Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin - The Foolproof Way to Slide Into Someone's DMs

Episode Date: April 24, 2023

Turns out, you can build relationships with industry leaders by sliding into their DMs. Today, a special guest deconstructs how he successfully used social media to build his network. Plus, you'll learn exactly what to say when trying this at home.  For more Help Wanted, click here— and don't forget to subscribe! : https://link.chtbl.com/DyOx50JQ?sid=QR

I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash. But I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start, or even too complicated, if, say, you want to put your summer home in Maine on Airbnb, but you live full-time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a co-host network, which is a network of high quality local co-hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co-hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you.

I always want to line up a reservation for my house when I'm traveling for work, but sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always feels like a scramble so I don't end up making time to make my house look guest-friendly. I guess that's the best way to put it. But I'm matching with a co-host so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself.

Find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host. I'm Nicole Lappin, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. It's time for some money rehab. All right, money rehabbers, when was the last time you slid into someone's DMs? Be honest. All right, now try this one on for size.

When was the last time you slid into someone's DMs for a job? You might be thinking, Lappin, that is not a legit career move. But actually, it is. And I have the receipts. And I'm going to share the proof with you today. It's a Help Wanted episode, which is the other podcast I host. I co-host that one with Jason Pfeiffer, the editor-in-chief of Entrepreneur Magazine, and he shares a success story of someone whose whole life changed after a very successful DM slide. For more Help Wanted, click the link in the episode description. But for now, here's the correct way to slide into someone's This is Help Wanted, the show that tackles all the big work questions you cannot ask anyone else. I'm Jason Pfeiffer, editor-in-chief of Entrepreneur Magazine.

And I'm New York Times bestselling author and money expert, Nicole Lappin. The helpline is open. is open. Every day, you might meet someone who can be useful to you because they have a job at a company that you would like to do business with, or they are just carrying around knowledge that you really wish that you had. And we don't always know what to actually do with these people. You meet them, and how do you make them useful? And so to show how to actually do that right, I am joined by someone who has met someone, made them useful, and then was very thoughtful about how to systematize that in a way, how to create a process for making people useful.

Hello, Terry. Jason, how are you doing today? So Terry, who did you meet that was useful? Yesterday, I was walking through Park Slope to grab some contacts, and I went by New York Kids Club. And I just felt warm and fuzzy and just excited all over again when I walked by there

because, Jason, that is where I met you. That's right. That's right. I am the person you met who was useful. And to be clear, I just, just before we go any further, this is not an episode about how I am awesome and people should meet me. It's really just that this was a really good example of, I happen to, in this case, have a job at a place that you could benefit from having an association with because of the

business that you're in, which you can explain in a second. And so when we met very randomly, it was a good opportunity for you. And that's great because, you know, we all walk around being two sides of this. We meet people who are opportunities and we also are opportunities for other people. I certainly experienced that.

So, okay, we're going to talk about this, how we met and then how you turned it into something useful. But first, why don't you explain who you actually are? Yeah, sure. Thanks. So again, my name is Terry Rice, and I'm a business development consultant. And that normally involves helping entrepreneurs make money, save time and avoid burnout. I'm also a course creator and a speaker. Awesome. So take us back to you are taking your daughter to a gymnastics class. I don't even remember how many years ago. It actually starts before that. And it begins with a vision because in 2017, I made this public declaration at a Facebook page that within one

year, I want to write for a notable magazine, including Entrepreneur, Forbes, etc. So I put that out there in the universe. I want to write for a well-known magazine. Oh my God. So fast forward a year later, we're now in 2018. And my daughter's grandmother suggested bringing her to this free gymnastics class here in Park Slope in Brooklyn. And I went there, I walk in, and I see you. And I'm like, gosh, I got to talk to this guy. This is super important. But if I remember correctly, it was your birthday. So you're talking to your wife trying to plan your birthday lunch. And you're talking about going to all these random places. And I'm like, how do I interrupt this conversation to get known by this guy? That's funny. So I don't remember

that it was my birthday. But that sounds right, because I never plan anything for my birthday. And so then it's like, it is my birthday birthday and we're trying to figure out what to do. So how did you even know who I was? Stalking. Stalking. I had been stalking you online for the last year, literally, and commenting on as many posts of yours as I could. And I would just get so thrilled when you would even casually like it. I was like, wow, he knows I exist. So I had you on my radar in a non-creepy way, but that's how I immediately recognized you when I walked in. I was in shock and I was obviously surprised too. And I assume that the, this is kind of important for the strategicness of creating this moment and then doing something

with it, which is that the goal that you had set to write for a notable business publication and stalking me are surely connected, right? Like one of the things that you were doing was familiarizing yourself with the personalities behind these publications that you wanted to connect with, right? Yeah. And it goes back to this. Hope is not a strategy. You can hope to write for a magazine, but if you don't have a strategy behind it, it's not going to happen. At least it won't happen proactively. I love that. Hope is not a strategy.

You're right. Okay, what happened? Because I don't remember this at all. I remember you coming up to me and saying, are you Jason? And that does not happen every day to me. So that was really cool. But do you remember how you actually interrupted our conversation about my birthday? This is embarrassing.

This is embarrassing, but I'm going to go with it. So I tried to have my daughter walk up to you and say happy birthday, just to have a reason to say hi. Oh. So I told my daughter, I'm like, hey, go talk to the guy. It's his birthday. And she's like, no. So I was like, damn, okay, plan B. That was a good move. That would have worked, I think, but she wasn't having it. So yeah, I just walked over and I said, hey, apologies for interrupting, but I love your podcast. And you were shocked they even recognized you. I think you said that.

You know who I am. And I was like, yeah, man, I share your content when I'm teaching and on social media and XYZ. And that's how I made the awkward interruption to your birthday celebration. That's amazing. Yeah, I've been recognized out in public, I think like four times in my life. So it is a notable moment when it happens. And you also very smartly didn't just say that you knew who I was, you very quickly went into I know your work. And I am a legitimate person who has used that work, which I think like is a quick trust builder, which was really smart. I can't remember much. Again, I was in such shock. I was just like, I can't believe I'm talking to this guy. If that's what you remember, that's great. But what I do remember is this.

You didn't necessarily quiz me, but you said, well, what do you like about my podcast? And then the verbal diarrhea came out because again, I actually have a huge fan. And I remember at one point your wife's like, Jason, we have to go. What's your birthday? And you're like, no, this guy likes my podcast. Like, hold on a minute. Like our kids are running around ready to go. And we're like talking about your work, which I so I do remember that part. Yeah, that I don't remember that. But that also totally checks out because every single time anyone has come up like all those four times that somebody has recognized me, my wife has had to pull me away from the encounter because I will go on forever. So we meet. My experience is positive, but also there's not a lot for me to do with this experience necessarily because we met and you said nice things and I like hearing nice things. And then we had to go. And so I said it was great to meet. And maybe we exchanged some kind of maybe I't know, maybe you, I don't know what we did to possibly stay in touch, but it is what you did next that turned

this from a fun, random encounter at a gym into a business opportunity. Yeah. But I also want to mention one mistake I made in connecting with you, because what we did is we said, Hey, let's talk on social media or whatever. But Jason, I was so nervous to message you that I would pre-write all the messages in like Microsoft Word and then copy and paste them into Instagram. But all these weird spaces came up when I did that. So I was like, oh, great. This guy's going to think, you know, I don't even know how to use Instagram. And I'm bringing this up because there's often a lot of pressure when you're trying to reach out to someone who can use Instagram. And I'm bringing this up because there's often a lot of pressure when you're trying to reach out to someone who can help you.

And I want to relieve that for people at home. We're like, how did, what did he say? How did he do it? I messed up. I messed up and it still works. So just remember that perfection is the enemy of progress. When you have a chance, take it and don't hesitate. Yeah, that's, that's a great point because I don't remember those mistakes at all.

And typically if I see something kind of wonky, I just assume that it was a technological problem, not like there's something weird about this guy that he sent me messages with strange breaks. So I don't have any memory of that. But that's a great point. And also, I really like how strategic you were. I mean, it feels, I mean, Terry, it's funny, because, you know, you and I, at this point, have known each other for years. So to hear that you were like nervously scripting out messages in Microsoft Word before pasting them into a DM on Instagram is hilarious. But also, I respect it. It's really smart. You weren't being cavalier about this. You had set a goal. You had familiarized yourself with the people who could help you with that goal.

familiarize yourself with the people who could help you with that goal. You stumbled into one of them. And then you were like, the next things that I do are going to make or break this moment of fortune. Yeah. And the next thing I did beyond messing up the way I can actually use Instagram Messenger is I just asked how I could help you. And I said, hey, by the way, here's my background. I used to work at Facebook. I'm good at personal branding and digital marketing. And I'm wondering if I could, this would be helpful for you to build your brand. Here's a few ways I can do it. Yeah, right. I needed that help because I am building this personal brand and you had this experience that I, a knowledge set that I don't have. And, and I remember you invited me to basically like to like meet you. I mean, I can't remember the timeline exactly, but to like meet you at your, you were working at this coworking space

at the time. And you did an audit basically of my website and my materials. And you gave me strategies for improving them, which I was very grateful for. That's not what came first though. So what came first was off those DMS, you said, Hey, look, this conversation is better held, held in person. Would you like to meet me for coffee? You know, here in Park Slope. And I was like, Holy cow, this guy wants to meet me for coffee. So we go there and like an idiot, I drank too much coffee.

So I'm talking to you like just, you know, 50 miles a minute. It wasn't speaking to you. And as I walked out, I was like, that guy's never going to talk to me again. Like, this is done. So I keep on bringing these things up because I messed up several times along the way. But my intention in my my altruism, I think is what worked. But yeah, sending horrible message seeming like a mess, but I'm talking to you in person. And luckily, you saw through that. And we're nice enough to continue the conversation. Yeah, I again, I don't remember that. That's're nice enough to continue the conversation. Yeah. Again, I don't remember that.

I mean, I remember the coffee. I don't remember that you were overly caffeinated for it. That's really funny. Although, and I agree with you. I really like that you keep hammering. Like you made these little errors and it didn't really matter. Because, of course, people aren't grading interactions with other people the way that a teacher grades a test. It's like, I'm not looking for points to deduct. I'm basically looking for overall trust and value. Is this a person that I should know and should continue to know? And if that person happens to

talk very fast at coffee, that doesn't really matter. That's just how they talk, I guess. coffee, that doesn't really matter. That's just how they talk, I guess. Although I do think, for what it's worth, good point on being conscious of your consumption because I have learned the hard way about going. Usually my problem is that I didn't consume enough. So I'll go into something and I didn't eat. It's a lunch meeting or something. And I was like, ah, I don't have time for lunch. I'll just eat later. No, no, no, no. Like get some food in me so that my head doesn't get spacey. So I do think a lot about being very conscious about what I'm consuming. Okay. So I know what happened next after the coffee, which was at that point you had provided me with enough insight into you and your skillset that I had a good idea of what you did. And I wasn't exactly sure how you could be

valuable. I don't usually go around the world with like a bunch of holes to fill. And I'm like, where can I find the people to fill the holes? But then a couple of days later, I was in the office at Entrepreneur and we were talking about launching this new product, this kind of subscription product and membership-based and blah, blah, blah. And we got around to talking about, well, how do we market this thing and how do we strategically build it? And nobody in the room had that expertise.

And then I thought, wait a second, I just met this guy, Terry, who has exactly these skills. So I mentioned you in the meeting and my boss was like, oh, that's that guy sounds interesting. We should talk to that guy. And then I made the connection. And that, again, is basically exactly what you wanted to happen. But it didn't happen. Part of it was luck. But you were, as we're talking about this step-by-step and hearing how strategic you were and thinking about it, you were really creating every possible way that something could turn to your advantage. Yeah, I would say so. And here's another thing I did. So there is another platform with an entrepreneur where someone could book time to get consulted by you, essentially. And I made this

video where I did an audit of the landing page and identified three or four ways that you could all increase the conversion rate of people visiting the site by making a few tweaks. And I sent that to you to a tool called Loom. But the benefit of Loom is you can see how many different people watch the video. I think by day two, five different people have watched it. So I was like, wow, this guy's sharing it among his colleagues and entrepreneur and more people are watching it. So that was a huge win for me just alone. Oh, yeah, that's right. I totally forgot about that. I don't remember the chronology of

this, but it doesn't really matter because clearly what you're doing is you are relentlessly thinking about ways to provide value. And you weren't selling anything. You weren't selling yourself either, but you were just making it so clear that you had something valuable to offer that at some point it seems like if you just do that enough, someone's going to say, hey, wait a second, this is exactly the person that I need for this other thing. And I think it's important to realize that when that window of opportunity opens, it can be so narrow and close so quickly. So do not hesitate. Don't wait to have like the perfect DM or the perfect video or whatever. Just get it out because time kills deals, right? We're talking about some kind of business deal here. But the more you hesitate, like the less, you know,

recent this encounter was and the less likely you are to actually make this connection. So just, again, perfection is the enemy of progress. Just keep moving forward, do your best, but just continue putting out that content, that goodwill. Yeah, yeah, right. And you want to stay top of mind because people are busy. And if you didn't send me that thing for a month, it's possible that by a month I would have been like, who's that guy? Oh, right. Yeah. The random guy from the, class. And it just wouldn't have had the same impact. So, all right. In a second, we're going to get to how you have thought through how to systematize this so that it isn't just a kind of random chance encounter. But first, just so people can understand what happened since,

because all of what we're describing happened years ago. And you are now, you do all sorts of things with entrepreneurs. So tell me what happened for you as a result of all of this original early connection. I'm now a writer for Entrepreneur Magazine, which is great. I think I've written around 100 articles over the last four years. So that's been great. I also have a podcast through Entrepreneur Media. It's called Launch Your Business, if you want to learn how to launch your business. through Entrepreneur Media. It's called Launch Your Business if you want to learn how to launch your business. I wrote a book. I wrote a book also through Entrepreneur Media during 2020, which is an interesting time for a lot of reasons, but did that. And I'm also doing some paid content creation deals with Entrepreneur as well. So a lot, just to summarize. Yeah. And in your line of work, that association with entrepreneur also benefits the things that

aren't directly entrepreneur thing, right? Like you just listed a bunch of stuff that you've done for entrepreneur, but you have a whole business that is not related to working with entrepreneur. But I imagine that the association with entrepreneur has really helped all the business consulting. Oh yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's hundreds of thousands of dollars. I can't even count it up right now, but just even tangentially being associated with the brand has been super beneficial. Yeah, that's awesome. Stick around. Help Wanted will be right back. I love hosting on Airbnb.

It's a great way to bring in some extra cash. But I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start or even too complicated if, say, you want to put your summer home in Maine on Airbnb, but you live full time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a co-host network, which is a network of high quality local co-hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co-hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you. I always want to line up a reservation for my house when I'm traveling for work, but

sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always feels like a scramble, so I don't end up making time to make my house look guest-friendly. I guess that's the best way to put it. But I'm matching with a co-host, so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself. Find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host. Welcome back to Help Wanted. Let's get to it. Okay, so Terry, what we've described, I imagine a lot of people will listen to and say, well, that's great. Smart guy, was really strategic, but it's not replicatable. It's total luck. It was a kid's gymnastics class that kicked all that off. And without the kid's gymnastics class, there is nothing. There is none

of the rest of this. So tell me how you think this isn't just a random piece of luck, but is actually something that other people can repeat. Yeah, and it's something even I've repeated several times over the years. But I always say that luck is when preparation and opportunity are met with action. So let's talk about how we met, right? I was prepared because I was stalking you. I had the opportunity because, hey, free class, let's go. But then I took action. And sometimes people are missing

one of those three components, maybe all of them. And that's why they fail. So this process can be replicated. I've done it several times over the years. I'm gonna break down what you do right now. First of all, think about who you want to be known by. Maybe it's a recruiter at a company you wanna get hired by.

Maybe it's a client that you wanna work with. Maybe it's a stage you wanna speak on. Whoever it is, identify, let's say, 40 people that you want to know and be known by. Now, this part's really important. They have to be active on social media because that's where you're going to meet them. So they posted at least, you know, once in the last week. Then you're going to engage with their content over and over again, leaving thoughtful comments. Don't just say 100 or facts. Leave a very thoughtful comment that will get a response to it from them because that's how you start conversations and relationships. And the best comment is going to include a question. So if you had a video that said, hey, you know, my name's Jason and here's how I get into character before I get on stage.

I would reply and say, hey, Jason, that's great. You know, when did you first try out this approach and how did it go? Right. That's a question you can answer. It's not me saying, hey, Jason, great post. Thanks for the inspiration. So it's really important to, again, identify these individuals who are active on social media and then leave thoughtful comments that start a conversation. And then from there, you can go deeper. You can start DMing. You can start meeting via Zoom, whatever it is. But that's where it starts connections are made in the comment section not by sending a connection request and i really like that you give that number 40 i mean 40 isn't a magic number but what you're doing is you're just giving a large number because if you put

all your eggs in i am going to meet this one person well you know what maybe that one person doesn't look at their dms or maybe that one person is just really busy, or maybe that one person just doesn't like meeting new people, which is very possible. So you're increasing your odds. And I'm sure you were doing that. I happened to be the person that you ran into, but you were probably following all sorts of other editors, right? And because you were increasing your odds that one of them would turn out to engage. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, you definitely don't want to put all your eggs in one basket, because it gives you time to test and learn too. It's like, all right, that didn't work, I'll try something different. But the next part after we identify these people, after we start

commenting and connecting is to think, how can I be of service to this person? But don't ask, how can I help you, Jason? Yeah. Name a few ways, right? Be specific. Even if you're wrong, at least your shows, your shows, you're thinking from their point of view and not putting all the effort on them. So I could say, Hey, Jason, you know, can I give you some tips on, you know, other places you can have your kids go play? You might not care about that, but you're like, okay, the guy's trying to help me. Now I want to start a relationship. Unfortunately, some people focus on what they can take from a relationship as opposed to what they can create from one. So focus on that.

It's going to take strategic patience. But the thing is the people who can help you the most are normally getting asked for stuff the most. And they got to brush it off, right? But if you come out of the blue and you're like, how can I help you? That's how you stand out. That's how you make connections. It's so true. I have people who ask me all the time. I mean, I literally got an email

like that yesterday where they said, how can I help you? And the answer is, I don't know. I have no idea. I don't know what you're good at. I don't know what your network is. I have absolutely no idea how you can help me. I'm not walking around with a list of things that I need people out of the blue to do for me. And again, I just want to stress, this isn't about me. I'm just a stand-in for basically anybody in the world that you might want to connect with for any reason. And so people ask me, how can I help you? And I don't have an answer. And then they don't provide an answer. And then nothing happens. So just be proactive.

I mean, I just think about that video that you sent giving tips on how to optimize that little product that we had, the little consulting product. And that thing was so smart. And I didn't ask you for that at all. And had you said, how can I help you? I would have never said, can you look at this product and tell us how to optimize? That would have never occurred to me. So you've got to do it yourself. Yeah. Fortune favors the bold, right? I mean, again, even if you're wrong, at least you're

doing something. You're like, well, this person's an independent thinker and you can give them the context for how you can help. Maybe it's not exactly what you mentioned, but they know the context of how you can help them going forward. Yeah. It's such a great point. Okay. So Terry, preparation, opportunity, action. This is basically what you have laid out. Prepare for it. And then whenever you get any kind of opening, you take some action that is going to show value and put you on someone's radar and hopefully they see how you really are useful to them. Is there anything else? It's patience. That's really what it is because you might not get anything from this in the next week, the next month or ever. But if you're strategically patient, you still will build

a powerful network that's going to benefit your career, your business, even help you grow as a professional and as an individual. So it's not a wasted effort. And you just want to keep on going ahead and committing to that because that's how you grow. Terry, this is fantastic. I am so glad we randomly met at this gymnastics class. And as a final note, I just want to point out that these kinds of things are not one way. You know, I started the episode by framing it in terms of you meet someone who could be useful. How do you make them useful? But the thing is that usefulness flows back and forth. So as you saw the connection with me as an opportunity to achieve this thing that you had laid out that you wanted to do, in the process of pursuing that, you created all sorts of opportunity for me in that first,

you were just kind of giving unsolicited advice. But then once you started working for entrepreneur, you provided a lot of value to entrepreneur. And then also you are now in my network and you know, I have many times texted you or emailed you to ask for advice on something or, hey, I don't really understand how this works, but I think that you do. And that is incredibly valuable to me to have you in my network, just as I am useful in your network. So we shouldn't think about this in terms of walking around looking for who to be able to gain something from or take advantage.

It is at the very beginning going to be incumbent upon person who is seeking the connection to be really proactive about making it. But you want to think about it as a relationship because ultimately the right connection is going to create value both ways. Well said. Well, thanks, Terry. Yeah. Thanks for having me. This was fun reliving it with you and putting together the pieces that I blacked out on because I was so nervous. So thank you. Help Wanted is a production of Money News Network. Help Wanted is hosted by me, Jason Pfeiffer. And me, Nicole Lapin. Our executive producer is Morgan Lavoie. If you want some help, email our helpline at helpwanted at moneynewsnetwork.com for the chance

to have some of your questions answered on the show. And follow us on Instagram at moneynews and TikTok at moneynewsnetwork for exclusive content and to see our beautiful faces. Maybe a little dance? Oh, I didn't sign up for that. All right. Well, talk to you soon. Thank you. you