Moore Style - How to Master Confidence Through Your Emotional Intelligence With Silvana Favaretto

Starting point is 00:00:00 you're listening to more style a podcast to help you transform your image and transform your influence if you don't know me my name is celeste moore i'm a certified image consultant and i help entrepreneurs master and discover their own unique style and today i have silvana favretto talking about confidence and how you can really master that through your emotional intelligence so thank you, Savannah, for being here. Thank you so much for having me. Yes, I feel really honored to have you. And especially as an emotional intelligence coach, it's so tied into confidence and how we show up as entrepreneurs, as women, as people, even going through everyday lives. So I would love to hear from you. When did you first realize the power of your own voice?

Starting point is 00:00:51 I think I first realized the lack of power in my own voice and the struggles that I had to express myself and get what I want, make things happen in a way that I was feeling fulfilled. I was always struggling. I felt like I was trying so hard to get the things that I wanted and I wasn't getting. So that's when I started studying myself and my inner voices, my inner child, my programming, all the things that made me who I was and what my limitations were. So then eventually I started making small moves because you don't build confidence in one step. it's it's gradually working on yourself and believing in yourself and doing the hard things and take bold moves and that's how you build confidence i love that you said that and thank you for sharing your story because it's really about taking action you know we can do the work

Starting point is 00:01:55 and and look inward and do the work and keep working but i think a lot of people and i don't know if you've experienced this but a lot of things that I deal with with my clients is like you know perfectionism you know I'm going to work on this until I can do you know I'm going to be perfect one day and there's no such thing as perfection there's no such a thing yeah it's like taking those like you said the bold moves the steps to get to it could just be one step in front of the next. Like you said, it takes time. Yeah. There's no perfection. We are always striving to get to our best selves. We're always trying to get to a point where we want the next level to be, we want it to be a little better, but there's nothing that we are going to achieve

Starting point is 00:02:44 that's going to be like so perfect that nothing's going to be better than that. It's okay to not be perfect and if we wait for us to be perfect we're never going to do anything yeah it's never it never happened never happens there's no such thing as perfectionism guys it just it really paralyzes you so and what is perfect for me it might be perfect for you it's completely not and if i keep this ideal in front of me where oh i have to achieve that to be happy to be successful then you're never living in the moment so you're just living your life in that little gold star ahead of you but you're not living in the moment missing all the really amazing things that life and people can give you and that will make you happy because this idea of perfection is this

Starting point is 00:03:40 idea that if i get that i'll be happy i'll finally be happy but you can just be happy right now with what you have yeah I love that so if someone is lacking confidence and they need help with you know getting to this level that they can be successful in what are some of the tips or some steps that you can give them here to help them maybe just move in that direction I think the first step is think of who is in your head is that you that want to achieve something so you can be happy or is that your parents or is that society standards or is that all your friends are doing that so you need you think you need to catch up to them like i think a lot of times we're not happy we're not confident because we're not listening to our true voice we have everybody

Starting point is 00:04:38 else's voices in our head okay so first step in recognizing who is speaking to yourself in your head and trying to find your authentic inner voice. Yeah, I love that. And I think so many people don't know their authentic inner voice because you're right. We listen to society and social media and what we think our parents wanted for us. And I talk a lot about this because, you know, my goal and direction was to go to law school or go to med school. And when I was like, No, I'm not going to do that because that ultimately did not make me sing inside. Like I, you know, I was not passionate about it. Yeah, I think you make it a lot of point, a big point here.

Starting point is 00:05:21 I think there's so many people living a life that they don't love because they're afraid to get out of that role that they put themselves in. and maybe they did it because of their parents the family the friends but ultimately you put yourself in that position and you have the power to take yourself off that position and move towards a life that you actually love and it's so fascinating and sad to see so many people living a life that they actually don't love they're just playing a role and like we gotta recognize it's like am i playing a role here am i really doing what i love yeah yeah i love that so give me an example of a client that will come to you some scenario like break down the process

Starting point is 00:06:17 the steps in which you would take to really help them you know discover maybe maybe what they're truly meant to do in this life any type of self-development course or coach is amazing or a book people that look into themselves and wanting to work on themselves and be better I think they're already ahead in their lives when they come to me usually are I worked mainly with women entrepreneurs and usually they are already in that journey of there's something about myself that I know I can be better and I there's a part of me that I don't understand and I need help understanding because sometimes you can like work on yourself for a long time by yourself but your blind spots are your blind spots you need sometimes you need someone else that's why sometimes you

Starting point is 00:07:15 need a coach to point that out to you so that's when they come to me so I can like see the things that like are right in front of them but they don't see it because they it's blind to them and so many things are blind to us so i take them on this discovery first is this phase of where are you are in your life right now in recognizing where you are no judgment no oh but i not no it's where you are and it's everything's perfect and you want to be better so So in order for you to be better, you have to uncover those blind spots, the shadow work, the inner child work, the programmings that you've been conditioned your entire life that you haven't talked in that level yet. So we start to recognizing those programmings and make a plan to how, what is your goal moving forward? And that's the next phase is, you know, work towards that goal by uncovering all those

Starting point is 00:08:20 programmings of the unconscious bias that you have and your mistaking beliefs about yourself and the world so you can like have a better life and be a better self and be more confident and achieve whatever you want in your life. Yeah, I love that because it's so important. You know, it's what I do with my clients in a very different way, but it's like, what are their goals and how can we get to the place that they want to go and be? And, you know, it comes from that confidence. And, you know, when this suit right here, this is my power suit, this is my confidence suit. I create it strategically so that I would put that suit on

Starting point is 00:08:57 and all of that, the insecurities, all the talk in my head, all that chitter chatter just went away. And so, yes, you obviously have to do the inner work, people. I'm not saying a suit's going to make that all go away yeah but it's part of the process yes yeah but it there are strategies that you can put in place and habits new habits new wardrobe but there are strategies for you to get to the next level like i i have the bold bombshell club and i came up with the name because bold because we're bosses you make things happen and bombshell because we're feminine you were like fashion you're sexy and i think it's the best combination we don't have to be like be a boss and be like a man and be our masculine energy all the time yeah and we can embrace the femininity

Starting point is 00:09:51 the the fashion that's why i love the work that you do because you know it's not just vain is your self-expression is how you present yourself to the world and the more you love yourself the more you're going to put more time and intention how you're going to present yourself not for other people but for yourself and how you want to feel yeah no i love that so much because it's really like defining and discovering that about yourself and the more you do that and like who you are the more empowered you are and so tell me a little bit more about what how did you create this bold bombshell club like what was it what was it I know you want women to they can be bosses and then their femininity and it's okay to have both they don't have to be the masculine yeah

Starting point is 00:10:39 what was kind of the the story behind creating this or what is the goal yeah so a little quick story is I I felt like I checked all the boxes I checked the boxes I was working in an amazing agency I was I had the perfect boyfriend on paper I had living in a high-rise going out for dinner having girlfriends but I wasn't happy I had box box box box and I realized that all the boxes was for other people not me so I it was already doing a lot of emotional intelligence work and I wanted to be more connected with my inner child so I created this project called 100 days of tool I I wore tweed skirts every day for 100 days to bring out my child, the child inside of me and my femininity. I love that.

Starting point is 00:11:35 And it became a thing. And I started hosting events for women to bring them together. And I saw women that are achieving so many amazing things. And I wanted to be around them more. So I decided to create events and happy hours and fundraisers and dinner parties. And it became a thing. I started in Chicago, and that's when I started speaking. I got a couple awards for empowering women, and it was really amazing.

Starting point is 00:12:07 I mean, like, thinking about it, I can't believe, like, that was me, and that, it was such a beautiful phase. then I moved to LA and I'm slowly building the club here and I want to find ways to build it online because I think we all need to be around each other and I did I did with the project I was talking I always talked about like I'm a bold person and I my family my friends always knew of me as bold. I always made decisions that they always considered bold. So I claimed myself to be bold, but I realized that it was too much of my masculinity, that I needed to integrate the femininity. And what I've realized, the women that I coached, is that there were the women that was boss and strong and powerful and the pantsuit type of women that but they lacked the femininity

Starting point is 00:13:08 and then I knew women that are sexy and feminine and gorgeous inside and out but they didn't know how to make decisions and they were insecure and I thought that the way is combining those two get the bold and get the femininity in combined so we can be sexy and feminine and sweet and calming and still have confidence and be bold and he doesn't have to be one or another yeah i love that so much because i think you are right because there are a lot of we we're putting this masculine energy by society and you know to be a boss in this world right we have to you know do the man thing and step up and you know take control and do all the things but we can do that and i feel confident in hands this is it's interesting i'm wearing three different skirts today i mean doing

Starting point is 00:14:02 three different events and i'm like not that big into skirts and it's it's interesting but who knew that i'd be wearing feminine for you like it's not you look amazing but thank you i i think it's really important for women to know that you can have it have both yeah and i love that you teach that yeah you can't have both and i think a lot of strong women have a hard time letting go of the guard and and be on their feminine yeah nature so you said you're a speaker yes how do you get ready for stage what is your you know pre-game if you will for stage that's um very good question so depending on the I talk to like very intimate group of women like 20 in a round table and to like 2,000 people on a panel and outside of doing the research necessary to talk

Starting point is 00:15:03 to the type of people that are going to be there and the topic etc I feel like for me is internal of voice is that that confidence that i know the fact that if someone is a speaker and it's invited to be a speaker they already belong there there was no doubt you don't sit there and think oh do i belong am i going to be good enough and you're already good enough period they invited you yeah you're already at the table that's like when you come from there there's nothing you can say wrong because they already vetted you there yeah and if you make a mistake you just embrace it and be i'm i make comic jokes and it's good i love that i will just if i trip i'll make a joke about that and just embrace and being your authentic self and i think when we are too much in our head

Starting point is 00:16:02 and worrying so much of how they're going to look at us, we lose ourselves a little bit more. It's how can I serve them? What kind of value can I give, you know, to you and to our audience today? That's what I'm thinking right now versus like, oh, do I look good or not? I mean, my hair is a little flat. I'm missing a nail. It's kind of fine.

Starting point is 00:16:29 fine but like how can you be authentic how can you be you know yourself and knowing that you already belong there yeah i love that point too yeah so tell me about some of the fashion choices that you make before let's say you're speaking to the 2000 people crowd yes i want to hear um how you decide what are you going to wear on stage i think you wear on stage something that a little bit more wow okay you know and it's in but it also has to do with your branding i had a i go to some red carpet events here in la once in a while and um i always ask this one friend and she tells everybody's like you don't dress for the event you dress for how your videos and pictures or you want your videos and pictures to look like you dress for you you don't dress for

Starting point is 00:17:26 anybody else and I think you if you have a solid branding I'm all about personal branding your branding to be on point because it's also the way you express yourself if you have a solid branding you will dress to that branding more and stop worrying about what other people are going to think or how you need to dress obviously if it's like a real estate event versus like a woman's event is a little different i would dress a little bit more you know uh conservative for the real estate event and maybe a little bit more a little more flair and sparkle and tool for the women's event but as long as i think the biggest rule is you feel comfortable because if you feel comfortable you are going to feel confident like if you look in the mirror and you feel comfortable

Starting point is 00:18:19 comfortable and confident about yourself when you look in the mirror you're going to feel comfortable and confident when you're in stage yeah i do love those points even though you say that if you're on if you're on point with your brand then it doesn't matter but i think even what i'm hearing from you is that you would dress differently if you were at a real estate event versus your beautiful bold group yeah that you have feminine women and entrepreneurs you can be a little bit more expressive and feminine and still this is wonderful guys because i want you to hear this again and if you haven't heard this you always dress for your audience but the message you want to portray exactly yeah you because you can be because my way of dressing for a real estate

Starting point is 00:19:09 It is still going to be a little bit more feminine and fun. Because that's your style. That's my style. Yeah. So I'm still true to myself. Yes. That's very important. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:18 You have to be. Yes. And that's the only way you can like feel confident on the stage because if you're like faking it there, your message is not going to come across. Right. Right. So if you can master and discover or discover and master your own unique style, then no matter what audience you're going to be in front of, speaking in front of, you know that that's

Starting point is 00:19:43 going to work because that's truly authentically you. Yes. Yeah. And I think the only job that we have is to be more of ourselves. And I think part of like the confidence training that I help women develop is how can you be more of who you are? Because so many of us have been, what other people want us to be. And that comes across in the way we speak, the way we stand, the way we dress and everything. Nonverbal verbal communication.

Starting point is 00:20:16 Yes, it's so important. You can walk in a room and not say anything, but you're messaging from head to toe. Your energy. It's so important. Because color is energy, first and foremost. So what color you're wearing, and you talk about this,

Starting point is 00:20:32 you're wearing pink today. Why did you choose pink? I'm just curious. I love pink. Okay. Why do you love pink? It's very feminine. I like every shade of pink.

Starting point is 00:20:42 Okay. I think it's feminine. I think it's, I like, I think it, it matches my complexion. I've never done the color theory. I really want to do it. But I feel like, I don't know, it's just, you can see my Instagram page. There's like all shades of pink there. I love black, too, and I love white, but there was always, like, at least a little sparkle of pink.

Starting point is 00:21:10 Yeah, I love that. I like to just learn, like, what colors people are drawn to and why and try to get to know them because the first part of a color analysis or a style analysis is discovering your personality DNA. That's amazing. Yeah, so getting to know you more about how you speak, how you show up, the colors you're drawn to. There's so much in depth, but it's really trying. Do you want to hear a fun fact? Oh, yeah, please. As when I was a kid, I was like the kid with glasses in front of the classroom.

Starting point is 00:21:44 Okay. And I was the smart one, one of the smart ones, and I had kids coming to my house to learn before the test. I was with a tutor. and I never wore pink because from really young age I was I had this conception that if I was wore pink and I was too girly I wouldn't be smart and I you know and I think that's why it's so important for me to be both bombshell and wear pink today because I can be both I can be smart I was so afraid to, even like 10 years old, to be judged as like a girly girl and not a smart girl. So now, even today, I see people judging me as the girly, sexy girl.

Starting point is 00:22:35 And they have no idea that what I value the most is my brain, is how smart I am, and not like just my physical appearance and how I show up. and i think that's why it's like i wear pink today maybe unconsciously but i'm always so drawn to drawn to pink now that i i didn't never worry when i was a kid wow what a great story because now you can truly be who you want to be yeah and i'm sure that's didn't happen overnight like you said like confidence takes time and yes digging in deep and doing the doing the work Yes, that's really where you're being kind to yourself because it's not easy. And I think if you're a woman today and you are working on yourself and trying to be confident, you're very bold because it takes a bold woman to be confident and be authentic today and not fit into everybody's boxes. That's very true. Okay, so give three tips to the audience today if they want to learn how to be bold and confident.

Starting point is 00:23:48 What three tips would you give them to take action today to get to that bold and confident self? Get the thoughts out of your head. Start journaling the thoughts that you have in your head and recognize who are the people speaking to you and separate their voices from your own true voice i love that that's i think one of the biggest one okay the other one is you know how you don't go to the gym and you start lifting really heavy weights right you go and lift very little so if you want to learn how to speak up and be confident and strong you're not going to just like stand on a stage and start speaking to everybody or stand up to your boss in front of the whole company and demand a salary it can be like

Starting point is 00:24:45 you're afraid to ask that person like to pass the salt at a table because they are higher up than you and you'll be like can i get the salt and you just practice that just very small acts of expression self-expression either is speaking up uh maybe you don't want to wear pink in a big dress maybe you just wear a bracelet that is you know that makes you feel a little bit more feminine and it's like those little steps i think very important for you to get to where you are and it's like a small it's it's the little steps to get you to be confident and be more of yourself And number three, find people who are on the same journey as you. That is so important.

Starting point is 00:25:37 And those people may not be your friends right now. It may not be your family. It may be a completely stranger that you meet on a club, online club, like the Bold Bombshell Club, you know? So find people that are doing the same thing so you can feel a little bit more confident of the steps that you're taking towards your bold, confident life. I love that so much because I always say get into the room that are with people that are on your same journey or that they've already attained that goal. Yes, it's so important. And you need to see other people doing what you wanted to do and that will encourage you. to get to the next level of your life. Thank you. I hope you guys learned something

Starting point is 00:26:25 from Silvana today. I know I did. How to be your confident, bold, beautiful self. And if you liked today's episode, don't forget to subscribe and like if you want to hear more about image, fashion, and style tips. Thanks, guys.

Moore Style - How to Master Confidence Through Your Emotional Intelligence With Silvana Favaretto

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