Money Rehab with Nicole Lapin - Why There Will Never Be a "Real Housewives of Tel Aviv" with Lizzy Savetsky

Episode Date: October 24, 2023

While she hopes she's wrong, Lizzy Savetsky doesn't think there will ever be a Tel Aviv spinoff of the "Real Housewives" reality TV franchise. Lizzy's uniquely fit to answer this question; she was cast as a member of the Real Housewives of New York, but received so many hateful and antisemitic messages, she decided to remove herself from the cast. Nicole and Lizzy talk about what that experience felt like, which television shows do a good job of representing the Jewish experience and which ones fall short, and what it was like for Lizzy to be in Israel with her children on the day of the terrorist attack.

I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash. But I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start, or even too complicated, if, say, you want to put your summer home in Maine on Airbnb, but you live full-time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back, I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a co-host network, which is a network of high quality local co-hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co-hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you.

I always want to line up a reservation for my house when I'm traveling for work, but sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always feels like a scramble, so I don't end up making time to make my house look guest-friendly. I guess that's the best way to put it. But I'm matching with a co-host so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself. Find a co-host at airbnb.com slash host. One of the most stressful periods of my life was when I was in credit card debt. I got to a point where I just knew that I had to get it under control for my financial future and also for my mental health. We've all hit a point where we've realized it was time to make some serious money moves. So take control of your finances by using a Chime checking account with features like no

maintenance fees, fee-free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Learn more at Chime.com slash MNN. When you check out Chime, you'll see that you can overdraft up to $200 with no fees. If you're an OG listener, you know about my infamous $35 overdraft fee that I got from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it. If I had Chime back then, that wouldn't even be a story. Make your fall finances a little greener by working toward your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in just two minutes at Chime.com slash MNN. That's Chime.com slash MNN. Chime feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank N.A. or Stride Bank N.A. Members FDIC. SpotMe eligibility requirements and overdraft limits

apply. Boosts are available to eligible Chime members enrolled in SpotMe and are subject to monthly limits. Terms and conditions apply. Go to Chime.com slash disclosures for details. I'm Nicole Lappin, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. It's time for some money rehab. In all of our jobs, we're having to think now about representation in ways that generations before us simply didn't, right? Now, thankfully, there is a greater call for more representation of marginalized groups, representation in leadership, employment, media, everywhere, really. And I do mean everywhere, because the question of representation has even come to reality TV. I've had a few cast members of the Real Housewives franchise on the show to

talk about the money trail of reality TV, but never have I had someone on the show to talk about issues as critical as representation and bias until I talked to Lizzie Svetsky, who is my guest today. Lizzie is Jewish, and when she was cast in the recent reboot of the beloved franchise Real Housewives of New York, she was excited to have the chance to represent a Jewish perspective there. But when her participation was announced, she and her family found themselves on the receiving end of such overwhelming anti-Semitism that she decided she couldn't do the show anymore. Today, we talk about what that experience was like, which shows do do a good job of representing the Jewish experience, and which

shows fall short, and what it was like for Lizzie to be in Israel with her children on the day of the terrorist attack. Here's our conversation. Lizzie Svetsky, welcome to Money Rehab. Thank you for having me, Nicole. How are you? It's an interesting question. I'm alive, but this is probably the hardest thing I've gone through in my life. So I'm just putting one foot in front of the other, trying to take the next right action. Just been going nonstop. Yeah, you've been going nonstop online. You have a large social media following. You've been putting it to work. You've done an amazing job educating people on Judaism even before the attack on October 7th. Have you always been

this outspoken about your identity? You know, no, I never really set out to be a Jewish activist or an Israel activist. I always was a proud Jew, always loved Israel. Growing up, I never thought that this would be something that I would have to be so passionately on the defense about. It was really during the 2021 uptick of conflict in Gaza when I made the decision to make this my primary focus on my platform, primarily just because of what I saw happening on social media. And I didn't really see a voice like mine out there defending Israel so unapologetically. And it was a really tough time for me because I had no manual of how to do it. And I had never received so much hate in my life. Death threats was really scary. It's hard to say that now I'm used to it. But at

the time I was posting fashion, I was posting lifestyles, posting mom, mommy content. And so I lost a lot of followers and I got dropped by my management company. I lost jobs, but I just decided to stay the course because it felt like this is a matter of right or wrong for me. And I haven't regretted it. The past two and a half years have really been the training ground for what I'm having to do now. Why did your management drop you? I became controversial. I think that it wasn't that they disagreed with my decision to speak up, but it was hard for me to book jobs because I was very unapologetically pro-Israel in a time where it wasn't popular. I had no hard feelings about it. I really didn't.

It was, thank God, like it pushed me even further in this direction. And I'm so grateful to be able to have the voice I have now. And I wouldn't if I felt like I was muzzled because I was worried about losing jobs or followers or. Yeah, I think the answer for you, it sounds like you just leaned into it more. Yeah. We had Shula Nazarian on the show last week, and she said the same thing during the Gaza uptick a couple of years ago. She started posting about being Jewish. So did I. I am first generation American. Our listeners will know my parents immigrated from Israel, always loved being Jewish, never talked about it, like never came up. Nobody cared. And then I think the first time I put something out was like a Shabbat

Shalom during that time. And I also felt the need during that uptick of violence to say, hi, I'm Jewish. I got this question the other day, so I wanted to ask it to you too. Who is your content for? Is it for Jews? Is it to educate people who have maybe never seen or met a Jewish person before? Is it to change people's minds about bias against Israel? My content, I think a lot of us that are doing what I'm doing are in somewhat of an echo chamber. Although with the amount of hate I'm getting, it's interesting because you're definitely reaching further beyond. You can't get hate if you're only reaching people who love you I really just try to put the truth out there my content is quick educational videos about the

truth for whoever is willing to listen and learn obviously I would love to have as many eyeballs on that as possible but if nothing, I would hope that it encourages my Jewish followers to feel empowered to stand strong in who they are and to know they're not alone. So overall, NetNet, do you think you've lost followers since you started leaning into this or have you gained stronger followers? I've gained, I've gained way stronger. In the beginning, I probably lost like a good 10,000 during 2021. And since I decided this is who I am and I am leading strongly and proudly with it, it's, it's only grown and grown and grown. And I would tell anyone out there, don't make a decision about doing something or not doing

something out of fear because you don't want to look back and wish you had done more. I want to be able to look back at this time since October 7th and feel like I did everything that I could. And at the time, I didn't think about gaining followers. It wasn't the goal for me. I just wanted to be true to myself. I wanted to be able to put my head on the pillow at night and know that I had fought as hard as I could for the cause and for my people. The follower gain and the elevation of the profile has just been

a positive side effect. Yeah. I think about the very same thing. We've scrapped all of our programming for the last couple of weeks and really talked about the money trail of the attacks in Israel and beyond. I think about my future self all the time during this chaos. And if I had a printing press, like there were no podcasts during the Holocaust, of course, but like if I had a printing press, like there were no podcasts during the Holocaust, of course, but like if I had a like little newspaper business or something, would I be proud to just be business as usual and report on other things? Or can I probably tell my grandchildren that I did everything I possibly could for our people, which for me is more important than the brand and the career that I've built over 20 years.

A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Because we have to think ahead because we don't know what the future will hold. And we want to be able to feel like we did everything we could. At one point, Lizzie, you were planning on taking your platform to TV as a cast member of The Real Housewives of New York. How did Housewives happen? Housewives happened. It had been in my orbit for, it was maybe like four years of different casting directors reaching out to me from Rony original cast to Dallas to the Roney reboot. And I think just because I'm a public person, who I put myself out there, I don't have a lot of shame. So I think I guess I fit the profile. And yeah, I actually was cast for Real Housewives of Dallas before the show got pulled,

because the ratings. And at the time, I was extremely relieved because I didn't think we wanted to stay in Dallas. I felt like if I did the show, it would have to keep me there maybe longer than I wanted to be. And then like eight months later, after Dallas got canceled, I got a random email from a casting director for the running reboot. And they asked me if I was interested and I said no and then I had a conversation with my husband and he was like Lizzie just talk to them like we're moving back to New York anyway just hear them out just like have that first call so I had it and I knew like I'm not a confident person when it comes to things I don don't always believe in myself, even though I think it comes across maybe the opposite. I have a lot of self doubt. We all do.

get cast. I knew they were talking to hundreds of girls, but I just knew I was like, this is going to happen. The question is like, do I want this? And it was only after it leaked to the press that I was the first cast member to be announced that I started to like panic. I went from feeling like maybe this could be cool. I'm in an echo chamber talking about Israel and Judaism. I wasn't planning to like go on the show and talk about those things, but I just figured if I could grow my following outside of that core base, then I would have an opportunity to educate so many more people just on my own platform. And so that was really my goal going in. But I just, the amount of hate that started coming my way and my husband's way, even just from the leak to the press, I was like, do I want this? Like, is this, is this the path? Like, do I have to do this? I just had a lot of icky feelings about it. And it didn't feel like true to,

to where I was in that moment. I'm so sorry that happened to you, Lizzie. That sounds awful. What kind of hate were you guys getting? I get hate all the time directed towards me, but in this case, it was targeted tweets about me, like tweeting Bravo, tweeting Andy, Instagram posts about me and how I'm a Zionist and therefore I must be a racist and a baby killer. And I hate Palestinians, all of which are not true. And I just felt like the audience was against me before even meeting me. And so viciously, it was like, she loves Israel. We hate her. And then like, how could Bravo do this? And then Bravo actually had to like go on the defense about it.

Andy Cohen had to tweet that he was in shock over how much anti-Semitism was out there. And this was in response to all the hate he was getting for having put me in the cast. And it was really just intense. And then my husband started getting calls around the clock to his office because his number is public, his address is public, just saying really anti-Semitic things to this day. But at the time it was more heightened. Google reviews about him, one-star reviews,

mail to his office, like actual physical mail. And I definitely, there were some fears for the safety of my family, but I also just felt like, is this the path I have to go down in order to reach an audience? It just felt extremely toxic and we hadn't even started filming. Yeah. Did you end up talking to Andy Cohen about it? He's Jewish. yeah did you end up talking to Andy Cohen about it he's Jewish yeah I actually never spoke directly to him about it but I spoke to people who we know mutually including some of the production team and they were shocked more so than I was because I've been through this and I saw it coming. I remember saying to the casting director when she told me that I was getting the contract. I said, they're aware that it says Zionist in my profile, right? Like, do they know how hated I am?

And she's like, yeah, they know everything about you. I was like, okay, like as long as they know, but I think it really took them by surprise. They didn't, I don't think they realized how hated Israel is and Jews. This must've been such a hard decision for you. You wanted more people to see Jewish people represented in mainstream entertainment and Bravo is a huge platform, but the exact reason you wanted more representation, the influence of anti-Semitism was the exact obstacle making that representation seemingly impossible. Yeah, and once I started filming, it became very clear that this was not going to be a good idea, that it was going to just cause more anti-Semitism. And I was going to be the face for that. And I knew that my idealistic goal of shedding light and bringing education was not,

it wasn't going to be able to happen in that forum. And it was a really awful experience. I'm like not allowed to talk about it, but the anti-Semitism wasn't just from the outside. Wow. That just, that made me speechless for a moment because I didn't even think about that possibility. Yeah. It sounds like Bravo didn't have your back, but I'm assuming that that's not isolated to Bravo. Like you would think that some of these networks would have cast members backs or creators backs, but that doesn't seem to be the case either. Yeah, no, no, I didn't. I didn't feel safe on set, off set, none of it. If you had to do it all over again, would you make the same decision? I don't believe in regret. My gut instinct was not to do it and i was convinced otherwise by

good reason and i do think it without question got me more exposure people are still talking about me and the show is like the season's like over and people are still talking about me and I'm not even on it. Like I was not on one episode. So there were some pros to it. I think also just the realization of how hated we are outside and inside the entertainment industry is important for me to be aware of. I don't regret it. And I think it was just part of the story, part of my path. The Real Housewives is a gigantic franchise. Of course, there are a ton of different

shows in all the cities like Potomac, Atlanta, Salt Lake City. It's even gone international. The Real Housewives of Dubai. Do you think there should potentially be a Real Housewives of Tel Aviv? I think that the Real Housewives era is over, in my opinion. The ratings have been not good. And I think the problem is there's so much media out there that we can ingest. Social media, people watching podcasts like this, that to turn on the TV and watch, you have to be an extremely devoted fan. It's not just like the old days where you would just flip it on. And additionally, I don't think that the Real House Wives would ever do a Real Housewives of Tel Aviv because they know how hated Israel is.

I would love it. I think it would be great for Israel. I would probably get a ton of hate, but I just, I can't imagine a world where that would ever happen. Have you seen My Unorthodox Life? Yeah. So Bat Sheva, her ex-husband is my cousin and I've known, yeah, I've known Bat Sheva for years. I know her family. We've been on Passover programs together. I've been to their house, like we're connected. I'm still a talk to Batheva. We've been speaking throughout this whole past couple weeks. I didn't like the show. I think it was not good for the Jewish people. That's just my opinion. I love Batsheva and I support her, but it was hard for me to watch the show.

I think anything that can paint Judaism in a potentially bad light is not good for us. So I saw it as like a dangerous type of thing, but I love Bat Sheva and I'm friends with her. But yeah, I just, I didn't like the messaging. I do think that some of the work that Julia has done around helping religious women who feel imprisoned by the community get out. I think they've done incredible work and I don't want to take anything away from that. And I think highlighting all of that was great, but I feel like I can love them and not love the messaging of the show. Is there any TV that you think is doing a good job of representing the Jewish experience? Miss Maisel? Yeah, I love that show. I absolutely love that show. She's one of my icons. But of course, the main actress is not Jewish. It's like there's always something

with Jews on TV. There's like always some sort of issue. I loved Golda. If we're talking about entertainment beyond reality TV, I loved Helen mirren and golda i thought that that was a phenomenal film and it's very poignant right now golda mayer's experience through the young kipper war which there are a lot of parallels unfortunately this situation was much more brutal that was like army against army This is just terrorists attacking innocent people. But yeah, it was a good film. There's a lot to be improved upon when it comes to Jewish representation in the entertainment world. In the opposite way, do you think there are shows that do a considerable amount of harm to the Jewish image?

Oh, for sure. I think that there's a lot of that. Hold on to your wallets. Money Rehab will be right back. I love hosting on Airbnb. It's a great way to bring in some extra cash, but I totally get it that it might sound overwhelming to start or even too complicated if, say, you want to put your summer home in Maine on Airbnb, but you live full time in San Francisco and you can't go to Maine every time you need to change sheets for your guests or something like that. If thoughts like these have been holding you back,

I have great news for you. Airbnb has launched a co-host network, which is a network of high quality local co-hosts with Airbnb experience that can take care of your home and your guests. Co-hosts can do what you don't have time for, like managing your reservations, messaging your guests, giving support at the property, or even create your listing for you. I always want to line up a reservation for my house when I'm traveling for work, but sometimes I just don't get around to it because getting ready to travel always feels like a scramble, so I don't end up making time to make my house look guest-friendly. I guess that's the best way to put it. But I'm matching with a co-host so I can still make that extra cash while also making it easy on myself. Find

a co-host at Airbnb.com slash host. One of the most stressful periods of my life was when I was in credit card debt. I got to a point where I just knew that I had to get it under control for my financial future and also for my mental health. We've all hit a point where we've realized it was time to make some serious money moves. So take control of your finances by using a Chime checking account with features like no maintenance fees, fee-free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Learn more at Chime.com slash MNN. When you check out Chime, you'll see that you can overdraft up to $200 with no fees. If you're an OG listener, you know about my infamous $35 overdraft fee that I got from buying a $7 latte and how I am still very fired up about it. If I had Chime back then, that wouldn't

even be a story. Make your fall finances a little greener by working toward your financial goals with Chime. Open your account in just two minutes at Chime.com slash MNN. That's Chime.com slash MNN. Chime. Feels like progress. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank N.A. or And now for some more money rehab. Terms and conditions apply. Go to chime.com slash disclosures for details. And now for some more money rehab. Do you know Jew in the City, Allison? She has an Instagram account and she basically has devoted her all of her energy to exposing bad, poor representation of the Jewish community in entertainment. And she's tried to actually get a union for Orthodox Jewish representation because there isn't one. And on all these shows, I think Orthodox Jews are painted in such a false light. That's what

leads to more anti-Semitism because that's how the world is getting to know us yeah so yeah i think there's a lot of damage and i i don't think that the entertainment industry is completely to blame for the anti-semitism that we're seeing but it certainly doesn't help i don't even want to give the trope voice but for the sake of this conversation the stereotype that that Jews control the media is so beyond crazy for a thousand reasons. But there's so much negative portrayal of Jews in the media. Like if Jews controlled the media, you would have been on the Housewives or like none of this would have happened. Yeah. And part of the problem is there are a lot of Jews in the entertainment industry, but they're not necessarily proud Jews. There's a lot of Jews

there that are apologetic Jews, that are self-hating Jews, that just never would want to lead with that foot. I think we've lost scope, to be honest, the Jewish people. We got too comfortable. We felt like we came here, we made it, we just want to blend in, we just want to be successful, we want to be friends with the right people. So anything that goes against the grain to try to promote Judaism in a positive light, I don't want to I don't want to touch that. The attack on Israel, of course, shocked the world, but this year hasn't been an easy one for Jews. And I typically don't like to talk about him because he doesn't deserve any fucking attention. But when Kanye made public anti-Semitic remarks, there was this outpouring of public anti-Semitism. I live in Los Angeles. I saw these flyers around my area. I was completely rattled. And these are important

conversations that the world is now having, hopefully, about anti-Semitism. Do you think it should have happened more then? Yeah, but I think that while maybe you and I saw this coming and are not necessarily surprised to just to see how much hate there really is that was just under the surface this whole time, denial is a comfortable place to live. And it took something so severe to really wake people up. And it was easy to write Kanye off as like, oh, he's a radical. And these people that are posting anti-Semitism are the far right or the far left, or they're just these tiny extremist groups that are putting this out there. Whereas now we're seeing it so much more widespread and in our immediate lives, college campuses, like it's all over social media.

I just read 1200% increase in anti-Semitism online since October 7th, 1200%. It's like it keeps going up and up. It was like 200, then 400. It's like, it keeps going up and up. It was like 200, then 400. It's just exponential. So it's become impossible to deny. Noah Tishby, who's a close friend of mine, and I'm sure you know her. She's like the OG Israel activist. She lives in LA and she said, we warned you. We knew this was coming and you didn't listen. And she's right. Like we have been warning everyone, but nobody wanted to hear it. Yeah. I don't know if I didn't want to hear it

myself. Maybe I'm too Pollyanna ish. Maybe I grew up in a bubble of Los Angeles. I don't know. Or in a Jewish community. But I talked about on a show last week that this was the first time that I felt scared, really scared in LA. I know. And like Uber, I was at an event last night and I have this crystal Israel flag clutch. And I was like, do I need to hide this when I get into the Uber? It's so sad that we have to even think about this, but we're scared because people have called for our deaths. So we'd be foolish not to be aware of that and to take it seriously. The Holocaust wasn't that long ago, but yeah, I think that this is the first time that a lot of Jews who have felt comfortable are for the first time feeling othered. From what I read, I think either you or your husband had

family that died in Auschwitz. Is that right? Yeah, my husband and I also had family that died in the Holocaust, but it was my husband's great grandparents who were murdered at Auschwitz and his grandma and her brother survived. But we grew up taking these things very seriously. I grew up with stories of this. His mother is traumatized from the upbringing. We have a real generational trauma that we carry with us. So when something like this happens, it's not just this one bad isolated event. It's everything from all the generations that have come before us, the years of persecution, of expulsion, of murder, just for being born a Jew. Yeah, I grew up, I remember seeing like the numbers on some of my relatives' arms and it was in our lifetime that this happened. Do you think

about them or how often do you think about them when you're making decisions about how you're going to respond to attacks against the Jewish people? I always think about them. And it's one of the things that gives me the most strength because I don't have the luxury of having my eyes closed to the reality of where anti-Semitism can lead. And it's what allows me to really bring out my inner warrior because I know that I'm standing on their shoulders. And it sounds like you also want to set the example for your kids and future generations as well. Definitely. And my kids are incredible. The awareness that they have.

People always ask me how to talk to your kids about anti-Semitism. I always let them lead the conversation, but I think just by fighting it and leading by example, they're aware and they know that we can use our voice as a weapon and our words as weapons to fight it. I'm trying so hard to do the best I can in terms of leading the way for them. Yeah, I think when it comes to finances, too, the way parents behave with money is what you're inadvertently teaching your kids. They're watching every move you're making in all aspects. Have you been surprised by anything they've asked you about? It's so funny you mentioned that. My dad's an estate planning attorney. So he's all about planning, legacy planning, investment planning, all of it. So I grew up with this lingo, even though it's certainly not my world at all. We were in Israel on October

7th. And so it was a life-changing experience for all of us to be in a bomb shelter and have no idea what was going on and coming out of that. And it was impossible to shield them from the realities of the horrors of what were happening because everyone in our hotel was in a state of panic. They have asked a lot of questions. They know about the hostages. They want to ask about the questions that I can't answer, heartbreaking questions that I can't answer, heartbreaking questions that I can't answer. And it was interesting because just two days before the attack, I had taken my eldest daughter, Stella, to Yad Vashem, to the Holocaust Memorial in Jerusalem.

And she said the most profound thing, though. She said, we were looking at a model of a gas chamber and she said, there's babies in there. What did the baby do to deserve to die? Foreshadowing, of course, the vicious murder of these babies in the South of Israel. And they kept saying to Stella, this is our past and you are our future and you live in the best time in history of the Jewish people. And of course, that wasn't the case. It was the difference that a day can make. And yeah, they've asked a lot of questions. My middle daughter, who's nine, had to take a mental health day this week.

It's just, it's a lot. And there's no manual of how to parent through these times. You're writing it real time, as we're all writing the first draft of history. And there's no manual of how to parent through these times. You're writing it real time as we're all writing the first draft of history and all of our episodes. By asking our guests for a tip, listeners can take straight to the bank. Are there any resources on understanding Judaism or Israel that you would suggest to somebody who wants to learn more? If you want to learn about Israel, the best thing you can do is read my friend Noah Tishby's book, Israel. It's a simple guide to the most complicated country in the world, and it breaks it down in the most digestible, easy way. It's also on audiobook.

This is not a paid plug for her. It's truly been like my Bible of learning how to talk the talk and know my facts. I know it's super complicated, so I always like to recommend that as a way of understanding. Money Rehab is a production of Money News Network. I'm your host, Nicole Lappin. Money Rehab's executive producer is Morgan Lavoie. Our researcher is Emily Holmes. Do you need some money rehab? And let's be honest, we all do. So email us your money questions, moneyrehabatmoneynewsnetwork.com to potentially have your questions answered on the show or even have a one-on-one intervention with me. And follow us on Instagram at Money News and TikTok at Money News Network for exclusive video

content. And lastly, thank you. No, seriously, thank you. Thank you for listening and for investing in yourself, which is the most important investment you can make.