Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin - So You Want to Write a Book…

Episode Date: December 15, 2021

Writing her three (with the fourth on the way!) books has been a very rewarding experience for Nicole. But it wasn’t easy. Today, Nicole reads the letter she wrote to former pre-author self and shares the tips and advice she wishes she knew before putting pen to paper. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Well, it doesn't. Charge for wasting our time. I will take a check. Like an old school check. You recognize her from anchoring on CNN, CNBC, and Bloomberg. The only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. Nicole Lappin. I've never given birth to a human before, but after I gave birth to my first book, I said,

oh, hell to the no, this shop is closed for business for a while. In the same way that a lot of my girlfriends would say after they had their first actual human baby. Then they forget the pain. Then, of course, they go for a second. And so did I. Fast forward, I'm working on a seven book deal right now. You've maybe heard me say that I should have taken book birth control, and I mean it right now, especially as I'm like crowning the fourth one. Thank you very much. And by the way, there's no fucking epidural. Don't get me wrong, though. Being an author is an honor, and it's been a goal of mine for as long as I can remember. But it was far from easy. It started as something I dabbled in on the side,

and quickly it took over all of my career focus and energy. By the time I signed my contract for Rich Bitch, I had four rejected book proposals. One of them was actually called Making Bank, which would have been terrible, dead on arrival. One signed contract that I had to get out of when my new employer didn't approve of it. Another contract that I signed before the holidays, and then once everybody got back to work, that editor was fired, and so went my contract. And then three ex-book agents. Yes, finding the right agent is a lot like dating. My decade plus of false starts put me face to face with a very harsh reality I want to tell you about. Getting a book sold,

writing a book, and making a book successful is a full-time job. Full stop. Yes, there are aspects of writing a book that can be done on the side. You hear about this all the time, right? Actors and celebrities publish books while filming movies or launching products or doing other projects. But newsflash, actors usually have a lot of help and or pay someone to write their book for them. For the rest of us, let's keep it real. An idea for a book is not necessarily a good book. A proposal for a book is not necessarily a good book. And even a finished book is not necessarily a good book. And here's the shittiest part of all. A good book isn't necessarily a successful book. I am the number one proponent

of having a book that expands your brand to a wider audience. It can be a good, if not great, marketing tool. It's definitely a good platform, and yes, it's something you can tell your grandkids about. But before you go down the book writing road, you have to know exactly what you're getting into. So here's a letter I wrote to my younger pre-author self so that you can learn from her mistakes. Dear 20-year-old Nicole, the book world sounds glamorous. It is not. There are a million books online, in stores, and in the library. But for every million books there are, there are 99 million rejections. And you may be one. You will get rejected. A lot. The first thing you should know is that you need to write a great proposal. It

should be solid. As a first-time author, that proposal needs to include at least a few chapters. The proposal can't be based on a so-so concept. And even though you will try really hard, your first proposal will suck. The second book proposal you will write will be for a quarter- century memoir called Growing Young, which was a good concept. A publisher will actually buy it, but it will be at the wrong time in your career. The third proposal you'll write will be about decoding the Wall Street Journal, which seemed like a very cool idea until the Wall Street Journal sends you a cease and desist letter for potentially violating the

trademark. Now, the fourth proposal will be called Making Bank and will bill itself as a cooler book geared toward young men and women. It will go through the pitching process until the publisher who wants to buy it before the holidays is laid off by the new year, which will lead to the death of that book and your idea. The second thing I want you to know is that you will need an agent. The first agent you'll have is from this random small firm in San Diego. She will be about your age at the time, young but hungry, and thus tell you that your first proposal is awesome when it isn't. This won't work out.

And when you sign on with the prestigious Creative Artists Agency or CAA, they will have a high-powered book agent who will take you on. He'll tell you to scrap the first concept and push you to dig deep into your personal history. He will go on to successfully sell that book. But by the time that first deal fizzles, he will have such big clients that he will no longer have time for you. You will need a third agent who forgets to tell you that using the name of the Wall Street Journal is not, um, legal. And so after many fits and starts, you will take a hiatus from the very frustrating world of writing books. The third thing, 20-year-old Nicole, I want you to know is that if you do get a chance at your

first book and it sucks, you can forget about having a second one. So while you're pissed by many of your misadventures until now, they will all happen, I know you hate cliches and I know you don't want to hear this, for a reason. They are a blessing in disguise. Also cliche, but true. Because they will safeguard you from publishing a shitty first book and instead lead you to a killer first book you will pitch 10 years after you started this whole process, one that will become the right content at the right time. The fourth thing I want you to know is that you won't make much money on your first book deal. By the way, J.K. Rowling got $4,000 for her first book deal. You will technically get a six-figure advance, but it will be in name only. After paying a 15% agent fee and hiring a badass

promotional squad, you'll make less than Mama Harry Potter. And I'm not JKing. You will also discover that you won't get all of that money at once. The payments will be broken down in thirds, forcing you to keep scraping by while you write your book. And you will reinvest whatever little remaining money you earned and then way more of your savings into marketing and promoting the book so it sells and you get a second book deal. The next thing I want you to know is that you will hit the New York Times bestseller list and others. It will be the hardest thing you will ever do in

your career. You will spend months and months figuring out how to get your ass on most podcasts, radio shows, and television. You will bust your butt trying to get covered in every publication, no matter how small or big the outlet. You will plumb the depths of your contact list to find friends to ask to promote your book on social media, buy your books in bulk, and throw parties for you. You will spend every hour of the day promoting the shit out of it to anyone who will listen. But I promise you, as exhausting as it all sounds, you will find that in the end, it will be worth it. The last thing I want you to know is that when all the marketing hoopla subsides, people

will, it turns out, continue to buy your book. But not because of all of that hoopla. Rather, because you actually wrote a good book. When all the razzle dazzle goes away, people buy books because their friends vouch for them. So make sure that for every other book you write, and there will be others, it's chock full of good content. And to do that right, it can't be a side hustle. You must treat it as if it's a full-time job. You can do this, young Lappin, but it's not going to be something you want to take lightly. You can show your grandkids any book you write, and they

will be proud of it. But if you show them a good one, you'll be proud. XOXO. Older, wiser lappin'. For today's tip, you can take straight to the bank. Also do a dramatic reading to your younger self. I promise it will feel very cathartic. But also, when you're evaluating potential side projects, you should note how many hours a week the project actually demands.

Once you reach that final tally, you need to ask yourself with that time commitment, is this really a side project or is it a full-time project or a full-time job? Can you pull it off with all the other commitments you have? If you're truly looking for a side hustle, choose the path that will make it possible for it truly to stay on the side. And take some advice from the wise Lapin that I am today. A book is not a side hustle that stays on the sidelines. Money Rehab is a production of iHeartRadio. I'm your host, Nicole Lappin.

Our producers are Morgan Lavoie and Mike Coscarelli. Executive producers are Nikki Etor and Will Pearson. Our mascots are Penny and Mimsy. Huge thanks to OG Money Rehab team Michelle Lanz for her development work, Catherine Law for her production and writing magic, and Brandon Dickert for his editing, engineering, and sound design. And as always, thanks to you for finally investing in yourself

so that you can get it together and get it all.