Moore Style - Finding Your Match with Cat Cantrill

Episode Date: October 3, 2022

Do you know what you really need in love and partnership, or do you feel a bit unclear? On today’s episode, I invited professional matchmaker and dating coach Cat Cantrill to discuss the biggest challenges her clients face and her advice for those looking to find their forever person. Join us as we dive into Cat’s live dating game show, the power of vulnerability, and tips for creating successful, long-term relationships. This episode, we discuss: [02:46] Cat’s background and the creation of Game for Love [10:35] A behind-the-scenes look at Game of Love [15:18] Cat’s journey to stage life [17:22] The power of permission [19:44] Why people work with a matchmaker [25:50] The benefits of being open-minded [28:35] Keys to a successful, long-term relationship [33:42] The importance of self-work before dating [35:58] Cat’s favorite date of all time [39:25] Where Cat would go if anything was possible   Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode! Now go have fun and swipe right and see who is compatible for you.  If you're looking for a more personalized service to help you out with your dating profile, you can message me on Instagram @celestemooreimage and let me know your thoughts on today’s episode. I’d love to hear from you!

Hi, everyone. I'm your host, Celeste Moore, and you are listening to the Down and Dirty podcast, aka the Double D's of dating. This is a podcast for navigating the ins and outs of modern midlife dating. Here, we will discuss the challenges that men and women face in today's dating world. Like many industries, this one is forever changing, and I believe this platform will help those who need or want it. Today, it is the best time to take control of your desired outcome, whether it is a marriage, significant other, life partner, or just to gain the confidence in dating once again. Every other week, we will dive in and talk about different viewpoints that seem to be challenges in today's dating arena.

So let's get into today's episode. Well, today, welcome to podcast 16 for me. We're getting there little by little. Today I have the wonderful, beautiful guest Kat Cantrell. Did I say that right? You did. Yes. Yeah.

Perfect. Just want to make sure, you know. Yes, yes, yes. Well, thank you for being here today and being on here. I know that my listeners would actually love to know a little bit more about you. So let me tell them what you have provided for me. So Kat is a professional matchmaker and dating coach. And Kat's goal is to help men and women find their forever person.

she assists people in discovering what they really need when it comes to love and partnership and gives them the tools to help them have happy dating lives she also has a podcast dear matchmaker and this offers guidance with answering questions from all things to dating and love and she's also the creator and producer of game for love or just game for love a live dating game show in which she helped singles in real time find love. Yes. Oh my God. That is, that just sounds so cool. It is so cool. But of course I'm going to say that I'm a little biased, but yeah. And it sounds so fun, like just a really different dynamic on how to get people together and get them matched up. Absolutely. Can you tell me a little bit more about how you create,

came to create that and what it looks like? Yeah. So game for love was, so to give you a little bit of back history of me as just as a, as a person. Yeah. Um, I am just a natural entertainer. I've been like that my whole life. And I think that just when you know that, you know that about yourself and, uh, the stage was always something that I was always really familiar with. And, um, as I really, without going into too much of detail of how I got to the point where I'm at now, when I pivoted my business, cause I was a coach for over a decade for women, for all things, I was coaching them on business and I was coaching them on self-love and I was coaching them on dating. And one of the things that the pandemic did for me is forced me to niche down to really

help one particular type of person with one particular type of problem. And as business coaches, this is what they tell you. As soon as you hire them, they're like, what's your niche? What's your niche? And so they always tell you that you help who you were five years ago. And I had spent the majority of my thirties navigating the dating world as a single mom and never really understanding why I was having to go through all of the trials. and, and, uh, horrible stories that came from that. And what, you know, why was I having to go through all of that at that time? Um, and now I know, uh, so that I can help, uh, so I can help singles now. But, uh, one of the things that was missing from my, for me as a person, as,

as individual was the, the entertainment piece of what, cause there's, I mean, honestly, I'm sure Celeste that you could, you could vouch for this too. Dating is a really great topic to make fun of. Like it's, you could laugh at it, right? Like, and I think that it's great to have that kind of perspective on it is to not to take it so seriously. Cause I think we just take so much of everything in life so seriously. And so I feel like with, I started creating, I, so I started creating reels on Instagram. And I, um, it was like really tapping into this part of me that had been dormant for a while. And I was like, oh my gosh, this is so much fun. And I get to make fun of it, but yet I get to educate. They call it, uh, how do they, what do they call that?

Infotainment. There we go. I was getting there. And through the pandemic, I watched my poor partner. My heart goes out to him. I, we watched every single dating reality show. Oh my God. I could feel you there. Um, and I'm sure you can like as a dating coach, right? It puts you, you have your own perspective on it because not only are you watching the singles and how they're interacting with, with each other, but you're also like from a coaching aspect, like, Oh, they could do this or they could do that. And, uh, I was sitting there and my partner leaned over to me and I have already like niched down and I was working with singles and helping them with dating. And he's like, why aren't you doing this in real life? And I was like, I don't

know. Um, and I approached a local theater and I was like, Hey, I have this idea for creating a live dating game show. And the reason why I wanted to create it was not only because it would be so much fun for me as a person, um, that would fill my cup in more ways than one, because not only would I be able to bring community together, but also highlight singles in a positive light, because I feel like there's so much drama. Like, of course we know that that's what drives, that's what drives, that's why people go tune into the bachelor and the bachelorette every single week. It's not because, you know, they're, they're necessarily hoping for the best for everybody. Like everyone is so addicted to the drama that's as a part of those shows and the

producers do that on purpose, right? The producers will feed into that or make clips to create storylines that don't really exist. But for me and for what I do, part of dating coaching, just like what you do is helping people shine in their lives. And that's what you do with your image consulting. And like, so I, I know that you do a lot of this work too, where I feel that singles will hide from themselves. I feel like that they're so afraid to shine. They're so afraid to really step into their own, to own their magnificence, uh, to be able to really be authentically themselves. Yes. Yes. You said it without having the fear of judgment. Right. And that could be really challenging in today's world, especially with online dating, especially with

you're not knowing who are you really talking to on the other side? Are they really who they say they are. Am I being catfished? I've had a lot of clients that have showed me profiles going, I don't know if this person's real. I'm like, if you're questioning it, most likely, you know, the person most likely isn't, you know, I've had people that I've come across who have been taken for millions of dollars. I mean, so like, there's all of this stuff that is a real thing. And so why not create and do all of this together and create something that's in my own liking that I know would showcase singles that I know that would bring community together that would help people connect in real life because chemistry is, we can look at someone's

picture and say, no, but you can literally bump into that same person at an event and have instant chemistry. And you would have never known it because you said no due to their picture, right? So creating an event to where it makes it fun and exciting for singles to connect, to showcase them in, in these amazing lights of really supporting them and allowing them an opportunity to showcase their talents and who they are, and then hopefully help them connect and find love. So it's when I had this concept, I put it together and I launched it. The first one I did was March of 2022, and it was such a huge success. There were, there was a few matches that were made. One of the matches went on two dates and the other match went on four dates,

which I still think, I mean, that's still a success. Yes. I mean, that's amazing. And I feel like, you know, people always go, what's your success rate? I'm like, well, what do you, what's the, I mean, what do you determine as a success, right? Like everyone has their own definition of what that is. But the thing that I, that to me, the whole magical part of it was yes, helping singles connect and finding love, but truly it helped these singles step out into their own element and boosted their confidence to no end. Because it takes a lot of courage and vulnerability to be on stage in front of hundreds of people. Not only that, but like sharing a part of yourself. So the feedback that I was getting from these people

was that, okay, yeah, so I didn't have a connection. I didn't have a match, but it changed my life. It changed how I viewed myself. It's changed my dating life. It's changed how I view love, how I view people like it, this game show sheds so much more than just, um, finding, helping, you know, helping people find love. Cause I feel like sometimes that connection that needs to be made is the one that you need to make with yourself first. Oh yeah. That's you hit it spot on. Yeah. And the fact that you were able to see those results from that has got to be like really inspiring to know that you're on the right track with these people to know that this is needed and wanted by so many. And like you said, it doesn't have to be

a success in a match. Um, how does that, how does it work? So you say they're on stage. Yes. So what is that? Okay. When, when they come to this event, what are they doing? Yeah. So I'm doing it actually. It's funny that we're having this interview, right? Cause I'm doing the next one's October 8th. So that's in a few weeks. And so I've just been having my casting call. So I've been interviewing lots of singles. Um, and so I just made the announcement this past weekend. And so I'm conducting these little 15 minute, uh, like Q and A's with all the contestants this week. Okay. So the way it works is as I've been interviewing all of these contestants is in my head, um, kind of as a matchmaker, putting the puzzle pieces together

on who I feel would be compatible. So as I, I, I have interviewed all of them and I, and I asked them a series of questions. So questions like, how would your best friend describe you? Uh, if you had a time machine, how would you use it? Uh, if you had a superpower, what would it be flying or being invisible? Like these questions that give me like really a kind of a quick jumpstart to their personality. Okay. Cause it can be really, I mean, the surface questions are boring. Like nobody really wants to know, like we want to know like the, and these are types of questions that I always use at my speed dating events, questions that will form a connection much faster than just the on surface. So how these singles answer these questions,

plus what they do, their age, what they're looking for. Because of course I ask those questions too. Like, what is it that you're truly looking for in a partner? And as I'm interviewing them, I'm taking down notes and strategically figuring out what is that, what is that mathematical equation and what is that going to look like on stage? Yeah. So the way that the game show works is that the way, and it's all based off of what contestants come forward. Sometimes I have more women and sometimes I have more men. So I have to work with what is being, what is being presented to me. And I was really fortunate that I had such incredible, uh, amazing candidates who came forward to interview for this. Not only that,

but they were all within the same age range. And man, I tell you, wow, that is a struggle just in itself, right? Making sure that people are not only compatible, but within the same age range because it does matter. And, uh, so the way that this game show is going to work is each contestant is introduced on stage. I'm going to do a little brief summary. So I take their interview and I condense it. So it was like a 15 minute interview and I condense it down to a minute. So the audience has a sneak peek of who this person is. Then they get interviewed on stage by me, just a couple of other questions. And then they have a choice. They can either showcase a talent or they can spin the wheel of destiny. And the wheel of destiny has just basically a bunch of

truth or dares. And just to give them again, like, are they quirky? Are they serious? Are they funny? Are they, so this gives us another sneak peek into who they are and their personality. Now I've strategically placed each candidate within like these certain sections. So this particular game show, I have one, I have a couple of main male contestants who have been paired up with three female contestants. And I already know who the match is like in my brain, even though I do think that there could be possibilities with each candidate. I feel like there's one of them more so than the others that are more compatible. So I announced who that is on stage. and the two remaining bachelorettes have the opportunity to actually go on date with someone

from the audience. So prior to the show, we've taken names of people who are interested in going on dates because during the game show, whoever is matched on stage actually goes on a date right then and there. So we have a setup that's upstairs in the theater and we take them upstairs for cupcakes and cocktails, and they have 20 minutes to get to know one another. And after that 20 minutes, they let us know, was it a match or is it not a match? And at the end of the game show, because this is consistently going on with each sex section and then each contestant's moving upstairs. So it's just this continuous energy. And at the end of the game show, they let us know, were they a match or were they not a match? And if they were, then they get a date sponsored by

a local restaurant or a local business who has sponsored their date. If not, then that's okay too. So it's basically just a interesting and fun and exciting way to showcase them and to hopefully help them find connection and with a live audience. Yeah. That is really creative. The fact that you took something you were familiar with, like you said, you were very comfortable in front of the stage. Were you a drama girl? Were you an actress? Were you a singer? I was a dancer. Okay. And, um, in my previous business, I was, I owned a dance studio and, um, I started putting on these huge productions in my area and I naturally started to MC. I actually hired an MC who bailed out two hours before the show. And so I was forced to

MC the show. I'd never MC to show before. And then after I did it, um, afterwards, everyone was like, we you're the emcee, like you have to emcee your own shows. And so it kind of was something that just kind of naturally found me and I fell in love with it. So, yeah. Wow. That is so cool. And I'm sure, I mean, it is something so unique. And I think, like you said, people are looking for something different. I mean, and you like, you really nailed it on the head where I really talked about this in my podcast going out and in that and the next week and it's about dating profiles and oh yeah it's about how I really try and get people to be in front of each other in real life because this whole society of online dating it's so easy just to do the swipe and just

text really quick and you know it's very aloof it's very surface and I think people are very comfortable with that. And that's not going to last in a real relationship. No. And, you know, it's just, it's a great way what you're doing to really do something instead of just like, oh, let's go get coffee or let's go get dinner. Like, you know, I mean, it's a little bit less uncomfortable and then you've got all these other people who are there, right. Being open and vulnerable to this situation. Yeah. Because people sometimes need permission from other people to do it. Like, um, I find that I had a set of girlfriends that, uh, tried out for, and they both made it, um, for the game show and they gave each other permission in order to

audition. And I think that sometimes we do need that permission or when we see that someone else is being vulnerable and open, like in a live atmosphere like this, you'll see, and this is what I'm, this is in my, in my experience with just helping, helping women be vulnerable, be open, paying attention to yourself. I find that especially in a live environment, when you're physically watching someone being open, it really, when you're looking at them and you're like, wow, okay. Um, they're putting themselves out there. They're doing this. You say to yourself, okay, if they can do it, then I can also do it. So I think that there's a lot of power in, in permission and to your point digitally with digital dating and, and swiping in this, uh, paradox of choice,

uh, issue that we have in society, just in general, like we can't, you know, we don't have to, there's not two jams to pick from. There's like 17 jams to pick from. And we can become overloaded with, if there's too many decisions, studies show that we just don't, we can't make them. We just become paralyzed. And so I think in this, in, in that aspect too, of what the game show offers, it's not like I'm saying you have 17 choices to pick from. It's like, here's your choice. That's it. And I think that that really helps people too. It really helps them like really pay attention to really what's important to me. What is it that I'm looking for in someone? what are the things, you know, how do I feel when I'm around this person versus like just

going through so many profiles and just, you know, treating people as they're disposable. It's, it's, it has ruined dating. I really just, I'm so convinced of that. It's just really ruined dating and connection. Yeah, I agree. It's put an ugly aspect of it. And yeah, I think people are really turned off by it. And so, so kind of my next question as a matchmaker, what has been some of your biggest, I don't want to say complaints, but yeah, complaints in the dating arena that has to do with like, okay, I went, I was on all of these online dating apps having, I don't know, zero success or very small successes. And then they come to you, why, what makes them come to you? What makes them say, okay, I want to go see

somebody that can actually help me. Yeah. So it's usually, it's usually there's, there's usually three different reasons. First, like you mentioned, they're frustrated with, with what's available. They're frustrated with the whole online dating process and they can't seem to find connection. And it's, it's frustrating to, to the point where they feel that in order to find someone that it's almost as if it's a full-time job. So they have disconnected in a way to where they're not excited about dating anymore, but they know that they truly seek and they really want a partnership and they really want a relationship, whatever, you know, some people want marriage. Some people don't, some people are just looking for their best friend. Right.

And I think that people get, they're exhausted by it. So that's the first thing. The second is that they're making connections, but they're just not with the right connections. They're just not the right people. So they may be having lots of, lots and lots of first dates, lots of first dates, no seconds. And so what is happening on that first date? That's not, not getting them to the second date. Or I mean, to me, it's partly that it's helping them also kind of change that mindset of being like, you know, I'm sure you hear it too, where it's like, there's nothing but garbage in the dating pool, or I'm going to go on a date, but I already know what's going to happen. It's like, we do this, this, the way that we speak about dating and the

way that we speak about things really does play a part in how we view our dating life. So the second is just that the quality of dates. And then the third, honestly, is that they can't, it's not necessarily quality, but like really finding someone who a lot of these people will get to like the three month mark and then something happens at that three month mark. So they don't really know what the other person is presenting. So the part of, of matchmaking that's so enticing to people is the vetting process, right? So it's me actually sitting down with the other person, not just who's presenting themselves like as my client, but also the other person, like what is their attachment style? What values are they looking

for? Like making sure that they're truly on the same page, just that, you know, I've done the background search. I've done all of that for you so that you can go with peace of mind of knowing that this person is, is most likely on the same page as you are. And therefore we'll set you up for success so that when you do get to that three month mark and she's like, I want to start having kids now. And he's like, man, I don't want to start having kids until, you know, five years from now that's already, you don't, that's already been done for you. So I think that just helping these singles save time and energy really is the reasons why they come to me. Okay. It makes sense. I mean, cause honestly, I feel like you can be very different and compatible. I think that if

you don't have the same core values and life goals though, or the same direction, I feel those are the main important aspects of a healthy, long lasting relationship. You can have different hobbies, you can have different friends or whatnot and have your own life. And I think that's also healthy, but coming together and that's, that's great because you're taking, you're finding that match for them and taking the, you said, like you said, the time away so that they can do whatever it is that they want to do. Um, and giving you their trust and knowing that you're looking for really what they're looking for. So, yeah. And I think that part of, of the business, you know, with the matchmaking that I do is that I was a coach first,

So coach first matchmaker second. So it's, I use all of these opportunities. It's not just, I'm going to find you a match. And then what'd you think it's okay. So this wasn't a match for you. Tell me why, like, let's talk about the reasons of why you think that this person isn't compatible with you. So it's, it's also going through that step of, of kind of, it's what I always say, like on, you know, taking off the, the skin of an onion, right. There's so many layers in there and you don't really know until you put yourself out there on a date with someone who you thought that maybe would be a good fit for you. And then you're like, oh gosh, maybe this person isn't. These are the times where you actually reflect with yourself and to have somebody else

to bounce that off of, to me is priceless because we don't know what we don't know. And until somebody sheds the light on something and says, hey, why are you thinking this way? And why are you, you know, why are you doing X, Y, Z? It really makes people think. And so to me, and it's important as a matchmaker because that's data collecting for me, right? So it's, okay, this is what they've said. This is what I know would be a good fit for you. This is what you said that you're looking for.

And it gives me more data so that I can hopefully deliver better matches in the future. And, um, I think that we have an idea of what we want, but in the long run, we don't know really. I mean, we, we, a lot of singles think that they, they know what they want, but really when I ask them, they really don't where I'm asking singles, like, what are your core values? They're like, um, family. And I'm like, got to do better than that. So it's like, we got to really sit down and figure out what these core values are. And

because you want to make sure for sure that those are aligned, but it's funny that you mentioned about like not having common, you don't have to have common interests. I had a client once who very liberal, very liberal. And it was like, she refused to date nobody else other than the, had the same exact political ideas as her. And when you're on one side of the spectrum or another, right. And this could be with super conservative as well. Right. To me, like if you date someone who has the same exact ideas as you, there's no like banter. There's no like curiosity. There's to know, like challenging in a way to make you think, especially if, if being an intellectual, if that's one of your love languages, meaning like you love to have these deep, dark conversations

up, not dark. I mean, I know sometimes they're dark, you never know, but like having these very insightful, deep conversations, you're not going to want some, you're not going to date someone who has the exact same. I mean, maybe your core values are aligned, which is important, but I mean, and I told her, I'm like, could you date someone who might be a little bit more kind of in the middle? Like I date, I get, you can't date like someone who's super conservative, obviously. Right. But is there some wiggle room in there that it doesn't have to be someone like this? It's like vegetarians who say, I only date vegetarians. When you say something like that, it really narrows your pool. Yes, it does. And so you have to be more open-minded. I mean,

there's a difference between not settling. I think it's important to mention that I'm not telling people to settle, but I'm saying to be more open on things that you could be more open about. Agreed. Agreed. Yeah. And I just, it's so funny. You're going to be the perfect segue for this last podcast that I did. And it was really good talking about being open and authentic and truthful and, you know, being open is so important because not only does it possibly show us that there might be something out there that we like, there might be, you know, a new sport, a new club, a new whatever that, oh my gosh, I never knew about this place because you were open enough to have somebody take you on this date and show you, show you

something versus Nope. I'm hard-lined and who wants to date anybody? That's a hard liner anyway. I know. Well, they say, um, one of the keys to a successful long-term relationship is having a growth mindset. It's I mean, kindness, empathy, compassion, consideration, and having a growth mindset, meaning that as an individual, that you're always expanding and seeking more about yourself and wanting to know more about yourself and wanting to know more about just everything and willing to be like making mistakes and owning those mistakes and having the emotional intelligence. If you're just, everything is black and white, you're not going to make a good partner. And you can see why, because it's either the partner has to say to themselves that they're

going to get on the train with you and have to agree with everything that you say and do, which does not work. You can try and pretend to make it work for a while. Believe me, I've been there, done that. My ex-husband was very much like that. You can try for a while, but eventually you're going to realize that this isn't, this is not what a true partnership is. It's not that I fit into your life. It's that we fit into each other's right. It's, it's more about that really that, um, more of a compromise than black and white. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's the only way to be like a growth mindset as an individual as well. I mean, yes. So going into that dating, you know, game, if you will. Um, yeah, I, I found that

so many people, as especially as we age and we get more set in our ways and it's like, okay, get on my train, like you said, or get off. And it's like, you know, I said that for a minute too. And I realized that's how I used to say that too. Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. And so, you know, that poses a really big problem. It does. And because we wouldn't want that from our partners either. We wouldn't want the potential love interests to say that to us, where it's like either you're a part of this or you're not a part of it. And I think you also want someone who has a growth mindset because as you go through the seasons of a relationship, they say that it takes three years to really go through a lot of different seasons with someone to really see

these different perspectives or being able to see them in different and new ways because life happens in three years and it can really shed a lot of light of who this person is. And for me, if you have a growth mindset and you face these trials in your relationship and you both have that growth mindset, you're going to be able to overcome that obstacle much quicker than if someone is arguing with you that they're right and you're wrong all the time and that you have to, I mean, to me, that's not, that's just, that's power struggle and it'll just inevitably end. It'll just end and disintegrate. So growth mindset for yourself, going into the relationship and understanding that that's really the key. One of the key points of having a successful relationship

will help you so much. And you can see this in dating. You can see this in dating. Yes. Well, and we're forever growing and changing, right? Nothing stays the same. If it does, it's very short lived. You know, our society is constantly changing. Technology is changing. I mean, to know that it's okay to change. And I think maybe that is people, a lot of people don't agree with change. They don't like it. They're comfortable. Yeah. But knowing that it's okay to change and it doesn't have to be black and white. It doesn't have to be so different, but it can be in baby steps or in just little nuances and then having that. And like, and I'm sure that's what you coach people about as well. I mean, cause you know you did tell me when I was on your show that you love to coach first before getting them matches. Cause they're just in a more healthy position to be dating. And I think that's fantastic. I think it's kind of the way I work, except I don't match make. It's like getting them ready for the world

on their outer appearance, their inner appearance, their mannerisms and getting them ready. And it's like a process. And I couldn't tell them, okay, you're ready to go see Kat unless I knew you were ready to be in the dating world, ready to meet a new person that you're looking for. So, yeah, it's, it's the reason. So, and I think too, that goes with the growth mindset of just like we were talking about, right. So it's having that knowledge that, gosh, I need to learn more about myself and really what it is that I'm seeking or wanting in a, in a true partnership, because as a matchmaker, if I'm going to, I could interview you. I could take down all the information. We can talk about it. We could figure out what is it that you're looking for.

And I could find you the perfect match and I could present them to you. But if you haven't done really the work of understanding how you're getting in your own way, how are you sabotaging your own life? What are your previous stories telling you about love and romance? If you don't address these things, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter who I deliver to you. You're going to say no, or you might say yes for all the wrong reasons. Right. So it's really helping them having a greater understanding of who they are and what they bring to the table, right. To the relationship because I've had, I'm sure you hear this too, where there are singles that are like, I have a lot to offer. And I'm always like, that's great. Let's talk about that. Tell me

what that is because it's not, yes, you might have a lot to offer, but also it's allowing someone else to show and present themselves, to offer themselves to you too, because this, I find this more common with women than men where women will suppress their needs, suppress the things that they really want. It's really more of the anxious attachment. And there are some men who are anxious attachment who will also go into this space, but they'll suppress their needs in order to be able to please, or, or to be able to find a partner just to be in a relationship. Right. So these are all things that it doesn't matter as a matchmaker. I could, I mean, to me, it's making sure that both parties have enough self-awareness to growth mindset that it sets them up for success.

Yes. Yes. I love it. Well, I love that. I love what you do. I think it's so phenomenal. And I love what you do too. I know. I think we're just like a perfect little match. So I have just a couple of questions and this is just to get to know you, uh, get my, have my audience get to know you a little bit. Um, so I know you said you have a partner, but what is, what could you say your favorite date was of all time and why? Oh gosh. Okay. So I'm, I, uh, my partner, Brian is the most romantic man I've ever met. And every favorite date, I mean, even going back to when I started dating in high school, really my favorite dates are the ones that he's taken me on. And there's one in particular,

we call it the gold rock date. And so the gold rock date, this was date number three. So the first date was really one was really my favorite, one of my favorites too, but date three was, was pretty amazing. So he, so he kind of, we were texting each other back and forth and he was sending me pictures of his hands, just completely covered in gold, like in gold paint. I'm like, what is going on? So we started sending me like these hints. And so he came and he picked me up for dinner and we went to dinner. There's a hotel here, uh, the double tree and they have a hotel at the top that oversees the city. And so we went, we went to dinner and after dinner, he said, okay, we're going to go on a scavenger hunt. And he, within the first, I would say first year of our

relationship, we had a journal that we would exchange back and forth and write little love before we moved in together, we would write little love notes to each other back and forth. And sometimes in this journal, he would put me on these little scavenger hunts and he would hide little like trinkets and stuff around town. And I would have to go hunting for them. So this was kind of the beginning of kind of what this, um, one of his love languages. And so he's like, okay, we're gonna go on a scavenger hunt and we're going to go and find, um, these gold rocks. And so he would go and he would drive, he knew strategically, you know, he plays these gold rocks around, around the city. And so he would like go and find the gold rock. And so I would

go and find the gold rock. And every time we would find a gold rock, we would slow dance every single time. And it was just like this most. And I think for me as a woman, I was convinced and I had done so much work for on myself. I went through that growth mindset, understanding what I was deserving of. And I thought romance really wasn't a thing because I think that's what people had taught me. And that's why I never experienced romance for myself. And it wasn't until I met Brian where I really allowed him the space to show me really what this was. Cause I think that It can be really hard, especially if you're a driven woman who's had to do everything on herself, you know, on her own, it can be really difficult to really kind of step back.

And I hate to use the word feminine, but really be in that feminine space of allowing them to show up. And that's what I was doing for him was allowing him to show up. And it was just, yeah, it was our whole relationship has just been so magical and it's been eight years and I just wouldn't trade it for anything. So I'm so happy. That's the beautiful, it's so like creative too. I know. Oh, okay. Well, lovely. I love it. Um, last question before I asked for where people

can find you, um, it's a little bit out there, but do what you want with this question. Um, if you could be any place at any time, anywhere in the world, anywhere in the universe or whatever, uh, where would it be and why? Okay. So immediately I'll just go with my, what the first place I said was I would love to, um, go back to London. London is one of my most favorite, favorite cities to the point where I was even like considering like possibly getting a flat there, but boy, is it expensive. So I think I'll just be a nice, nice place to visit. Um, there's something magical about London. Um, and I don't know if it's because I grew up in the States. And so I'm not that just the way that London is and the way that the people are and

just the culture, the multicultural, um, society that's there. Maybe it's because I, I had, um, an incredible, uh, I went to this incredible tea room that's called sketch. Oh my gosh. If you, if any of you have been to London, you have got to go to sketch. It's S K E T C H. I think it's tea. Okay. The whole restaurant is pink. All of it's pink. Oh my God. And we got to have high tea and like all of the wonderful goodies with it. But I think to me, London is so romantic and I feel, I mean, people are like always about Paris. I don't, I didn't really get that feeling about Paris, London, a hundred percent. I, yeah, I would just love, cause I, I was before the pandemic, I would take women on these international adventures everywhere. And so we, I took a group

of women to London. And so we got to experience these amazing, incredible things while we were there. And yeah, it was just one of my favorite. How fun I will next time I'm there, I will look it up. I also love London. So okay. Awesome. Well, where can our listeners find you? Um, and what are some of the avenues if people want to look you up? So absolutely. Yeah. So you can, you can find me, um, on my podcast, which is dear matchmaker. You can, uh, my website, which is the heart agency.com. Uh, there's a little free quiz there. I think I, I think I gave you the link where people can take to find out what their attachment style is. Cause that's always important. And then you can also find me on the socials. So, um, you can see a whole

different side of my personality on Instagram. So my Instagram is cat Cantrell and then same as Facebook is cat Cantrell. So come and find me over there. Yeah. Go check her out. She's amazing. Yay. You're amazing. Thank you, Kat, for being on today's show. And I'm sure everybody's going and take some great pieces away. So I will love to have you again. We can talk about so many things, right? Yeah, I know. I know.

I feel like we could do a whole like segment, like multi-series. Yeah, definitely. Thanks for tuning in to today's episode. Come and hang out with me on Instagram at Celeste Moore Image. Let me know your thoughts on today's episode because I always love hearing from you all.

You can find all the links and resources in the show notes of the episode on my website, celestmore.com. Okay, that's all for now. I'll see you in the next episode. See you next time, friends.