Moore Style - Talk Dirty To Me Q&A: Communication with Your Partner, Group Sex, Kinks & Navigating the 5 Love Languages in Relationship

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, everyone. I'm your host, Celeste Moore, and you are listening to the Down and Dirty podcast, aka the Double D's of dating. This is a podcast for navigating the ins and outs of modern midlife dating. Here, we will discuss the challenges that men and women face in today's dating world. Like many industries, this one is forever changing, and I believe this platform will help those who need or want it. Today, it is the best time to take control of your desired outcome, whether it is a marriage, significant other, life partner, or just to gain the confidence in dating once again. Every other week, we will dive in and talk about different viewpoints that seem to be challenges in today's dating arena. So let's get into today's episode.

Starting point is 00:01:05 Welcome everybody to another Talk Dirty to Me. This is my second Q&A and I'm so excited to see what questions we have to answer today. I am hoping that you will love them and you will continue to send in questions about everything, sex, relationships, first dates, how to dress, how to act, send them in. I will love to get on here on my next Talk Dirty to Me. So let's get into it today. My first question is from a gentleman named Alan Z. and his question is what do you do when your partner will not listen to you about your challenges and your stories is that a red flag in a relationship great question Alan this does sound like whatever form of communication that has been happening is

Starting point is 00:02:10 not effective. And that's a really big issue because communication is one of the staples in a successful relationship. There are other issues, then this could definitely be a red flag and a deal breaker. But if there's some other issues going on, so maybe your spouse or partner does not listen to you because you have lied in the past and there are some trust issues and they just don't believe anything that comes out of your mouth and so they choose not to listen maybe they're they really don't care and it's a one-sided relationship that will not work out because obviously there has to be two to tango two in a relationship two to make an effort etc etc so this could be a red flag but depending on the reason behind this there may be something where

Starting point is 00:03:10 you could resolve this so I would recommend seeing a counselor or a therapist at this point and find out what the issue is why your partner is not listening to you other than that I don't have any other information because there needs to be a little bit more to discover with that. So thank you for asking. And I hope that helped. And if not, moving on. Number two, this is from Brian. His question is, what do you do when your partner wants group sex, but you don't? Okay. This could very well be a deal breaker in a relationship. If your partner is absolutely insistent on having group sex, no matter how you feel, then you have to decide at that point whether to stay and allow them to explore this fantasy without you or you leave. And obviously

Starting point is 00:04:14 this is not your issue or problem anymore, but this is completely something that has to be up to you. And also I would ask this person, is this something that you've ever spoken about? If you're in a year relationship and you've never talked about fantasy, desires, anything in the sexual bedroom, and this has never been brought up, then okay, you have a reason to be really upset about this and not want to participate in all of these things, right? But if it's something that you had talked about before and you decided to still stay in this relationship, then that's on you. But I'm not here to place blame. There's no judgments. I want this platform to be a very safe and comfortable space, but let's be real, right? So you can either decide to have zero

Starting point is 00:05:13 participation and allow them to explore. You can stay and see what happens, or you can maybe at this point, you are seeing a therapist or a counselor because maybe you really love this person and want this to work out. So that again is your call. All right. Number three, This question is from David, and he is asking, how do you bring up a taboo kink, for example, cuckolding, to a new partner or just to a partner in general? Just to clarify, everybody, cuckolding is when one gets turned on by watching their partner have sex with somebody else. now also to clarify kink taboo is a really unattractive word in my book because i don't

Starting point is 00:06:09 think many things are taboo obviously anything that has to do with animals or children okay there's a solid line of unacceptable and disgusting but the kink world is really not taboo. It could just be not for you. So I just had to put that out there. So bringing this up to a new partner could be challenging, but it also could be really simple. You could find a kink community in your area because I think and believe they're everywhere and find somebody through that community so that this is not like a taboo thing. This is something that it's a commonality. And I do believe a lot of people within the community end up dating or being in a very comfortable situation. But this also could be very new to you and you find someone that

Starting point is 00:07:00 you're really interested in. And it's a discussion that needs to be brought up, right? Because you are really turned on by it, but maybe she's not. So how do you address that? I think it comes down to trust and safety and communication because everyone has their own desires and wants and needs and it is all okay. There should be no judgments, but you really need to be in a situation where you make sure that you know that you're not being judged and you're comfortable and you feel safe. And if it's something that you are in a partnership and you want to teach her and explore more great way to find out more about this is to watch some porn or get some books on the subject to get some ideas. Make sure you and your partner feel safe around each other. And that obviously

Starting point is 00:07:57 communication is key. You should always set rules and boundaries in advance so that one doesn't feel uncomfortable, right? You guys have the same comfort level. You both understanding what's okay and what's not okay. If a certain situation arises, if you're actually exploring this, never be afraid to ask questions, right? The more questions, the better, because especially navigating a new subject, if you will, a new area of desire and try to understand each other. Maybe what has brought this up or is the relationship just getting bored or is this something that has always turned them on? I would also recommend avoiding any alcohol or drugs anything that could blur the lines of reality. Start slow. And maybe you start like in a fantasy

Starting point is 00:08:50 or role-playing, or you do something that just you're testing the waters before you dive deep into something that could really just be really uncomfortable for that other person. All I could say, keep it fun and always enjoy each other. And remember to communicate because literally that is the most effective way to understanding each other. And if you don't know how to communicate where one's not hearing the other, then you guys should go see someone to talk this through. Next question is from Chris. What are the best ways to understand your partner's love language? Okay. Highly recommend taking the love language quiz online. it's five the number five lovelanguages.com and you could take the quiz and you know everybody

Starting point is 00:09:39 has five love languages that they have like a percentage in because we all want these things but there is one or two that will stick out the most what i would do is test out every single love language and make it fun make it a different date night every time i don't know how often you're going on dates, but choose a date based around that love language until you get through all five. And then you've got five different dates. You've got five different ways of expressing your love and your adoration for each other. Obviously the physical languages, the first one is physical touch. Get physical by doing an activity such as salsa dance lessons. I always love that because this is such a very erotic and sensual and you're touching each other. Words of affirmation,

Starting point is 00:10:30 tell them in a special way that you desire them or appreciate them. This could be in a form of a poem. It could be you just telling them on a daily that, babe, you look so hot. It looks like you're just beautiful, yada, yada. If you're into gifts, buy them a gift that has a meaning to them or your relationship, right? Just don't buy like a gift just because buy them something that has meaning. The other one is the acts of service. Do something without telling them

Starting point is 00:11:04 to make their life easier, obviously so that they will know that you did it, but just something. And it could be taking out the trash, cooking dinner one night. It could be taking the kids away so that she can do something for herself. There's so many ways that you can do acts of service depending on your relationship.

Starting point is 00:11:24 Quality time. Plan a date around their favorite activity. All that really matters with quality time is that you're there presently without the phone, without any distraction, and you are concentrating on them in that situation and in that moment. Now that is all. Go out, enjoy, and learn about their love languages. Have new dates.

Starting point is 00:11:48 Have fun. And it looks like that is all the questions for today. I appreciate them. Keep them coming in. I hope that we can get to some of these questions answered and that there's a little bit of direction moving forward. But anyhow, thank you so much again for listening to Talk Dirty to Me.

Starting point is 00:12:12 Have a wonderful day. thanks for tuning in to today's episode come and hang out with me on instagram at celeste more image let me know your thoughts on today's episode because i always love hearing from you all you can find all the links and resources in the show notes of the episode on my website celestemore.com okay that's all for now i'll see you in the next episode see you next time friends Thank you.

Moore Style - Talk Dirty To Me Q&A: Communication with Your Partner, Group Sex, Kinks & Navigating the 5 Love Languages in Relationship

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