Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin - Why Speaking Your Values Is Good Business with Dr. Sheila Nazarian

Episode Date: October 20, 2023

It's human to feel afraid to speak out on an issue that is surrounded by anger and division— especially at a time when people are getting fired and backlash for voicing those opinions. But according to Nicole, it's good business; and Nicole's guest today, Dr. Sheila Nazarian, can prove it. Find Sheila's fundraiser for FIDF (Friends of the Israel Defense Force) on her Instagram @drsheilanazarian

I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash. But I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start, or even too complicated, if, say, you want to put your summer home in Maine on Airbnb, but you live full-time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a co-host network, which is a network of high quality local co-hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co-hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you.

I always want to line up a reservation for my house when I'm traveling for work, but sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always feels like a scramble, so I don't end up making time to make my house look guest-friendly. I guess that's the best way to put it. But I'm matching with a co-host so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself. Find a co-host at airbnb.com slash host. One of the most stressful periods of my life was when I was in credit card debt. I got to a point where I just knew that I had to get it under control for my financial future and also for my mental health. We've all hit a point where we've realized it was time to make some serious money moves. So take control of your finances by using a Chime checking account with features like no

maintenance fees, fee-free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Learn more at Chime.com slash MNN. When you check out Chime, you'll see that you can overdraft up to $200 with no fees. If you're an OG listener, you know about my infamous $35 overdraft fee that I got from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it. If I had Chime back then, that wouldn't even be a story. Make your fall finances a little greener by working toward your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in just two minutes at Chime.com slash MNN. That's Chime.com slash MNN. Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. Members FDIC. SpotMe eligibility requirements and overdraft limits

apply. Boosts are available to eligible Chime members enrolled in SpotMe and are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to Chime.com slash disclosures for details. I'm Nicole Lappin, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. It's time for some money rehab. Whether this is your second or 600th episode of money rehab, you probably get my brand, right? Simply, the brand is money is an important tool, and we're going to make sure you have the whole freaking toolkit. And truly every episode of this show, every book I've written, every TV segment I've been on has been all about helping you save, keep, invest, make more money, rinse and repeat. I have told you that I've been broke before and it totally sucks and it's something that

should be avoided at all costs. Okay, so you get it. However, with the terrorist attacks in Israel, some people are facing a singular ethics question for the first time. If our moral compass and group consensus aren't pointing in the same direction, what's our true north? More specifically, if we want to speak up for what we believe to be just and right, should we do it, even if it raises the perceived risk of losing our jobs and financial security? Well, I'm going to turn this question on its head with some help from Dr. Sheila Nazarian, world-renowned plastic surgeon, professor, entrepreneur, TV star, non-profit founder, and unapologetically proud Jewish woman. Because despite all of the firings

and backlash you might be seeing in the headlines or on social media, sharing your values can actually help strengthen your business. Sure, you might lose some customers or patients in Dr. Nazarian's case, but she argues that's just trimming the fat in the process of strengthening the muscle that is your truly loyal customer base. It's a question I've certainly had to ask myself. And ultimately, I decided, yes, I am the champion for financial literacy. That is my brand. That is the brand I have built over the last 20 years. But in 40 years, when I am telling my grandkids about this moment, what would make them most proud? Protecting the brand I built or protecting my people? The answer for me is clear, and it is for Dr. Nazarian too. Here's our conversation.

Dr. Sheila Nazarian, welcome to Money Rehab. Hi, Nicole. Thanks for having me. How are you? I'm doing okay. There was about five days of no sleep and then finally a 12-hour sleep over the weekend. And I'm doing everything I can to self-care and to stay strong and healthy so that I can do my best to help my people. You and me both, sister. So you are one of the top surgeons in Beverly Hills. You're on a Netflix show that was Emmy nominated. You are an ultimate boss bitch. Now you're an Israel influencer, it seems. How did that happen?

Well, I actually started speaking up about four years ago. Actually, no, two, two and a half years ago, I would say really, with great trepidation, lots of fear. My daughter was applying to my high school and I was like, oh my God, she's four years away from college. And I've been following what's been happening on college campuses with half of the Jewish students hiding their identity, you know, even two years ago, three years ago. And so I said, if I don't start speaking up now and normalizing Judaism and humanizing Judaism, what kind of

college situation are my kids going to have? So with lots of fear, I did a post on Shabbat with a hashtag Shabbat Shalom with great fear, because I'm first generation from Iran. You didn't say you were Jewish in Iran. So even having a mezuzah on your door is considered scary in my Persian community here in Los Angeles. So it was it took a lot to even do that. And I just feel like we have to do a really much better job of educating in our college campuses, our teachers in the halls of the White House, everywhere, online, social media, all of it. Yeah, I agree. I remember the first time I posted a Shabbat Shalom. It was actually the same type of thing. And I was like, why am I scared to do this? And I didn't grow up in Iran. Both my parents immigrated from Israel. So I'm first generation American and people are sending me messages. You're so brave. You're so brave.

I'm like, what the fuck? I'm just being who I am. I always talk about a lot of the things that started to change in Iran from the Shah to what you see now, the Islamic Republic. It happened in my parents' lifetime. It happened right around the time I was born. And it was all about, oh, the Shah's the shahs in a castle and there's homeless people on the street, like all of these same sounds and smells. And I'm seeing it now on college campuses

and what is being taught on TikTok and what is being taught in our universities. And it's very scary that people are walking on eggshells and afraid to say what they think here in America. I mean, my parents left everything they had built in Iran just to give us freedom of speech. And now people are afraid to speak and it's considered brave to speak and say what you think. That's crazy. In America.

In America. Can you talk a little bit about your childhood in Iran? Yeah, so I was actually an anchor baby. I was born in New York when my mom was nine months pregnant. She came and had me and we went straight back. That was 1979. And that was the year of the revolution. So the Shah was overthrown. The Islamic Republic came into power. The Iran-Iraq war started shortly thereafter. And we very similar to the images that you see with the bombs coming in. I remember the sirens would go off and we would run to the windows and my mom would say, let's look at the fireworks just so we wouldn't be scared. My parents had two daughters and very quickly realized that Iran was not going to have a great future for girls. And so my dad said he was going on a medical conference and went to Vienna, waited there for us, worked to help us get visas while my mom, my sister and I went to the bazaar one day and they covered us with corn and got us close to the border of Pakistan. We slept in the

desert one night. We were seen by border police in the early hours of the next day. We were sitting on our luggage in the back of a Toyota pickup truck and they began shooting at us, but we were able to get away. And we were in Pakistan for three months waiting for visas. Finally reunited with my dad in Vienna. We were in Vienna for another three months waiting for visas to legally immigrate to the US. Once we were here, we were in a two bedroom apartment living with my aunt and her family until my dad was able to pass his medical boards and be able to practice in the US. And there, you know, I was an ESL, I didn't speak English, very quickly, you know, got up to speed and was able to succeed and thrive

in the US where it's merit based, and you're not held back by anything other than yourself. And I'm grateful to be here and grateful for America and a proud Jew living in America. And what do you think the biggest misconceptions are now about Iran? I mean, it's very unfortunate what is happening, especially to the women of Iran, but it's the first time I'm hearing moderate Muslims speak up against extremism. I'd like to see a lot more of that happening now as well, in light of what Hamas just did. I think that the Iranian people really have done a good job of saying we are not the government, we are the people of Iran. And there's been multiple demonstrations of Iranians all over

the world, demonstrating in support of Israel right now, because Israel was one of the only countries to really support the protests of the women happening in Iran in the recent years. And I think that it's brought a lot of enlightenment to the people of Iran. I had a big activist in my home about a year ago. She said, you know, when it happened to the Jews, us Iranians, we said, we're not Jewish. So why should we care? When it happened to the Armenians, we said, we are not Armenian. Why should we care? When it happened to the Baha'is, they said, we are not Baha'i. So why should we care? Then when it happened to Mahsa, they said, we are all Mahsa. And now we care. If you don't speak up, there's nobody left

when you need it the most. I can't imagine what it's like to have kids right now. It's made me want to have kids and make Jewish babies. Have kids, lots of them. It's the best thing ever. Need to get knocked out first. I think it's this mama bear mentality also with what I've seen of the world and what I know of the world. I think it's also very difficult to convince people who haven't lived under an oppressive regime. It's very difficult to convince people that people don't have the same core values as you. There are people in the world that value death over life. It's very difficult to convince someone who grew up in America who hasn't lived through something traumatic like that, who hasn't lived through a war. No, people actually don't value American core values and they have the actual opposite core value as you. Very difficult, but I think people are starting to see that now and all of

the stuff that... I even had a mom come to me today and she's like, I didn't get it until now. I didn't understand what you were saying. Yeah, I can't imagine what your conversations with your kids look like. And I'm struck by the story you told us about your mom talking about the fireworks outside and trying to be brave for your kids. Do you feel that same idea? to be brave for your kids. Do you feel that same idea? I think, you know, I don't want them to see the horrific images from the barbaric massacre in the southern part of Israel that I've seen. I've asked them to delete their social media for a few weeks. I didn't know when those images were going to leak. I've seen them. But, you know, it's not something that social media would even allow. It's not something that a horror movie in Hollywood would allow because it's that bad. So I've tried to protect their eyes, but I do talk to them

about being proud of being Jewish. Don't take off your star of David, speak up, ask me questions. But it's very difficult for teenagers that are already going through so much just off the coattails of COVID to comprehend this level of hate. Have the kids said something to you or what they've seen at school or what they've heard that surprised you? I think school's okay. There's a lot of support at their school, but they're on TikTok and they're saying it's just a cesspool of hate, cesspool of support for terrorists. It's difficult're chosen to be the moral police of the world and therefore be hated for it? Probably. Has anti-Semitism affected your career in the last few years? which is fine. We've had a pig hoof sent to our office in the past. That was about two years ago from New Jersey. You know, some threatening messages, but I'm really good friends with

the criminal threats unit of the LAPD. I've gone shooting with them. I have friends in the FBI. I have friends in Beverly Hills Police Department. So we're good. Show me who you are. I'll take it from there. Hold on to your wallets. Money Rehab will be right back. I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash. But I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start or even too complicated if, say, you want to put your summer home in Maine on Airbnb, but you live full time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a co-host network,

which is a network of high quality local co-hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co-hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you. I always want to line up a reservation for my house when I'm traveling for work. But sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always feels like a scramble, so I don't end up making time to make my house look guest-friendly. I guess that's the best way to put it. But I'm matching with a co-host so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself. Find a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host. One of the most stressful periods of my life was when I was in credit card debt. I got to a point where I just knew that I

had to get it under control for my financial future and also for my mental health. We've all hit a point where we've realized it was time to make some serious money moves. So take control of your finances by using a Chime checking account with features like no maintenance fees, fee-free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Learn more at Chime.com slash MNN. When you check out Chime, you'll see that you can overdraft up to $200 with no fees. If you're an OG listener, you know about my infamous $35 overdraft fee that I got from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it. If I had Chime back then, that wouldn't even be a story. Make your fall finances a little greener by working toward your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in just two minutes at Chime.com slash MNN.

That's Chime.com slash MNN. Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. Members FDIC. SpotMe eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Boosts are available to eligible Chime members enrolled in SpotMe and are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to chime.com slash disclosures for details. And now for some more money rehab. So you posted the hashtag Shabbat Shalom with great trepidation a few years ago.

What happened since then? Did you feel the same fear before speaking out again after October 7th? When you first start getting online hate or you get like your first bad Yelp review and like your heart is in your throat and you're like freaking out and you're turning red and you can feel your pulse in like your head. I don't know. I think you grow thick skin. And so I wasn't born fearless. I wasn't born brave. I think that you step out of your comfort zone like a couple inches and live in that space for a little bit. And when that feels okay, then you step out of your comfort zone a couple more inches. And so it really is a process.

I remember in 2021, when I first said the first pro-Israel thing, I lost 3,000 followers in 30 minutes. And I just kept going. I was like, I know my core values. You can only get canceled if you give into it. But if you keep going, you're going to find your tribe, you're going to find people that really love you for who you are. And you're going to inspire others to do the same. And I'm sure net net, you've gained followers. Net net, I probably lost followers. It's well well worth it you guys like you don't want

anti-semites following you anyways you don't want hateful people following you anyways and the people that continue to follow you and listen to you and the people that were in the middle and really didn't know anything about the situation i can't tell you how many countless messages i ever see from people saying like thank you for showing the other side. My entire feed was filled with one narrative. Or even people in Israel in bomb shelters being like, you are the only light I see. It's more than just followers and clicks and money. It's about purpose. And it's about feeling good about yourself when you put your head to sleep at night and being able to live with yourself and be able to look at your kids and eyes and say, I am doing my best to make the best world possible for you and your kids.

I thank you for doing that. And I think that those people who still follow you, and I'm sure you've also gained the right passionate followers are gonna root for you. They do. I mean, I thought I was going to lose all my patients and the complete opposite happened. I would walk in the room on a post-op, they're naked and they're like tears in their eyes. Like I loved you before and I'm obsessed with you now. You know, it was totally, I was willing to lose it all because I didn't know anybody who had done that. I didn't know anybody that wasn't like a full-time influencer or a full-time activist that just came out and was like, no, this is not correct. These are lies.

Here's the truth. I don't know anyone who did that. So I didn't know it was going to happen to be honest, but it was okay because I have a roof over my head. Thank God we have food on the table. Kids are doing okay. And it was really just about if this is it for my career, this is it. My parents didn't sacrifice everything for me to be afraid in America. And what about your colleagues? There are so many that are not speaking up in my industry and in yours. Are they dead to you?

No, I think I've lost a little bit of respect. I did a Instagram post for those that aren't speaking up or for those who are putting out those middle of the road messages like peace and love for all and like things like that. I just, I will grow a spine. It's not that hard to denounce terrorists. Isn't your husband a spine surgeon? He is, he is. So you know how to help them with that. Yeah, we can help you grow a spine. What do you think the biggest fear is? I mean, losing business or is it physical fear? I'll tell you.

I mean, I grew up in LA and I moved back over the pandemic. And I was out going to one of the events in Santa Monica. And I was like blasting Hatikva in my car. And there was like a nondes in my car. And there was a like a nondescript van that stopped right next to me. And I'll tell you, like for the first time ever in LA, I was like, turn down Hatikva, like maybe put my star under my shirt or something. I remember getting Starbucks delivered and thinking under my mezuzah, could it be poisoned? I've never had these thoughts ever until now. Yeah. I mean, I think people are definitely in the Jewish Persian

community afraid of physical fear. It happened to us in Iran. So it's not, we're first generation, right? So that was a real thing in Iran. So physical is a big deal. I just went to a halabek this morning just to pray with all of the other moms and say it's a mitzvah. So we did that and we prayed together. And they were all talking about how they took the stars of David's off of their children, or they won't let them walk around with a kippah on right now. So that's real. I think loss of money is real. I think loss of followers is real. And I think a lot of times people just think, oh, I can't make a difference anyways. So why should I put myself out there when I'm just no one, I'm not going to change this ancient conflict. Again, I bring it back to my kids. If I don't

speak up right now, if I don't write letters to administration, if I don't write letters to these colleges and post them on social media, let them know what's going on. Where are my kids going to go to college? Who's going to be educating them? So I think I don't believe in canceling people, but I certainly believe in free speech and holding people accountable to their speech. Let us know who you are. Go ahead. Don't wear the masks when you're protesting. Let us know who you are. If you really believe in what you believe in, show us, show us your face. And if a business owner does speak out and gets backlash from their customers or patients, what would you recommend they do? Do you think they should respond? Keep going. Don't apologize. Yeah. Keep going. You will attract your raving fans.

You will attract the right people that you actually want to spend time with, that you feel like yourself with, that you don't have to self-censor in front of. It's not good for your mental health to always be walking on eggshells and self-censoring. Say what you believe in, attract your tribe, live a better life. Yeah. I just want to underline that because it's so important. So let's say it for the people in the back here. You spoke out and your business didn't fail. Your social media accounts weren't shut down. Your tribe will find you and their loyalty and their connection to you will be that much deeper. because a lot of people come to me and they're like, these are the most important posts you've ever done. Like when you post about your boob jobs or like facelifts or lipo. Yeah, that's like self-promotion. It doesn't move people. But when you're really putting it on the line and showing people who you are, what you believe in and saying what they want to say, but they're afraid to say,

that's when real respect is fostered. And I think people, you show them who you are and they know who you are and they want to support you. I recently did an episode on another show. I co-host with the editor in chief of entrepreneur magazine, Jason Pfeiffer. And he felt like he couldn't change anybody's mind on social media. He's Jewish, but he just stays away from it always. And now I feel like there are people in the world that don't know somebody like Jason He's Jewish, but he just stays away from it always and now. I feel like there are people in the world that don't know somebody like Jason might be Jewish and they hate Jews, but he can raise his hand and be like, I'm Jewish. Hi, you hate me. And I think that's really powerful.

So do you feel like you can change somebody's mind? I do. I mean, I've gotten so many messages from people that have said, you know, because you posted the opposite side, I went and I did my own research. Thank you for exposing me to the truth. I've gotten so many messages. I cannot tell you from two years ago till now, you can change people's minds. And actually, it's, you know, pretty funny. When sometimes they do comment on my feed, I'll use it to show how absurd they are. And people love it. No, I definitely think, A, you can change people's minds.

And the second thing I would remind your friends who aren't speaking up, everybody who visits these Holocaust museums and walks through, they always say, why didn't someone say something? Why didn't someone say something? How could something like this happen? Well, you're witnessing it.

Why aren't you saying something? When you don't say something, you're normalizing it. I could not agree more. I mean, we run a network. It's a small but mighty network. And I, fast forward the videotape, could not look at my grandchildren and say, like, I went through this time and I had a media platform and I didn't do everything in my power to say something about this.

You know, so what do you say to colleagues that are like, yeah, but I don't want to put it on the line like you guys are for whatever reason that's still true. If not now, then when? You can't make someone brave. I mean, you might inspire them to become brave if they're ready for it, but I can't force someone to post. But it is really, I think're ready for it. But I can't force someone to post. But it is really, I think, embarrassing for them. I do. Have you blocked people too? I don't block people that come on and they're just, you know, crazy. I block all the crazies.

I report all the crazies. And also I just posted today, you have to understand that their bot mechanism is so strong, the pro Hamas bots on social media, I just read a statistic one in four pro Hamas social media accounts as a bot one in four. It's insane. I think the biggest misconception that I hear from a lot of people is, oh, I don't have a platform. I only have 200 people following me. I can't make a difference. Or the people following me are already believing what I believe in. So what's the point of me posting anything? So I think that's a huge misconception that people think that they can't make a difference because they have two little followers or so on and so forth. And what I always

tell them is, first of all, it does affect statistics. When people are looking at how many times was this word said on social media. It does help those statistics. I would say number two, when you like and share and comment, it helps the algorithm to raise the voices of people who do have larger platforms and maybe aren't speaking to the echo chamber, like me, because of the Netflix show. I have a global audience who maybe doesn't know, maybe has never even met a Jew. So I think that that helps amplify voices that the algorithm, you can help that. And then also, I think even if you have a small platform,

you can help fundraise. You can inspire the mom that's following you to also speak up. I think courage is contagious. And so if you just get the courage enough to speak on your platform, no matter how large or how small, you're gonna give just get the courage enough to speak on your platform, no matter how large or how small, you're going to give someone else the courage to do the same.

But we need all hands on deck. Like however it is that you can help, we need all hands on deck right now. And we need allies. Yes. We end our episodes with a tip listeners can take straight to the bank. I guess in this case, I would love your advice for how to make a difference. I would say you don't have to go all out like I'm doing right now. As we mentioned earlier in the episode, I think that you just push yourself out of your comfort zone one inch, live there for a

minute until you're comfortable there, push yourself another inch. Little by little, find your courage and speak up. rehab at moneynewsnetwork.com to potentially have your questions answered on the show or even have a one-on-one intervention with me and follow us on instagram at money news and tick tock at money news network for exclusive video content and lastly thank you no seriously thank you thank which is the most important investment you can make.