Moore Style - Talk Dirty To Me Q&A: Building Confidence, Handling Rejection, and Myths Around Masculinity

Episode Date: May 16, 2024

In this week’s episode, I tackle your questions regarding image, sex, and dating! Whether you are wondering what your partner desires in bed or you are looking for ways to handle rejection - this episode is full of valuable advice and insights.  Make sure to rate and review if you love the podcast and reach out and tell us your thoughts about the Q&A over on Instagram @celestemooreimage! In this week’s episode we discuss: [01:30] Question 1: (Dan) - How important is confidence and how do I build it? [03:35] Question 2: (Ron) - What are the signs that a date is going well? [05:08] Question 3: (Josh) - How can I understand what my partner wants in bed? [07:15] Question 4: (John) - What are effective ways to handle rejection? [09:03] Question 5: (Jack) - How can technology enhance my dating life? [11:11] Question 6: (Jim) - What are some myths around masculinity?  [13:52] Question 7: (Matt) - How can I maintain a healthy relationship during stressful times? [16:03] Question 8: (Noah) - How to keep the spark alive in a long-term relationship?

Welcome to the down and dirty podcast, the ultimate guide to modern midlife dating. I'm your host Celeste Moore and I'm here to help you navigate the challenges of today's dating world. Think of me as your female version of hitch but better with over 16 years of experience as a certified image consultant and dating coach. I've got the inside scoop on what women want. In this podcast, we're diving deep into the world of healthy masculinity and modern dating. It's a fast changing industry. And here you'll find personal stories, expert insights

and candid conversations that will empower you to take control of your dating life. There's never been a better time to achieve your desired outcome, whether it's marriage, finding a significant other, securing a life partner or simply regaining your dating confidence. We're here with you twice a week to explore the viewpoints and challenges in today's dating arena that resonate with every man seeking dating success and love. So let's dive into today's episode. We've got an exciting discussion lined up for you. Get ready for the double D's of dating where dating dilemmas turn into dating triumph. Welcome everybody to another episode of the down and dirty podcast. As always, I'm your

host Celeste Moore. And today is another episode of Talk Dirty to Me, where everyone can submit their questions and I get to answer them. I love this episode. Let's jump right into the first question. This is from Dan. How important is confidence in the dating game and how can I build it? Well, Dan, let me tell you, confidence is truly crucial. It makes you more attractive and helps navigate dating more effectively. You know, build it by focusing on your strengths, practicing self-affirmation, and stepping outside of your comfort zone regularly. I also really want you to focus on being your true authentic self. And maybe right now in life, you don't know who that is, but this is where you get to start digging into yourself and start figuring out

the things that you love, that you want in a partner, the things that matter to you, your values, your beliefs, your life goals. And as you get more clear on these things, then you will truly be more confident in who you are. Don't forget to show up as beautiful and authentic as you can be because this is when you will truly find your partner. Because if you are wearing any type of mask, if you are trying to be someone that you are not, it's one day you're going to drop the mask and it's going to be so heavy because I've been there. I've been there where I was wearing a mask for so long and I just had to let it go because you know what? At the end of the day, I love who I am and you should love who you are. And that is confidence. And women

see this. When you have confidence, they are so attracted to you. So don't forget confidence is truly crucial and you can build it by doing these simple steps, practicing the self-information, stepping outside of your comfort zone regularly and know your worth because you're worthy of love. You're worthy of to be who you are and also be open to learning and growing from your experiences. I hope that helped. All right. I love these. The second question is from Ron and it says, what are the signs that a date is going well? Okay. I love this question because a lot of men ask me, I don't know if she's into me. Is she flirting with me? Is it going well. I'm so nervous that I can't tell. And honestly, I really want you to pay attention

to body language, to her body language. Is she making eye contact with you? Is she leaning in to really pay attention to the things you're saying? Does she have genuine smiles? Those are real key indicators that the date's going well. Also, she could be flipping her hair or doing things kind of in the primping side where it looks like she really cares. She wants to be very beautiful for you. Also, does a conversation flow naturally with both of you? Is there like an ebb and flow? She says something, then you say something and, you know, going back and forth. And if the parties are both engaging well and active, then this is another sign. Another good indicator is if you guys make plans for a second date, right?

So that should come up organically, and I hope it does. But at the end of the day, if you're still unsure, ask her. Simple. All right. Well, I hope that helped. Next question is from Josh. how can I better understand my partner, what she wants in bed? Now, there are so many answers to this question, but I'm going to start with the first and foremost, and that is communicating.

Communication is really key to understanding what your partner likes. Also, the reaction that her body makes when you are touching her or caressing her or kissing her or any of these things, if she is leaning into you more or if she's moaning or if she's smiling or if she says, I like that, then those are also really good indicators that she is enjoying whatever you're doing. But to understand her, I was just told this to do kind of a brief at the end of your sexual encounter and say, did this work for you? I really wanted to try this. How does this feel for you? And this felt really good. And I think when you start from the things that went well and ask about the things that you're unsure of, and hopefully she'll tell you. Use open-ended

questions to encourage your partner to express her needs too and preferences freely. So don't just say, Oh, yeah, no, yes. Like ask her, is this something that we could try again? And if so, why do you think that is? And make sure to listen actively. Okay. I always say this, but it's really important so that you say, well, this is what I understood you saying, so that the other person really knows that you heard them. Because it's really important. And this way, you can gain deeper insights of her desires. So that is the first thing I would recommend and obviously would be, you know, really tuning into the body language of how she is responding to you as you're touching her and kissing her. Okay, number four. Sorry,

I hope that helped, Josh. John is asking, what are some effective ways to handle rejection in dating. Ooh, ooh, ooh. I have a freebie on this on my website, guys. Go to my website, click on the link, and you're going to get a lot of information, but I will give a much shorter version. But I want you to understand rejection is not personal. You don't know what the other person is going through. They could be going through a complicated breakup. They could be in a complicated situation in their life, it really has nothing to do with you. So rejection is redirection. Please listen to that. Rejection is redirection because you do not want anyone to tell you something that is false or lying to you, or they just want to make you happy when you know those people in life, right? They're

people pleasers. And so they'll say anything just to keep, you know, no conflict. But if somebody says no, this is a great indicator that this person is not for you. So I want you to understand that rejection is really redirection. Stay positive, learn from each experience, and don't be afraid to put yourself out there again just because you heard the word no. You know, in business, we always say it's get your first hundred no's because that means that you're not taking it personal, right? Just understand that you don't know what that other person is going through. And if they say no, okay, moving on next, but keep your head up. Don't let your confidence come down from that. Don't let that ruin your ability to ask someone out again, because we

need you men out there to be more confident and ask us ladies out. Okay. We want that. So I hope that helped there. This next one is from Jack. How can technology enhance my dating life? Well, Jack, let me talk to you a little bit about the enhancing of dating apps these days. OK, so obviously, dating apps are great for so many reasons, because when we get older and we're in our careers and we just don't have the ability to be around a big pool of people at a time, a big pool of ladies like in college or, you know, and I'm not saying don't date someone at work, but it could get ugly. So just keep that in mind. So dating apps are great because you have a large audience at your fingertips. It enables you to meet people that

maybe you would never have met in your inner circle or friends or based on hobbies. It allows you to filter potential matches and interests through your preferences, right? It saves some time and effort, I think, mostly. If you do it strategically, there is like, I just want to put that out there. This can be all great as long as you're very clear what you're looking for and make sure that your boundaries are solid. So get clear on your values, your beliefs, your life goals that doesn't mean you guys have to have everything in common like hobbies and friends just keep an open mind but at the same time if you do all of this then I really truly feel that this could be successful for you also leverage technology for creative date ideas right and

like virtual reality games or streaming a concert for a virtual date because I know a lot of people are doing virtual dates just to get to know someone and see if that's a potential for you. So those, I believe, are the things that technology can help with. All right. I love these questions, guys. And I hope everybody is learning something, taking it like little bits and pieces from these questions because you know we're all thinking them at some point in our lives, right? The next one is Jim. Okay. What are some myths about masculinity that impacts dating? Ooh, that's a really good one. So many believe that being masculine means hiding vulnerability or emotions, which is totally not true. Let me tell you, vulnerability is strength.

And when a woman sees a man in him being vulnerable, in being able to express emotion, and I don't mean be a crybaby or like women are like, oh, a guy can't cry. Like, no, we are human beings and we have the ability to show emotion and we should show emotion. And that really means that we're trusting you. When someone is vulnerable, they're giving you trust or giving you a space to make them feel comfortable. And I really want to express to authenticity and emotional openness attract more genuine connections. You know, we can think that someone is hot, like, oh, she is sexy or whatever. But at the end of the day, if you're not connecting in a deeper, authentic way, then what's the point of dating somebody if it's just superficial? I want to say another myth that

men should always make the first move. I truly believe in chivalry. And I think that is first and foremost should be and all the time should be implemented in daily life, dating life, relationships, any kind of relationships. But yeah, you know what, women, we have the ability to make the move. If we see something that we're interested in, let's go for it. Who's to say that we can't ask a guy out? And I had an amazing guest, Garen Flowers, on my show a couple episodes back. You should listen to it. And he's like, yeah, I love that. I love when a woman is confident enough to come over to me and ask me out or make the first move. So modern dating is a collaborative and healthy situation for both parties. So yeah, there's a lot of myths about masculinity. And

I think the only way to really redirect masculinity is by changing what we have learned, changing what it looks like. And I know there's a lot of men in this space, and I commend them for the things that they're doing. Okay, we've got two more questions. James, I hope that was helpful for you. The next one, this is from Matt. How can I maintain a healthy relationship during stressful times? Well, that's a great question because we are all stressed out today, whether it's work, home life, or all the above, traveling, you know, what's going on in the world. There's so much hate and divide in this nation and this world. And it can be very stressful. But I think probably the first and most important thing, again, open communication is truly vital. You know,

being honest about what you're experiencing, and how you're feeling, and letting your partner know that you're not feeling great. This is things that are going on with your lives and just check in with each other regularly, because I think this is also important. You know, it's one thing to say, to see it on your partner's face, but like, you know what, I'm just going through X, Y, Z. And don't be afraid to tell your partner some things that maybe you need extra help with at this time. Maintaining a routine that includes quality time together, but also make sure each person has a space and time for themselves because we all deal with stress in different ways. And I think it's important to come together in a partnership

and it's also very important to maintain your self-identity. So just remember that if someone needs extra space during this time, do not take it personally. Just make sure you're communicating with each other and you're like, you know what, hon, I just need some time. Also support each other's hobbies and interests. This can only strengthen your bond too. Sometimes it's nice, you know what, let's just go for a run, like get some exercise, do some meditation, do an activity together where you guys can really kind of check out from the normal routines and days and of stress. So yeah, that's really, that's a great question. Okay. My last question is from Noah. What are some tips for keeping the spark alive in a long-term relationship? Oh, it's so good.

There's so many different answers. So I'm going to just keep some bullet points, but I would really recommend if you don't have date nights scheduled, prioritize date nights and continue to explore new activities together to keep things exciting. I know I was on another podcast and I was talking to this, the host, and he was like, you know, I've been married for like 25 years and you know, life gets in the way. We have kids, we have a mom living at the house and we have dogs and we have businesses. And then by the end of the day, they're exhausted. But what I highly, highly recommend for a healthy relationship is that you prioritize your partnership as one of the first things on the top of the list, if not the top.

Because without that partnership, things can really dissolve quickly. And then the kids in the home and the businesses and the mom all suffer. So make sure to really prioritize those things. And like I said, when you do a new activity together, this creates this spark, this exciting new moment for both of you. Your bond is strengthening because of this. And I truly love these ideas. And, you know, maybe one date night, it's something that she wants and the next it's something that you want. Yeah, so definitely that's going to bring back more of that spark. Regularly express appreciation for each other. And don't forget the small gestures. Like just for example, if your partner likes words of affirmation, leave little notes or send sweet

messages to her during the day. Some people are physical. Physical intimacy is also key. whether it's just like again small gestures on the small of her back or spanking her ass in the kitchen or give just out of nowhere giving her a kiss like a quick makeout sesh you know just some things to really that is not the norm right because we get so intertwined with the normal routine of day-to-day so just like a quick five minute something to throw her off you know will definitely give a little bit of spark there. And also keep exploring your physical desires and sexual desires with each other. Don't let the bedroom get boring because this is really important. If it's not the bedroom, try a different location, try a different position,

bring toys in, do dress up or cosplay, like all of these things. And it doesn't have to be that crazy. It just really depends on each other's desires. So get fun and play and do things with each other because this will also build that bond. And I hope that those couple things will help you spark a little more intimacy into your life. And don't forget, try new things, experience the things together and have fun with it. So I hope that everybody here learned some practical advice. And maybe this opens some discussions about dating relationships with your partner or, you know, just in life or maybe for your next partnership. So thank you for listening to The Down and Dirty. Don't forget to follow me. Keep exploring. Keep having fun.

And until next time, bye. If you enjoyed today's episode and want to support podcasts like ours, then please hit that subscribe button, leave a five-star rating, and or invite others to listen. Your support is what helps us grow and continue to bring you valuable content. Thanks for hanging out with us on today's episode. Let's stay connected. You can find me on Instagram at CelesteMoreImage, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on today's discussion.

For all the links, resources, and additional information mentioned in this episode, check out the show notes on my website, CelesteMoore.com. That's all for now, but stay tuned for our next episode where we'll dive into more exciting topics. Until then, see you next time, friends.