Moore Style - Everything You Need to Know About Emotional Intelligence with Rima Eneva

Episode Date: January 23, 2023

If you’ve ever wondered why you might not click with some of your dates or feel like you aren’t a match, maybe you’re noticing a mismatch of Emotional Intelligence. In this episode, I am chatting with Life Coach Rima Eneva about all about the ins and outs of Emotional Intelligence or EQ. Rima tells us why someone may struggle with their EQ, offers some examples of this in couples and also gives us some tips to move forward. You don’t want to miss this week’s episode!  In this episode, we discuss:  [2:03] Getting to know Rima Enva  [3:38] What causes someone to have low emotional intelligence  [8:17] Why someone may be repeatedly experiencing the same problems in relationships  [10:32] Why is it important to work on your Emotional IQ for a healthy relationship  [13:47] More characteristics of a low Emotional IQ [16:05] How Rima helps people grow their Emotional IQ [20:58] A few key elements of a strong, healthy relationship  [30:23] When sex can become a mask [35:01] How our personality is an adaptation strategy  [39:27] Rima’s favorite date   Connect with Rima:  Instagram  Website

Hi, everyone. I'm your host, Celeste Moore, and you are listening to the Down and Dirty podcast, aka the Double D's of dating. This is a podcast for navigating the ins and outs of modern midlife dating. Here, we will discuss the challenges that men and women face in today's dating world. Like many industries, this one is forever changing, and I believe this platform will help those who need or want it. Today, it is the best time to take control of your desired outcome, whether it is a marriage, significant other, life partner, or just to gain the confidence in dating once again. Every other week, we will dive in and talk about different viewpoints that seem to be challenges in today's dating arena.

So let's get into today's episode. Welcome everybody today to podcast number 26 with today's guest, Rima Enova. She is a life coach and teacher on a mission to help people reconnect with themselves and their truth through emotional intelligence, mindset, and spirituality. Teaching and coaching lights her up like nothing else in the world so that her clients become the tools for self-expression. So that is just a beautiful thing to be able to teach and educate people in this space. um you know i i often wonder for those of us who aren't quite educated or what they don't really know what the definition of emotional intelligence or eq for short um could you explain that

um yeah of course well first of all thanks for having me and hi everyone i'm super excited and um i actually wrote this when i created my instagram um a few days back because i got locked out of the other one um and i was like what is it that i do because i'm like rewriting my vision for my business right now and so emotional intelligence has been a part of my personal journey for a really long time and then i started teaching people and um i always get this question and um well i always flip it and i'm like what do you think it means right like what is it associated with and the obvious answer is always emotions um you know dealing with my emotions and partially um it's about being able to recognize identify respond and communicate

your emotions in the right way and um the piece that i added to it is also being embodied and at being able to understand what your body's communicating to you because body is communicating with us through feelings that then turn into emotions in our mind and then we're like oh i'm anxious or oh i'm happy right so just like learning and recognizing and getting to know yourself better it's just a tool for self-awareness really that's so great because it's like i i know what emotional intelligence is, but I really did before coming on you, before I had you today, I, I did some more background research on it because, you know, I know so much, right? I don't know everything. This is why we're having you as a guest. Um, but I know that a lot of women

complained to me about the lack of EQ in their dates or the low amount or the low levels, if you will. And I don't know if it's a sex thing or if it's, if it's just the way that we're raised or the, the traumas we've gone through. Um, and I'm sure it's a very, like there's multiple variables, but what causes that for what causes someone to have a low IQ? Do you, I mean, I know there's probably so many things it's probably like too broad of a question but what what would some of the things be no it's a good one and um i think you're right i would agree with you that it depends on the culture that we're raised in um again i don't want to generalize but men um are raised to be strong and tough and you know don't be a cry baby or all of that stuff to just

like keep it all inside yeah and then partially I guess it's like the difference between men and women as well in like men kind of being more you know trying to figure it out uh by themselves whereas women can sometimes seek out comfort and like you know talk with other women as well at least that's what I do my friend circle like if I have a problem I'll talk with everyone and um when I was with my ex-boyfriend at the time we were talking about it and he was like well if I have a problem I just deal with it like I don't go around talking with my mates and um so I guess it's that and also when we're little up until like the age of seven I read somewhere else that until the age of 10 um we're just sponges and we're the product of

our environment so we're just like taking everything in and it really like we understand all the things unconsciously but we don't understand why things are the way they are in their family for example and if the parents are passive-aggressive with each other like we don't know why we don't get it but we take that on as a relationship strategy or like as a strategy to get what you want i guess depending on which parent you identify with right yes um so over time if you suppress all of the emotions and you don't really look back in your childhood and you don't analyze the patterns and the beliefs and the values that you have uh you then end up suppressing everything and it becomes like an unfamiliar territory you don't really want to go into it

it's too weird you know and then you grow up you start drinking you start like finding ways to avoid um your traumas and the things that happen to you and so as a result you can't communicate to the other person like in this case a date or a partner what's going on for you because you don't know nobody ever taught you how to identify and understand what's going on and also when once you were an adult you also didn't teach yourself that so I'm all about like at some point when do you take responsibility and you're like oh okay this was never taught but this way of life and functioning isn't working for me and it's damaging my relationships potentially um and then i go and learn about emotional intelligence and what that is yeah because up until then you're just

mirroring your parent your coping skills are the way your parents coped like just for example when my mom and my dad got in a really big argument it was the silent treatment you know nobody would talk in the house. There was no communication. And I don't know what's worse that or, or yelling, but I mean, you know, everybody has, like you said, you're, you're a product of your environment. So I think, I think when you do start having those relationships and you're like, oh, this isn't working, but why isn't it working? And then you start to see patterns. Okay. Maybe this is why. And so let me, let me try to fix this or work on this because yeah nobody says oh this is wrong the way your parents raise you is not

conducive to healthy loving relationship you know you have to find that out on your own unless like you know they come across somebody like you or at a young age and that's the beauty of the internet today but um you know another thing I'd just like to add if I may yes is that um sometimes when we have some patterns we're getting in relationships uh one of the self-protection mechanisms is oh it's the other person like they're like this or they're like that and if you keep meeting the same person and the same thing keeps happening i'm telling you if something happened to you more than twice it's a pattern like it's not a it's not random right it's you it's not the other person you end up like finding and connecting with those type of people um and so the pitfall here is to go

oh it's the other person and not look at the thing because it's just too you know you have to dig too deep it's too painful there's too much and you know like you we always kind of like on the level we want to blame the other person for the problems that we have and just be like oh yeah like the women are like this or like the men are like this it's not me you know I just I'm so like I'm a victim of this and this is happening to me. And so that's one of the pitfalls that could happen when the ego steps in and is like, no, no, no, it's not you. It's them. It's really easy to fall into victim mentality. It's really easy to blame. I think it's harder to look at yourself and be like, oh, is that me? And that's not just in dating relationships. That's like in relationships

with your family with your friends their co-workers um yeah so that's crazy uh i don't know it's that's um i feel like that could be a lifelong journey i don't know i think it is the lifelong journey like i teach people emotional intelligence and i still have times where i'm like oh it's the other person it's not me i'm so good i'm so developed like i teach those things you know and it's like it just it's a never-ending journey like you either do this or you stay the same and you stay in your comfort zone and that's not really a good quality life yeah yeah I agree um so why would you say it's important to work on your eq for a healthy relationship healthy partnership if you will yeah um I I've thought a lot about this topic and I think for

one you can have a good relationship a healthy one if you don't have a good relationship with yourself to begin with so you don't have any EQ and understanding of yourself and command of your emotions you won't be able to have a healthy relationship with another person right yeah and in my view if at least one partner has the eq going for them they will either end up with someone else who's like on the journey and also wants to grow together to have a better relationship or someone who has a low eq but then they get kind of like woken up by that other person who's engaging in the personal development work as well okay so if I don't know what's going on with me and I can't communicate it with you and you don't know what's going on and communicate it with you

we're in trouble and another thing that happens in relationships because they're intimate we end up bringing our patterns from our parents into the relationship and certain coping strategies and here again if you don't have enough eq we're just playing out i'm playing out you know my parents patterns the other person is playing out their parents patterns and it's in a healthy relationship we're not even creating anything of our own we're just repeating the same thing that we've seen before and so to create a relationship that's healthy and long lasting you want to create something of your own you know like as a couple yeah that makes sense emotional intelligence is like a really big piece in that i think well yeah i mean because

the components are well having a low i or i almost said iq having a low eq are some of those very um some of those characteristics are what what would you say like coping skills yeah um actually i just thought of something else partially what eq is for me is also self-awareness so low eq means low self-awareness low self-awareness means you don't see how you create the life that you have the patterns that you have the relationship that you have everything you know everything's happening to you like you don't feel like you have a sense of agency. And so low EQ is just not being, being able to recognize that you play a part in everything in your life and in everything you do, you know, and then like having agency to like change that

and take action. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. So what were, what are some, um, a couple other characteristics of low EQ? I was just talking about this earlier today, actually on my coaching call with my client and it's, yes, it's inability to take responsibility. Okay. Inability to see how you create your life, falling victim to everything, having the same things repeat over and over and over again. And you just kind of like not get that, you know, all of those things have one thing in common and it's you um also having some things that trigger you and you don't know why and you kind of feel like again it's the other person and you know the other person's angry or the other person's like this and you keep attracting those type of people whatever

triggers you and the other person you most likely have within yourself also low eq is judgment like you judge other people, how they are, how they live, you engage in gossip. Um, I mean, there are a million things, but I think it'd be fair to say that like, when you meet someone who has low EQ, you kind of know it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That makes sense. Cause I mean, yeah, you could, he could be great on paper or she could be great on paper. Great picture. Oh, this is a potential Mrs. Right or Mr. Right. And you go on a date and for example, I don't know, his name is James, right? You're on this date and you're at the restaurant and he flies off the handle because the server brings the food a little bit late and it's cold. And so instead of speaking

rationally, instead of like having a calm sense of like, okay, can we just fix this? He's like screaming and yelling and like embarrassing you and like it's very unattractive for one for me i would never go on a date with him again that would be like my deal one of the biggest red flags is how you treat other people and for him this is maybe like the way his father reacted if his something wasn't on time or perfect or or you know like he's paying for this and it should be this this way. How do you, okay. I don't, I mean, that's, that's huge, but how do you teach somebody to say, okay, do you have them look at like how their parents were? What are maybe some of the things that are going on with them? What is the process that say James calls you and he's like,

you know what Celeste got away she was a catch and I really feel that I reacted inappropriately but like I think now I know so I want to call Rima and say can you help me with this what what would you say to him yeah well it really really depends on the person and as I like to joke like everybody gets a different treatment when they work with me but like generally yeah it would be um I have this belief form that I send to people and I'm like take the ones that feel like you because you want to get to know how the person is viewing the world and so in psychology they always talk about like in childhood we learn about ourselves others in the world for like our immediate relationships in the family and so if someone just like flips off the handle

at something that seems so silly like oh the food was cold like just bring me something warm you know that's it um I'd be like what was the trigger there I mean what was the thing for you that like made you fly off the handle and if the person's like I don't know it means okay so the self awareness is probably at zero or one. Um, and they're barely functioning in the world. And so I would take them back. There's a process to that moment and we will pause it. And there's this like whole meditation we go through. And then I asked the person to like, as an outsider, watch that scene and just be like, what is that person feeling? Like, was it, was he offended? Like what was going on for you right right and so from there depending where that is everybody gets a

pretty similar homework which is get in touch with your body what does that mean because like we're all in our head all the time and emotions live in the body so the way this happens is like for example i get triggered by something the thing arises in me i sense the sensations in my body i feel the feelings but if we're disembodied which is you know that's why we have low eq we go to our mind and we conceptualize what just happened so for example if i have a really big ego and a waiter doing this means something about my ego or about me i make this about me and not just a cold plate i immediately gonna go it's like immediate right i'm just gonna go to oh they disrespect me who do they think they are can't they see i'm on a date like i paid all this money

and then i'm just gonna go shout at the waiter right so you kind of like want to take it step by step and like break down what happened why that happened you kind of dig into the childhood a little bit but i never want to spend too much time there like you want to kind of get the main points of like okay what did you learn about yourself and how you react where have you seen this pattern before where have you repeated and then we go into embodiment getting in touch with your body emotions learning to communicate and then creating that space between the stimulus and response right so that space in between has to grow bigger and bigger and bigger and the bigger that space the better your emotional intelligence becomes because now you're able to

pause and reflect and be self-aware of like oh i'm getting into this pattern again oh my mind is telling me this thing again that's happening so a lot of it is just like creating that gap so you're becoming less reactive in a situation that from the first time yeah yeah uh in that that's amazing i love how you break down the process because i think that like allows them to think about things that maybe they've never thought about before or allows them to process things that like you said they never learn from their parents they learn their parents taught you know your parents know and do the best that they can with the skills and tools that they have right but we don't realize that till we're adults because we idolize our parents our parents are

supposed to be right even if if they're we know that they're not doing something that's right or it feels wrong they're still our parents it's like it's almost like you kind of give them an out for whatever you know so yeah that that's really great so what are some key elements that you would say are needed for a strong healthy relationship that relates to emotional intelligence self-awareness communication um huge time alone i would say to just like reflect on where you are and what's happening with you. Um, a common goal and a common vision and, um, having some things that you both value. So sharing like the bigger values, sharing that as well. Yeah. I mean, you, you nailed like a couple of the ones that I teach, uh, you know, obviously

I don't have the background that you have, but to have a successful relationship, um, You guys can have different hobbies, even a different set of friends, but your common core values and your belief system is, I feel that we'll be able to embody everything that you go through in life. I feel that when you have those and those never change and you're finding that person that is a healthy relationship as, because we grow, we constantly grow. And if you're not growing with that person, then, you know, it might go this way, you might go this way.

But, but I feel that those are definitely huge to the healthy relationship. Yeah. You called it. That's great. I love that you said time alone, because I don't think we do that enough. Oh yeah. Like once you're in a relationship, it becomes this thing where it's always a we, right? It's not like me.

It's like, we, are you guys coming for dinner? or like what are you doing for holiday like it's always you're as an item and that's normal that's okay but like at the same time I think it's quite important for again for that like self-growth and like bringing new energy into the relationship right you want to have some time alone to be you also right because you're not you're not an item like you're not this two people that became one you are two people living your lives together and like sharing them together you know and like in my view you don't complete each other there isn't like the other half like I know it's a metaphor but like for some people it really is like if I just have that person like everything will be fine

and it's like no no don't be confused like you have to be your own person right you have to have your own self-identity. And I have lost that in a past relationship. And I, after that was over, I was like, oh my God, like, who am I? Where am I? Who are my friends? Like everything fell off. And it's like, I will never want to experience that again because it made me feel so much less of a person. Like I wasn't complete without them. And it took so much longer to heal, go through that healing process. So I think that's amazing that you teach that to people because I think again, like you get in a relationship or you're, you're dating and it's fun and like, I get it, but like, okay, go do your Pilates or go do your, whatever that you

love to do, have your girls night and the guys go golf. I don't know, whatever it is. I'm just very standardizing, you know, what it is that completes you. It makes you whole, makes you energize and then come back together yeah and you know also like as you were reflecting on this another thing that came to my mind was when we're overly attached in a relationship it could also be a trauma response from you know when we have like different types of attachment right and and you know one can be avoidant attachment and the other one be like overly attached and so you're always like pushing and pulling and that's unhealthy so even though it feels like oh yeah we're together we're doing this thing it's like you just become this one blob and it's unhealthy again like

bringing them back to a healthy relationship so time alone and like reflecting on yourself your patterns and what you're doing is very important again to just come together and create this healthy bigger thing yes this is before my therapy this is before the years of psychotherapy be oh maybe that's why I was doing that oh maybe that's why so I feel you I mean trust me I've done it I've done it I've been there I've done that and it's not cool and um like I one of my best friends we usually we um often discuss how you know when you're in a couple for a really long time and you either happen to get divorced or the other person passes away and to your point when you just don't have that self-identity once that happens I mean what do you do then I mean you're

50 60 70 what do you do then right it's like you can't the other person's there and it's amazing but you can't like you never know what's gonna happen you just don't you might be left alone and if you're have no identity of your own I mean that's so tough to then go and start building it out again, you know? Yeah. I mean, I had this conversation actually with a few of my family members over Thanksgiving and my sister-in-law, you know, her, the kids are finally in school and she's married to my brother for a while, 10 years. And I said, oh, so what are you doing for yourself now? And she looked at me and she was like, what are you talking about? I said, well, have you like gone to an exercise class? We're going to get your nails done. Like just really

random stuff. And she goes, uh, no, I go, well, what do you want to do? I don't know. And I was like, oh my God, really? You, you make a list. I don't know. I don't know if this is something I was like, make a list and just start doing stuff and see if the new Courtney, if you love it or you don't love it and just find something for you, like, forget about the house, Forget about the kids, forget about, you know, being the mom, the wife and, and see what that looks like for you because yeah, God forbid, you know, I mean, I just think like you, like you talked about, it's just healthy to have that. And I think it's one of the easiest thing for women, um, being a mom and being a business owner, being a homemaker, all of that, we lose that so

fast because it's, we're doing, doing and giving and giving. And then when you stop and this head swirl, you're like, Oh, so a lot of, you know, my clients who are dating after divorce or marriage, you know, divorce or widowed, or maybe they're just married to their career either way, you know, coming, starting fresh to date. I'm like, wait, you need to who are you first? Because you, you can't know what you want in this dating world. Yeah. You might want someone hot, you know, someone younger, some great sex, like who knows what was missing in that relationship or, or whatever, but you have to know who you are and what you want before you can actually have productive dating. Yeah, absolutely. I could not agree more. And also

I'm personally like if I had someone after divorce I'd be like there's this question I learned from another coach so this is not you know I didn't come up with it but it's like so great and it's how have you created that I mean yes you're divorced now and and this question is not to just like induce whose fault it was or guilt but it's like just look back and reflect how have I created this what was my part in the relationship that made it not work right and how could I learn from that and not carry it forward because I think so many times when we break up with someone we're like okay this person was like this and now I want someone you know younger better whatever like else not like that other person was and we forget that like no no no like

you were in it too right so just like to take a step back and see how you created it as well yeah and that's part of having a high IQ right self-awareness just constantly questioning reflecting and being like okay what was my part in this how did I create this what is happening is that a pattern could I have done better like who am I now who I want to be? What's the vision that I'm creating for myself going forward in relationships? Yeah. I mean, that's exactly the process that should happen, but I also feel that in today's world, and maybe this is something you've experienced and I'm obviously going to generalize and stereotype, sorry, man, I love you. But I know that sex is a mask like for them

to really deep to dive deep into emotions i mean do you find that that's still society you know oh just be you know macho and sexy and you know let's worry about the sex part you know you know i was listening to a really great podcast a few weeks back and the guys like dating coach or used to be a dating coach for years and um he was discussing his relationship with his wife and what he brought up was that like men who can only have sex but they can't cuddle they can't kiss they can't make out they can't pleasure the girl like they just want to get to the good part they are so disconnected from their body that the only time they feel something is when they're at 10 like they don't feel anything when it's eight or

five or three right which is like cuddling kissing making out hugging no it has to go from zero to ten for them to feel what's going on and that's really really sad not from like and you know I'm not judging them it's just like oh my god like you're so disembodied that everything has to be to the max like you can't eat a salad you have to have a burger you know because like your taste those are just dead. Like you can taste the salad. So maybe they need to abstain from sex. I'm just saying, look, I love sex and I think it's great. And I think it's healthy. And I'm talking about that type of person and especially all these guys dating, you know, it's a lot of it's like Tinder hookups, la la la la. And that's fine if you want casual sex,

but it's not going to last forever. Eventually you're going to want to have that relationship. you're going to want to go home to someone you're going to want to share your life but if you are that person take that away and start talking to that like start dating on a different level you know start dating without that and and you still might be crazy horny or whatever and she still might turn you on but like if it's it's almost like like a mask you know so it's like taking that away if you can right and start working on like getting deep and see what you like about that person see that person is shares the same values and beliefs yeah and it's you know it also reminds me of like you know there's this stereotype among women that

like men don't want to do foreplay right and like sometimes it's true and that is the pattern of like, I'm so disembodied. I have to go from zero to 10. I don't want to do the foreplay. I don't want to do one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10 now. Right. Yeah. And similarly, when you're, if you're that type of person and you start dating, if you keep repeating the same pattern, like once you're in a, you know, let's say you end up with that person, the sex is going to become boring real fast. You know, six months, the hormones are down or a year if you're lucky and then it's boring again and it's because like you know kissing hugging at different times of the day not just when you're about to have sex that's like foreplay too like

you want to be in foreplay all the time so if you just start dating just be in foreplay instead of going for the 10 you know and you see what happens maybe maybe you like it and it'll change your sex life for the better yeah definitely well yeah i don't mean you can't like hug or like cuddle or you know, all those things, because those are different intimacy levels as well. Right. I think and also intimacy is not just physical, but I think that and I'm not just saying it's men. Obviously, I know that women also do this and it's it's I think we do it because like our walls up. Right. We've been abandoned. We've been trust issues. We have commitment issues or whatever is the underlying issue. Uh, so, you know, again, that's a good mask just to have fun

and everything's great. And, um, so yeah, but I, I think that what you do is so paramount, you know, I don't know a lot of, I know a lot of life coaches or dating coaches or relationship coaches, but I love that you really, and I know you probably coach on other things, but you really hone in on the emotional intelligence. And I feel like there's so many people out there that don't even really realize that it's a whole category in itself, right? Oh, that was just because, just because I did that because my dad did that. So that's who I am. It's not an excuse. Oh God, like don't get me started on that's who I am. I'm like, when somebody starts telling me that's who they are, I'm like, Oh, let's do this. Cause it's like

our personality is just an adaptation strategy if you think that like who you are is who you are it's like you're kidding yourself you just adapted for like various traumas and things that happen and neurological responses I mean there's so many different variables in it it's like your personality begins when you start to consciously look at yourself and create yourself the way you want and so this like emotional intelligence work just ends up being like a groundwork or like a palate cleanser for the actual thing that i'm going for and it's like create for the person to consciously create their identity and themselves and to be as they want to be so not to say that they will never repeat the patterns again it'll be you know it'll be magic but you you'll show up

differently and you'll start acting differently and at the end of the day then you'll become that other person and then you can come to me and say well that's how I am because that's how I am they'll be like yes because you consciously created it it didn't get installed in you when you were little or you know to whatever response to anything it's not a coping mechanism anymore you are who you said you are ah that's beautifully said so okay another like question of say a couple is like been married for a long time and maybe they never really understood who they were at a young age right maybe they raised a family but now they're kind of learning different things about themselves that they like that aren't necessarily meshing in the marriage

i don't think either one of them are possibly emotionally intelligent enough to say you know look at it and in the right way but what would you recommend for somebody that that there's two partners that are completely growing in a different direction um i would just like to preface this by saying that this is not my area of expertise oh okay sorry i i mean i guess i'm like using it as an emotional intelligence level like i guess they're not self-aware enough or maybe they are and they just don't want to deal like i don't know i'm trying to put it in the emotional intelligence part um yeah maybe i don't have enough information and i know that's not your specialty i apologize it's all good yeah but i guess you have to just

have to look at that and and hopefully these people can like figure it out well I'm always like ask questions and also like what is something that you're unwilling to admit so let's say somebody who is in that place comes to me right yeah and I'm like look I'm not for the whole preface but I'm like what's there that you're willing to admit what is it that you're not telling me what is it that you're not telling yourself because the way that will conversation work would just be like yeah I've been with my wife and she's like this like you know I'm just I'm one to do things and she doesn't she just sits on the sofa all day and whatever and it's like what is it that you're not telling me what are you hiding from yourself and that's where the

whole thing starts okay because maybe what's been happening is you've been growing apart from that person for years and you're just really comfortable and you don't you know it's it's a comfort zone you're not happy anymore but you just can't admit it yeah or maybe something happened in your relationship that was really really really big but you didn't talk about it or solve it so you just both ended up resenting each other or you know just resigning from the relationship yeah yeah I mean, there's so many things that could have happened. Yeah, I know. I just, that just pops up in my head really quick.

Sorry about that. I was like, ah, you're like, wait, it's not my, um, well, I love it. So, okay. What was your favorite date and what was it off the top of your head? I know there's so many. That is, that will not reflect well on my former partners. nobody has to know and know any names not naming any names they know who they are yeah um I'm yet to have I think my favorite date because yeah I know that's kind of sad um it's a good

question you asked but um I don't think anyone ever taken me out on a date per se like I did have some dates but they weren't good so I couldn't even give an example um and I don't think I'm a good one I would just meet a guy and then you know we'd be friends for a while and then we'd be like oh something's there and that's it so like the dating phase wasn't even there okay well we'll have this conversation again and you'll tell me that you had this great date you'll be like I know what she talks about it right this is what it was well if somebody on your podcast listens to this and then decides to invite me and create the best date ever for me I'd be very appreciative I would love that yes so they get to know her and see what she's interested

in what she wants to do I always suggest so if you if you go into you really like someone and suggest doing a fun activity that maybe you've never experienced before so like I don't know um, aerial aerobics, I'm just using something out there or skydiving or, you know, it doesn't have to be that crazy, but maybe do something you've always wanted to do. And then you just have a person to do it with. And there's no expectations on, Oh, does he like me or whatever? You're just going out and having a fun experience. So, and it could be your best date ever. You never know. right yeah no like as you were saying that I was picturing it it's true like if you go for a coffee date or a dinner it's kind of like oh like we're doing this thing and you know we're playing and

we're pretending and it's awkward and there's no chemistry whereas if you're doing something I mean you're just doing this thing with another person and it's adventurous and it's fun and you know you either you don't even have time to think of like are we connecting is this happening is the chemistry here because you're just like you know having fun really definitely takes the pressure off of the awkwardness um and it could be in a group setting it could be with an instructor could be stand-up paddleboarding so you're just really focusing on like you your experience and then who knows maybe it's even greater with that person there so and if not you still had fun right not exactly you still have fun at least um so if people want to um reach out and

work on their emotional intelligence realized listening to this that oh my gosh maybe i really need to brush up on this maybe this is what's been going on with me and they've had some aha moments where can they find you rima okay um first of all let me just say something since i'm shifting my business okay anyone who has like um self-awareness of five and below would be referred to a therapist by me okay because if you're like a zero to five it requires a lot of work to just kind of get to know your patterns okay um because i'm wanting to like give you the tools and you know make your emotional intelligence better and higher and then create the you that you want to be I love it and if we just spend the entire three months or four months talking about you know whatever happened

in your childhood I'm like it's all good I have a I have a psychology background so like you know I know how to do it but it's not for me anymore okay but where do you find me um I just have my Instagram account so that's Rima underscore E-N-E-V-A and um I also started a newsletter recently so I just kind of like write the musings on life and whatever comes to my head really and um I have a website called Venus Mentoring and um fun fact like I started my coaching business coaching men on dating and that's when I kind of pivoted towards emotional intelligence because I was like oh like they don't really know like they don't understand themselves or the other person and then there's this whole complication so hence the name uh but I kept it because I like it and

um yeah um I'm also on LinkedIn Rima Eneva um we're gonna link that in the show notes I guess so you'll find me and that'll all be there. Don't send me a message. Cause I, I, I struggle to talk about things and concepts. Like I need an example. I need someone to come and be like, this is what's happening. What do I do? It's much more easier for me to then like, you know, come up with a better and more applicable response for everyone. Yeah. That makes sense. Well, that's awesome. I know maybe I went off a little bit topic here and there today, but I find what you do fascinating. And I think all the men on here needs to reach out to Ms. Rima. If you are a five and above and you just need some tailoring and want to be your best self.

I really appreciate you being on today's show and making a guest appearance. And like I said, you will receive all the show notes. I believe you will be posted in January. I'm not sure the exact date, but because of the holidays and whatever. So I will have everybody email all the information so you can post it and put it up if you choose to. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Thanks so much for, like I said, being on today's show and good luck with your new, you know, endeavor in your, in your business. I think it's perfect. You figured it out. I love it. I said new year, new me, right? Exactly. Awesome, Rima. Thank you so much. You have a wonderful day. You too. Bye. Thank you. Bye. Thanks for tuning in to today's episode. Come and hang out with me on Instagram

at Celeste Moore Image. Let me know your thoughts on today's episode because I always love hearing from you all. You can find all the links and resources in the show notes of the episode on my website, celestmore.com. Okay, that's all for now. I'll see you in the next episode. See you next time, friends.