Moore Style - Dating After Divorce as a Professional with Dr. Julie Siemers

Episode Date: April 1, 2022

I’m so excited to share this conversation with my first guest, my mother, Dr. Julie Siemers. She has more than 40 years of experience in nursing practice, education, and leadership in a wide variety of roles in critical care. Dr. Siemers has earned a masters of science in nursing and a doctorate of nursing practices.    This episode, we talk about: [2:27] How her experience as a teen mom impacted her life [5:19] Dating again at age 32 after being married for fourteen years [8:33] Dr. Siemers’s biggest challenges in dating [11:33] Changes in dating across the lifespan [13:11] What she hopes Celeste Moore Image can do for men looking to find their perfect partner [14:37] Where Dr. Siemers would be if she could choose anywhere in the world Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode! Come and hang out with me on Instagram @celestemooreimage and let me know your thoughts on today’s episode, because I always love hearing from you all!

Hi, everyone. I'm your host, Celeste Moore, and you are listening to the Down and Dirty Podcast, aka the Double D's of dating. This is a podcast for navigating the ins and outs of modern midlife dating. Here, we will discuss the challenges that men and women face in today's dating world. Like many industries, this one is forever changing, and I believe this platform will help those who need or want it. Today, it is the best time to take control of your desired outcome, whether it is a marriage, significant other, life partner, or just to gain the confidence in dating once again. Every other week, we will dive in and talk about different viewpoints that seem to be challenges in today's dating arena.

So let's get into today's episode. Today's guest we have, I'm so delighted to have my mother, Dr. Julie Seamers. A little bit about Julie is that she has more than 40 years of experience in nursing practice, education and leadership in a wide variety of roles in critical care, trauma resuscitation department at the University of Medical Center, and chief flight nurse and regional program director for Mercy Air Services in Las Vegas. In the field of nursing education, Dr. Seamers has been a great influence in nursing education, serving as professor of nursing, program director of the Bachelor of Science in Nursing at Toro University, Dean of Academic Affairs and Campus

President in Arlington, Virginia. She has earned a Master's of Science in Nursing and a Doctor of Nursing Practices degrees from Toro University. Wow. Look at you. That is an amazing educational accomplishment. I know you're my mother, but still looking and looking over that in writing, just it's still all I can say as well. Well, thank you. You have always been such an inspiration in my life, not only from being a teen mom, whom I am the product and to see everything that you've accomplished is incredible. So a little bit about you, I want to show and tell my audience is that you were a teen mom at 15. You decided that you didn't want to be like every other teen mom and that you wanted to graduate high school early. And you started your nursing career

right after that. So tell me a little bit about how do you think being a teen mom impacted your life? Wow. Yes. Quite significantly, significantly. Of course. I was very blessed and fortunate to have very supportive and loving parents once they got over the shock. But yes, I was bound and determined not to be a statistic, meaning that when I was pregnant and went to a social services program for teen moms, there was a lot of pressure to give up the baby for adoption. and I just couldn't do it. I knew in my heart, I couldn't do it. And there was something inside of me that was born when they said, you're going to be a failure that I basically said, fuck you. I am not going to be a failure and I'm going to succeed far beyond your, what you've ever

seen before. So that was kind of my impetus to study hard and to get through nursing school with a three-year-old, you running around, I'll never forget. And you're like, mommy, I'm, I'm studying. You were mimicking me. So yeah, it's, uh, kind of that fire of ambition has continued, even though that was 40 plus years ago, it, it, uh, that ambition still continues. Um, and part of it is, I just want to be better than I was last year or the year before. I just want to continually grow. That's amazing. That's such an inspirational story for people that didn't know that about you, but the people that do know you do know that you're ambitious and driven constantly. The next big thing or the next goal or the next part of your life that is

either undiscovered or unfulfilled. And you just have this beautiful outlook in life that there's you can't ever get enough. Like you can't learn enough. You can't know enough. And you constantly work on that. And that's something that has dripped over into my life in many ways. And you are truly just a super woman. And I always say this about you. It's just, if there's anyone in my life that has inspired me to be successful, to be driven, to not settle, and that's you. Well, thank you. You weren't only just a teen mom, but at the age of 32, you had five children and you were a divorcee. So tell me what was your experience like at 32 when you just started to begin dating when you had been married since you were 18? Yeah. So I mean, finishing that story

just a little bit, I married your father. So we had four more children together and spent 14 years together. And yes, getting, having you at 15 and getting married at 18, there wasn't any dating that occurred. And I really believe I missed a really significant part of my psychological development with getting to know who I was, which is what we do in relationship. We do that in dating. And so that was kind of a, a place I found myself at 32, not really knowing who I was outside of being a nurse and outside of being a mother. And so, yeah, it was a very different world to, for me to start dating a little bit. And then of course, you know, you add five kids into that equation and made it challenging because there's not a whole lot of men that would

say, you know, yeah, I'd be willing to date you and take on your kids. And I wasn't looking for somebody to take on my kids, but I'm a package deal. So yeah, it was a little tricky. Yeah, I can only imagine me being a single mother of one child, let alone five, and how daunting that could be as a man dating you, not understanding where his place might be. And you, like you said, not really knowing what you wanted at that point in your life either. I mean, you just wanted to date. So I don't think you were looking for, or maybe you were, I don't know, but I don't think that you were looking for definitely marriage at the time. no you wanted to know what it was like to date to go out to be desired and wanted and not be a mother all the time I'm sure yeah that was about the time too that I bought that little red Miata that little convertible and I look back on that and I even said at the time it was kind of my anti-mommy statement meaning hey the kids were all in school and I had a day off of work and I getting my little convertible and yeah, it was amazing. It was amazing feeling of

claiming or getting to know who I was, like you said. So yeah, I was just looking to have some fun. Yeah. Dating can be fun, but dating can have challenges too. I mean, as you've seen over the years, not just after being divorced and not understanding what dating looks like, but even in today where you have dated on and off for some time and had so many experiences and, but a lot of it is you have grown so much. And so you have changed in what you want for a partner. Yes. What do you think has been your biggest challenges in dating so far? Well, I haven't been in a relationship in about eight years. Um, and I've dated on and off. Um, during that time, I finished my doctoral degree during that time. Um, and I've had several promotions in my career.

Um, but the challenges of the dating part of it is like you said earlier, I'm always trying to be better than I was, whether it's, you know, maintaining my physical health, you know, whether it's learning something new. Um, my philosophy is you're either growing or you're dying and I want to be growing. There's so much to explore in this world and I want to be healthy to do that. Um, but I also am at the point where I want to share that with somebody. So the challenges that I've faced mostly in the last couple of years, when I'm really serious about wanting a life partner is finding somebody that is on the same level, so to speak. I'm trying to figure out how to say that a little bit better. It doesn't have to be the same. I don't want the

same. That's boring. But I want somebody who has that joy for life. I want somebody who's trying to be better. I want somebody who's done their work on themselves to find out, gosh, did I contribute to that relationship that just didn't make it, that failed, that wasn't successful? And it doesn't matter if it's 1% or 99%, we all have responsibility in a relationship that didn't work or that does work. So I want somebody to have done enough introspection to say, gosh, I just wasn't a very good communicator or whatever, and then work on it. I don't believe two people can come together and be healthy if they're not healthy on their own. Two emotional cripples don't make a whole, as I heard someone say.

that is so true too wrong so make a right you know that's another one but yeah i i completely understand and know that like i said you have grown so much and you want somebody who has done the same work or maybe not the same work but has come to a point in their life where their emotional intelligence matches yours, their desires, their kind of that, you know, simpatico-ness about each other where you don't have to have the exact same interest, but you do have to have some interests that attract each other and you can do together. And I think, I think that's really important, especially, I mean, I I'm, I'm sure that your dating life at 32 to 61 has been very different. Yes, for sure. I want different things than I did that many years ago. I want different

things than I did five years ago. I'm just more clear on what it is I do want. I've had enough contrast to say, okay, I prefer something different than that. And yeah, does that shrink the pool of available partners? Yes, absolutely. But that's okay. I would much rather be alone than with someone that's not a good fit either for me or for him. So I guess that's why I'm pretty selective, but I'm okay with that. I want somebody that I'm going to be with to be selective too. I want them to say, wow, you've got, you know, some awesome qualities and he's got awesome qualities and together we have a hell of a lot of fun together. Definitely. That's what it's about, right? Yeah. For the most part. Yeah. Well, that's amazing.

And I think we've just touched on the very, very tip of you and who you are and what you have to offer the down and dirty podcast. I think our listeners are going to want to hear more about you and hear about your experiences and kind of, you're going to be like the mom of the head down and dirty podcast. Um, what do you hope that Celeste Moore image can do for men looking to find their perfect partner? Oh, I am just so thrilled that you are doing what you were doing. And I'm not just saying this because I'm your mom either, but your talent is amazing. Even before you got certified and had all this experience, you just had an eye for it. So what I would love is for more men to tune in and really get the tips that you're sharing that can

really make the difference of don't meet your date with crew socks and tennis shoes and your docker shorts, you know, that are hanging off your body or whatever, you know, take some time and really think about, put your best self forward. If you don't know what that best self is, then get some help from Celeste because her tips are amazing. So, you know, you've got to present the type of person that you want to be with, the type of person that you want to attract. And so be what you want, be the, be the quality of partner that you want to attract. So I think you've got some, uh, are ready some tips that you've shared. They're like very helpful, you know? Well, thank you for that. And hopefully we can get these men ready for these beautiful,

successful, amazing women that are out there looking for love. Yes. Agreed. Last question, because I like to get to know a little bit more about my guests and my audience does as well. If you could choose to be anywhere in the world, the universe, a moment in time, where would it be and why? Well, the beach has always been my happy place. I would love that beach to include my family because it has on many occasions when we've gone on vacations together. Um, but just, there's something so soothing to my soul to hear the waves come in and just sit there and contemplate life on that beach. So to have my loved ones and to be in that place where my heart sings and my soul is happy. Yeah. That brings a smile to my face.

Well, I'm wishing you were there right now and hopefully we'll be soon. Thank you. And thank you for having me as a guest. Thank you so much for being on my podcast. And I can't wait to have you talk about something else. All righty. Thank you, Dr. Seamers. Ciao, baby. Bye. All right. Bye-bye. Thanks for tuning in to today's episode. Come and hang out with me on Instagram at Celeste Moore image. Let me know your thoughts on today's episode, because I always love hearing from you all. You can find all the links and resources in the show notes of the episode on

my website, Celeste Moore.com. Okay. That's all for now. I'll see you in the next episode. See you next time, friends.