Moore Style - Creating Your Ideal Relationship with Darron Brown

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

Darron Brown, the host of A Podcast for Men joins us this week for an edgy and entertaining conversation about dating and sex! We talk about his experience dating women in different areas of the country, different nationalities and the experiences that opened up his mind to having a contemporary relationship in the future. I believe anyone can gain something from this episode but especially if you’re ready to expand your ideals around traditional relationship roles.   In this week’s episode, we discuss: [1:32] About Darron Brown [3:20] The inspiration behind A Podcast for Men [9:19] Biggest differences when dating in the Bay Area vs. Salt Lake City  [12:25] Dating American women vs. foreign women  [15:30] Darron’s opinions around when to have sex with a new partner  [17:07] Darron’s ideal relationship  [23:39] The experiences Darron had that opened his mind around sex and relationships  [30:35] Darron’s current relationship status and how he plans to move forward  [37:47] Darron’s last relationship and his daughter  [44:14] We need to invest in learning how to date  [48:33] Darron’s favorite date    Connect with Darron:  Website  Podcast  YouTube

Hi, everyone. I'm your host, Celeste Moore, and you are listening to the Down and Dirty podcast, aka the Double D's of dating. This is a podcast for navigating the ins and outs of modern midlife dating. Here, we will discuss the challenges that men and women face in today's dating world. Like many industries, this one is forever changing, and I believe this platform will help those who need or want it. Today, it is the best time to take control of your desired outcome, whether it is a marriage, significant other, life partner, or just to gain the confidence in dating once again. Every other week, we will dive in and talk about different viewpoints that seem to be challenges in today's dating arena.

So let's get into today's episode. Welcome to another Down and Dirty podcast. This is episode number 44. Before we dive into today's episode, I'd like to introduce my guest today. His name is Deron Brown. Correct. I always say that because I have an uncle, Darren. And so it's one letter off. People always call me Darren. So you got it right. Yeah. I mean, I knew you before, but I just want to just double, double checking. So he is the host of a podcast called A Podcast for Men. What does it mean to be a man in the

world today? That is the question that plagues many men today. With the increasing loss of fathers in the homes and the lack of male mentorship, many men are confused about what being a man really means. So, Deron Brown is a former D1 football player and software engineer who is passionate about helping men. In fact, he teaches them how to become a software developer. He grew up in San Francisco Bay Area and is currently living in Salt Lake City, Utah. First of all, thank you for being on today's show. I really appreciate that. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure to be here. It's always nice to check out things from the other end. I'm so used to hosting and interviewing other people. It's nice to be

on the other side and actually tell my story. I agree. It's such a different script when you're on a guest because you can just really kind of just be and relax a little. You never know who you're going to interview sometimes whether or not you're going to, you know, it's going to flow well. So, um, I was on your podcast a couple of weeks ago and it was great. You have great questions. You're just a, you're a good interviewer. And that's something that I'm learning through this whole process of really kind of, you know, really trying to grasp what that person can, can really offer as far as their expertise experiences you know what they're great at because i feel like my audience is while it's mostly geared towards men i do have women on

here as well so um but anyways i um i really love that you created this podcast uh how did you come up with the idea was it something personal for you um honestly uh i was teaching people software development before i had my podcast and i wanted to help grow my brand and reach a a larger audience so i thought the best way to do that would be with a podcast originally the podcast was named geek speak because the name of my software company is geek mode dot tech and um yes i teach software development so i thought maybe if I have a podcast that specializes in, um, it targets software developers and talks about all kinds of different types of nerdy things like psychology, philosophy, um, things like

that, um, that I would actually bring in more software developers of people who are interested in the tech field. But a year or so into it, I realized that most of the videos I got the most traction were videos around manhood and relationships. So because of that, I felt like it was time to pivot the, uh, the business and actually start targeting, um, start discussing some more of those, uh, having more of those conversations around what it means to be a man and, um, how, how do, how does, how does modern day relationships fit with just culture in general? I think that we, we have a idea like today, we know that nobody's

living by gender roles, at least for the most part, we're not fitting into those traditional roles anymore, but we still have traditional institutions such as marriage. And a lot of those institutions just don't fit with today's society. So I wanted to create a platform that has that discussion. I really love that. I love that it was, you know, kind of had a different agenda with the podcast and you saw what really was like what people really wanted. And I think I'm getting to that point, right? I think my year is coming up in April. And I mean, I have a variety of topics so i feel like everybody kind of likes this topic and they like this one and you know but everybody likes to talk about relationships drama and sex so you know that's a hot topic

okay no brainer there but so so your your podcast is named down and dirty so why did you name your podcast down and dirty you know it's kind of sounds kind of kinky well it's it's also um the double D's of dating. And it's just basically down and dirty. I just want to be able to, a lot of my clients who come to me are a little like skeptical about talking about maybe sex or things that are uncomfortable or like, how do I, you know, how do I please her in the bedroom? Or, you know, like there's, there's these questions that I think maybe I wanted to create a platform that we could talk about anything dating related, right? dating's not always like pretty dating's not always like um that went excellent and you know

his manners were fantastic you know it's like yeah it's you know let's get down let's get dirty let's talk about things that maybe aren't like you say you know the society the society norm or if i'm a cpa and i live in x city you know maybe i maybe i'm not that comfortable talking about this, but here's a platform where I can go listen to, you know, so-and-so talk about his dating, you know, experiences or his sex experiences, stuff like that. So there's no, there's no subject that's taboo here and I want that to be known. So yeah. And I want to educate. I really I want to educate. I like, I'm a, I'm a, um, a teacher at heart and I love what I do. I love to make men better. I like to make men better for women. I like people to be happy. And, um, you

know, if I can do that on style and grooming and mannerisms and, you know, dating etiquette and, you know uh sex whatever like then i'm i'm happy woman so what's so crazy about this space is that a lot of like shows that talk about relationships and dating and things like that they're usually talking about male female dynamics when it comes to like um do this on the date and um try to make her comfortable or you know red flags etc but people don't focus on the sex sex is a major part in relationships is usually the first thing that you usually address you know um i know when i'm looking at a woman i'm looking at her for sexual reasons especially if i don't know her i get to know her over time you know and i think that i think that if more hosts like yourself were actually

having these types of conversation about sexual dynamics you know um how to arouse a woman how to make her feel comfortable you know how to show like if you have a nice body you know that's going to like arouse her or make her a little bit more interested in you. And I think that, I think that we basically, we need to start having more conversations like that. Yeah, I agree. It's just real conversations or conversations that people still have in their head. Like it's not okay to talk about why I don't understand. So I want to bring those people here, um, um, and allow them to, you know, give, like I said, their experiences, their expertise, let's have conversations about it um and yeah i it's it's the ones that are most listened to so i'm gonna i'm gonna bring

it in all sorts of forms but i really love the fact that um like you know you created this and you're a software you know geek or engineer or whatever you want to call it but i love that you have like this dichotomy right you've got this very smart um mind but then you've got this like very real about what's going on in today's world with men and relationships and stuff so um that's really cool so you said you're in salt lake city um and you grew up in the bay area so what would you say the biggest difference is in the dating arena for you i would say this um in the bay area i would say women are more aggressive and um yes they're more aggressive um i've had i've had experiences where in the bay area i'll have a group of women will

approach me i've had like there was one situation where a group of white women about three of them approached me and then they asked me i'm gonna be blunt on your show can i be blunt could you can i cuss on your show no not oh yes yes yeah you can totally and i had i had a woman come up to me with her friends it's like hey do you fuck white bitches and i told them i told them i most i most certainly do you know and um there was another there was another situation where i was in oakland california one time the other incident the one i the previous incident happened in mountain view there was another time when i was in oakland california and i was at some club and then um i had um i think it was an ethiopian woman she approached me and you know asked me to

dance with her and um i've had i've had other situations where like it was asian or polynesian but people are more the social dynamics in the bay area are different from um from salt lake city utah in utah i would say that most of my experience with women in utah are foreign so i've dated a lot of european women a lot of african women and when i have dated a utah woman typically women from utah they'll they'll see me as attractive but it's all about like um group approval like they they really they they try to see does anybody in their group know because utah is a small a small solid city is a small city so most people know of somebody so a lot i feel like a lot of women are governed more by their social group in utah you know utah has a religious thing as well so a lot of people

who are mormons they try to stick around mormons if they're from utah they're not mormon they try to stick around people are from utah they just have that weird kind of um social dynamic but um if you're if you if if you can get within their circle they have time to get to know you then you can definitely get with a utah woman and date her and all her friends that's interesting date her and all our friends that's usually how it goes commodity well that's that's how the girls are usually like i said if their friends like you they'll like you so kind of like it's like a competition thing yeah that is interesting though i mean each and and i i kind of wanted to break it down for the city purposes just because um yeah also san francisco in general and within that

in outlying areas as well it's always been very like you know blue and very relaxed a little bit more liberal and so that doesn't you know it makes sense how women are definitely a little bit more approaching you on the aspect of wanting to get to know you like cut right to the chase like they're more they're more open they're more open you know that's what it is yeah yeah um and so the the women that you've dated you said are usually european or african or just not from utah right more exactly i will say this about because a lot of guys there's a lot of conversation on the internet about dating foreign women and foreign women are better than american women and it's not the truth the biggest difference between american women and foreign women is maturity and i would

say it's the same thing for men i think that in our culture men and women are maturing a lot slower than previous generations so people don't know how to talk to the opposite sex people don't know how to um just how to continue a relationship a lot of times um if you're too serious here it can kind of make people feel uncomfortable but what i've what i've noticed or what i've experienced dealing with european women and african women they're more direct you know um if you want to date tell them you want to go ahead and you want to date them and also the way that They do it this way differently. Typically in America, when you're approaching a woman, at least for me, women and men, we kind of start things off sexual.

So we're looking at a person like, oh, is this person, would I have sex with this person? Like, who's this? Are they popular, et cetera? But when you want to get to know a European woman, typically, like, well, at least for me, when I went on dates with these women or I tried to hang out with these women, they would bring like their friends. So they created an environment where I was forced to like get to know them. and I didn't like it when I was younger but looking back I think that that was the right way because we were actually start we were actually building a relationship right we were sharing experiences and getting to know each other so yeah that's the biggest difference is the

maturity level that's really interesting though and it's definitely culturally you know because yes as growing up when you're younger and you're dating and it's like usually oh yeah if he like good looking do i want to like hook up with him but i think uh european women i'm not sure like you said african women they they want to make sure that you you're actually a valuable person before they go there they want you to be a man they want to see if you carry yourself like a man you know what are you doing with your life do you you know how do you treat people are you respectful how do you speak they pay attention to that a lot more i've noticed yeah and i think that's so missed these days it's really really important it's kind of what i'm trying to teach uh you know my clients

it's how to build rapport right we all look we're all gonna get to the sex part and i don't want you to waste like a bunch of time either especially as you get older right you you know more what you want i think just from experiences like okay that didn't work in that last relationship this is working i want this i don't want that so you cut out the bullshit um which i think is very important i think you really need to come into um you're pretty young right late 20s no no early 30s early 30s okay actually so you're you're yeah you're at that age where you've had enough relationships and you're like, okay, I know what I want. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So I think exactly. But I think it's important though, you get to know someone a little bit, right?

But when is it like, when do you think it's good to say, do you have it on the second date, the third date, fourth date? If you're on a fourth date, you're like, okay, how do you feel about, you know, sex? How do you feel about this? How do you feel about that? I mean, I've had sex with women on a first date, the second date, the first night I met them within minutes of meeting them. I think that the biggest thing is that when it comes to sex is to let things happen organically. A big mistake I used to make was that I used to put women into categories. I'll say, OK, these women are the type of women you have sex with. These are the hoes and these are the women that you marry.

So I'm going to treat these women different from the other women. And I was kind of biting myself in the foot because what I realized is that all women like sex. You need to be you need to be your authentic self. You see them as a sexual person, you know, show it, you know, let them know you see them sexually. Go for the kids, you know, make those moves. Let the women set the tempo. If a woman's not comfortable, she'll let you know. You'll see it in her body or she'll verbalize it. But I think as a man, you should always be the leader. You should you should go talk to him. You should initiate sex and then let things go from there. thank you thank you thank you thank you yes women want that they do they want someone to step up and like you said pay attention to their body language they might not be comfortable saying something and so they're a little like but their body language will never lie never yeah definitely um so what is your ideal relationship look like oh man i was just talking about this at the gym with some guys yesterday and um it's like i said i'm older now so i can kind of have an idea what

works for me i used to think something was wrong with me growing up because a lot of my friends they like it was like man i want a girlfriend so bad and i was like man i was never that guy i was always focused on sports and I was just like I liked having sex I was like I really don't want to have a girlfriend so I thought my wiring was off and I used to force myself into relationships when I was younger I was like okay I guess I'll make this girl my girlfriend she didn't do anything to to earn that position but I was like okay I'll make her my girlfriend and after having these you know mundane I would say these typical relationships that we see cookie cutter of relationships that we see on a TV or within the media, I realized that that really doesn't

work for me. I need, I need to be with somebody that allows me to be me, allows me to continue my ambitious efforts, allows me to travel the world, do things like that. And then they can be a part of that. And then also I want to be with somebody that doesn't, isn't so concerned with controlling my dick. You know, a lot of women are so insecure. Well, not a lot of women, But some women can be insecure about sexual competition and what you're doing. And the way that I see it is that I don't own anybody else and nobody owns me. So for me, just because I am so ambitious, there's no way for me to really date multiple women like that, because I personally I get really annoyed texting a lot of different people. So I feel like because because of the way I am, I would prefer to have.

at most I would prefer to have, um, two wives and some children. And the reason I say wives is this is because a lot of guys are on the internet talking about high profile men, high status male, you know, you have to accept him cheating and dealing with women. And then I get what they're saying, but that doesn't really fit me because I like building a close bond with the woman that I'm dealing with. I like having experiences. I like building with them. But, um, the idea of having a solid partner next to me and then sleeping with a bunch of other women, it's a waste of time. So I say, the reason I say two wives, because I would prefer to build two quality relationships with two women and have experiences with these women and actually build a future with

both of them, a family and do things like that. Yeah, no, I love it. I think there's something for everybody and I think it's okay. I don't legally have two wives, but maybe one wife and a girlfriend i don't know i mean i don't know not in the least here but you never know well you never know because today today things are changing like um people frown their heads at like polygamous relationships the idea that another man's wife is sleeping with another guy and another and a woman's husband is sleeping with another woman you know but about 50 years ago people turned their heads up to gay marriages you know people like oh wow you're you're having sex with the the same uh the same gender oh my god what are you doing i think that we're at a a weird stage in

the culture where things are a lot more free and we're we're trying to we're kind of like creating what what the um the future will look like so i think that i think that because where we have a better idea of like human nature we realize that everybody doesn't fit in a monogamous monogamous relationship some people are um they have better they work better in poly relationships uh homosexual relationships, et cetera. I think that because of that, there should be, we should open that conversation around having more than one wife. You know, there's a difference between sleeping and getting a bunch of people pregnant as opposed to actually building a family. Yeah, no, I, I, I agree. And I hope, but, uh, you know, this country is a mess. I want to go

into that one. Um, hot mess, but yes, I think that, you know, a lot of people don't fit the norm. I know I never was like, I pushed for so long to be this very like traditional. I just grew up a very traditional type family. Um, and I always felt like I was like the black sheep or I just, I don't know. I just tried to fit into this mold and I just always kind of pushed back from it. And, um, realized probably when I was like 21 that, okay, I'm not that traditional. I'm not that normal, uh, or what society is normal. And I'm okay with that. It took me a lot, you know, more years of experiencing things and doing things, but, uh, until I really became comfortable, but, you know, I was married once when I was young for a minute, uh, maybe a year, uh,

yeah a real minute like married way too young I wasn't like didn't want children because I was the oldest of five and I just felt like I just I knew that I want like had more to give I wanted to be this career person and I just I didn't know what it was at the time and and then I had a few relationships after that that kind of showed me um I was I was in college I was a dancer a stripper and i experienced things within that culture and um you know living in las vegas at the time you know i mean anything goes in vegas right uh going to hotel orgy parties like just seeing things and my eyes were like this big like what is going on in this world how old were you when were experiencing that 22 oh wow yeah you really opened your eyes I had similar I'll let you I'll

let you finish but I have similar things that open my eyes when just playing sports you know yeah I mean you know just it's just life and like who who I was dating at the time and you know you know money everywhere it's just like you go from this like a very sheltered kind of traditional life and then you like i just project that you know project it out like just oh my god so i have many many more stories but my point is yes i think that experiencing things going through things you i would have never known before but have molded me into like okay i'm okay with being who i am and what i want to do in my life so but tell me about your experience well i want to um comment on what you said about um you feel like you're trying to fit into an

image or something like that um i feel like that's most people i think most people are born wherever they're born and whatever way the group thinks they just kind of adapt to that adapt to that and they um take on the beliefs around that and people get stuck and that's kind of where a lot of the jealousy comes from because when somebody's bold enough to uh step outside of this step outside the box you know it makes people question their own beliefs you know what they're doing a lot of people they want to do and say certain things but they just don't have the heart to do it and when they see other people living the life they want to live they just they just get jealous you know the biggest thing big thing that opened my eyes um in college because i had

remember i was telling you i had idea that you i used to put women in categories this woman is wife material this woman is sex material and um i was telling uh because i i box i compete in boxing and i was telling some of the younger guys on the team i was like you know honestly man the biggest hoes in high school were the first ones to get married when i got in college like a lot of them got married in their early 20s you know i was like the women who really like slept around are the ones who had trouble with relationships in their 20s or stay single all throughout their 20s was usually the ones that were like really innocent growing up they got to college they're from athletes or like the frat guys and then they just were like exploring their sexuality i was like

there were women that you would have no idea were uh were as nasty as they was just looking at them you would think this woman was like a cookie cutter girl she was sweet and then you realize she's sleeping with all these guys on the team she's eating ass blowing everybody i'm like oh my god this is i was like man it will like it will open your eyes and i was like man you know it's just college college and basically it let me know i learned a lot about just uh sexual dynamics and what people were really open to doing you know because i had no idea i always always i just put people into the i put people in an image and i kind of expected that to be the reality but that definitely was not the case i think we all do i think it's just habit it's it's why i focus

on image consulting right but um but yeah we we really look at something and we automatically put them in a category or in a box or whatever i mean it's just human nature it's conditioning it is what it is i get that a lot i get that a lot i've gotten that because my hometown in the bay area was murder capital in 92 and um when i came to utah i used to wear like a do-rag you know they don't wear too much anymore but i used to wear a do-rag and i went to one of the best high schools in the bay area because of my athletic gifts really expensive catholic school was about 14 about 10 to 14 grand a year it was a pretty expensive high school so when i came to utah a lot of people didn't know anything about like my um academic background they just saw the

way that I looked and I remember just like um they used to call me gangster d and um when I yeah that was my nickname but then I lost a lot of friends when I started when gangster d started getting better grades than them and he was passing he's going to grad school because people didn't I didn't fit in that box you know and even now like um people you know um people who know my background they see me um they know that I have a career as a software developer now I have the podcast and i'm doing things and i can see even women that i've dealt with in the past that because women especially in your college they're looking to see what your major is they're looking to see what family you come from you know all this different stuff and now that we're out in the

real world i even see it from like um women i used to speak with like they didn't think that i was like uh capable of doing like i will be doing what i am doing because uh the way that i the way that i was raised and where i came from people had an expectation i even i even had a woman a good friend of mine that was latino and she um her mother always told her that you know you get with you give it a white guy you're set and um she ended up getting with this guy and he came from a good family good looking guy i know him he's tall he's handsome but he was lazy and she ended up staying with him for about seven years he didn't work for four of those years the last four years she supported both of them you know and then she realized that white guys is just as

broke as everybody else and everybody's figuring it out you know and it's you know she she had to kind of like get over that that belief but yeah people do that you know we all have false beliefs that's for sure well i don't know i you know i have my friends are are and i love that my friends are because i love who they are like that's it i mean i love to have intellectual conversations i love to learn i love all these things but to be someone who has a do-rag or a hoodie or like whatever and oh they're not going to be someone or just because they lived in a city that you know it's just it's insane to me i didn't grow up in like you know if you knew what county i grew up in in florida you would think

that i was so wealthy but my parents struggled man you know so it's like yeah it's just it's interesting it is what it is what it is i know um but i think it's important for people to understand uh it's so really okay and completely like to be comfortable and authentic with your wants your needs and your desires and relationships i mean i think the clearer you are the better because like you said i mean you're gonna find that double wife situation right you're gonna find someone that's going to be like i don't know what that looks like breaking it down other than having a family if you are looking for your wives to be together is it like or if it's just separate like that i've had women i haven't figured it out but i've had women tell me before and i think i was

just too mature at the time and i still was tied to an image but i had women they were aware that um other women found me attractive they saw the attention i got and i had women tell me that really loved me that supported me and had my back you know time when i look at around i don't mind uh sharing you i just want to be number one you know and then when i was younger i just i wasn't thinking the way i'm thinking now i was i just kind of laughed it off so but i definitely know there are women who who aren't so concerned with what you do sexually they're not trying to control you they just want to be around you they like your energy they like your your vibe they like who you are and they want to be with you and build with you i just i didn't know how to pick

when i was that young and i wasn't thinking about relationships like that so yeah but like like you said your focus was school was football was like all the things that really were important to you and and uh you know as you've gotten older and you like you said you kind of like oh that doesn't work for me but i like this and that you know and that's okay um i i guess i guess my question would be how do you move forward with this and have you had any conversations with someone currently or or recently about your ideas for the future relationship for you i just got out of a relationship so right now it's been a few months and i'm back in the dating scene so i haven't had that conversation with anybody but um the way i do know people who do have a well i know somebody

that has a wife and a girlfriend and um the way that he manages it is that he has a house for his wife and a house for his girlfriend and he goes in but like each day he stays at um the one house you know they rotate different houses but he's a polygamist so his wife and his girlfriend have different partners i'm not a polygamist so i would i think i'll take bits and pieces of that i think that it makes sense to not have women under the same roof and then um from there i really don't have a um a long-term vision of how it looks but i think that um once it's known that that's the type of relationship that i want i think that i will build the all three of us would actually build that and try to make that work i know that in some muslim relationships i know

some guys that have i know a few muslim guys that have multiple different wives and their wives actually communicate their friends they work together they they're all a part of his business so they kind of have like a team idea so i think that ideally it will be something like that like it wouldn't be we would have to work together we couldn't be completely it can be separate lives we all have to be living the same like yeah it would drive you it would drive everybody like bonkers if you had to try to separate that i think you would benefit mostly but this is like team as a team yeah i mean because if you plan to have children with both then you know it would make sense to blend a family i don't you know that's not my call well my dad well

check this out my father was um my dad was really handsome growing up my dad they called my father a pretty boy thug my dad was always locked up he but he was really handsome he was jacked he had tattoos girls just loved him so i remember when he was um while he was locked up like random random women would just pick me up from my house take me clothes shopping get me anything that i wanted and it was because my dad just had it that way you know he had women that he i don't know some man just got it like that you know he had a way with women and uh he he just um and they never and he had a bunch of kids he had kids with most women but they all lived in like they all grew up together they all live in the same area all the families knew each other so they all kind

of like worked together to yeah make sure the kids knew each other we all did things together i mean looking at it now i'm like man how the hell you did that when i was a kid i didn't think i didn't think anything of it you know right well he probably made sure that it wasn't like uh an awkward situation for you you know he's he's so he's he has such a powerful personality and he's so assertive that when he speaks people are quiet and they just listen so i'm pretty sure people felt some type of way especially women but because he was so solid and aggressive and authoritative i think they just listened like okay they just went along with this work yeah yeah yeah yeah well i hope you find i mean i think i mean it's anything's possible right i

love that i love the possibility like you said today like i don't know my parents grew up in the 70s so it's like well as a teen you know and it's like this there's this very different um so different mentality of like what's okay what's not okay like you said just for example for gay marriage but like yeah my i have a brother who's polyamorous he just literally came out to us over the holidays and you know he's newly married but like they both you know are experiencing you know other relationships and they have a very tight schedule and you know everything like works but it works for them and they're happy and like exploring you know being young 30s i'm just like hey i just don't want anybody to feel like they own me i don't like being controlled i don't like

when you with certain people i think it's most i think the most important thing is respect you have to have respect for yourself and your partner no doubt but then also you have to i think when people want to control people that's when the problems happen you're supposed to do this you're supposed to say this you know and when you want to control people sometimes you'll put down your partner just to like bring down their self-esteem and it makes it easier for you to control them or something like that but i think that the root i think the root of problems and relationships besides the finances come down to control yeah i'm also huge like no i i have my voice is too big you can't you can't come in here unless we're like you know on the same playing

field so yeah that's a big thing for me I don't know I don't know that I'll ever be married again marriage is just not my thing I don't know I'm okay with that too um it's I don't know it's just this idea that I could never be with another guy or another woman again and it's like yeah that for me I don't think that works so it would just have to not be a conventional relationship do you want to have a husband and a wife oh no that's too much oh okay so you want to have either or a husband or a wife yeah no I don't know that I like I mean I'll have a boyfriend or girlfriend I don't know like I don't know it doesn't matter it's it's I would like one stable person to like be my I don't even know that I like 100% want that so it's like it sounds nice right it sounds

like to, to count on someone sometimes, like if you're, you need something or you just want to go through some life experiences together, but I feel like it limits a lot of other things too. So it's, yeah. You want to have a quality, you want to have a quality relationship. I think universally everybody, regardless of how it looks, you want to have a quality relationship with somebody. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very true. So, you know, I got my own issues being a dating coach too. So it's okay. It's all right. We're we're, I'm working on myself though. That's, I think if you're constantly looking at, you know, looking inside and really digging deep and constantly doing the self, you know, reflection, self-work and just making yourself a better person. I think

that that's, that's big, right? I don't think learning stops. So, um, so I guess, I think I might have asked you yeah do you so you said you just got out of a relationship and was that a long-term relationship or was it uh something it was a short relationship it was a short the reason that the relationship was i needed some time at their end because i was with that girl for i've known her for a long time but i was with her for about four months and um got her pregnant so we have a I have a daughter now and we while we were um thank you it's um I can get to that too but while we were um seeing each other uh it was obvious that both of us like kind of combated and it wasn't going to work and we're going to end the relationship and then she got pregnant so

try to make it work it didn't work but um because of that and it's a whole big life change and then um I'm figuring that out and I'm also I just purchased a house all this stuff so I was like okay i need to take some time to take some steps back and then get reorganized before i start moving forward yeah with that and um for me personally i mentioned when you're on my show i love kids i grew up in a family of 11 children i'm the oldest um i'm good with kids so this is a big deal for me because this is something i've always wanted i always wanted to be a father and um it's just awesome to see my daughter grow because she looks she looked dead on me when she born and she looks like my mother and it's cool to see how she changes every month you know every

month she's like a new person she's more curious she's she's learning and it's like now that I've and I think having a daughter has made me a better I want to say it's made me better in my relationships to be honest because like I said I've always had um I think I was spoiled with good partners because i would hear stories from guys about how women ain't shit and women you know they're a hassle all this stuff but all the women majority of the women i dealt with were really kind really sweet really supportive they didn't argue they didn't do anything they kind of just you know followed my lead but i thought that was normal but it was it was my it was my normal you know and then since i've been um since i've been dating and i'm more aware i'm more conscious

of things um i just know exactly what works what doesn't work what i want and what um the future ideally looks like for me and i would have never got there yeah it's great it's great i would have never gotten there if i didn't have my daughter because there was other women there was other women that i was seeing too you know um not while i was seeing her but a little like at the beginning and a little bit before there are other women who were um would have been better partners honestly but um i just had a thing for this woman and um now that i'm more experienced i have a way better everything the picture is so much more clear for me when it comes to like my future what i'm going to do and you know how things are going to actually look that's a beautiful thing to feel

let me tell you yeah i mean i had my daughter at 30 so you know something about she calms me she like grounded me she made me definitely a better human she's made me I've learned so much from her and I know that you are going to experience the same thing and there's nothing like it it's phenomenal so I'm excited for you you had your daughter around same time I have mine same age I have mine it um yeah and I'm glad I had a daughter and not a boy I'm glad it was a girl because I don't think a boy would have touched me the same way my daughter touches me you know yeah so i was like okay now even i even have more respect for women now that i have a daughter because i feel like this woman is somebody else's daughter you know and it's like

oh wow and i know how i feel around my daughters i'm like more cautious about how i deal and speak and handle women oh i love that i think we need more of that cognizant viewpoint from fathers from men you know coming into this world it's so easy it's so easy to create man it's like boom it's not for everybody but for most people it's it's super simple but the act of taking the ownership and responsibility of being involved is something i didn't experience i didn't have with my daughter's father and it um i thought it was a good judge of character uh you know and i just there needs to be more men in this world who really are like you know what like kobe was with his daughters and it's like

you know just just owning and being and teaching and like that's that's that's where we're gonna change the like our they're you know what's the norm for them it's um it's uh well since i have my daughter the mother actually just moved like an hour or so away and um that makes things a little bit harder so i have to see her like every other weekend but before the daycare was right next to me so i could just pick her up or bring her over i think that a lot of guys because i hear a lot of guys complaining about divorce or um situations that basically impact their relationships with their children what i and then just going through it i realized a lot of guys are full of shit they don't really they're not making the initiative to really be in their kids life

They don't really putting up the money to actually, cause when I'm not, I wasn't married. So when you're not married, you don't have rights to your child. So you have to go through the court system and get your, your, your parental rights and everything else. And I feel like just cause I went through it and I can hear what men are saying. Some of those men aren't really like fighting for their, their children, you know, the way that they claim they're just complaining. I would say that.

Yes. Well, I'm, I'm excited for you. she's gonna bring so many learning tools and avenues and like you said i love that you're clear i love it like okay this is what i want for my future this is like i don't care that i'm not typical normal bullshit whatever you know i i love that i love that people own who they are be authentic because you're not going to meet that person for you right i mean if it's a two person relationship if you're not fucking clear if you're not like this is who i am and i so love myself and i i know i'm gonna meet that person for me a lot of people need to work on their dating

as well because um i i put so much time into becoming a good athlete so much time into getting good grades in school so much time into my career and a lot i think when i was younger I wouldn't even hear this from my female friends. People just expected things to happen. They expected the relationship to just, I'll meet somebody and this will just happen. But no, you really, you have to, you have to date. You should really date with more aggression than you do anything else because that's the most important relationship. Well, that's one of the most important relationships in your life is the person you choose as a spouse or a partner. And I've had plenty of female friends who are in their 30s that are single. And what I realized, the thing that they have in common is that they really didn't date. They didn't date in their 20s. They didn't date in college.

Some of them would have a bunch of options because they were hot, but then they wouldn't even date all of their options. What they would do is choose a guy and then stick with this guy for an unnecessary amount of years. And then they would know that the relationship was dead in two years, but they just wanted things to work. And then they would waste their youth on the guy and they would get out and they would never even develop those dating skills. So I feel like men and women, they need to like in their 20s, especially if you're in school and you're around a large amount of people, you should really invest in getting to know somebody learning how to date in a mature way yeah that's a that's a really good point because yeah we get later and later in life and we get really yeah if you if you've never experienced that if you don't know how to have these

relationships and deal with issues and communicating and listening and like all of these things um and then finding out what you want right and stop being like a people pleaser a lot of women are so yeah an ideal you know i feel like when you're young you have an ideal image of what your relationship will look like what the perfect relationship would look you have an ideal but you really don't know what's going to work for you until you have relationships you You know, I think it's important to date multiple people, men and women, you know, some people you like more than others. But I promise you, if you date multiple people over a year long span, there'll be some people who treat you better than other ones. And once you didn't expect to treat you a certain way, it'll be easier for you to see like, OK, this is who I am and this is what my ideal partner will actually look like.

Because sometimes you get what you need. It just doesn't look like what you want it to look like, you know. yes oh my god you said it like right on the money for sure we don't always know what that looks like and you think you have this idea and it's not exactly or what we do with old patterns right we attract our parents you know we attract what's familiar but that's not what we need that's actually the opposite a lot of times so that's why um there's a guy called ron wills he a book called nice guys and players and one of the things that he mentions in that book he mentions the imprint he says that a woman's imprint is usually her father the first and the first three guys she had sex with so typically when you hear a woman saying like all guys are the same or i keep

running to the same guys because your imprint you kind of been like i don't know engineered to go for certain types of men unconsciously yeah yeah it happens all the time until you actually deal with the the issues and then know that okay that's a trigger for me or that's transference that's not really what's happening um and really start um looking for what you need and want versus what's familiar so it's yeah you can get it's really important especially if you keep having the same experiences over and over and over you probably need to start looking at yourself and what's happening yeah yeah definitely yeah well I really like have loved this conversation um I think I just want like one more question um out of all of your dating experiences

what what would you say one of your favorite dates was and and what was it my favorite dates oh wow well my favorite dates honestly it doesn't consist of like doing an activity and going out and it's usually the um i had the most i had the best times with women when i was just like going on a hike or just walking with them and having these types of conversations because i was able to really connect with them and i was able to really think about the conversation we had and it made me think about them when we were um when we were apart you know um i think if you can put yourself in a situation where a woman has time to actually speak to you and get to know you i think that's where you can build like um like that strong type

a connection you know and this is coming from a guy you know honestly i'm just just keeping it real i used to you asked me a question do you have sex the first date second date or just right with me no this is coming from a guy that's that's used to just having sex right away with the woman you know typically most of my relationships early on when i was younger like the you know it was it was on immediately you know but like the the best date i would say is when i went on a hike with a girl we were just like we were just talking for like hours you know all the way into the hike started at like 8 p.m and it ended at like 3 a.m you know we were just hanging you know utah is more outdoorsy so you can see the stars you can see everything you can chill beautiful that's

probably my best day yeah i love that you said that that it was that you put the tune to it was the connection you know because i think um men connect sexually right so a lot of the reason why they go i mean obviously you get turned on but the the sex is the connection for the women it's the it's talking and speaking is first it happens happens between the ears yeah and so the fact that you can kind of yeah that was really cool i like that that you were able to see that and i'm good i'm i'm good with words i say if you don't if you want to keep your woman don't let her talk to me because obviously i'm a host i'm good with words i can talk to i can talk to anybody I can take off panties with my words.

And I like it. I love, that's what I miss. That's what I really don't like about this culture. Like I loved, I remember how much anxiety I had before when I first started approaching women. This is when I was like 14, 15. I used to have anxiety, but I knew that I saw enough men speaking to women that I knew that this was something I needed to work on.

And I love the whole experience of seeing somebody from the first time, locking eyes. She sees me approaching her. she's nervous i'm nervous but i go up to her i say hi she says hi and then we have the back and forth dialogue and then we create some kind of connection we have we share that moment and then i can call her on the phone see how she's doing be cute and flirt we're on the phone or you know meet up and continue it like i miss that because that's that's that's a skill i developed and that's how i like relating to women you know you can still you still have it and you can still use it i think um i think there's there's a need for for the listening and the the banter and the you

know cheeky comments and just like getting to know each other i think it's important that's how you build that's how you start it well okay so where can um everybody find you if they want to go to your podcast or socials or find more about about you okay so i'm on every single uh streaming Network. The name of the podcast is called A Podcast for Men. And you can also search for that on YouTube. If you want to follow me on social media, follow me on Instagram. My Instagram handle is I am Duran Brown. So check me out there. Awesome. Thank you so much for taking the time. I love chatting with you. I think you're super interesting. I can't wait to talk to you again. I know we will. Yeah. And I know this is going to be a super useful episode. So

thanks again. And I will talk to you very soon. Hey, thanks for having me. All right. Take care. Bye-bye. Thanks for tuning in to today's episode. Come and hang out with me on Instagram at Celeste Moore image. Let me know your thoughts on today's episode, because I always love hearing from you all. You can find all the links and resources in the show notes of the episode on my website, Celeste more.com. Okay. That's all for now. I'll see you in the next episode. See you next time, friends.