Moore Style - First Date Tips for Men Dating Later in Life

Episode Date: April 1, 2022

There are many people who begin dating again later in life. You may have thought this is not something you would go through this stage, but now you’re here. There are so many reasons why this may be the case, and they’re all okay! Maybe you’re newly divorced, you have been married to your career, or you just never saw the need to settle down. Now you find yourself wanting a life partner, and we all know that time becomes more valuable the older we get. I’m sharing suggestions for conquering first date hurdles for those of you between the ages of 40 and 60.   This episode, I talk about: [1:56] Staying open to new possibilities when dating later in life [3:00] Choosing a location for a first date [4:51] Attire for a first date [6:03] Meeting your date for the first time [6:35] What to talk about on a first date [8:11] What NOT to do on a first date [9:07] Paying the check on a first date [9:25] Kissing on a first date [10:39] Asking for a second date (or not!)   Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode! Come and hang out with me on Instagram @celestemooreimage and let me know your thoughts on today’s episode, because I always love hearing from you all!

Hi, everyone. I'm your host, Celeste Moore, and you are listening to the Down and Dirty Podcast, aka the Double D's of dating. This is a podcast for navigating the ins and outs of modern midlife dating. Here, we will discuss the challenges that men and women face in today's dating world. Like many industries, this one is forever changing, and I believe this platform will help those who need or want it. Today, it is the best time to take control of your desired outcome, whether it is a marriage, significant other, life partner, or just to gain the confidence in dating once again. Every other week, we will dive in and talk about different viewpoints that seem to be challenges in today's dating arena.

So let's get into today's episode. Dating first. There are many people that are at a point in their life where they are dating once again. You may have thought this is not something that you would go through this late in life, but now you are here. There's so many reasons why this may be the case. And just so you know, they're all okay. Maybe it's because you're newly divorced or you have been married to your career. Also, maybe you just never saw the need to settle down or seriously date. Now you find yourself wanting a life partner, wife, or husband, or at least something worthy of your time. We all know the older we get, the more time becomes valuable.

Being single at the ages between 40 and 60, give or take, has many hurdles that need to be conquered. This can be generally described as set in our ways. Over the years, it's safe to say that this may have happened because you know what you like, how you like it, and even who you like. This is completely normal, although when you begin to date, this can become a problem if you're not open to new possibilities. This can limit the number of people you may match with.

I'm not saying that you should be someone you're not, but you should be open to the possibilities of outcomes that you might not be able to see. I think that this is the only way to move into a new relationship. I'm not only an image consultant and dating coach that helps successful midlife men. I am a woman who has dated and been in relationships. I feel that I have a unique perspective because I'm a woman who knows what women want from men. I also communicate with men well and tell them in a matter of fact, in a direct way.

I want to share with you some tips that I have for first dates and what that can look like. let's say you are active on a popular dating site such as hinge bumble raya and you happen to match with this beautiful lady and she seems to have a few things in common with you you want to ask her on a date you do and she agrees you pick a date on the calendar that works for you both and decide that grabbing a drink would be the most comfortable by the way you do not have to grab a drink for a first date. You might also suggest to do an activity like maybe going sailing, going to a winery, trying a new sport, or even just going on a scenic walk. Doing something other than awkwardly

sitting in front of someone gives you an opportunity to get to know her better. You will learn how she interacts with people, if she's polite, if she's adventurous, is she an extrovert or an introvert? Is she in shape? There's so many others. And especially we all have things that really bother us. So this is a great way to find that out. This really takes the pressure off too and allows you to find out if you enjoy her. Let's say you still want to keep the date to drinks. This is completely okay too. When picking a place and making the reservation, please make sure and keep the location close to her. Men, we want things done easy for us. She should not be driving too far. I mean, this shows that you have been thoughtful in this matter and she will realize

that this is what a gentleman does. Also do your homework and make sure that the place is not too loud so that you can hear each other. This would really make getting to know her hard if you could not. Make sure you are always a few minutes early so she does not wait on you. Also in doing your homework, find out what the attire is so you can be prepared, please. Now you know what the dress coat is for the bar or restaurant you're getting ready for. You will need to shower, shave, or trim your beard or both. Make sure your nails are cut and clean. One to two spritz of cologne. That's all you need, men. Make sure your clothes are clean and unwrinkled. Your shoes are polished or at least clean. You have a nice watch at the very minimum, a sport coat. Trust me when I tell

you that she is going to be prepared. She will have showered, shaved, put on makeup, styled her hair. She may even bought a new outfit. If she's really likes you, if you are unsure what to wear, then you need to hire me or at least wear a shirt that compliments your eyes or matches them. She will want to look into your eyes and not away. So make sure that her eyes are drawn to yours. When you meet her, you will want to make eye contact. Even if you're shy, try not fidget. Stand tall and be confident when meeting her. If you're seated when she arrives, please stand. If you arrive together, please open the door.

Chivalry is not dead and should never be dead. Women love a gentleman, even if in the bedroom she does not. That is for another episode. Do you know what to talk about on a first date? you will likely somewhat be nervous. And this is completely normal. I mean, she's a complete stranger that you are seeing in real life for the first time. So first I would honestly compliment her. Maybe she has beautiful eyes or captivating smile or a smoking outfit. And she looks sexy. No matter what you compliment her on, just make sure that it's genuine.

She will know if you're lying. So keep it real. The best thing to do is ask her questions, ask her about her desires, her interests, her likes, her passions. This way you can determine if you guys have any common interests. Also, women usually love to talk about ourselves. So this will help you get to know her. When you are talking in the conversation, keep it to common interests and passions and desires.

If you find you have nothing in common, then this may be a first sign of it not working out. I believe you must have something in common to keep a relationship going. Also talk less and listen more. The exact percentages are 80% listen and 20% talk. You will end up learning so much more about her, which can help you determine compatibility. also when a woman has your undivided attention and you are truly listening she may tell you more about herself because she is comfortable this is a major way in which we women connect also please do not check out other women while on a date this is so gross if you can't behave

you shouldn't be on the date then if you want to play the field go ahead but don't waste anyone's time. When you're on a date, you should be on your best behavior. Seriously. I know I have to say it, but you know, I shouldn't have to say it, but I am. Okay. I have to say a few do nots. Do not talk about exes. Do not go in depth about your children or any kind of drama or any kind of baggage. There's time for that in the future on dates. If that is the direction it is going, Believe me, we will run so far so fast when a guy comes to dinner or wherever I'm out with him and he's talking about drama. No, thank you. I do not have time or the energy in my beautiful space. is when it comes to paying the check. Yes, man, you will do this. This is not even a negotiation. Even if she makes more money than you, you will always be a gentleman. If later when you're in

a relationship and she would like to treat you, then that is okay, but not on first dates. On the first date, you will know usually if there's chemistry early on. This may not be as black and white though, either. You may find that as you go on a second date or talk to her more that a spark can grow. And this is actually a great sign because this means that something can actually build. Do you kiss on a first date? Ooh. Okay. So my thoughts are that this is a question for both of you is my thoughts are if you feel that it's something, there's something and you both desire it, then my answer is yes, go ahead and kiss. Maybe this kiss will cement the whether or not there is chemistry. I had an experience where I was definitely attracted

to this guy for months. I mean, we would shamelessly flirt every time we would see each other. And then finally we kissed and we both said, nope, there's no chemistry. We were totally shocked and surprised because we were both super attracted to each other, but boom, there was like nothing. So it does happen. I really hate wasting time and I'm sure you do too, but there's no rush to become physical. So if it doesn't feel right, that's so okay too. Lastly for this date, how do you ask her out on a second date? Do you wait till you get home and text her? No. Ask her before you guys both go your own ways. If you're into her, ask her. It's the only way you're going to know if she's into you. Do not make assumptions. That's the worst thing you can do. And if you're

not wanting a second date, please let her know that you had a good time, but do not feel this is going to go any further for you. That's okay. Be a gentleman, be an adult. And that is all my tips for now. Thank you. Thanks for tuning in to today's episode. Come and hang out with me on Instagram at Celeste Moore image. Let me know your thoughts on today's episode, because I always love hearing from you all. You can find all the links and resources in the show notes of the episode on my website, Celeste Moore.com. Okay. That's all for now. I'll see you in the next episode. See you next time, friends. Thank you.