Moore Style - Defining Your Dating Desires in 2023

Episode Date: January 9, 2023

This year, the Down and Dirty Podcast will go from bi-weekly to weekly episodes for even MORE juicy and exciting dating advice in 2023. In this episode, I share my New Year's intentions while also sharing some important questions to ask yourself to get you just a little bit closer to your desires. Remember you don’t have to do this alone and it’s okay to ask for guidance. [1:42] 2023 Podcast Updates  [2:57] What this podcast is about and who it is for [5:43] Deciding on your dating goals this year  [8:47] My 2023 Intentions and Goals  [13:25] Questions to ask yourself when jumping back into dating  [15:51] How to love yourself again 

Hi, everyone. I'm your host, Celeste Moore, and you are listening to the Down and Dirty podcast, aka the Double D's of dating. This is a podcast for navigating the ins and outs of modern midlife dating. Here, we will discuss the challenges that men and women face in today's dating world. Like many industries, this one is forever changing, and I believe this platform will help those who need or want it. Today, it is the best time to take control of your desired outcome, whether it is a marriage, significant other, life partner, or just to gain the confidence in dating once again. Every other week, we will dive in and talk about different viewpoints that seem to be challenges in today's dating arena. So let's get into today's episode.

Hello and welcome everyone to today's podcast, number 24. Happy New Year. Welcome everybody to 2023. I cannot even believe I'm saying 2023 because this marks my 20-year college graduation this year. That's just insane to me. Oh man, I am growing up so fast. I'm super excited to announce that I will be recording weekly episodes instead of every other week. after much deliberation myself and my team we've decided that the down and dirty podcast is growing faster than expected so that is amazing and exciting news because many of you may or may not know but podcasting is a whole new learning curve for me I have never done it before other than this year, excuse me, 2022. I jumped into this and I've really just taken to love this

platform. I have also decided that once a month, I'm going to be answering your questions about all of your dating needs and concerns. There will be a form that you can submit to and leave me your name, or you can be anonymous. And I think this will add another layer of help for all those who are wanting and are looking for their questions to be answered about dating. So start getting those questions ready together. Start thinking of things you want to ask me. And once a month, I will be using this type of platform. And let's start making your 2023 dating goals happen. Really wanted to create the Down and Dirty podcast with this platform so that my guests and I can educate you on all of the many facets of the modern dating world. Just so you may be aware, the audience here is men and women, but I do focus on the ages of about 35 and up.

And I say this not to exclude anyone, but basically who will benefit the most listening to these episodes. So we dive into lasting erections, how to please your woman, what to eat so that your sex drive is on point, how to deal with loss after being married, when to move on to the next relationship after divorce, healthy relationships, how to flirt, first date tips, how to deal with your partner's family and friends, what to wear on that first date. What does body language say or do? And how do I send a message without speaking? Grooming, what's important, what's not important? And the list will grow and goes on. As you can see, I cover quite a unique perspective. This becomes, since I am a certified matchmaker,

a certified image consultant, and now a certified dating coach, this platform is for you. so today we are busier and busier more than ever and i feel like i say this every year every day but it is just the speed that the world is moving at and it will continue to move faster and get busier just think of our cell phones 5g 6g it's just televisions are 4k now 8k so it's just The way of the world, the faster the information, people's attention spans are shorter and shorter. And I say this because no matter how busy we get, it is paramount for you to take control

of how you choose to schedule the time in your life to date, whether you're single or married. It's very important to schedule that and make time for it because it matters if you want to have a healthy and lasting relationship. Remember, she, whoever, Ms. Wright, Mrs. Wright, will not appear one day just because you have asked the universe or prayed to your God,

but you need to actively put in the time to find Ms. Wright, Mrs. Wright for you. I wanna say the first step is to get introspective with yourself. This can mean a lot of things about coming to terms with who you are, what you are, what you want, what you like, and really kind of looking at past relationships, what it is that actively you did on your part to make sure that, you know, that it didn't go well. So this can also mean writing a list of all your

wants and desires. This should also include deal breakers. Okay. Don't forget about that because it's really important. You might really like someone, she might be banging, smoking hot, and she fills 60 or 70% of your list, but she's got like a deal breaker. And let me tell you, this is going to come up over and over again, because it matters to you and it's your deal breaker. So don't settle. Also, you should be asking the questions about where you are in terms of meeting someone, right? Are you looking for someone to marry? Or are you just at the point where you just want to learn how to date again because it has been way too long and it's a whole new game of dating now? There is no right or wrong here, but it is important that you are honest with

yourself. It would be really shitty to waste your time and hers. So just think about that. Get clear with yourself. It's important to also reflect back in 2022 and look at all the growth you have done and be proud of that. When it is a new year, we can often say, oh, I'm going to go, I'm going to work out more. I'm going to lose that 10 pounds I put on. I will start eating healthier and I will do XYZ better, but we fail to see what we have accomplished in the last year. And that matters to see where we have come so that we can be proud. I believe not only New Year's is the time that we should be looking to better ourselves. I feel that we should always have goals in our professional and our personal lives. I get New Year's as a good reason to reset, but making

goals should be daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, five-year plan, even a 10-year plan. But if all that sounds too daunting, then please just do what you want so that you are successful in having tangible and achievable goals. I find that when I do this for myself, that I set myself up for success. So find a system that works for you to set you up for success. I am asking myself, what do I want to achieve in 2023? And what are my new year's resolutions? They used to be, oh, I want to lose those five pounds. I need to eat clean, cut back sugar, and all of that. Well, all of those are really important. Believe me when I tell you that my overall health matters more. And that includes the physical, but as well as the mental and spiritual.

And having an overall health and wellness will allow me to accomplish, you know, it all. Why not? now I have always had a problem for this but it will take balance this has literally been one of the hardest things for me to achieve I'm a single mother I'm gonna do a new dog mommy I own a business I'm a homeowner I travel and I'm getting back into the daily world myself so life is quite a busy one, but it is important to me that I am true to myself. I have always pleased as, excuse me, I've always pleased others before myself, what you would call a people pleaser. And this is just something, I don't know if it was how it was raised or what I, who I am naturally, or maybe a combination of two. But at the end of the day, this has created problems because

at the end of the day, I have given myself more to everyone, but to myself. So then I am left empty, drained. And I mean, this does not help anyone. So I have discovered that I need to set boundaries with my family and friends so that I'm able to achieve success and be happy. so I am letting go of being in control of everything yeah I am what you would call a perfectionist and I believe that I'll just tell someone to do it I might as well do it because I do it better that's just that doesn't help me it doesn't help me grow and it doesn't allow other people in my life to be responsible so I let's be honest like we cannot control everything anyway. So I'm choosing to let go more. I'm deciding to choose me more often,

and I'm going to be saying no more. I'm also going to be acting and doing what all seven and eight figure people do. That is get up early, like more like 5 a.m., journaling and meditate, exercise on a regular basis, which I do now, but just take it up a notch. Even ask my daughter to have more responsibilities so that she can grow and become more of who she is supposed to be. Another really difficult thing for me to do is allow to trust more, express my feelings more, and not shut down because that doesn't, it's not good for me and it's not good for the other person and make more time for me personally, allow myself to grow, make mistakes, love more and harder. These are some of the things that I'm really going to be focused on,

not just this year, but continuing in my life because it is a lifestyle. But I would like to say, let's raise your glass and your standards this year. So don't settle for things that don't align with your goals and stop with the cycle of unhappiness or crazy just because it's comfortable. How can we grow as people? If we are not pushing ourselves in another direction, usually I love to say this as David Goggins says, get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Yes, it is uncomfortable to do things that you're not used to, but growth will not happen in any other way. I promise you, you're not going to grow. You're not, you don't stay stagnant either. You're dying. If you're not growing, you're dying.

Sure. It's easy to say I'm tired after a full day of work, after I cook dinner and the kids are in bed or after I work out, yada, yada excuse, right? I have said these things for so many years. And honestly, I am done. I'm tired of hearing them. And I feel like if it's really important to me, I'll make it happen. It's okay to make mistakes. And it's okay to start over again and again until the trajectory is right for you. That's totally great that I really believe that's how we learn. Dating can also feel daunting, especially if you've not gone on any dates in a while, right? Just know that the only way for you to feel okay about something is to try and explore that. You can't just tell somebody, oh, I'm going to start this and never try.

So start out with something that is comfortable for you. I know I said get uncomfortable, but let's take baby steps if we need to. Maybe you go on a group date. Maybe it's a meetup date, Like where there's like-minded individuals and you're doing an activity and you just get used to talking to strangers. Because let's be honest, after 2020, a lot of people have become more introverted and it's harder and harder to speak to someone in real life. Maybe it's just less formal, but have fun and enjoy the moment and experience rather than worrying if she is the perfect person for you.

Check in with yourself and ask the questions. am I ready to be open to new possibilities? Am I ready to explore? Am I confident in who I am? Am I sure who it is that I want to meet and date? If any of these questions are coming back and you're saying no, right? Then maybe it's time and it's necessary to hire a dating and image consultant like myself. Or maybe it's a therapist or a psychiatrist to deal with past traumas or things that have created habits that you don't want to go into the next relationship.

And it's okay to ask for guidance. I absolutely love that I get to help men make better choices and educate them on what to wear, how to present themselves in the world how to be confident in the modern dating arena how to date better I love what I do and I trust me you will know if somebody loves what they do by having a quick consult with them I hope that hearing what I'm going to be doing will allow yourself to have more grace in your error. You will love yourself more by doing the things that you want. Surround yourself with the people you choose to be with and know that you are worthy

of all your dreams and aspiration. It's okay to be selfish and the more confident you are with yourself, you will attract like-minded people. Never give up because this is your life and no one else's. You are the puppeteer or the master behind your life. Do not apologize for the things that makes you who you are. Go into 2023 with this mindset. Go on those dates that make you have butterflies. Kiss the person you like. Tell her you love her. Go for that vacation you've always wanted to. Explore new things and possibilities. Own your authenticity. What will you do to make 2023 worth remembering, worth loving, worth living? I really want to hear what you will do. Happy New Year, loves.

thanks for tuning in to today's episode come and hang out with me on instagram at celeste more image let me know your thoughts on today's episode because i always love hearing from you all you can find all the links and resources in the show notes of the episode on my website celestemore.com okay that's all for now i'll see you in the next episode see you next time friends Thank you.