Moore Style - Building Your Confidence in Relationships with Kristin Dalton

Episode Date: November 28, 2022

On this episode of the podcast, I am sitting down with Kristin Dalton of Krush Artistry.  Kristin is a Mother, Lash Artist, Beauty Trainer & Tattoo Artist with over 9 years of experience in the beauty industry.  She is the Owner of Krush Artistry in Austin, TX which provides a number of beauty services that aim at making clients feel confident & gorgeous. Her passion is helping new artists thrive in their business but also truly touch people with their artistry. Ready to embrace your confidence in relationships? Then let’s dive into this episode.  This episode, we discuss: [2:41] How Kristin got started in the beauty industry [8:03] What lip blushing is [10:03] Celeste’s experience with lip blushing  [16:17] How beauty standards affect different cultures  [25:23] Kristin’s experience with doing lashes [28:31] A look into Kristin and her husband's relationship  [31:23] About Kristin’s husband’s devoted and thoughtful nature  [35:43] Qualities to look for in a partner  [38:02] Kristin’s favorite date she’s ever been on  [41:53] Kristin’s thoughts on online dating  [49:21] How Kristin and her husband navigated challenging times  [51:56] Kristin’s final thoughts on beauty treatments  If you're looking for a more personalized service to help you out with your dating profile, you can message me on Instagram @celestemooreimage and let me know your thoughts on today’s episode. I’d love to hear from you!

Hi, everyone. I'm your host, Celeste Moore, and you are listening to the Down and Dirty podcast, aka the Double D's of dating. This is a podcast for navigating the ins and outs of modern midlife dating. Here, we will discuss the challenges that men and women face in today's dating world. Like many industries, this one is forever changing, and I believe this platform will help those who need or want it. Today, it is the best time to take control of your desired outcome, whether it is a marriage, significant other, life partner, or just to gain the confidence in dating once again. Every other week, we will dive in and talk about different viewpoints that seem to be challenges in today's dating arena. So let's get into today's episode.

So I want to welcome everybody today to the Down and Dirty podcast. And today is episode 20. And today I have our guest, wonderful Kristen Dalton with us today. A little bit about Kristen before I bring you on. She is a mother, a lash artist, beauty trainer, and tattoo artist. Wow, I didn't know that about you. Yeah, with over nine years of experience in the beauty industry. She is the owner of Crush Artistry in Austin, Texas, which provides a number of beauty services that aim at making clients feel confident and gorgeous her passion is helping new artists thrive in their business but also truly touch people with their artistry that's amazing I didn't I really did not know that about you that you were a tattoo artist was that something you

did in the beginning no it's actually recent um so added on with the permanent makeup I'm actually getting back to my roots. I actually went to college for art and art history. So it's been kind of fun. This whole, whole beauty business has been quite a journey for me. So it's kind of funny that I'm kind of back doing things that I did before I got into esthetician career and lash artist career, but yeah, it's pretty fun. So, yeah, so let's, let's start at the beginning. Um, I'd love to hear your story on how you got into the beauty journey and how that was something that you realized, okay, maybe this is something that I really feel, you know, confident in, or I feel like I can really give back or I'm really great at it.

So how did that start out for you? So for me, it's kind of a funny story. I was a project manager, mostly building like e-commerce websites for the bulk of my twenties. um just to make more money when I lived in New York City that was a very um a good place to be for that um but then I moved down to Texas and just had a baby and I hated my job um I didn't want to do it I tried my way to work I'm sure lots of people feel that way um and then me and my husband had a lot of conversations about well what do we really want to show our child and we want somebody who's happy every day feels um passionate about what what they're doing or at

least feels like um it's not a crying situation after work every afternoon um so I decided to make a list of things I didn't want to do instead of things I did want to do because I find that is overwhelming especially in our culture where we're told to find something that defines us that our career that in our career that can make us um you know transcend just a job and have something we're really passionate about and there's so many jobs in this world so how would you even begin to find something you love uh so for me it was going through and finding things I didn't love anymore I didn't like being attached to my computer I didn't like I had to work at home at night uh after work a lot of the time projects would be out of scope I was salary but I wouldn't

get paid overtime that bothered me a lot especially as a woman and then I didn't like the idea that there was some sort of ceiling for me especially in the tech world I know it's getting better but it's getting better super slow uh true so for me I wanted something that I could do that had really no bounds on monetarily what I wanted to do so that's kind of where I got started um and then I went to esthetician school as you do um and that takes about a year and then I started my own shop immediately because I knew I didn't want to work for minimum wage for another company. So I just kind of went for it with my savings. And I was really lucky to have a partner who also could help me in a way financially. And we made that financial decision

together for me to start my own shop. And it was just a small room at first. But really, that's kind of how it got started. I always loved art. I always loved makeup. I always loved doing lots of things like that. So I kind of got back to my roots that way. That's so cool. Yeah. It's like really how, how you said you're dissecting your list, right? I mean, this is something I did where, I mean, obviously this new venture that I'm doing now, I'm a little bit older in life, but I knew that I didn't want to do X, Y, Z. Okay. What are my passions like what do I feel that I could one you know make money love what I do I mean no particular order of course but like how do you yes I mean I'm such a list person too so for me

that makes complete sense um a lot too and I think I also I I feel with you I started I went to esthetician school when I was almost 30 so most of the girls in the industry were literally getting out of high school so I felt so behind and so old and I still feel a little bit elderly mostly like I'm wise and I but I definitely they don't get my references anymore so that is a thing I'm dealing with right now that's how you know the generations are completely different are by references of movies and music you're like you don't know that I know we aren't even wrestling yet i don't think so it's crazy um i went to a lash party last weekend dressed as carrie and probably happily people didn't know what it was oh my god that's hilarious

you're like didn't they remake it so it's a classic and it's kind of a newer version too so 2000 so they should know but maybe it didn't have the same impact as the original so who knows That's a good question. Well, I was referred to you by another Kristen, um, Kristen. Yes. I love her. Um, you know, I never knew what I knew. I heard of lip tattoos, but never really heard of lip blushing. And so when I went to go get my lips a little bit fixed, I felt like they were uneven and wanted to put a little bit of filler. She's like, okay, first you need to go see Kristen she needs to do something with these lips and can you explain to people here today what lip blushing is I know it's really funny um lip blushing comes from Russia

most of our really advanced beauty techniques especially with permanent makeup and lashes they they came from Russia um and it's been popular there for probably 10 years but in the United States it's really just started about five years ago and probably the last two years really picking up steam and becoming a service that's offered everywhere so lip blushing is semi-permanent tattoo and the way we make it semi-permanent is we don't go as deep as a normal tattoo we do it that way so that it can fade out and we can change color later or if somebody you know decides they don't want it there is that opportunity and I think that makes people more apt to get it because they're not as nervous and it's basically a tattoo that fills in your

lips with whatever whatever color you um you are drawn towards and then um yeah we we literally just tattoo a lip color on um the procedure lasts about three hours I would say we because we draw first we make sure your lips are perfectly symmetrical and then we kind of get started with the tattoo what it can help with is defining your lips um also giving you a little bit more shape we can change any asymmetry and we can go as far as to help people with um cleft palates with um scars from dog bites all of that stuff so uh it it really is a cool industry it was really terrifying to get into. I'm not going to lie. Tattooing someone's face is not something I ever thought I would do, but I do it like all the time. Well, you're a perfectionist. Yes, I did.

So tell, I love to hear, uh, how was your experience on the client? Yeah. So my experience, I, of course I went in, I wanted to say back in like 2001, 2002, I for the very first time I had my lip semi-tattooed it's called um oh my god what was it it was a soft tap and that hurt so bad I just remember my lips like she explained to me that the lips are kind of like a grape so that when they're super sensitive the skin's really thin and it just was super painful. So when I saw Kristen and she said, you know, you should, I didn't really understand what lip blushing, I was just like, okay, I trust you. Like, um, I, I have on my top left side, it's always been smaller and at least in my pigment. And so

maybe it wasn't, if I put a little filler, but it, it didn't do any justice until I actually saw you. So when I came to see you, uh, it was super painless. I mean, comparatively it's maybe a one or two out of 10, just it's super easy. And I love the fact that you focus on really getting that like a little bit deeper than your lip, your natural lip color. I mean, obviously you do, I'm sure what your clients want, but I really wanted to keep that natural look and, but just to really define, you know, keep my, have more definition of my lips because, you know, as we get older, as I'm finding out, we lose that, that pretty line and it kind of feeds into our face. And it's you, it's not pretty. Yeah. We lose pigment. We also lose, um, obviously volume to

our lips. The best way to describe it is the skin between your nose and your top lip becomes longer and longer and longer as we get older. It's so scary. I shouldn't say that, but when you're used to your look, I felt the same way with my pregnancy. I had an idea of what I look like and what my body felt like and what my body looked like. And when that has drastically changed overnight or within a year, it's, it's really hard to gain that confidence back. And I, so I feel as a woman who's almost 40, and I have a lot of clients who are much older, even like up until their seventies, if I can help just give them a little bit more of that definition and that confidence back, it makes me feel super good. And I'm so glad to hear it didn't hurt. It shouldn't

hurt a lot and uh for those who are wondering i use it i actually use a tattoo machine uh off tap is more like a stick and poke tattoo oh my god it clears it up for you it's like tiny taps with um creating a pixel when i can just use a needle that can just go much quicker so i'm sure it was much faster as well and like i said very very painless and the recovery too was super easy, I thought I would be like peeling for weeks or days. And that was also super something. Yeah. It's not bad at all. When I had mine done, I forgot I did it. I kept touching them and like messing with them. I was like, Oh my gosh. Yeah. Right. You're like, wait, I'm not supposed to touch them right now. But,

but yeah, I'm so glad that you're able to give people that confidence. Cause to me, like if someone was like oh that's not that really big of a deal but to me it was something that I really wanted to do and I I do I just feel more of like I said just like more natural without having a lipstick or lip gloss and I could just have like literally just some kind of Vaseline or something on my lips and feel like I have some color to my face and I feel and I don't even have a cleft palate or some people have a very um very noticeably uneven lip that you help them camouflage absolutely so we can do all sorts of things um but I have been shocked by the amount of dog bites on the face that I have encountered and had to help um create symmetry through those

giant scars I actually had a patient or a client I'm not a doctor um a client that uh came through and her mom is a plastic surgeon here in Austin and she specializes in dog bites because there are so many dog bites per day she's constantly in surgery like fixing that um it gave me a huge awakening now I'm telling my son you know we love animals we love dogs and we foster and I'm like do not get in that dog's face give him some yeah not a good idea it's pretty shocking the amount of lips that I have blushed and they have giant scars running through them from dog bites you know and I'm not saying anything against dogs I love dogs um I think you know some of them come from traumatic places so if you get close to them it's just a reaction for them they don't mean to

do it um but it can leave some pretty pretty gnarly scars so I was kind of interested in that I was pretty like whoa it was shocking to me that so many people were coming in with those so well it'd be perfect to work with that plastic surgeon hand in hand you know okay now you have your face fixed now go see Kristen you know I actually so Dr. Chesler and Kristen um are partners so he actually sends me so many uh referrals for girls who are looking for bigger lips but have kind of exhausted the filler um because filler can only do so much it's if your lips are pale no amount of filler is going to change that you know for sure it's really nice to be able to help those people too um and also people who have hyperpigmentation which is really

very dark lips um we call them melanin rich lips it's usually in people with fitzpatrick um three and up but um it's very interesting how different beauty standards and different cultures also affect people's confidence you know yeah yeah that's interesting too I never thought about I mean we just live in this big melting pot and sometimes you're just like oh you're American so you know we all think the same but that's not true I have beautiful girls who have I actually find their lips so beautiful like brown lips and they're they're like oh my gosh no I want I want the westernized look of having pink lips um because in asia especially like southeast asia like brown lips is very normal that's part of their genetic makeup but um i've definitely

had clients who came in who have been hating them forever and so happy they have an option to change it it makes me sad but i also am very happy to help them and i'm just like oh you're gorgeous but we all have those little things about us and for some people it is their lips so it's it's really interesting to watch like basically a beauty queen walk in and tell me how ugly her lips are so crazy right you're like what's wrong with you you're gorgeous but the funny thing is is there's nothing wrong with um wanting something different and i think our industry is plagued with this idea that it's very vain but we are helping a lot of people heal things about themselves. Um, and it may, it might just be outward, but we're really healing what's

inside of them. So like a voice that has been telling them that is holding them back from feeling confident. So I think the beauty industry provides a lot of confidence, um, in people. And that's really important for a woman because confidence is the most beautiful thing I can think Oh, my God. It's it's beautiful on a man, too. I think confidence in authenticity is like just like amazing. And to be able to find that within yourself. OK, everybody needs help. Everybody like, OK, well, just a little tweak or whatever, even if that's working out, eating better, you know, getting your hair done. I looked it up this morning. As of today, the beauty industry, it's a whopping $534 billion industry. Man, I thought you were going to say billion because there's not one person I don't know who doesn't use a beauty product. Yeah. Even body beauty product, it's meant to, there's so many things it just and then it it continues to grow like 5.87 annually with which i think is

pretty small i don't know if that's like sure our population grows that much annually i know right um but i thought holy shit this is insane but i think every celebrity has a beauty line because it doesn't matter how saturated the market is people still want something new and want something that represents them that's a good point right I don't I don't assimilate like my looks or my age with Kylie Jenner but a lot of people do and she's a billionaire because of her makeup makeup line but um yeah that makes it's a good point because I might resonate with somebody else and I'm like oh, that's something that, that works for me. And, and that's okay. Um, but I think also, like you said, it really can build your confidence and anything that you do in life, whether,

you know, like we're moms, business owners, you know, you have a husband now, but hopefully you didn't stop dating, but you know, in the dating industry, it's like, what are those things that we can build that confidence and relating to dating. I had a girl come in and she had very bad lip blush then. Um, and she had told me she had not dated for an entire year because she was so ashamed of her mouth and she didn't want someone to see her without makeup because she couldn't correct it. Or she would be getting up in the morning to go do it, like fix her face before they saw her because she felt like she couldn't be her stripped down self. And she was talking about how she took it for granted just being her natural beauty you know

wow that really touched me I felt so bad we fixed her lips she looks great she's out there dating again but I can understand um people hold back they people don't live their lives based on small things like this so it's pretty great well yeah it's like uh I know a lot of men who said well if I don't have my perfect career or my perfect job, then I'm not going to seriously date. Or if I'm not a hundred percent there, I'm like, you're never going to be a hundred percent there. Never. If you wait for life to get easy, you'll be waiting until you die. It's never easy. It's never the right time, but you just, you just have good intentions and you, you put out all your effort and sometimes you win and sometimes you lose but I gotta try yeah it's all about just

trying and putting the effort out the universe isn't going to reward somebody who won't do anything themselves you know what I mean exactly I love manifestation and I love the practice of meditation but do I think that me saying I want something is enough no I have to put so much time effort into that manifestation to actually start seeing things come through obviously because that's how it works but um yeah that's a whole other topic so whatever no I know I it's it's amazing because I am the same and I know when I get out of a routine of listening to the people that I listen to to kind of manifest where I want to be in life and out of meditation and exercise or whatever, I noticed that my life just gets crazy and nothing makes sense. Nothing goes

smoothly. So I truly believe in manifestation and you're, yeah, I think that's a beautiful thing. I think more people need to be in line with who they are and what they want and take action. Yeah. And I think as I feel like a powerful woman, most of the time, there's definitely times it feels vulnerable but I feel like you're the same I have a lot of ideas and a lot of things I want to accomplish so I think that meditation for me is like taking a giant like a giant ray of sunshine and and like putting enough um I'm trying to think of the perfect word but pinpointing it enough that it's more like a laser so I can get things done more effectively instead of just having like a scatter of light you know I can actually be like these are the things I I should

be focusing on or these are things I actually want sometimes when you sit down and think about the things you want the more you do you you are not going to do that because you realize it's a great idea but it might not be great with your you know human design or whoever you are so great that we have that opportunity to do that and that um in this day and age it's not looked as being selfish because I feel like coming from my youth it was like be nice don't be selfish don't need all your time to everybody else and your emotional label and god we don't have to do that anymore same yeah it's okay like there's a new it's nothing new but it's okay to be selfish because if you can't fill your own self right you can't give to your children or your business or

another human, uh, you know, your partner. So you're feeling yourself. Yeah. I on other people to fill those things up for you. It's nice when they add to it, but you should, you should definitely, I think self-reliance within that, uh, filling your cups is super important. Yeah. I made that mistake a long time ago when I was like, Oh, he can make me whole. It's like, no honey you're not whole you've got to be whole by yourself how many lifetime movies are like the girl from the big city who's doing amazing economically but she's sad and used to give up her entire life for this rancher who she knew from and it's like that trope has been shoved down our throats like we're we're nothing without a man even if we're the ceo of like

freaking Morgan Stanley it wouldn't even matter because we're sad and alone it's like yeah right we need to have new movies now and I think they're starting to but it's still it's still very slow but yeah I yeah but so you also do um lashes as well yeah so um lashes is where I kind of started in the esthetician career and it's been kind of something that I'd love to do and I still love doing it even when I shift and add new services I always do lashes I love doing lash lifts I do your lash lift and I love that time that I get with clients they get to rest and we get to chat I get very I'm like very close with a lot of them and like you you become a friend so it feels very I don't know not like work for me when I'm doing that yeah and yeah

hopefully my clients enjoy it too but it's it's been a real blessing to have a career where I get to communicate with really cool women and learn about all walks of life all the time so I love that yeah yeah I've from the first time I came in I felt super comfortable I mean yeah we talked about everything like in one sitting you're like okay you're my therapist I know I'm like wondering if you listen to like did we listen to that um sugar baby podcast together yet we have not oh my gosh I have one for you like I love Esther Perel and I love listening to you know different kinds of relationships with people yes um people have in their lives because I think the older I get the more I'm like wow I used to think that was shocking but that makes

a lot of sense to me in a lot of different, like, I guess, out of the box relationship forms. But I find it so interesting. I love hearing about it because, yeah, it's just, it keeps things fresh with your spouse. And I like hearing different things. I might not act on them, but I think it's really fun to think about, you know, sometimes. Yeah. I think we always constantly are, we're either dying or growing or there's no like stagnant,

you know? I think that, I think it's, especially when you're married or with a partner and, you know, you think about when you're dating, right. Um, about the excitement and the fun and the things that you're doing. And for example, your husband was courting you and trying to win you over and now you're married. Well, that doesn't stop. And I think so many people stop, they're like, okay, I have him or I have her and things

are you know things are fine she's not going anywhere he's not going anywhere but you know a couple years later creep up and a couple more a child comes along and then you're like oh who is that person yeah you feel you know I can understand why people in their first year having a baby a lot of people break up because you get absolutely no attention from anyone and everyone's tired and so resentment can build very easily i think that was probably the hardest time in my relationship um which is so funny uh i look back i'm like oh let's never go back there again um but i think there is that element of newness that never it always sounds appealing right and it doesn't mean i want to go meet somebody else it's just the idea of not knowing

somebody and then there's mystery but I don't know so many things about my husband you know I don't think I'll ever know any everything about him so I get really excited when there's like a new piece of him unfolds I'm like oh that's exciting you know I can find I can I can kind of make that exciting for myself another thing I do is like for some reason there's something wrong with me but um I find it hot like he's a musician and I find it really sexy when he gets like hit on and I'm like okay I get kind of jealous but it reminds me that of that chase and I really enjoy that part of it so yeah like the channel it into that so things stay sexy for us but there's definitely times where we're both exhausted and we're like not communicating and

you know it goes up and down it's just a it's ebbs and flows forever nothing ever stays like crazy on cloud nine number 10 I think I would be exhausted if it did same yeah but I do love that I love that little piece that you're like oh so they think he's hot but you know I have him so it's like yeah or a little mystery like you said I don't know everything about him and that's good that keeps things exciting or interesting um yeah I I think that you've got to find ways to make even little moments when you're together like trying a new hobby together doing this or doing that but I love that that's super um I think jealousy can be fun if you're not using it in a destructive way interesting I think um jealousy is kind of

a wasted emotion other than I kind of like it because it makes me like proud of my partner because I think he is attractive and people should want to you know sleep with him but he would never he's the most loyal person I'm very lucky and I know people say stuff like that and then like next week it's like we're getting divorced but um I think he's the most loyal friend and um just person to know if you have him in your life you're very lucky I've never met somebody who is that devoted to their friendships and they're they're funny enough he's like not religious at all but just like morally just so freaking just on point is it's wild to me sometimes I feel like a bad person

that's amazing where do you think that comes from um it's really hard he is spiritual in a way of like more towards like yoga and buddhism and stuff like that he's not practicing buddhism or anything anymore but okay he just very um I don't know if he didn't want to be here he wouldn't you know what I mean he's very about things so when he tells me you know when he wanted to get married or be with me I knew he had taken a lot of time to get to that point and make those decisions and those are not light-hearted decisions for him so in a way it's just like it's just his personality to really be he's very very intelligent so if he did not want to do something he would not do it he's very

stubborn and bratty so in a way I like and I hate that about him but then I enjoyed that about him because I know he's being very brutally honest when he does have an opinion or you know he loves very hard or anything's like anything like that so he was just I don't he's just a weird person I don't know I'm very lucky well it sounds like he knows who he is and he communicates with you he communicates that with you yeah we have amazing communication I had um I mean I've gone to therapy for years he has not but um I don't know I feel like a very good relationship is just open to change and open to compromise and not always compromising I don't think you should always win or they should win you know that's very one-sided but even if we don't agree

on something we really talk about it a lot and there's no judgment there's no I don't think ever think he's malicious with what he's saying once in a while we're gonna fight and be a little like man you know because it's easy to be that but even when I'm giving critique about something like I don't like it when you do this because it makes me feel kind of funky um it sometimes he's just like okay that's really big part of my personality I don't know if that's gonna change but I hear you and I'll try to take steps towards maybe communicating a different way. And it's all about kind of just saying like, you know, that is a core part of my personality right now.

It doesn't always like, it doesn't always work with us, but I think it's an effort that makes a relationship good because you can talk all day. And I have so many clients, he says, he's going to change. he says this he's he told me this he told me it wasn't about me that he was insecure so he cheated on me um okay i'm glad that you're talking and but if he's not doing anything what's the point or she isn't doing anything right they didn't mean it you know what i mean uh yeah so i think it's it really is about action thousand percent yeah if you love somebody treat them like your friend I would never call one of my friends and say like half the stuff I hear the fights about with my

clients I'm like whoa you guys go really hard on each other like very mean and I think you can get into that habit habit of fighting or anytime there's stress in the relationship and that could just make or break you if you can't handle um being open and vulnerable with your partner for sure yeah and when you're that brutal with someone that just chips away chips away and chips away and you know after a while it's just it's done like you know you have to have respect and love and communication and all of these things and yeah like you said it's not always a nine or a ten but that's okay that's the ebbs and flows of a relationship but you guys love each other and you figure it out and you know that's that's a healthy relationship yeah I think it's definitely

the healthiest healthiest relationship I've had with a man in my my life for sure and that's probably good that I chose him to be my husband yeah but I actually with him I had done a lot of self-work and I wasn't looking for a partner I was very happy with myself when I met him hmm so it felt different I felt like wow he can stay in my life as long as he keeps adding to it but the minute it becomes something like that I'm not going to be with that person even in a friendship and he just kept adding value to my life and adding happiness and I think that's really like layman's terms that's what you need in a partner is someone who adds something to your life and uh makes you feel special and also finding somebody who really loves how you look

and just trusting them like that is a huge thing because I think I'm very very pale I have very white skin and I was always told like you need to tan or wear tan or you know that's like our culture as being like healthy right um funny enough in like his culture being super pale is really like royal and pretty but he just loves that and he's like oh don't put any tanning oil I'm like or tanning spray on there and I'm like oh good I can just be super lazy you just like whatever you get yeah but you can be your authentic true self that's who you are yeah so I never feel, I've never felt like, Oh, he doesn't like what I look like. Uh, and I'm sure I've changed a lot in many forms over the last like 10 years, but, um, yeah. And it just kind

of, it, it makes me confident knowing that person also the looks part, we both know that's going to fade brutally. So, but you still take care of yourself, you know, you still, you still do those things. Right. I'm sure you do it for you. Right. I do it for me. Exactly. I start skipping those things. I get really depressed and as fun as it is to procrastinate and not do anything sometimes mental health, but I can understand some people don't need that. So. Yeah. Well, okay. I have a question for you. What was, it doesn't have to be with your husband, but you know, if you want to make it in the last 10 years, that's fine. What was your favorite date and what was it if you have something that just pops in your head real fast

so funny I feel like dates are so nerve-wracking uh I always we get so nervous like huh um and funny really bad dates come to mind which is hilarious um we need it we need a podcast on just that on bad dates oh my gosh I have so many girls who can contribute to this topic I love it gosh you know I've been on really expensive dates like in New York that are like super fun because you're like I do not fit in here it's just like I could never eat at this place without this date and that's exciting in its own way but I think the the dates that stick with me the most are like dates that were just like ongoing dates like I remember and I think someone at my shop was going is going through this now and it really like

reminded me I went on a date with this guy and it was like a morning date it was just like um breakfast or something but he was like I just don't want like this to end can we just like go to a museum and then like go get lunch after and then it went into like the evening spending time together and I think um it felt very natural and I didn't feel overwhelmed and And I don't know, the person treated me, they were very chivalrous, very kind in that way. But mostly it was just like we were equals and really enjoying talking about the same subject. We both had similar interests, but I think it's being open enough to be like, hey, can

I, do you want to like keep hanging out? Because there's so many stigmas against like, oh my gosh, she wouldn't leave or she wouldn't leave or you feel like you're gonna be this like annoying person if you're if you say hey I really like this can we keep going um but I love it when people are just honest and are just like hey I really like this feeling can we just like keep having this feeling instead of worrying about like should I wait four hours to text back should I is that like weird because with women we're always told that we're too needy if we just basically like a person I felt that my whole 20s I was shocked when my husband was just like hey you haven't texted back like all day because

I was like it was like our third date or something I was trying to not be like I'm obsessed with you let's be best friends forever right he was like it kind of hurt my feelings like I really love how much we're communicating when we're together can we keep doing that and I was like that doesn't bother you? And he's like, no. And I was like, of course I would love to do that. It made me sad that I was like holding myself back. But I feel like a lot of women, we feel like we have to, just for wanting anything from somebody. Yeah. I know. Yeah. I don't know. I want to hear your favorite date. I want to hear more. Yeah. So, I mean, I think after all of that, what you were saying is about connection and communication. And, and it sounds like your husband just wanted

to have that connection because he had it and he felt it. And he was like, wait, I don't want that to go away. Or I don't want to wait for that. Yeah. And it's like finding that balance. And that's, it's so sad that like, I hate to call dating a game and it is in so many. Yeah. It's so many, it is in so many aspects. Um, and it's like, okay, you have to play a little bit by some roles in the beginning, just so that it's like a job application. It's, um, making sure you can perform a certain way that coincides with the other person. But yeah, I feel, you know, and it has changed. So, um, to anyone listening, I dated 10 years ago and I didn't meet my husband online. So the whole, the new world of dating, it really does blow my mind. And I only get glimpses

through clients and friends who are still single. And it's very brutal, very brutal now. Um, not that it wasn't before, but it's on a different level. Yeah. I mean, I can only, how I look at is that there's like so much candy in the candy store right there's so many options and there's so many apps and it's like a lot of people don't commit to even getting to know somebody because they're just like swipe swipe swipe swipe if you look at how they look yeah and it's obviously that might be the first lead into a date but that's not what keeps the person and it's like just re-educating people or finding someone that maybe is not online but isn't a group activity something that you like to do just you know there's so many different ways but

yeah online is um the apps are can be hard yeah it seems yeah like like shopping for a human a little bit right it is so yeah it seems like expectations are so high and crazy it's almost like I know if I went on an app today I don't I don't even know I wouldn't even trust myself because I don't know if you're never going to find a partner who fits every single criteria yeah um and definitely dating it's so interesting listening to people on a first date i i have you had this happen where you're sitting and you know people are on a first date next to you so you're like listening because it's so interesting to me yeah or you can see that they're awkward or you know i saw one couple just sit in silence almost the whole time and i was

like they i'm not sure they know how to um banter just about nothing it doesn't it doesn't need small talk but it could just be you know oh i saw that you like this on your profile it's really interesting because um you think after all that betting you're gonna get someone who's just like what you ever hoped for right but it turns out people you have to meet people and you really have to get to know them um before you can you can judge if you're going to fall in love with the person. Well, and the only, yeah, exactly. And the only way that happens is if you sit down and ask questions and like, I don't mean first date, like hard, hard questions or talk about baggage, but at some point, right. You want to see that that person has the same values,

life goals, the things that really, really matter when it comes down to being with someone for a while or having a family or both it's like you said dating um it's the requirements seem like it's higher and higher and it's just I think people really need to get down to like the bread and butter of who they are and what they want in a relationship yes you might have a list but like I guarantee that half that list is superficial oh it's so made up in our mind sometimes we think we want something and that's like the opposite of what we actually need um true it's it's not yeah you it's funny because you watch shows like love love is blind I'm sure that's so weird especially to somebody like you who's like a dating expert and I heard them mention like

yeah on the 10th day I proposed I'm like 10 days and I wonder if that experiment just goes to show you that we expect to have and keep a connection that we have as powerful at the beginning of our relationship forever and if someone knew how to bottle that we would all be in love forever right yep I think in a relationship especially with my husband there's times that I'm way more in love with him than other times and that doesn't mean I don't love him all the time it's being in love that that tingly feeling that like that crazy thing um it it's so special at first because you get it all the time it's like dopamine dopamine dopamine and then over time with somebody I think as a culture we're like taught with these movies and just things that we're supposed to feel

like that all the time and it's like no that's not real even with your best friends um you're gonna fight with them and be like she's a bitch and I'm so annoyed with her right now that can last for months and then you hang out one time talk out your stuff and you're like I love you I'm so sorry I was being such a jerk yeah that's okay I think it's okay to have relationships that aren't perfect all the time and that's really realistic so I don't know I I do I do feel for people and I sound like I think I'm like immune from this going back into the dating space I'm not obviously your life can change in a minute and I hope mine doesn't but yeah I don't know how I would date online I don't know yeah it can be a challenge I think if you set yourself up for

success though there's a way to do it and um it can be done it's what I teach my clients it's like you know what to say on your profile your pictures what are they saying you know based on what you really, truly want. And I think, I think what it comes down to too, is that people have an idea of what they want. But like you said previously, even when we're talking about when you get crystal clear with what you're looking for, it doesn't matter if it's a relationship or it's a house or some of your goals, like when you get crystal clear, then the universe, God, whatever you believe in will bring it to you yes but you you can't live in shadows you can't hide right you have to face those things that you find maybe a little gross about you or things you don't like

about yourself and at least own those things I think a lot of people hide from who they really are inside um or at least don't want to try to like fix it they think they're fixing it by hiding it, but really it comes back to bite you in the butt. So that's awesome that you have a program that really helps people zero in on what they want and actually start welcoming it and trying to have the universe, you know, say like, Oh, I have all these people for you. If they've been waiting for you to find yourself, you know what I mean? Here is Mr. Right or here is Mrs. Right. Like you just needed to, to know yourself exactly. And I think, you know, like you said, I think a lot of things, um, that are superficial

at some point end up, well, why didn't this work out? Because at the end of the day, she didn't want to have a children and you did or whatever the values are different. So difference for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Right.

I um as somebody who didn't think that was going to be part of my plan and my husband it wasn't part of his plan and then I miraculously got pregnant after thinking I couldn't um oh that was a doozy in my life but um I definitely you know when we faced that I told my husband straight up and it would have been so devastating but I would have gotten through it because it would it was the right thing to do I offered him an out I said I know this isn't part of your plan um and you don't foresee this in your future and I didn't even think it would happen but now I I want to do this I was like you don't have to do this with me so it was a weird perspective to be like from a committed relationship where we both had the same

values but you know a really strange body thing happened and we had to face that and make different decisions um and he's turned out to be just like this phenomenal father and partner through it not that we didn't have some insanely hard times but um yeah so i think i think if you if you do love somebody you want them around um and you make a decision like that you never can go back on that decision I think if at any point he had said like well I felt pressured into this I would have broken up with him because I'm not in that business of making people stay when they don't want to actually like the least hot thing is when people don't like me interesting i don't know that about you something's wrong with you because i'm hilarious

but um i think all women should be like that if someone doesn't find you amazing what a turnoff like come on you shouldn't be with that person period absolutely you should be turned on about how cool you are and how much you have to offer no matter if that's emotionally fiscally um how you look whatever it is finding that confidence and being you know unapologetic for who you are is is really good and I love seeing it more and more I feel like the new generation is so like confident and the women aren't putting up with bullshit and I love it thank god right I know and even if that's getting your lashes and your lips done and whatever that you know as part of the journey yes and being unapologetic about beauty's um treatments is also

a huge thing because people assumed or when i was younger people assumed if you got plastic surgery you were just really insecure or trying to look young or there were all these horrible things people would say and it's like who isn't trying to look young are you joking me yeah like no wonder the kardashian skin looks like that they go get laser treatments like three times a week i wish I were on that level because their skin's beautiful I don't I don't identify with everything on that they do with their body and I don't want to change that but for me I've made modifications and I'm so happy I did yeah you know and that's your prerogative and you shouldn't feel bad about it like you said so to everybody out there do you what makes you happy what makes you feel good and

don't let anybody tell you different. You got to listen to yourself. So the only thing you can do wrong in this life is not be your true self. Oh my God. Yes. Just be yourself and the universe brings you what you need. But if you're faking being somebody else, it's going to bring you that. So yes, yes. Well, you set up so perfect and I really appreciate you being on this amazing episode and i hope everybody took some nuggets from here um where can people where where can people find you um people can find me on instagram at crush artistry crushes with a k r u s h artistry or we are located in east austin um off of mlk and alexander we're very close but we have websites and all the things. If you just want to hit up Instagram, you can book me or find my

location from there as well. That's the easiest. That's awesome. Well, you're the best Kristen. And I know that we've been trying to get this going for so long and I love all of the wonderful things you bring to this. So thank you again. Thank you so much. And I am honored. You are so smart and wonderful. And I love what a bad-ass woman you are. I love everything about you. So I'm just happy that the universe brought us together. Same. Thank you so much. Thanks for tuning in to today's episode. Come and hang out with me on Instagram at Celeste Moore image. Let me know your thoughts on today's episode, because I always love hearing from you all. You can find all the links and resources in the show notes of the episode on

my website, CelesteMoore.com. Okay, that's all for now. I'll see you in the next episode. See you next time, friends.