Moore Style - Getting Clear About Your Life Goals, Core Beliefs and Core Values For Long Term Relationship Success

Episode Date: August 14, 2023

This week is all about getting crystal clear with the universe and ourselves! Why is it so important to know your life goals, core beliefs and core values?    Well, listen up! You are going to learn what each of these are, why they are important and how knowing these will help you get into a committed and loving partnership.    Please tell us your thoughts about this solocast over on Instagram, @celestemooreimage!   In this week’s episode we discuss: [2:05] What are life goals?  [4:00] What are core values?  [5:32] What are core beliefs?  [7:51] Why are these important to a healthy long term committed relationship?  [16:13] Our goals, values and beliefs may change as we age

Hi, everyone. I'm your host, Celeste Moore, and you are listening to the Down and Dirty podcast, aka the Double D's of dating. This is a podcast for navigating the ins and outs of modern midlife dating. Here, we will discuss the challenges that men and women face in today's dating world. Like many industries, this one is forever changing, and I believe this platform will help those who need or want it. Today, it is the best time to take control of your desired outcome, whether it is a marriage, significant other, life partner, or just to gain the confidence in dating once again. Every other week, we will dive in and talk about different viewpoints that seem to be challenges in today's dating arena. So let's get into today's episode.

Hello, everyone, and I want to welcome you to another episode of the Down and Dirty Podcast. As always, I am your host, Celeste Moore. Please don't forget to leave this show a five-star rating and a glowing review if you haven't already. It really does help the show get more exposure, which in turn helps more people. And that is why I'm here. I want to educate. I want to help. And I just want to open those eyes and ears to the possibilities of all the amazing things that can be happening for you in your dating life. So today I normally talk about and answer questions that you've submitted for my Talk Dirty show. And tonight, I decided that I'm going to do that next time. And I would love to talk about three really big things that are pertinent for a healthy,

lasting relationship. So I want to talk about life goals, core values, and core beliefs, and what they mean in a relationship. So what do I mean when I say life goals, core values and core beliefs? And why are they important in a committed, healthy relationship? Well, life goals seem pretty self-explanatory, but they are those big, juicy goals,

those big dreams and ambitions that you wish to strive to and achieve while here on earth. The reason why I had said, they seem to be pretty self-explanatory is because they also require brainstorming and a bit of dreaming and fantasy, right? We want to sprinkle in those big dreaming life goals, those fantasy life goals, the ones that are possible and maybe they're not. But I look at these goals in which literally could take you a lifetime to achieve, or maybe they happen much faster, but there are still those really big ones. For example, mine were to get a college degree, buy a home, be a

successful entrepreneur, own a jet, make an impact in this world, be the best mom for my daughter, and to be present and there for her, live a healthy lifestyle, open an animal rescue center, be able to retire young so I can spend time with my friends and family, and I have a lot more. And as you age, these may change, and they also may change as you achieve your goals, right? or as your life continues to evolve. So values are a set of moral standards and principles of behavior. So this is your own personal judgment of what is important to you in life. Values are

more of the intellect, the emotional and spiritual side versus the dreams. And here are some examples of my values are honesty, integrity, loyalty, respect, compassion for humans and animals, generosity, kindness, humility, wisdom, teamwork, passion, authenticity, beauty, balance of family and work, and autonomy. And these are values that are embedded in me and I live by, but they are also qualities that I want in a partner. The list can go on and on, but these are all very personal. So this is why it is so great to sit down and start brainstorming and write down maybe in a book or a notepad or whatever you have, maybe it's a journal, on what values matter to you. And you can also keep adding to this list. As you remembered

attribute, maybe you've forgotten, right? I think I definitely have more values, but I don't want to sit here and list that many more. But what are you doing to fine tune your list of values, which are very important to you? Think about that for a minute. Now, core beliefs are what you feel are to be true in life. These can stem from our childhood and even our experiences. These are broken down into what we believe about ourselves, others, and the world around us. So they can be positive, they can be negative as well. But here are some of my core beliefs, just so you kind of understand what I'm talking about. So I believe that everyone should be able to be treated equal, man, woman, other, any religious background or beliefs, whether you're

purple, brown, white, any color, any ethnicity, you should have the right as a human being to be treated the absolute same. I also believe that everyone has the right to worship their own God as long as you don't push your beliefs on others. Believe in whatever higher power you want to. I believe that all children, animals, and other defenseless creatures should be protected at all costs. I also believe in justice. I believe in love. I believe that we could accomplish so much more with peace and love than the hate that is dividing others and our country and this world. I also have many negative ones that I've had in the past. One of them is if I were to ask for help, then that person wouldn't get it accomplished like I would or as fast. So in turn, I just wouldn't ask. Another one was I don't trust people and that every man will abandon me at some point.

That every man just wants to have sex from a woman and nothing else. So these, of course, are no longer in my mind. And I've worked on the beliefs that were skewed and that were not serving me clearly. I do continue to work through some of my trust beliefs, though. I am only human like you all. And there are just, those are just a few examples of some of the beliefs that I have. So I know that people say opposites attract, right? That may be true, but the lasting successful relationships mirror your life goals, your core values, and your core beliefs. Everything else in your relationship can

be dissimilar, right? I mean, you can have different hobbies. You can even have different friends. You don't have to be the exact same, but when you have those three important categories of a healthy relationship that you see eye to eye, then anything can be accomplished with that, right? Now, why am I talking about these and why does it matter? I'm clearly wanting everyone here to know why it is so important for you to get crystal clear in what it is you value and what it is you believe. And I want you to do this before you start today. I mean, you might not know a thousand percent what it is, but when you know what you value and live by and these principles live by these principles, you are happy and content

so that this would be the absolute first reason to understand what your values and beliefs and life goals are. Secondly, knowing these will help weed out potential mates that don't align with your values, beliefs, and life goals. You will not be tempted to date someone solely on good looks, great sex, and or chemistry. Now, I want you to know that it is very important to have chemistry and that is something that it is there or it's not. I do feel that chemistry can grow, but there has to be something. There has to be an initial spark. You also cannot date someone based on the fact that they tick all of your boxes. And what I mean by that is you have your list and, oh my God, everything that I want in a mate is ticked off. You must have both.

I can coach you and all day long and set you up for as much success as humanly possible but the only thing I unfortunately cannot predict is chemistry that is why getting clear about what it is you want and what you do not want will save you time and energy and you will also attract what you feel is in alignment with you and the universe will show up to present potential partners. You just have to be open and a willing participant. So if you still are figuring out what it is you want and aren't crystal clear, that is completely okay. But this is an absolute amazing time to figure out what really matters to you. So maybe you've been in that toxic or unhealthy relationship for so long that you forgot about what is healthy and what it is that you really

want. I really believe that you should focus on self-growth through self-discovery. That can mean trial dating, right? That's nothing too serious. Just exploring and have fun so that you can kind of figure these out. I mean, you can accomplish this also through reading books, listening to podcasts, therapy, which I highly recommend, taking self-development courses, practicing mindfulness and don't forget to show yourself love and acceptance of where you are and where you've come from. Acknowledging that you don't have to have it all figured out right now and that's okay, but you know, who does? So these are beautiful times to explore with anyone telling you without anyone telling you what to do or what to like.

How amazing, how amazing. Single life is not all that bad, but it can be a tremendous time of self-discovery and exploration and experiences that can shape your life goals, your core values and core beliefs. And I wanna emphasize how important it is to be open to experiencing new things in life.

what is life if you don't take advantage of the many things we get to try and experience this can be trying a new type of cuisine traveling to a new country and getting to experience a new culture maybe you learn french maybe you act or take that cooking class you never did and but want to it can also be exploring new desires you never knew existed can also mean being open to hearing others' point of views. Why do I say this? I feel especially as we age that we can become stuck in ways in which keep us there. For example, if I think that all men should be the sole breadwinner, then I could really be limiting myself. Opening up can broaden your ability to learn more about life and yourself. Self-growth is absolutely necessary. My mom always told me,

if you aren't growing, then you're dying. And I think I really think of plants in which you are not watering them or not giving them enough sunlight, or maybe you're watering them too much or giving them too much sunlight and then they die. So I just will never forget the time back in my life in November, 2012, when I was deciding whether or not to move to New Jersey where my best friend lived and knew that I needed something different in my life. And I just didn't know what it was, but I knew that I wasn't happy anymore. And I was always living in the fear of living in my past and or running into my ex because let me tell you, Las Vegas is a small, big city. My mom said to me that I was withering away each day living in Las Vegas. And at the time

I was so scared to leave because I had a large percentage of my family living there. And by leaving, I would no longer have family to help me with my daughter. I hadn't have always been a sole parent so that I knew by leaving what I was giving up. And that was any possibility of having my family or friends around. But I asked my mom what she thought about me moving because I really could not make a decision. She said to me, although I don't want you to leave because I love you so much and I love seeing you, you need to move for your own sanity and your own growth. You are not growing here. You are dying. And I thought, wow, now that was really a true example, pure love. She was not selfish in asking me to stay, but telling me what was best for me

and my daughter. And sometimes being open is the absolute hardest thing because you can't see the end picture or the end result. Not knowing is not easy, but especially for someone like me who always needed to be in control so that I could measure everything else out in my life. But trusting myself was all I had left and to know that the universe and God would not allow me to fail. So I do have to say that following your gut is the only way to navigate life. Every time that I did not listen to my instinct or my gut always turned out to be bad. And when I listened, I was always rewarded with the exact outcome I knew or actually even better than I had imagined. So So imagine shifting from looking out of one lens only to see out of multiple lenses.

Would you see more beauty, more possibilities, more opportunities? Yes, of course you would. And you would see more than you could ever imagine. So bring this sense of awareness into your dating life. This is a very attractive quality in a person. And when someone can really get to know you as you know yourself, that is truly special. As we experience life and become wiser, we change our life goals, our core values, and our beliefs. It is also possible that you have the same ones when you're 15 years from now.

But if you have the same ones, they will be refined. my life goals have definitely changed and so have some of my old beliefs but i can say my core values have remained the same i am just realizing that i am of importance and only i can decide how to live my life so try that new restaurant travel to a small country and eat local foods move across the country or to another country all together and listen to a new artist to a new genre of music. Try that new sport. Do things that make you uncomfortable because stretching yourself emotionally, spiritually, and physically will only give you and let you experience growth. Hold tight and firm to your values, your beliefs, and your life goals because

you're worth it. And respect, trust, and believe in yourself. And this will in turn attract you to the partner who respects, trusts and believes and loves you. Life is truly amazing when you get out of your own way. So I hope this was enlightening. I hope this was helpful because honestly, this is why I do these podcasts. It's really to reach out to you guys and give you these tidbits of information because this is what we do. This is what I do. Thanks for listening, everyone and have a great night. Thanks for tuning in to today's episode. Come and hang out with me on Instagram at Celeste more image. Let me know your thoughts on today's episode because I always love hearing from you all. You can find all the links and resources in the show notes of the

episode on my website, Celeste more.com. Okay, that's all for now. I'll see you in the next episode. See you next time, friends.