Moore Style - Cultivating Confidence Through Fitness with Chad Raynor

Episode Date: May 9, 2022

Chad Raynor, a fitness and wellness instructor, is here today to chat about how working out contributes to confidence, lifestyle changes, and a sense of accomplishment. He shares his own experiences with divorce and dating, and we discuss the complexities of introducing a new partner to children.    This episode, we talk about: [4:12] How Chad got into fitness and health [7:28] Why people seek personal training [9:53] The mental component of fitness [12:15] Making lifestyle changes [13:27] Taking care of yourself to attract a romantic partner [16:26] Chad’s experience with dating after divorce [19:51] Introducing a child to your new partner [22:18] Where Chad would be if he could choose anywhere in the world Connect with Chad: @technicalfitness Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode! Come and hang out with me on Instagram @celestemooreimage and let me know your thoughts on today’s episode, because I always love hearing from you all!

Hi, everyone. I'm your host, Celeste Moore, and you are listening to the Down and Dirty Podcast, aka the Double D's of dating. This is a podcast for navigating the ins and outs of modern midlife dating. Here, we will discuss the challenges that men and women face in today's dating world. Like many industries, this one is forever changing, and I believe this platform will help those who need or want it. Today, it is the best time to take control of your desired outcome, whether it is a marriage, significant other, life partner, or just to gain the confidence in dating once again. Every other week, we will dive in and talk about different viewpoints that seem to be challenges in today's dating arena.

So let's get into today's episode. Welcome. This is Chad Raynor with Technical Fitness on episode six of the Down and Dirty podcast. Thank you so much for being here today. I'm so excited. Thank you for having me. I'm excited as well. Yes. Let me just tell everybody a little bit about your background, your fitness background, and hopefully some of them will understand. And if not, you'll explain. Okay. So Chad works for himself. His business is called Technical Fitness. He works with one-on-one and group settings, but he also teaches certifications for multiple fitness organizations

as well. NASM, CPT, CES, PES, BCS. He also teaches stick mobility. He's a master instructor, strong first. He's a SFG level two instructor and FRC slash FRC MS. Okay. Okay. Yeah. That's a lot of acronyms there, right? A lot of acronyms, a lot of acronyms. Um, so amazing. I just want to tell everybody a little bit, uh, about I've known you for seven years. I've been training with you for six, right? Uh, it just flies on by. It totally does. I'm like, Oh, I'm really old. We're all getting older, either getting older or, you know, the other alternative, which nobody really wants, but don't say that, but at least we're aging well, right? we're trying we're doing our best we are trying um so i met you through your ex-wife back when

we were both living in the new york city area um and i just i literally remember distinctively how she we were just randomly talking one day and i don't know maybe we were talking about trainers but she's like my husband is the best trainer ever i swear she's like you got to have a call with him. Just talk, just talk to him on the phone. One day we talked on the phone and the rest is history. I was like, yep. I guess. Um, yeah. Um, so much that now you train my daughter, Maddie, and you've been for a couple of years and that's it. You're stuck with us. So, you know, we're, we're a family now. Exactly. We totally are. Uh, now you live in sunny Los Angeles. Yeah, I know. So jelly. I used to live there at one time. So I understand. I understand the love

of Los Angeles. For sure. You are remarried to beautiful and perfect. Amazing. The most perfect wife for you. I can't even for sure. There's like 100%. She's the most perfect woman for me. It's I don't know who I have to thank, but I have to thank somebody. And it's amazing. And I couldn't be happier for sure. Like we're two peas in a pod. It's so cool to see a success story. So I can't wait for you to talk a little bit about that. But I'm so happy you're here. And if you could just, I guess we'll start off. I just have some questions on like, what got you into fitness and health? So originally when I went to college, I went to college for journalism. And so, you know, I love sports and I love athletics. And so my original goal was to be a broadcaster.

And so when I finished school, I came back home and I ended up working. I love working out. So I ended up getting a job at a front desk at a goals gym in my hometown at the time. And so I was I was going through that. And so part of the reason why I did that is like, OK, I love working. I love working out. I wanted to be able to essentially work out for free. yeah uh and so as i'm going through this process of like okay i want to get into broadcasting like what what are my avenues and so i had a couple of uh friends of mine that had you know gone on the same path and what happened was they ended up getting stuck in places that they didn't necessarily want to be in uh so one of my buddies you know he became uh basically like a radio dj uh in the

middle of the country, which is fine. It's just not where he wanted to be. Uh, and so another one of my buddies ended up getting, you know, he's a weatherman in the South. Uh, and so it's not necessarily where he wanted to be as well. You know, he's happy there, but again, a lot of times when you're, uh, somebody like myself and, you know, people that we associate with, we're very aspirational people, right? So, uh, you envision yourself in like major markets, New York, LA kind You know, even other cities, Boston, Dallas, you know, Houston, whatever the case may be, Chicago. And so I got to a point where I was like, maybe I don't want to do this because I don't, you know, no beef with Alaska, but I don't want to be stuck as a sports anchor in Alaska. So the training manager at the gym at the time was like, you know, maybe you should, you know, look into getting certified as a personal trainer.

And so I did. And essentially, you know, so I became certified in 2003, but I really started training more seriously in 2004. And so I've been training ever since. And so I love it. I'm very fortunate to be in a position to do something that can make, you know, a good amount of money and that I truly love and enjoy. it. So I get to help people. I get to improve people's lives, whether it's, you know, from a mental standpoint, you know, more confidence or, you know, from a physical standpoint as well. It's like, you know, you know, we both have kids like being able to play with your kids or, you know, take care of other people, you know, it's not going to be an issue for myself or yourself. Right. Well, I, I'm so happy that you're in the field that you are, because I think you, you just go beyond what a typical trainer i would say maybe when people think of that they just like you teach at such a different level you teach about mobility flexibility and strength all in

one exercise and i've never seen that before so i'm just super happy that at least you're training me anyway right whatever anybody else wants to do that's on them exactly exactly exactly Exactly. So, you know, that, you know, a lot of clients come to me because they lack confidence as well. So through their image, we create confidence and that that's on many different levels, not just what they're, they're dressed, but nonverbal, verbal communication, so on and so forth in coaching. But, but as a trainer, I mean, you have to have the same kind of client come to you where they are probably lacking confidence? I mean, maybe it's like, what would you say that most of your clients, why would they come to you? Well, again, the majority of my

clients, whether it's people I've been seeing for a handful of years like yourself, or even new people, there is some sort of like... And again, not having confidence is not necessarily a bad thing, right? It's one of those things where you don't know what you don't know. And so they come to a trainer, you know, essentially to learn something new. So again, it's not confidence as far as like, okay, maybe I'm too shy or maybe I just, I just don't, it's more like, I don't know what I want to, what I'm doing, but I want to learn. Right. And so, you know, at the end of the day, a trainer is a teacher and a coach. But again, part of what we do is we help build your confidence, whether it's aesthetically like, okay, I've lost 10, 15,

20 pounds. I look and feel better. You know, I'm getting more attention from the people that I want to get attention from. Or, you know, again, my wife is currently pregnant now. And so for other people who, you know, can't move that well, and it's like, okay, you have to like run around and chase an infant and hold an infant. So I'm going to be doing that again. And so, you know, having the confidence that, you know, I can get down on the floor and play with my child and I can hold my child for however long I need to, because they're upset. I have the strength to be able to do that. So, uh, it's, it's two pronged as far as whether it's aesthetics or, you know, just from the physical side of it. But at the end of the day, you know, when you work in fitness,

you are working on helping improving people's client or their confidence or, you know, their everyday life. So whatever that is for them, that's why I'm here for them. Right. Right. And you're really good at helping people work around injuries. I've had a few and I still, you're like, we can, we can handle this. We can train around this. So I think it's, you do so many things and I'm just, yeah. Awesome. Awesome. Thank you. Do you think that training in some capacity only benefits the physical, or do you think there is a mental component? I think you mentioned that a little bit that there, there is that component as well. Yeah, for sure. There's definitely a mental component to it. Um, you know, because so again, there, there, when you're, when you're

working out again, think about the term working out, I'm working, you know, so like, and working out in general is not something that a lot of people are necessarily into, especially later on in life, maybe, you know, middle school, high school, you're an athlete or whatever. But as we get older and, you know, get into the workforce and start having, you know, families and stuff like that, uh, working out generally gets put to the, you know, the backside for a lot of people. Uh, and so being able to accomplish something, uh, I mean, like, again, I know your family, your, your, your, your father and your brothers, their workout machines as well. You know, just that, that feeling of, you know, I accomplished an Ironman, I accomplished a marathon

or, you know, I did my first pushup. I did my first pull up, you know, that's, that's very empowering for a lot of different people. Uh, and say it again, it doesn't matter what your goals are, there are different variations to empower that person and build up their confidence through fitness. Uh, and so confidence is definitely at the forefront of this industry, uh, as far as building it, acquiring it and maintaining it. Yeah, definitely. You make super good points about that. Um, I definitely, I know that I think maybe you've talked about this at some point, but it's definitely a mood enhancer. It is for me. So yeah, for sure. There's, there's, uh, there's definitely a lot of science behind that, that your, your listeners may not want to listen

to at this time, maybe at a different time, but yeah, there, there is plenty of science to prove that it definitely helps improve that mood within that day that you're working out. And then if it's, if it's something that becomes a consistent thing in your life, you know, then that kind of carries over to your everyday life where again, you're generally, you know, you're sleeping better. So part of that is also increasing your mood as well. It's not just like while you're working out. It's like, okay, when I'm finished, like, wow, I accomplished this and I feel great. It's also, again, I'm sleeping better. So when I'm sleeping better, I wake up more refreshed and I feel more productive the next day. And so just having that as a lifestyle really can change

your life. I think you had the key word there, lifestyle. This is a lifestyle. It's definitely a lifestyle. Yeah. You can't go work out and like three days a week and then hit the bars every weekend and eat cheese. No, there's a, there's a, there's a saying in fitness that, uh, you can't out train a bad diet. And so, um, it's much easier to put in the calories than to take them off. And so a lot of people, uh, need to think about that when they're making their choices. And again, with, I mean, you know, me, it's, I, people can do whatever they want. You're, we're all adults. Uh, you want to moderate, you know, certain activities, but again, it's, it's, you want to move as well you can't just eat and drink or whatever and also again if you enjoy going out and

doing things do that nobody again most trainers should not tell you like oh you can never have pizza you can never have ice cream you can never have wine or whatever the case may be it's just moderation that's all it is and so a lot of people have a hard time with moderating and that's where you know we come in as well it's just kind of like you know showing a path of yes you can do this but you also have to do this on top of it as well. It's in order to maintain, you know, whether it's performance or aesthetics. True. Very, very true. Um, so would you say that if a person were to eat well, take care of themselves, I mean, what would that say to say they want to attract somebody into their lives? Yeah. I mean, what would you say about that?

Yeah, I think, I think it's, it's an important aspect. Um, we've talked about this before. there's a one of my favorite quotes is from uh deon sanders uh old football player hall of fame football player uh he says he goes if you look good you feel good if you feel good you play good and if you play good they pay good so you know um so it all kind of like you know falls into place you know when you're when you're taking care of yourself you're going to feel good you know from a standpoint of like, okay, I am more confident to go buy again, going into what your world is. You know, I'm more confident in buying this suit or buying this dress and looking like this and going to this event. And because I know I've put in the work to look and feel a

certain way and I've earned this. Um, so there is something to be said about, you know, the mental aspect of it and also showing others like that you, that you care about yourself. Right. Yeah. So if you're, it doesn't mean that you don't care about yourself if you're not in the shape that you want to be in, but if you're putting in that work, that time, that effort, that blood, sweat, and tears, like it shows other people that, you know, not only, you know, I'm able to, you know, care for myself, but again, if I'm, if I care for myself, then it makes, in my opinion, it makes it easier for people to be like, okay, they can, if they actually care about themselves, then they can actually care about me and take care

of me as well. And so, again, my wife works in fitness. That's part of why our dynamic works is because we understand how important it is to look and feel a certain way. And so that really helps the dynamic of our relationship from a mental standpoint and from a physical standpoint. You know, you know, you know, we've been together for a handful of years, but I've still, you know, I'm just as attracted to my wife as I was the first day I met her because, you know, she, she's a monster. She puts in that work. She's hot. For real. Let's be real. Yeah.

But you're right. You're right. Yeah. That's amazing. I'm so happy. Yeah, because I feel that, like you definitely said what I was going to say, the respect, when we respect ourselves, it shows that we can respect another person into that relationship or whatever that we're looking for. So the fact that you both have that is awesome. I mean, I think that that was maybe something that you knew you always wanted in a partner.

For sure. For sure. Yeah. Sorry if I'm kind of sweaty. I look like I might be kind of sweaty because I just finished working out not too long ago and my body's still, uh, you're still adjusting, still burning. Yes. You do burn major calories. Lucky. Um, so on that note, you know, talking about your perfect wife now, but what was it like when you, so I know you were married for about six years and in the, in that you had a son

and you got divorced obviously but what was it like um when you did begin to date or what was that journey for you when you had a son like what was that what did that look like uh so yeah so post post divorce it was very uh like reflective stage for me personally um uh i feel like at least for me i don't know i can't speak for others but when you when you go through you know a divorce like that um at least in my opinion there should be some self introspection because when you when you're when you go through like a failed relationship and again it's not like it's on a different level than dating it is what it is it's not like a shot at people who aren't married or have never been married it's just a different level of

commitment um and so going through that like i i wanted to go through you know the stuff that I personally did not like that my previous wife was doing, but I also had to look at what I did to contribute to the failure of our relationship. Um, and so, you know, going through that process, you know, I, I took a few months of just not like dating at all. You know, it could have been easy. I had opportunities to kind of get out there and date right away. Um, but I just, I wanted to make sure that, um, if I did get back into another serious relationship, that it was going to be the right one for me and for my son. Right. Because, you know, as you know, as a, as a mother, um, our children to us, hopefully the others are the most important people in the world to us.

Right. And so I'd, I'd rather, you know, again, I don't want to be treated like badly or poorly, But again, more importantly is how you treat my son, um, and how you, and so when I first started kind of dating is, you know, some people were kind of into it and some people weren't, um, which again, it's, it's one of those things. It's one of those processes where like, you know, and then there's nothing wrong with that. I don't begrudge anybody who I went on a date with who necessarily wasn't like, um, I'm not into being step-mom, uh, cause that's a big responsibility.

Um, for sure. But at the same time, I'm also, you know, wasn't looking to commit to somebody who wasn't ready to be that kind of caliber person in my son's life. Right. Uh, and so that's where, you know, my current wife, Morgan separated herself, uh, immediately from others, you know, outside of other aspects that, you know, we, you know, helped us, you know, mesh as a couple. Um, first and foremost was the love that she showed for my son immediately and continues to to this day actually right before they were you know right before we started they were playing video games together online i love it i love it yeah and so like i i love the fact that he feels you know comfortable you know reaching out to her exclusively like hey you want to do this and so

that's that's something that was very important to me um and so yeah yeah yeah there's just a it's a very different factor when you're dating when you're young and there wasn't that that child i mean the whole dating world changes at that point yeah just like for myself yeah that's uh bringing in someone into your home when you have a child is like oof okay we got to make sure things are are yeah it's basically kosher yeah it's a huge responsibility because they're also are going to help shape who that person is going to be right right right uh and also seeing them seeing your relationship is also going to formulate um you know not necessarily 100 but it's going to play a factor in how they have relationships later in life yes so i wanted to make sure that my son

saw an example of you know a healthy relationship uh with a woman so he doesn't grow up to be like some of the more prominent men in today's world. I'm so glad that you are, that's important to you, you know, cause I think some people I maybe it's because they're married forever and that that doesn't ever cross their mind. And it takes a divorce with a child to actually, Oh no, I want to make sure that whoever's in my son's life, my child's life, that they are a good role model.

For sure. For sure. That's definitely not something I would have probably thought about, you know, in my early to mid twenties, but now in my forties, it is something that is very important to me. You just turned 40. I'm still in my forties, regardless if I just turned 40. True, true, true. 40 is forties, Celeste. 40 is 40. Well, I'm so happy and I can't wait for you guys to have your little baby. I know, I know. Because Auntie Celeste is going to come and give snuggles right right in november it'll be perfect i mean i guess we both live in warm weather states now so it's not as much of a like oh i have to get out of the new york area to you know right

it's a little different now we both we both live in warm weather year round so yep yep we have the last laugh we can go to visit very shortly all right um okay so i always ask this um my last question with my, the guests that I have on my show, uh, cause I like to get to know you a little bit more and I'm sure my audience does as well. If you could choose to be anywhere in the world, the universe, a particular moment in time, where would it be and why? Well, as you know, I'm a big family person and I'm a big, big LA person. I am a Los Angeles homer uh so you know i've i haven't i'm not as traveled as you as far as in the world i i have left the country and i've been all over this country you know i've been at least over 30 states

um so i feel like i have a pretty good sample size of of america and what i like what i don't like uh and so the most important thing for me is to be with my family so regardless of where we are so whether we're at home here in los angeles um or you know we're traveling you know we're you know we're trying to get trips set up for the summer and you know get some outdoorsy trips going but uh i personally really love where where we are uh in santa monica specifically los angeles so you know we live about a mile away from the beach about a 15 minute drive away from the mountains uh and so we're very outdoorsy people and so having that kind of access to you know nice weather and nature is uh super important to me and in my family so being with my family

in los angeles would be the the number one spot but again we do like to travel and we you know we're about wherever we can be together so well it's with your family and mostly los angeles i love it mostly los angeles i travel a little bit to teaching as well so i get to see other places and so it's fun well all your favorite sports teams as well big sport i'm a big sport guy you know, big, big win last night. Your, uh, your pseudo brother, your pseudo brother, Trevor Moore scored a big goal for the LA Kings last night. So I always think about, I always think about the Moore family when Trevor, when Trevor scores. And so, yeah, it's amazing. I love it. So where can people find you if they want to look you up, see what you're about? Uh, yeah. So you can find

me on Instagram, uh, at technical fitness. So it's spelled exactly how it sounds. Awesome. And so if not, you can look up, I think I have another account, Chad Raynor, but I don't use that one. I just use it just in case I actually wanted to use my real name at some point in my life. But yeah, Chad Raynor slash technical fitness is where you can find me on Instagram with like actual informative stuff. I love it because people can check out how amazing you are and any information. And I, again, appreciate you being on today's call. Well, thank you so much. All right. Well, I will see you tomorrow and have a good night. Thank you.

Yes, you too. All right. Bye. Thanks for tuning in to today's episode. come and hang out with me on Instagram at Celeste Moore image. Let me know your thoughts on today's episode, because I always love hearing from you all. You can find all the links and resources in the show notes of the episode on my website, Celeste Moore.com. Okay. That's all for now. I'll see you in the next episode. See you next time, friends.

Thank you.