Nothing could get done. One year turned into nearly two. Eventually we got fired by our mediator because we couldn't get anything done because there was only one willing participant. The lawyer that I was this close to hiring when I was going to file the restraining order was like, I'm telling you not to do this. I know this type of person. It will not end well. You don't know what you're talking about lawyer. I do. I've known him for a long time. I've known him for a long time. It's going to go great.

I can be an optimist to a fault, I guess. It's served me well, but it's also bit me in the ass. I mean, it's such an important lesson, too, because it sounds like there's a hidden financial cost for trying to take the peacekeeping round. Totally. Yes. Absolutely. All right.

Sister, you have gone through it. Like, then he hacked your YouTube and Facebook, right? I have my theories on why he did it, but he's. He was just out of his mind at the end of the day and wanting to hurt me. So he found it like an old iPad and was still logged in to it. Even though I had changed my passwords, he got in and deleted my Facebook with 14 million followers. And I got a call for my producer at like five in the morning over and over calls over and over. And I'm like, is he losing it too?

Like, do I need to get a restraining order on him too? Like, what's going on? I pick up and I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, what's going on, Pat? And he's like, Loras, I'm on your YouTube. Someone is deleting all of your IP one by one. The last five years of content is gone. And I just knew.

I knew that it was him. And I go, it's Stephen. And he goes, it's either Stephen or Iran. Oh, my God. Sorry to laugh. That's so funny. That's terrible. but also hilarious.

Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, I think it's Stephen, you know, and it was. And did you get any of it back? Everything. So I worked with the team from YouTube and Facebook for a few weeks. Facebook, we didn't know this. And neither did the freaking teams of Facebook because I had to find this out for myself.

Like you can delete the account, but then it gives you 30 days to actually wipe everything. And there's like a little. A little toggle that you can hit. Yeah. Are you sure? It's like that thing. But that's hidden. So I'm freaking out for at least a week thinking it's gone, but there was the thing.

And I was able to look. And then with YouTube, they had to get my videos back one by one. And they did. That's cool. Incredible. I mean, I'm sure they've heard it all at this point. Were you like giving the execs that Facebook and YouTube, you're the whole. the whole why behind it? Yeah, I think they all knew because that's the thing. It was all so public.

It was just everything was so public. So, you know, Stephen was so high at the time that he posted, took a picture of his desktop with him logged into my account. And before he deleted my accounts, he wrote the most heinous things as me telling my audience to kill them. themselves, just the worst things you could possibly think. He was writing. And so people started talking going, this does not sound like Laura. I think someone's hacked into Laura's account. You know, we think it's her ex. We think her ex. So they had already had this theory that he hacked into my accounts because the stuff he was saying was horrible. And then he was like, as me saying, I hope that my ex falls into a ditch and dies or something. Like, you know,

And so my fans were like, what's going on? We think it's him. And then he took a picture of him logged into my Facebook, takes a picture of the desktop and uploads it going, oh, no, this is so horrible. I think someone's hacked into my ex's account. She doesn't deserve this. But he didn't remember that he was logged in as me when he took that picture. So he, does that make sense?

He meant to like go on his account and then take a picture of all the heinous things that have been written, but he forgot to log out of my account. So now, and this is where it was kind of cool that it was public, you had thousands of people going, look, he just told on himself. He just took a picture of him logged into my account before he deleted it. Like it was clearly him. It was just very interesting time to have everyone commenting on such a, you know, traumatic time in your life. But it was also kind of cool because so many women

experience not just domestic violence, but post separation abuse. That's so common. Financial abuse, so common. And so in a way, I felt validated. And then other women did too. And that was beautiful. And you just had to, I just had to develop really thick skin and, you know, embrace this is what's going on. on. It is what it is, you know, and it's out there. There's nothing I can do about it. So might as well embrace it and, like, have a conversation about it. You know, I mean, that's a very healthy way to look at a complete shit show. I can't imagine. I'm so sorry you went through all of that. What lesson, now, with a little bit of time, what lessons do you think you'll take into?

Well, I look at my accounts now. Yay. I love that for you. Yeah. Tell me more. And it's, I'm not perfect. I probably need your help still. I got you, girl. Okay, great. Yeah, I would say I'm still like somewhat financially illiterate, but like I know what's in my accounts. I know my outgoing incoming. Like I'm in a good, healthy place. Thank God. My divorce is finalized. You know, yeah, I'm just, I feel very back like I'm earning a healthy amount I can easily afford my lifestyle. In fact, I'm doing really well right now with, yeah, brand deals,

my book coming out, you know, monetization. And then I'm, I just finished writing my solo show. So I'm going to be doing a live tour, which is also like, beyond it being lucrative, it's something I just really want to do because I've been behind a screen for 15 years. I want to meet these people. I have 26 million followers across all of my platforms. And so many of them have been following me since before I had children, you know, when I was just like a 20-something, you know, whatever to like becoming a mom, to becoming a mom to someone with special needs, you know, to getting married to going through my divorce, all of it.

They've been with me on this journey and I want to meet these people and connect in real life. So that's very exciting. Very exciting. Indeed. So excited that you're back in your accounts, your water is never going to be turned off. Never. No. And that was my bad. You know, I should have looked. Again, I was like, once he left, I lost my business partner. I lost, you know, I was just alone in all of it. And it was so much upkeep. And I was just in over my head. And then being a single mom on top of that, you know, and even my son is like a full time job with all of his therapy. and I can't keep them out of my sight for even one second, you know, because of the eloping. And so it's just a lot to manage. So I had to build a new team. And that was really exciting to do that too. Like I found a great, you know, a great team of like five people that helped me and produce

and assist and edit and, you know, direct and negotiate and like manage my money. and that was exciting and liberating too to go, no, I can do this. Because when I separated, I couldn't even turn on our hot tub. That was his job. I didn't know how to do like basic things like that because I just, oh, that's his, he'll do that, he'll do that. And there was just no way I could do this on my own. But there is.

Hell yeah. How liberating. And now I never want to live with a man again. It's glorious. I was going to ask you, do you want to get married again? Hell no. But you. I will never get the.

government involved in any more of my relationships, unless they make more money than me. Are you dating? No. I was, I had one relationship after Stephen. I met him at a cafe. He told me he liked my sweater. We ended up chatting for an hour, asked me to dinner. We were friends for like a month first, and then it progressed. And it just happened. We were together for like two, over two years. Wow. Yeah. And he wanted a baby. baby. Another baby. You want to get married? No, I think I'm done. Yeah. We just want different things. I love the idea of living, you know, having a life harder, maybe as I get older sounds nice. I love my freedom right now. I love it. It's really fun. And like the whole trope of a lonely cat lady,

that's such bullshit. Do you have a cat? No, I don't. But I just think like if you're single, like you're a, you're a lonely can't leave. Right? Women aren't lonely. We are like incredibly social creatures. A very, very successful woman that I ran into recently married to a billionaire and was like, if something happens to him, God forbid, they have many kids together, I'm alone. Like, I love him. I wouldn't divorce him. But like, I'm good. Like, I want silence. That is my luxury. And so I totally get that. So we're not going to see you on dating apps. No.

I've never done a dating app. You know, because I'm an addict as well, I worry that that would be way too much dopamine for my crazy ass. You know, truly. I don't know that I could do it safely. I'd be like, oh, yeah. Oh, that feels good. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, match.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, right? Because the dopamine comes from the search, not the actual match. Most people don't even match. Were you on them? Yeah, my husband and I met on Raya. Stop it. That's true.

Wait, tell me that. I mean, we're going on our, this week is our two-year wedding anniversary. We have an 18-month-old baby. Oh, my, wait, stop. Raya dreams do come true. How long? They should have sponsored our wedding. I should go on it for entertainment.

Like, maybe it would just be funny for- There's good content, right? For sure. It would probably be funny. I've never been on the apps. Like, I met a dude at a cafe. And he's awesome, by the way. We're still friends.

But that's it. Like there's no, I'm not ready. Like, makes completely understandable. Makes sense. Yeah. And I have beautiful kids, incredible friends. I have a support group I go to every Friday, a women's meeting. And it's the best thing ever.

It's a recovery meeting for recovering alcoholics and addicts. And the women in there are like ages 65 to 85. they're like, I just get my advice from senior citizens with criminal records. They're amazing. But these women have like 40 years sober, 50 years sober. You've seen it. They're in through it. Yeah.

I love that. It's like the golden girls of recovery. That's like my big secret too. Like therapy's great, yoga's great, you know, whatever. But my support group, like sitting with a group of women and deeply sharing and deeply listening is so powerful. and you don't feel alone. And any problem you've been through,

they've been through it four times. Well, let's talk about your mom for a sec. Yeah. Can we? It sounds like your mom knew exactly what staying would cost you. Because she went through that. What did seeing your parents' marriage teach you about the cost of staying in something toxic?

Yeah. So my dad is an alcoholic. He has dementia now. He actually, they all just stayed with me for the last week. So I had my entire family. But so I suppose like growing up with an alcoholic father, I always said to myself, okay, I'll never marry an alcoholic. I'll never do that.

And in my defense, I married a sober alcoholic. And I'm a sober alcoholic. So, you know, I didn't want to marry someone in their disease, someone that would come home and just get drunk every night. because he was a wonderful man when he was sober, but he had alcoholism and never did get sober and now has dementia and can't remember five minutes ago. But I think that, you know, when things were getting really bad with Stephen and I, my mom looked at me and she said, Laura, don't make the same mistake I did.

You need to leave. And I think, you know, it's bittersweet because she did say that and she wants to be. the best for me. You know, you always want your kids to do and make better decisions than you did. But I don't know that she lives in regret today. I mean, they just sort of celebrated their 51 year anniversary, like, meaning she was like, it's our 51 year anniversary. And he's like, what? Who is it? Who's anniversary? You know? But you said, what hotel are we at? Who are you? My house, dad. Oh, nice hotel. Whose kid is that? Someone's a, shock him. That's my son. We're not going to shock him. You talk about him in the book,

yes, please. I mean, that's a really sad situation, but you are making light of it in a delightful way, the most delightful way you possibly could. Yeah, well, I just see, you know, she put up with a lot. And again, it's not, I want to say this, like, dysfunctional relationships is not black and white. We know this. It's, there's a lot. There's a lot. lot of gray and there's a lot of good. Yeah, but the X Factor, I think, is money. You know, a lot of women stay in toxic relationships of all varieties because they don't have their own money. 100%. My mom was a stay-at-home mom, was so passionate about caring for us and gave us the most fun childhood ever. And she put everything into being an amazing mom and she was and is. And I'm so

grateful for her. She's my rock. But she never had her own money. So the difference between you and your mom is that you had your own money to leave. Yes. So do you advocate for women to always have their own separate bank accounts? 100%. Yes. Hands down. Yeah. At the end of your book, you say, not to be spoiler alert, you can tell us to bleep this out.

You write, Mommy has money again and you buy a nine foot Christmas tree. What did it feel like going through the ringer, having your, you know, water turned off, having your money taken and used for things that you've, didn't know to actually have your own money and to have financial stability again. It feels really good, but I'm never going to get too comfortable. And that's good too. That's exciting for me. You know, it's really weird. It could be that I'm maybe a bit of an adrenaline junkie or something, but I was kind of excited that I had to start over again. It was like, ooh, what can I do? How can I do this? How can I rebuild? Like, that was kind of exciting because when you grow up with no money or minimal money, we always had food and shelter, but never more. And, you

when you grow up with that, but you have at least one parent who loves you and you feel safe, you know that it's not really the answer. A lot of money is not going to fill the hole in the soul. That is an inside job. I'm so aware of that that it's like, yeah, my water got shut off in my $3 million house. But guess what? I could sell that house, you know, and be fine and downsize. And even move back to Downers Grove, Illinois, if I had to, I'd probably be so fucking happy, you know? So I, yeah, money fixes money problems. It doesn't fix relationship problems. It doesn't fix career problems. It doesn't fix emotional problems. Totally. Now, the being financially unstable, having financial insecurity, that's horrible, right? And so many people are that, where there are, where they're,

just like how am I going to pay my, you know, my rent next month. That's a horrible place to be. Yeah. And even I was on a big scale. I remember like taking these stupid, you know, brand deals just to like be able to pay my mortgage fucking water flossers. You got to try this water flosser. It's going to change your life.

You know, just I would just be doing all these. What's the worst one you took? I would say the water. flosser actually. I really didn't like that thing. Sorry. You did what you needed to do. Yeah. To get to the other side. I did what I needed to do. I didn't hate the water, but my daughter loves it. She's spraying it all over the bathroom. I'm like, no, the other way, it goes in your mouth. She just uses a squirt gun. And how are you doing the off-label usage? How are you doing with money now? Do you have any money questions for me? Probably so many. I mean, I'm doing well. I'm doing well.

I yeah I can just like comfortably pay my bills I just closed a really big deal with um hard rock I'm doing like a six month brand deal with them which is like crazy really amazing just what I needed and I'm doing it like it's a non gambling app which I'm happy about too because I don't want to like necessarily you know push gambling but um it's like a non-gambling app which I'm happy about too because I don't want to like necessarily you know push gambling but um it's like a non-gambling. on gambling app and it's fun and it's like in my Pamela Pupkin character. So I get to basically write this like awesome six month series with like fun characters and make a fuck ton of money doing it. So I'm very happy about that. And like I said, when I was like kind of starting from scratch again, you know, something I've always wanted to do is write a live show and I don't see why I can't sell 3,000 seat theaters, you know, in the next two years. There's no reason I can't with my audience in my capabilities. Literally no reason.

Yeah. And so it's just fun. And then I want to make a movie too. You know? So it's just exciting. Like I just love being creative. And I feel like I'm pretty good at just changing course when I need to. If something's not working, then just finding another way and going with the flow.

I think that's my ADHD. It's served me well in a lot of ways. Well, if you need more investing help. Oh, investing I need. call us private wealth collective we got you wait tell me like what do i need to know wealth management we'll set it we'll look at all your portfolio give you an analysis if you want tell you what you could be investing in what makes sense for you thinking about your goals your risk tolerance all that good stuff do you enjoy that yes i i yeah all job it's what and it and actually you know

most of our clients are women who feel left out of this conversation. And so our goal is to open it up, jargon free, not be gatekeeping, not be gross. Like a lot of the jargon around money and investing keeps women in particular out of the conversation and in toxic relationships. And so thinking they need a man to be in control of all of them. Totally. Will you teach me? I got you, Girl? I need help. Still. It's progress, not perfection. Always. There's always more to learn. There's always more to learn. Yeah. So wait, when did you, how did you get involved in this? When did you realize this was a passion of yours? Well, I started at 18, actually, on the floor of the Chicago mark. I went to Northwestern. Chicago. I know. So 18 was many, many years ago, more than 20 years ago. And yeah, I just realized that, like, I didn't. come from money money as a language like everything else and we just don't learn the language

growing up so my last book was the money school which helps teach everything that we should have learned in school. May I take one? Yeah, of course. Take all of them. Please. Take every single one. But also I'll just be you're alive professor of sorts if you want anytime.

But it sounds like you got to a good place like to sort of close the loop on the fridge. story. Like, you called Stephen. Yeah. And he came. Yeah. When a 600 pound refrigerator fell in you. So you guys are, what's the status quo? We're cordial. We're, you know, I've forgiven him, but I will never take him back. Um, even though, you know, it's really interesting. Someone can break your heart and, you know, break your trust, break your door. And you can still love them. It's really, interesting, I think, because I think I'll always love him, you know, that I don't think we'll ever go away, but I can love him from a distance. I can respect him as, you know, my kid's father, he has 11 months sober today, around 11 months. And he, one of the things in the settlement

that he asked me to do was write in random drug tests. us whenever I want for the next five years or however many years I feel necessary because he's that determined to stay sober. And when he is sober and working a rigorous program, he's, you know, he's a good person and he's a great father when he's sober. When he's not, he's a fucking monster. Yeah, you can love somebody and also. not be with them. That's right. Also have boundaries. Yes, exactly. So, I mean, you know, he has him

one to two days a week right now. If anything ever changes, if he becomes abusive again, if he picks up drugs again, I'll just take action right away. I won't hesitate. We end all of our episodes, Laura, by asking our guests for a final tip that listeners can take straight to the bank. What's one final money tip that you've learned through this whole saga? look at it. Look at money. Yeah. Yeah, just know what you have.

Because I think there may be a lot of people like me, women like me, I don't know, where it's just the narrative is, oh, I'm not good with money. It's not my strength. And you're telling yourself this. Or I'm not doing it for the money too. I think growing up, it was like if you were really, rich, you were probably evil. You know, if you had, if you were wealthy, you were probably greedy.

There was just this negative connotation about people with money. So I'm an artist. I don't care about money. I just want to make art. And so I'm not going to look at the money because I don't care about the money. And there's an element of truth to that. I'm not actually driven by money. But you got to fucking look at it.

And know, know what's in your account, know exactly, you know, how much. your monthly expenses are, what you're bringing in, what you're taking out. Now I work with my bookkeeper and we meet every month about exactly, you know, what I earned, what I'm paying out, all that. And just having that monthly meeting and, you know, speaking to her consistently and just looking, not being afraid to look. That's very simple and basic. But I wasn't doing that. I wasn't looking. It was like, I don't know why. or maybe avoidance but even when I was making you know 200k a month consistently even when I was doing that I wasn't looking because I just in my head I was like I know and I have and he enjoys it so he

can look I just want to make funny stuff it was fun to go dang my idea just made a shit ton of money that that's cool but I wasn't looking so look yes have you changed the narrative to you where it's like I'm bad at money becomes I'm learning about money. I have today. Great. Today is today. Yeah. Hell yeah.

I have today. I'm done with that narrative. You know? I've done. Because I've done that with everything else in my life. I've, you know, I'm a big believer in affirmations and, you know, deserve, if you feel deserving of this, you know, you can achieve this thing. And so many people spend their time focusing on what they can't do.

what's going wrong and replaying worst case scenarios. And I've trained my brain to focus on best case scenarios and what can go right and what went right. And that's a muscle that I built through creating that habit of just like every day making a gratitude list, then visualizing what I want to achieve, even with money. And this sounds like very woo-woo, but I'd be like, oh, you know, I started saying every morning, I am so, I've been grateful I earned six figures a month every single month. And I would say that before I was earning. And within a few months, I was earning six figures a month. And now I'm not saying

that I just, like, wield it in its law of attraction. No, I believed that I could. And so now all of these opportunities that were already probably there. I started seeing them and taking them. And my, if that makes sense, my vibration was just up here. And so I was able to see more opportunities. Whereas if I said, oh, I'm, you know, like when I was a struggling actress, I would be like, all I need, I would affirm this. All I need is enough money to pay my rent and eat food. That's it. That's all I need. And I would affirm that subconsciously.

Just that's all I need. And I'm fine. As long as I can book enough work to just pay my bills and eat my food, I'm fine. And I used to always make just that much. And then I, one day I was like, no, I could make more. Why couldn't I make more? Why couldn't I be comfortable enough to buy my parents a new bed and like help them out and pay their mortgage and, you know, maybe buy my own house and, you know, a cool pair of shoes and a nice car? Like, why could I deserve this? And so I started saying those affirmations. I'm so happy and grateful that I make X amount, you know, whatever that thing is. And I would say it every day, every night, visualize it. And bam, it all. I believe I manifested my whole life through my, through visualizations. And also the work.

It's not just like sitting on your, you can't sit around and manifest. You have to, but you need that mindset first. And then the, of course the work. Yeah, you can't just sit there and like manifest a million dollars. But I do believe if you don't believe it's possible, then it's not going to be. Okay, so I have homework for you. Okay. So I think you should start calling yourself an investor.

Oh, I love that. And I've never done that. Wait, okay. You're an investor. Are you going to make me rich? Obviously, you already are rich. We're going to make you richer. But you can. You can invest. Like if investing scares you. There's something I think really powerful to not just saying I invest in something, but that you take on that identity. You say, I'm an investor. I'm an investor. Yeah, you are. I'm an investor. Hi, I'm an investor. What's your name? Perfect. Okay. That was good. Did you believe it? I'm an investor.